Gene Hunt
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Quotes for
Gene Hunt (Character)
from "Life on Mars" (2006)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #1.1" (2008)
DCI Gene Hunt: Blimey, if that skirt was hitched any higher I could see what you had for breakfast.

DCI Gene Hunt: [has just saved a dazed Alex from getting run over by a police car] Are you crazy? Do you have any idea how much paperwork there is for suicides?

DI Alex Drake: [Gene has just solved the case] Oh, I could kiss you!
DCI Gene Hunt: Don't hold back.

DI Alex Drake: You're taller than I imagined.
DCI Gene Hunt: I'm bigger in every department.

DCI Gene Hunt: You're pissed.
DI Alex Drake: [slurring] And you are a figment.
DCI Gene Hunt: You're very pissed.

DI Alex Drake: [shortly after waking up in 1981] I can feel the wind.
DCI Gene Hunt: Streuth. She's gonna break into song.

DCI Gene Hunt: [to Alex] Are you going to kiss me or punch me?

DI Alex Drake: [looks at Chris] DC Chris Skelton.
[looks at Ray]
DI Alex Drake: DS Ray Carling.
[looks at Gene, after a pause, whispers]
DI Alex Drake: Gene Hunt.
DCI Gene Hunt: My reputation precedes me.

DCI Gene Hunt: Today my friend, you diary entry will read "Took a prozzie hostage and was shot by three armed bastards".

DCI Gene Hunt: Fire up the Quattro.

DI Alex Drake: What's so special about you, Gene? When good coppers go under why do you appear?
DCI Gene Hunt: It's my aftershave and stop wiggling your bloody fingers everytime you say my name!

DI Alex Drake: You know, I invented this world.
DCI Gene Hunt: I invented something once - the bruise free groin slap.

DCI Gene Hunt: My reputation precedes me.

DCI Gene Hunt: Do you have any idea what the paperwork on suicides is like?

DI Alex Drake: There's nothing on this harddrive but the time and date.
DCI Gene Hunt: Pong, I've got Pong.

DI Alex Drake: [Gene has just helped a very drunk Alex upstairs and onto the sofa; he sits down beside her] Let me do this on my own.
DCI Gene Hunt: It's always more fun with two.

DCI Gene Hunt: Today, your diary entry will read - "Took a prozzie hostage, and then got shot by three armed bastards!"

"Life on Mars: Episode #1.5" (2006)
Sam Tyler: If it was to do with football, he'd have serious injuries.
Gene: He's dead. That's quite serious.

Gene: There will never be a woman prime minister as long as I have a hole in my arse.

Gene: Oi! Referee! Has anyone ever told you you need glasses, you dozy git? Next time, I run you over!

Ray Carling: I think it was a heart attack.
Gene: Then it must've exploded out of his arse, there's blood all down his back.

Gene: Juries love all that. Makes 'em feel like Columbo.

Sam Tyler: I want to talk to his family, his friends, and his workmates. I want to find out if there was another motive.
Gene: You do that, Sherlock, and if that doesn't work, try the butler.

Sam Tyler: A woman, at number 32, 50 yards from the murder scene, heard a man's voice. She thinks he was shouting "Carl".
Gene: So?
Sam Tyler: What if it wasn't Carl? What if it was Col?
Gene: What if me uncle had tits, would he be me auntie?

Gene: [pours something into a pint] Time to liven things up a bit. It's hard to keep your stories straight when you're pissed, you ask my missus.
Sam Tyler: I'm not sure that's ethical.
Gene: It's not, it's vodka.

Gene: Doesn't take much working out, even for you lot. Right, let's start by bringing in all known football hooligans, get their names and addresses, find out where they were last night.
[Ray sneezes loudly]
Gene: Get Ray to breathe on 'em.

Gene: So, what do you want?
Sam Tyler: Olive oil would be nice, bit of coriander...
[Gene looks puzzled]
Sam Tyler: It's a herb.
Gene: Well, this is Trafford Park. You've got more chance of finding an ostrich with a plum up its arse.

Pete Bond: What's this?
Sam Tyler: It's chicken in a basket.
Man: Where's me plate?
Sam Tyler: You don't need a plate. It's in a basket.
Gene: Word.
[He takes Sam further down the bar]
Gene: Chicken... in a basket?
Sam Tyler: You told me to use my initiative.
Gene: Right, let's see how good you really are.
[hands him a piece of paper]
Gene: Two oxtail soups.
[Sam looks at the paper, then takes Gene's tea-towel and wipes the food list off the board before throwing the towel at him]
Sam Tyler: Food's off.

[as Sam and Gene are watching football fans walking past, they notice DS Ray Carling is among them]
Sam Tyler: Hang on, I thought he had flu.
Gene: Sergeant!
[Ray starts running]
Gene: Come back here, you skiving little git!

[Gene and Sam need to get a pub landlord out of the way so that they can go undercover]
Gene: Ray! Go and arrest the landlord of the Trafford Arms
Ray Carling: What for?
Gene: Think of something on the way.
Gene: In a bizarre twist of fate the landlord was arrested this afternoon... on suspicion of Cattle Rustling.
[Ray takes a bow and receives a round of applause]

Sam Tyler: I thought you were pissed.
Gene: Yeah, well think again. Coz I could drink every one of those toe rags under the table and still stop off for a pint on me way home. Are we done here?
Sam Tyler: Yeah.
Gene: Good. Coz if I want a bollocking for drinking too much, I'll call the wife thank you very much.

Gene: [in explanation after hitting a man] He didn't pay his tab.

Gene: [in the back of the van, to other officers] Right, tool up.
[all bring out bats, hammers etc except Sam]
Gene: Have you got anything? Good luck then.

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #2.8" (2009)
Gene Hunt: [Jackanory theme tune plays on TV, programme starts with Gene Hunt reading the story] Alex And The 'Orrible Awful 'Eadache. You'd better be sitting comfortably or there'll be tears. Alex Drake loved brains. She loved the way they controlled your arms and legs. Made you hungry and thirsty. She loved that these balls of wrinkly sponge could be filled with all our dreams, hopes and fears.
Alex Drake: [Walks over to the TV] This is fantastic. Bloody brilliant. Thank you, Guv. Another childhood memory ruined.
Gene Hunt: [Looks off camera] Is there going to be some flaming action in this?
[Continues the story]
Gene Hunt: Ever since she was a kid Alex had wanted to study brains...

Alex Drake: Willie Rushton. Kenneth Williams... I loved Kenneth Williams, could have been anyone.
Gene Hunt: [Looks directly into the camera] Shut your gob! Or I'll come round your houses and stamp on all your toys.

Gene Hunt: [Continues the story] When Alex grew up she became a policewoman...
Alex Drake: Police *Officer*.
Gene Hunt: ...or Plonk, as her friends cheerfully called her...

Gene Hunt: [Continues the story] And then one day, Alex met Pete. Alex and Pete fell in love, and they had a daughter, Molly...
[Looks off camera]
Gene Hunt: You know, I'm going to chuck if this lot carries on.
[Continues the story]
Gene Hunt: And Alex was, of course, a brilliant mum...
Alex Drake: Was I, though?
Gene Hunt: Until the 'eadache. The 'orrible awful 'eadache.

Gene Hunt: Right, shake a leg, you lot. It appears that every snout and grass in town has gone to ground. Something big is about to happen and I want my team ahead of the game.

Gene Hunt: In my office, Lady Bols.
[Shuts the door]
Gene Hunt: This is DCI John Carnegie, Fenchurch West.
DCI Carnegie: You all right? You look sick.
Alex Drake: Yeah, I'm fine.
Gene Hunt: She's just seen a man's tackle turned into a fish supper.
Alex Drake: It's an infection.
Gene Hunt: Small dose of the clap? Or the full round of applause?
Alex Drake: Yeah, it's third stage VD, Guv. I'm an aggressively promiscuous nymphomaniac, you know that.
DCI Carnegie: Good for you.

Alex Drake: I have to stop this infection. Time's running out for me, Guv.
Gene Hunt: Yeah, and time's running out for moi.
Alex Drake: That's French.
Gene Hunt: Sorry. I'm under pressure.

Gene Hunt: You talk to me, Alex. If I mean anything to you at all...
Alex Drake: I'm from the future. I was shot. And I woke up here, with you. Just like Sam Tyler, only this is *my* reality. And I'm fighting not to die, because if I die I will never get home. And it's insane, but there it is. And I trust you, which is why I'm telling you the truth. Guv?
Gene Hunt: I ask for the truth and you piss in my face?

Gene Hunt: [Talking to Alex] First Sam Tyler, now you. Why do I always attract the liars and the weirdoes?

Gene Hunt: I really thought you and me... I thought we were the ones, we had a connection.
Alex Drake: We do.
Gene Hunt: You can't tell me the truth.
Alex Drake: I did. I know you can't possibly comprehend it, but I did.
Gene Hunt: You know, it's just struck me how truly cold you are, Drake. You told me once, you had a daughter. But you don't phone her. You never talk about her. Never try and see her...
Alex Drake: [Slaps his face, storms out the room]
Gene Hunt: I'm doing this without you. And you dare to get in my way, I swear to God I will kill you!

Gene Hunt: What are the bricks doing? Somebody talk to me, what are the bloody bricks doing?
DS Ray Carling: Hang on, Guv, they're getting redirected. Bullion van's on its way. They're taking the van on the back streets. Drake was right. It's King Douglas Lane.

Martin Summers: I messed up. I'm sorry.
Gene Hunt: Are you?
Martin Summers: Yeah, I'm scared.
Gene Hunt: Do you remember a young copper ready to put the world to rights? Spick and span, very proud. Do you remember?
Martin Summers: Yes.
Gene Hunt: Hold onto that thought, it's a good'un.

Gene Hunt: [Carnegie pulls a gun, Gene knocks him down with the Quattro] Carnegie, you've just been Quattroed!

DS Ray Carling: Guv, we got this name from Tiny Tim's place.
Gene Hunt: King Dong Job?
DS Ray Carling: Yeah, King Dong. You know? Coloured porn star with a big massive... Black porn star with the massive... Oh, he's a chocolate lad with a great whopping knob.
Alex Drake: Could this be code?
Gene Hunt: Either that or our bent coppers are making a bluey starring Daley Thompson.
DS Ray Carling: I would pay good money to see that.
Alex Drake: You know what, so would I.
Gene Hunt: You couple of pervs.

Gene Hunt: I'm formally suspending you.
Alex Drake: You can't do that.
Gene Hunt: Me organ grinder, you monkey. Now give!

"Life on Mars: Episode #2.6" (2007)
[looking at a body]
Chris Skelton: I wonder what killed him?
Gene Hunt: That'll be the bloody enormous hole in his chest where the bullet went in!

[looking at a body]
Annie Cartwright: Boss? There's a viscous yellow liquid in his ear.
Gene Hunt: No, that's a drip from my fried egg butty, love. Well done, Miss Marple. That's why we need women detectives.

Sam Tyler: There's no history of drug dealing amongst the Gujerati Ugandan Asians.
Gene Hunt: Blahdy blahdy history bloody blah! It doesn't take a degree in Applied Bollocks to know what's going on.
Sam Tyler: Go on, then. Amaze me with your insubstantial guesswork.
Gene Hunt: He's come over here, started dealing and Rocket or one of the other local drug boys has took offence and offed him.
Sam Tyler: That's better that even *I* expected. Copper leaps to a conclusion then finds the evidence to fit.

Gene: Now. Yesterday's shooting. The dealers are all so scared we're more likely to get Helen Keller to talk. The Paki in a coma's about as lively as Liberace's dick when he's looking at a naked woman, all in all this investigation's going at the speed of a spastic in a magnet factory.
Sam Tyler: [Sam Tyler, aghast, drops the radio he is holding]
Gene: What?
Sam Tyler: Think you might have missed out the Jews.
Gene: What?
Sam Tyler: I think we need to explore whether this attempted murder was a hate crime.
Gene: What as opposed to one of those I-really-really-like-you sort of murders?

[Sam wonders whether the National Front planted drugs on the victim to make it look like a drug-related crime]
Gene Hunt: The NF are far too stupid for that. They could stick a shotgun up my arse and pull the trigger - they'd still miss!

Sam Tyler: Because I loved her!
Gene: You great... soft... sissy... girlie... nancy... French... bender... Man United supporting POOF!

Gene: You've got fingers in more pies than a leper on a cookery course.

Gene: Look at her, she's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.

Gene: You said he was dead!
Ray Carling: Well, he wasn't moving.
Gene: Chris doesn't move, but he's not dead!

Sam Tyler: I think she's telling the truth.
Gene: I think she's as fake as a tranny's fanny.

Sam Tyler: I still think we need to entertain the possibility that this could be a racial killing...
Gene: Oh, well let's entertain it, let's take it out for a prawn cooktail, a steak and a bottle of Liebfraumilch, then let's kick it into the gutter where it belongs!

Gene: Drugs, eh? What's the point. They make you forget, make you talk funny, make you see things that aren't there. My old grandma got all of that for free when she had a stroke.

[interviewing Layla at the station]
Layla: About 8:30, straight after I left Sam's flat, he was still alive.
Gene: Straight after you left Sam's flat?
Sam Tyler: She needed protection.
Gene: Well, I hope you used some!

"Life on Mars: Episode #1.3" (2006)
Gene: Drop your weapons! You are surrounded by armed bastards!

Gene Hunt: [to another police officer examining blood on the floor] Oi! Hairy Mary, shift yourself, you're in the way.
Sam Tyler: Let him do his job.

Gene Hunt: Chief culprit is Ted Bannister. I want him in custody by teatime.
Sam Tyler: What, because he spoke first?
Gene Hunt: 'Cos he's guilty as sin, and he's a commie bastard.
Sam Tyler: Sorry, that's bollocks. Total rubbish.
Gene Hunt: You're just itching to get your blood-spillage book out, aren't ya!
Sam Tyler: You're making him prime suspect based on what, a hunch?

Gene Hunt: Is my name 'Coco'?
Sam Tyler: What?
Gene Hunt: Why are you trying to make me look like a clown? Litton's gonna have a field day when he finds out you left four untraceable shooters out there.
Sam Tyler: This isn't about Litton. And don't blame me for this. You dumped it on me!
Gene Hunt: I thought you said you could multi... storey... task... Whatever!

Gene Hunt: [to Ted Bannister] Say goodnight, Gracie, and sit down. I said sit down!
Ted Bannister: Look. You've gotta open the mill. We can't afford to lose this order.
Gene Hunt: The mill stays shut until our inquiry is over.
Ted Bannister: [shouting] For god's sakes!
Gene Hunt: [shouting] SIT DOWN, OR I'LL SIT YOU DOWN! NOW!

Gene Hunt: [to Sam about the tin of Party Seven] Oi, Romeo. Are we gonna open this bog water or what?

Gene Hunt: What is your problem, Sam?
Sam Tyler: My problem would rock your world.

Gene Hunt: No one can touch the Gene Genie.

[talking about Gene's wager as to whether Ted Bannister is the real killer]
Sam Tyler: If you think I'm going to reduce a murder investigation to the level of a... a playground bet...
Gene: Cowardy cowardy custard. Can't cut the mustard.

DCI Litton: You knew those shooters were the real deal.
Gene: Bloody hell. You really *are* a detective.

Gene: Is that Blue Stratos?
DCI Litton: Paco Rabanne.

"Life on Mars: Episode #1.7" (2006)
Gene Hunt: Always trust the Gene Genie!

Gene Hunt: Now is not the time to have a one night stand with your conscience.

Gene Hunt: You so much as belch out of line, and I'll have your scrotum on a barbed wire plate.

Billy Kemble: [just caught by DCI Hunt] Oh, bollocks.
Gene Hunt: My thoughts exactly.

Gene Hunt: [to Sam] You're never happy unless you're making my life complicated, are ya?

Sam Tyler: If we can't police ourselves, how are the public supposed to trust us?
Gene Hunt: The public don't give a damn what we do, as long as we get results.
Sam Tyler: You're wrong.

Gene Hunt: I don't know...
Gene Hunt: ... who the biggest dickhead is round here.
Gene Hunt: [to Ray Carling] You, for what happened...
Gene Hunt: [to Sam] You, for your holier than thou act...
Gene Hunt: ...or me, for having any of you on my team.

Albert Collins: I'm not sharing with no one.
Gene Hunt: What is that, a double negative? Don't they teach you anything in nutter school these days?

Sam Tyler: Be gentle, will you?
Gene Hunt: I'm not a bleeding luddite.
[Andrea opens the door]
Gene Hunt: Hiya love. DCI Hunt. How're you feeling? Just come to talk to you about how your brother copped it.

Sam Tyler: Did you know that Billy took cocaine?
Andrea Kemble: He doesn't. He'd never take drugs.
Gene Hunt: Well, with respect, you probably thought he kept his cock in his keks and all.
Andrea Kemble: He your boss?
[Sam nods]
Andrea Kemble: Well, what would I get for smacking him one?
Sam Tyler: Round of applause from half our station.

[Sam and Gene are going through everyone's statements in the canteen]
Gene Hunt: What did he do when you looked in?
Ray Carling: Flicked me the Vs.
Gene Hunt: [writing] "Brandished his arms in an aggressive and violent manner".
[jump cut to Chris]
Gene Hunt: How many times did you check on him?
Chris Skelton: Once. Maybe twice.
Gene Hunt: Your memory's hardly your best quality, is it Chris? Let's round it up to four.
[jump cut to Phyllis]
Phyllis Dobbs: I said, he slid the tray along the floor at her.
Gene Hunt: [writing] "Mr Kemble angrily threw food in the face of WPC Annie Cartwright."

"Life on Mars: Episode #1.1" (2006)
Gene: [to a handful of kids, staring at his car] Anything happens to this motor, I'll come 'round your houses and stamp on all your toys. Got it? Good kids.

Gene: They reckon you've got concussion - but personally, I couldn't give a tart's furry cup if half your brains are falling out. Don't *ever* waltz into my kingdom playing king of the jungle.
Sam Tyler: Who the hell are you?
Gene: I'm Gene Hunt. Your DCI. And it's 1973. Nearly dinner time. I'm 'aving hoops.

Sam Tyler: I need a drink.
Gene: That's the first sensible thing you've said since you got here.

[Annie complies with Sam's request to hit him by punching him in the kidneys]
Sam Tyler: Ow! Shit!
WPC Annie Cartwright: I'm sorry, sir.
Gene: Aye aye, good girl, prostate probe and no jelly!

Gene: Right, we pulled a bird in, Dora Keane, she was the last person to see the victim alive.
Sam Tyler: Is she a suspect?
Gene: Nope, just a pain in the arse.
Sam Tyler: Okay, alright, brief me in full. What do I need to know?
Gene: She's a pain in the arse.
Sam Tyler: What, so you've handed her into lost property?
Chris Skelton: Well, we could use the canteen, but she's a right mouthy bird, this one.
Sam Tyler: Hang on, you're going to do the interview in there?
Gene: Thick walls.

Gene: I may be the sheriff, but I'm a deputy to the law.

[Gene violently pushes a table aside]
Gene Hunt: I'm done with this game. Let's play another. Let's play, eh, hopscotch or pin the tail on a donkey, you pick, Dora.
Dora Keens: I want a lawyer.
Gene Hunt: I wanna hump Britt Ekland. What are we gonna do?

[Sam and Gene going door to door]
Sam Tyler: We're looking for this woman, Dora Keynes. Approximately five foot two, curly brown hair, hazel eyes, fake topaz necklace.
[At the next door, Gene snatches the photo from Sam before he can start]
Gene Hunt: We're looking for a short skinny bird, wears a big coat, lots of gob.

Gene Hunt: Anything happens to this motor, I'll come around your houses and stamp on all your toys. Got it? Good kids.

Sam Tyler: I need a drink.
Gene Hunt: That's the first sensible thing you've said since you got here.

Gene Hunt: Hey reckon you've got concussion - but personally, I couldn't give a tart's furry cup if half your brains are falling out. Don't ever waltz into my kingdom playing king of the jungle.
Sam Tyler: Who the hell are you?
Gene Hunt: I'm Gene Hunt. Your DCI. And it's 1973. Nearly dinner time. I'm 'avin hoops

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #2.7" (2009)
Molly Drake: Mum? Mum? Mummy? Mummy? Mum? The doctor got the bullet out. You're going to be okay. He said if you get plenty of rest, and if there are no complications, you're going to wake up. You're going to be fine. Mum? Mummy? Mum?...
Chris Skelton: ...Ma'am? Do you want a biscuit, ma'am? Do you want a biscuit?
Alex Drake: No, I, erm, must have dozed off.
Gene Hunt: This is supposed to be a stakeout not a midnight feast at Malory Towers.
DS Ray Carling: Pillow fights and gym knickers, eh?
[All laugh]
Gene Hunt: Shake a leg, boys. Informant has it something big is going off, and I'm not referring to Ray's unsavoury teenage fantasies.
Chris Skelton: Here you are, guv, Shaz made it.
Gene Hunt: Not enough sugar. Or milk. Or tea.

Alex Drake: I'm going to wake up.
Gene Hunt: It's about bloody time.
Alex Drake: Yep, if there are no complications.
Gene Hunt: You're staying here.
Alex Drake: No, I'm fine, I just dozed off.
Gene Hunt: You don't look it, I'm not carrying a dead weight. You can man the radio. Or woman it. Whichever you prefer.
Alex Drake: Fine. Absolutely fine. All I'm saying to you is that you're going to miss me more than you know.
Gene Hunt: Well, I think we'll manage.

Gene Hunt: Daddy Bear in position.
DS Ray Carling: Big Bear set.
Chris Skelton: Baby Bear ready.

DS Ray Carling: [He uses a pneumatic/jackhammer drill to break away the concrete surrounding the dead body]
Gene Hunt: Oi! Oi! What do you think you're doing?
DS Ray Carling: Digging him out.
Gene Hunt: We want a body on a mortuary slab not a plate of dog food, use a ruddy chisel.
DS Ray Carling: Guv, that'll take ages.
Gene Hunt: Well you better get started then.
Chris Skelton: I haven't had my turn yet.

Alex Drake: The site manager's here, Michael Lafferty.
Gene Hunt: What?
Alex Drake: What?
Gene Hunt: Either you've got a meaningful bowel movement on the way or you're about to say "it's probably nothing, but..."
Alex Drake: Don't be ridiculous. Well... it probably is nothing, but doesn't it seem a bit of a coincidence to you that we get a tip off, drugs *and* a body?

Lafferty: Delays are very expensive.
Gene Hunt: Well, forgive me if our little investigation costs Sir Henrington Arse-Twat a year's subscription to his private members' club.

Young Summers: Look, I know I might be putting my job on the line, but word is you're straight, totally kosher.
Gene Hunt: Well apart from not being Jewish and the fact that, in my case, Sgt Rock is 100% intact,
[looks at Alex]
Gene Hunt: in case you were wondering...
Alex Drake: No.
Gene Hunt: ...I'm as kosher as a rabbi at a matzo party, you can talk here.

Gene Hunt: Someone forged it. Someone with easy access to the evidence room.
Alex Drake: Whoever took it, why would they want a poem?
Gene Hunt: Who says it was a poem? Maybe Tomascz was too scared to tell us what it really said.

Gene Hunt: No sign of Summers. Both of them put one man in the frame.
Alex Drake: Lafferty. But how could he know that we'd brought Tomascz in?
Gene Hunt: Someone in our station told him. Probably the same bastard that stole the note. Someone in CID. Someone on my team.
Alex Drake: You thinking about Mac?
Gene Hunt: I'm thinking about Mac, about Kevin Hales, about every investigation that's gone tits up for as far back as I can remember.

Gene Hunt: [speaking to everyone] As most of you know, a key witness in the investigation into the murder of Dawid Czarnecki has been seriously injured in what appears to be a hit and run incident. It has also come to my attention that someone on my watch, very possibly somebody in this room misappropriated a vital piece of evidence, jeopardising the entire case. That won't do. That will not do at all. And when I found out who is responsible, I will be very, very angry.

DS Ray Carling: Guv. You know I wouldn't go behind your back, don't you?
Gene Hunt: It's all right, Raymondo, I know I can trust you. That hit and run was attempted murder, the lad knew what was on the missing note. Something else. I've got a file, physical evidence that could nail Lafferty, but I can't keep it here, not at the moment. It's in a safety deposit box on Talbot Street. Box number one sixteen.
DS Ray Carling: One sixteen.
Gene Hunt: Just in case I end up on the wrong end of a car accident.
DS Ray Carling: Right, Guv.

"Life on Mars: Episode #2.7" (2007)
Gene: Listen, you're not the one who's going to have to knit himself a new arse after 25 years of aggressive male affection in prison showers. I'm coming with you!

[Sam startles Gene by waking screaming from a nightmare]
Sam Tyler: I was just dreaming.
Gene: What I call a dream involves Diana Dors and a bottle of chip oil!

Gene: [on the phone to Sam] I appear to have killed a man.

Gene: [after Sam woke up screaming] That's a guilty conscience.
Sam Tyler: What is?
Gene: The root of nightmares. Now as for me, I slept like a baby.
Sam Tyler: Yeah, a twenty stone baby. Burps, snores, farts...
Gene: I do *not* snore!

Sue: Oh. It's you. It took two bottles of bleach and a can of Ajax to get your stink off this doorstep.
Gene: My stink? You saw me here?
Sue: Saw you? I had to step over your carcass. Now me, I would've just left you there but that's what friends are for.
Gene: Friends?
Sue: The young lad who came and poured you into the back of his van. It was him who needed help, he looked like he'd been in the wars with that bandaged hand.

Sam Tyler: You can't go in there. You're public enemy n°1.
[Gene puts on big sunglasses]
Sam Tyler: That's your idea of a disguise?
Gene: I pass through crowds like the invisible man
[they get out of the car, Ray and Chris drive up]
Ray Carling: Guv! It's Morgan. We've got to bring you in.

Sam Tyler: Why are we running?
Gene: 'Coz they're chasing us.

Gene: And another thing. I intend to drink the equivalent of the North Sea in whisky tonight so raid your piggy banks.

Gene: [Tyler prepares to interview Hunt] Come on, then, Twinkle-Toes. Strut your stuff!

Gene: I love you!
[grabs hold of Sue, kisses her full on the lips]
Sue: [splutters embarrassedly] You filthy swine!
Gene: Ooh, yeah!

"Life on Mars: Episode #1.4" (2006)
[Tyler and Hunt have forced a henchman to strip to his underwear in a cold store, to encourage him to answer their questions]
Gene Hunt: My friend is going to ask you some questions. Personally, I hope you don't answer them, because I want you to die in here and end up inside a pork pie.

Gene Hunt: You think you know everything, don't you?
Sam Tyler: I know the stench of rotten apples.
Gene Hunt: Yeah? And I know your slag is lying through her teeth, and do you wanna know why?
Sam Tyler: Yeah, why?
Gene Hunt: Because Stephen Warren is a bum bandit. D'you understand? A poof. A fairy. A queer. A queen. Fudge packer. Uphill gardener. Fruit picking sodomite.
Sam Tyler: He's gay?
Gene Hunt: As a bloody Christmas tree! Mind you, he is a little touchy on the subject, being a twisted Catholic with an elderly mother and all, so I wouldn't go mentioning it to him... You challenged his authority so he stitched you up like a kipper. Pretty girl appealed to your vanity as the only decent sheriff in Dodge City. Slipped you a Mickey, tied you up and bounced on your ding-a-ling.
Sam Tyler: Why?
Gene Hunt: I suspect the answer will lie in the post. Photos, you idiot.

Gene Hunt: I'm not a Catholic meself, Mr Warren, but isn't there something about thou shalt not suck off rent boys?
Stephen Warren: How dare you come in here?
Gene Hunt: You could've said that to the boy!

Gene Hunt: [the Sweet is playing loudly in a club] Do you like this music?
Sam Tyler: Yeah, I do, don't you?
Gene Hunt: It's just a lot a noise, really. Me and the wife like, eh, Roger Whitaker. Well, lot more her than me. D'ya know him?
Sam Tyler: Not intimately.
Gene Hunt: Keep it to yourself. We all have our dirty little secrets.
Sam Tyler: Indeed we do.

Gene: It's a horrible concept, ain't it? Huge psychotic hippies fencing stolen tellies.
Sam Tyler: This has nothing to do with me.
Gene: Oh, stop being such a girl. Think of it as a tax on bad people.
Nelson: What is that, mon brave?
Gene: It's a television.
Nelson: In a pub?
Gene: Yeah, ask the boy wonder here.
Sam Tyler: It's nothing to do with me.
Gene: Tell him what you told me.
Sam Tyler: I can make some brackets, I can put it on the wall, and watch the sports.
Nelson: In a pub?

Gene Hunt: Don't talk to me! Trousers!

Gene Hunt: A month later I took my first back hander.
Sam Tyler: How did it make you feel?
Gene Hunt: Like shit.
Sam Tyler: How do you feel now?
Gene Hunt: I try not to think about it. I do the best that I can, to take care of my men and the people in my city.
Sam Tyler: But when you do think about it, how does it make you feel?
Gene Hunt: Like there's an animal eating away at me insides.
Sam Tyler: Fancy doing something about it?
Gene Hunt: Thought you'd never ask.

Gene Hunt: How did you know Red Rum was gonna win the national?
Sam Tyler: Just a hunch.
Gene Hunt: No inside information? No tip off from someone in the racing fraternity?
Sam Tyler: I wouldn't do that would I?
Gene Hunt: I didn't think you'd lock a murder suspect in a giant fridge.
Sam Tyler: He wouldn't answer my question.

"Life on Mars: Episode #2.1" (2007)
Gene Hunt: Good work, Raymondo. I'm pumping you back up to D.S. Though this time make it stand for "Detective Sergeant" and not "Dog Shit".

Gene Hunt: Are you on strike? Common, hands off your ding-a-ling, we've had another shout.
Sam Tyler: Well seeing as you've just broke my door down, I take it, it's big.
Gene Hunt: As Shelley Winters' arse.

Gene Hunt: Black suits you, Eddows. Do you want an eye in the same colour.

[Hunt is questioning a suspect]
Gene Hunt: Black suits you, Eddows. D'you want an eye in the same colour?
Andy Eddows: I was at my father's funeral.
Gene Hunt: Well it could be yours next, pal!

Sam Tyler: Do you keep a journalist chained in your basement for random beatings, guv?
Gene Hunt: Don't have a basement.

Gene: [to reporters in the way of his Ford Cortina] Move, ya bastards!

Gene Hunt: Nancy Drew couldn't hold a candle.

"Life on Mars: Episode #1.2" (2006)
Sam Tyler: Poeple are always in danger, Gov. One minute you're going about your business, the next, BANG! You're taken out by a speeding car.
Gene: Well I'm taking that speeding car off the road. For good!

Sam Tyler: Kim Trent, I'm arresting you in suspicion of armed robbery. You do not have to say anything but it may harm your def... No, that's not it, is it? What is it? ahh... You have the right to remain silent...
Gene: You're nicked!

Gene: Oi! Gary Cooper nearly came down then! If you want to kick the ball about, do it in the corridor!

Sam Tyler: A black car, yeah?
Leonard: Ford... Granada.
Sam Tyler: Registration?
Leonard: E... I don't know.
DCI Gene Hunt: Sorry, was that, like, you saying the letter "E", and you don't know the rest or was that, like, you saying "EEE, I Dunno"

[Gene is looking at a poster for The Good, The Bad And The Ugly]
Sam Tyler: Which one are you?
DCI Gene Hunt: All three.

Sam Tyler: This place is like Guantanamo Bay.
DCI Gene Hunt: Keep off, it's nothing like Spain.

DCI Gene Hunt: There's no badge down there, Sammy-boy. Mind you, does tickle open a few doors, eh? Come on!

"Life on Mars: Episode #2.4" (2007)
Ray Carling: Woman in her 20s.
Chris Skelton: Dead.
Gene Hunt: Well I didn't think she was sunbathing, did I?

Gene Hunt: I want this man caught before he kills again. This is my city and it will be a safe place for my wife and my mum to walk around, is that understood?
Others: Yes, guv.
Gene Hunt: Right, find out who that dead woman was, find out who killed her. Do it now.
[checks his watch]
Gene Hunt: Hold on, hold on. Do it tomorrow morning first thing. Beer o'clock, gentlemen.

Sam Tyler: Denise Williams was thrown out of that car by that man.
Gene Hunt: So? Pushed a bird out of a car, doesn't make him a bad bloke.
[Sam gives him a look]
Gene Hunt: Oh, pull him in then, I'll dance the fandango on his head.

Gene Hunt: I don't like this. Gene Hunt smashes doors down, he does not pick girly locks.

[Sam, Gene, Ray and Chris are covertly bugging a suspect's garage. Suddenly, a police siren can be heard outside]
Ray Carling: The law! The law!
Gene Hunt: Get down, you div!
[they all duck behind a car]
Sam Tyler: [realising] *We are* the law, you bloody clowns!

Chris Skelton: [farting sound] Sorry.
Gene Hunt: What have you been eating? Pedigree Chum?

Sam Tyler: The pathologist from the original murders, Stuart Baiter...
Gene Hunt: Ah, Master Baiter. Remember him well.

"Life on Mars: Episode #1.6" (2006)
Gene Hunt: I reckon we can take him, I'll jump on him, you take his gun and Cartwright can jump up and down on his knackers.

Sam Tyler: We need an inner cordon as well as this one. Think of it as two circles, one inside the other. The area in the centre is out of limits to everybody but us.
Gene Hunt: Fair enough.
Sam Tyler: Call it the donut.
Gene Hunt: Jam or custard?
Sam Tyler: Now you're just being silly.
Gene Hunt: I'm not the one calling it a donut
Sam Tyler: He's got natural camouflage. He can see out; we can't see in.
Hugo Barton: [runs towards the team] Excuse me!
Sam Tyler: Excuse me sir, can you go back behind the cordon, please.
Hugo Barton: Hugo Barton. I'm a reporter from the Gazette.
Gene Hunt: Oh, terrific.
Gene Hunt: [shouts at the hostage taker] Oi! We've got another one for you!
Sam Tyler: Gov.
Gene Hunt: He walked in about 40 minutes ago; he was just ahead of me. He pulled a gun; he means business.
Gene Hunt: Y' know, I'd listen to the snot in my hankie before I'd listen to you.

Gene Hunt: Oh, come on Reg, you're a criminal. You do what I do, I'm a copper, I do what I do. Cats eat kippers, dogs eat bones.

Sam Tyler: This is the crisis centre.
Gene Hunt: I think, if it's the centre of the crisis you're looking for, it's out there.

Chris Skelton: [Annie appears in a nurse uniform] Blimey, I've dreamt about this.
Gene Hunt: [handing Annie a gun] Don't worry, love, just like riding a bike.
Sam Tyler: Guv, he's gonna frisk her.
Gene Hunt: You know, something tells me Reg isn't around lots birds. We stuff this down her knickers, it's the one place he won't have the nerve to look.
Chris Skelton: I'll do it.

Sam Tyler: Okay, we cut them. We cut him off. I want to keep him contained. He'll be isolated. His only way of speaking to the outside world will be through...
Gene Hunt: Us.
Sam Tyler: Me. I'm the negotiator.
Gene Hunt: I'll make you a hat.

Gene Hunt: That is a single malt! What kind of a monster are you?

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #1.2" (2008)
DCI Gene Hunt: Personally I have no desire whatsoever to see your boney, privately educated bottoms but it's good for morale.

DCI Gene Hunt: Special Branch are as nervous as a virgin in a brothel.

DCI Gene Hunt: When I need advice from a lobotomized Essex girl I'll ask for it, okay?

DI Alex Drake: Please?
DCI Gene Hunt: No.
DI Alex Drake: I'll let you stamp my bum.
DCI Gene Hunt: I'll get me coat.

DCI Gene Hunt: D.I. Bollyknickers, you appear to be drunk in charge of a handbag and dressed like a tart again.
DI Alex Drake: Oh piss off you lardy fascist.
DCI Gene Hunt: We'll make a copper of you yet.

DCI Gene Hunt: Bit of admin - we need to stamp your arse.
DI Alex Drake: I beg your pardon?

"Life on Mars: Episode #2.8" (2007)
[last lines]
Sam Tyler: It's procedure. You're not above the law, you know, guv.
Gene Hunt: What are you on about, Tyler? I am the law.
Sam Tyler: In your dreams.

Gene Hunt: Tyler! Put that soppy plonk down and get in. Blag on in Archer Lane, shots fired, lovely. You two tarts get in, and you flash knickers.

Gene Hunt: Shut up you noncey-arsed fairy boy.

Sam Tyler: You shouldn't be driving with that leg.
Gene Hunt: Well, I am.
Sam Tyler: You were shot.
Gene Hunt: And so will you be if you don't get in. Now, move it!

Sam Tyler: I should drive you know.
Gene Hunt: You drive like my aunt Mabel.

Gene Hunt: Now you're just showing off.

"Life on Mars: Episode #2.2" (2007)
[Gene Hunt thinks that Sam Tyler is being overcautious]
Gene Hunt: You know, if I was as worried as you, I'd never fart for fear of shitting myself.

Annie Cartwright: [holding her gun] I haven't received any firearms training. That's not right.
Gene Hunt: You see this is why birds and CID don't mix. You give a bloke a gun it's a dream come true, you give a girl one she moans it doesn't go with her dress.

Sam Tyler: How does your missus put up with you?
Gene Hunt: Must be my legendary prowess as a lover.

Sam Tyler: There's been an allegation from a prisoner about one of our officers.
Gene Hunt: Don't tell me. Phyllis is demanding slap and tickle for a night in the cells.

Sam Tyler: Gene... I'm dying...
Gene: Rubbish, you're like that every Sunday morning!

Gene Hunt: If a villain farts in this city, our snout should be able to find the arse responsible.

"Life on Mars: Episode #2.3" (2007)
[a car bomb has exploded, injuring Ray Carling. Gene believes that it is the work of the IRA, but Sam, with his knowledge from the future, is adamant that the IRA doesn't use that type of explosive at this time]
Gene Hunt: [to Sam] All right, sulky bollocks! If it wasn't the IRA or any other terrorist group, who blew up that car, then? The WI?

Gene Hunt: How do you think I spend my time here, Tyler?
Sam Tyler: Building a Death Star?

Gene Hunt: [to Sam] All right then, sulky bollocks, if it wasn't the IRA or any other terrorist group, who blew up that car then? The WI?

Gene Hunt: Right, Phyllis, from now on you stay behind the desk, only you to answer the phone.
Phyllis Dobbs: What if I have to go to the ladies', guv?
Gene Hunt: Cross your legs.

Sam Tyler: He shouldn't be here. He's got PTSD.
Gene Hunt: The man's a bloody hero and you're accusing him of having the clap?

"Life on Mars: Episode #1.8" (2006)
Gene: I think you have forgotten who you are talking to.
Sam Tyler: An overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding.
Gene: You make that sound like a *bad* thing!

Ruth Tyler: Inspector... Bolan?
Sam Tyler: Tyler. We met in connection with a burglary. Uh... I thought it might confuse you if I gave you my real name, so I... adopted a professional alias.
Gene Hunt: It's not a wind-up love, he really thinks like this.

Gene Hunt: The Morton brothers are funding and distributing hardcore porno.
Sam Tyler: Hardcore? I've seen worse on Channel Four.

[last lines]
Ray Carling: So, what do you want to do now, Guv?
Gene: [thinks for a moment] Pub!
Ray Carling: [smirks] Pub.
Chris Skelton: [grins] Pub.
[Sam looks at the other three men in turn]
Sam Tyler: [slowly smiles] Pub.
[all get in car and drive off]

Gene Hunt: I think you've forgotten who you're talking to.
Sam Tyler: An overweight, over the hill, nicotine-stained, borderline alcoholic, homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding.
Gene Hunt: You make that sound like a bad thing.

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #1.8" (2008)
DCI Gene Hunt: Is it just me or are you talking in another dimension?

DI Alex Drake: I want Ray.
DCI Gene Hunt: Well, I could grow a moustache but I draw a line at a perm.

DCI Gene Hunt: Where's his twatship?

DI Alex Drake: How come you were there? Taking the little girl's hand? That couldn't have happened - you weren't there. You're not real.
DCI Gene Hunt: I'm everywhere, Bolly. I was needed and I was there.

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #1.6" (2008)
DI Alex Drake: Pedestrian!
DCI Gene Hunt: Stop moaning - I didn't hit him. What is up with you this morning? You haven't got the decorators in again, have we?
DI Alex Drake: God, is my brain so small...

DCI Gene Hunt: You are a bossy cow.
DI Alex Drake: And you are a Bonapartist.
DCI Gene Hunt: What's that then? Like double-jointed?

Luigi: What are you doing drinking by your own? Where are your men? And why is the lovely signorina up in her flat, also by her own?
DCI Gene Hunt: The lads'll be here soon, as for the lovely signorina - well she can take a swan dive from the window as far as I'm concerned.
Luigi: Ah, I see. Who will catch her?
DCI Gene Hunt: No-one hopefully.

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #1.5" (2008)
DI Alex Drake: Well, we've established the cover: Marcus and I used to work the streets.
DCI Gene Hunt: Did you?
DI Alex Drake: No, that's the cover.
DCI Gene Hunt: Shame. Might've fancied a punt.
DI Alex Drake: Hang on, hang on. Now this is worth getting straight; I'm imagining you, imagining paying for sex with me, in my imaginary role as an imaginary street whore?
DCI Gene Hunt: You must have a filthy mind.
DI Alex Drake: Absolute sewer, apparently.

DCI Gene Hunt: What do you mean, 'left, left'?
DI Alex Drake: I mean he turned left.
DCI Gene Hunt: You don't need to tell me twice!

DI Alex Drake: What am I doing here really? What is the point of all this?
DCI Gene Hunt: To dress like a tart, wiggle your arse in my direction, and fill my days with glimpses of the depths of your depraved mind? It's good enough for me, Bolly.

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #1.3" (2008)
[Alex Drake claimed, untruthfully, that she used to work as a prostitute before joining the police force, just to see what Gene's reaction would be]
DI Alex Drake: I'm not a hooker. But if I was, d'you know something, Gene? You could never, ever afford me.
DCI Gene Hunt: You might talk with a plum in your gob, love, but I would rather go with one of those whores than waste my money on some bitter, twisted, messed-up, clenched-arse toffee-nosed bitch like you.
[Alex slaps Gene very hard across the face, sending him sprawling]
DCI Gene Hunt: You feel better now?
DI Alex Drake: No.
[she hits him again]
DI Alex Drake: Better now!

[cautioning a rape and murder suspect]
DCI Gene Hunt: Anything you say will be taken down, ripped up and shoved down your scrawny little throat until you choke to death.

DCI Gene Hunt: What is that?
Chris Skelton: It's a kebab.
DCI Gene Hunt: It looks like a bloody pasty with its arse hanging out.

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #3.1" (2010)
Gene Hunt: And Ray if you come in here again dressed like a maths teacher I will paint your balls the color of hazelnuts and inform a pack of squirrels that winter's coming.

Gene Hunt: Wakey wakey, Drakey. Come on, you weren't that shot.

Gene Hunt: So we're looking for a bloke who's done time. That narrows it down to most of Planet Earth and the whole of Sunderland.

"Life on Mars: Life Is a Rock (#1.17)" (2009)
Lieutenant Gene Hunt: Tyler, Come here. I need you.
[Having resolved to stay in 1973 with the people he has become so attached to, Sam walks up to Gene and gives him a big hug]
Lieutenant Gene Hunt: [laughing] I know. I think I'm gonna miss you most of all, scarecrow.
[Sam is suddenly 'awoken', presumably never to see his 1973 friends again]

Lieutenant Gene Hunt: Revenge is for the weak. The strong, they brush it off... and say, "Thanks for the gunshot, dinkweed, but I didn't even feel it."

Detective Sam Tyler: You really been shot five times, Gene?
Lieutenant Gene Hunt: Shot five times. Shot at 351 times.
Detective Sam Tyler: You count?
Lieutenant Gene Hunt: Two things you always count, Tyler, gunshots and blessings.

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #2.6" (2009)
DCI Gene Hunt: Well Bolly, people don't hide things from me. They just forget to mention it till my boot meets their arse.

DCI Gene Hunt: If a man isn't going to squeal when he's about to have his bum conkers crushed by a big machine, the chances are he's telling the truth.

DCI Gene Hunt: Donna Mitchell you're under arrest for the murder of Colin Mitchell AKA the poor bugger who had the misfortune of being your husband.

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #3.3" (2010)
Alex Drake: You are certifiable!
Gene Hunt: Thank you. I've always wanted a certificate for something.

Gene Hunt: No tea and no fags until you start talking, shitstick!

Shaz Granger: Guv, that was the hospital about that journalist.
Gene Hunt: Is he up for answering questions?
Shaz Granger: Might be tricky. He's dead.
Gene Hunt: Excellent! What else have you got for me? Burning down orphanage? Couple of char grilled kittens? You know, if the Queen Mother self combusted on my watch I'd be blamed for that and all!

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #1.7" (2008)
DI Alex Drake: [to Gil Hollis] Well, the mind's an amazing organ.
DCI Gene Hunt: I've got an amazing organ.
DI Alex Drake: [still to Gil Hollis] It's capable of far more than you'd imagine.
DCI Gene Hunt: Right again.

DI Alex Drake: I propose, that given your reaction to the gender balance of the gang, that this is their first job.
DCI Gene Hunt: What, New Kids On The Block?
DI Alex Drake: Now that's a good name for a boy band!
WPC Sharon 'Shaz' Granger: Gov.
DCI Gene Hunt: Chris, Take That! It's the dodgy second hand car dealers. East 17!
DC Chris Skelton: Alright, Backstreet Boys.
DS Ray Carling: Yeah, let's get 'em Busted!
DI Alex Drake: Ooh God! I'm gonna scream!

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #2.2" (2009)
DI Alex Drake: You're playing with them
DCI Gene Hunt: No, it's just the way I'm standing

DCI Gene Hunt: Looking very chirpy, Bolls, you've been sitting on the washing machine again?

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #3.8" (2010)
Gene Hunt: My real name is Nigel Perkins.
[Alex looks at him]
Gene Hunt: Nah, I'm just kidding, it's Gene Hunt.

Chris Skelton: Coming, Ray?
Ray Carling: You are and always will be... the Guv
Gene Hunt: Danger of getting poofy, Raymondo.

"Life on Mars: Revenge of Broken Jaw (#1.13)" (2009)
Pat Olsen: I know you. Gene Hunt. 'Cause every autocracy needs a tyrant.
Lieutenant Gene Hunt: I am not a tyrant. I am a dictator. Big difference.

Pat Olsen: Does it really matter what I do or say? You'll beat a confession out of me if you have to, won't you?
Lieutenant Gene Hunt: I will. It's what we call in this line of work "the perks."

"Life on Mars: My Maharishi Is Bigger Than Your Maharishi (#1.3)" (2008)
Detective Sam Tyler: You see? Reeves' murder is looking more and more like a hate crime.
Lieutenant Gene Hunt: What? As opposed to an 'I really, really like you' crime?

"Life on Mars: Everyone Knows It's Windy (#1.16)" (2009)
Lieutenant Gene Hunt: So, while you've been sleeping, Chris, Spiro Agnew turned out to be a great disappointment to us all. He was taking bribes. Can you imagine? The Vice President taking bribes. What's next? The President himself committing burglary?

"Life on Mars: Things to Do in New York When You Think You're Dead (#1.5)" (2008)
Lieutenant Gene Hunt: Nobody hurts little girls in my kingdom, and it is my kingdom. Huntlandia, home of the blueberry crepe, where little kids are off limits.

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #3.2" (2010)
Alex Drake: [Hunt is beating a suspect] Is this strictly necessary?
Gene Hunt: No, but it's bloody good fun!

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #3.6" (2010)
Gene Hunt: Listen to me, you shit stick. This is DCI Gene Hunt. I am now taking charge of D Wing at Her Majesty's pleasure. If you so much as lay a finger on my colleague I swear to God I will come in there and rip your heart out. Do you understand me?
Alex Drake: That kind of talk is just going to agitate and encourage them.
Gene Hunt: I am negotiating!
Alex Drake: What, you mean like Hiroshima was negotiated?

"Life on Mars: Episode #2.5" (2007)
Gene Hunt: You made it then. 'Bout bloody time.
Sam Tyler: [grabs a surprised Gene by the shirt and slings him up against the wall] And as for you, I can just about handle you driving like a pissed up crackhead, and treating women like beanbags! But I'm gonna say this once, and once only, Gene. Stay out of Camberwick Green!

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #2.4" (2009)
Gene Hunt: [about to raid a suspect's house] A quick word about police brutality... plenty of it!

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #2.3" (2009)
Gene Hunt: You just entered Gene Hunt country. Head of state, Gene Hunt. Chief of Justice, Gene Hunt. Executioner, Gene Hunt. Shit at football, would never win Eurovision but can spot a terrorist gobshite from a hundred yard away.

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #1.4" (2008)
DCI Gene Hunt: Oh dear Lord, if this is a test I fear I may fail. And I thought it'd be the booze or the fags but oh no, I'm going to die in an underground vault in the company of a posh mouthy tart with a head full of brains and the common sense of a grain weevil.
DI Alex Drake: You're not going to die. I can't die. Can I.
[pause, then almost imploringly]
DI Alex Drake: Can I?
DCI Gene Hunt: [looks at her for a long moment] Come here.
[he puts his arm around Alex and she rests her head against his chest]

"Ashes to Ashes: Episode #2.5" (2009)
Mickey Dillon: I'm telling you it wasn't me!
Gene Hunt: [Hunt pushes Mickey against the wall] Raymondo...
DS Ray Carling: Right.
[Carling punches Mickey in the stomach]
Gene Hunt: Are you ill?
DS Ray Carling: No, why?
Gene Hunt: You only hit him once.

"Life on Mars: The Dark Side of the Mook (#1.9)" (2009)
Interrogator: Lieutenant Hunt, you have some pretty unorthodox investigative methods.
Lieutenant Gene Hunt: What can I say? I'm an artst.