Doug Witter
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Quotes for
Doug Witter (Character)
from "Dawson's Creek" (1998)

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"Dawson's Creek: All Good Things... (#6.23)" (2003)
Doug Witter: [Doug pulls Jack over for speeding] Looks like somebody's in quite the hurry this morning.
Jack: Sheriff Doug. I'm sorry. I'm late, I'm trying to get to class...
Doug Witter: Well, I have no choice but to issue you a citation for doing 40 in a 25.
Jack: Look, I already have all these, these points against my license. D'ya think maybe there's something I could to to... get you to look the other way?
Doug Witter: May I remind you, Mr. McPhee, that attempting to bribe a public official is a serious offense.
Jack: Well, you know, I was just hoping I could appeal to your greater sense of compassion?
Doug Witter: [Doug thinks about it and then leans over and kisses Jack] All right. Just this once I'll let you go with a warning.
Jack: [Jack puts his hand over Doug's] Thanks, honey.
Doug Witter: [Doug laughs] No. No - never call me honey.
Jack: Dude, it's a deserted road. Chill.
Doug Witter: Don't call me dude, either.
Jack: All right. Tonight? Uh, dinner later?
Doug Witter: Yeah. I'll cook. My place.
Jack: Great. I'll bring the handcuffs... kidding.
Doug Witter: Yeah, I'll see you. Jack - slow down.
Jack: Yeah.
[Jack turns to look at Doug's rear end as he walks back to his sheriff's car]

"Dawson's Creek: Eastern Standard Time (#4.18)" (2001)
[Pacey is arrested for being drunk and disorderly]
Doug Witter: What are you trying to do to yourself, Pacey? You're not satisfied with being a moron and a failure? You've got to add 'drunk' to your list of credentials?
Pacey: This is for me! This is my whole life right here! This is all I get!

"Dawson's Creek: That Was Then (#6.16)" (2003)
Pacey Witter: Now hold on, what exactly do you want to talk to me about? From my way of seeing things, we are just two brothers trying to take care of our large family.
Doug Witter: No, Pacey. I'm the one taking care of the family. I'm the one that's been taking care of the family for years.
Pacey Witter: Now Doug, don't you dare get righteous on me. You cannot lower your resentment over me because that was your choice to stay here in this crappy small town and look after our drunkard parents, and our sisters, and our screaming, out-of-control nieces and nephews.
Doug Witter: Yeah, I do happen to make choices. I know that's a foreign concept for you who likes to play musical careers!
Pacey Witter: How did we get here? I'm I stepping on your turf or something? Are you the only member of the family allowed to be carring and compassionate? What did you expect me to do, Doug? Just chomp on my cigar on the other end of the phone and cut a check for the man's funeral? I am a member of this family.
Doug Witter: Yeah, convenently. That's the way it is with you lately. You swoop in at Christmas after not calling or visiting for months, bringing your fancy and expensive gifts, and pull wool over the whole Witter family's eyes. And then you're out. Everybody forgets.
Pacey Witter: Forgets what? That I'm the family failure? The black sheep? I'm never supposed to grow up? I'm not allowed to succeed? I'm I not allowed to want things?
Doug Witter: We all want things, Pacey. Belive me, we all want things!
Pacey Witter: Then what? Am I not supposed to get them? Is that it? Or is that Witter males like us are not supposed to get them? We're just supposed to follow tradition; stay in Capeside, get married, have four or five kids, become drunks who hit and abuse our wives and children every day and night just like Dad and Grandad, and later die from alcoholism before reaching age 50? So wait... ultimately, this is not about me or our father, which is kind of pathetic, Doug, considering the condition that man is in right now up there in that hospital bed. This is about you wanting to see my face every day and remind yourself that you're still the better son. That you're top dog. Well, that's just sad, Doug! That's just sad that you see things that way. It's sad that you resent me because I'm a laid back, free thinker and not the obedient lap dog like you... following our father's orders without question all your life just to nuzzle up to him in order to stay on his good side. I miss the daily beatings from our old man just as much as you do, but I had to leave sometime... whereas you chose to stay here close to our father, slash, domestic abuser.
Doug Witter: Pacey, don't make this a celebration about your retreat from Capeside.
Pacey Witter: I'm not! Listen... I came here to see you, and to see him. And you know what? He knows it, and he appreciates it. Perhaps he's even happy to know that I... his youngest son and youngest child, whom he ignored, abused, and verbaly put down for the better part of my whole life, is not going to hold a grudge against him until the day he dies. In a strange way, this might even be a good thing.
Doug Witter: You know it is a good thing, Pacey. It's all yours. You can have it. Enjoy it while it lasts because our father will not be around forever.

"Dawson's Creek: ...Must Come to an End (#6.24)" (2003)
Doug Witter: [Doug walks up to Jack, who is sitting on the beach with baby Amy asleep in a carriage next to him] Gram said you were here. Just thinking?
Jack: Capeside's favorite pastime.
Doug Witter: What about?
Jack: Moving.
Doug Witter: Moving? Where?
Jack: I don't know. Boston. New York.
Doug Witter: Why?
Jack: Amy.
Doug Witter: Jack, you can't do that.
Jack: Yes I can. How many gay parents do you know in Capeside?
Doug Witter: So? How many gay teachers were there, before you came back? How many gay sheriffs are there, for that matter?
Jack: Last time I checked, none. I'm tired of being first, Doug. Half my life has been about reeducating this community, and what do I have to show for it?
Doug Witter: You think there are prizes for inspiring people?
Jack: I don't want to inspire people any more. All I want to do is give Amy a normal existence, and she's not going to get that here. She's gonna have the same childhood that I did, only instead of being the only gay kid, she's gonna be the only kid with a gay parent. I don't want that.
Doug Witter: You're going to be a gay parent no matter where you are. And yeah-Amy is going to face rejection. That's what it means to be a teenager.
Jack: I just want to be a good parent. I have to be.
Doug Witter: Hey. Jack. Being a good parent means knowing that your child is bound to fall down. And you just have to show 'em how to get back up.
Jack: What do you know about parenting?
Doug Witter: Not much. Hoping to learn quickly.
Jack: It's a sweet gesture, but no thank you.
Doug Witter: It's not a gesture.
Jack: Yes, it is. With everything that we've been through, I'll be damned if we're gonna get back together over your sense of... obligation, or worse, pity.
Doug Witter: Screw pity. I love you. I love you, Jack. I love that you're the bravest person I know... and the kindest. I love that no matter what you do, your life is gonna stand out. I want to stand out with you... and your daughter.
Doug Witter: If you'll let me.
[They kiss, and an elderly couple walks by]
Jack: Uh, it's the Dudleys. Right there.
Doug Witter: Evening, Mr. and Mrs. Dudley. I was just, uh, kissing my boyfriend.

"Dawson's Creek: True Love (#3.23)" (2000)
Doug Witter: Miss Potter, I clocked you going...
Joey: ...You have a radar gun?
Doug Witter: Visual assessment. You were going a good five to seven miles per hour below the posted speed limit on this particular Capeside thoroughfare.