Audrey Liddell
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Quotes for
Audrey Liddell (Character)
from "Dawson's Creek" (1998)

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"Dawson's Creek: Text, Lies and Videotape (#5.7)" (2001)
Joey: Audery, I really don't think anyone's gonna be noticing what I'm wearing.
Audrey: Okay, and where would Madonna be if she had that attitude?

Audrey: Joey, I'm having problems with the tone of my audition tape. Do I go for vixen, vamp, or all-out slut?
Joey: Well, just as long as you plan on representing all colors of the rainbow.

[looking at Audrey's audition videotape]
Audrey: [narrating to the camera] I know, great birthday present. I mean what 14-year-old wants to fend for themselves like an adult? But, I have to forgive her, I know that. 'Cause forgiving her is the only way I'm ever going to be good to anyone else. The part that is really terrifying is that I think that... I don't know, I'm like turning into her. I'm loud, shameless, bossy, and I freak people out sometimes. But I don't think I can change that. 'Cause even if I don't particually like who I am, at least I know who that is. And even if I tried to change, who the hell knows who I'll be?
[Joey exitedly rises to her feet and turns off the tape]
Audrey: What? What's wrong?
Joey: Nothing's wrong. That's great, that's it. That's the one.
Audrey: But I'm just sitting there talking to myself.
Joey: Exactly.
Audrey: But isn't it kind of cheesy and vulnerable?
Joey: No, it's you. It's the real you. That girl in the video who's not afraid to look stupid, that's the real you. And for what it's worth, I met your mom and your're nothing like her.

"Dawson's Creek: Sleeping Arrangements (#5.12)" (2002)
Audrey Liddell: Waitressing is a bitch!
[Audrey kicks off her boots, one of which hits the books on Joey's desks, knocking them all over]
Joey Potter: Nice entrance.
Audrey Liddell: Oww, my feet feels like one enormous blister.
Joey Potter: I told you not to wear those shoes.
Audrey Liddell: Okay, it's offical. You do know everything.

[Audrey collapses next to Joey in her bed]
Joey Potter: Audrey, has it escaped your attention that this is my bed?
Audrey Liddell: Can I help it that this is the one closest to the door? No.
Joey Potter: We can't both sleep here together.
Audrey Liddell: Sure we can. It'll be the most action this bed's ever seen.
Joey Potter: Well, for your information, I got asked out today.
Audrey Liddell: [gasps] Of course you said "no".
Joey Potter: Of course.
Audrey Liddell: Because your're long-suffering, insane, and fixated on Dawson?
Joey Potter: How dysfunctional do you think I am?
Audrey Liddell: About one lithium pill short of 'Girl Interrupted' status.

"Dawson's Creek: 100 Light Years from Home (#5.19)" (2002)
Pacey: So this is spring break, it doesn't really look like the brochures.
Audrey: Hey. I provided the house, you people we supposed to bring on the fun. There are some pizzas.
Joey: We could rent some movies...
Pacey: ...or play strip poker
Audrey, Joey, Jen: NO!
Pacey: Come on, its not like I haven't seen you all naked before. Ok, ok. we'll rent movies.

Audrey: That's Chris.
Joey: Chris as in...
Audrey: The one. The one I think of every time "in your eyes" comes on the radio. My perfect high school boyfriend who every boy gets compared to and who no one's lived up to yet, yep that's him, he's here... kill me now.

"Dawson's Creek: Spiderwebs (#6.8)" (2002)
Audrey Liddell: What happened between us, it's just, it's the way that the world works, ok? Pretty much all the time, girls run around and feel bad about themselves. They're either too weak or too stupid to go home alone. So, sometimes guys just win the lottery. That's it. It doesn't mean anything.

"Dawson's Creek: Cigarette Burns (#5.18)" (2002)
Audrey: I've slept with 27 people.
Film Geek: [overhearing] Rock and roll.

"Dawson's Creek: The Lost Weekend (#5.2)" (2001)
Dawson Leery: Sometimes I think it's a curse to have all these great friends from High School. If all you had was four years of unabated misery, you'd have nobody to miss. Everybody you'd meet would be a pleasant surprise, as opposed to...
Audrey Liddell: ...a total, complete letdown compared to the people you already know.

"Dawson's Creek: Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) (#5.20)" (2002)
[the girls are woken by singing]
Audrey: It sounds like a cat dying.
Joey: I think it's music.
[they realize it's Charlie serenading Joey]
Audrey: Could he be any cuter?
Joey: No, but he could be more in tune.
Audrey: It's like that movie "You make me want to be a better man"
Joey: Wouldn't the world thank me more if I made him want to be a better singer?
Audrey: OK, it's official, you are the Queen of All Negativity. There will be a crowning ceremony later today.

"Dawson's Creek: The Kids Are Alright (#6.1)" (2002)
Audrey Liddell: You think we should wake him?
Pacey Witter: Well, we should. As much as I've enjoyed his ramblings and his questionable taste in music, he has bragged about the number of times he's seen you naked.
Audrey Liddell: He has never seen me naked.
Pacey Witter: Really? He knows about the tattoo on you-know-where.
Audrey Liddell: Wake up you little pervert!
[Jack Osbourne rises from the back seat of their car]
Jack Osbourne: What the
Jack Osbourne: ?
Audrey Liddell: What's this about you seeing me naked?
Jack Osbourne: [to Pacey] What the
Jack Osbourne: did you tell her?
Pacey Witter: Only what you told me, chief.
Jack Osbourne: Oh, thanks a lot! Thanks a
Jack Osbourne: lot! I confide in you, and this is what I get?
Audrey Liddell: I'm listening, Jack.
Jack Osbourne: Well, you know that telescope in my bedroom? Well, I didn't exactly do much star gazing.
Audrey Liddell: I'm so telling your father!
Jack Osbourne: Go ahead, he had a peak too. And I might say that he was really impressed.
Audrey Liddell: Okay, then I'm telling your mother, and she's really gonna kick your ass, Jack!
Jack Osbourne: [beat] Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Out of my
Jack Osbourne: way. I gotta take a
Jack Osbourne: piss.

"Dawson's Creek: The Song Remains the Same (#6.2)" (2002)
Audrey: Joey, I am serious. E-mail expression is the scourge of the modern age. The internet has made it way too easy to express oneself. Ok, you have some fleeting thought. You send it. It lands with a thud in some unsuspecting person's mailbox. Said person then reads it, gets irked because you've recapped a conversation that you presumably already had. They fail to respond. You feel slighted. But if you must be one of these pathetic passive/aggressive e-mail types, far be it from me to stop you. What do you have so far?
Joey: Well... I had "Dear Dawson," and then I erased it.
Audrey: Why? I think that's a nice start.
Joey: I seemed cold.
Audrey: True. I mean, you did just nude-up with the guy. Oh, I'm sorry, or did you guys do it through a hole in a sheet because that's very Dawson and Joey to me.