Joey Potter
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Quotes for
Joey Potter (Character)
from "Dawson's Creek" (1998)

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"Dawson's Creek: Double Date (#1.10)" (1998)
Dr. Rand: I'd like you to meet your new lab partner.
Joey: Him?
Pacey: Her? Dr. Rand, I'd like to lodge a formal protest. You never told me I was going to be working with a repressed control freak.
Joey: Yeah, and you never said my grade was dependent upon some remedial underachiever.
Dr. Rand: I see introductions are unnecessary.

Joey: Let me get this straight. You've tried to create some sort of a snail menage-a-trois?
Pacey: Well, it sounds stupid when you say it out loud, but I just saw this really pretty snail in the tank over by the window, and I don't know. Last night it just seemed really brilliant.
Joey: Let me fill ya in on something here. You know this pretty little snail over here by the window? It's what you call a carnivorous snail, and do you know what carnivorous snails eat?
Pacey: Other snails.
Joey: Yeah, other snails. Other snails such as our snails, such as the snails we are desperately relying on to raise our marine biology grades.

Pacey: Please, summer school?
Joey: Yeah.
Pacey: It'll never happen. Only morons go to summer school.
Joey: Oh yeah? Well, the last time I checked you were pulling a stellar F-minus, so without this extra-credit project, Pacey, I'm very well certain that your grade will not only place you squarely among the morons, but you may very well be their leader.

Joey: Wait a second. You're taking romantic advice from a guy who spent his evening trying to get 3 snails to sleep together?

Joey: You take one more step in this direction and I can almost guarantee you a permanent disability.

Pacey: Amazing. Personality like yours and you still can't get any dates.
Joey: Even more amazing, personality like yours and you can.

"Dawson's Creek: Escape from Witch Island (#3.7)" (1999)
Jennifer "Jen" Lindley: I say witch is just a buzzword. For a girl who happens to follow her completely healthy, totally natural urges, and explore her sexuality. But see, you can't do that in school in the swingin' 1690's without getting the good townsfolk all up in arms. So what do these puritanical, impotent creeps do? Instead of reaching for the Viagra, they brand these girls as witches, they send them off to this godforsaken island to die a horrible solitary death.
Joey: Well, lucky for you, Jen - I mean, we live in a world where you can follow your natural urges without fear of persecution.
Jennifer "Jen" Lindley: You're right. I would've been so burned at the stake by now.

Dawson: Hey, once upon a time, you yourself told me that some love stories never end. What happened to that girl?
Joey: She offered herself to the boy she loved. The boy she thought loved her back. And he rejected her.

Joey: Serves me right for being THAT girl.
Dawson: What girl?
Joey: That girl who tries to rent the movie the night before an all-important paper is due because her debilitating attention deficit disorder's gotten in the way of her actually reading the book.

Joey: Dawson, you can't just will a friendship into existence.

Joey: Well, you know, if I blow off the paper, then I'll probably fail the class, and if I fail the class, well, that could be the beginning of a long and tragic downward spiral that dooms me to wait the tables of Capeside's greasy spoons for eternity, so... count me in.

Dawson: If he did meet somebody else and forgot about her than obviously they were never meant to be in the first place. See my point?
Joey: Could you be any more naive?
Dawson: Could you be any more cynical?
Jennifer "Jen" Lindley: Could you be any more irritating?

"Dawson's Creek: Castaways (#6.15)" (2003)
Joey: You were wanting to kiss me all night?
Pacey: Yes.
Joey: Even when you were yelling at me.
Pacey: Especially when I was yelling at you.
Joey: So... is this... some sort of... recent new development in your life?
Pacey: Wanting to kiss you? No. It's sort of always there... like... white noise, or... the secret service or the threat of nuclear war, for that matter. Just somethin' you get used to.

Joey: Well, are you gonna answer that, or are we gonna finish this?
Pacey: We could live for a thousand years, and we would never finish this.

Joey: I don't know. I guess I feel different. Like... I've always had this tendency to assume that change, when it happens, can only be for the worse. You know? And lately, I kinda feel like that's not true... like whatever's waiting for me out there... may not be that bad. And even if it is... then not knowing about it... might actually be the good part.

Joey: [to Pacey] Just because I've never done it before doesn't mean I'm not gonna be good at it. I was good at sex, wasn't I?

Pacey: I don't know. But... you remember how you said you were willing to be surprised by the future?
Joey: Yeah.
Pacey: Surprise.

"Dawson's Creek: Pilot (#1.1)" (1998)
Joey: Dawson, how many times a week do you walk your dog?
Dawson: What?
Joey: Oh c'mon, you know what I mean.
Dawson: Good night Joey.
Joey: Dawson...
Dawson: Good Night Joey.
Joey: Good night Dawson.
Dawson: Joey. Usually in the morning, with Katie Couric.

Joey: We're growing up, that's all. I mean even Spielberg outgrew his Peter Pan syndrome.

Dawson: What is your problem?
Joey: My problem is that from the moment Little Miss Highlights showed up, you haven't said one word to me.

Joey: I just think our emerging hormones are destined to alter our relationship and I'm trying to limit the fallout.

"Dawson's Creek: Beauty Contest (#1.12)" (1998)
Joey: I'd like to tell today's youth that no matter where life takes you, big cities, small towns, you'll inevitably come across small minds. People who think that they're better than you are. People who think that material things, or being pretty or popular automatically makes you a worth while human being. I'd like to tell today's youth that none of these things matter unless you have strength of character, integrity, sense of pride, and if you're lucky enough to have any of these things... don't ever sell them. Don't ever sell out. So when you meet a person for the first time, please don't judge them by their station on life, because, who knows, that person just might end up being your best friend. Thank you.

Joey: People change, Dawson.
Dawson: They don't have to.
Joey: Yes, they do. People die, and they move away... and they grow up, Dawson. Everything changes eventually.

Joey: Everything changes eventually. That's just the way life is and you have no control over it. Like suddenly people who you think are always going to be there, they disappear. You know? People die and they move away and they grow up.

Joey: I thought that this is what I wanted. For you to see me as beautiful. For you to look at me the way you look at Jen. But the truth is, that's not really what I want at all. I want you to look at me and see the person that you've always known and realize that what we've had is so much more incredible than just some passing physical attraction. 'Cause you know what? It's just make-up - and hairspray - and tomorrow I'll be back to being Joey. Just Joey. The too tall girl that lives on the wrong side of the creek

"Dawson's Creek: ...Must Come to an End (#6.24)" (2003)
Joey: What's going on in that head of yours?
Pacey: You're off the hook.
Joey: What?
Pacey: You're off the hook. I've never had much faith in that whole "if you love someone, set them free" crap, as evidenced by everything I've done in my life up until this very moment, but I am determined to be happy, Joey, happy in this life. And I love you. I have always, always loved you, but our timing has just never been right. And the way I figure it, time is no man's friend. Well, I have to get right with that and be happy now. Because this is it, this is all we got. If there's one thing that I've learned from losing Jen, that's what I've learned.
Joey: Pace, I...
Pacey: Actually, hold on, I'm not done yet, because I also want for you to be happy. So I want you to be with someone, whether it be Dawson or New York guy or some man you haven't even met yet, but I want you to be with someone who can be a part of the life that you want for yourself. I want you to be with someone who makes you feel the way I feel when I'm with you. So, I guess the point of this long run-on sentence that's been the last 10 years of our lives is that the simple act of being in love with you is enough for me. So you're off the hook.
Joey: You know what, for the record, I don't want to be let off the hook. Because everything I have done has led me here, right now, and the last thing I want is to be let off somebody's hook.
Pacey: Don't miss my point here...
Joey: And don't miss mine. Pacey, I love you. You know that. And it's very real. It's so real that it's kept me moving, mostly running from it, never ready for it. And I love Dawson. He's my soul mate. He's tied to my childhood, and it's a love that is pure and eternally innocent. I can't be let off the hook because I just might get the notion that it's OK to keep running.

Dawson: Life has no opposite.
Joey: I never thought of it that way.
Dawson: Well, leave it to me to overthink it.
Joey: You are the writer.
Dawson: This writer has decided it doesn't matter how it ends. Because fiction is fiction. For the first time in a long time, my life is real. It doesn't matter who ends up with who. In some unearthly way, it's always gonna be you and me.
Joey: It's always.
Dawson: What we have goes beyond friendship, beyond lovers. It's forever.
Joey: Yes it is. I love you, Dawson.
Dawson: I love you too, Joey.
Lilly Leery: [Scene: cut in, showing Alexander climbing a ladder and Lily standing at a window in the Leery house. Reminiscent of Joey and Dawson's childhood] Come on Alexander, only a few more steps, you can do it!
Joey: You and me always.
Dawson: Always.

Joey: There's so much, Dawson. Both good times and bad. When I loved you, you loved Jen. When you loved me, I needed to be my on my own. So I left you for Jack. I didn't realize he was gay.
Dawson: And then I convinced you to turn your dad in for trafficking cocaine. You said you'd never speak to me again.
Joey: But I did. I offered myself to you at that party after you crashed your dad's boat.
Dawson: And I refused for some reason. So you feel for Pacey.
Joey: While you were losing your virginity to Jen.
Dawson: And then finally, we slept together.
Joey: Only to get into a fight the day after, thus ruining everything we've waited so long for.
Dawson: And then I dated an actress, you dated that Eddie guy.
Joey: And years passed, until finally, here we are.

Joey: Dreams aren't perfect, Dawson. They come true, not free.

"Dawson's Creek: The Longest Day (#3.20)" (2000)
Joey: [voice-over] Ever had one of those days you wish you could live all over again?

Joey: So what's the problem?
Andie: He's... He's not Pacey. Pathetic. I know. I know. And I thought I was over him. I really, really did. But then I bumped into him a little while ago, and... I mean, technically we're friends, right? And that's how I played it. But then it's, like, when I saw him, every irritating/adorable thing he ever did flashed before my eyes, and... I mean, that's the true test, right? When you just bump into somebody... And if you're not over him, then boom - floodgates.

Joey: I just wish I were more like you. You feel things, you act on them. Pacey's like that, too. Fearless.
Jen: I'll let you in on a little secret about the so-called fearless: We're not as tough as you think we are. Pacey's heart is just as breakable as the next guy's... maybe even more so, considering it was already broken when you got there.

"Dawson's Creek: 100 Light Years from Home (#5.19)" (2002)
Pacey: So this is spring break, it doesn't really look like the brochures.
Audrey: Hey. I provided the house, you people we supposed to bring on the fun. There are some pizzas.
Joey: We could rent some movies...
Pacey: ...or play strip poker
Audrey, Joey, Jen: NO!
Pacey: Come on, its not like I haven't seen you all naked before. Ok, ok. we'll rent movies.

Audrey: That's Chris.
Joey: Chris as in...
Audrey: The one. The one I think of every time "in your eyes" comes on the radio. My perfect high school boyfriend who every boy gets compared to and who no one's lived up to yet, yep that's him, he's here... kill me now.

Joey: So, you're a stalker now?
Charlie: Ugh, stalker. I prefer to think of myself as doggedly persistent.
Joey: Well you got the dog part right.

"Dawson's Creek: A Winter's Tale (#4.14)" (2001)
Gretchen: Senior ski trip is a Capeside rite of passage, absolutely guaranteed to be chock-full of the cruel and unusual.
Joey: Well, knowing our class, I highly doubt it.
Gretchen: Well, let's just say when I went, somebody got pregnant, somebody got arrested, and this one girl's hair caught on fire.
Pacey: Joey'll probably keep me out of jail and Lamaze, and I guess I'll watch out for your hair.

Jack: Did it ever occur to you that you're so caught up in trying to make the right choice that you've never stopped to consider the possibility that there may not be a right choice, or a wrong choice, just a bunch of choices?
Joey: Thanks, Jack. That's helpful.
Jack: That's the point. You don't need help. There's nothing to figure out here. There's only what you feel.
Joey: What I feel is fear.
Jack: I'm not telling you to sleep with Pacey...
Joey: But...
Jack: All the really exciting things in life require more courage than we currently have. A deep breath and a leap. See, Joey, the kind of fear you're talking about... sometimes it's how you know what's worthwhile.

Joey: Really? Virtually topless female comes knocking on our door, asking if Pacey can come out to play, and you don't have any comment?
Pacey: Well, no matter what I say, you're just gonna take it wrong.

"Dawson's Creek: True Love (#3.23)" (2000)
Joey: I think I love you
Pacey: You think, or you know?
Joey: I know

Doug Witter: Miss Potter, I clocked you going...
Joey: ...You have a radar gun?
Doug Witter: Visual assessment. You were going a good five to seven miles per hour below the posted speed limit on this particular Capeside thoroughfare.

Joey: I expected you to say good-bye.
Pacey: Right. The good-bye scene. I come to you, heart in hand, and announce my plans. You stare at me, pained. But then the Potter sarcasm kicks in. And I walk off, never getting what I came for.

"Dawson's Creek: Text, Lies and Videotape (#5.7)" (2001)
Joey: Audery, I really don't think anyone's gonna be noticing what I'm wearing.
Audrey: Okay, and where would Madonna be if she had that attitude?

Audrey: Joey, I'm having problems with the tone of my audition tape. Do I go for vixen, vamp, or all-out slut?
Joey: Well, just as long as you plan on representing all colors of the rainbow.

[looking at Audrey's audition videotape]
Audrey: [narrating to the camera] I know, great birthday present. I mean what 14-year-old wants to fend for themselves like an adult? But, I have to forgive her, I know that. 'Cause forgiving her is the only way I'm ever going to be good to anyone else. The part that is really terrifying is that I think that... I don't know, I'm like turning into her. I'm loud, shameless, bossy, and I freak people out sometimes. But I don't think I can change that. 'Cause even if I don't particually like who I am, at least I know who that is. And even if I tried to change, who the hell knows who I'll be?
[Joey exitedly rises to her feet and turns off the tape]
Audrey: What? What's wrong?
Joey: Nothing's wrong. That's great, that's it. That's the one.
Audrey: But I'm just sitting there talking to myself.
Joey: Exactly.
Audrey: But isn't it kind of cheesy and vulnerable?
Joey: No, it's you. It's the real you. That girl in the video who's not afraid to look stupid, that's the real you. And for what it's worth, I met your mom and your're nothing like her.

"Dawson's Creek: Stolen Kisses (#3.19)" (2000)
Joey: Then why did you come here, Pacey?
Pacey: You know, for a bright girl, you can be really daft sometimes. Why do you think I came here? I came here to be with you! It's as simple as that. I mean, when you like somebody, proximity is a good thing, regardless of how they feel about you. Or don't, as the case may be.
[starts to walk away]
Joey: But I felt it.
Pacey: [stops and turns] What?
Joey: This morning. Your arm brushed up against me in bed, and... And I felt it.
Pacey: How did it feel?
Joey: Made me feel alive.
Pacey: Ok. Joey... I'm going to kiss you now.
Joey: You can't.
Pacey: [starts to slowly walk toward her] Jo, you can't say something like that to me and expect me not to kiss you, so that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna kiss you in about 10 seconds. And if you don't want me to kiss you... Well, if you don't want me to, I guess then you're just gonna have to stop me. 10.
[kisses her]

Dawson: Growing up does not have to equal growing apart.
Joey: Somehow it does.

Pacey: I can't keep kissing you, Joey.
Joey: What do you mean?
Pacey: I mean just that. *I* can't keep kissing *you.* I've done it twice now. I can't be the one always initiating things. I can't be the one always giving you the answers. Look at me.
Joey: I can't.
Pacey: Please. If you felt one shred of what I'm feeling for you, we wouldn't be standing here having this conversation.
[starts to walk away]
Joey: [grabs his hand] Pacey
[turns around and starts kissing him]

"Dawson's Creek: The Kiss (#2.1)" (1998)
Joey: Naah, I think I'm going to stay in and watch TV tonight. I hear Luke Perry's back on 90210.

Bessie Potter: The way I see it, the second kiss is always tougher then the first one.
Joey: We actually kissed more than once that night.
Bessie Potter: Yeah, but it only counts as one, and that first kiss? It's the passionate one. It's the one fueled by desire and attraction and all that. Well, the second kiss is rational. You've got time to think about it, to worry and overanalyze. Most women, they prefer that first kiss... but I'm partial to the second one because it's about something more. You'll get that second kiss, Joey, and when you do, it'll be great. It'll be real. It'll be meaningful.

"Dawson's Creek: Sleeping Arrangements (#5.12)" (2002)
Audrey Liddell: Waitressing is a bitch!
[Audrey kicks off her boots, one of which hits the books on Joey's desks, knocking them all over]
Joey Potter: Nice entrance.
Audrey Liddell: Oww, my feet feels like one enormous blister.
Joey Potter: I told you not to wear those shoes.
Audrey Liddell: Okay, it's offical. You do know everything.

[Audrey collapses next to Joey in her bed]
Joey Potter: Audrey, has it escaped your attention that this is my bed?
Audrey Liddell: Can I help it that this is the one closest to the door? No.
Joey Potter: We can't both sleep here together.
Audrey Liddell: Sure we can. It'll be the most action this bed's ever seen.
Joey Potter: Well, for your information, I got asked out today.
Audrey Liddell: [gasps] Of course you said "no".
Joey Potter: Of course.
Audrey Liddell: Because your're long-suffering, insane, and fixated on Dawson?
Joey Potter: How dysfunctional do you think I am?
Audrey Liddell: About one lithium pill short of 'Girl Interrupted' status.

"Dawson's Creek: Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road (#6.21)" (2003)
[Joey steps in the middle between Dawson and Pacey about to exchanges punches at each other]
Joey Potter: That's enough, both of you! I can't stand to see any of you like this. Just back off!
Dawson: [to Pacey] Fine! Just go. Get the hell out of here, Pacey, and take the spector of failure and bad luck with you before you rub more of it off on me or Joey. Get out my sight! I don't even want to look at you!
Pacey Witter: [somber tone] I didn't mean to lose all your money, Dawson. I had no idea something like that would happen. I'm sorry.
Dawson: So am I, Pacey. So am I.

Pacey Witter: Dawson, there's something I need to tell you. It... oh boy. This is bad. We were so getting back to becoming friends again. It's a shame to ruin our friendship this way.
Dawson: What are you talking about? What would ruin our friendship?
Pacey Witter: Money, Dawson. That's what would ruin it.
Dawson: What happened?
Pacey Witter: [sighs] It's gone, Dawson. It's all gone. Every cent. Your money is gone. My money is gone. Some guy on Long Island money is gone.
Dawson: What do you mean "gone"? Pacey, that was all the money I had!
Pacey Witter: I know. Those bio-tech stocks that I put it all in... I-I don't know how this happened. I really thought Stepavich would take off. Everyone was saying that it was the sure thing. Some FDA announcement came back the day before yesterday at finding some side effects that it's wonder drug had on test subjects. The whole company is in bankrupcy. The stock is worthless. From 80-per-share to zero in a...
Joey Potter: [shocked and angry] Not again. Pacey, not again with you!
Dawson: [also shocked and angry] Oh, yeah right... right! Typical, so typical! Why else would you... Pacey! Why did you bluntly ignore my request to sell the stock on the day before this FDA annoucement was to take place?
Pacey Witter: I don't know. I was trying to do the right thing. I thought it would double or triple in value when...
Dawson: [interupting] Oh Jesus... God, Pacey! It's the same damn story with you! You ALWAYS try to do the right thing! But no matter how hard you try to help others or yourself, you don't have the intelligence or the common sense to see all the pieces of the puzzle. You never did. And you probally never will! God, of all the the countless times you let me down, screwed me over, you really did it this time!
Pacey Witter: Now wait a minute. Need I remind you that you came to me with your dream. I didn't approach you. You approached me. You were the one that took the chance. You wanted me to help you with your dream of being a great film maker. You gave me your money to help you double it and to finance your movie. Yet again, this boils down to the fact that "I" screwed your over? If that's not a typical reaction on your part, then what is?

"Dawson's Creek: The Anti-Prom (#3.22)" (2000)
Pacey: See this? This is you. It's not showy or gaudy. It's simple. Elegant. Beautiful.
Joey: It's my mom's bracelet.
Pacey: I know.
Joey: How do you know?
Pacey: Well, because you told me. Six months ago. You were wearing that blue sweater with the snowflakes that you have. You were walking down the hallway at school. I was annoying you as per usual. You said, "Look, Pacey, I just found my mother's bracelet this morning, so why don't you cut me some slack?"
Joey: You remember that?
Pacey: I remember everything.

Dawson: I am well aware of the Potter neuroses.
Joey: I prefer to think of them as quirks.

"Dawson's Creek: Decisions (#1.13)" (1998)
Joey: I'm so tired of dancing around these big words... I just want to be honest with you... more that anything I want to be honest with you. But, do you think we're ready for that honesty? Because honesty is a big word and it changes things, and it complicates things. Are you sure you're ready for everything that goes along with telling the truth?

Joey: Do you really love me though? Because I'm 15 years old and I go through every day of my life thinking that nobody loves me.

"Dawson's Creek: Four to Tango (#3.9)" (1999)
Pacey: It seems to me that under the previous regimes in my life, every time I was studying, I was given a reward.
Joey: I offered you Chex Mix.
Pacey: And I'm not talkin' about Chex Mix. I'm talking about Tamara, and I'm talking about Andie. Let's just say that those 2 ladies, they trained me to equate studying with...
Joey: With what?
Pacey: Sex. I equate studying with sex, sex with studying. Now I get the studying, but no sex, you understand? So it's a little hard to get motivated these days.
Joey: So what you're saying is you're merely the innocent victim in some behavioral psychology experiment gone horribly awry.
Pacey: Yeah.
Joey: And you're desperately in need of some able-bodied female to help you provoke those pre-conditioned Pavlovian homework responses?
Pacey: Yes.
Joey: That is the worst pick-up line I have ever heard, Pacey.

Joey: You never look back, do you?
Pacey: Why would you look back? The future's out there. And whatever it is, it's gonna be great.

"Dawson's Creek: The Dance (#2.6)" (1998)
Andie: You guys are a bunch of cynics, you know that? I mean, what kind of high school memories will you have if all you did in high school was bitch and moan about everything?
Joey: Bitching memories.
Dawson: Moaning memories.

Joey: For so long all I've thought about was you, all I dreamed about was you...
Dawson: What happened?
Joey: I got my dream, and now I don't have anything else.

"Dawson's Creek: Be Careful What You Wish For (#2.16)" (1999)
Dawson: [Drunk] Time to make a wish? Time to make a wish, okay. I wish... I wish my mom never slept with her co-anchor. I wish that my father... would stop talking about getting a job and actually go out and get one... heh, heh... and I wish that the two of you would stop your petty bickering and at least pretend to be the adults around here. I wish that my best friend, Pacey, would just end this transformation into a do-gooder, "A" student, and all-around sanctimonious teen angel and just go back to do what he does best, which is make me feel good about my life because his is supposed to be worse! And there's Jen Lindley with her drunkenness and revolving boyfriends and her wild, wicked ways. I wanna party with you. Ah, and there's Jack McPhee - Jack McPhee, who likes guys, but doesn't mind stealing my girlfriend, tonight, ladies and gentlemen, starring in his very own version of "In and Out".
Dawson: He's in. He's out! He's in. He's out! He's in. He's out! In, out. Nice hair, by the way. Heh, heh, heh... And then of course, there's my Joey. My sweet... precious Joey... the only 16-year old in the world who needed to find herself. You - You know what? That's - That's okay. I accept that. You need to find yourself... and I accept it.
[Looks around]
Dawson: Right? So, Joey? J-J-Joey? Wh-where's - ? Where's my - ? Excuse me. Joey? Joey? Joey? Excuse me, Mom.
[Gets down on his knees and looks under the table]
Dawson: Joey, are you - ?
[Gets back up]
Dawson: Joey? Joey?
Dawson: There she is. There she is. It's my Joey. Joey!
[Grabs Joey and kisses her]
Joey: Cut it out, Dawson!
[Pushes Dawson away, and Dawson lands face-down on his birthday cake]

Joey: It was never about finding something better, Dawson. It was about finding someone who wasn't so close to me. So that I could tell where I ended and he began. In many ways, I feel like you've partially invented me, Dawson. And that scares me so much.

"Dawson's Creek: Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) (#5.20)" (2002)
Joey: All I really know about you and your childhood is that you used to play with Barbie dolls.
Charlie: OK, it wasn't a doll, It was... ok so maybe it was. But Barbie looks really hot naked.
Joey: Whatever you say.

[the girls are woken by singing]
Audrey: It sounds like a cat dying.
Joey: I think it's music.
[they realize it's Charlie serenading Joey]
Audrey: Could he be any cuter?
Joey: No, but he could be more in tune.
Audrey: It's like that movie "You make me want to be a better man"
Joey: Wouldn't the world thank me more if I made him want to be a better singer?
Audrey: OK, it's official, you are the Queen of All Negativity. There will be a crowning ceremony later today.

"Dawson's Creek: Coming Home (#4.1)" (2000)
Pacey Witter: We don't have to go home. We survived for the past three months taking odd jobs. We can survive as long as we want, just as long as we're happy.
Joey Potter: Pacey, if you're so serious about this, why bring it up now... two hours from home?
Pacey Witter: Twelve hours from home. I think we should probably drop anchor here, have a bite to eat, and then we can debate whether to scrap this whole mission home.
Joey Potter: No, I don't believe you Pacey Witter. As truant as your natural instincts may be, you'd never really suggest that we skip our senior year of high school entirely?
Pacey Witter: Just what would we be missing from the land of poorly scripted melodramas? Recycled plot lines, tiresome self-realizations. You throw in the occasional downward spiral of a dear friend, and maybe baby here and a death there, and all you really got is a recipe for some soul-sucking, mind-numbing, ennui. And I for one could skip it.

Joey: You got me, Jen. We did it. All day, all night. Twenty-four-seven. Are you aware that there are at least thirty-eight known different sexual positions? Forty-two if you're flexible enough.

"Dawson's Creek: Separation Anxiety (#4.21)" (2001)
[Dawson and Joey are having an open, honest conversation, just like old times]
Joey: So what are you doing this summer, Dawson?
Dawson: This.

Pacey: ...This is... this is your life, and you should enjoy it.
Joey: How can I enjoy it without you?

"Dawson's Creek: Kiss (#1.3)" (1998)
Anderson: My name's Anderson, Anderson Crawford.
Joey: Congratulations.
Anderson: So, you come with a name or just an attitude?
Joey: Just an attitude.
Anderson: And people find this charming?
Joey: I haven't asked.

Joey: Clap hard, Dawson, you may be Tinkerbell's last hope.

"Dawson's Creek: Late (#4.19)" (2001)
Joey: I mean, how many truly great days are we gonna have in our lives?
Dawson: I don't know. Who knows how many you get? When they do happen to come along, though, I hope you're close by, at least for a few of 'em.

"Dawson's Creek: The All-Nighter (#2.7)" (1998)
Pacey: Alrighty. Question #1: "Have you ever been intimately aroused by a relative?" So, it's a southern test, huh?
Jen: #13: "Have you ever experimented with bondage?"
Joey: Joey: "Have you ever gotten cozy in an airplane?"
Andie: "... in a public place?"
Chris Wolfe: "... in your parent's bed?"
Dawson: "Have you ever caught your parents having sex?"
Pacey: #63: "Have you ever named your most private of regions?"
Jen: #69 *Everyone laughing* "Have you ever participated in..."
Joey: "Have you ever engaged in sexual activity with a member of the same sex?"
Andie: "... with a transvestite?"
Pacey: "... with a 4-legged creature?"
Dawson: "Have you ever paid for sex?"
Chris Wolfe: Does dinner count?
Andie: Question #84: "Have you ever fantasized about a friend's significant other?" *Silent* Very quiet in the room all of a sudden.
Jen: "Have you ever had an affair with a friend's significant other?"
Chris Wolfe: In my fantasy.
Pacey: Give me this. *takes magazine* "Have you ever had an affair with a friend's pet?" How come I get all the animal questions?
Joey: Okay, #100: *pauses* "Have you ever been in love? If so, how many times? Give yourself a point of purity for each time." *Joey looks at Dawson.*
Andie: Okay, let's score 'em up! Everybody ready?

"Dawson's Creek: Uncharted Waters (#2.12)" (1999)
[the girls are watching a porno video found in Dawson's room]
Abby: You are aware that where this tape begins, Dawson finished.
Andie: Finished what?
Jen: Shaking hands with the unemployed.
Joey: Boxing the bald-headed bishop.
Abby: Test-firing the missile.
Andie: All right, I get your point, guys.

"Dawson's Creek: Detention (#1.7)" (1998)
Dawson Leery: This is so Breakfast Club!
Jen: Breakfast Club?
Dawson Leery: You know, the John Hughes movie where five kids are stuck in detention all day?
Joey Potter: Yeah, in the beginning they hate each other, and then by the end they're best friends.
Jen: Oh yeah. God, that movie stunk! Whatever happened to those actors?
Dawson Leery: Well, Anthony Michael Hall developed some weird thyroid condition, Molly Ringwald lost her gawky ingenue appeal, and the rest are languishing somewhere in TV hell.
Pacey: No way, man! Emilio Estivez was in those duck movies. Those were classic. So funny!
[Jen, Dawson and Joey stare at him blankly]
Pacey: What?

"Dawson's Creek: The Unusual Suspects (#4.8)" (2000)
[Joey runs into Drue who's just been suspended from school after being framed for a prank]
Drue Valentine: Hey, Potter. Send a message to the boys for me. Tell them that I admire the brilliance of their design. No, wait. Just tell them that I said "touché."
Joey: Which boys? Who are you talking about?
[Drue is suddenly being forcibly escorted from the school building]
Joey: Drue, what's going on? What happened?
Drue Valentine: Karma... finally caught up with me.

"Dawson's Creek: Boyfriend (#1.8)" (1998)
Joey: I need to rent the English Patient.
Pacey: May I please suggest something that doesn't completely blow.

"Dawson's Creek: The Importance of Not Being Too Earnest (#6.3)" (2002)
Joey: I'm not a quitter.
Prof. Greg Hetson: [cynical tone] People love saying that. It's like they saw it in some movie once and they liked the way it sounded.

"Dawson's Creek: Joey Potter and Capeside Redemption (#6.22)" (2003)
Joey: [voiceover] And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do. 'Cause there are things I wanna tell her... to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey, and Dawson. These people who contributed to who I am, they are with me wherever I go, and as history gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Because the truth is... it was the best of times. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memory now. How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good? Maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives that we will never forget. I can't swear this is exactly how it happened. But this is how it felt.

"Dawson's Creek: In a Lonely Place (#5.16)" (2002)
Joey: So what is the best ending in all of literature? Don't say Ulysses. Everyone says Ulysses.
Professor David Wilder: That's easy. Sentimental Education by Flaubert.
Joey: And what happens?
Professor David Wilder: Nothing, really. Just two old friends sitting around remembering the best thing that never happened to them.
Joey: How do you remember something that never happened?
Professor David Wilder: Fondly. You see, Flaubert believed that anticipation was the purest form of pleasure... and the most reliable. And while the things that actually happen to you would invariable disappoint, the things that never happened to you would never dim, never fade. They would always be engraved in your heart with a sort of... sweet sadness.
Joey: That sounds...
Professor David Wilder: Deep?
Joey: Cowardly.

"Dawson's Creek: Four Stories (#4.15)" (2001)
Dawson: Jo, you're not a bad friend. I don't get to say it much anymore, but... You're my best friend. You always were. No matter where you are, no matter where your life may take you, and no matter who you're with...
Joey: You'll always have a piece of my heart.
Dawson: Something like that.
Joey: Yeah. Doesn't have to be a huge piece.
Dawson: No, no, no, no. Not a huge piece. Just enough. You know, tiny piece.

"Dawson's Creek: Crime & Punishment (#3.15)" (2000)
Joey: Well, Principal Green said the mural should focus on what unifies us as a school. And if you think about it, nothing really unifies us. Even our mascot is divisive. The Minute Man - right there you've alienated half the student population. So, the only thing that I could think of that unites us all, that we all have in common, is that... well it's that we all start off in kindergarten thinking that we can be anything that we want to be, and by the time we get here, we... we've somehow lost that feeling. We've all started to believe whatever our parents or friends have told us about what we can achieve and who we can be in life, and... and we've forgotten about that possibility we had when we were younger. And that's what I think we all have in common, and that's what the symbol on my painting means - possibility. I painted it because I thought we could all use a daily reminder that, if you believe in yourself, even when the odds seem stacked against you, anything's possible.

"Dawson's Creek: Guerilla Filmmaking (#5.14)" (2002)
Charlie: Contrary to popular opinion, I may not actually be the devil.
Joey: Don't get ahead of yourself.

"Dawson's Creek: Cinderella Story (#3.17)" (2000)
Joey: Dawson, don't you ever wonder where this is going, where we are exactly? I mean, is this just the first act or is our story ended and we're just too stupid to realize it?

"Dawson's Creek: Hurricane (#1.5)" (1998)
Joey: Hang on Dawson, it's going to be a bumpy life.

"Dawson's Creek: Homecoming (#3.2)" (1999)
Joey: So we're friends, and then we're a couple. And then friends again, and then we're a couple.
Dawson: So?
Joey: So what are we now?
Dawson: Dawson and Joey.
Joey: Do you think every Joey has a Dawson and every Dawson has a Joey?
Dawson: I hope so. For their sake.

"Dawson's Creek: All Good Things... (#6.23)" (2003)
Dawson: Best thing we can do is just be ourselves, carry on in our typical, usual, distracting...
Pacey: Sordid love triangle ways.
Dawson: [Laughs] Leave it up to you to say the most inappropriate thing possible.
Pacey: Aw, I'm always dependable, my friend.
Joey: So very not funny.
[Cell phone rings]
Joey: Hi, Christopher.
Dawson: And the triangle becomes a square.
Pacey: Well put.

"Dawson's Creek: Failing Down (#4.2)" (2000)
Pacey: You love me.
Joey: You bug me.

"Dawson's Creek: That Was Then (#6.16)" (2003)
Prof. Greg Hetson: Look, I don't feel right about unleashing Harley on you, but she's been extra loopy these days. I think it's drugs.
Joey Potter: It's called hormones. I wouldn't worry about it.
Prof. Greg Hetson: I'm very worried about her. She's got posters of boys on the ceiling above her bed. Why there, Potter? What purpose do you suppose those pictures would serve in that particular location?
Joey Potter: Professor Hetson, Harley is completely normal. One might even wonder that she's a cliche.
Prof. Greg Hetson: I don't like the sound of a "normal" girl. I corrupted a lot of those. They will do anything to not be normal. I want her to be a lot more like you, anxious, bookish, prone to having boyfriends dump you and moving far, far away.
Joey Potter: [annoyed] Thank you for the reminder.
Prof. Greg Hetson: So, no boys at the house, or calling the house, or slowing down while walking by the house.
Joey Potter: You better watch it. Sexual deviation may not be on Harley's mind. But if you keep being this strict with her she might realize that there's something fun and naughty she's apparently missing.

"Dawson's Creek: Like a Virgin (#3.1)" (1999)
Dawson: Yeah. Less than a week into Junior year and already my life's in complete and utter upheaval.
Joey: Then I'm probably the last person you want to see.
Dawson: You're a lot of things, Joey. You're never the last person I want to see.

"Dawson's Creek: Living Dead Girl (#6.6)" (2002)
Joey Potter: Look, I know that you're pissed at your dad for flaking on you. But that doesn't mean that he's a bad dad, and it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you.
Harley Hetson: No, it just means he's a dick.
Joey Potter: Harley...
Harley Hetson: Do you even like him? Sometimes, I don't see how anyone can ever like him. He's cold, intimidating, and very abrasive.
Joey Potter: True, but he's also very...
[Joey is suddenly silent and then sighs, unable find any kind words for Professor Hetson]
Harley Hetson: What? I thought so. He gets off on emotionaly hurting and breaking people down, especially women due to his divorce, failed relationships... it just... every time I'm supposed to come see him, I trick myself into thinking that it's going to be different this time. But it never is. It's always just different shades of the same abrasion and misogyny he puts out to me and any woman or girl he sees.

"Dawson's Creek: Promicide (#4.20)" (2001)
Pacey: You want me to take off the happy mask? Then happy mask is off. So, now answer me this one question Joey, why are you with me? Why are you with me? Cause I don't know why I'm still with you. I used to know, but now I don't anymore. What I do know, I feel like I'm Josephine Potter's little charity project. I feel like I'm the designated loser...
Joey: This isn't about me...
Pacey: No, it is about you. It's about you and how you make me feel when I'm with you! I feel like I'm stupid, I'm worthless, I'm never right! You know what I realize? It's not my fault! When I'm with you it's "poor Pacey, he didn't get into college," or "stupid Pacey forgot the limo, he ripped my dress, he messed up the corsage.
Joey: I told you I don't care about any of that.
Pacey: But I want you to care! I don't want you to accept it like it's supposed to be. We are not trapped on this boat. You and I are trapped in this relationship! I can't take it anymore Joey. When I'm with you, I feel like I'm nothing. That's why I flinch when you touch me. That's why I never touch you, why I never think about it. Because when I do, it just reminds me that I'm not good enough.
Joey: You done?
Pacey: No, I'm just getting started.
Joey: Well, you can stop right now. You can go to hell!

"Dawson's Creek: The Song Remains the Same (#6.2)" (2002)
Audrey: Joey, I am serious. E-mail expression is the scourge of the modern age. The internet has made it way too easy to express oneself. Ok, you have some fleeting thought. You send it. It lands with a thud in some unsuspecting person's mailbox. Said person then reads it, gets irked because you've recapped a conversation that you presumably already had. They fail to respond. You feel slighted. But if you must be one of these pathetic passive/aggressive e-mail types, far be it from me to stop you. What do you have so far?
Joey: Well... I had "Dear Dawson," and then I erased it.
Audrey: Why? I think that's a nice start.
Joey: I seemed cold.
Audrey: True. I mean, you did just nude-up with the guy. Oh, I'm sorry, or did you guys do it through a hole in a sheet because that's very Dawson and Joey to me.

"Dawson's Creek: First Encounters of the Close Kind (#3.10)" (1999)
AJ: Would it be alright if I were to, you know, phone you sometime?
Joey: It wouldn't suck.