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: [to Ilsa
] I thought I smelled a rat, but it turned out to be a mole. Ilsa
: What mole? Mr. Moseby
: Do you *own* a mirror?
: Mr. Moseby! Mr. Moseby! It's a hideous monster, and it's coming this way! Mr. Moseby
: Boys, I can assure you there are no such things as monsters. Zack Martin
: Oh, yeah? Look! Ilsa
: [enters lobby
] I'm back.
[Zach, Cody, Mr. Moseby and Carey scream
: Quick, get behind me, boys and don't look her in the mol... the eye!
[Mr. Moseby tries to hide, but ends up facing Ilsa
: Mr. Moseby. Mr. Moseby
: Ms. Schiklegoobermeyger. Ilsa
: Actually, since you had me fired from the Tipton organization, I've gotten married. Carey
: You're kidding. Ilsa
: No. My married name is Ilsa Schiklegoobermeyger-Vanhelsingdekeppeloogerhoffer. Carey
: You're kidding.
: Todd! Todd St. Mark
: London! Ilsa
: Todd! Mr. Moseby
: London! Maddie
: [London is walking down the staircase, looking at herself in the mirror, until she loses concentration and bumps into a tall, dark and handsome guy
] Hey! Would you watch where you're going?
[he picks up her mirror and gazes into his eyes romantically
] Todd St. Mark
: I am so sorry. London
: No, no, it was my fault. Todd St. Mark
: [looking at London's shiny white teeth
] Forgive me for staring, but, your teeth!
[London smiles at him
] Todd St. Mark
: They're like perfect little pearls! London
: Oh, thanks. You're kinda cute yourself... for a dentist. Todd St. Mark
: I wish! My dream is to attend the Zurich Dental Institute, and make the world safe from chronic periodontitis. London
: [smiles and gazes at him romantically, not paying attention to what he said
] I don't know what you just said, but it sounds so...
: medical! Ilsa
: [marching over to Moseby's front desk
] Moseby! Yeah, I just wanted to see if the Japanese ambassador had checked in yet. Oh wait, he couldn't have! Because he's staying at the St. Mark! Mr. Moseby
] That's impossible! He *always* stays here at the Tipton! Ilsa
: Well it seems he heard you were having a problem with cockerlockers. That's German for
[yelling out loud in front of guests
[stamps foot trying to squash them
] Mr. Moseby
: Well he must've heard *that* lie from the head cockerlocker herself! Todd St. Mark
: [sees Ilsa, gasps and hides
] It's Ilsa! London
: You know her? Todd St. Mark
: Yeah, he runs my dad's hotel across the street. If he finds out I'm here, I'll be in *big* trouble! London
: *You're* Todd St. Mark? *I'm* London Tipton! My dad hates *your* dad! Todd St. Mark
: My dad hates *your* dad! London
: We have so much in common!
[spots Todd hiding behind London
: Ooh, good hiding place. It was so hard to see you behind the 4-foot Cupie doll! You know your father doesn't approve of your dental dream. Or this *Tipton*! It is verboten! Come with me! Mach Schnell! Todd St. Mark
: But... Ilsa
: Dut, dut, dut!
[leading Todd to a military march
: Left, left,
[Todd looks at London
: Don't look back! Left, left, left!