Carey Martin
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Quotes for
Carey Martin (Character)
from "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" (2005)

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"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Doin' Time in Suite 2330 (#3.20)" (2008)
Carey Martin: [punishing Zack and Cody] I am so steamed right now, that if I were a mirror, you wouldn't see yourself!

Mr. Moseby: [after hearing Carey grounding Zack and Cody] Might I suggest 20 years on an island with boy-eating birds?
Carey Martin: You might. Odd, but you might.

Carey Martin: Apparently in your room, there's too much fun. This time, you're grounded in the living room.
Zack Martin: OK.
[switches on TV]
Carey Martin: And no TV.
[takes remote off Zack and switches TV off]
Zack Martin: Oh, man!
Cody Martin: Zack, we don't need TV or video games to entertain ourselves.
Carey Martin: And no cooking.
Cody Martin: Oh, man!

Mr. Moseby: I have often said that you that you are a terrible mother.
Carey Martin: You have?
Mr. Moseby: [pause] Maybe to other people.

Carey Martin: I am so sick of this constant cycle of breaking the rules, getting grounded, sneaking out, getting grounded, breaking the rules...
Zack Martin: Well, maybe you can break the cycle this time by not grounding us.

Carey Martin: [to Zack and Cody] That is it! You are beyond grounded. The next time you see sunlight - no, oh, actually, no! You're never going to see sunlight again! Because by the time your punishment is over, the sun will have burnt out, collapsed into a black hole and the last remnants of mankind will be living on a rusty little spaceship as the cold silence of space slowly drives them mad!
Chris Brown: I think she's halfway there!

Carey Martin: No laughing in the big house.
Zack Martin: Um, do I get a last meal?
Carey Martin: Yes, and I'm cooking it.
Zack Martin: Aren't I being punished enough?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Fairest of Them All (#1.2)" (2005)
Carey Martin: What are you guys doing tonight?
Cody Martin: Uhh...
[walks to Carey]
Cody Martin: I'm sleeping over at Tapeworm's
Carey Martin: [to Zack] And you're not?
Zack Martin: No, we had a fight.
Carey Martin: You and Tapeworm?
Zack Martin: Me and Zack.
Carey Martin: [looks at Cody] Are you wearing lipstick?
Zack Martin: See that's what the fight was about. I put lipstick on him while he was taking a nap.
Carey Martin: [to Zack] That wasn't very nice
Carey Martin: [to Cody] and that's not your shade.
Zack Martin: Told you.

Carey: What's wrong with your old bikes? They're still perfectly good.
Zack Martin: Mom, their tricycles.

Carey: [Zack is dressed as a girl to win a beauty contest] Zack, why are you wearing a skirt?
Zack Martin: I did it so we could win money for bikes.
Carey: Oh, thank goodness!

Carey: What's going on here?
Mr. Moseby: Oh, nothing out of the ordinary. Your boys are attempting to destroy my hotel, but with a new twist. One of them's wearing a dress.

Carey: I love your hair! Did you buy or lease it?
Tim: [touches hair] It was a gift.

Tim: Carey!
Carey: Tim!
Tim: Carey.
Carey: Tim.
Tim, Carey: [kissing cheeks] Mwah. Mwah.
[Tim]
Tim, Carey: You look... ugh
[taking lowering singlasses]
Tim, Carey: incredible.
Carey: I like your hair. Did you buy it or lease it?
Tim: It was a gift.
[touching hair]
Tim: Funny seeing you here.
Carey: I work here.
Tim: Good for you. There's no shame in being a maid.
[wagging finger]
Carey: Actually, I'm a headliner at this hotel. They've given a suite for me and my boys.
Tim: I heard you had kids. Don't worry, you'll get your figure back.

Bev: Miss Carey, how would you like to do a song duet with Mr. Tim?
Tim: When pigs fly.
Carey Martin: [to Tim] You fly?


"The Suite Life on Deck: Mom and Dad on Deck (#1.16)" (2009)
Kurt: Are you boys... Pardon me! Are you *men* ready for a crazy guys' weekend?
Zack Martin, Cody Martin: Oh, yeah!
Kurt: Nothing but late nights, piles of junk food...
Zack Martin: Mmm!
Kurt: ...hanging out by the pool, scoping out the hot...
Zack Martin, Cody Martin: [On seeing Carey walk in] Mom?
Kurt: Hot moms?
Carey Martin: Surprise!

Carey Martin: I'm so happy to see my babies.
Zack Martin: Mom, we're men now. We shave.
Cody Martin: Yep. First Monday of every month.

Carey Martin: Oh, my back is killing me. Cheap Charlie's started their own airline. They cut fares by eliminating frivolous amenities like seats and bathrooms.

Kurt: So why don't the boys and I go have some guy fun while you rest up? Huh?
Cody Martin: Yes.
Zack Martin: That'd be great.
Carey Martin: I get it. I crashed your guys' weekend.
Kurt, Zack Martin, Cody Martin: No, no.
Cody Martin: Not at all.
Zack Martin: Maybe a little.
Kurt: Totally.

Carey Martin: Mr Moseby, it's so good to see you.
Mr. Moseby: And here's your bill.
Carey Martin: I haven't even checked in yet.
Mr. Moseby: It's for everything the boys have broken since they've been on board.

Carey Martin: [Looking at the bill] An anchor? Zack, how do you break an anchor?
Zack Martin: Why do you always assume it was me?
[Carey looks at Zack suspiciously]
Zack Martin: Okay, it was me.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Boston Tea Party (#2.17)" (2006)
Carey Martin: I once dated this guy...
[Zack and Cody groan]
Carey Martin: What?
Cody Martin: You fought against City Hall and won.
Zack Martin: And then he dumped you.
Carey Martin: Have I told you this story before?
Zack Martin: No. That's just how all your boyfriend stories end.

Carey Martin: You boys need to do your American History homework
Zack Martin: Mother, there is no American History. Yesterday we got here on the boat and today we bathed in the creek!

Carey: What are you doing?
Zack Martin: Counting my armpit hair. One... done.

Carey: [to Cody] That's my little warrior!
Zack Martin: Ha! Your little warrior sleeps with a bunny-rabbit nightlight.

Carey: Wow, how'd you figure that out?
Cody Martin: Zack did.
Carey, Arwin: No, seriously.
Zack Martin: You know, I wish you people would realize that I'm a thoughtful and intelligent person.
Carey: I realize that, honey.
Zack Martin: We're gonna go lay down in front of the bulldozers.
Carey: I spoke too soon!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Grounded on the 23rd Floor (#1.5)" (2005)
Carey: You had your underwear dry-cleaned?
Zack Martin: Feels good!

Carey: [talking about baby-sitters] I was thinking maybe Maddie - works in the gift shop. She needs the money, like us.
Cody Martin: Oh, Maddie.
Zack Martin: [to Cody, miming hourglass shape] Baby's got it going on!
Carey: She's got what going where?
Zack Martin: I don't know what I'm saying.
Carey: Yeah, you better not.

Mr. Moseby: I understand how it is; children can sometimes be a burden!
Carey: Aww, you have kids?
Mr. Moseby: Nope, and after seeing yours, not gonna happen!

Carey: We may live in a palace, but we're not royalty.
Zack Martin: I think you're a queen, Mommy.
Carey: Aww. Put a sock in it!

Carey Martin: What brings you up so early?
Mr. Moseby: Couldn't sleep.
[looks at Zack and Cody]
Mr. Moseby: Nightmares!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: What the Hey! (#2.21)" (2006)
Bob: [after being caught skipping school, but shifting blame onto Zack and Cody] Mrs Martin. Well, I see you've got some parenting to do.
Carey Martin: And Bob, I'll call your mother and tell her exactly how you spent your day.
Bob: In which case, I'd better go and pick her up something nice.

London Tipton: Brandi, don't leave. I'm sorry about all the mean things I said to you. I didn't realize you were being annoying because you cared.
Brandi: I guess I just got excited about having a stepdaughter.
London Tipton: Well, how about we start by just being friends?
Brandi: I'd like that.
[She and London hug each other as Carey enters the hotel with the boys and lays down the law with them]
Brandi: Boy, it's great being a mom.
Carey Martin: Take a good look at the people in the lobby, boys, because they have lives and you don't! For one month, that means no movies, no desserts, no television, no music. Cody, for you, no reading for fun!
London Tipton: [to Brandi] Don't worry. I never read for fun.

Carey Martin: [looks at the price tag] Whoa, that's a lot of numbers! What do you suggest for a woman who's on a budget?
Snooty Woman: Marry a rich man or failing that, down the street, the 49-cent store.

Snooty Woman: [brings Carey bottled water] I hope it's cold enough for you.
Carey Martin: Well, did you hold it right next to your heart?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Crushed (#1.24)" (2006)
Agnes: This is so romantic. Do you like it when I feed you?
Cody Martin: Yes. Although, I could feed myself if you untied me.
Agnes: But if I untied you, you might try to run away again.
Cody Martin: No I wouldn't. And it's not because you nailed my feet to the floor, which by the way, is taking most of the enjoyment out of this tasty mac and cheese.
Agnes: Let me pull those nails right out!
Cody Martin: AAAARRGGGHHH!
Cody Martin: [Wakes up from his nightmare] Man! I just had the scariest dream in the history of scary dreams.
Agnes: What was it about, honey?
Cody Martin: AAGGHH!
Zack Martin: Hey, guys.
Cody Martin: How'd she get in here?
Zack Martin: I let her in.
Cody Martin: Why?
Zack Martin: [Shrugs] Kicks. By the way, you'd better get dressed. Your wedding's in 10 minutes!
Cody Martin: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wedding?
Agnes: [Suddenly appearing in a wedding dress] Hi, hubby-wubby!
Carey: [Showing Cody his wedding tux] Told ya it'd all work out!
Cody Martin: [Wakes up from nightmare] AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
Zack Martin: Man, I've been watching you scream for 10 minutes.
Cody Martin: Why didn't you wake me?
Zack Martin: There was nothing on TV.

[On Cody's girlfriend, Agnes]
Carey: She's a keeper.
Zack Martin: Yeah, in the basement.

Carey: Agnes tells me you guys have a date tomorrow.
Cody Martin: We don't have a date.
Carey: OK, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What do you call it when one friend goes out to dinner with another friend?
Zack Martin: Creepy beyond belief.
Carey: Don't be jealous, Zack. You'll have a special friend some day, too.
Zack Martin: Yeah, hopefully, my friend won't be from Planet Whoo!

Carey: Cody, your little girlfriend is so sweet.
Cody Martin: My girlfriend?
Carey: Oh, I get it. OK. Your friend that just happens to be a girl.
[to Agnes]
Carey: Boys!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Health & Fitness (#2.34)" (2007)
Carey Martin: [to Zack] Honey, you have a problem.
Zack Martin: I do not!
Carey Martin: I found licorice in your underwear drawer!

Carey Martin: Zack, do you realize that kids who eat to much sugar increase their risk of getting diabetes?
Zack Martin: So we'll compromise. I won't put sugar on my cake anymore!

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [holds up dress] Ooh, what do you think of this one?
Francesca: Oh, it's hideous.
Carey Martin: I think it's gorgeous.
Francesca: Thank you, but we really don't need an opinion from the help.
Carey Martin: I'm not help.
Francesca: You're telling me. I ordered a mocha frappe 10 minutes ago, and nothing.
Carey Martin: Oh, I'll give you a frappe.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Lip Synchin' in the Rain (#3.9)" (2007)
Carey Martin: [trying to teach London to sing] Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do.
London Tipton: How am I gonna remember all that?
Carey Martin: Maybe you could think of something that reminds you of each note.
[sings]
Carey Martin: Do.
London Tipton: Dough. That means money!
Carey Martin: [sings] ... Re, mi.
London Tipton: Re, mi... yay, me!
[claps]
Carey Martin: [sings] Fa, so...
London Tipton: Oh! When something's *far*, I say, "so?" 'Cause I have a private jet!
Carey Martin: [sings] La...
London Tipton: Law is something you get to break when ! y ou're rich.
[points to self]
Carey Martin: [sings] Ti...
London Tipton: My favorite vowel!
Carey Martin: [sings] Do.
London Tipton: Yay, more money!
[sings her version of the scale, very off-key and breaks a wine glass]
London Tipton: Mazel tov!

Carey Martin: [attempting to give London a singing lesson] Learning a song is easy if you can handle a scale.
[meaning musical scale]
London Tipton: No problem, you just step on it, then subtract five pounds.

Mr. Moseby: What was that terrible noise?
London Tipton: I was singing
Mr. Moseby: Not that noise. The other noise with someone else is making that drowned up your wonderful singing
Carey Martin: Nice save.
Mr. Moseby: London, Shall we get this dance lesson started? I want to get your moneys worth.
Carey Martin: How much is she paying you?
Mr. Moseby: 3 diamonds an hour
Carey Martin: I am only getting two. I got robbed.
London Tipton: Hey are we going to dance or what?
Mr. Moseby: Yes. Yes. Now a good dancer dances from his soul. Step, step, kick, and shimmy shimmy shimmy, one two boogie and shortie short shortie short, fish tale fish tale, and crazy legs crazy legs, just square just square and big finish.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Nurse Zack (#2.29)" (2006)
Dr. Chip Walters: So, who's the patient?
Carey Martin: That would be me, the woman lying in bed, sneezing her guts out.
Dr. Chip Walters: Actually, you can't really sneeze your guts out. I wrote a paper on it.
Cody Martin: What grade did you get?
Dr. Chip Walters: That's not important!

Carey Martin: So Dr. Walters,
Dr. Chip Walters: Call me Chip!
Carey Martin: I'd rather not.

Cody Martin: Uh oh!
Carey Martin: What?
Cody Martin: Your temperature is higher than Zack's IQ!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Cody Goes to Camp (#1.10)" (2005)
Carey: [frantic] Mr. Moseby, Zach just left for the math camp.
Mr. Moseby: Perfect, it's like falling in love twice!
Carey: But it's worse than that. London's driving.
Mr. Moseby: Oh, no.
Carey: So how do we find them?
Mr. Moseby: Simple. Look for the only car on the highway going in reverse.

Carey: Esteban, have you seen Zack?
Esteban: Zack? Zack who?
Carey: Esteban, do you like nature films?
Esteban: Oh, I love nature films.
Carey: Did you ever seen the one in how the mother bear cares for her cubs?
Esteban: London's driving him and Maddie to math camp. Please don't eat me!
Carey: Moseby, Zack's gone to math camp.
Mr. Moseby: Good. Now they're both gone. It's like falling in love twice.
Carey: But it's worse than that. London's driving.
Mr. Moseby: Oh, no!
Carey: Oh, yes!
Mr. Moseby: We'll find the only car on the highway going in reverse.

Carey: Can you believe him? He actually criticized my driving, while HE was driving!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Dad's Back (#1.20)" (2005)
Carey: Time to do your homework.
Cody Martin: I already did mine.
Zack Martin: You disgust me.

Carey: Look, tell me he's okay and he doesn't have any tattoos.
Kurt: He's okay. And it says "Mom."
[Kurt and Zack chuckle]
Kurt: Oh, come on. Have a sense of humor.
Carey: I married you, didn't I?
Kurt: Oh, yeah. There it is.

Kurt: Look, I know you're mad.
Carey: Oh, I'm not mad. I was mad when you sold our to buy a new guitar. I was mad when you brought home the wrong twins from the school playground.
Kurt: It was an honest mistake.
Carey: They were girls!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Books and Birdhouses (#2.9)" (2006)
Zack Martin: Why don't you bake me cookies whenever I get a C?
Carey Martin: There's not enough dough in the world
Zack Martin: Well it's true!

Zack Martin: Hey, why don't you make cookies for me when I get a C?
Carey Martin: There's not enough dough in the world.

Carey Martin: Well, the best part is I've got this clock and this wonderful wheelbarrow.
Cody Martin: It's a birdhouse!
Carey Martin: That's what I said.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Super Twins (#3.4)" (2007)
[after tying up Carey, Arwin sings her a song]
Arwin: [singing off-key] I love Carey./She looks just like a fairy./I love Carey./Please don't be mad if I stare-y.
Carey Martin: And I thought being tied up was painful.

Cody Martin: Mom! Superheroes don't wear sweaters.
Carey Martin: They do if it's super cold outside.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Poor Little Rich Girl (#1.13)" (2005)
Carey Martin: Whatever's in this envelope
[to Cody]
Carey Martin: you're still Cody and
[to Zack]
Carey Martin: you're still Zack.
[Esteban walks by and hears this]
Esteban: Will I still be Esteban?
Carey Martin: Yes.
Esteban: Aw too bad, then I must go get a ton of luggage in room 1217.
[he leaves]
Carey Martin: Before we do...
Zack Martin: Oh no, she's gonna talk.
Carey Martin: this is important. Even if you're you and you're you, I'll still love you if he's you and you're him.
Cody Martin: I couldn't follow that and I'm the smart one.
Carey Martin: Ok, swirly heels, swirly heels.
[to Cody]
Carey Martin: You're definitely Cody and
[to Zack]
Carey Martin: you're definately Zack.
Zack Martin: Alright! Now I can go back to chilling and getting by in school.
[sees his mom's face]
Zack Martin: I mean doing my best.
Carey Martin: It's so nice to have my boys back.

[repeated line]
Zack Martin, London, Maddie, Cody Martin, Carey, Mr. Moseby: WHAT!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Kisses and Basketball (#1.22)" (2006)
Zack Martin: [Zack and Max both reach for a piece of cake at the same time and their hands touch. They both jerk their hands back immediately] I'm not hungry!
Max: Me neither!
Carey: Huh... Wonder what's wrong with them?
Arwin: Isn't it obvious?
[Leans in closer toward Carey]
Arwin: They're not hungry!

Cody Martin, Tapeworm: Zack kissed a girl! Zack kissed a girl!
Carey: Boys, stop teasing Zack and be mature.
[they stop]
Arwin: Zack kissed a girl! Zack kissed a girl! Zack kissed a girl! He kissed a girl, a female! A female...
[Arwin stops, but accidentally sticks his hand in some cake, then eats it]
Arwin: Cake makes me crazy.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Arwin That Came to Dinner (#3.8)" (2007)
Arwin: Carey, would you make me a rhinoceros pancake?
Carey Martin: Coming right up...
[to Zack and Cody]
Carey Martin: Get rid of him!

Arwin: That's not a rhinoceros! It's a hippo!
Carey Martin: I'm sorry, I didn't have enough batter!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Forever Plaid (#2.6)" (2006)
Carey Martin: I thought I taught you to have more respect towards women.
Zack Martin: You did! But those weekends with Dad...
Carey Martin: Enough!

Carey Martin: You're gonna write those girls an apology and an essay on why peeping is wrong. 500 words each.
Zack Martin: 500 words? Couldn't you just ground us?
Carey Martin: 1,000.
Zack Martin: 1,000?
Carey Martin: 2,000. You wanna go for 3?
Cody Martin: Quit while we're behind. You don't even know 3,000 words.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Boston Holiday (#1.26)" (2006)
Zack Martin: I consider you more like a friend.
Carey Martin: And friends don't give friends their allowances.

Carey: Zack?
Zack Martin: Mom!
Mr. Babalabaloo: Prince Sanjei!
Prince Sanjei: Mr. Babalabaloo!
Delilah: Carey?
Carey: Delilah?
Mr. Moseby: You two know each other?
Carey: From my book club.
Delilah: So, these are your twins.
Carey: Unfortunately, yes.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Scary Movie (#2.26)" (2006)
Carey Martin: [finding Zack in the lobby, still sleepwalking] Zack, wake up.
Mr. Moseby: You can't wake him up. I have tried everything.
Carey Martin: Zack, I'm making chocolate chip pancakes.
Zack Martin: Cool, I'll have twelve.
[he looks around]
Zack Martin: Hey, where am I? What am I doing in the lobby in my pajamas?
[he looks at Cody wrapped up in bubble wrap]
Zack Martin: Although, as silly outfits go, I come in second.
Carey Martin: You were sleepwalking, trying to protect yourself from zombie moms.
Zack Martin: Well, that's strange, because we didn't go to see that scary movie, did we, Cody?
Cody Martin: It was Zack's idea!
Zack Martin: Thanks, man.

Carey Martin: I'll kiss it, make the boo-boo better.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Birdman of Boston (#2.28)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Don't you know anything about parenting?
Carey Martin: Apparantly not.

Cody Martin: [the hawk he hatched and raised flies off] Look at him go.
Carey Martin: He's beautiful.
Cody Martin: Mom, when you moved out, did your mother cry?
[breaks down crying]
Carey Martin: Only after I was gone.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Lost in Translation (#2.23)" (2006)
Kumiko Mori: We should sing something we both know.
[thinks, and then sings a series of very vibrato, operatic high notes]
Carey Martin: Yeah, I can't do that since I had kids.

[Carey and Kumiko are unable to find a song they both know how to sing]
Mr. Moseby: Ugh. Right now, I'd be happy if you sung "If You're Happy and You Know It".
Carey Martin, Kumiko Mori: I know that one!
[Mr. Moseby groans]


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Cookin' with Romeo and Juilet (#1.14)" (2005)
Cody Martin: Mr. Moseby! Mr. Moseby! It's a hideous monster, and it's coming this way!
Mr. Moseby: Boys, I can assure you there are no such things as monsters.
Zack Martin: Oh, yeah? Look!
Ilsa: [enters lobby] I'm back.
[Zach, Cody, Mr. Moseby and Carey scream]
Carey: Quick, get behind me, boys and don't look her in the mol... the eye!
[Mr. Moseby tries to hide, but ends up facing Ilsa]
Ilsa: Mr. Moseby.
Mr. Moseby: Ms. Schiklegoobermeyger.
Ilsa: Actually, since you had me fired from the Tipton organization, I've gotten married.
Carey: You're kidding.
Ilsa: No. My married name is Ilsa Schiklegoobermeyger-Vanhelsingdekeppeloogerhoffer.
Carey: You're kidding.

Carey: Cody, don't you have something to say to your brother?
Cody Martin: I'm sorry I flicked flour in your face.
Carey: Zack?
Zack Martin: I'm sorry you're my brother.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Hotel Inspector (#1.4)" (2005)
Zack Martin: So is the evil hotel inspector gone yet?
Ilsa: No, she is right here.
Zack Martin: Whoa! What's that on your face?
[Carey covers his mouth]
Mr. Moseby: It's a beauty mark!
Cody Martin: But it has a hair on it!
[Carey covers his mouth]
Carey: It's good I don't have triplets! I would run out of hands!

Carey: He's just trying to keep this hotel running smoothly, and you guys tend to be *un-smooth*.
Cody Martin: Yeah. Un-smooth like when mom doesn't shave her legs for two weeks.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Going for the Gold (#2.16)" (2006)
Maddie Fitzpatrick: I'm gonna put purses over here and matching belt over there.
Carey Martin: Ah... and do you have a bussiness plan?
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Weren't you listening, I'm gonna put purses over here and matching belt over there.
London: No, no, no he talking about financial planning. Ordering stocks taking inventory.
London: [getting mad] I said, I'm gonna put purses over here and matching belt over there.

Mr. Moseby: [about Irv] What a hot dog!
Carey Martin: Well, you are what you eat.
Mr. Moseby: Ooh.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Ghost in Suite 613 (#1.19)" (2005)
Carey: Zack, no brother-clucking!

Carey: Cody, when I left, there was a floor under this mess. I'd lilke it back. Could you clean up?
Cody Martin: Pshhh, next, she'll be telling me to take a bath.
[Zack grabs Cody's arm]
Cody Martin: Aaaahhh!
Zack Martin: [comes out of the mess] Hahaha! Got cha!
Cody Martin: No, got you!
[pins Zack to the ground]
Carey: Cody, why are you wiping the floor with your brother's face? Well, if it gets the stain out.
Cody Martin: Mom, Zack scared me again.
Carey: Zack, you know Cody's...
[hesitates]
Carey: sensative. Why do you do it?
Zack Martin: 'Cause it's my job.
Carey: Well, you're fired. Clean up.
Zack Martin: You should've seen your face! Oh, I can show it to you.
[impersonates Cody]


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Free Tippy (#2.5)" (2006)
[Zack & Cody were mistaken for Orphan by a hotel patron]
Carey: Are you talking about my sons?
Zack Martin: Mom? I can't believe we finally found you!

[London realizes she has designer clothes specifically for dumpster-diving]
Carey: Must be nice being rich.
London Tipton: You should try it.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Orchestra (#3.14)" (2007)
Zack Martin: Cody, you're jealous of a rumor. And I'm not even sure I heard it right.
Cody Martin: [crying] Oh, great! Now I've ruined my life by dumping Barbara,
[squeaky]
Cody Martin: I have NOTHING!
Carey Martin: You have a family that loves you.
Cody Martin: [still crying] I mean something that I care about!

[London is trying to operate a vacuum cleaner without electricity]
Carey Martin: Uh, London dear, you have to turn the vacuum on.
London Tipton: But I don't like the noise.
Carey Martin: I don't like the dirt.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Romancing the Phone (#3.18)" (2008)
[repeated line]
Carey Martin: Glad I could help!


"The Suite Life on Deck: Graduation on Deck (#3.22)" (2011)
Carey Martin: You've always been smart. Ever since you were born and you cut your own umbilical cord.
Cody Martin: I had to. Zack wrapped it around my neck.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Risk It All (#2.31)" (2007)
Carey Martin: Aw, guys, it's still alright if you didn't win the trip to Hawaii. Although, I did always want to go to Hawaii... I want to lie down on the beach, with the sound of the waves crashing... the sun in my face... the wind in my hair...
[Breaks down crying]
Carey Martin: Oh, I wanted that trip so bad!
Cody Martin: Don't worry, little lady. You're getting tears all over my blue suede shoes.
Zack Martin: Forget it. She's going to be crying all night. We'll never be able to get any sleep.
[the twins remember their consolation prize]
Cody Martin: Wait a minute. Didn't we win a free room in this hotel?
Zack Martin: [mimics the "Risk It All" host] That's right, Cody-cito! You freak!
Cody Martin: Race you to the front desk!
[They exit]
Carey Martin: [begins crying again, then hits the back of her head on the chair] Ow!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Hotel Hangout (#1.1)" (2005)
Zack Martin: Mom, what are you doing?
Carey Martin: Apparently I'm embarassing myself in fron of you're new friends. You made friends!
Max: Maybe...


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Arwinstein (#3.12)" (2007)
Arwin: [as Arwinstein, exhausted from carrying Carey] Ahhh!
Carey Martin: [shrugging, a bit nervous] I know I know I gained a few pounds but I go jogging everyday.
Arwin: [as Arwinstein, not believing] Ahhh?
Carey Martin: Would you believe three times a week?
Arwin: [as Arwinstein, still not believing] Ah?
Carey Martin: [defeated] Ok, I went yesterday.
Arwin: [as Arwinstein, convinced] Ahhhhh!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: I Want My Mummy (#2.38)" (2007)
Carey Martin: Oh, sweetie, are you okay? We better get you unwrapped. After all that time, you must really have to go.
Cody Martin: Not anymore. This gauze is really absorbant.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Ah, Wilderness (#2.27)" (2006)
Maddie Fitzpatrick: [Maddie asks Carey whether it is right for her to date London's ex] He's smart, cute and he's rich.
Carey Martin: [sarcastically] Wow, that's a problem.
[normal voice]
Carey Martin: Does he have a brother?
Veronica: Is he a brother?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Election (#2.7)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Mom agrees with me!
Zack Martin: Mom's on my side now!
[in a little kid's voice]
Zack Martin: Right, Mommy?
Carey: Aw, I'm on both of your sides.
Zack Martin: That's a cop out!
Carey: Yes it is. Have some cake.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Neither a Borrower Nor a Speller Bee (#2.12)" (2006)
Carey Martin: Didn't I tell you? Neither a borrower nor lender be?
Zack Martin: Well, I'm halfway there! I never lend.


"The Suite Life on Deck: The Suite Life Sets Sail (#1.1)" (2008)
Carey Martin: [on sending the twins to Seven Seas High] It was a great opportunity and I could afford it with my employee discount. How could I say no?
Mr. Moseby: Like this: No!
[Mr. Moseby runs to the edge of the ship and jumps off into the ocean]
Carey Martin: He took that better than I thought.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Heck's Kitchen (#2.4)" (2006)
Zack Martin, Carey Martin, London Tipton, Maddie Fitzpatrick: [stomping on a lobster] What?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Suite Life Goes Hollywood: Part 1 (#2.36)" (2007)
Zack Martin: [Hugs Maddie] Bye Maddie
[Doesn't let go]
Carey Martin: Zack, remember how we talked about people's personal space?
Zack Martin: Yeah, and I like Maddie's space the best.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Miniature Golf (#2.33)" (2007)
Carey Martin: [to Zack] And let's get something straight. Girls can do anything boys can do, and we can do it while wearing high heels.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Pilot Your Own Life (#1.23)" (2006)
Cody Martin: [to Maddie] Don't let fear in your cockpit.
Carey Martin: Don't let what in your where?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Prince and the Plunger (#1.6)" (2005)
Carey Martin: Aren't you two supposed to be in bed? Where's Muriel?
Cody Martin: Oh, we fed her, let her watch TV, and she went to sleep right on time!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Back in the Game (#2.35)" (2007)
Zack Martin: [over the phone, to his wheelchair-bound friend, Jamie] Dude, you gotta get over here right now! Jessica Simpson is in the hotel!
Carey Martin: Jessica Simpson is here? Oh, maybe I can get her to sing for our PTA fundraiser.
[holds up a burnt pastry]
Carey Martin: I don't think the bake sale's going to go very well.
Zack Martin: [putting the phone to his chest so Jamie can't hear him] Don't be silly, Jessica Simpson's not here!
[talking to Jamie again]
Zack Martin: Oh, I just saw her walk by! Hi, Jessica!
[gives the phone to Cody]
Cody Martin: [tries to do his best Jessica Simpson impression, complete with Southern accent] Hey y'all! Wanna come hang out with me by the pool? I need someone to help rub in my suntan lotion!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Who's the Boss? (#3.5)" (2007)
Wayne: You know you can always find the pot of gold at the end of the Wayne-Bow!
[points to his face]
Carey: I'm not Irish, and you're not getting lucky.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Christmas at the Tipton (#1.21)" (2005)
Joe: Who is helping my wife give birth?
Mr. Moseby: Oh, just a couple of twelve year old boys.
Carey Martin: But don't worry one of them is really smart.
Kurt: Yeah, and the other one watches alot of medical shows.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Commercial Breaks (#1.25)" (2006)
Esteban: Welcome to the Tipton!
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Where everything is sweet!
Patrick: Try joining us for dinner, may we offer you a seat?
Mr. Moseby: [singing] Next time stay at the Tipton/The Tipton puts you on top/When you stay at the Tipton/The good times, they never stop
Esteban, Maddie Fitzpatrick, Patrick, Carey Martin, Arwin, Mr. Moseby: [singing] Because you're the star when you travel far/The food is always gourmet/At the Tipton, at the Tipton/At the Tipton, it's your place to stay!
Mr. Moseby: Check in!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: To Catch a Thief (#1.11)" (2005)
Cody Martin: So, we're grounded?
Carey: Grounded in a suite full of video games and TV? No, you're spending the day with me picking my outfit for my acts.
Zack Martin: With shoes?
Carey: Lots and lots of shoes.
Cody Martin, Zack Martin: Noooo!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Footloser (#1.7)" (2005)
Zack Martin: Mom! We're gonna be on TV!
Carey Martin: [worriedly] Oh, boy. What did you set on fire?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Suite Smell of Excess (#2.15)" (2006)
Zack Martin: But Bob's parents said he could go bungee jumping.
Carey: And if Bob's parents let him jump off a bridge, would you want to, too?
Zack Martin: If I was attached to a bungee cord.
Carey: Not even if you were attached to my umbilical cord.
Zack Martin: Okay, ew.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Bowling (#2.13)" (2006)
[repeated line]
Zack Martin, Cody Martin, Carey, Mr. Moseby, London, Maddie: WHAT!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Sleepover Suite (#3.7)" (2007)
Ed - Mellow Notes, Mel - Mellow Notes, Mitch - Mellow Notes, Murray - Mellow Notes: [singing] We promise this date will really be tops...
Carey Martin: [also singing] If I'm not back by ten, call the cops!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Graduation (#3.1)" (2007)
Zack Martin: I don't deserve this.
Carey Martin: Sure you do, honey. We are all so proud of you.
Zack Martin: But...
Kurt: Yeah pal, you made us so proud.
Zack Martin: No, I didn't! Cause I didn't graduate!
[everyone gasps]
Mr. Moseby: [sarcastic tone] There's a shock.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: A Prom Story (#1.8)" (2005)
Zack Martin: My English teacher is right. I *am* completely unkempt at everything.
Carey Martin: I think you mean 'inept,' honey.
Zack Martin: You see?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Big Hair & Baseball (#1.16)" (2005)
Carey Martin: The more you connect with them the less your stuff they'll break.
Mr. Moseby: You really expect me to believe that?
Carey Martin: No... Mr. Moesby, please, please, please, please, please! I never get a day to myself and the boys love you.
Mr. Moseby: They love me?
Carey Martin: No, but they might if you took them to a baseball game.
Guest #1: Well, I can't believe that hotel guy won't take his own kids to a baseball game.
Mr. Moseby: They're not my...
Guest #2: That's just not right.
Mr. Moseby: But I hate baseball.
Guest #1: Now that's just un-American.
Guest #2: Can you believe this guy? I guess you hate apple pie too, huh, fella? And puppies. And your own mama.
Mr. Moseby: Sir...
[shouts]
Mr. Moseby: I love my mama!
[to Carey]
Mr. Moseby: I'd love to take the boys to the game. What time is kick-off?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: French 101 (#2.2)" (2006)
Carey Martin: So I take it you like this French girl too?
Cody Martin: Le duh!