Zack Martin
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Quotes for
Zack Martin (Character)
from "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" (2005)

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"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Day Care (#2.3)" (2006)
Cody Martin: [grabbing the other walkie-talkie] We are dealing with an evil genius.
Maddie: Hmm, what's this?
[picks up a rose with a card attached]
Maddie: "To Maddie, you make me wish I was a better person. Love, Randall."
[pauses]
Maddie: Aww, that is so sweet.
Zack Martin: I can't believe I'm losing you to a younger man!

Zack Martin: You'll be surprised to see how this father to be has corralled these young suckers.
[they turn the corner to see Cody bound and gagged]
Maddie: [taking the gag off Cody] How could you let this happen?
Cody Martin: Well, the blonde one tripped me and the rest is a blur.

Johnny: Do you like coloring?
Cody Martin: I sure do, little one! In the first grade, I won a free ice cream sundae for my work on the "Enchanted Pony Island Coloring Book"!
Johnny: You're weird.
Zack Martin: He's got you pegged.
[boy kicks Cody's shin]
Cody Martin: Ow! Little boy, don't you know it's not nice to kick people in the shin?
[boy steps on his foot]
Cody Martin: Ow! Look, Kid, I know Santa, and someone just made the Naughty List!
Johnny: I'm Jewish.

Cody Martin: [referring to Zack] Everone has more armpit hair than him
Zack Martin: They're blonde and hard to see!
Randall: Yeah, all two of them!
[he and Cody laugh]

Randall: I bet I have more armpit hair than you!
Cody Martin: Everybody has more armpit hair than Zack.
Zack Martin: They're blonde, and hard to see!
Randall: Yeah, all two of 'em!

Zack Martin: Did I ever tell you how pretty you looked when you're angry?
Maddie: Well I must look gorgeous right now because I'm furious!

Cody Martin: Zack, don't just stand there! Do something!
Emily: [to Zack] You're not my mommy! I want my mommy!
Zack Martin: Cody, I think she wants you.

Maddie: Hey, Esteban! Cute baby.
Esteban: Thanks.
Maddie: Where are the little kids! I put you in charge!
Esteban: But Mr. Moseby put me in charge of everything else. Don't worry. Zack and Cody have everything under control.
Zack Martin: [Randall rides the luggage cart while Zack chases after him] Get back here, young man!
Randall: Not gonna happen, old man!
Randall: [rides past Maddie] I'll be back for you, my love!

Esteban: Where are the little-er people?
Zack Martin: We're playing hide-and-seek.
Cody Martin: And we lose.
Zack Martin: What do you mean?
Cody Martin: They're gone!

Zack Martin: Don't worry, Esteban. Taking care of kids is easy.
Randall: [to Zack] I'm bored.
Zack Martin: Good, then go to sleep.

Maddie: I'm sorry, Mr. Moseby, but I had to leave for a family emergency, and I had to leave Esteban in charge.
Esteban: And I had to take care of everything you put me in charge for, so I had to leave Zack and Cody in charge.
Zack Martin: Which means this is clearly your fault, Mr. Moseby.
Cody Martin: But rest assure, we forgive you.

Zack Martin: Hey, Maddie, I'm recycling. You know why? Because I love this planet almost as much as I love you.
Maddie: [rubs Zack's hair] Good for you.
Zack Martin: She wants me.

Randall: My parents paid good money for me to have fun, and guess what?
Zack Martin: You want to give me a tip?
Randall: Sure. You should do something about your disproportionate head.
Zack Martin: It was a bad haircut!

Randall: I want to ride in the air vents.
Zack Martin: You're not ready for that.
Randall: Surfing on the luggage cart?
Zack Martin: Overrated.
Randall: Fishing in the restaurant aquarium?
Zack Martin: No... hmm, interesting.

Zack Martin: [to Cody while he's holding a baby] You're good at this. How'd you figure out that rock and bounce technique?
Cody Martin: It's not a technique. I just really have to go to the bathroom.

Zack Martin: [holds a teddy bear around the corner; talks as the bear] Hi, there, Emily!
Emily: [looks at the bear] Teddy?
Zack Martin: [puts a black market to the bear's face] Come quietly or the bear gets a mustache.
Emily: No!
[runs to the bear, but gets caught by Zack]
Emily: I hate you.
Zack Martin: Get in line.

Randall: [while asleep] Maddie... must destroy Zack!
Zack Martin: That kid should be locked up somewhere.

Zack Martin: Mr. Moseby, you just don't know what it's like to deal with kids.
Cody Martin: They don't listen to you, they have no respect for authority, they run all over the lobby like maniacs...
Mr. Moseby: Welcome to my world.

Zack Martin: [over the walkie-talkie to Cody] Papa Bear to Mama Bear.
Cody Martin: [to Zack over the walkie-talkie] Why do I have to be Mama Bear?
Zack Martin: [to Cody over the walkie-talkie] Fine. Papa Bear to Goldilocks.
[two little kids laugh]
Cody Martin: [to Zack over the walkie-talkie] I hate you.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Crushed (#1.24)" (2006)
Agnes: This is so romantic. Do you like it when I feed you?
Cody Martin: Yes. Although, I could feed myself if you untied me.
Agnes: But if I untied you, you might try to run away again.
Cody Martin: No I wouldn't. And it's not because you nailed my feet to the floor, which by the way, is taking most of the enjoyment out of this tasty mac and cheese.
Agnes: Let me pull those nails right out!
Cody Martin: AAAARRGGGHHH!
Cody Martin: [Wakes up from his nightmare] Man! I just had the scariest dream in the history of scary dreams.
Agnes: What was it about, honey?
Cody Martin: AAGGHH!
Zack Martin: Hey, guys.
Cody Martin: How'd she get in here?
Zack Martin: I let her in.
Cody Martin: Why?
Zack Martin: [Shrugs] Kicks. By the way, you'd better get dressed. Your wedding's in 10 minutes!
Cody Martin: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wedding?
Agnes: [Suddenly appearing in a wedding dress] Hi, hubby-wubby!
Carey: [Showing Cody his wedding tux] Told ya it'd all work out!
Cody Martin: [Wakes up from nightmare] AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
Zack Martin: Man, I've been watching you scream for 10 minutes.
Cody Martin: Why didn't you wake me?
Zack Martin: There was nothing on TV.

Zack Martin: Maybe she'll have a lousy time on your date. You are as boring as a stick. Actually, you could play with a stick
Cody Martin: Thanks for trying to cheer me up. But I'm a goner. Nothing I do bothers her.
Zack Martin: That's because you're too nice do something to gross her out. Sneeze on her, pick some eye boogers, braid your nose hairs.
Cody Martin: Eww! That's gross!
Zack Martin: That's the point!

[On Cody's girlfriend, Agnes]
Carey: She's a keeper.
Zack Martin: Yeah, in the basement.

Agnes: Excuse me. Could you play the violin when my date arrives?
Maitre'd: [Sarcastically] Of course. Then I'll ride a unicycle and juggle some bananas.
Agnes: Could you?
Maitre'd: [to himself] Could this evening get any worse?
Zack Martin: Yo, dude!
Maitre'd: Apparently, it can.

Agnes: You're MY little rebel.
Zack Martin: [whimpers] But, you like Cody!

Agnes: Shh, don't speak!
[puts a finger on Zacks lips]
Agnes: Your eyes speak for you!
Zack Martin: I wish they'd shut up!

Cody Martin: Agnes, what Zack is trying to say is, you came on a little strong.
Zack Martin: No, what Zack is trying to say is...
[opens door]
Zack Martin: ...leave.

Zack Martin: You gotta stop being such a pushover. Now go do my homework like you promised.
Cody Martin: Okay... but you're only getting a B.
Zack Martin: Yes! My first B!

Cody Martin: I'd like you to know that unlike you, I'm not enjoying your pain. Oh, hi, Agnes.
Zack Martin: Very funny, but that won't work.
Agnes: [Comes up behind Zack] Hi, Zack.
Zack Martin: ARGH!
Cody Martin: OK, now I'm enjoying it!

Agnes: [after discovering Zack is impersonating Cody on their date] You're not my Codikins! I don't like to be fooled... Zack.
Zack Martin: But I...
Agnes: I know what's going on.
Zack Martin: You do?
Agnes: Yeah. You want me for yourself.
Zack Martin: Whoa, there, girl! I hawked on your food, I pulled pasta out of my nose.
Agnes: And strangely, I loved it. And you.
Zack Martin: [Whimpers] But you love Cody!
Agnes: I know. But you are exciting and unpredictable. You're my little rebel. Agnes likes!
Zack Martin: But...
Agnes: Shh! Don't speak! Your eyes speak for you.
Zack Martin: I wish they'd shut up!

Carey: Agnes tells me you guys have a date tomorrow.
Cody Martin: We don't have a date.
Carey: OK, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What do you call it when one friend goes out to dinner with another friend?
Zack Martin: Creepy beyond belief.
Carey: Don't be jealous, Zack. You'll have a special friend some day, too.
Zack Martin: Yeah, hopefully, my friend won't be from Planet Whoo!

Cody Martin: Our children will be Agnes Jr and Cody Jr. Our dog's name is Agnody.
[Pulls Agnes to him]
Cody Martin: Right, honey bear?
Zack Martin: [Pulls Agnes to him] She's not your honey bear, she's my sugar muffin!
Cody Martin: [Pulls Agnes to him] Tell him you're mine, cutie-patootie!
Zack Martin: [Pulls Agnes to him] No one tells my rosie posie what to do!
Agnes: That popping noise you hear? Yeah, that was my shoulder.
Cody Martin: Oh, I'm sorry. Let me rub that for you, sweetie tweetie.
Zack Martin: [Pulls Agnes to him] No one touches my lovey bunny but me!
Cody Martin: Oh, yeah?
Cody Martin: Yeah!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Fairest of Them All (#1.2)" (2005)
Zack Martin: [walking up to Brianna] So if I guess your name, do I win a kiss?
Brianna: Oh, you're so adorable! And so completely out of your league.

Carey Martin: What are you guys doing tonight?
Cody Martin: Uhh...
[walks to Carey]
Cody Martin: I'm sleeping over at Tapeworm's
Carey Martin: [to Zack] And you're not?
Zack Martin: No, we had a fight.
Carey Martin: You and Tapeworm?
Zack Martin: Me and Zack.
Carey Martin: [looks at Cody] Are you wearing lipstick?
Zack Martin: See that's what the fight was about. I put lipstick on him while he was taking a nap.
Carey Martin: [to Zack] That wasn't very nice
Carey Martin: [to Cody] and that's not your shade.
Zack Martin: Told you.

Zack Martin: I'm not going to let you throw this away. We've put too much in to it.
Cody Martin: And by "we" you mean "me". I'm the one wearing a dress.
Zack Martin: And you've never looked better.

Zack Martin: This a complete washout! All of the girls are stuck up, phony...
Cody Martin: [about Rebecca] Don't talk about her like that! She's sweet, and she's pure, and everything that's good about life.
Zack Martin: Cody, you just met her!
Cody Martin: And yet, I know all I need to know about her.
Zack Martin: Oh yeah? What's her name?
Cody Martin: Doh!

Carey: What's wrong with your old bikes? They're still perfectly good.
Zack Martin: Mom, their tricycles.

Zack Martin: You need to have confidence. You're such a loser, what's wrong with you.
[smacks Cody on the shoulder]

Zack Martin: Sorry I ruined it for you and Rebecca. I guess I was just being a selfish, greedy, goofball.
Cody Martin: No. You weren't greedy.

Carey: [Zack is dressed as a girl to win a beauty contest] Zack, why are you wearing a skirt?
Zack Martin: I did it so we could win money for bikes.
Carey: Oh, thank goodness!

Cody Martin: I can't believe I thought that a girl could be more useful than a bike!
Zack Martin: It's ok, buddy, we all make mistakes.
Cody Martin: Well, I'm never making that mistake again! From now on, it's just you and me.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Boston Tea Party (#2.17)" (2006)
Maddie: Give me liberty!
Cody Martin: Or give me death!
Zack Martin: Is there a third choice?

Zack Martin: Oh no he di-int!

Carey Martin: I once dated this guy...
[Zack and Cody groan]
Carey Martin: What?
Cody Martin: You fought against City Hall and won.
Zack Martin: And then he dumped you.
Carey Martin: Have I told you this story before?
Zack Martin: No. That's just how all your boyfriend stories end.

Carey Martin: You boys need to do your American History homework
Zack Martin: Mother, there is no American History. Yesterday we got here on the boat and today we bathed in the creek!

Zack Martin: I just had a dream that taught me two things; No matter how small you are, if you're fighting for something you believe in, you could win.
Cody Martin: What's the second thing?
Zack Martin: Bob looks terrible in petticoats.

Carey: What are you doing?
Zack Martin: Counting my armpit hair. One... done.

Carey: [to Cody] That's my little warrior!
Zack Martin: Ha! Your little warrior sleeps with a bunny-rabbit nightlight.

Carey: Wow, how'd you figure that out?
Cody Martin: Zack did.
Carey, Arwin: No, seriously.
Zack Martin: You know, I wish you people would realize that I'm a thoughtful and intelligent person.
Carey: I realize that, honey.
Zack Martin: We're gonna go lay down in front of the bulldozers.
Carey: I spoke too soon!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Health & Fitness (#2.34)" (2007)
Zack Martin: What are you, my mother?

Carey Martin: [to Zack] Honey, you have a problem.
Zack Martin: I do not!
Carey Martin: I found licorice in your underwear drawer!

Cody Martin: [to Cody] You know, this health questionnaire is really interesting. I'd like to show you, but you might eat it.
Zack Martin: Not unless it's made of chocolate.

Zack Martin: Cake is dessert, pie is dessert, ice cream is dessert. Fruit salad is not dessert, it's not even a salad! What the heck is it?

Carey Martin: Zack, do you realize that kids who eat to much sugar increase their risk of getting diabetes?
Zack Martin: So we'll compromise. I won't put sugar on my cake anymore!

Zack Martin: What's going on?
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Cholesterol test.
Cody Martin: Probably the only test Zack could pass.

Chef Paolo: Hey Zack, have you ever dipped chocolate in gravy?
Zack Martin: No.
Chef Paolo: Well, you won't be able to say that anymore.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [Talking about needle] Mr. Moseby's afraid.
Mr. Moseby: Oh, pish posh! I'd laugh at that needle! Ha!
Zack Martin: Well here's your chance. It's right there.
[Mr. Moseby turns around, sees needle, then faints]


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Forever Plaid (#2.6)" (2006)
Zack Martin: The red-headed goalie is mine. Keep your eyes off her
Cody Martin: You can have have her. I like the mid-fielder who's reading. Would you read cody-wody a bedtime story? I knew that you would

Zack Martin: Times up Bob. Please come again
Bob: Okay, Well I did find out that the blonde likes boys who are honest, sincere, and trustworthy.
Zack Martin: Great, if you ever date her, be sure to tell her that you first spotted her through a hole in the walll
Bob: Maybe I'll leave that part out

Soccer Player #1: You know what I really like? When a boy strokes my hair
Soccer Player #2: Yeah, and I really love a foot rub.
Bob: Whoa, this is getting good!
Cody Martin: Is somebody writing this stuff down?
Zack Martin: [Has spent a few seconds writing on wall above the peephole he is using] Got it.

Bob: Hey guys, we've got to get to the park. The ice cream hit a tree and there's ice cream everywhere!
Zack Martin: Who cares? I hit the wall and it's raining girls in there.
Cody Martin: We are unravelling the mystery that is woman.
Bob: So you're peeping.
Cody Martin: For science.
Bob: I love science. That's my favorite subject.

Carey Martin: I thought I taught you to have more respect towards women.
Zack Martin: You did! But those weekends with Dad...
Carey Martin: Enough!

Carey Martin: You're gonna write those girls an apology and an essay on why peeping is wrong. 500 words each.
Zack Martin: 500 words? Couldn't you just ground us?
Carey Martin: 1,000.
Zack Martin: 1,000?
Carey Martin: 2,000. You wanna go for 3?
Cody Martin: Quit while we're behind. You don't even know 3,000 words.

Arwin: All right, guys, in order to properly re-plaster this wall, ironically, we must first make this hole slightly bigger.
Zack Martin: All right!
[hits the wall with hammer]
Arwin: Not that big! We're going to need more plaster. Luckily, Mother got me some for Christmas.
Cody Martin: What'd she get you for your birthday, grout?
[laughs]
Arwin: No, spackle.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Going for the Gold (#2.16)" (2006)
Zack Martin: Woaw! How did you do that?
Cody Martin: Easy I think of a happy place and concentrate on it.
Zack Martin: Well where's your happy place?
Cody Martin: Can't say, you might show up

Cody Martin: So Arwin... you think of your happy place yet?
Arwin: Well first it was a tropical cruise with mother... then a storm came and the waves knocked mother of her chair and she was thrown inot the sea as I yelled "mother throw me the house keys!"
Zack Martin: okay...

Cody Martin: So, Arwin, have you thought of your happy place yet?
Arwin: Well, at first, it was me and Mother on a tropical cruise. But then a storm hit and her wheelchair rolled off the side and I was screaming, "MOTHER! THROW ME THE HOUSE KEYS!"
Zack Martin: Okay...
Arwin: [panting]
Zack Martin: How about a nice cookie?
Arwin: Oh, yeah.
[stares toward the ceiling with a dreamy expression on his face]

Cody Martin: Don't you think it's weird how Irv knew that Arwin did it wrong?
Zack Martin: What do you mean?
Cody Martin: [digs through Irv's bag] The Fonzarelli 22! Do you know what this means?
Zack Martin: I will as soon as you tell me!

Zack Martin: You can take that guy Arwin.
Cody Martin: Maybe not in a donut eating contest!

Cody Martin: The Fonzarelli 22! Do you know what this means?
Zack Martin: I will... as soon as you tell me!
Cody Martin: [Looks at Zack with a stupid face] It means that Irv is cheating!

Zack Martin: I wonder what he was doing in there.
Cody Martin: Irv put diagrams on the toilet paper!
Zack Martin: That's silly! Everyone knows how to use toilet paper!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Orchestra (#3.14)" (2007)
[Mrs. Madigan is terrified that Zack is in her class]
Zack Martin: That's odd. My new math teacher said the same thing when I walked into his class.
Mrs. Madigan: That's because there's a "Beware of Zack" poster in the teacher's lounge.
Zack Martin: Actually, my name stage name is "Nasty Z: The Dark Prince of Awesome!"

Zack Martin: Cody, there's no need to be jealous. Barbara is crazy about you.
Cody Martin: Yeah. She did give me an engraved protractor for my birthday.
Zack Martin: And if that's not nerd love, I don't know what love is.

Cody Martin: Barbara Simka Brownstein, you have betrayed me, and the love that we shared! I was learning Yiddish for you, and all I get in return is... Tsuris! We're through!
[Cody storms out of class, as Zack plays the kettle drum to the beat of his stomping. Cody gives Zack a dirty look before leaving as Zack continues to play the drum]
Zack Martin: [to Mrs. Madigan] And you got me playing the triangle.
[scoff]

[Cody plays a depressing rendition of a famous musical number on the French horn]
Zack Martin: Dude, you're bringing me down. What is that?
Cody Martin: "Ode to Joy".

Zack Martin: Sergei's in love with Barbara and he's going to take her back to Russia and raise llamas.
Cody Martin: What?
Zack Martin: I know. Llamas sound weird. There's more money in alpacas.

Cody Martin: That stupid Sergei thinks he's so great just because he's...
Zack Martin: Great?
Cody Martin: Barbara seems to think so. I never want to see his stupid face again.
Zack Martin: What do you think of the poster I made for your fund-raiser?
[Cody furiously yanks the poster out of Carey's hands and rips it to shreds]
Zack Martin: A simple "I don't like it" would've been fine.

Zack Martin: Cody, you're jealous of a rumor. And I'm not even sure I heard it right.
Cody Martin: [crying] Oh, great! Now I've ruined my life by dumping Barbara,
[squeaky]
Cody Martin: I have NOTHING!
Carey Martin: You have a family that loves you.
Cody Martin: [still crying] I mean something that I care about!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Grounded on the 23rd Floor (#1.5)" (2005)
Zack Martin: What are you doing here?
Maddie: Saving your butt before I kick it!
Zack Martin: [smiling deviously] Is that a threat or a promise?

Zack Martin: Hey there sweet thang!

Carey: You had your underwear dry-cleaned?
Zack Martin: Feels good!

Tuck: The paparazzi are paying $20,000 to get a picture of that wedding.
Zack Martin, Cody Martin: We'd be rich!
Cody Martin: And we could pay mom back!
Zack Martin: We'd be rich!
Cody Martin: We wouldn't be burdens!
Zack Martin: We'd be rich!
Cody Martin: We could give the rest of the money to charity!
Zack Martin: I swear we're not related.

Carey: [talking about baby-sitters] I was thinking maybe Maddie - works in the gift shop. She needs the money, like us.
Cody Martin: Oh, Maddie.
Zack Martin: [to Cody, miming hourglass shape] Baby's got it going on!
Carey: She's got what going where?
Zack Martin: I don't know what I'm saying.
Carey: Yeah, you better not.

Maddie: [to the Twins] So I've re-arranged the candy bar, so tell me, what draws your eye?
Zack Martin: You do, Sweet Thang!
Maddie: Please, some of this candy is older than you.

Carey: We may live in a palace, but we're not royalty.
Zack Martin: I think you're a queen, Mommy.
Carey: Aww. Put a sock in it!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Super Twins (#3.4)" (2007)
Zack Martin: Oh dude! You got X-Ray vision, didn't ya?

Zack Martin: You know, chicks love guys with super powers... I gotta call Maddie!

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Wow, you really do have super powers.
Zack Martin: That's not the kinda thing a guy lies about, baby.

Zack Martin: [after Moseby turned Bob into an adult] Dude they zapped you.
[he taps Bob on the shoulder]
Bob: [pulls away] Unhand me you hooligan!
[holds up Zack's arm]
Bob: Who's little boy is this?

Cody Martin: I guess my wish came true! I have super powers!
Zack Martin: Well...I made the same wish but I can't read your mind.
Cody Martin: You can barely read a book.
Zack Martin: Hey...maybe I have the power to fly!
[climbs on his bed and jumps]
Zack Martin: Up, up, and...
[falls on ground]
Zack Martin: down.

Cody Martin: This stinks!
Zack Martin: Yeah, when you are kids, you have no power.
[looks up]
Zack Martin: Look! A shooting star!
Cody Martin: Quick! Close you eyes and make a wish.
[they do so]
Cody Martin, Zack Martin: [in unison] I wish I had super powers!
[pause]
Cody Martin, Zack Martin: Good wish!
Cody Martin: Well, do you feel any different?
Zack Martin: No. Wait, I feel power! It's swelling inside me, it's building, it's growing, it's...
[passes gas]
Zack Martin: No, it's gas.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Maddie Checks In (#1.3)" (2005)
Cody Martin: The first thing we have to do is to get you an Imperial Suite.
Maddie: Do you know how much those costs?
Zack Martin: Awww, that's sweet! You thought we're gonna pay.
Zack Martin: No, we don't pay here, baby.

[looking at Maddie through their spy hole thing]
Zack Martin: Boy, if I were five years older, two feet taller...
Cody Martin: I'd be squashed!

Zack Martin: Do they have a hall of fame for this stuff?
Mr. Moseby: Yes, it's called prison.

Jason Harrington: Hi.
Maddie: Hi.
Maddie: Look, I'm sorry I pretended to be something I wanted. I just thought that since you were rich, you would be like all other rich guys.
Jason Harrington: Well, I'm not. You pretty much overlooked me.
Maddie: I'm really sorry.
Jason Harrington: So I guess this is good-bye.
Maddie: Yeah... bye
Jason Harrington: You do remember what we do when we say good-bye, right?
Maddie: Yeah, I think so.
Zack Martin: How many times to they have to say goodbye!
Cody Martin: Oh Come on!

London: Gloss me!
Zack Martin: Sorry. We're watching the counter for Maddie. We are not allowed to accept money, make change, or touch any of the merchandise!
London: Is there anything you can do?
Cody Martin: I can shove 12 Gummy Worms up my nose, wanna see?

Maddie: Thanks guys!
Zack Martin: No problem sweet thang!
Maddie: Awwww... Call me in 10 years!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Boston Holiday (#1.26)" (2006)
Zack Martin: [tells Sanjei and cody] This is a sure-fire plan!
Cody Martin: [turns to Sanjei] That's what he says right before we get grounded.

Zack Martin: I consider you more like a friend.
Carey Martin: And friends don't give friends their allowances.

Zack Martin: I've got a plan!

Zack Martin: Hey ladies! Didn't I see you on the cover of I Like Blonde Guys magazine?
[girls leave]
Prince Sanjei: If you were a snake charmer, you'd be dead!
[laughs]

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [Zack steps out of elevator] Playing elevator football again?
Zack Martin: Yeah, you can be the cheerleader.
[Cody's elevator opens]
Zack Martin: Hut, hike!
[tackles Cody]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: [Mr. Moseby walks up from behind] 3,5,7,9, Moseby's gonna kick your behind!

Carey: Zack?
Zack Martin: Mom!
Mr. Babalabaloo: Prince Sanjei!
Prince Sanjei: Mr. Babalabaloo!
Delilah: Carey?
Carey: Delilah?
Mr. Moseby: You two know each other?
Carey: From my book club.
Delilah: So, these are your twins.
Carey: Unfortunately, yes.


"The Suite Life on Deck: Mom and Dad on Deck (#1.16)" (2009)
Kurt: Are you boys... Pardon me! Are you *men* ready for a crazy guys' weekend?
Zack Martin, Cody Martin: Oh, yeah!
Kurt: Nothing but late nights, piles of junk food...
Zack Martin: Mmm!
Kurt: ...hanging out by the pool, scoping out the hot...
Zack Martin, Cody Martin: [On seeing Carey walk in] Mom?
Kurt: Hot moms?
Carey Martin: Surprise!

Carey Martin: I'm so happy to see my babies.
Zack Martin: Mom, we're men now. We shave.
Cody Martin: Yep. First Monday of every month.

Kurt: So why don't the boys and I go have some guy fun while you rest up? Huh?
Cody Martin: Yes.
Zack Martin: That'd be great.
Carey Martin: I get it. I crashed your guys' weekend.
Kurt, Zack Martin, Cody Martin: No, no.
Cody Martin: Not at all.
Zack Martin: Maybe a little.
Kurt: Totally.

Carey Martin: [Looking at the bill] An anchor? Zack, how do you break an anchor?
Zack Martin: Why do you always assume it was me?
[Carey looks at Zack suspiciously]
Zack Martin: Okay, it was me.

Kurt: [Checking out the bill] How do you break a propeller?
Zack Martin: Easy. You drop an anchor on it.

Zack Martin: [about Carey] If she stays, she'll be pinching our cheek every day in front of girls all over the world.
Cody Martin: They'll be mocking us in 45 different languages!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: To Catch a Thief (#1.11)" (2005)
Esteban: No one accuses Esteban Julio Ricardo Armarzo Hermetez
Zack Martin: No one's got the time

Esteban: No one calls Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez a thief!
Zack Martin: No one's got the time!

Cody Martin: So, we're grounded?
Carey: Grounded in a suite full of video games and TV? No, you're spending the day with me picking my outfit for my acts.
Zack Martin: With shoes?
Carey: Lots and lots of shoes.
Cody Martin, Zack Martin: Noooo!

Zack Martin: We gotta catch him.
Cody Martin: But how? We're only 12 and last week you got beat up by a girl.

[Maddie is carrying London's dog Ivana, into London's suite]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: I'm sorry about the movie. I didn't know it was a cat flick.
[sees leaves on the floor]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: What are all these leaves doing here?
Zack Martin: Don't come closer. You'll step on the trap I set for the jewel thieves.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Have you two totally lost it?
Cody Martin: You're the one talking to a dog!
Maddie Fitzpatrick: And she agrees with me. You've lost it.

Zack Martin: it says, this is the same stuff used by the CIA!
Cody Martin: Cool! Where did you get it?
Zack Martin: Burger Barn!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Rumors (#1.15)" (2005)
Zack Martin: Boy, smart people are dumb.

Cody Martin: [after dyeing his hair, which turned out to be very red] Oh, no! The box said it was supposed to be a honey-mist auburn!
Zack Martin: Well, honey, you missed auburn big time!

Zack Martin: Way to go, Little Red Riding Nerd.
Cody Martin: At least when I go away it won't be in handcuffs.

Zack Martin: That's right. I'm Cody, the smart one!
Cody Martin: And I'm Zack, the dumb one. Dopey, dopey, do.
Zack Martin: Don't push it.

Zack Martin: I would have to say President Carter... he, uh, nails things, uh, builds things, builds houses for uh, nuns, uh, cold people, poor people! Builds houses for poor people! Because I believe people should have a place to sleep and play video games.

Cody Martin: [sees the man for the Weekend Washington is here; hurries to Zack and pulls him away from Maddie.] Zack! The guy from the Weekend Washington is here! He's here to interview me and I can't be me because I don't look like me, I'm supposed to look like you since you look like me you've gotta be me!
Zack Martin: I can't help you.
Cody Martin: Why?
Zack Martin: 'Cause I have no idea what you've just said.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Doin' Time in Suite 2330 (#3.20)" (2008)
Carey Martin: Apparently in your room, there's too much fun. This time, you're grounded in the living room.
Zack Martin: OK.
[switches on TV]
Carey Martin: And no TV.
[takes remote off Zack and switches TV off]
Zack Martin: Oh, man!
Cody Martin: Zack, we don't need TV or video games to entertain ourselves.
Carey Martin: And no cooking.
Cody Martin: Oh, man!

Zack Martin: How did I miss The Cheetah Girls?
Cody Martin: You were tackling that flower maid.
Zack Martin: For a seven-year-old, she was tough. She had a mean left hook!

Cody Martin: You know, it's funny, we've been crawling around in these vents for years without any problems and these things are only meant to carry air.
Zack Martin: And we're bigger than we used to be.
Cody Martin: And if you think about it, I'm amazed that these things can hold us up.
Zack Martin: Well, chalk it up to good old American craftsmanship.
[Vent creaks]
Cody Martin, Zack Martin: Uh-oh!

Carey Martin: I am so sick of this constant cycle of breaking the rules, getting grounded, sneaking out, getting grounded, breaking the rules...
Zack Martin: Well, maybe you can break the cycle this time by not grounding us.

Carey Martin: No laughing in the big house.
Zack Martin: Um, do I get a last meal?
Carey Martin: Yes, and I'm cooking it.
Zack Martin: Aren't I being punished enough?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Not So Suite 16 (#2.10)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Okay, you can't go wrong buying jewlery. When buying diamonds, follow the rules of the four "c's;" Cut, clarity, carat, and color.
Zack Martin: Don't foget about the fifth "c." Crime. Which is the only way were going to get any of this.

Liam Fitzpatrick: You have no friends! Except this creepy dweeb!
Zack Martin: Come over here booger! I'll straighten your teeth!

Zack Martin: You know, none of the salespeople are gonna take us seriously
Cody Martin: Of course they will. We just have to act like we know what we're doing. Suave sophisticated. Ahh naked lady! Aaah more naked ladies! Aaaaah!
Zack Martin: Umm, my brother's just practicing the heimlich maneuver. You can never be too safe!
Snooty Woman: If I sell ya something cheap do you promise to leave and never come back?
Zack Martin: How cheap?
Snooty Woman: The cheapest thing we have is 100 dollars
Zack Martin: Well, all I have is 12 bucks and a bus token. But I need the bus token to get home
Snooty Woman: Tell you what. Keep your money and I'll just throw you out for free!
Cody Martin: But we were just getting to know each other!

Maddie: Aw, Zack that's so sweet. Did anyone else come with you?
Zack Martin: No but I'm ready to PARTY!
[Looks around and sees old people playing BINGO]
Zack Martin: Who died?

Maddie: I love your gift.
Zack Martin: But it wasn't even from me.
Maddie: You came to my party. That's the greatest gift you could have given me.
Zack Martin: Women!
[Maddie pulls him into a hug]
Zack Martin: Women.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: A Prom Story (#1.8)" (2005)
Zack Martin: [excited, to Cody] Did you hear that? Maddy wants me to go to the prom with her! I better practice my kissing.
Cody Martin: [to Zack] Don't look at me!

Zack Martin: No I don't know what the fat content is! Just stick it in the mustard, stick it in your mouth, and walk away!

Maddie: When did you suddenly become so interested in school?
Zack Martin: When you said you wanted someone smart.
Maddie: That may be the most wonderful thing any boy... man has ever said to me.

Zack Martin: Hey there, Sweet Thang! Got any tall, blond, and
[mimes hourglass shape]
Zack Martin: Curvy?
Maddie: Sorry, we're fresh out.

Zack Martin: My English teacher is right. I *am* completely unkempt at everything.
Carey Martin: I think you mean 'inept,' honey.
Zack Martin: You see?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Poor Little Rich Girl (#1.13)" (2005)
London: [tries to open fridge] Your fridge is broken.
Cody Martin: Other side.
London: [opens fridge] Fixed it.
Cody Martin: I'm confused. I thought you hated cheese.
Zack Martin: Yeah, but you love cheese.
Cody Martin: Oh.
London: Oh, they're already in little slices. Cooking is easy.
Cody Martin: So if I'm Zack and I don't eat cheese, does that mean you're the one that likes ham?
Zack Martin: No, we both like ham.
Cody Martin: Then who likes liverwurst?
Zack Martin: No one.
Cody Martin: Then why do they make it?

Cody Martin: Let's start off with something simpler... cereal.
London: Ok. I can handle that. Wait, what goes first the milk or the cereal?
Zack Martin: Doesn't matter as long as you remember the bowl.

Carey Martin: Whatever's in this envelope
[to Cody]
Carey Martin: you're still Cody and
[to Zack]
Carey Martin: you're still Zack.
[Esteban walks by and hears this]
Esteban: Will I still be Esteban?
Carey Martin: Yes.
Esteban: Aw too bad, then I must go get a ton of luggage in room 1217.
[he leaves]
Carey Martin: Before we do...
Zack Martin: Oh no, she's gonna talk.
Carey Martin: this is important. Even if you're you and you're you, I'll still love you if he's you and you're him.
Cody Martin: I couldn't follow that and I'm the smart one.
Carey Martin: Ok, swirly heels, swirly heels.
[to Cody]
Carey Martin: You're definitely Cody and
[to Zack]
Carey Martin: you're definately Zack.
Zack Martin: Alright! Now I can go back to chilling and getting by in school.
[sees his mom's face]
Zack Martin: I mean doing my best.
Carey Martin: It's so nice to have my boys back.

[repeated line]
Zack Martin, London, Maddie, Cody Martin, Carey, Mr. Moseby: WHAT!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Team Tipton (#3.13)" (2007)
Cody Martin: Do you really think that's going to make Maddie want to date you?
Zack Martin: That and this mustache.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [returning from Antarctica; wearing a thick coat and still freezing cold] Hi g-g-g-guys. I'm b-b-b-b-b-back!
Zack Martin: Maddie!
[hugs her]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Zack! Don't let go of me!
Zack Martin: I knew you'd miss me!
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Well, I'm actually still defrosting from Antarctica...
Cody Martin: Hi, Maddie...
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Cody! Hi!
[includes him in the hug]
Esteban: Maddie, you're back!
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Esteban! Hug! Here! Now...
Esteban: Oh, ok -
[does so]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Arwin! Come join us!
Arwin: Oh, I love group hugs, especially with other people!
[joins them all]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: [seeing an elderly guest walk by them] Hey, lady! I could really use the heat!
[the old lady walks away, a bit startled by Maddie's statement]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: After her!
[Zack, Cody, Arwin and Esteban attempt to go after the woman while still crowded around Maddie, who is going with them]

[Zack's still hugging Maddie after her group hug]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Zack, everyone else let go twenty minutes ago. I'm warm now.
Zack Martin: Okay, but just for the record, you're more than warm. You're hot.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Okay, that deserves another hug. Get over here.
[she grabs him]

[Zack is creeped out by a rare insect owned by a convention of entomologists]
Cody Martin: That happens to be a priceless Malaysian Millipede, mister.
Zack Martin: Keep that thing away from me, or I'm gonna millipede in my pants.


"The Suite Life on Deck: Seven Seas News (#2.25)" (2010)
Zack Martin: [news closing] This is Zack Martin saying...
Bailey Pickett: And Bailey Pickett.
Zack Martin: ...keep your head above water. Unless you're a tuna fish, then you'll die!

Bailey Pickett: "Unless you're a tuna fish"?
Zack Martin: That's my catchphrase, come up with your own.
Bailey Pickett: You're an idiot.
Zack Martin: Sorry, that's Cody's catchphrase.

Kirby Morris: Hey, Zack, give me an extra large berry bonanza. But hold the strawberries, blueberries, boysenberries and yogurt.
Zack Martin: That would just be a cup of whipped cream.
Kirby Morris: Yep, bring it on.

Bailey Pickett: We want to know who gets what job for the news show.
Zack Martin: Now, of course, I'll be the anchorman...
[gestures toward the rest of the students]
Zack Martin: ... but what about all these clowns?
Bailey Pickett: How do you know it'll be an anchorman and not an anchorwoman?
London Tipton: Or just an anchor? Hello, people! We are on a ship!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Smart and Smarter (#1.18)" (2005)
Zack Martin: A:I don't know what you are talking about... And B: Oh yes it will!

Zack Martin: You dyslexic people seem to have it so easy...
Bob: Easy? Yeah, the jumbled letters, the humility, the inability to shoot a free throw...
Mr. Forgess: Bob, dyslexia has nothing to do with your basketball performance.
Bob: Yeah, I know, but I was on a roll.

Zack Martin: [to Cody] Well, if you're so smart, what's the capital of North Dakota?
Cody Martin: Bismarck.
Zack Martin: I thought Bismarck was the capital of South Dakota.
Cody Martin: No, that's Pierre.
Zack Martin: So what's the capital of Wyoming?
Cody Martin: Cheyenne.
Zack Martin: Thanks, you just finished my homework... Like shootin' fish in a barrel.

Zack Martin: Test?! How could there be a test? Didn't we just get our report cards? Isn't there some down time before we have to start learning again? Ugh! Why do you keep shoving knowledge down our throats?
Cody Martin: It's school?
Zack Martin: Yeah, and I don't wanna have to spend my summer here eating vegetables and having you tell me what was on TV last night. There's gotta be a way out!
Cody Martin: Yeah. Study.
Zack Martin: Look, you're not gonna take this seriously.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: What the Hey! (#2.21)" (2006)
Cody Martin: I'm Wing Lee! Who are you?
Zack Martin: I'm Cody Martin!
Cody Martin: I hate you

Zack Martin: Sometimes you just gotta say, what the hey!

Cody Martin: What's Mom doing here at the mall?
Zack Martin: I don't know she works like 2 hours a day, she has to spend the rest of her life somewhere.

Cody Martin: [to Zack] You wanna cut school?
Zack Martin: Why not? Look at you, what do you do all day?
Cody Martin: Schoolwork.
Zack Martin: And what do you do when we get home?
Cody Martin: Homework.
Zack Martin: And on the weekends?
Cody Martin: Weekendwork.
Zack Martin: There's no such thing as weekendwork!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Suite Smell of Excess (#2.15)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Zack Martin: Chihuahuas have freakishly large ears? 'Cause I mean compared to their little bodies, they're just like massive.

[Zack and Cody make a hard landing in a parallel universe]
Cody Martin: [groans] I banged my yead on something hard.
Zack Martin: Yeah. *My* head.

Zack Martin: But Bob's parents said he could go bungee jumping.
Carey: And if Bob's parents let him jump off a bridge, would you want to, too?
Zack Martin: If I was attached to a bungee cord.
Carey: Not even if you were attached to my umbilical cord.
Zack Martin: Okay, ew.

Mr. Moseby: Where are you boys going?
Cody Martin: Well, I'm thinking about going to Harvard, and Zack's going to San Quentin.
Zack Martin: On an athletic scholarship!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Ghost in Suite 613 (#1.19)" (2005)
Zack Martin: Arwin, why are you wearing a welding mask?
Arwin: It gives me an air of mystery.
[He puts the mask over his face]
Arwin: [In a Darth Vader voice] The force is strong with this one.

Esteban: We're going to call the spirit.
[lights the candle, but it lights itself]
Esteban: Apparently, the spirit's calling us. Now everybody, join hands.
[all except Esteban hold their own hands]
Esteban: I meant with each other. Be very calm, but relaxed.
[all exhale]
Esteban: Ghostie, if I may call you that, speak to us.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: You are...
Esteban: Maddie's channeling the spirit.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: dooopes!
[chuckles]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Hahaha! You guys are so gullible! I can't believe you fell for that.
Esteban: This beliver should be punished.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: [saying sarcastically] Oooo, I'm so scared!
[table shakes and Maddie whimpers]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: I'm so scared!
Cody Martin: [table rises] Either the table's getting higher, or the floor's getting lower.
Esteban: [hums La Cucaracha] Hmmmm, hmmmmmmm, hmmm, hmmmmm.
London Tipton: What are you doing?
Esteban: The spirit has me on hold.
[suddenly gets "posessed"]
Esteban: Heeeehuuuuuuhhh!
[makes a scary face and turns to London and Cody and talks in s girlish voice]
Esteban: She's here!
[inrehular voice]
Esteban: Oh, hola ghostie!
[gets "reposessed"]
Esteban: Heeeehuuuuuuhhh!
[makes another face and turns to Maddie and Zack]
Esteban: [in the voice of Irene] Who dares to call me in the afterlife?
Cody Martin: [to Zack] It's for you.
Zack Martin: Are you the ghost of Irene?
Esteban: [in Irene's voice] Yeeess, my husband left me, so I'm angry. Now, my spirit is doomed to languish for all eternity!
London Tipton: Does somebody smell...
[sniffs]
London Tipton: pizza?
Esteban: [in Irene's voice] Arrrhhhh, don't ever say that word!
Maddie Fitzpatrick: I love pizza. What are you gonna do about it?
[Esteban makes an evil face]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Aaaahhhh!
[Maddie disappears ino the wall]
Zack Martin: Maddie, no!
London Tipton: Irene, I hate to be a bit of a nudge, but uh, can I have my money back?
Esteban: [in Irene's voice] You will be silent!
London Tipton: Ok, nevermind.
Cody Martin: I-I hate pizza!
[gasps when Blankie floats away]
Cody Martin: Blankie, no!
[disppears into the wall while chasing Blankie]
Zack Martin: Cody? Buddie? Oh, no. Mom's not gonna like this.
London Tipton: So, about that thousand dollars...
[disappears into another wall]
London Tipton: I'll take a chance!
Zack Martin: Esteban, hang up on her!
Esteban: Esteban's gone. Say Aios amigos! Ayayayayayayay!
[dissapears from his seat]

Carey: Cody, when I left, there was a floor under this mess. I'd lilke it back. Could you clean up?
Cody Martin: Pshhh, next, she'll be telling me to take a bath.
[Zack grabs Cody's arm]
Cody Martin: Aaaahhh!
Zack Martin: [comes out of the mess] Hahaha! Got cha!
Cody Martin: No, got you!
[pins Zack to the ground]
Carey: Cody, why are you wiping the floor with your brother's face? Well, if it gets the stain out.
Cody Martin: Mom, Zack scared me again.
Carey: Zack, you know Cody's...
[hesitates]
Carey: sensative. Why do you do it?
Zack Martin: 'Cause it's my job.
Carey: Well, you're fired. Clean up.
Zack Martin: You should've seen your face! Oh, I can show it to you.
[impersonates Cody]

Muriel: Her name was Irene and she was beautiful!
London Tipton: Oo, just think me, but not as rich, or pretty, and dead.
Muriel: Anyways, in 1940, Irene and her husband checked in to this hotel, but he left.
Zack Martin: What happened?
London Tipton: He went off to war. She waited 3 years, but he never came back.
Zack Martin: So, he died in battle?
London Tipton: No, he...
[Muriel stuffs the feather duster in London's mouth]
Muriel: He mat some Italian babe and opened up a pizza parlor in Naples.
London Tipton: [spits out feathers] She got so mad, she threw the silver brush he had given her at the mirror.
Muriel: The mirror shattered into a million pieces and a chard flew out, and that was the end of that. Ccccccrrrrrrr!
[putting her finger across her throat]
Muriel: Good luck.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: French 101 (#2.2)" (2006)
Cody Martin: I'm going to go speak the language of love with MY girlfriend.
Zack Martin: [sarcastically] Darn you, DARN YOU TO HECK!

Zack Martin: Hey beautiful. You know I don't always smell like this. Unless you like it

Zack Martin: Hey, hot babe.
Jolie: Je ne comprende pas, je suis désolé.
Zack Martin: Oh, that's a cool name. Désolé!
Mr. Moseby: No, Zack, "désolé" means "sorry". She can't understand you. And her name is Jolie.
Zack Martin: Oh, okay.

Cody Martin: So, how do I look? And be brutal.
Zack Martin: Like a backstabbing French girl stealing jerk in a goofy sweater vest.
Cody Martin: You really think it's goofy?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: A Tale of Two Houses (#3.15)" (2007)
Kurt: Well, boys, you better do your homework. It's a school night.
Zack Martin: Mom always lets us watch "Wrestle Smackathon".
Kurt: Oh, really? Cause on the "Don't" list,
[picks up the list provided by Carey and reads it]
Kurt: "Don't let them convince you I let them watch 'Wrestle Smackathon' before they do their homework".

Zack Martin: Right. Jelly babies, cherry soda and cheese products in a can. All the ingredients of romance!

Abby: [After Kurt walks in dressed as a Viking] Why is there a Viking in your apartment?
Zack Martin: Er... we ordered German take-out?
Kurt: First of all, Vikings are from Scandinavia. And second of all, I'm their father.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: I Want My Mummy (#2.38)" (2007)
Zack Martin: Don't worry. I've got a plan.
Cody Martin: No.
Zack Martin: You don't even know what I was thinking.
Cody Martin: You were thinking of wrapping me up in that gauze, going and getting the real mummy, and then switching us back later.
Zack Martin: OK, so you do know what I was thinking.

Cody Martin: I've got a bad feeling about this.
Zack Martin: Come on, what could possibly go wrong?
Cody Martin: I have to go potty.

Zack Martin: [after seeing Cody being taken away to the hotel's mummy exhibition dressed as a mummy] Great! Now I have to pay $32.50 just to see my brother!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Arwin That Came to Dinner (#3.8)" (2007)
Arwin: Time for bed!
[rips off his uniform, revealing his PJ's]
Zack Martin: [looks at Arwin funny] Why do you wear your pajamas under your clothes?
Arwin: Well, if I wore them *over* my clothes, then that would be silly, wouldn't it?

Zack Martin: [looks around at all the owl figurines and picks one up] Arwin, don't you get creeped out from all these things staring at you all the time?
Arwin: Oh, no. You really just can't look them in the -
[turns around and looks right into the eyes of the owl Zack is holding]
Arwin: Ey-ey-eye...

Enid: [as Arwin opens the door] Hi Arwin, do you have any sugar?
[Arwin shuts the door]
Zack Martin: Arwin... was that a girl?
[Arwin opens the door again to check]
Enid: Oh, I...
Arwin: [cuts her off as he slams the door again] Yup.
Zack Martin: Why didn't you give her any sugar...?
Arwin: Why should I give her my sugar?
Zack Martin: 'Cause you might get some *sugar* back.
Arwin: Well, if she gave the same sugar back, then what's the point?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Scary Movie (#2.26)" (2006)
Zack Martin: We didn't see that movie, right Cody?
Cody Martin: It was Zack's idea.
Zack Martin: Thanks man.

Carey Martin: [finding Zack in the lobby, still sleepwalking] Zack, wake up.
Mr. Moseby: You can't wake him up. I have tried everything.
Carey Martin: Zack, I'm making chocolate chip pancakes.
Zack Martin: Cool, I'll have twelve.
[he looks around]
Zack Martin: Hey, where am I? What am I doing in the lobby in my pajamas?
[he looks at Cody wrapped up in bubble wrap]
Zack Martin: Although, as silly outfits go, I come in second.
Carey Martin: You were sleepwalking, trying to protect yourself from zombie moms.
Zack Martin: Well, that's strange, because we didn't go to see that scary movie, did we, Cody?
Cody Martin: It was Zack's idea!
Zack Martin: Thanks, man.

Mr. Moseby: [when he catches Zack moving the lobby furniture] A-HA! I caught you red-handed! OK mister, let's have a litle talk about this, shall we? Yes! You're the one who's putting all the furniture...
[Zack continues]
Mr. Moseby: Where are you going? Whoa, whoa... Listen up. I want you to listen to me young man. I don't want you putting any more furniture... What are you doing? Where were you when I moved out of my parents' place?
Mr. Moseby: [while Zack is sleepwalking] Now Zack, stop it!
Zack Martin: [in a monotone] Yes, stop zombies.
Mr. Moseby: No, stop re-decorating!


"The Suite Life on Deck: Parrot Island (#1.2)" (2008)
Cody Martin: Here, Bailey, this will cheer you up. I ordered it just for you. It's a seaweed smoothie with a broccoli boost.
Zack Martin: We want her to cheer up, not throw up

Emma Tutweiller: Anyway, this unscheduled stop to look for London on this tropical island presents us with a unique educational opportunity.
Zack Martin: We're gonna learn how to surf?
Woody: Yeah! Cowabunga! Hang Eleven!
Cody Martin: It's "hang ten."
Woody: Not when you got eleven toes!
Zack Martin: You have six toes on one foot?
Woody: Nope, eight and three!

Bailey Pickett: It's all my fault London left.
Zack Martin: It's not your fault. There were a lot of things London hated besides you. That came out wrong.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Prince and the Plunger (#1.6)" (2005)
Zack Martin: While Mom is being all girly with her boyfriend, she'll leave us alone.
Cody Martin: And she'll be happy!
Zack Martin: And we can play video games.
Cody Martin: And she'll be happy!
Zack Martin: And she won't make us make our beds!
Cody Martin: And she'll be happy!
Zack Martin: You're so selfish, can't you think of anything else but mom's happiness?

Cody Martin: [sees Muriel sitting on the couch watching TV and eating] Have you ever actully seen her clean anything?
Zack Martin: Yeah the food out of the fridge.

Zack Martin: [to Cody About Arwin] This is a disaster! All he can talk about is plumbing!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Lost in Translation (#2.23)" (2006)
Zack Martin: [wearing a kimono] Nice tie.
Mr. Moseby: [looks at Zack's kimono] Nice dress.
Zack Martin: Touche.

Mr. Moseby: Maddie, did you stock the sushi candy?
Maddie Fitzpatrick: And the seaweed cookies. Yum!
Zack Martin: What are we having, a convention of seals?
[he barks and claps like a seal; Maddie throws him a piece of candy]
Mr. Moseby: No, an important Japanese company is coming, and it would be swell if they came again next year. So I would like them to feel at home.
Cody Martin: How come you never want us to feel at home?
Mr. Moseby: You're kidding, right?

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [Cody speaks to Maddie in a foreign language] Okay, should I thank you or slap you?
Cody Martin: It's international week at school and I've learned to say things in ten different languages.
Zack Martin: And I've learned to snore in ten different languages.


"The Suite Life on Deck: seaHarmony (#1.11)" (2008)
Cody Martin: [reading out Debby's dating questionnaire answers] Now, let's see. Favourite flower, iris. Favourite tree, pine. And ooh, that's interesting. She likes corncob art. Folky.
Zack Martin: Stupidy.

Zack Martin: Hey Marion. Speaking of Marion, don't you ever want to get married and have kids?
Mr. Moseby: Agh. Why on earth would I want to do that? Besides, I'm married to the ship.
Zack Martin: Lemme guess. She was a cute little sailboat when you met. But as soon as you got married, she blew up big.
[makes ship sounds]
Zack Martin: I'm sure you two will be very happy together.
Mr. Moseby: Are you naturally annoying or do you have to work at it?
Zack Martin: Hey, why don't you fill out this singles' cruise questionairre?
Mr. Moseby: Hey, why don't I not?
Zack Martin: I'm just trying to help you find a little happiness.
Mr. Moseby: Then leave.

Zack Martin: Here's an easy question. What's your favourite food?
Mr. Moseby: Oo in the summer it's a lovely fruit salad with a delicate pomegranate dressing. However in the winter I prefer something hot do you know, like a steaming casserole.
Zack Martin: A-actually, that doesn't fit in the box. And frankly, I just can't spell it.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Footloser (#1.7)" (2005)
Max: Zack, would you like to be my partner?
Zack Martin: Sure. I'd love to be on TV, and I also have the face for it.
Cody Martin: I have the same face!
Zack Martin: Yeah, but your face can't dance.

Cody Martin: Hey, Max!
Max: Hey, Cody! Where's Zack?
Zack Martin: I'm Zack! Hey, there, sweet thang!
Max: He hurt himself, didn't he?
Cody Martin: Yep.

Zack Martin: Mom! We're gonna be on TV!
Carey Martin: [worriedly] Oh, boy. What did you set on fire?


"The Suite Life on Deck: The Ghost and Mr. Martin (#3.11)" (2010)
Woody Fink: [dressed for Mardi Gras, including a mask] So? We're in New Orleans! Who's ready to celebrate Mardi Gras?
Cody Martin: Nobody. Mardi Gras isn't for three months.
Woody Fink: Dang it! Can I still wear the mask?
Zack Martin: I'm sure the people of New Orleans would appreciate it.

Zack Martin: There's some seriously strange stuff happening here. Mr. Moseby was talking about some ghost captain, and I think he's haunting the ship. He is turning off lights and turning on blenders and typing on my computer...
Cody Martin: Wow, he's got more skills than you do.

Cody Martin: So are we all heading to the French Quarter? I can't wait to have some gumbo. It's delicious to eat *and* fun to say. Gumbo!
Woody Fink: And jambalaya.
Cody Martin, Woody Fink: Jambalaya!
Zack Martin: I'm sorry I can't join you jamba-losers, but I got an F on my history paper, and Miss Tutweiller won't let me go ashore until I rewrite it.
Cody Martin: Well, I told you not to write your history paper about a video game.
Zack Martin: Hey! "Knights of Horror" was based in the Middle Ages, and I did a lot of research. I made it all the way to level 8.
Cody Martin: I can't believe you made it to *grade* 8.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Loosely Ballroom (#2.25)" (2006)
[Esteban teaches Zack, Cody, Janice, and Jessica to dance]
Esteban: You must hold each other so closely...
[places magazines between their bodies]
Esteban: ...that this magazine won't fall.
Zack Martin: Excellent. You got a thinner magazine?

Esteban: [after winning the dance competition] I would like to thank everyone from the heart of my bottom!
Zack Martin: Uh, you mean, "bottom of my heart".
Esteban: That too.

Zack Martin: Have I ever told you that I love you?
Cody Martin: No.
Zack Martin: Hmm... you'd think I would have.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Sleepover Suite (#3.7)" (2007)
London Tipton: Why did you just kiss the exterminator?
Zack Martin: Because she may never come back.

Zack Martin: Now I know not to kiss two girls at the same party...
[Zack pauses for a second]
Zack Martin: Unless the first girl leaves.

Zack Martin: Dude, this statue of London is freaking me out! Its eyes, they follow you everywhere!
Cody Martin: As opposed to the real London, whose eyes just stare blankly into space.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Books and Birdhouses (#2.9)" (2006)
Zack Martin: Why don't you bake me cookies whenever I get a C?
Carey Martin: There's not enough dough in the world
Zack Martin: Well it's true!

Mr. Woodburn: Remember, this counts towards one third of your final grade.
Cody Martin: [shrieks]
Zack Martin: Would you relax? You're gonna do fine.
Bob: No, he won't. He's hopeless.
Zack Martin: Not helping!
Bob: Not lying!

Zack Martin: Hey, why don't you make cookies for me when I get a C?
Carey Martin: There's not enough dough in the world.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Free Tippy (#2.5)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Aw, Tippy!
Zack Martin: That wasn't Tippy.

[Zack & Cody were mistaken for Orphan by a hotel patron]
Carey: Are you talking about my sons?
Zack Martin: Mom? I can't believe we finally found you!

Cody Martin: Which way do you think he went?
Zack Martin: I'd say standing up.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Rock Star in the House (#1.17)" (2005)
Zack Martin: If you like video games, come over to my place and I'll crush you like the pretty boy you are!
Jesse McCartney: Hey, that's Mr. Pretty Boy to you!

Zack Martin: [after stealing Jesse McCartney's lucky bracelet] I'll tell him i found it.
Maddie: You're gonna tell Jesse McCartney that you found his lucky bracelet that he put in his drawer on his beside table.
London: [clap, clap, clap, clap, clap] Good plan.
Maddie: [clap, clap, clap, clap, clap] Bad plan.

Jesse McCartney: [after Mattie and London are removed] You hang out with those girls? What are they like two years older then you?
Zack Martin: Three.
Jesse McCartney: [high-fives Zack] Impressive dude!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Band in Boston (#1.9)" (2005)
Zack Martin: What rhymes with orange?
Max: Nothing! Everyone knows nothing rhymes with orange!
Tapeworm: Oh yea what about... phnaorange
Max: Thank you, Dr.Suess.

Zack Martin: We're gonna beat you in the battle of the bands.
Maddie: No you're not.
Zack Martin: Yeah, we have great looks, a great song and... we're 12 and cute!
Maddie: Yeah. well I'm 15 and hot.
Zack Martin: You are good.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Hotel Hangout (#1.1)" (2005)
Cody Martin: What kind of name is Tapeworm?
Max: The kind you get when you eat 20 hotdogs in 2 minutes!
Cody Martin: Wow! Beats my record!
Zack Martin: By 18

Zack Martin: Mom, what are you doing?
Carey Martin: Apparently I'm embarassing myself in fron of you're new friends. You made friends!
Max: Maybe...


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Election (#2.7)" (2006)
Cody Martin: I have your hair and your smile!
Zack Martin: Yeah, but on me, it works!

Cody Martin: Mom agrees with me!
Zack Martin: Mom's on my side now!
[in a little kid's voice]
Zack Martin: Right, Mommy?
Carey: Aw, I'm on both of your sides.
Zack Martin: That's a cop out!
Carey: Yes it is. Have some cake.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Neither a Borrower Nor a Speller Bee (#2.12)" (2006)
Zack Martin: [to Maynard] Your a building on feet!

Carey Martin: Didn't I tell you? Neither a borrower nor lender be?
Zack Martin: Well, I'm halfway there! I never lend.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Heck's Kitchen (#2.4)" (2006)
Zack Martin, Carey Martin, London Tipton, Maddie Fitzpatrick: [stomping on a lobster] What?

Cody Martin: [Cody has severly burned a seafood medley] Oh no, my seafood medley!
Zack Martin: It's seafood deadly now.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Twins at the Tipton (#2.11)" (2006)
Zack Martin: Wait! Wait! Look! I'm an immature wreck, see?
[Zack picks up a drink and splashes it on his face]
Zack Martin: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow, that was soda! Hey look, real tears!
[Zack starts walking but he runs into the door and falls backwards onto the floor]

Zack Martin: Come on... there are lots of fish in the sea.
Cody Martin: I don't want a fish. I want Irma.
[cries]


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Back in the Game (#2.35)" (2007)
Zack Martin: [yelling at Jamie, who is leaving] The Jamie I knew wasn't a quitter! But if that's what you want, then fine! Just keep on walking!
[to Daryl]
Zack Martin: That was a poor choice of words.

Zack Martin: [over the phone, to his wheelchair-bound friend, Jamie] Dude, you gotta get over here right now! Jessica Simpson is in the hotel!
Carey Martin: Jessica Simpson is here? Oh, maybe I can get her to sing for our PTA fundraiser.
[holds up a burnt pastry]
Carey Martin: I don't think the bake sale's going to go very well.
Zack Martin: [putting the phone to his chest so Jamie can't hear him] Don't be silly, Jessica Simpson's not here!
[talking to Jamie again]
Zack Martin: Oh, I just saw her walk by! Hi, Jessica!
[gives the phone to Cody]
Cody Martin: [tries to do his best Jessica Simpson impression, complete with Southern accent] Hey y'all! Wanna come hang out with me by the pool? I need someone to help rub in my suntan lotion!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: A Midsummer's Nightmare (#2.22)" (2006)
Zack Martin: Hey Vannessa, we have something in common- we both like staring at you.

Agnes: What part did you get Zackykins?
Zack Martin: Lysander; sounds like a mouthwash.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Cookin' with Romeo and Juilet (#1.14)" (2005)
Cody Martin: Mr. Moseby! Mr. Moseby! It's a hideous monster, and it's coming this way!
Mr. Moseby: Boys, I can assure you there are no such things as monsters.
Zack Martin: Oh, yeah? Look!
Ilsa: [enters lobby] I'm back.
[Zach, Cody, Mr. Moseby and Carey scream]
Carey: Quick, get behind me, boys and don't look her in the mol... the eye!
[Mr. Moseby tries to hide, but ends up facing Ilsa]
Ilsa: Mr. Moseby.
Mr. Moseby: Ms. Schiklegoobermeyger.
Ilsa: Actually, since you had me fired from the Tipton organization, I've gotten married.
Carey: You're kidding.
Ilsa: No. My married name is Ilsa Schiklegoobermeyger-Vanhelsingdekeppeloogerhoffer.
Carey: You're kidding.

Carey: Cody, don't you have something to say to your brother?
Cody Martin: I'm sorry I flicked flour in your face.
Carey: Zack?
Zack Martin: I'm sorry you're my brother.


"The Suite Life on Deck: Family Thais (#2.6)" (2009)
Cody Martin: [shooting a video diary for Bailey] Hi, Bailey. It's me, Cody. This is my "missing you" diary. Day one, hour one: I miss you! A lot.
Zack Martin: [suddenly hovering over Cody's shoulder] Bailey, you're dating a loser!
Cody Martin: [turning camera off] Zack! Now I'm going to have to rewind and re-shoot that!
Zack Martin: Oh, then I did you a favor.

Cody Martin: I'm not going on your stupid date.
Zack Martin: Alright. I didn't want to have to play this card, but... you cannot say no to being a wingman. It's in the guy rulebook.
Cody Martin: There is no "guy rulebook".
Zack Martin: But there is. Yeah, it's called the "Guy-ble".
Cody Martin: Nice try.
Zack Martin: Don't make me call the "guy-thorities".
Cody Martin: I'm leaving.
Zack Martin: You should read my favorite chapter: "Duderonomy".


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Cody Goes to Camp (#1.10)" (2005)
Cody Martin: London drives?
Zack Martin: Yeah, but not very fast. That's why it took us five hours to get here.

Zack Martin: You're not going to tell, are you?
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Well, only if you do it.
Zack Martin: Grab her!
[London and Zack drag her away]
London: [to Esteban] You saw nothing.
Esteban: Okay. Have fun!


"The Suite Life on Deck: Showgirls (#1.5)" (2008)
Cody Martin: [talking about Miss Tutweiller] Looks like she's busy with Moseby.
Bailey Pickett: Yeah, look at those two. Do you think they're courtin'?
Zack Martin: First of all, no one's been "courtin'" since 1922, which, by the way, was the last time Moseby had a date.

Emma Tutweiller: [to the students] You people should be ashamed of yourselves. Do you think this class is a joke?
[Zack is discreetly listening to a Red Sox game on a radio]
Zack Martin: [jumping up; shouting] Yes!
[sees Miss Tutweiller staring at him]
Zack Martin: ... Unless the right answer is no!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Ask Zack (#2.19)" (2006)
Zack Martin: Cody, if you don't give me a job in the paper, I'll keep on making scary monster sounds when you're sleeping.
Cody Martin: You're Mr. Spooky Head?

Zack Martin: Just ask me out honey and hope I say yes.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Graduation (#3.1)" (2007)
Zack Martin: I don't deserve this.
Carey Martin: Sure you do, honey. We are all so proud of you.
Zack Martin: But...
Kurt: Yeah pal, you made us so proud.
Zack Martin: No, I didn't! Cause I didn't graduate!
[everyone gasps]
Mr. Moseby: [sarcastic tone] There's a shock.

Cody Martin: You know, Mom's really gonna be mad when she finds out you're not graduating.
Zack Martin: Well she can't be too mad when she finds out I saved a life.
Cody Martin: Whose life did you save?
Zack Martin: [trying to shove an apple in his mouth] Here, choke on this.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Big Hair & Baseball (#1.16)" (2005)
Mr. Moseby: Ho many times have I told you not to disturb the guests?
Cody Martin: 2708
Zack Martin: But it never gets old...

Cody Martin: Hey mom! e got 3 tickets so you can take us to the game tomorro!
Zack Martin: Won't that be fun?
Mr. Moseby: [scene change] Not fun!


"The Suite Life on Deck: Maddie on Deck (#1.13)" (2009)
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Zack, win!
Zack Martin: What am I gonna do? I mean, I'm not just gonna get mad jousting skills.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Zack, I believe in you!
[kisses Zack]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Now go get him, tiger.


"The Suite Life on Deck: Bon Voyage (#3.6)" (2010)
Zack Martin: You know what I love more than funnel cake? Nothing!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Risk It All (#2.31)" (2007)
Carey Martin: Aw, guys, it's still alright if you didn't win the trip to Hawaii. Although, I did always want to go to Hawaii... I want to lie down on the beach, with the sound of the waves crashing... the sun in my face... the wind in my hair...
[Breaks down crying]
Carey Martin: Oh, I wanted that trip so bad!
Cody Martin: Don't worry, little lady. You're getting tears all over my blue suede shoes.
Zack Martin: Forget it. She's going to be crying all night. We'll never be able to get any sleep.
[the twins remember their consolation prize]
Cody Martin: Wait a minute. Didn't we win a free room in this hotel?
Zack Martin: [mimics the "Risk It All" host] That's right, Cody-cito! You freak!
Cody Martin: Race you to the front desk!
[They exit]
Carey Martin: [begins crying again, then hits the back of her head on the chair] Ow!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Kisses and Basketball (#1.22)" (2006)
Zack Martin: [Zack and Max both reach for a piece of cake at the same time and their hands touch. They both jerk their hands back immediately] I'm not hungry!
Max: Me neither!
Carey: Huh... Wonder what's wrong with them?
Arwin: Isn't it obvious?
[Leans in closer toward Carey]
Arwin: They're not hungry!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Arwinstein (#3.12)" (2007)
Zack Martin: Arwin, there's something in the basement in your secret room!
Arwin: [anxious] I don't know anything about a secret room.
Cody Martin: [insisting] The one behind the bookcase!
Arwin: I don't know anything about a bookcase.
Zack Martin: Arwin!
Arwin: [walking away] I don't know any Arwin!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Ah, Wilderness (#2.27)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Oh, no! We've been ransacked by a bear!
Zack Martin: Yeah! A bear with feet the size of a racoon!
Cody Martin: Oh, no! We've been ransacked by a bear-coon!


"The Suite Life on Deck: The Silent Treatment (#3.1)" (2010)
Cody Martin: My Bu! What did you do to my Bu? Now it's just goo!
Zack Martin: Oh, well, boo hoo for you!


"The Suite Life on Deck: The Suite Life Sets Sail (#1.1)" (2008)
Bailey Pickett: [noticing Zack's room] What a mess!
Zack Martin: Oh, no! You're not one of those neat freaks, are you? Because I've dealt with one of those before.
Bailey Pickett: No, man, I'm just one of the guys.
[Zack looks inside Bailey's suitcase and finds a bra in it]
Bailey Pickett: Uh, that's my girlfriend's.
Zack Martin: Well, I didn't think it was yours. So, uh, what's your girl like?
Bailey Pickett: She's very intelligent and she's got a great personality.
Zack Martin: Arf, arf.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Aptitude (#2.39)" (2007)
Cody Martin: I'm the smart one! I'm the smart one!
Zack Martin: Oh yeah, What's the capital of Honduras?
Cody Martin: Tegucigalpa.
Zack Martin: You really are the smart one!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Suite Life Goes Hollywood: Part 1 (#2.36)" (2007)
Zack Martin: [Hugs Maddie] Bye Maddie
[Doesn't let go]
Carey Martin: Zack, remember how we talked about people's personal space?
Zack Martin: Yeah, and I like Maddie's space the best.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Miniature Golf (#2.33)" (2007)
Cody Martin: I just hope you don't act like a jerk again around Ella.
Zack Martin: No, no, I'm going to be a perfect gentleman. And we're going back to Putt Putt Party and I'm gonna politely pummel her to a pulp.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Summer of Our Discontent (#3.2)" (2007)
Zack Martin: [sees a pretty girl in his class] Hi, I'm Zack. And you are?
Haley: Shy! Painfully shy. Don't look at me!
[puts a paper bag over her head]


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Pilot Your Own Life (#1.23)" (2006)
Zack Martin: I'm sure you'll do fine.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: I'm sure you'll do fine! What do you know?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Have a Nice Trip (#2.18)" (2006)
Zack Martin: [entering the Tipton while talking to Cody] I'm telling you. She's full of evil. I bet her head spins around.
[swirls finger]


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Lip Synchin' in the Rain (#3.9)" (2007)
Cody Martin: [to Moseby] I prepared it in the original Greek.
Zack Martin: You mean the original geek?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Baggage (#3.6)" (2007)
Zack Martin: Hey, Millicent, we'll take a chocolate Crispy Bar.
Cody Martin: Heh, it's my money. We'll take some Twisty Corn Puffs.
Zack Martin: Crispy Bar.
Cody Martin: Twisty Puffs.
Zack Martin: Crispy Bar.
Cody Martin: Twisty Puffs.
Millicent: [interrupts them] Okay, that's it! It's because of you people that I wake up in the middle of the night screaming! Well, I kinda did that before... but it's gotten worse since I started working here! Eat this
[reaches for a magazine]
Millicent: and LIKE IT!
Zack Martin: Wow, Millicent, I've never seen you stand up for yourself like this.
Millicent: Yeah, it feels good.
[she falls to the ground unconscious]


"The Suite Life on Deck: Das Boots (#3.5)" (2010)
Zack Martin: [speaking into sub radio to S.S. Tipton] S.O.S.! S.O.S.!
London Tipton: [grabbing radio] No! We don't have time for spelling! Besides, we need help, not sauce!
Woody Fink: Hey! Speak for yourself. This drumstick's getting a little dry.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Birdman of Boston (#2.28)" (2006)
Zack Martin: [filming the egg] Make it do something.
Cody Martin: It's an egg. What do you want it to do? Stupid egg tricks?
Zack Martin: [interestedly] Can it?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Christmas at the Tipton (#1.21)" (2005)
[Mary and Joseph, two new guests at the Tipton, are about to have a baby]
Cody Martin: Isn't this weird? Mary and Joseph are traveling together...
Zack Martin: On Christmas Eve...
Maddie: And there's no room for them in the inn...
Arwin: And a child is born.
Esteban: What a coincidence!
London: I don't get it.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Nurse Zack (#2.29)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Just because I like to cook and clean doen't mean I can't be tough and macho.
[takes drink from his mom's cup]
Zack Martin: You just drank out of mom's 'sicky' cup.
Cody Martin: [screams like a girl] Ahhhhhh! Ewww!
[scrapes tongue with finger]
Cody Martin: . Blech!
Zack Martin: Yeah, that's tough and macho.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Commercial Breaks (#1.25)" (2006)
Zack Martin: This is great! This is our chance to get on TV!
Cody Martin: Yeah, I always thought you'd be on TV. I just assumed you'd be in handcuffs.
Zack Martin: You mean, as a magician?
Cody Martin: [sarcastically] Yeah, that's it.


"The Suite Life on Deck: The Kidney of the Sea (#1.4)" (2008)
[Zack seems to be drowning, a la Jack Dawson]
Zack Martin: Never let go. Never let go.
Mr. Moseby: It's a hot tub! Just stand up!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Bowling (#2.13)" (2006)
[repeated line]
Zack Martin, Cody Martin, Carey, Mr. Moseby, London, Maddie: WHAT!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Hotel Inspector (#1.4)" (2005)
Zack Martin: So is the evil hotel inspector gone yet?
Ilsa: No, she is right here.
Zack Martin: Whoa! What's that on your face?
[Carey covers his mouth]
Mr. Moseby: It's a beauty mark!
Cody Martin: But it has a hair on it!
[Carey covers his mouth]
Carey: It's good I don't have triplets! I would run out of hands!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Dad's Back (#1.20)" (2005)
Carey: Time to do your homework.
Cody Martin: I already did mine.
Zack Martin: You disgust me.


"The Suite Life on Deck: The Mommy and the Swami (#1.12)" (2009)
Cody Martin: Ahhh! Wow, that was the most invigorating climb of my life!
Zack Martin: [wheezing and coughing] I need to go back I think I dropped a lung.


"The Suite Life on Deck: When in Rome... (#1.14)" (2009)
Zack Martin: This pizza-in-a-cone is a-maaa-zing! It's all the fun of ice cream, with the nutritional goodness of pizza!
Cody Martin: I will not put that garbage in my body. Now, let's look for Gigi's dumpster; I want leftovers!
Gigi: [Escorting two cooks out of her restaurant] Get out! You're fired! You don't even know the difference between a tortellini and a tortelloni!
Cody Martin: I do! Tortellini are ring-shaped pastas stuffed with a meat and cheese, while tortelloni are round or rectangular, stuffed with a mixture of cheese and vegetables.
Zack Martin: And Cowboyghetti has spaghetti-shaped lassos and horse-shaped meatballs!
Gigi: [to Cody] I'm desperate. You're hired!
[to Zack, unenthusiastically]
Gigi: You can help.
Zack Martin: I think the Cowboyghetti thing really put it over the top!