Cody Martin
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Quotes for
Cody Martin (Character)
from "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" (2005)

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"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Day Care (#2.3)" (2006)
Cody Martin: [grabbing the other walkie-talkie] We are dealing with an evil genius.
Maddie: Hmm, what's this?
[picks up a rose with a card attached]
Maddie: "To Maddie, you make me wish I was a better person. Love, Randall."
[pauses]
Maddie: Aww, that is so sweet.
Zack Martin: I can't believe I'm losing you to a younger man!

Zack Martin: You'll be surprised to see how this father to be has corralled these young suckers.
[they turn the corner to see Cody bound and gagged]
Maddie: [taking the gag off Cody] How could you let this happen?
Cody Martin: Well, the blonde one tripped me and the rest is a blur.

Johnny: Do you like coloring?
Cody Martin: I sure do, little one! In the first grade, I won a free ice cream sundae for my work on the "Enchanted Pony Island Coloring Book"!
Johnny: You're weird.
Zack Martin: He's got you pegged.
[boy kicks Cody's shin]
Cody Martin: Ow! Little boy, don't you know it's not nice to kick people in the shin?
[boy steps on his foot]
Cody Martin: Ow! Look, Kid, I know Santa, and someone just made the Naughty List!
Johnny: I'm Jewish.

Cody Martin: [referring to Zack] Everone has more armpit hair than him
Zack Martin: They're blonde and hard to see!
Randall: Yeah, all two of them!
[he and Cody laugh]

Randall: I bet I have more armpit hair than you!
Cody Martin: Everybody has more armpit hair than Zack.
Zack Martin: They're blonde, and hard to see!
Randall: Yeah, all two of 'em!

Cody Martin: Zack, don't just stand there! Do something!
Emily: [to Zack] You're not my mommy! I want my mommy!
Zack Martin: Cody, I think she wants you.

Esteban: Where are the little-er people?
Zack Martin: We're playing hide-and-seek.
Cody Martin: And we lose.
Zack Martin: What do you mean?
Cody Martin: They're gone!

Maddie: I'm sorry, Mr. Moseby, but I had to leave for a family emergency, and I had to leave Esteban in charge.
Esteban: And I had to take care of everything you put me in charge for, so I had to leave Zack and Cody in charge.
Zack Martin: Which means this is clearly your fault, Mr. Moseby.
Cody Martin: But rest assure, we forgive you.

Zack Martin: [to Cody while he's holding a baby] You're good at this. How'd you figure out that rock and bounce technique?
Cody Martin: It's not a technique. I just really have to go to the bathroom.

Zack Martin: Mr. Moseby, you just don't know what it's like to deal with kids.
Cody Martin: They don't listen to you, they have no respect for authority, they run all over the lobby like maniacs...
Mr. Moseby: Welcome to my world.

Zack Martin: [over the walkie-talkie to Cody] Papa Bear to Mama Bear.
Cody Martin: [to Zack over the walkie-talkie] Why do I have to be Mama Bear?
Zack Martin: [to Cody over the walkie-talkie] Fine. Papa Bear to Goldilocks.
[two little kids laugh]
Cody Martin: [to Zack over the walkie-talkie] I hate you.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Crushed (#1.24)" (2006)
Agnes: This is so romantic. Do you like it when I feed you?
Cody Martin: Yes. Although, I could feed myself if you untied me.
Agnes: But if I untied you, you might try to run away again.
Cody Martin: No I wouldn't. And it's not because you nailed my feet to the floor, which by the way, is taking most of the enjoyment out of this tasty mac and cheese.
Agnes: Let me pull those nails right out!
Cody Martin: AAAARRGGGHHH!
Cody Martin: [Wakes up from his nightmare] Man! I just had the scariest dream in the history of scary dreams.
Agnes: What was it about, honey?
Cody Martin: AAGGHH!
Zack Martin: Hey, guys.
Cody Martin: How'd she get in here?
Zack Martin: I let her in.
Cody Martin: Why?
Zack Martin: [Shrugs] Kicks. By the way, you'd better get dressed. Your wedding's in 10 minutes!
Cody Martin: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wedding?
Agnes: [Suddenly appearing in a wedding dress] Hi, hubby-wubby!
Carey: [Showing Cody his wedding tux] Told ya it'd all work out!
Cody Martin: [Wakes up from nightmare] AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
Zack Martin: Man, I've been watching you scream for 10 minutes.
Cody Martin: Why didn't you wake me?
Zack Martin: There was nothing on TV.

Zack Martin: Maybe she'll have a lousy time on your date. You are as boring as a stick. Actually, you could play with a stick
Cody Martin: Thanks for trying to cheer me up. But I'm a goner. Nothing I do bothers her.
Zack Martin: That's because you're too nice do something to gross her out. Sneeze on her, pick some eye boogers, braid your nose hairs.
Cody Martin: Eww! That's gross!
Zack Martin: That's the point!

Agnes: Where'd he go?
Cody Martin: Nothing you can do will make me tell.
Agnes: Five bucks.
Cody Martin: Soccer practice.

Agnes: Do you like it when I feed you?
Cody Martin: Yes. But I could feed myself if you untied me.

Cody Martin: Welcome to planet Whoooooo!

Cody Martin: Agnes, what Zack is trying to say is, you came on a little strong.
Zack Martin: No, what Zack is trying to say is...
[opens door]
Zack Martin: ...leave.

Zack Martin: You gotta stop being such a pushover. Now go do my homework like you promised.
Cody Martin: Okay... but you're only getting a B.
Zack Martin: Yes! My first B!

Cody Martin: I'd like you to know that unlike you, I'm not enjoying your pain. Oh, hi, Agnes.
Zack Martin: Very funny, but that won't work.
Agnes: [Comes up behind Zack] Hi, Zack.
Zack Martin: ARGH!
Cody Martin: OK, now I'm enjoying it!

Carey: Agnes tells me you guys have a date tomorrow.
Cody Martin: We don't have a date.
Carey: OK, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What do you call it when one friend goes out to dinner with another friend?
Zack Martin: Creepy beyond belief.
Carey: Don't be jealous, Zack. You'll have a special friend some day, too.
Zack Martin: Yeah, hopefully, my friend won't be from Planet Whoo!

Carey: Cody, your little girlfriend is so sweet.
Cody Martin: My girlfriend?
Carey: Oh, I get it. OK. Your friend that just happens to be a girl.
[to Agnes]
Carey: Boys!

Cody Martin: Our children will be Agnes Jr and Cody Jr. Our dog's name is Agnody.
[Pulls Agnes to him]
Cody Martin: Right, honey bear?
Zack Martin: [Pulls Agnes to him] She's not your honey bear, she's my sugar muffin!
Cody Martin: [Pulls Agnes to him] Tell him you're mine, cutie-patootie!
Zack Martin: [Pulls Agnes to him] No one tells my rosie posie what to do!
Agnes: That popping noise you hear? Yeah, that was my shoulder.
Cody Martin: Oh, I'm sorry. Let me rub that for you, sweetie tweetie.
Zack Martin: [Pulls Agnes to him] No one touches my lovey bunny but me!
Cody Martin: Oh, yeah?
Cody Martin: Yeah!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Orchestra (#3.14)" (2007)
Zack Martin: Cody, there's no need to be jealous. Barbara is crazy about you.
Cody Martin: Yeah. She did give me an engraved protractor for my birthday.
Zack Martin: And if that's not nerd love, I don't know what love is.

Cody Martin: Barbara Simka Brownstein, you have betrayed me, and the love that we shared! I was learning Yiddish for you, and all I get in return is... Tsuris! We're through!
[Cody storms out of class, as Zack plays the kettle drum to the beat of his stomping. Cody gives Zack a dirty look before leaving as Zack continues to play the drum]
Zack Martin: [to Mrs. Madigan] And you got me playing the triangle.
[scoff]

[Cody plays a depressing rendition of a famous musical number on the French horn]
Zack Martin: Dude, you're bringing me down. What is that?
Cody Martin: "Ode to Joy".

Zack Martin: Sergei's in love with Barbara and he's going to take her back to Russia and raise llamas.
Cody Martin: What?
Zack Martin: I know. Llamas sound weird. There's more money in alpacas.

Cody Martin: Barbara, the only reason I broke up with you was because I thought you and Sergei were going to move back to Russia and raise llamas.
Barbara Brownstein: I'm not interested in Sergei. Plus, the real money is in alpacas.

Cody Martin: I'd do anything for you. That's why I learned Yiddish. You're my "latke".
Barbara Brownstein: I'm a potato pancake?
Cody Martin: Oh. I guess I need to study some more. I was going to say that you're my true love.
Barbara Brownstein: Close enough.

Cody Martin: Puberty stinks!

Cody Martin: That stupid Sergei thinks he's so great just because he's...
Zack Martin: Great?
Cody Martin: Barbara seems to think so. I never want to see his stupid face again.
Zack Martin: What do you think of the poster I made for your fund-raiser?
[Cody furiously yanks the poster out of Carey's hands and rips it to shreds]
Zack Martin: A simple "I don't like it" would've been fine.

Zack Martin: Cody, you're jealous of a rumor. And I'm not even sure I heard it right.
Cody Martin: [crying] Oh, great! Now I've ruined my life by dumping Barbara,
[squeaky]
Cody Martin: I have NOTHING!
Carey Martin: You have a family that loves you.
Cody Martin: [still crying] I mean something that I care about!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Fairest of Them All (#1.2)" (2005)
Carey Martin: What are you guys doing tonight?
Cody Martin: Uhh...
[walks to Carey]
Cody Martin: I'm sleeping over at Tapeworm's
Carey Martin: [to Zack] And you're not?
Zack Martin: No, we had a fight.
Carey Martin: You and Tapeworm?
Zack Martin: Me and Zack.
Carey Martin: [looks at Cody] Are you wearing lipstick?
Zack Martin: See that's what the fight was about. I put lipstick on him while he was taking a nap.
Carey Martin: [to Zack] That wasn't very nice
Carey Martin: [to Cody] and that's not your shade.
Zack Martin: Told you.

Zack Martin: I'm not going to let you throw this away. We've put too much in to it.
Cody Martin: And by "we" you mean "me". I'm the one wearing a dress.
Zack Martin: And you've never looked better.

Brianna's Mom: Oh, look girls! It's little Tyreeta!
Cody Martin: [girl voice, to Brianna's mom] Tyreesha!
Brianna's Mom: [to Cody] Like it matters.

Zack Martin: This a complete washout! All of the girls are stuck up, phony...
Cody Martin: [about Rebecca] Don't talk about her like that! She's sweet, and she's pure, and everything that's good about life.
Zack Martin: Cody, you just met her!
Cody Martin: And yet, I know all I need to know about her.
Zack Martin: Oh yeah? What's her name?
Cody Martin: Doh!

Zack Martin: Sorry I ruined it for you and Rebecca. I guess I was just being a selfish, greedy, goofball.
Cody Martin: No. You weren't greedy.

Cody Martin: Hah... a-a-ahh... djah
Rebecca: I'm sorry, I don't speak Vietnamese

Rebecca: [to Cody] You're just in time! We're playing "What do you want to be when you grow up"!
Brianna: Okay, me next.
[poses on a chair]
Brianna: A supermodel.
Rebecca: Tyreesha, What do you wanna be?
Cody Martin: I wanna be a hockey player.
[contestants stare]
Cody Martin: [in a girlish voice] Or a princess. Which ever pays better.
[all giggle]

Cody Martin: I can't believe I thought that a girl could be more useful than a bike!
Zack Martin: It's ok, buddy, we all make mistakes.
Cody Martin: Well, I'm never making that mistake again! From now on, it's just you and me.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Going for the Gold (#2.16)" (2006)
Zack Martin: Woaw! How did you do that?
Cody Martin: Easy I think of a happy place and concentrate on it.
Zack Martin: Well where's your happy place?
Cody Martin: Can't say, you might show up

Cody Martin: So Arwin... you think of your happy place yet?
Arwin: Well first it was a tropical cruise with mother... then a storm came and the waves knocked mother of her chair and she was thrown inot the sea as I yelled "mother throw me the house keys!"
Zack Martin: okay...

Cody Martin: So, Arwin, have you thought of your happy place yet?
Arwin: Well, at first, it was me and Mother on a tropical cruise. But then a storm hit and her wheelchair rolled off the side and I was screaming, "MOTHER! THROW ME THE HOUSE KEYS!"
Zack Martin: Okay...
Arwin: [panting]
Zack Martin: How about a nice cookie?
Arwin: Oh, yeah.
[stares toward the ceiling with a dreamy expression on his face]

Cody Martin: Don't you think it's weird how Irv knew that Arwin did it wrong?
Zack Martin: What do you mean?
Cody Martin: [digs through Irv's bag] The Fonzarelli 22! Do you know what this means?
Zack Martin: I will as soon as you tell me!

Zack Martin: You can take that guy Arwin.
Cody Martin: Maybe not in a donut eating contest!

Cody Martin: The Fonzarelli 22! Do you know what this means?
Zack Martin: I will... as soon as you tell me!
Cody Martin: [Looks at Zack with a stupid face] It means that Irv is cheating!

Zack Martin: I wonder what he was doing in there.
Cody Martin: Irv put diagrams on the toilet paper!
Zack Martin: That's silly! Everyone knows how to use toilet paper!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Forever Plaid (#2.6)" (2006)
[after damaging a wall]
Cody Martin: Oh, no. What's Mr. Moseby going to say?
Mr. Moseby: Well, I don't know. Let's ask him.

Zack Martin: The red-headed goalie is mine. Keep your eyes off her
Cody Martin: You can have have her. I like the mid-fielder who's reading. Would you read cody-wody a bedtime story? I knew that you would

Soccer Player #1: You know what I really like? When a boy strokes my hair
Soccer Player #2: Yeah, and I really love a foot rub.
Bob: Whoa, this is getting good!
Cody Martin: Is somebody writing this stuff down?
Zack Martin: [Has spent a few seconds writing on wall above the peephole he is using] Got it.

Bob: Hey guys, we've got to get to the park. The ice cream hit a tree and there's ice cream everywhere!
Zack Martin: Who cares? I hit the wall and it's raining girls in there.
Cody Martin: We are unravelling the mystery that is woman.
Bob: So you're peeping.
Cody Martin: For science.
Bob: I love science. That's my favorite subject.

Carey Martin: You're gonna write those girls an apology and an essay on why peeping is wrong. 500 words each.
Zack Martin: 500 words? Couldn't you just ground us?
Carey Martin: 1,000.
Zack Martin: 1,000?
Carey Martin: 2,000. You wanna go for 3?
Cody Martin: Quit while we're behind. You don't even know 3,000 words.

Arwin: All right, guys, in order to properly re-plaster this wall, ironically, we must first make this hole slightly bigger.
Zack Martin: All right!
[hits the wall with hammer]
Arwin: Not that big! We're going to need more plaster. Luckily, Mother got me some for Christmas.
Cody Martin: What'd she get you for your birthday, grout?
[laughs]
Arwin: No, spackle.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Poor Little Rich Girl (#1.13)" (2005)
London: [tries to open fridge] Your fridge is broken.
Cody Martin: Other side.
London: [opens fridge] Fixed it.
Cody Martin: I'm confused. I thought you hated cheese.
Zack Martin: Yeah, but you love cheese.
Cody Martin: Oh.
London: Oh, they're already in little slices. Cooking is easy.
Cody Martin: So if I'm Zack and I don't eat cheese, does that mean you're the one that likes ham?
Zack Martin: No, we both like ham.
Cody Martin: Then who likes liverwurst?
Zack Martin: No one.
Cody Martin: Then why do they make it?

London: Your grilled cheeses are ready.
Cody Martin: Next time you might want to put it on bread...and take off the plastic.

Cody Martin: Let's start off with something simpler... cereal.
London: Ok. I can handle that. Wait, what goes first the milk or the cereal?
Zack Martin: Doesn't matter as long as you remember the bowl.

Carey Martin: Whatever's in this envelope
[to Cody]
Carey Martin: you're still Cody and
[to Zack]
Carey Martin: you're still Zack.
[Esteban walks by and hears this]
Esteban: Will I still be Esteban?
Carey Martin: Yes.
Esteban: Aw too bad, then I must go get a ton of luggage in room 1217.
[he leaves]
Carey Martin: Before we do...
Zack Martin: Oh no, she's gonna talk.
Carey Martin: this is important. Even if you're you and you're you, I'll still love you if he's you and you're him.
Cody Martin: I couldn't follow that and I'm the smart one.
Carey Martin: Ok, swirly heels, swirly heels.
[to Cody]
Carey Martin: You're definitely Cody and
[to Zack]
Carey Martin: you're definately Zack.
Zack Martin: Alright! Now I can go back to chilling and getting by in school.
[sees his mom's face]
Zack Martin: I mean doing my best.
Carey Martin: It's so nice to have my boys back.

[repeated line]
Zack Martin, London, Maddie, Cody Martin, Carey, Mr. Moseby: WHAT!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Health & Fitness (#2.34)" (2007)
Cody Martin: What's wrong, Chef Paolo?
Chef Paolo: [sobbing] My cholesterol test... it did not turn out so good.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Oh, come on, how bad can it be?
Chef Paolo: They found bacon bits.

Cody Martin: [to Cody] You know, this health questionnaire is really interesting. I'd like to show you, but you might eat it.
Zack Martin: Not unless it's made of chocolate.

Zack Martin: What's going on?
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Cholesterol test.
Cody Martin: Probably the only test Zack could pass.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [to Cody] Am I starting to get that full figure look?
Cody Martin: Well, your right hip looks little bigger.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Ooh...
[feels hip]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: ... Oh, wait that's my bus pass.

Cody Martin: [with chocolate sauce all over his face] You two should be ashamed of yourselves!
Chef Paolo: Cody is right.
London Tipton: Yeah.
Chef Paolo: [whispers] Psst, there's still some chocolate left on his face.
London Tipton: Let's lick it off!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Maddie Checks In (#1.3)" (2005)
Cody Martin: The first thing we have to do is to get you an Imperial Suite.
Maddie: Do you know how much those costs?
Zack Martin: Awww, that's sweet! You thought we're gonna pay.
Zack Martin: No, we don't pay here, baby.

[looking at Maddie through their spy hole thing]
Zack Martin: Boy, if I were five years older, two feet taller...
Cody Martin: I'd be squashed!

Maddie: If I tell the truth, then Jason would look like a fool and I would look like a...
Cody Martin: ...a lying gold digger?

Jason Harrington: Hi.
Maddie: Hi.
Maddie: Look, I'm sorry I pretended to be something I wanted. I just thought that since you were rich, you would be like all other rich guys.
Jason Harrington: Well, I'm not. You pretty much overlooked me.
Maddie: I'm really sorry.
Jason Harrington: So I guess this is good-bye.
Maddie: Yeah... bye
Jason Harrington: You do remember what we do when we say good-bye, right?
Maddie: Yeah, I think so.
Zack Martin: How many times to they have to say goodbye!
Cody Martin: Oh Come on!

London: Gloss me!
Zack Martin: Sorry. We're watching the counter for Maddie. We are not allowed to accept money, make change, or touch any of the merchandise!
London: Is there anything you can do?
Cody Martin: I can shove 12 Gummy Worms up my nose, wanna see?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: What the Hey! (#2.21)" (2006)
Cody Martin: I'm Wing Lee! Who are you?
Zack Martin: I'm Cody Martin!
Cody Martin: I hate you

Cody Martin: [when Carey comes to the mall] Why did she come in here? She can't afford this stuff! I should know! I do her taxes!

Cody Martin: What's Mom doing here at the mall?
Zack Martin: I don't know she works like 2 hours a day, she has to spend the rest of her life somewhere.

Cody Martin: [to Zack] You wanna cut school?
Zack Martin: Why not? Look at you, what do you do all day?
Cody Martin: Schoolwork.
Zack Martin: And what do you do when we get home?
Cody Martin: Homework.
Zack Martin: And on the weekends?
Cody Martin: Weekendwork.
Zack Martin: There's no such thing as weekendwork!

Wacky Wally: [to Cody] You're Wing Lee?
Cody Martin: You got a problem with that?
Wacky Wally: I got a problem with my girlfriend. I don't care what your name is.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Lost in Translation (#2.23)" (2006)
Mr. Moseby: [shouting] How do you lose a woman?
Cody Martin: You forget to cherish her.

Cody Martin: What do you think of my model of the Eiffel Tower?
Janice: That's the Eiffel Tower? I thought it was an oil derrek!

Mr. Moseby: Maddie, did you stock the sushi candy?
Maddie Fitzpatrick: And the seaweed cookies. Yum!
Zack Martin: What are we having, a convention of seals?
[he barks and claps like a seal; Maddie throws him a piece of candy]
Mr. Moseby: No, an important Japanese company is coming, and it would be swell if they came again next year. So I would like them to feel at home.
Cody Martin: How come you never want us to feel at home?
Mr. Moseby: You're kidding, right?

Mr. Moseby: [trying to escort Kumiko away from the twins] Okay, let me show you to your room.
Cody Martin: Wait! I want to practice my Japanese.
[says to Kumiko in Japanese:]
Cody Martin: My belly button grows watermelons.
Kumiko Mori: [to Moseby, uneasily] Don't send the fruit basket to my room.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [Cody speaks to Maddie in a foreign language] Okay, should I thank you or slap you?
Cody Martin: It's international week at school and I've learned to say things in ten different languages.
Zack Martin: And I've learned to snore in ten different languages.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Footloser (#1.7)" (2005)
Max: Zack, would you like to be my partner?
Zack Martin: Sure. I'd love to be on TV, and I also have the face for it.
Cody Martin: I have the same face!
Zack Martin: Yeah, but your face can't dance.

Cody Martin: Hey, Max!
Max: Hey, Cody! Where's Zack?
Zack Martin: I'm Zack! Hey, there, sweet thang!
Max: He hurt himself, didn't he?
Cody Martin: Yep.

Cody Martin: I call it trip-hop.
Max: I call it last place!

Esteban: [claps] That was wonderful! It is amazing how your lips and his move at the same time!
Cody Martin: That's not supposed to happen.
Esteban: Oh, well, in that case, you're no good. I am off.

Cody Martin: [after a dance move gone bad] I call it trip-hop.
Max: I call it last place!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Ghost in Suite 613 (#1.19)" (2005)
Cody Martin: London, save me!
[he jumps towards her arms and falls to the floor]

Esteban: We're going to call the spirit.
[lights the candle, but it lights itself]
Esteban: Apparently, the spirit's calling us. Now everybody, join hands.
[all except Esteban hold their own hands]
Esteban: I meant with each other. Be very calm, but relaxed.
[all exhale]
Esteban: Ghostie, if I may call you that, speak to us.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: You are...
Esteban: Maddie's channeling the spirit.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: dooopes!
[chuckles]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Hahaha! You guys are so gullible! I can't believe you fell for that.
Esteban: This beliver should be punished.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: [saying sarcastically] Oooo, I'm so scared!
[table shakes and Maddie whimpers]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: I'm so scared!
Cody Martin: [table rises] Either the table's getting higher, or the floor's getting lower.
Esteban: [hums La Cucaracha] Hmmmm, hmmmmmmm, hmmm, hmmmmm.
London Tipton: What are you doing?
Esteban: The spirit has me on hold.
[suddenly gets "posessed"]
Esteban: Heeeehuuuuuuhhh!
[makes a scary face and turns to London and Cody and talks in s girlish voice]
Esteban: She's here!
[inrehular voice]
Esteban: Oh, hola ghostie!
[gets "reposessed"]
Esteban: Heeeehuuuuuuhhh!
[makes another face and turns to Maddie and Zack]
Esteban: [in the voice of Irene] Who dares to call me in the afterlife?
Cody Martin: [to Zack] It's for you.
Zack Martin: Are you the ghost of Irene?
Esteban: [in Irene's voice] Yeeess, my husband left me, so I'm angry. Now, my spirit is doomed to languish for all eternity!
London Tipton: Does somebody smell...
[sniffs]
London Tipton: pizza?
Esteban: [in Irene's voice] Arrrhhhh, don't ever say that word!
Maddie Fitzpatrick: I love pizza. What are you gonna do about it?
[Esteban makes an evil face]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Aaaahhhh!
[Maddie disappears ino the wall]
Zack Martin: Maddie, no!
London Tipton: Irene, I hate to be a bit of a nudge, but uh, can I have my money back?
Esteban: [in Irene's voice] You will be silent!
London Tipton: Ok, nevermind.
Cody Martin: I-I hate pizza!
[gasps when Blankie floats away]
Cody Martin: Blankie, no!
[disppears into the wall while chasing Blankie]
Zack Martin: Cody? Buddie? Oh, no. Mom's not gonna like this.
London Tipton: So, about that thousand dollars...
[disappears into another wall]
London Tipton: I'll take a chance!
Zack Martin: Esteban, hang up on her!
Esteban: Esteban's gone. Say Aios amigos! Ayayayayayayay!
[dissapears from his seat]

Carey: Cody, when I left, there was a floor under this mess. I'd lilke it back. Could you clean up?
Cody Martin: Pshhh, next, she'll be telling me to take a bath.
[Zack grabs Cody's arm]
Cody Martin: Aaaahhh!
Zack Martin: [comes out of the mess] Hahaha! Got cha!
Cody Martin: No, got you!
[pins Zack to the ground]
Carey: Cody, why are you wiping the floor with your brother's face? Well, if it gets the stain out.
Cody Martin: Mom, Zack scared me again.
Carey: Zack, you know Cody's...
[hesitates]
Carey: sensative. Why do you do it?
Zack Martin: 'Cause it's my job.
Carey: Well, you're fired. Clean up.
Zack Martin: You should've seen your face! Oh, I can show it to you.
[impersonates Cody]

Cody Martin: It's the ghost! And it's coming this way!
London Tipton: And it's holding a club!
Cody Martin: Now it's eating the club!
Arwin: It's not a club, it's a sub. Meatball marinara. Want a bite?
London Tipton: Aaaaahhhh!
Maddie Fitzpatrick: What's wrong with a guy eating sub?
London Tipton: The guy who's eating the sub. No offense, but I always thought you were kind of creepy.
Arwin: None taken. Everybody says that, including mother.
[turns away]

Female Customer: This hotel has a ghost?
Mr. Moseby: Of course not.
[to Zack & Cody]
Mr. Moseby: Now tell the nice lady you were just *pretending!*
Cody Martin: Yeah. There's no ghost.
Female Customer: Oh, that's too bad. Because a lot of people would pay extra to stay in a haunted room.
Mr. Moseby: Oh, you mean no ghost in the hallway. However, the room is lousy with them. The rest of the hotel is haunted by *these two.*


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Team Tipton (#3.13)" (2007)
Cody Martin: Cologne, fresh shirt. Wow, Maddie should come home from Antartica more often.

Cody Martin: Do you really think that's going to make Maddie want to date you?
Zack Martin: That and this mustache.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [returning from Antarctica; wearing a thick coat and still freezing cold] Hi g-g-g-guys. I'm b-b-b-b-b-back!
Zack Martin: Maddie!
[hugs her]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Zack! Don't let go of me!
Zack Martin: I knew you'd miss me!
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Well, I'm actually still defrosting from Antarctica...
Cody Martin: Hi, Maddie...
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Cody! Hi!
[includes him in the hug]
Esteban: Maddie, you're back!
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Esteban! Hug! Here! Now...
Esteban: Oh, ok -
[does so]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Arwin! Come join us!
Arwin: Oh, I love group hugs, especially with other people!
[joins them all]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: [seeing an elderly guest walk by them] Hey, lady! I could really use the heat!
[the old lady walks away, a bit startled by Maddie's statement]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: After her!
[Zack, Cody, Arwin and Esteban attempt to go after the woman while still crowded around Maddie, who is going with them]

[Zack is creeped out by a rare insect owned by a convention of entomologists]
Cody Martin: That happens to be a priceless Malaysian Millipede, mister.
Zack Martin: Keep that thing away from me, or I'm gonna millipede in my pants.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Boston Tea Party (#2.17)" (2006)
Maddie: Give me liberty!
Cody Martin: Or give me death!
Zack Martin: Is there a third choice?

Carey Martin: I once dated this guy...
[Zack and Cody groan]
Carey Martin: What?
Cody Martin: You fought against City Hall and won.
Zack Martin: And then he dumped you.
Carey Martin: Have I told you this story before?
Zack Martin: No. That's just how all your boyfriend stories end.

Zack Martin: I just had a dream that taught me two things; No matter how small you are, if you're fighting for something you believe in, you could win.
Cody Martin: What's the second thing?
Zack Martin: Bob looks terrible in petticoats.

Carey: Wow, how'd you figure that out?
Cody Martin: Zack did.
Carey, Arwin: No, seriously.
Zack Martin: You know, I wish you people would realize that I'm a thoughtful and intelligent person.
Carey: I realize that, honey.
Zack Martin: We're gonna go lay down in front of the bulldozers.
Carey: I spoke too soon!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Election (#2.7)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Just promise me no one will get hurt
Maddie Fitzpatrick: I can't make that promise
Cody Martin: Oddly, I'm okay with that

Cody Martin: I have your hair and your smile!
Zack Martin: Yeah, but on me, it works!

Cody Martin: Mom agrees with me!
Zack Martin: Mom's on my side now!
[in a little kid's voice]
Zack Martin: Right, Mommy?
Carey: Aw, I'm on both of your sides.
Zack Martin: That's a cop out!
Carey: Yes it is. Have some cake.

Cody Martin: [talking about a school election] I thought you were voting for me!
Max: I was... but Zack promised I could be an ambassador.
Cody Martin: An ambassador to what?
Max: Who cares? I get a jacket!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Pilot Your Own Life (#1.23)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Aw, come on Mr. Moseby they're just trying to do what I said and 'Pilot there own Life'
Mr. Moseby: You!

Cody Martin: Remember. If you can conceive, you can achieve and if you can acheive ...
London Tipton: I hate that saying!

Cody Martin: [about Maddie and London wrestling] You're right Zack, this would be alot better with pudding!

Cody Martin: [to Maddie] Don't let fear in your cockpit.
Carey Martin: Don't let what in your where?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Birdman of Boston (#2.28)" (2006)
Cody Martin: There's life in me!

Cody Martin: Don't you know anything about parenting?
Carey Martin: Apparantly not.

Cody Martin: [the hawk he hatched and raised flies off] Look at him go.
Carey Martin: He's beautiful.
Cody Martin: Mom, when you moved out, did your mother cry?
[breaks down crying]
Carey Martin: Only after I was gone.

Zack Martin: [filming the egg] Make it do something.
Cody Martin: It's an egg. What do you want it to do? Stupid egg tricks?
Zack Martin: [interestedly] Can it?


"The Suite Life on Deck: Mom and Dad on Deck (#1.16)" (2009)
Kurt: Are you boys... Pardon me! Are you *men* ready for a crazy guys' weekend?
Zack Martin, Cody Martin: Oh, yeah!
Kurt: Nothing but late nights, piles of junk food...
Zack Martin: Mmm!
Kurt: ...hanging out by the pool, scoping out the hot...
Zack Martin, Cody Martin: [On seeing Carey walk in] Mom?
Kurt: Hot moms?
Carey Martin: Surprise!

Carey Martin: I'm so happy to see my babies.
Zack Martin: Mom, we're men now. We shave.
Cody Martin: Yep. First Monday of every month.

Kurt: So why don't the boys and I go have some guy fun while you rest up? Huh?
Cody Martin: Yes.
Zack Martin: That'd be great.
Carey Martin: I get it. I crashed your guys' weekend.
Kurt, Zack Martin, Cody Martin: No, no.
Cody Martin: Not at all.
Zack Martin: Maybe a little.
Kurt: Totally.

Zack Martin: [about Carey] If she stays, she'll be pinching our cheek every day in front of girls all over the world.
Cody Martin: They'll be mocking us in 45 different languages!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: To Catch a Thief (#1.11)" (2005)
Cody Martin: So, we're grounded?
Carey: Grounded in a suite full of video games and TV? No, you're spending the day with me picking my outfit for my acts.
Zack Martin: With shoes?
Carey: Lots and lots of shoes.
Cody Martin, Zack Martin: Noooo!

Zack Martin: We gotta catch him.
Cody Martin: But how? We're only 12 and last week you got beat up by a girl.

[Maddie is carrying London's dog Ivana, into London's suite]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: I'm sorry about the movie. I didn't know it was a cat flick.
[sees leaves on the floor]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: What are all these leaves doing here?
Zack Martin: Don't come closer. You'll step on the trap I set for the jewel thieves.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Have you two totally lost it?
Cody Martin: You're the one talking to a dog!
Maddie Fitzpatrick: And she agrees with me. You've lost it.

Zack Martin: it says, this is the same stuff used by the CIA!
Cody Martin: Cool! Where did you get it?
Zack Martin: Burger Barn!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Suite Smell of Excess (#2.15)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Did you win money on a quiz show?
London Tipton: Maddie on a quiz show? Oh please... She thinks a polygon is what you say when your parrot is lost. She thinks Ecuador is how you get in an ecua. She think the nutcraker sweet is the nicest suite in the nutcraker hotel. She thinks...
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Are you trying to insult me?
London Tipton: I rest my case.

Cody Martin: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Zack Martin: Chihuahuas have freakishly large ears? 'Cause I mean compared to their little bodies, they're just like massive.

[Zack and Cody make a hard landing in a parallel universe]
Cody Martin: [groans] I banged my yead on something hard.
Zack Martin: Yeah. *My* head.

Mr. Moseby: Where are you boys going?
Cody Martin: Well, I'm thinking about going to Harvard, and Zack's going to San Quentin.
Zack Martin: On an athletic scholarship!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: French 101 (#2.2)" (2006)
Cody Martin: I'm going to go speak the language of love with MY girlfriend.
Zack Martin: [sarcastically] Darn you, DARN YOU TO HECK!

Jolie: Bye, Cody! See you, er, yesterday!
Cody Martin: 'Yesterday'. She means 'tomorrow'. Isn't that the cutest thing?

Carey Martin: So I take it you like this French girl too?
Cody Martin: Le duh!

Cody Martin: So, how do I look? And be brutal.
Zack Martin: Like a backstabbing French girl stealing jerk in a goofy sweater vest.
Cody Martin: You really think it's goofy?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Rumors (#1.15)" (2005)
Cody Martin: [after dyeing his hair, which turned out to be very red] Oh, no! The box said it was supposed to be a honey-mist auburn!
Zack Martin: Well, honey, you missed auburn big time!

Zack Martin: Way to go, Little Red Riding Nerd.
Cody Martin: At least when I go away it won't be in handcuffs.

Zack Martin: That's right. I'm Cody, the smart one!
Cody Martin: And I'm Zack, the dumb one. Dopey, dopey, do.
Zack Martin: Don't push it.

Cody Martin: [sees the man for the Weekend Washington is here; hurries to Zack and pulls him away from Maddie.] Zack! The guy from the Weekend Washington is here! He's here to interview me and I can't be me because I don't look like me, I'm supposed to look like you since you look like me you've gotta be me!
Zack Martin: I can't help you.
Cody Martin: Why?
Zack Martin: 'Cause I have no idea what you've just said.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Super Twins (#3.4)" (2007)
Cody Martin: I guess my wish came true! I have super powers!
Zack Martin: Well...I made the same wish but I can't read your mind.
Cody Martin: You can barely read a book.
Zack Martin: Hey...maybe I have the power to fly!
[climbs on his bed and jumps]
Zack Martin: Up, up, and...
[falls on ground]
Zack Martin: down.

Cody Martin: Mom! Superheroes don't wear sweaters.
Carey Martin: They do if it's super cold outside.

Cody Martin: This stinks!
Zack Martin: Yeah, when you are kids, you have no power.
[looks up]
Zack Martin: Look! A shooting star!
Cody Martin: Quick! Close you eyes and make a wish.
[they do so]
Cody Martin, Zack Martin: [in unison] I wish I had super powers!
[pause]
Cody Martin, Zack Martin: Good wish!
Cody Martin: Well, do you feel any different?
Zack Martin: No. Wait, I feel power! It's swelling inside me, it's building, it's growing, it's...
[passes gas]
Zack Martin: No, it's gas.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: I Want My Mummy (#2.38)" (2007)
Zack Martin: Don't worry. I've got a plan.
Cody Martin: No.
Zack Martin: You don't even know what I was thinking.
Cody Martin: You were thinking of wrapping me up in that gauze, going and getting the real mummy, and then switching us back later.
Zack Martin: OK, so you do know what I was thinking.

Cody Martin: I've got a bad feeling about this.
Zack Martin: Come on, what could possibly go wrong?
Cody Martin: I have to go potty.

Carey Martin: Oh, sweetie, are you okay? We better get you unwrapped. After all that time, you must really have to go.
Cody Martin: Not anymore. This gauze is really absorbant.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Ah, Wilderness (#2.27)" (2006)
Mr. Moseby: Cody, didn't I tell you to tie the food bag up with a rope?
Cody Martin: Yes, but as a ranking koala bear, I decided to delegate, so I asked Bob to do it.
Bob: And I asked Warren to do it.
Warren: And I forgot to do it!

Cody Martin: Oh, no! We've been ransacked by a bear!
Zack Martin: Yeah! A bear with feet the size of a racoon!
Cody Martin: Oh, no! We've been ransacked by a bear-coon!

Warren: Hey, the food's gone!
Cody Martin: Oh, no! This is not good! That bag was part of a matching set!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Doin' Time in Suite 2330 (#3.20)" (2008)
Carey Martin: Apparently in your room, there's too much fun. This time, you're grounded in the living room.
Zack Martin: OK.
[switches on TV]
Carey Martin: And no TV.
[takes remote off Zack and switches TV off]
Zack Martin: Oh, man!
Cody Martin: Zack, we don't need TV or video games to entertain ourselves.
Carey Martin: And no cooking.
Cody Martin: Oh, man!

Zack Martin: How did I miss The Cheetah Girls?
Cody Martin: You were tackling that flower maid.
Zack Martin: For a seven-year-old, she was tough. She had a mean left hook!

Cody Martin: You know, it's funny, we've been crawling around in these vents for years without any problems and these things are only meant to carry air.
Zack Martin: And we're bigger than we used to be.
Cody Martin: And if you think about it, I'm amazed that these things can hold us up.
Zack Martin: Well, chalk it up to good old American craftsmanship.
[Vent creaks]
Cody Martin, Zack Martin: Uh-oh!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Boston Holiday (#1.26)" (2006)
Zack Martin: [tells Sanjei and cody] This is a sure-fire plan!
Cody Martin: [turns to Sanjei] That's what he says right before we get grounded.

London Tipton: I looked out my window and saw this big, glowing disc in the sky!
Cody Martin: That's called the moon.
London Tipton: I knew that! And during the day, it's called the sun.
[walks off]

Cody Martin: [praying and staring to the ceiling] Forgive him Great Kanish. He's lost his lentils.


"The Suite Life on Deck: Parrot Island (#1.2)" (2008)
Cody Martin: Here, Bailey, this will cheer you up. I ordered it just for you. It's a seaweed smoothie with a broccoli boost.
Zack Martin: We want her to cheer up, not throw up

Bailey Pickett: Look how lush and beautiful this island used to be.
London Tipton: And now it's a dump, so let's get out of here!
Bailey Pickett: It's a dump because your father ruined it, and he should fix it.
Cody Martin: She's right. It's that kind of corporate greed that's destroying the environment.
London Tipton: Wow, I mean, this place really did used to be beautiful.
Mr. Moseby: Yes, and we can all be sad about it on the boat! Come on!
London Tipton: And now that it's not beautiful, Daddy doesn't care anymore... kind of like with his first four wives.

Emma Tutweiller: Anyway, this unscheduled stop to look for London on this tropical island presents us with a unique educational opportunity.
Zack Martin: We're gonna learn how to surf?
Woody: Yeah! Cowabunga! Hang Eleven!
Cody Martin: It's "hang ten."
Woody: Not when you got eleven toes!
Zack Martin: You have six toes on one foot?
Woody: Nope, eight and three!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Prince and the Plunger (#1.6)" (2005)
Zack Martin: While Mom is being all girly with her boyfriend, she'll leave us alone.
Cody Martin: And she'll be happy!
Zack Martin: And we can play video games.
Cody Martin: And she'll be happy!
Zack Martin: And she won't make us make our beds!
Cody Martin: And she'll be happy!
Zack Martin: You're so selfish, can't you think of anything else but mom's happiness?

Cody Martin: [sees Muriel sitting on the couch watching TV and eating] Have you ever actully seen her clean anything?
Zack Martin: Yeah the food out of the fridge.

Carey Martin: Aren't you two supposed to be in bed? Where's Muriel?
Cody Martin: Oh, we fed her, let her watch TV, and she went to sleep right on time!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Nurse Zack (#2.29)" (2006)
Dr. Chip Walters: So, who's the patient?
Carey Martin: That would be me, the woman lying in bed, sneezing her guts out.
Dr. Chip Walters: Actually, you can't really sneeze your guts out. I wrote a paper on it.
Cody Martin: What grade did you get?
Dr. Chip Walters: That's not important!

Cody Martin: Uh oh!
Carey Martin: What?
Cody Martin: Your temperature is higher than Zack's IQ!

Cody Martin: Just because I like to cook and clean doen't mean I can't be tough and macho.
[takes drink from his mom's cup]
Zack Martin: You just drank out of mom's 'sicky' cup.
Cody Martin: [screams like a girl] Ahhhhhh! Ewww!
[scrapes tongue with finger]
Cody Martin: . Blech!
Zack Martin: Yeah, that's tough and macho.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Cookin' with Romeo and Juilet (#1.14)" (2005)
Cody Martin: Mr. Moseby! Mr. Moseby! It's a hideous monster, and it's coming this way!
Mr. Moseby: Boys, I can assure you there are no such things as monsters.
Zack Martin: Oh, yeah? Look!
Ilsa: [enters lobby] I'm back.
[Zach, Cody, Mr. Moseby and Carey scream]
Carey: Quick, get behind me, boys and don't look her in the mol... the eye!
[Mr. Moseby tries to hide, but ends up facing Ilsa]
Ilsa: Mr. Moseby.
Mr. Moseby: Ms. Schiklegoobermeyger.
Ilsa: Actually, since you had me fired from the Tipton organization, I've gotten married.
Carey: You're kidding.
Ilsa: No. My married name is Ilsa Schiklegoobermeyger-Vanhelsingdekeppeloogerhoffer.
Carey: You're kidding.

Carey: Cody, don't you have something to say to your brother?
Cody Martin: I'm sorry I flicked flour in your face.
Carey: Zack?
Zack Martin: I'm sorry you're my brother.

Cody Martin: [Cody and Zack are walking to Maddie, holding up a basket of cookies] Hey, Maddie, would you try some of my cookies?
Maddie: Sure!
[Maddie takes a cookie and takes a bite out of it]
Cody Martin: What do you think?
Zack Martin: Careful. If you tell him there are too many walnuts, he'll lock himself in the bathroom and cry.
Maddie: [after tasting Cody's cookie] Cody, these are amazing! You know, girls like guys who can cook.
Zack Martin: I helped!
[Maddie stares at Zack blankly, and a customer walks up to the cookie basket and helps herself to a cookie and takes a bite out of it]
Customer: Mmm! These are fantastic! How much are they?
Cody Martin: They're free!
Zack Martin: For $5!
Customer: [grabs Cody's cookie basket and gives the twins a wad of cash] I'll take the whole basket! Mmm!
Zack Martin: [staring at the wad of cash the customer gave them] All right! Cody's Cookies are going to make me rich!
Cody Martin: Ahem!
Zack Martin: Did I say "me"? I meant "us"!
[Zack puts his arm around Cody]


"The Suite Life on Deck: The Ghost and Mr. Martin (#3.11)" (2010)
Woody Fink: [dressed for Mardi Gras, including a mask] So? We're in New Orleans! Who's ready to celebrate Mardi Gras?
Cody Martin: Nobody. Mardi Gras isn't for three months.
Woody Fink: Dang it! Can I still wear the mask?
Zack Martin: I'm sure the people of New Orleans would appreciate it.

Zack Martin: There's some seriously strange stuff happening here. Mr. Moseby was talking about some ghost captain, and I think he's haunting the ship. He is turning off lights and turning on blenders and typing on my computer...
Cody Martin: Wow, he's got more skills than you do.

Cody Martin: So are we all heading to the French Quarter? I can't wait to have some gumbo. It's delicious to eat *and* fun to say. Gumbo!
Woody Fink: And jambalaya.
Cody Martin, Woody Fink: Jambalaya!
Zack Martin: I'm sorry I can't join you jamba-losers, but I got an F on my history paper, and Miss Tutweiller won't let me go ashore until I rewrite it.
Cody Martin: Well, I told you not to write your history paper about a video game.
Zack Martin: Hey! "Knights of Horror" was based in the Middle Ages, and I did a lot of research. I made it all the way to level 8.
Cody Martin: I can't believe you made it to *grade* 8.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Ask Zack (#2.19)" (2006)
[explaining who's in charge of which department of the school newspaper]
Cody Martin: Wally's our weather guy, Barbara's our investigative reporter, Alexis is our copy girl, Vance is our photographer, and the lovely Janice and Jessica are doing Health and Beauty.
Janice: I'm doing health.
Jessica: I thought I was doing health.
Janice: You're doing beauty.
Jessica: Yes, but I'd rather be healthy than beautiful.
Janice: But I'm really healthy.
Jessica: But I'm really, really healthy.
Barbara Brownstein: And I'm, really, really glad you're not triplets.

Zack Martin: Cody, if you don't give me a job in the paper, I'll keep on making scary monster sounds when you're sleeping.
Cody Martin: You're Mr. Spooky Head?

Cody Martin: [to Zack] You really think your advice is going to work? "Take a chance. Ask him out for a milkshake."
[Zack and Cody walk over to Darlene]
Darlene: Hey, Zack. Just taking a chance here. Would you like to go for a milkshake?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Books and Birdhouses (#2.9)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Who came up with those rules?
Bob: Nine Finger Nick

Mr. Woodburn: Remember, this counts towards one third of your final grade.
Cody Martin: [shrieks]
Zack Martin: Would you relax? You're gonna do fine.
Bob: No, he won't. He's hopeless.
Zack Martin: Not helping!
Bob: Not lying!

Carey Martin: Well, the best part is I've got this clock and this wonderful wheelbarrow.
Cody Martin: It's a birdhouse!
Carey Martin: That's what I said.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Kept Man (#2.14)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Do you want my defense sign?
Theo Cavenaugh: Thats ok. I've already got my "I'm A Dork" t-shirt in the car.

Cody Martin: [after finishing reading his speech] Like it?
Maddie: [wakes up from a nap] Huh?
Cody Martin: Guess not.
Maddie: Sorry Cody, it's just that I'm exhausted. I was up all night taking care of the baby.
Cody Martin: What baby? I didn't even know you got married!
Maddie: Please, Cody. I'm only sixteen. And I've never even kissed a boy!
Cody Martin: Oh, please. Save it for the nuns.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Kisses and Basketball (#1.22)" (2006)
Cody Martin, Tapeworm: Zack kissed a girl! Zack kissed a girl!
Carey: Boys, stop teasing Zack and be mature.
[they stop]
Arwin: Zack kissed a girl! Zack kissed a girl! Zack kissed a girl! He kissed a girl, a female! A female...
[Arwin stops, but accidentally sticks his hand in some cake, then eats it]
Arwin: Cake makes me crazy.

Arwin: OK, check in, Cody.
Cody Martin: In where?
Arwin: In the game!
Cody Martin: I can't go out there, they're playing!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: A Tale of Two Houses (#3.15)" (2007)
Cody Martin: Pate - low fat, crackers - low sodium and chocolate cake - low nothing. Room freshener - forest pine.
[inhales]
Cody Martin: All the ingredients of romance!

Cody Martin: You have nothing to fear from a man who only seeks to adore you.
Barbara Brownstein: Oh, that is sweet. And if you try to try to go too far, I have a black belt in karate and can snap your arm like a twig.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: That's So Suite Life of Hannah Montana (#2.20)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Oh snap!

Cody Martin: You- You're Hannah Montana!
Hannah Montana: And... you're wearing cake.
[Hannah wipes her finger on Cody's shirt, and tastes the cake]
Hannah Montana: Mmm, vanilla! My favorite!


"The Suite Life on Deck: The Suite Life Sets Sail (#1.1)" (2008)
Cody Martin: Dude, you're a girl!
Bailey Pickett: I am? That explains so much.

Cody Martin: [entering his cabin] Hi, I'm Co... Holy Toledo!
Woody Fink: Nice to meet you, Co-Holy.
Cody Martin: Uh, what happened in here?
Woody Fink: Oh, I was looking for my underwear. Oh, there it is.
[holds up a single pair of underwear]
Cody Martin: You only brought one pair?
Woody Fink: Plus the pair I'm wearing.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Smart and Smarter (#1.18)" (2005)
Zack Martin: [to Cody] Well, if you're so smart, what's the capital of North Dakota?
Cody Martin: Bismarck.
Zack Martin: I thought Bismarck was the capital of South Dakota.
Cody Martin: No, that's Pierre.
Zack Martin: So what's the capital of Wyoming?
Cody Martin: Cheyenne.
Zack Martin: Thanks, you just finished my homework... Like shootin' fish in a barrel.

Zack Martin: Test?! How could there be a test? Didn't we just get our report cards? Isn't there some down time before we have to start learning again? Ugh! Why do you keep shoving knowledge down our throats?
Cody Martin: It's school?
Zack Martin: Yeah, and I don't wanna have to spend my summer here eating vegetables and having you tell me what was on TV last night. There's gotta be a way out!
Cody Martin: Yeah. Study.
Zack Martin: Look, you're not gonna take this seriously.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Scary Movie (#2.26)" (2006)
Zack Martin: We didn't see that movie, right Cody?
Cody Martin: It was Zack's idea.
Zack Martin: Thanks man.

Carey Martin: [finding Zack in the lobby, still sleepwalking] Zack, wake up.
Mr. Moseby: You can't wake him up. I have tried everything.
Carey Martin: Zack, I'm making chocolate chip pancakes.
Zack Martin: Cool, I'll have twelve.
[he looks around]
Zack Martin: Hey, where am I? What am I doing in the lobby in my pajamas?
[he looks at Cody wrapped up in bubble wrap]
Zack Martin: Although, as silly outfits go, I come in second.
Carey Martin: You were sleepwalking, trying to protect yourself from zombie moms.
Zack Martin: Well, that's strange, because we didn't go to see that scary movie, did we, Cody?
Cody Martin: It was Zack's idea!
Zack Martin: Thanks, man.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Lip Synchin' in the Rain (#3.9)" (2007)
Cody Martin: What role are you hoping to get?
Maddie Fizpatrick: Sharpay. Everyone says I look just like the girl who plays her!
Cody Martin: Really? I don't see it...

Cody Martin: [to Moseby] I prepared it in the original Greek.
Zack Martin: You mean the original geek?


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Christmas at the Tipton (#1.21)" (2005)
Cody Martin: Whoa! Look at all the lights on that Christmas tree! There must be like a million bulbs!
Arwin: Yeah! Buy 999,999, get one free.

[Mary and Joseph, two new guests at the Tipton, are about to have a baby]
Cody Martin: Isn't this weird? Mary and Joseph are traveling together...
Zack Martin: On Christmas Eve...
Maddie: And there's no room for them in the inn...
Arwin: And a child is born.
Esteban: What a coincidence!
London: I don't get it.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Not So Suite 16 (#2.10)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Okay, you can't go wrong buying jewlery. When buying diamonds, follow the rules of the four "c's;" Cut, clarity, carat, and color.
Zack Martin: Don't foget about the fifth "c." Crime. Which is the only way were going to get any of this.

Zack Martin: You know, none of the salespeople are gonna take us seriously
Cody Martin: Of course they will. We just have to act like we know what we're doing. Suave sophisticated. Ahh naked lady! Aaah more naked ladies! Aaaaah!
Zack Martin: Umm, my brother's just practicing the heimlich maneuver. You can never be too safe!
Snooty Woman: If I sell ya something cheap do you promise to leave and never come back?
Zack Martin: How cheap?
Snooty Woman: The cheapest thing we have is 100 dollars
Zack Martin: Well, all I have is 12 bucks and a bus token. But I need the bus token to get home
Snooty Woman: Tell you what. Keep your money and I'll just throw you out for free!
Cody Martin: But we were just getting to know each other!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: A Midsummer's Nightmare (#2.22)" (2006)
Gwen: [after zack gets lysander and gwen gets hermia] Wait, what part did you get?
Cody Martin: I got bottom!
Bob: That part must stink.
Cody Martin: Bottom's a donkey.
Bob: A donkey named Bottom. That must really stink.

Cody Martin: But first, you must changeth me back into a dude!


"The Suite Life on Deck: Family Thais (#2.6)" (2009)
Cody Martin: [shooting a video diary for Bailey] Hi, Bailey. It's me, Cody. This is my "missing you" diary. Day one, hour one: I miss you! A lot.
Zack Martin: [suddenly hovering over Cody's shoulder] Bailey, you're dating a loser!
Cody Martin: [turning camera off] Zack! Now I'm going to have to rewind and re-shoot that!
Zack Martin: Oh, then I did you a favor.

Cody Martin: I'm not going on your stupid date.
Zack Martin: Alright. I didn't want to have to play this card, but... you cannot say no to being a wingman. It's in the guy rulebook.
Cody Martin: There is no "guy rulebook".
Zack Martin: But there is. Yeah, it's called the "Guy-ble".
Cody Martin: Nice try.
Zack Martin: Don't make me call the "guy-thorities".
Cody Martin: I'm leaving.
Zack Martin: You should read my favorite chapter: "Duderonomy".


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Hotel Inspector (#1.4)" (2005)
Zack Martin: So is the evil hotel inspector gone yet?
Ilsa: No, she is right here.
Zack Martin: Whoa! What's that on your face?
[Carey covers his mouth]
Mr. Moseby: It's a beauty mark!
Cody Martin: But it has a hair on it!
[Carey covers his mouth]
Carey: It's good I don't have triplets! I would run out of hands!

Carey: He's just trying to keep this hotel running smoothly, and you guys tend to be *un-smooth*.
Cody Martin: Yeah. Un-smooth like when mom doesn't shave her legs for two weeks.


"The Suite Life on Deck: Showgirls (#1.5)" (2008)
Cody Martin: [talking about Miss Tutweiller] Looks like she's busy with Moseby.
Bailey Pickett: Yeah, look at those two. Do you think they're courtin'?
Zack Martin: First of all, no one's been "courtin'" since 1922, which, by the way, was the last time Moseby had a date.

Cody Martin: The only woman Moseby has kissed in the past thirty years was his mother, and even she's not too thrilled about it.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Graduation (#3.1)" (2007)
Barbara Brownstein: You know when we get to high school, I'm taking five AP classes!
Cody Martin: I'm taking six!
[Barbara stomps on Cody's foot, only to hurt herself]
Cody Martin: Steel-toe boots!
[dances away with glee]

Cody Martin: You know, Mom's really gonna be mad when she finds out you're not graduating.
Zack Martin: Well she can't be too mad when she finds out I saved a life.
Cody Martin: Whose life did you save?
Zack Martin: [trying to shove an apple in his mouth] Here, choke on this.


"The Suite Life on Deck: When in Rome... (#1.14)" (2009)
Cody Martin: I have tomato in places tomato should never be!

Zack Martin: This pizza-in-a-cone is a-maaa-zing! It's all the fun of ice cream, with the nutritional goodness of pizza!
Cody Martin: I will not put that garbage in my body. Now, let's look for Gigi's dumpster; I want leftovers!
Gigi: [Escorting two cooks out of her restaurant] Get out! You're fired! You don't even know the difference between a tortellini and a tortelloni!
Cody Martin: I do! Tortellini are ring-shaped pastas stuffed with a meat and cheese, while tortelloni are round or rectangular, stuffed with a mixture of cheese and vegetables.
Zack Martin: And Cowboyghetti has spaghetti-shaped lassos and horse-shaped meatballs!
Gigi: [to Cody] I'm desperate. You're hired!
[to Zack, unenthusiastically]
Gigi: You can help.
Zack Martin: I think the Cowboyghetti thing really put it over the top!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Free Tippy (#2.5)" (2006)
Cody Martin: Aw, Tippy!
Zack Martin: That wasn't Tippy.

Cody Martin: Which way do you think he went?
Zack Martin: I'd say standing up.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Big Hair & Baseball (#1.16)" (2005)
Mr. Moseby: Ho many times have I told you not to disturb the guests?
Cody Martin: 2708
Zack Martin: But it never gets old...

Cody Martin: Hey mom! e got 3 tickets so you can take us to the game tomorro!
Zack Martin: Won't that be fun?
Mr. Moseby: [scene change] Not fun!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Rock Star in the House (#1.17)" (2005)
Cody Martin: I'll have to weld the red wire to the blue wire. Which means I will have to use this dangerous welding torch, designed specially for adults.
Arwin: Maybe I, an adult, should help you, a child.
Cody Martin: That would be a great idea.

Cody Martin: I'm going to win a Nobel Peace Prize so I can look after my aging mother and pay Zack's bail money.
Arwin: Zack's in prison?
Cody Martin: Not yet.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Grounded on the 23rd Floor (#1.5)" (2005)
Tuck: The paparazzi are paying $20,000 to get a picture of that wedding.
Zack Martin, Cody Martin: We'd be rich!
Cody Martin: And we could pay mom back!
Zack Martin: We'd be rich!
Cody Martin: We wouldn't be burdens!
Zack Martin: We'd be rich!
Cody Martin: We could give the rest of the money to charity!
Zack Martin: I swear we're not related.

Carey: [talking about baby-sitters] I was thinking maybe Maddie - works in the gift shop. She needs the money, like us.
Cody Martin: Oh, Maddie.
Zack Martin: [to Cody, miming hourglass shape] Baby's got it going on!
Carey: She's got what going where?
Zack Martin: I don't know what I'm saying.
Carey: Yeah, you better not.


"The Suite Life on Deck: Graduation on Deck (#3.22)" (2011)
Carey Martin: You've always been smart. Ever since you were born and you cut your own umbilical cord.
Cody Martin: I had to. Zack wrapped it around my neck.


"The Suite Life on Deck: Bon Voyage (#3.6)" (2010)
Woody Fink: Uh oh, I-I think I maybe should go to the doctor. I don't think the poison sac agrees with me.
Cody Martin: It doesn't agree with anyone! Ergo, "the poison sac."


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Risk It All (#2.31)" (2007)
Carey Martin: Aw, guys, it's still alright if you didn't win the trip to Hawaii. Although, I did always want to go to Hawaii... I want to lie down on the beach, with the sound of the waves crashing... the sun in my face... the wind in my hair...
[Breaks down crying]
Carey Martin: Oh, I wanted that trip so bad!
Cody Martin: Don't worry, little lady. You're getting tears all over my blue suede shoes.
Zack Martin: Forget it. She's going to be crying all night. We'll never be able to get any sleep.
[the twins remember their consolation prize]
Cody Martin: Wait a minute. Didn't we win a free room in this hotel?
Zack Martin: [mimics the "Risk It All" host] That's right, Cody-cito! You freak!
Cody Martin: Race you to the front desk!
[They exit]
Carey Martin: [begins crying again, then hits the back of her head on the chair] Ow!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Hotel Hangout (#1.1)" (2005)
Cody Martin: What kind of name is Tapeworm?
Max: The kind you get when you eat 20 hotdogs in 2 minutes!
Cody Martin: Wow! Beats my record!
Zack Martin: By 18


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Arwinstein (#3.12)" (2007)
Zack Martin: Arwin, there's something in the basement in your secret room!
Arwin: [anxious] I don't know anything about a secret room.
Cody Martin: [insisting] The one behind the bookcase!
Arwin: I don't know anything about a bookcase.
Zack Martin: Arwin!
Arwin: [walking away] I don't know any Arwin!


"The Suite Life on Deck: The Silent Treatment (#3.1)" (2010)
Cody Martin: My Bu! What did you do to my Bu? Now it's just goo!
Zack Martin: Oh, well, boo hoo for you!


"The Suite Life on Deck: Seven Seas News (#2.25)" (2010)
Cody Martin: Miss Tutweiller, do you got a second?
Emma Tutweiller: Of course, Cody. Why would I need time to relax after teaching six classes, sitting in gum, and being stood up for a date via video chat?
London Tipton: Oh, good, so you're free!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Neither a Borrower Nor a Speller Bee (#2.12)" (2006)
Cody Martin: I won! I won! I'm not a loser. I'm a winner. W-I-N-N-E-R


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Heck's Kitchen (#2.4)" (2006)
Cody Martin: [Cody has severly burned a seafood medley] Oh no, my seafood medley!
Zack Martin: It's seafood deadly now.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Aptitude (#2.39)" (2007)
Cody Martin: I'm the smart one! I'm the smart one!
Zack Martin: Oh yeah, What's the capital of Honduras?
Cody Martin: Tegucigalpa.
Zack Martin: You really are the smart one!


"The Suite Life on Deck: Boo You (#1.10)" (2008)
Cody Martin: Thank you, I'm known for my frosting!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Miniature Golf (#2.33)" (2007)
Cody Martin: I just hope you don't act like a jerk again around Ella.
Zack Martin: No, no, I'm going to be a perfect gentleman. And we're going back to Putt Putt Party and I'm gonna politely pummel her to a pulp.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Baggage (#3.6)" (2007)
Zack Martin: Hey, Millicent, we'll take a chocolate Crispy Bar.
Cody Martin: Heh, it's my money. We'll take some Twisty Corn Puffs.
Zack Martin: Crispy Bar.
Cody Martin: Twisty Puffs.
Zack Martin: Crispy Bar.
Cody Martin: Twisty Puffs.
Millicent: [interrupts them] Okay, that's it! It's because of you people that I wake up in the middle of the night screaming! Well, I kinda did that before... but it's gotten worse since I started working here! Eat this
[reaches for a magazine]
Millicent: and LIKE IT!
Zack Martin: Wow, Millicent, I've never seen you stand up for yourself like this.
Millicent: Yeah, it feels good.
[she falls to the ground unconscious]


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Twins at the Tipton (#2.11)" (2006)
Zack Martin: Come on... there are lots of fish in the sea.
Cody Martin: I don't want a fish. I want Irma.
[cries]


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Back in the Game (#2.35)" (2007)
Zack Martin: [over the phone, to his wheelchair-bound friend, Jamie] Dude, you gotta get over here right now! Jessica Simpson is in the hotel!
Carey Martin: Jessica Simpson is here? Oh, maybe I can get her to sing for our PTA fundraiser.
[holds up a burnt pastry]
Carey Martin: I don't think the bake sale's going to go very well.
Zack Martin: [putting the phone to his chest so Jamie can't hear him] Don't be silly, Jessica Simpson's not here!
[talking to Jamie again]
Zack Martin: Oh, I just saw her walk by! Hi, Jessica!
[gives the phone to Cody]
Cody Martin: [tries to do his best Jessica Simpson impression, complete with Southern accent] Hey y'all! Wanna come hang out with me by the pool? I need someone to help rub in my suntan lotion!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Commercial Breaks (#1.25)" (2006)
Zack Martin: This is great! This is our chance to get on TV!
Cody Martin: Yeah, I always thought you'd be on TV. I just assumed you'd be in handcuffs.
Zack Martin: You mean, as a magician?
Cody Martin: [sarcastically] Yeah, that's it.


"The Suite Life on Deck: seaHarmony (#1.11)" (2008)
Cody Martin: [reading out Debby's dating questionnaire answers] Now, let's see. Favourite flower, iris. Favourite tree, pine. And ooh, that's interesting. She likes corncob art. Folky.
Zack Martin: Stupidy.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Cody Goes to Camp (#1.10)" (2005)
Cody Martin: London drives?
Zack Martin: Yeah, but not very fast. That's why it took us five hours to get here.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Loosely Ballroom (#2.25)" (2006)
Zack Martin: Have I ever told you that I love you?
Cody Martin: No.
Zack Martin: Hmm... you'd think I would have.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Bowling (#2.13)" (2006)
[repeated line]
Zack Martin, Cody Martin, Carey, Mr. Moseby, London, Maddie: WHAT!


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Dad's Back (#1.20)" (2005)
Carey: Time to do your homework.
Cody Martin: I already did mine.
Zack Martin: You disgust me.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Sleepover Suite (#3.7)" (2007)
Zack Martin: Dude, this statue of London is freaking me out! Its eyes, they follow you everywhere!
Cody Martin: As opposed to the real London, whose eyes just stare blankly into space.


"The Suite Life on Deck: The Mommy and the Swami (#1.12)" (2009)
Cody Martin: Ahhh! Wow, that was the most invigorating climb of my life!
Zack Martin: [wheezing and coughing] I need to go back I think I dropped a lung.


"The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: A Prom Story (#1.8)" (2005)
Zack Martin: [excited, to Cody] Did you hear that? Maddy wants me to go to the prom with her! I better practice my kissing.
Cody Martin: [to Zack] Don't look at me!