Derek Morgan
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Quotes for
Derek Morgan (Character)
from "Criminal Minds" (2005)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Criminal Minds: A Beautiful Disaster (#11.18)" (2016)
[first lines]
Derek Morgan: [carrying Savannah into an emergency room] Help me! Help! She's been shot! Help me!

Derek Morgan: Tell me you got something.
David Rossi: A casing and a rifle up on the roof.
Jennifer Jareau: This guy isn't sloppy. He's sending us a message.
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia, we need to access the surveillance footage.
Penelope Garcia: [leaving] Of course. I'm on it.
Derek Morgan: All right, what else we got?
David Rossi: That's it right now.

Derek Morgan: When is someone gonna let me know they're gonna be okay?
Penelope Garcia: I totally feel you. You're not alone in this.
Derek Morgan: Just stop. Please, just stop. I can't take your blind optimism right now. It's not helping me.

Aaron Hotchner: You can't investigate this.
Derek Morgan: Excuse me?
Aaron Hotchner: You're a material witness in your wife's shooting, and a target. And not just tonight, but the past six months.
Derek Morgan: Hotch, how can you of all people ask me to sit this out? You didn't back off when Foyet attacked your family.
Aaron Hotchner: And how'd that turn out?

Dr. Spencer Reid: When you first told me about Savannah, I'd never seen you like that. The decreased levels of central serotonin in your brain cause intrusive thinking. When I finally saw you guys together, that's when I knew for sure. Your pupils dilated, your posture changed, and I saw you involuntarily reach for her hand. Science confirmed it. You found the one. Do you believe that?
Derek Morgan: Yes.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Then believe this. Our team loves you, and we are not going to stop until we find whoever did this. But we can only do that with a completely dispassionate and unprejudiced point of view. Paternal instinct is a deadly bias that we just can't risk. It's for your protection, Morgan. I swear.
Derek Morgan: Okay.
[Reid turns to leave]
Derek Morgan: The unsub is a father, isn't he?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Why do you say that?
Derek Morgan: "A paternal instinct is a deadly bias". Those were your exact words.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I meant...
Derek Morgan: I know what you meant. But that's what you said.

Jennifer Jareau: I don't agree with taking you off the case. When someone hurts one of us... when someone hurts a baby...
Derek Morgan: Yeah.
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah. Uh, I need to show this to the team, but I wanted you to see it first.
[she hands over a scrap of paper]
Jennifer Jareau: I found it in the pay phone he used to call Garcia.
Derek Morgan: "How does it feel? Do you see red? I see red."
Jennifer Jareau: Does that mean anything to you?
Derek Morgan: [flashbacks; it obviously does] No.
Jennifer Jareau: You're sure?
Derek Morgan: Yeah.

Aaron Hotchner: [Morgan has gone off on his own to find Chazz] Where is he?
Derek Morgan: He's not gonna stop.
Aaron Hotchner: Morgan, tell me where he is.
Derek Morgan: I can't get anyone else hurt.
Aaron Hotchner: This isn't your call.
Derek Morgan: Come on, you have to know what I'm feeling right now.
Aaron Hotchner: That's why you need to come back here or tell me where you're going.
Derek Morgan: I can't do it. I'm sorry, man. Goodbye, Aaron.
[Morgan hangs up and throws his phone out the car window]

Aaron Hotchner: Jack was never this tiny.
Derek Morgan: The doctors say this incubator's gonna be home for the next two weeks.
Aaron Hotchner: It's gonna fly by.
Derek Morgan: Hotch, I get it. I finally know what you guys have been talking about. I never knew that six pounds, one ounce could knock me out.

David Rossi: I just saw your prince down the hall. He's sleeping like it's his job.
Derek Morgan: [laughs] 'Cause it is.
David Rossi: Whew. Pretty incredible, huh?
Derek Morgan: I'm so grateful.
David Rossi: You know, I've learned that, in the short time I've had the privilege of being a dad... it heals wounds, just being there for your kid.

Derek Morgan: Listen, we were gonna mail these, but I wanted you to have a birth announcement first.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Morgan hands over a card] Hank Spencer Morgan.
Derek Morgan: Yeah. Hank is for my pops. But Spencer is for the best little brother anybody could ever ask for.
[he gives Reid a tight, brotherly hug]
Derek Morgan: I love you, kid.

Derek Morgan: [closing quotation] As a good friend of mine said, every ending is also a beginning. We just don't know it at the time. I'd like to believe she's right.

Derek Morgan: You know, you're partially to blame for me leaving. You got such a big heart, I think it rubbed off on me.
Penelope Garcia: Partially. I think the actual reason is that little baby boy.
Derek Morgan: Yeah.
Penelope Garcia: I'm really glad it wasn't a baby girl.
[Morgan laughs]
Penelope Garcia: I'm really glad. Is that wrong?
Derek Morgan: No. No. You will always be my original Baby Girl.

Derek Morgan: [Seeing Reid entering his waiting room] Were you with Garcia?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah. Here, I brought you a green tea. It won't make you as jittery as coffee
Derek Morgan: You came instead of Garcia, because you know I would be able to read her
Dr. Spencer Reid: That is correct
Derek Morgan: And Hotch send you here to see if I'm stable
Dr. Spencer Reid: He didn't say that, but...
[nods yes]
Derek Morgan: I don't get jittery
Dr. Spencer Reid: Usually you don't, but your carotid tells a different story. I've counted 10 heartbeats in the last 3 seconds, it's about 20 percent higher than usual when you're under stress
Derek Morgan: I know you're only trying to protect me, I get it, but knock it off! I just want to know what you've learned

Derek Morgan: [Noticing Hotch watches him very closely] You're looking for micro expression
Aaron Hotchner: You have divided this team when we need to work together! JJ disobeyed orders by going to you and now you are withholding
Derek Morgan: I didn't divide this team! You did!

Derek Morgan: So look, uh, my little dude is gonna need a big brother too. To teach him everything he knows about life... and chess
[both laugh]
Dr. Spencer Reid: I can do that!


"Criminal Minds: Restoration (#8.18)" (2013)
Carl Buford: [Morgan visits Buford in prison] Derek Morgan.
Derek Morgan: Got yourself a new look, huh?
Carl Buford: I'm Mohammad Allam now. Of all my boys, you're the last one that I thought would come back to me.

Jennifer Jareau: That's new.
David Rossi: What do you see?
Derek Morgan: [phone rings] Hey, what's up? You find anything in the array?
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, there's some writing on the dumpster.
Derek Morgan: What's it say?
[looks around]
Derek Morgan: Hold on a second.
Alex Blake: They got something?
Jennifer Jareau: Do you see something? Morgan?
David Rossi: Look up to the sky?
Derek Morgan: [finds the writing also] I gotta go.
Alex Blake: Linguistically, it may mean God judges the victim for his sins...
Derek Morgan: That's not it.
Alex Blake: And taken in context, with the pants pulled...
Derek Morgan: Blake, that's not it. Let's go.

Derek Morgan: You see, what I need is a list of everyone you've victimized.
Carl Buford: You still like mint chocolate-chip ice cream?
Derek Morgan: The U.S. Attorney has offered immunity. They won't charge you with molesting any of the boys on this list as long as this list is complete.
Carl Buford: Or was it butter pecan?
Derek Morgan: You leave even one name off that list, this deal is dead.
Carl Buford: Are you threatening me, D.?
Derek Morgan: With my hand on the Qur'an. See, right now, you're in here for serial murder. And I bet that gives you a whole lot of credit out there in the yard. Am I right? But what do you think would happen if the brothers in here learned what you were really guilty of? So let me be direct, Mohammed, start writing.
Carl Buford: I'll give you the list on one condition. All I want is a handshake. That's it. A gentleman's agreement. What do you say?
[shakes hands]
Carl Buford: You were always special, Derek. You may have me in here, but there's a whole lot more of me out there, boy.
Aaron Hotchner: You didn't have to shake his hand.
Derek Morgan: It's a long list, Hotch.
Aaron Hotchner: This UnSub's devolving. He'll stand out. He won't be hard to find.
Derek Morgan: I'm gonna use the head before we leave.

Derek Morgan: You got any names?
Keron Bendor: Yeah. There was one. He was Buford's favorite.
Derek Morgan: Who?
Keron Bendor: Pretty sure his name was Rodney.
Derek Morgan: Rodney Harris?
Keron Bendor: Yeah. He got it the worst.

Derek Morgan: Rodney's not on this list
Aaron Hotchner: Buford played us.

Derek Morgan: Rodney, look at me.
[puts the gun down]
Derek Morgan: He did the same thing to me. I confronted him. I got him locked away for life. He's done.
Rodney Harris: Done? Done ain't good enough.
Derek Morgan: Look at your son. Look at him. Don't go out like this in front of him. You don't want to destroy his life too, do you? Rodney, he loves you.
Tyler Harris: I do, dad.
Sheila Goode: He still needs you. He still needs you, Rodney.
Derek Morgan: Rodney... put that gun down.

Reporter #2: You're saying that's why Rodney Harris killed those men?
Captain Stan Gordinski: Yes, that's what I said.
Reporter #3: So, being abused made him a killer?
Derek Morgan: No. No, it did not. The vast majority of child sex victims don't grow up to be sex offenders or criminals. I know this because... and let me be direct... I was also one of Carl Buford's victims.
Akil: Yo, Mohammed, wasn't "Carl Buford" your government name?
Derek Morgan: [on TV] Victimization does not cause offending.
Carl Buford: Yeah. I don't know what he's talking about. I loved that kid.
Derek Morgan: It can cause a lot of isolation... And there can be anger and rage. It can cause pain and suffering... but you can get through it. It can make you stronger. It does not have to destroy your life. It can make you fight back. And it can make you want to spend the rest of your life protecting others.

Derek Morgan: [closing, voiceover] "For darkness restores what light cannot repair." - Joseph Brodsky

David Rossi: Hey, I thought I'd lend you a hand
Derek Morgan: Ha, Rossi! Brought a little something to drink. I like that!
David Rossi: Well, you can't do renovation without a little bevvy
Derek Morgan: Ah, wait a minute now, you know I don't renovate, but restore, there's a big difference

Derek Morgan: Baby Girl! See if the owner of the convenient store had any military defensive training
Penelope Garcia: Oh, I will, as long as you promise to bring my future mother-in-law peach cobbler!
Derek Morgan: As soon as we're done here, I promise

Derek Morgan: Yeah, Baby Girl! How's that list coming along?
Penelope Garcia: Okay, of the 5 that hit the profile, one sticks out like a tiger in a room of kittens!

Alex Blake: How far away from here did you grow up?
Derek Morgan: Five blocks. The park we just passed is where I used to play football. The bus stop on that corner, that's where I played kissy-face with my first girlfriend.
Alex Blake: How old were you?
Derek Morgan: Ten.

Derek Morgan: Carl Buford was an expert at spotting and exploiting vulnerabilities in adolescent boys that he coached at the community center. He had the entire community thinking he was a hero. Parents, teachers, cops. I mean everyone. After my dad died, he locked onto me. And he manipulated me into compliant victimization. Now, you remember how I told you that I got into with that local gangbanger when I was younger? Well, somehow Buford got it all expunged. Now, I didn't understand why a guy who barely knew me would do that. But Buford gave me his time. He taught me how to play football. And then he took me to his cabin on the lake. I was a kid. I was a kid from the south side, I'd never been to a cabin before, much less a lake.
Aaron Hotchner: Morgan... you don't have to do this.
Derek Morgan: They need to know, Hotch. They need to know this guy's M.O. Buford built up my trust, and then he would lower my inhibition with Helgison wine; he called it his Jesus juice. And he would molest me. And every time he would see that dead look in my eye that said I wanted him to stop, he would just say "You better man up, boy. Look up to the sky."
Jennifer Jareau: Did you ever tell anyone about that phrase?
Derek Morgan: No.
David Rossi: We're probably looking at someone Buford abused.
Aaron Hotchner: Victim could harbor a great deal of anger if he didn't deal with his own abuse, and with the right trigger, it could develop into this kind of rage.
Alex Blake: Where's Buford now?
Derek Morgan: We got him locked up for homicide in 2006, but because of the statute of limitations, we never got him for molestation.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Buford ran the community center for years. An offender like him could have hundreds of victims.


"Criminal Minds: Lucky (#3.8)" (2007)
Derek Morgan: You don't like junkies?
Floyd Feylinn Ferell: They taste funny.

Derek Morgan: Good morning, princess.
Penelope Garcia: [quickly says] Good morning.
[and keeps walking]
Derek Morgan: Pump... ya brakes.
[Derek beckons Penelope back to him]
Derek Morgan: Every day, I say 'Good morning', and every morning you say 'I'll show you a good morning, hot stuff.' Every day. But not today?
Penelope Garcia: I hate profilers. Do you know that?
Derek Morgan: Spit it out.
Penelope Garcia: Fine. I met a guy.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: We got a bad one.
[Walks brusquely past Morgan and Garcia]
Derek Morgan: How bad?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Florida.

Derek Morgan: [opening quote, voiceover] "Fantasy abandoned by reason produces impossible monsters." - Francisco Goya.

Derek Morgan: [closing quote, voiceover] 16th century English novelist Thomas Deloney wrote "God sends meat, and the devil sends cooks."

David Rossi: [about Feylinn] Blaming the devil for his cannibalism wasn't enough to lessen his guilt, so he tricked others into participating. He made them all as guilty as he was.
Derek Morgan: He caught every break possible, Rossi. Gets released from the hospital. His records get destroyed. Gets pulled over with a victim in the trunk of his car, and they let him go. I've never seen anyone that lucky.
David Rossi: What's your point?
Derek Morgan: You've been doin' this a long time. You've seen a lot of things. You think it's possible Feylinn would... I don't know. That he was getting some kind of help from something else?
David Rossi: It's irrelevant. The job is to find evil, to stop it, not to know where it came from. Let somebody else take that job. This one's tough enough.

David Rossi: You know, Reid was right.
Derek Morgan: About?
David Rossi: If you believe in one, you have to believe in the other.

David Rossi: We never found any evidence of a killer satanic cult! In reality there are only two types of violent satanic criminals
Dr. Spencer Reid: Ah, type one: teens Satanists, assume satanic identity to rebel. Minor crimes, theft and vandalism, to churches, schools, symbols of authority. When combined with drugs and alcohol, they may turn violent
David Rossi: Yes, in extreme cases, deadly... That was out of my book, word for word!
Derek Morgan: Oh, trust us: we know!

Derek Morgan: Rossi? Do me a favor, you talk to the priest all right?
David Rossi: You rather interview the grieving parents on the worst day of their lives than the priest?
Derek Morgan: If it is all right with you, yeah!

Emily Prentiss: Hey Garcia, you normally call Morgan about these kinds of things. Is everything okay?
Penelope Garcia: God I hate profilers!
Emily Prentiss: Okay, come on, tell me!
Penelope Garcia: I met this guy at the coffee shop I go to every day...
Emily Prentiss: Right! Got it
[Hangs up, walks to Derek]
Derek Morgan: What?
Emily Prentiss: When a woman tells a man about her feelings, she doesn't want him to fix her. She wants him to shut up and listen!


"Criminal Minds: Rabid (#9.18)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: [closing quote] "Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil" - Baltasar Gracian

Derek Morgan: It tooks us almost two hours to get out to here
Jennifer Jareau: That's with you driving too!

Derek Morgan: What's with you? Are you okay?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, I'm great; I am just doing some stretching because it helps me keep my brain limber.

Derek Morgan: Nice tackle kid!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Thanks! I have been working out lately

Derek Morgan: What'd you got, Sweetness?
Penelope Garcia: Mama's hands are dirty, 'cause she's been digging

Penelope Garcia: Oh, God. Okay.
Derek Morgan: You okay?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, why?
Derek Morgan: 'Cause you got a little gimp in your giddy-up.
Penelope Garcia: It's these shoes. Beauty knows no pain.
Derek Morgan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.
[sniffs several times]
Penelope Garcia: What are you doing?
Derek Morgan: Do I smell BENGAY?
Penelope Garcia: Maybe. I had an active evening with Sam.

Penelope Garcia: I got the 4-1-1 on our first victim, Melvin Lewis. Originally from The Malibu of the Midwest, Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Melvin moved to Milwaukee 12 years ago when wifey ran away with his best friend.
David Rossi: Ouch.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. Luckily, they had no kids. No criminal record. Like super squeaky clean. Not even a parking ticket. He joined Facebook a year ago. He has a whopping six friends, all from work.
Derek Morgan: He drives a truck, right?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. A milk truck, to be exact. But only did that for a month. Before, he worked for 10 years at an animal control center, but he was laid off due to budget cuts.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What exactly did he do, Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: He was a dogcatcher. But like a SWAT team of dogcatchers. He specialized in dangerous and trapped animals, including, but not limited to skunks, a raccoon, and one time a giant python.
Derek Morgan: All right, thanks, babe.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That could be it.
Derek Morgan: What? The python?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, bite marks. Of course. That could be how he was doing it. That's why it was undetectable. Brain tissue, we need to look at brain tissue...
Derek Morgan: Okay, Reid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Sorry. I don't think this is a biting fetish or cannibalism. I think it's a virus, and the biting is merely a means of transmission.
Derek Morgan: What kind of virus?
Dr. Spencer Reid: There are several possibilities. Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, tick-borne encephalitis, but the most likely culprit is rabies, and that wouldn't show up in an autopsy, except in brain tissue.
David Rossi: So, since Lewis was the only victim not bitten by a human, the UnSub must have used an animal to infect him first.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And after that, he somehow facilitated human to human transmission.
Derek Morgan: It would explain the random victimology. It doesn't matter who he infects. All he needs is a host.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Which also means the holding period isn't about torture, it's about incubation.
David Rossi: I was attacked by a rabid for once. Shot the thing three times before it went down. Freakin' terrifying. It was like a horror movie.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We need to have the M.E. test for rabies vectors in the brain samples.
Derek Morgan: And then we need to deliver the profile.

Derek Morgan: Give it to me, doll face.
Penelope Garcia: Do you know that over 50,000 people die of rabies every year in third world countries? Thank God for Monsieur Pasteur, otherwise we'd all be dead. Okay, so I looked into every known case of rabies exposure in the country over the last 20 years.
Derek Morgan: Did you find anything?
Penelope Garcia: Cool your jets, hot chocolate. I will let you know if I've got something. So, I've got something.

Dr. Spencer Reid: You think they'll really terminate us if we can't run fast enough?
Penelope Garcia: Probably something worse. They'll probably make us take another fit test.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'd rather be terminated.
Penelope Garcia: I just hope the PT instructor isn't a jerk. Those jock guys are always such jerks.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, total jerks. That's probably him right now.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, look, he's totally walking like a jerk.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, it's a total jerk walk.
Penelope Garcia: Total jerk walk.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Wait a minute. Wait, I think it's Morgan... Yeah.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, my God, it is. Why are you here?
Derek Morgan: It looks like I'm your new PT instructor. Watkins got sick. So, today's your lucky day. I'm your guy. Ha-ha.
Penelope Garcia: Awesome. That's awesome.

Derek Morgan: Guys, guys, come on. Seriously. You should have just said something. This whole fit test thing is just a formality. I could've got the whole thing waived... But since you didn't, you ready to do this?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, let's do this!
[Garcia and Reid start running]
Penelope Garcia: Wow! Wow!
Derek Morgan: Hey, hey, hey. Happy-go-luckys, where are you going?
Penelope Garcia: To run a mile.
Derek Morgan: No, no, no. You didn't hear? The fit test is more than just a mile. Get your little butts back over here.
[to Garcia and Reid doing push-ups]
Derek Morgan: Come on, let's go, all the way down, all the way up.
[to Garcia and Reid doing sideways jumps]
Derek Morgan: Come on! My grandmamma can do way better than that.
[to Garcia and Reid doing chin-ups]
Derek Morgan: Let's go! This is not your high-tech room.
[to Garcia and Reid skipping rope]
Derek Morgan: On our toes, right on your toes. There you go, baby girl, that's sweet.
[to Garcia and Reid doing stepping exercise]
Derek Morgan: Go, girl, you know it. Turn around, right back down.
[to Garcia and Reid lying down]
Derek Morgan: Hey, hey, hey. What are we doing? What's all this huffin' and puffin'? Come on, we still got a two mile run to go. Let's go!
Penelope Garcia: Two miles?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's supposed to be one mile.
Derek Morgan: No, no, no. Not my watch. This whole fit test is altogether different. Now suck it up!
Penelope Garcia: Oh, my God.
Derek Morgan: Let's go!... All right, all right, all right. Enough is enough. I guess I got to let the cat out of the bag. I kind of already had your fit test waived.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What?
Derek Morgan: Yeah. Baby girl, think about it. You're not even in the field. And Pretty Ricky, you already got enough case hours to qualify. This was just a good time for me.
Penelope Garcia: I'm gonna kill him.
Dr. Spencer Reid: If I can manage to lift my arms, I'll hold him down.
Penelope Garcia: I'm regaining my strength.
Derek Morgan: I told you, you should have said something. I said... Hey... Hey...
Penelope Garcia: You're getting it now!


"Criminal Minds: A Thin Line (#7.15)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] Equality may perhaps be a right, but no power on earth can ever turn it into a fact. -Honore de Balzac

Derek Morgan: Hey, Hotch, check this out. There's a mayoral race in town, and there's a guy named Clark Preston all over the news. Looks like he's running a close second.
Clark Preston: [footage of a news conference] These vicious home invasions are a sign of the times. As demographics change, so do crime rates. Now, we may not be able to slow the browning of America, but we can sure as hell take our city back, and if you elect me, I'll lead that charge.
Derek Morgan: "The browning of America"? That's damn near a hate speech.
Aaron Hotchner: He's using the murders to further his campaign, and I guess people are rallying behind it.
Derek Morgan: So what if our unsub is nothing like Manson? Manson never got his hands dirty. What if our unsub is more like his followers?
Aaron Hotchner: You think he's being manipulated?
Derek Morgan: Maybe even unintentionally, but either way, rhetoric like this could fuel his fire.

Derek Morgan: Preston's a part of this. I know he is. You should have seen him in there.
Emily Prentiss: Well, he's a racist and a little shady, maybe, but a murderer?
Derek Morgan: It may be just a feeling, but I know he's in this. We just need to figure out how.

Derek Morgan: Nice job, Valdez. You just got your whole team killed.
Jimmy Valdez: Sorry.
Derek Morgan: You're damn right, you're sorry. Franklin's wife is pregnant. Maxwell over there just got engaged. Wedding's in May, right? It's too bad you won't make it.
Jimmy Valdez: I thought I cleared the room.
Derek Morgan: You didn't check the door. You missed the hidden threat.
Emily Prentiss: I should have covered him.
Derek Morgan: No, Prentiss. You're on point. It's his job to cover you. And when you don't do your job, Valdez, people die. Now, if you're not ready to shoulder that responsibility, then maybe you need to reconsider joining the Bureau.
Jimmy Valdez: [pause] I said I was sorry, all right?
Derek Morgan: I heard you. But out in the field, "sorry" doesn't bring people back.
[pause]
Derek Morgan: We're done today.

Emily Prentiss: Morgan. Is everything all right?
Derek Morgan: Yeah. Why?
Emily Prentiss: You were a little hard on Valdez. He's just a new agent trainee.
Derek Morgan: Who made a fatal mistake.
Emily Prentiss: Well, he looks up to you. I'm just saying, maybe you could build his confidence, not break it.
Derek Morgan: Imagine how he'd feel if that had been real.
Emily Prentiss: Okay, yeah, I understand that. But that course is designed to force failure. That's how we learn.
Derek Morgan: And my job is to train the trainees, not to be their friend.
Emily Prentiss: Look, I know you're doing the tough love thing, but they don't know you like I do.

Aaron Hotchner: We believe we're looking for a white male in his late 20s to early 30s.
Deputy: Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry, I thought we were looking at black gangbangers.
Derek Morgan: The unsub has been staging the crime scenes to make it look like black gangs and undocumented immigrants were responsible.
Deputy: Why would anyone do that?
Jennifer Jareau: We think he's trying to create some sort of racial conflict.
Dr. Spencer Reid: In 1969, Charles Manson orchestrated the Tate-LaBianca murders, in the hopes of creating a race war between the blacks and whites that he referred to as "Helter Skelter".
David Rossi: A name he stole from a Beatles song.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Members of the Manson family left watermelon rinds at the scene of the crime and also painted panther paws on the wall in blood in the hopes of convincing authorities that the Black Panther Party was responsible.
Aaron Hotchner: Hate groups like the Aryan Nation believe that race war is not only inevitable, but necessary.
Emily Prentiss: Our unsub may be a member of one of these groups. Aryan gangs have a strong presence in prison, so he may be an ex-con, or even possibly related to a convict.
David Rossi: We think he may also be some kind of zealot. He believes his war is already being fought, and these murders are a mission to him.
Jennifer Jareau: And like a solider, he is willing to put himself in harm's way.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The unsub may also be vulnerable somehow. Weak-minded or even lonely. His cause gives him a sense of power and belonging.
Derek Morgan: He's physically fit enough to move dead bodies, so he's probably young.
David Rossi: But not so young as to be impulsive. These attacks took planning and focus, so he's disciplined.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He uses Oxycodone to drug his unwilling partners. But he does so without killing them, which means he's knowledgeable about dosages.
Emily Prentiss: And Oxy is expensive, so look at medical care professionals and caregivers, anyone with access to to prescription drugs.
Aaron Hotchner: This unsub is dedicated and driven. Makes him especially dangerous. Surrender's not likely part of his strategy.

[last lines]
Derek Morgan: How you doing?
Emily Prentiss: I'm all right.
Derek Morgan: Emily, I'm so sorry.
Emily Prentiss: "Out there in the field, 'sorry' doesn't bring people back."
[pause]
Emily Prentiss: Come on, I'm messing with you. It's nothing, really.
[pause]
Emily Prentiss: I'm okay. This isn't your fault.
Derek Morgan: Actually, it is.
Emily Prentiss: You're a team leader. You made a tactical decision.
Derek Morgan: And you got hurt. Again.
Emily Prentiss: You did what you thought was right. And that's all you can do. The rest of it, that's not up to us. That's the job. This is nothing, really.
[pause]
Emily Prentiss: I mean, the thing with Doyle, that... I'm kidding! I'm...

Penelope Garcia: San Bernadino, California. Two home invasions in less than a week, only a block apart. Exact same M.O. Both houses were burgled, power and phone lines cut, and they broke in through a back window.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And in each case, the entire family was shot and killed?
Penelope Garcia: Yes, that is right. I present to you the Mitchells and the Lewis families.
David Rossi: They took out the power and phones to isolate them. Their alarm systems wouldn't work and they can't call for help.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Most modern alarm systems have a backup generator and a cell phone connection to the security company.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, but the Mitchells had an older system, and the Lewises were behind on their account, so it was inactive.
Jennifer Jareau: An assailant was killed in each case?
Penelope Garcia: Affirmative, but the sheriff hasn't IDed them yet.
Emily Prentiss: So both families were armed and fought back and shot one of their attackers.
Derek Morgan: Is that a coincidence or a connection?
Aaron Hotchner: What concerns me is the frequency of the kills.
Jennifer Jareau: Only four days apart.
Aaron Hotchner: All right. It's a long flight. We'd better get going. Wheels up in thirty.

Derek Morgan: [about Preston Clark] He doesn't give a damn about black or white. The only color that son of a bitch cares about is green.


"Criminal Minds: Foundation (#7.18)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. -Michel de Montaigne

Derek Morgan: Listen to me. Carl Buford. That's the name of the man who hurt me. I was just a young boy like you, Angel. And I thought about doing that very same thing to myself. I did. Because the shame was too much. But instead, I kept the pain buried inside of me. And it tore me apart. But, Angel, I never let that son of a bitch beat me. I never gave him that. I want to make this man pay for what he's done to you. But I need your help. I promise you that whoever hurt you will not win. You and me together can take away what he kept from you and what he values the most, and that's freedom. Angel, please. Will you help me do that?
Angel Suarez: Yes.

Derek Morgan: What did he do? You can tell me.
Angel Suarez: He used to... He used to bite me. He hasn't for a while. But he did... He did other things.
Jennifer Jareau: Will you let the doctor take a look? Maybe we can match dental records.
Angel Suarez: Okay.

Jennifer Jareau: Do you always keep one with you?
Derek Morgan: Yeah. But the one I gave Angel was the only one that had wings on it.
Jennifer Jareau: You know, Angel's never gonna let that go. What you shared, I know that wasn't easy.
Derek Morgan: None of this is easy.
Jennifer Jareau: I can't help but picture little Morgan. You were so alone.
Derek Morgan: I'm here right now because of what that man did to me.
Jennifer Jareau: I know. I'm just... sorry.

Derek Morgan: [trying to get through to Angel] Listen, I know how scared you are. I know you think he can still hurt you; that he's just outside that door, but I promise you he's not. Even if he was, he'd have to get through me to get to you, and I'm not about to let that happen.

Derek Morgan: It's called a challenge coin, Angel. Legend says an American pilot in World War I was gunned down over Germany, and he crawled across no-man's land into French territory. He was desperate to survive. And he should have been safe, except for the French thought he was a German, and he was almost executed. But he showed them a coin; it had his squadron's insignia on it. It was given to him by a fellow pilot so that they would never forget what they shared.
Angel Suarez: [his first words] What happened to him?
Derek Morgan: [surprised, he laughs softly] A French soldier recognized the insignia, and they set him free.

Penelope Garcia: This boy was found two hours ago in the middle of nowhere. Technically, he was found outside of Crawford, Arizona; my point is he has clearly been to super hell and escaped some sort of captivity.
Derek Morgan: Well, how do we know he wasn't just dropped off there?
Penelope Garcia: Well, he has fresh cuts on the bottom of his feet from the local cactus fields, and that's way from any through roads, and his skin is rubbed raw around his ankles from chains.
Derek Morgan: He must have had a chance to escape and he took it.
Emily Prentiss: Or the unsub could have had him in transit.
Penelope Garcia: My god, you guys, look at his eyes.
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, he's jaundice. Probably hasn't seen daylight in a while.
Derek Morgan: Yeah, and there's a lot of scars here.
David Rossi: Those are the ones we can see.

[Morgan and JJ enter Angel's hospital room to find the lights off and Angel cowering under a table]
Derek Morgan: Hey. My name's Derek. I'm one of the good guys. And this is my friend.
Jennifer Jareau: I'm Jennifer. You're safe now.
Derek Morgan: Doctor says you haven't been eating much. Food looks pretty good.
Jennifer Jareau: You must be thirsty. Here you go.
[JJ offers Angel a water bottle and he slaps it away]
Jennifer Jareau: [trying to placate him] Okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Derek Morgan: JJ, this is years of conditioning. Have Garcia go back to 2000 for missing kids.

Derek Morgan: You can't examine his scars?
Dr. Larson: Can't get close enough. He has the most severe case of CER I've ever seen. Conditioned emotional response. I've only seen it in vets.
Jennifer Jareau: That's worse than PTSD.
Dr. Larson: He had an adrenaline rush when he escaped, but coming down from that will be just as extreme.
Derek Morgan: And I'm sure he's sensitive to light and sound.
Dr. Larson: Incredibly. We're keeping it as quiet and dark as possible.
Jennifer Jareau: That's probably what he's used to.
Dr. Larson: He's also been somewhere cramped. His legs show signs of advanced arthritis.
Jennifer Jareau: Any idea how old he is?
Dr. Larson: It's hard to tell. His growth has been stunted, he's got major tooth and skin decay. Clearly from a massive vitamin D deficiency.
Jennifer Jareau: Best guess?
Dr. Larson: Maybe sixteen.


"Criminal Minds: Profiler, Profiled (#2.12)" (2006)
Derek Morgan: Does he ever take you to his cabin?
James: What?
Derek Morgan: Fishing in Wisconsin? Camping? Two things you wished you had a real father for.
James: Sometimes.
Derek Morgan: Yeah, he's good like that.
James: You know about the cabin?
Derek Morgan: James, I told you I used to be you.
James: What do you mean?
Derek Morgan: The first you weren't even sure what was going on. He brushed up against you. You thought it might have just been an accident. But then at the cabin he let you sit and drink with him. You thought that was kinda cool. Made you feel grown. Gave you a glass of wine, maybe a little shot of something harder. And then he took you swimming, only he told you to jump in without your swimsuit on. He did things to you, James, didn't he? He did them to me, too. You do whatever you think you gotta do to keep him happy because he's the closest thing to a father you've got. But what he's doing to you is wrong and you don't have to let it continue, man.

James: Damien always said I should call you.
Derek Morgan: What? Damien knew?
James: I didn't think you'd believe me.
Derek Morgan: James, I got your back forever.

Derek Morgan: James, you are something, man. You're something right here, right now, without Carl Buford.

Derek Morgan: [voiceover] "All secrets are deep. All secrets become dark. That's in the nature of secrets." - Writer: Cory Doctorow.

Derek Morgan: [Morgan has been arrested] You know, you better have a real good reason for doing that in front of my family. Are you gonna tell me the charges now?
Det. Stan Gordinski: Oh, I bet if you think real hard, you'll be able to figure it out, Derek. Uncuff him.
Derek Morgan: "Agent Morgan".
Det. Stan Gordinski: You'll always just be "Derek" to me.
Derek Morgan: And you'll always be a racist son of a bitch to me.

Det. Stan Gordinski: Did you get some sleep?
Derek Morgan: You know I didn't.
Det. Stan Gordinski: Slept like a baby myself. Didn't even want to get out of bed.
Derek Morgan: Really? So that wasn't your donut-eating ass on the other side of that glass all night, then, huh?
Det. Dennison: [entering with a case file] Here you go. You want the other ones?
Det. Stan Gordinski: No, just this one right now.
[Dennison leaves, and Morgan laughs to himself]
Derek Morgan: Come on, man. You gotta be kidding me, right? Pretend you went home and slept. Put an empty box with my name on it on a table right in front of me? The FBI invented this stuff, you simple bastard. We *teach* it.

Carl Buford: Look at you. You'd probably be dead by now.
Derek Morgan: Yeah, well, it wasn't for free, was it?
Carl Buford: I pulled you out of the gutter.
Derek Morgan: I pulled myself out of the gutter! All the way to the FBI! I DID THAT!
Carl Buford: You saying I had nothing to do with making you who you are?
Derek Morgan: No, Carl. Actually, I'm saying you have everything to do with making me who I am.

Derek Morgan: [interrogating Derek] Damien Walter. D.O.A.
[hands over crime scene photos to Derek]
Derek Morgan: Oh no! Somebody killed him?
Det. Stan Gordinski: Not somebody
Derek Morgan: You think I did this?


"Criminal Minds: Gatekeeper (#9.7)" (2013)
Dr. Spencer Reid: His area of control is relatively small and includes a number of residential and commercials buildings. In fact in a 3 miles radios in a city of a population of 636,479 over 48.2 miles broken approximately 39,549.23 people living in his comfort zone
Derek Morgan: How many of them male?
Dr. Spencer Reid: 18,944.08

Derek Morgan: Talk to me, baby girl.
Penelope Garcia: You better get ready to go down on one knee, because this BG boo just won herself one hell of a diamond!

Aaron Hotchner: And to Dr. Spencer Reid who may be adding MD to an already impressive list of credentials
Derek Morgan: And to Spencer Johnson, that he prove to be the child prodigy like his name says
Alex Blake: How on earth did you know what to do?
Dr. Spencer Reid: When JJ was pregnant with Henry I memorized the delivery manuals, just in case she went into labor in the field. I have to admit the practical application did not quite live up to the theory.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Guys, something's wrong. The umbilical cord's wrapped around the baby's throat.
Hannah Johnson: No.
Tanner Johnson: What?
Derek Morgan: Well, Reid, do something.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I need something to cut the cord with, quickly.
Tanner Johnson: [hands scissors to Reid] Use these.

Aaron Hotchner: The unsub we're looking for is a dangerous voyeur, who feeds off the thrill of knowing his victims can't see him.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Typically, voyeurs are non-violent and content to remain bystanders. This one is different; he's on a mission that includes taking action.
Aaron Hotchner: And in that mission, he didn't hesitate to kill a teenage boy. Anyone who stands between him and his goal is at risk.
Alex Blake: We believe he's documenting his work. He's taking pictures and collects personal connections to his victims; their wallets and their hair.
David Rossi: It's important to him to have proof of what he's doing.
Derek Morgan: Voyeurs like to create fantasies in their heads of what the objects of their obsession should be like.
David Rossi: He creates a character identity instead of a reality, and when a person steps outside of the parameters that the unsub has set for them, he strikes.
Jennifer Jareau: This unsub appears to be triggered by males acting on what he perceives to be character flaws. Seemingly innocuous infractions to us are magnified in the unsub's psychosis.
Aaron Hotchner: Based on the planning and sophistication of the kills, we believe that he's in his late thirties or forties.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The geographic profile tells us this unsub is not only dumping his victims downtown, he's hunting there, too.
Derek Morgan: So this is where we need to redouble our efforts. Go building to building, door to door. This guy's a fly on the wall; he's able to leanr secrets without anyone realizing he's there.
Alex Blake: He'll have a job that involves very little social interaction, but that puts him in a position where he can observe others unnoticed.
Jennifer Jareau: So we should look at service workers, groundskeepers, anyone paid to be invisible.
Aaron Hotchner: And we need to move quickly. This unsub is approaching some sort of perceived deadline. The closer it gets, the more erratic and dangerous he'll become.

Penelope Garcia: If the name Ashley is on Scott's phone, I can't find it.
Derek Morgan: Penelope, this is sounding more like cubic zirconia.
Penelope Garcia: Bite your pretty tongue. I didn't stop at the first rejection. I did what you guys did; I profiled the guy. Scotty is a ladies' man, gets a lot of names and numbers, gotta keep track of 'em all. What's a playa to do, playa?
Derek Morgan: He gave her a nickname.
Penelope Garcia: "Baby Girl" was already taken. But "Bunny" wasn't.

David Rossi: He killed a woman this time.
Aaron Hotchner: Yeah. She's also the first one he covered up. This is remorse. She wasn't part of the plan.
David Rossi: Which explains why he moved the body. She wasn't killed here.
Alex Blake: The garrote was used postmortem. C.O.D. appears to be blunt-force trauma to the back of the head.
David Rossi: He didn't do a good job of covering this up.
Aaron Hotchner: He's panicking. We find where she was killed, we find him.
Alex Blake: Except no one even knows what her name is.
David Rossi: No ID, just a phone.
[Rossi plays the phone's voicemail]
Derek Morgan: Hi, my name is Derek Morgan with the FBI. I'm trying to locate a woman, first name Ashley. It's extremely important.
David Rossi: This is Ashley.

Penelope Garcia: Beantown has turned into Chokeville. Three victims, all male, wallets stolen.
Aaron Hotchner: The unsub uses a garrote to strangle his victims. He strikes at night, and there have been no witnesses.
David Rossi: How much did he get?
Aaron Hotchner: What's odd. Each of the victims' socio-economically is lower to middle class. It's doubtful there would have been much cash, and there have been no charge attempts on any of the credit cards.
Alex Blake: So the murders might not be about money at all. Taking the wallets could be a forensic countermeasure to delay victim identification.
Penelope Garcia: That could be the sitch with the first two victims, but the latest one, Scott Delfino, he was on the phone with his roommate when he was attacked; call cut out unexpectedly, repeated callbacks went straight to voicemail.
Aaron Hotchner: And Delfino's body was found an hour later, indications were that he'd been blitzed.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Which speaks to the killer's prep work, but also his desperation. He chose a location to lay in wait, but wasn't capable of adapting to a target on the phone.
Jennifer Jareau: Well, that could be arrogance getting in the way, making his organization appear mixed. To me, that screams false confidence.
Derek Morgan: Which means the desperation is what's driving him. It's not about the kills, it's about what the murders represent.
Jennifer Jareau: He's mission oriented. He doesn't want to kill them, he has to.
David Rossi: Which suggests the unsub has no personal connection to his victims.
Alex Blake: Except choking as a kill method is extremely personal. He feels each victim take their last breath.
Derek Morgan: What if the wallets are a form of depersonalization? He's stripping his victims of their identities.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Which means he may feel stripped of his own. If the wallets are trophies, he could be seeking recognition for his work.
Aaron Hotchner: And he may not stop killing until he gets that recognition. Let's go.


"Criminal Minds: From Childhood's Hour (#7.5)" (2011)
Derek Morgan: Cheerful.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Depression is a vicious cycle. It frequently manifests itself in the degradation of one's personal living environment, which in turn, fuels the depression, which then worsens the living environment.
Derek Morgan: I'll take a look around in here. Why don't you check out the kitchen?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The kitchen.
Derek Morgan: Is that a problem?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Frankly, I'm not too anxious to see the perishable food version of this room.

Derek Morgan: Four pair of shoes.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Why exactly is that relevant?
Derek Morgan: Come on, Reid, how many women you know only have four pairs of shoes in their closet?
Dr. Spencer Reid: My experience in and around women's closets isn't exactly extensive enough to really formulate an opinion.
Derek Morgan: The answer is none. You can take my word for it.

Derek Morgan: Hey, baby girl, whatever you're doing, drop it.
Penelope Garcia: Yes, and with pleasure. Let me tell you something, sweetheart. This is a Lamborghini you are talking to. You have to drive me. You can't just leave me parked in the garage collecting dust, or I will wilt.
Derek Morgan: Well, please forgive my neglect. I need you to rev up that fine-tuned, Italian engine of yours, then.
Penelope Garcia: Revving.
Derek Morgan: Our UnSub had personal details about Marlene Smith, so I need you to figure out who might have been in her house recently. Cable guy, plumber, people like that.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. I always wonder about plumbers. You know, they peek in your medicine cabinet. You just know it.
Derek Morgan: Maybe try a phone repairman or a babysitter. Check computers in the house. Maybe she used one of those techie fix-it type dweebs who makes house calls.
Penelope Garcia: Hey, watch it. Language.
Derek Morgan: You know, I'm just playing with you, but come on, put a rush on it. Clock's ticking, okay?
Penelope Garcia: Rush is the only speed a Lamborghini has. Proud techie dweeb over and out.

Derek Morgan: Talk to me, mama.
Penelope Garcia: First off, you are on restriction from my inner Lamborghini.
Derek Morgan: Garcia...
Penelope Garcia: I mean it. This high-performance engine may purr like a puma on the prowl, but this time, Derek, you have seriously overheated my engines, and I will require some cool-down laps upon your return, if you know what I mean by that.
Derek Morgan: Baby girl, you're on speaker.
Penelope Garcia: I knew that.

Dr. Spencer Reid: How about 10 pairs of shoes? I mean, that has to be enough, right? Ten?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Spence, it's different with the ladies. We need them to match our belts, our handbags, our skirts, and the fashions change with the seasons.
Penelope Garcia: Yes. Boys are so boring. Pants, shoes, out the door.
Emily Prentiss: Although, it's not like men don't have their things. I dated a golfer once. He had 12 putters in his closet. But this conversation is reminding me I need new boots.
Penelope Garcia: They're having a sale at DeMille's on those tall-shaft kitty heels. You like those. Do you want to go?
Emily Prentiss: Yeah.
Derek Morgan: You getting all this, kid?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Mrs. Tanner, please don't take this the wrong way, but exactly what drug are you addicted to? You're displaying symptoms of withdrawal.
Kelsey Tanner: [indignantly] Are you crazy?
Derek Morgan: Ma'am, we saw two deals go down on the other side of the park when we arrived. You were here to buy, weren't you? That's what had you distracted.
Kelsey Tanner: I can't believe that you... actually think I...
Derek Morgan: Your child is missing, Miss Tanner. Every minute, every half-minute, counts. You need to tell us the truth, and you need to tell us now.

Derek Morgan: Yeah, Hotch, the mother's addicted to Oxy. She was out here to buy.
Aaron Hotchner: All right, let's put her in protective custody.
Derek Morgan: So we got one mom suicidal, and the other one addicted to drugs. At least we got a pattern developing.
Aaron Hotchner: And if the unsub holds to pattern, he's gonna circle back and try to kill her.

Aaron Hotchner: We're looking for a male unsub in his mid- to late twenties. Physically fit enough to subdue Marlene Smith, and carry out a vicious attack and sustained attack.
David Rossi: We believe he sees himself as a rescuer, taking children away from unfit parents. He may very well have abandonment issues from his own childhood.
Derek Morgan: The impulsive nature of committing the murder out in the open suggests that he's inexperienced.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The violence on Marlene Smith went from precision to frenzy, which points to someone with classic psychopathic traits; quick to rage and quick to recover.
Emily Prentiss: He also appears to have insider knowledge of the families in these cases, so we need to look for someone who was privy to what went on behind those closed doors.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Emergency personnel were called to the Smith house after both suicide attempts, and once to the Tanner house after the mother overdosed on prescription drugs.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: That means first responders, Child Service workers, ambulance personnel. Both missing children apparently went without struggle or protest. That makes us think that they had prior contact with the person we're looking for.
David Rossi: Or they inherently trust who he is by the virtue of his job. The uniform he wears; doctor, mailman, policeman.
Derek Morgan: So far, the violence has been directed to the offending parent, but we don't know what the unsub's endgame is.
Emily Prentiss: We have written up a media release on precautions the public needs to take.
Aaron Hotchner: And we've taken the second mother into protective custody, thus depriving him of his target. This will increase his volatility.
David Rossi: That's why it's critical we find these kids. If they are alive, he may turn his violence against the children themselves.


"Criminal Minds: Empty Planet (#2.8)" (2006)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you mind if we swing by a book store, I want to re-read Empty Planet before we meet with the author, I haven't read it since I was six.
Derek Morgan: Six? I was still riding my big wheeler at six!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you mind, it'll only take ten minutes.
Jason Gideon: To buy it or to read it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, both, actually.

Derek Morgan: I hope she reads as fast as Reid.
Jason Gideon: [hangs up phone] No one reads as fast as Reid.

[last lines]
Derek Morgan: [quoting Spencer] "A young man that I respect is putting his life on the line"?
Dr. Spencer Reid: [to stares] What?
Derek Morgan: Gideon, I couldn't leave that lady alone to die.
Jason Gideon: I didn't say you were wrong.
Jason Gideon: And what he said I said...
Derek Morgan: Yeah?
Jason Gideon: I said.

Aaron Hotchner: We believe the unsub resides in Seattle. All of the attacks, most of which have just involved property damage, have take place here, and the timing and location indicate knowledge of the area. Even though he escalated to a lethal bombing today, we don't believe that that was necessarily his intention.
Derek Morgan: In fact, anyone not directly next to the device received minor injuries. So we think fear may have been the larger motive.
Special Agent Nick Casey: So he's a terrorist, then.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He is, but it's too vague a description for our purposes. Douglas and Olshaker categorize bombers as criminal, group cause, psychologically disorganized, and personal cause bombers. And we believe this guy to be a personal cause bomber.
Aaron Hotchner: And personal cause bombers are motivated by an underlying emotional conflict.
Dr. Spencer Reid: In an interview from prison, the Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski, admitted that while he was a graduate student at the University of Michigan, he started having fantasies of becoming a woman. He even got on a list to get a sex change operation, but during a mandatory psychological exam prior to his procedure, he changed his mind. He told the psychologist that he'd made a mistake.
Jason Gideon: But from that moment, through the next three decades of his life, Ted Kaczynski carried out a campaign of isolation and murder.
Derek Morgan: This unsub is male. He lives alone. He's possibly self-employed. He's highly organized, he's meticulous, and he's very smart.
Aaron Hotchner: And he seems odd to those who know him. Angry, distant, prone to sudden violent rage. This is not the kind of guy whose neighbors will be surprised to find out what he's arrested for. This guy's neighbors will have no trouble believing it.
Jason Gideon: Targets appear to be technology, but not the hi-tech variety. The kind of technology we're surrounded by.
Aaron Hotchner: In a city the size of Seattle, we're talking... 10,000 possible targets.

Dr. Spencer Reid: So Seattle's where "it" all began.
Derek Morgan: We just need to figure out what "it" is. And off the top of my head, I can think of grunge music and overpriced coffee.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That doesn't seem significant enough for terrorism.
Jason Gideon: If it's a personal cause bomber, it only needs to be of significance to him.

Derek Morgan: Hey, doll face. Ready to work some magic for me?
Penelope Garcia: Challenge me, you beautiful behavioral analyst.
Derek Morgan: Domestic terrorist activity in the Seattle area.
Penelope Garcia: Ugh. Morgan, I said challenge me. Doesn't even raise my blood pressure. Pacific Northwest is, like, ripe with the disgruntled. You have animal rights, zoning laws...
Derek Morgan: Specifically anti-technology?
Penelope Garcia: Ah, yes. My loony opposites.

Derek Morgan: You are the light of my life, sweet lady
Penelope Garcia: Je suis toujours ici pour toi, mon cher
[I am always here for you, my dear]
Derek Morgan: Drives me crazy when you talk this "voulez-choucher" to me! Stop it!


"Criminal Minds: Derailed (#1.9)" (2005)
Derek Morgan: Dammit, Reid, I said don't take the vest off.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Tardive dyskinesia.
Derek Morgan: Once more for those of us who don't have an encyclopedic memory?

Derek Morgan: Come on, Reid, what are you talking about, a magic trick?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah I'm talkin' about a magic trick.

Derek Morgan: And remember, play into the guy's fantasy, believe it yourself.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, did you know that dentists and surgeons have been secretly recruited to implant these during otherwise normal medical procedures? This has been happening on and off since the late 1930s.
[Morgan looks at him]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Told me to believe.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Could you guys do me a favor?
Derek Morgan: Anything.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Could at least one of you look like you're going to see me again?
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: See you when you get back.

Penelope Garcia: [Picks up the phone] Cómo se dice "Hottie"?
Derek Morgan: Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: Precisely!

Dr. Spencer Reid: John Nash, he believed he'd been recruited by aliens, to save the world
Moretti: I saw the movie
Dr. Spencer Reid: Eh, actually the movie is rather inaccurate...
Derek Morgan: Okay, doc, doc, a movie review is not going to help us right now! Let's move
Dr. Spencer Reid: You're right, sorry


"Criminal Minds: I Love You, Tommy Brown (#7.17)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] It was once said that love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to.

Derek Morgan: [voiceover] For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth. -Bo Bennett

Kevin Lynch: Just the guy I'm looking for.
Derek Morgan: Hey, what's up, Kevin?
Kevin Lynch: Can we talk?
Derek Morgan: Is Penelope okay?
Kevin Lynch: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's perfect. In fact, that's why I'm here. Look, I know you're Penelope's boo and she's your baby girl. And what I'm about to embark on involves the keen insight of somebody who knows her inside and out. And no matter how much therapy I've gone through trying to understand your relationship, I know you're that person.
Derek Morgan: Okay, Kevin, land your plane.
Kevin Lynch: I want to propose to Penelope, and I need your help. Please, I'm not asking for your blessing, I'm asking for your advice. Okay, should I do it over a couple tacos and a nice can of Red Bull? All right. Should I take her to New York and do it at the Statue of Liberty? Maybe, I should serenade her at the round table right before you guys present a case. No, actually, that may not work, given the gruesome nature of your job. How about the high tech room, and I... and I pop up on an HD mainframe?
Derek Morgan: Kevin, seriously, I got a meeting I gotta get to.
Kevin Lynch: Derek, please. Come on, bro, this is important.
Penelope Garcia: [Morgan comes into the meeting room] Hi, yeah, what was that about?
Derek Morgan: You know, he just wanted to talk.
Penelope Garcia: About what?
Derek Morgan: Just guy stuff.
Penelope Garcia: Me?
Derek Morgan: I didn't say that.
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia, I'd like to get started.

[last lines]
Kevin Lynch: What's wrong, plum sauce?
Derek Morgan: You know what? I'm gonna let you guys do what you guys do.
Kevin Lynch: You... You know, don't you?
Penelope Garcia: Kevin... I like the way that things are now. I love how you have your space and I have my space, and when we come together, we're our own weird world unto ourselves, and... I don't want to ruin that.
Kevin Lynch: That's not what this would do.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, it would.
Kevin Lynch: [pause] Penelope, are you, are you against marriage, or are you just against marrying me?
Penelope Garcia: Kevin... I'm just not ready yet.
Kevin Lynch: Well, I am.
[walks away]
Penelope Garcia: Kevin.

Dr. Spencer Reid: So I checked the pregnant employees working with the foster program; no indication of maternal desire or postpartum psychosis.
[sits in front of Hotchner]
Aaron Hotchner: What about those who were fired or quit?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Only two were pregnant, but they also had healthy children. The rest didn't fit the profile.
Aaron Hotchner: Okay. We need to warn other parents in the foster system.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [subdued] The police department's already making phone calls.
Derek Morgan: [sits down with Jennifer as Reid looks on] This woman is erratic and unstable. What about someone who was recently released from a mental institution?
Jennifer Jareau: [off-screen] Well, that would explain taking the last victim's clothes. When you enter a facility, they strip you of your identity.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And when you get out of an institution, the first thing you do is try to get your identity back.
Aaron Hotchner: [tapping on a device] I'll get Garcia.

Derek Morgan: For someone on a spree, this unsub sure is patient.
Dr. Spencer Reid: If he's so patient, what is it that he's waiting for?

Aaron Hotchner: We believe the unsub we're looking for is a white female who, based upon the organizational level of the crimes, is in her late 30s to early 40s.
Emily Prentiss: We also believe that something in the last few days has triggered her to think that killing was the only way she was gonna be able to obtain a child. Consequently, the foster families that did not have a child in their care when she visited became her victims.
David Rossi: Because all these families recently had children in their homes, we believe our unsub is motivated by maternal desire.
Jennifer Jareau: Maternal desire is the profound emotional need to mother a baby. This stems from either the tragic loss of her own child, or the inability to have one at all.
Dr. Spencer Reid: This unsub may also fantasize that someone else's baby belongs to her, and this emotion feels beyond her control. A... a woman who miscarries sometimes projects onto someone else's baby, and then sets out to take that child.
Derek Morgan: This may cause our unsub to do something drastic, like commit a Caesarian abduction, or kidnap a random kid. The speed at which the kills are occurring suggests that our unsub is frustrated and devolving.
Jennifer Jareau: This is causing her to go on a spree, which usually ends in a very high body count and suicide by cop.
Derek Morgan: So we should look at anyone who was pregnant and suffering from postpartum psychosis.
David Rossi: We also need to check those who worked for or had access to the local foster system.
Aaron Hotchner: Thank you. Any questions?
[all of the local police officers raise their hands]


"Criminal Minds: The Company (#7.20)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] Worse than telling a lie is spending your whole life staying true to a lie. -Robert Brault

Penelope Garcia: Okay, out with it. Where's your head at presently?
Derek Morgan: Honestly, I'm trying to figure out why I'm not back at that police station trying to break this son of a bitch.
Penelope Garcia: Oh!
Derek Morgan: What are you doing? What was that for?
Penelope Garcia: For thinking that this is about you.
Derek Morgan: Penelope, it is about me. He called me out by name.
Penelope Garcia: [shouts] Oh!
Derek Morgan: Will you stop doing that?
Penelope Garcia: Seriously? Derek, seriously, in... You know, in the entire time I have known you, you are like the glistening hero in the movie of life. And now, just because some guy, some ass-hat guy decides to call you out by name, you think you have the right to get all weird and decide "this time it's personal"? Really? Derek, did you ever stop to think that said ass-hat is exhibiting this behavior just to get under your skin?
Derek Morgan: As a matter of fact, I have.
Penelope Garcia: Okay, you know, well, a real hero would roll with that instead of tripping over his gigantic ego. And as a wise black man once told me, "Baby girl, you be trippin'." So, I tell you what, why don't you call me back once you've gotten off the self-absorption train and decide to be a real hero. The kind that Cindi is waiting for. I am hanging up on you.

Derek Morgan: I'm telling you, that's not the woman I know. She wouldn't do that.
David Rossi: Then, what is it, Derek? Why would she behave this way?
Derek Morgan: She said she needed to cook dinner for him. Is that what you cook for your husband? Would you make that for Will?
Jennifer Jareau: No. I might for Henry, though.
Derek Morgan: Exactly. When I was growing up, this is what Cindi and I ate. This exact brand. Hotch, what did your mom make you for breakfast?
Aaron Hotchner: Oatmeal and orange juice.
Derek Morgan: What do you make for Jack?
Aaron Hotchner: Oatmeal and orange juice.
Derek Morgan: Same brand?
Aaron Hotchner: Uh-huh.
Derek Morgan: She might have been cooking dinner, but it was not for Malcolm Ford.
Emily Prentiss: You think they have a child?
Derek Morgan: Yes, I do.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We didn't profile that. There's no evidence of one in the home or in their lives.
Jennifer Jareau: Unless Ford keeps the child from her to keep her in line. I mean, that fits the profile.
David Rossi: It's a stretch.
Derek Morgan: It's the only theory that would explain her behavior.
Aaron Hotchner: All right, Morgan. Prove it.

Penelope Garcia: [On the phone] Bad, huh?
Derek Morgan: Yeah, yeah, it's pretty bad! Penelope, can you just talk me?
Penelope Garcia: Uh huh, yeah, what about?
Derek Morgan: I don't care, just... just talk
Penelope Garcia: Okay, uhm...
[nervous laugh]
Penelope Garcia: uhm...
Derek Morgan: What?
Penelope Garcia: I... God, this is the first time in my life I don't have anything to say, except that I'm... I'm here for you. Okay, Derek, I'm right here!
Derek Morgan: Yeah, I know you are

Derek Morgan: I need to come clean about something. I lied about someone being dead.
Aaron Hotchner: I'm sorry?
Derek Morgan: Last year, that fisherman unsub that was dumping the bodies in the Atlantic, he claimed that my cousin was one of his victims.
Aaron Hotchner: Falsely. You deduced he'd never met her.
Derek Morgan: I told my family it was him. Cindi had been missing for eight years, and my aunt needed closure. And even though I kept looking, I lied, Hotch. I lied because I wanted my family to move on. But now there's evidence she's alive.
[Hotch doesn't say anything]
Derek Morgan: You still there?
Aaron Hotchner: We're on our way.

Derek Morgan: Hey.
Penelope Garcia: Hey. Um... I... I sent you the case file Chicago PD sent me.
Derek Morgan: I got 'em.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. So there's that. Bad, huh?
Derek Morgan: [soft laugh] Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Penelope, can you just talk to me?
Penelope Garcia: Uh-huh. Yeah, what about?
Derek Morgan: I don't care. Just... just talk.

[the BAU team believes Cindi is suffering an extreme form of Stockholm syndrome]
Yvonne Burns: Like that girl from the '70s, Hearst.
Derek Morgan: Patty Hearst. That's right.
Yvonne Burns: So is Cindi gonna start robbing banks now?
Derek Morgan: No. He's done something a lot worse.


"Criminal Minds: Plain Sight (#1.4)" (2005)
Dr. Spencer Reid: You should see what comes up when you type "death" into a search engine.
Derek Morgan: [laughs] Reid, no wonder you can't get a date.

Derek Morgan: I hate not having a plan. We're looking for a needle in a haystack.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, it's more like we're looking for a needle in a pile of needles.
Derek Morgan: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: A needle would stand out in a haystack.

Derek Morgan: Why the Tommy Killer?
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: You know the rock opera? Well, this unsub glues his victim's eyes wide open.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He wants them to see him.
Jason Gideon: And feel him.

Jason Gideon: You ever feel like there's something obvious right in front of you, you just can't see it?
Derek Morgan: Yeah, usually right before a woman dumps me.

Jason Gideon: The unsub brought his weapons with him. Tape, glue, wire. He did not leave them at the scene. Took them when he left. He has a kind of killing kit that he carries.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Organized killers usually have a skilled job, likely technology related, which may involve the use of the hands. The crime scenes are far enough apart that he needs a vehicle. This will be well-kept, obsessively clean, as will be his home. He's diurnal, the attacks occurred during the day, so the vehicle may be related to his work, possibly a company car or truck.
Derek Morgan: We believe he watches the victims for a time, learns the rhythms of the home, knows his time frame.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: You're not gonna catch him accidentally.
Jason Gideon: He destroys symbols of wealth in the victims' homes. He harbors envy of and hatred toward people of a higher social class. He feels invisible around them.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, class is the theme of the poem which he left at the various crime scenes. At one point in the poem, the woman attempts to bribe Death, but he doesn't accept it. He says this is the one moment when riches mean nothing. When Death comes, poor and the rich are exactly alike.
Captain Griffith: So, he's poor.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Probably middle-class. A decidedly lower-class person would stick out in a highly patrolled neighborhood. This guy appears to, uh, belong there. He blends in.
Detective Cornelius Martin: Why does he glue the eyes open?
Elle Greenaway: The unsub is an exploitative rapist. Most rape victims close their eyes during the attack, turn their heads. For some rapists, this ruins the fantasy. For this type of rapist, the goal is more related to the victim watching him than the act itself.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: The verses, the staging, the aggressive language, "I am death", this is a guy who, while being in control of the crime scene, almost certainly feels inadequate in the rest of his life.
Jason Gideon: That's why he couldn't wait for you to figure out what he'd done. Why he needed to make sure all his crimes were counted. His victims, they represent whatever it is that's controlling him, and he wants that control back. He is under the thumb of a powerful woman who frightens him. And a final point: He is white.
Captain Griffith: We have witnesses that identify him as a black male.
Jason Gideon: The attacker was black. He is not the Tommy Killer.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Mrs. Gordon's husband came home at the same time that he always does. The Tommy Killer would've known that.
Elle Greenaway: And Mrs. Gordon's attacker wore a ski mask. The unsub knows when he walks into a house, he's going to kill the woman who lives there. If you're not leaving any witnesses, why wear a ski mask?
Derek Morgan: And he wants the victims to see him anyway.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Your attempted rapist is a garden-variety, disorganized young man.
Elle Greenaway: As the victim's age goes up, generally the attacker's age goes down. Mrs. Gordon is about 60, which puts her rapist at about 20.

Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: We're going to San Diego.
Derek Morgan: Not for the surfing, huh?
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: They're calling him the Tommy Killer.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Six women raped and murdered in their homes in the last three weeks.
Elle Greenaway: Six in three weeks?
Jason Gideon: That's a short fuse.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: And getting shorter. First two were eight days apart, then the next four in two weeks.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Rapid escalation. You think he's regressing to a psychopathic frenzy?
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: No, he's too controlled for that. See you on the plane.

Dr. Spencer Reid: The verses.
Jason Gideon: Found something?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, not an answer. A question. I... I found the full text; he's pretty much following it to a "T", at least the... the Death side of the conversation.
Jason Gideon: But?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Why didn't he leave them at the first three murders? I mean, this ballad is ten verses long, just on the Death side. He's got plenty to work with. But if it's not part of his signature, if it isn't something that he has to do for an emotional reason, then, I mean, why start?
Jason Gideon: JJ. Find out when the press ran the first story on this unsub.
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: When?
Jason Gideon: After which victim.
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Yeah, you got it.
Derek Morgan: What are you thinking?
Jason Gideon: He wasn't getting enough attention.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Police departments sometimes don't even realize they're looking at a pattern.
Derek Morgan: Yeah, until somebody tells them.


"Criminal Minds: Big Sea (#6.23)" (2011)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] We are tied to the ocean, and when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch, we are going back from whence we came. -John F. Kennedy

David, Rossi: Think it's time to rethink Cindi?
Derek Morgan: Rossi, the only connection right now is Charleston. It's weak.
David, Rossi: Victim number five is an African-American woman in her twenties who died in 2004. That's not weak.
David, Rossi: My aunt has spent years obsessing over Cindi's last few hours. She doesn't go out. She doesn't sleep. She forgets to take her medication. It's killing her, Rossi.
David, Rossi: It hasn't been easy for you, either.
Derek Morgan: But everything I've learned as a profiler has taught me that it's not about what I want to be true. It's about what I can prove.

Dr. Spencer Reid: The wounds on the thigh show hesitation marks. An unsub this experienced wouldn't display that.
Derek Morgan: I don't think the unsub did. The angle indicates left-handed dominance. The file says this guy was left-handed, too.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, if he'd been given trilamide, the unsub could have forced him to cut himself. It makes sense for a sadist with abandonment issues, but wouldn't he finish the job?
Derek Morgan: The victim must have gotten a chance to escape and took it.
Dr. Spencer Reid: But how? The trilamide kept him compliant enough to hurt himself. It overcame his self-preservation instinct.
Derek Morgan: Well, then another instinct must have been stronger.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Like what?
Derek Morgan: A protective one. This guy was mentally and physically compromised, but he still went after the unsub with everything he had.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Who would he fight that hard for?
[cut to Morgan on the phone with Garcia]
Derek Morgan: A child, Garcia. Search nationwide missing persons reports for men traveling with their kids.
Penelope Garcia: Am I looking for a son or daughter?
Derek Morgan: We don't know yet.
Penelope Garcia: No, no, I'm sorry, honey. No dice. Hey, what if they're not reported as missing yet?
Derek Morgan: Yeah, of course not. When the unsub met them, they were starting over. All right, baby girl, new deal. USPS changes of address notices, people moving into Florida and South Carolina.
Penelope Garcia: Done.
Derek Morgan: All right, eliminate women, wives, couples. Narrow it down to men only.
Penelope Garcia: So... so we're thinking divorced dad here, right?
Derek Morgan: Yeah, but not just any divorced dad. This guy wants as much distance between his son and his ex-wife as possible. So look for custody disputes, injunctions, allegations. The messier, the better, Garcia.

Derek Morgan: Drop it. Drop the knife.
Blake Wells: Stand back. Stand back!
Derek Morgan: Okay, okay. I'm gonna put this away, all right? I just want to talk to you. Come on, man. Look at James. He's just a kid. Blake, you don't hurt kids. You're not that guy.
Blake Wells: You have no idea who I am.
Derek Morgan: I know that you're a smart man. You had a long run at killing under the radar. But I also know that we can learn a lot from a man like you. See, studying men like you is my responsibility. And I'm telling you, if you let James go, we can be a part of your life. We won't abandon you, Blake.
Blake Wells: What makes you think I want to teach you?
Derek Morgan: Look at your alternative, man. My guys are ready. They will take the shot and they will kill you. What happens after that, Blake? Do you really think you're gonna get to see your mom again? Or maybe it'll just be cold, dark, empty. Like the water where you put your dad. It's your choice, man.
[Blake drops the knife]

Yvonne Burns: Did you find her?
Derek Morgan: No, Auntie.
Yvonne Burns: I'm never gonna know, am I?
Derek Morgan: He picked out her picture.
Yvonne Burns: He did?... Thank you. Thank you... Thank you.

Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't think this was written under duress. You said Dr. Cormick wasn't taking medication for Parkinson's, right? Look at her handwriting. No indication of tremors or shaking. There's a drug called trilamide. In minute doses it treats Parkinson's, but its main use is for seasickness.
David, Rossi: Something a fisherman would have access to.
Derek Morgan: And criminals in South America. Intel reports say they figured out a high dose makes a victim totally compliant.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, they slip it in your drink or blow the powder in your face and nasodermal absorption's almost immediate. You're instantaneously susceptible to any suggestion. There have been reports of locals letting thugs into their apartments to rob them, even helping them load the getaway trucks.

Blake Wells: [Morgan shows Cindi's photo] I didn't dump her there, did I? She means something to you, doesn't she?
Derek Morgan: They're all special to me, Blake. If you can't remember her, we can just move on.
Blake Wells: I do remember her. You want to know, Agent Morgan, who she cried out for right before I made her slice her own throat?
Derek Morgan: Go ahead. Tell me.
Blake Wells: You. She cried out for you. Where were you when she bled out on the floor of my boat?
Derek Morgan: You're a sick son of a bitch. But you didn't kill her.
Blake Wells: I did kill her.
Derek Morgan: No. You didn't. And I was very clear about the rules. Deal's off.
[Morgan leaves the room]
Blake Wells: I did kill her. You said you wanted to learn from me, and now you won't listen! Hey, come back here! Agent Morgan! I did kill her!
David, Rossi: How'd you know?
Derek Morgan: He knows his victims' names. He didn't know Cindi's.
Blake Wells: Agent Morgan, you get back here!


"Criminal Minds: Elephant's Memory (#3.16)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: So Owen identifies with being a misunderstood loner. You know, I wish all of our unsubs would just tack their profiles on their walls like this for us.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [looks at him] That doesn't mean anything. What, you grew up in Chicago, a high school jock, and you have pictures of Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan on your walls and trophies everywhere?
Derek Morgan: Yeah. But you forgot Walter Payton. Not to mention the sexy ladies of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

Dr. Spencer Reid: [rushing into the briefing room] Sorry I'm late.
[Sits]
Dr. Spencer Reid: .
David Rossi: I hope she was worth it.
Derek Morgan: [turning to look at Reid from behind] I hope it was a she.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Sorry, I was at the movies.
David Rossi: Oh, really, why don't you tell us what it was about.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, I had to leave early, so I can't really -...
[stops because of Rossi's look]

Derek Morgan: You said I was a high school jock. I was, but not at first. My freshman year, I was five foot three. I weighed a buck twenty soaking wet, so trust me when I tell you I got my ass kicked every day. So the following summer, I hit the weights. And I got lucky, I grew six inches. But it was never about vanity, Reid. It was about survival.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I was in the library and, um... Harper Hillman comes up to me, and she tells me that, uh... Alexa Lisbon wants to meet me behind the field house. Alexa Lisbon's like, easily, the prettiest girl in school.
Derek Morgan: So what happened? Alexa wasn't there?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, she was there. So was the entire football team. They... stripped me naked and tied me to a goalpost. So many kids were there, you know, just watching.
Derek Morgan: Nobody tried to stop it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I begged... I begged them to, but they just... just watched. And... finally, they got bored and they left. It was like midnight when I finally got home. And my mom had... mom was having one of her episodes, so she didn't even realize I was late.
Derek Morgan: You never told her what happened?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I never told anybody. I thought... it was one of those things that I thought if I didn't talk about it, I'd just forget. But I remember it like it was yesterday.
Derek Morgan: [sighs] Oh, Reid, you don't need an eidetic memory for that. You know, we forget half of what they teach us in school, but when it comes to the torment and the people who inflicted it, we've all got an elephant's memory.

Sheriff Britt Hallum: Here's your gun safe. I don't know the combination.
Aaron Hotchner: Start with birthdays. Lou's, Owen's, Hope's.
Derek Morgan: Hotch. Dress blues in plastic. No pics of wife and son.
Sheriff Britt Hallum: [trying to open the safe] No luck.
Aaron Hotchner: Try 11-10-75.
Derek Morgan: November 10, 1975? What's that?
Aaron Hotchner: 1775. Marine Corps birthday.
Sheriff Britt Hallum: [the safe opens] You might have just sold me on that profiling of yours.

Derek Morgan: [searching Owen Savage's room] All his clothes are black.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [looking in Owen's closet] Same here.
Derek Morgan: [seeing a poster of Johnny Cash] Just like his friend Johnny Cash. So Owen identifies as being a misunderstood loner. You know, I wish all our unsubs would just tack their profiles on their walls like this for us.

Derek Morgan: [walking the crime scene] Hit pattern says they were fired on full auto. Tight grouping for it. Single burst put 'em both down. That takes skill, and some serious training.
Aaron Hotchner: Letts lands here, still alive. Savage falls there dead.
Derek Morgan: But I walk past Letts, and I shoot Lou Savage in the face when I know he's already dead.
Aaron Hotchner: This was personal.
Sheriff Britt Hallum: They knew each other?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Enough to know Rod Norris would enter through the back door while smoking.
Derek Morgan: And that Lou Savage was on duty and would respond.
Sheriff Britt Hallum: So what are we talking about here?
Aaron Hotchner: This wasn't terrorism, domestic or otherwise. Terrorists rarely know their victims, at least not personally.
Sheriff Britt Hallum: Because they knew Rod Norris was a smoker who used his back door?
Derek Morgan: And shot Deputy Savage in the face at point-blank range.
Sheriff Britt Hallum: They weren't being thorough?
Derek Morgan: No. He walked past Letts, who was alive, shoots Savage in the face when he knows he's already dead. Responders were coming. That last shot was risky overkill.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Overkill means rage. Rage means a close personal relationship.

Derek Morgan: You already checked his computer?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's password encrypted
Derek Morgan: Well, smart move if your dad is a cop
Dr. Spencer Reid: Eh, assuming he cares enough to snoop
Derek Morgan: Hey Reid! Check yourself! That Sheriff out there wanted to take your head off. I think Hotch might have let him!


"Criminal Minds: Hopeless (#5.4)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] Kingman Brewster Jr said: 'There is no lasting hope in violence, only temporary relief from hopelessness.'

Derek Morgan: [voiceover] William Shakespeare wrote 'These violent delights have violent ends.'

Derek Morgan: [discussing a home invasion] If this is related to vandalism, four dead is a hell of an escalation.
Emily Prentiss: So there's the potential for a lot more bodies out there?
Aaron Hotchner: That's what I'm afraid of.

Derek Morgan: You know what gets me? See, we figured you were down and out, pissed off. But you're out here working. What is so God-awful about your life that you've gotta take it out on the rest of the world?
J.R. Baker: It was fun, boss.

David Rossi: [walking the crime scene] Victim one gets dropped here.
Derek Morgan: While number two comes around the corner to see what's happening, and... the unsub attacks him here.
Emily Prentiss: [indicating the dinner table] The female victims were probably here when the first attack occurred.
Derek Morgan: Which means somebody would have to control them pretty quickly.
Emily Prentiss: How many unsubs are you thinking?
David Rossi: At least one to move the body inside, another one to take out man number two, and one more to subdue the others.
Emily Prentiss: Well, vandalism breeds a pack mentality.
Derek Morgan: If it is the same unsubs, then yeah, we're looking at a group of three, maybe four.
David Rossi: These aren't kids. They're too efficient. There's control and precision. Juveniles are sloppy.
Emily Prentiss: He's right. There is nothing tentative about these kills. There's no experimentation. These guys know what they're doing.
Derek Morgan: I don't know...
David Rossi: What are you thinking?
Derek Morgan: I can understand vandalism escalating into violence, but that's usually gradual. An assault, a single murder maybe, but come on, this? This feel fully evolved.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Each of these crime scene locations are a representation of new wealth and status, but the areas surrounding the crime scenes are still populated by long-time residents who are slowly being pushed out.
Derek Morgan: That's a lot of disenfranchised people who are all part of the neighborhood makeup. Most likely these unsubs don't stand out because they're probably local themselves.
Emily Prentiss: I don't know. I'm with Rossi. I mean, anger I get, but this much violence? We're looking at at least three men with an incredible amount of rage. Where do you hide that?

Derek Morgan: [First call after their argument] Hey girl
Penelope Garcia: [down] Hey. We're good?
Derek Morgan: Yeah, we're good
Penelope Garcia: [smiling again] What do you need?


"Criminal Minds: 52 Pickup (#4.9)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: [trying to help Reid learn how to pick up women] What makes you feel confident?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Statistics.
Derek Morgan: No.

Dr. Spencer Reid: I think I'm just going to stay home tonight and man the tipline. Clubs aren't really my thing.
Derek Morgan: Not a chance kid, I need a wingman. Come on.
David Rossi: Actually, there is another angle we need to pursue.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: We still don't know what made the unsub change his victimology. What made him stop killing prostitutes and move into the clubs.
David Rossi: The answer might be something in Viper's class. But to figure that out we need to profile the teacher.
Derek Morgan: You need to bait him, then, with somebody he sees as a challenge.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We need to study his style up close and personal. It's gonna take someone he's already attracted to.
Emily Prentiss: Aww. Aww, this is really gonna suck.

Dr. Spencer Reid: How are you doing?
Derek Morgan: Well, I gave out all my flyers.
Dr. Spencer Reid: How many phone numbers did you get?
Derek Morgan: None. I'm working a case here, kid.
[Reid gives him a look]
Derek Morgan: Okay, four were offered, but I didn't take any of them.
[Reid gives him another look]
Derek Morgan: Alright, look, let me school you a little bit. What you have to do with these ladies, just take control of the conversation. When you're talking what makes you feel like an expert?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, statistics
Derek Morgan: No, trust me. No. Something else.
Dr. Spencer Reid: When I do magic.
Derek Morgan: See, that's perfect. Chicks dig magic.

Derek Morgan: See, there you go. That's what I'm talking about. That's called game.

Derek Morgan: He's making them clean up their own murder!

Jordan Todd: So how bad did I just screw up?
Derek Morgan: On a normal scale of 1 to 10, I'd say a 6, on Hotch's scale: an 11!


"Criminal Minds: Penelope (#3.9)" (2007)
Derek Morgan: Hey silly girl. I love you, you know that, right?
Penelope Garcia: I love you too.

Derek Morgan: Take this gun.
Penelope Garcia: I don't believe in guns.
Derek Morgan: Okay, trust me, they are very real. Take it.

Derek Morgan: I asked her to go out last night. But she was pissed at me. She blew me off.
Dr. Spencer Reid: So you ended up in church?
Derek Morgan: Yeah. What does it mean? On one hand, if she'd gone out with me, she would have never got shot. On the other hand... what are the odds that the first time I pray in twenty years, she's on the table?

Derek Morgan: [about Garcia's protection detail] I'm not going anywhere. This couch right here is gonna be my best friend until we find this guy.

Emily Prentiss: I just talked to Hotch. They think he used a revolver
Derek Morgan: Who the hell uses a revolver?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Someone who doesn't want to leave shell casings behind as evidence.

David Rossi: All right, let's cut the crap! You need to be straight with us. Right now. Look at me, not them!
Penelope Garcia: I am not hiding anything...
David Rossi: You got shot! Most people get shot for a reason!
[Garcia looks around]
David Rossi: Eyes here!
Derek Morgan: Ease up Rossi!
David Rossi: You got a room full of people here, willing to believe that an FBI agent is trying to kill you! We need to know everything you do on company time that we don't know about!
Derek Morgan: Come on, man!
Penelope Garcia: It's nothing bad...
David Rossi: What? Spit it out!
Penelope Garcia: It's nothing bad! It's just... I council victim's families and they know where I work, so sometimes they ask to look into their cases for them.
David Rossi: What does that mean?
Penelope Garcia: Just means that the cases, the unsolved ones, I tag them, so whoever investigates them knows that the FBI considers them a priority.
Aaron Hotchner: You're not authorized to do that.
Penelope Garcia: I know! I was just trying to help.


"Criminal Minds: Extreme Aggressor (#1.1)" (2005)
Derek Morgan: Reid, are you good with this? We've got a woman who's only got a few hours left to live, an incomplete profile and a Unit Chief on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
[Gideon comes in from behind him]
Jason Gideon: They don't call them nervous breakdowns anymore.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's called a "Major Depressive Episode."
Derek Morgan: I know!

Penelope Garcia: You've reached Penelope Garcia in the FBI's Office of Supreme Genius.
Derek Morgan: Hey, it's Morgan. Need you to work some magic here. I got a program called Deadbolt Defense and a girl who has only a couple hours to live, so what do you know?
Penelope Garcia: Then you got a problem. Deadbolt's the #1 password crack-resistant software out there. You're gonna have to get inside this guy's head to get the password.
Derek Morgan: I thought I was calling the Office of Supreme Genius.
Penelope Garcia: Well, gorgeous, you've been rerouted to the Office of Too Friggin' Bad.
Derek Morgan: Thanks anyway.

Derek Morgan: [breaking into an encrypted computer] In six tries?
Jason Gideon: Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Samuel Buckett.
Derek Morgan: Try not. Do or do not.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Gideon looks confused] Yoda.

Derek Morgan: [trying to get into Slessman's head] Okay, so I'm an insomniac who listens to Metallica to get to sleep. What song could possibly speak to me?
Dr. Spencer Reid: "Enter Sandman".

Derek Morgan: They want you back in the saddle! You're ready?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Looks like medical leave is over, boss
Jason Gideon: Are you sure they want me?
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: [Nods yes] The order came from the director
Jason Gideon: Well, we'd better get started!

Derek Morgan: Next time, show a little leg
Elle Greenaway: Morgan! The only time you gonnal see a leg from me is when I'm about to kick your ass!


"Criminal Minds: Broken (#8.15)" (2013)
Detective Edward Sanchez: Gentlemen. Detective Sanchez.
Derek Morgan: Agent Morgan, agent Rossi.
Detective Edward Sanchez: Appreciate the help. Never seen anything like this before.
David Rossi: Consider yourself fortunate.

Penelope Garcia: Let's see. June 22, 1992, Supreme Court ruled Minnesota hate crime laws violated free speech. The defendant burned a cross on the front yard of an African-American family's house who lived next door.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Nothing in the UnSub's profile suggests racial motivation, though.
David Rossi: No, but the cross has me thinking. Many religions suggest that following through on homosexual desires invites condemnation. What if the UnSub is struggling with his faith? Garcia, are there any 6:22 Bible passages that are relevant?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, I thought of that, but the most popular one is Matthew 6:22, and it has to do with lights and eyes. I don't see how that fits.
Derek Morgan: All right, let's look at this another way. What are the passages that specifically relate to homosexuality?
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's it. He's not saying 6:22. He's saying 18:22. As in Leviticus 18:22, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind, for it is an abomination."
David Rossi: He converted 18:22 to 6:22 p.m., like military time.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe, the UnSub suffered abuse at the hand of someone citing God's will that he should change.
David Rossi: It wouldn't be the first time someone took the good book and twisted it for their own agenda.
Derek Morgan: Okay, but if you wanted to change someone's sexual orientation, how could you do it? I mean, you're not gonna guilt somebody into that.
Penelope Garcia: I'm seeing some stuff about an ex-gay movement. It looks like some kind of a 12-step program.
David Rossi: A 12-step program usually doesn't traumatize the participant.
Dr. Spencer Reid: But conversion therapy might. Several conversion camps have been shut down recently 'cause their methods border on torture.
Derek Morgan: Yeah, but why would any faith condone the torture of children?
David Rossi: None of them would. Even a religion that frowns on homosexuality, none of them would cross that line.
Derek Morgan: Garcia, are there conversion camps in the area?
Penelope Garcia: I got a hit. Camp Willing operates just outside of Austin. Their motto is, "It's time to change." And guess which biblical passage is on their home page.

Derek Morgan: What happened to you in that camp, Paul?
Paul Westin: It doesn't matter anymore.
Derek Morgan: Yes, it does. You kill yourself, they get away with it. If you testify, we can shut them down for good.
Paul Westin: What good? I'm an abomination.
David Rossi: No, you're not. If you want to live your life according to a single message, go ahead. But try John 13:34 instead. " A new command I give you. Love one another. As I have loved you, you must love one another."
Derek Morgan: The best way for you to do that is to put that gun down. Paul, you are a victim. And there are others being victimized right now that you can help. Wouldn't Mitchell want you to do everything possible to make sure that nobody else suffered your same fate? Come on. Put it down.

Dr. Spencer Reid: I think... I know what the messages say.
Derek Morgan: Reid, spit it out already.
Dr. Spencer Reid: 6:22.
Derek Morgan: Okay, you talking about Michelle's watch or Doug's watch?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm talking about all the watches. If you take the time the bodies were discovered, subtract the varyings the corresponding watches are off by, you land within plus or minus six minutes of 6:22 every single time. Which, taking into consideration the time between dump and discovery in all the public areas, and the fact that the only broken watch we found was already stuck at 6:22, it's reasonable to deduce the unsub sets the watches to the exact same time just before disposing of the bodies. I'm so stupid; it was literally staring me in the face the whole time and somehow I missed it.
Derek Morgan: Come on, Reid, stop. You're the only person that can realize all of this. So what does 6:22 mean?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I have no idea.
Derek Morgan: Reid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: All I know is what it says. I don't know what it means.

Derek Morgan: You're sure it was the same watch?
Jennifer Jareau: The unsub went to that camp. The watch he put on Michelle's wrist was the exact same model that all the kids were wearing.
Alex Blake: What do you think was behind that padlocked door?
Jennifer Jareau: Well, that could be anything. I mean, come on, we've all read the stories. A conversion camp was just shut down last year for using electroshock therapy on children.
Alex Blake: Another stripped the kids naked and screamed profanities at them.
Jennifer Jareau: We need to go back with a warrant.
Aaron Hotchner: We're gonna need probable cause.
Jennifer Jareau: Well, let's find some. Because there is more going on at that camp than they let on.


"Criminal Minds: ...A Thousand Words (#5.20)" (2010)
Emily Prentiss: Have a good weekend, JJ!
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: [Holds up a case file] Sorry.
Derek Morgan: [Groans] There goes my beach house rental.
Emily Prentiss: And my non-refundable Sin-To-Win Weekend in Atlantic City.
Derek Morgan: "Sin-To-Win?"
Emily Prentiss: Yup. And I always win BIG.
[Smirks]

Derek Morgan: Ugh! This heat is brutal!
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, it isn't so much the heat as it is the humidity.
Derek Morgan: At some point, it doesn't matter how you look at it. It all sucks.

Derek Morgan: Hey, Prentiss. "Sin-To-Win?"
Emily Prentiss: I'm sorry, what?
Derek Morgan: Come on now, I gotta know. What the hell is a Sin-To-Win Weekend in Atlantic City?
Emily Prentiss: Derek, I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, but there are some questions that, if you have to ask them, it means you probably couldn't handle the answer.
[Walks away]
Derek Morgan: ...There is a whole 'nother side to that woman.

Derek Morgan: Hey, Reid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What's up?
Derek Morgan: Our man here was a prolific journaler.
Emily Prentiss: With teeny, tiny handwriting.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He probably had counseling at some point, where journaling was part of his therapy.
Emily Prentiss: That's what we were thinking.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [not quite sure what's coming] And...?
Derek Morgan: And, well, you know the two of us...
[indicating himself and Prentiss]
Derek Morgan: ...it would take us, like, three days to read all of this stuff.
[pause; Reid purses his lips in consideration]
Dr. Spencer Reid: You guys owe me.

Det. John Barton: You ever seen anything like this before?
Derek Morgan: Like what?
Det. John Barton: Everything. The, uh, suicide, the clippings, the journal.
Derek Morgan: I think it's pretty safe to say that no one's ever seen anything like this.

Derek Morgan: How's Reid doing?
David Rossi: It doesn't even seem to faze him. He's just sitting there in the corner, turning pages
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Yeah, Reid goes to another place when he reads


"Criminal Minds: The Popular Kids (#1.10)" (2005)
[Reid is pouring piles of sugar into his coffee]
Derek Morgan: Easy there tough guy. Have some coffee with your sugar.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I need something to wake me up.
Derek Morgan: Ooh, late night?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Very.
Derek Morgan: My man!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Not that kind of late night!

Derek Morgan: So tell me, what does keep young Dr. Reid awake at night? Wait, let me guess. Memorizing some obscure textbook? No, no, no. Working on cold fusion? No, I got it, I got it, I got it. Watching Star Trek and laughing at the physics mistakes.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, there aren't that many scientific errors in Star Trek. Especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors.
Derek Morgan: Right.

[Morgan just saved Reid from a teenaged unsub who had a gun pointed at Reid's head]
Dr. Spencer Reid: What happened?
[As he pins the unsub to the ground]
Derek Morgan: Him bringing us down here was way too much of a coincidence.
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, I got that. Did you have to tackle us both?
Derek Morgan: You're welcome Reid.

Deputy Harris: You guys need anything?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Coffee would be nice.
Derek Morgan: He takes about a quart of sugar in it.

Aaron Hotchner: Contrary to popular belief, there has never been a proven case of satanic ritual killing. Never a verified human sacrifice. Having said that, there have been isolated cases of animal sacrifice... and many, many cases of vandalism in the name of Satan.
Derek Morgan: Now, that doesn't mean that ritual satanism is impossible. And more importantly, for our purposes, there have been cults that killed, just not in ritual fashion.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The reverend Jim Jones and the Peoples Temple... his followers killed a U.S. Congressman and three people before committing mass suicide, leaving over nine hundred people dead. And, perhaps, the most widely-known of the killer cults: the Manson Family, under the direction of Charles Manson, killed nine people in a four day period in an attempt to initiate a race war.
Elle Greenaway: Killer cults do exist, and they all have one thing in common: invariably, they're headed by charismatic megalomaniacs.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You're looking for that leader. He's who will stand out. He'll be memorable to somebody; people who aren't in his group will see him as strange, weird, scary.
Aaron Hotchner: Since we're dealing with professed satanists, which is often practiced by younger males, we may be looking for teenagers. Heavy metal music is often associated with satanism, and these kids and their leader may reflect that in their look.
Derek Morgan: Most likely, there'll be sex, drugs, and alcohol. Now, the leader, he'll be older. It's part of his charm.
Aaron Hotchner: And he is from this area. He's definitely local.
Elle Greenaway: These woods are too thick and confusing for a visitor to get around in.
Sheriff Bridges: You think one of our own people is doing this?
Aaron Hotchner: We're sure of it.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Morgan. You knew I didn't want you to tell Hotch about my nightmares.
Derek Morgan: Reid, that's something they need to know about.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What do you mean "they"?
Derek Morgan: Hotch and Gideon.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You told Gideon, too?
Derek Morgan: Yeah. And it's okay, kid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Well, wh... what if they think I can't do my job? What if... what if they want to pull me off the team?
Derek Morgan: They won't.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Oh, yeah? How do you know that?
Derek Morgan: [frustrated sigh] I just do.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You had no right, man. I... I confided in you. This is... you know, this is exactly what I get when I trust someone. It gets thrown back in my face.
Derek Morgan: Mine started six months after I got into the BAU. Yeah. Mine. We were working a strangler case in Montana. Four victims. Me, I was still pretty young at the time, so, you know, I was feeling myself. I was cocky, I was arrogant. The locals, they didn't have anything, so I stepped up. I said 'I can nail down a profile for you just as soon as I get what I need.'
Dr. Spencer Reid: More victims.
Derek Morgan: Mm-hmm. She was found the next day. So I went down to the scene to do my thing. And as I was looking over the body, that's when I saw them. Her eyes, Reid. They were wide open. And there was something different about them, it was like they were looking right at *me*. Like she knew. I asked for a victim; well, here she was. That's when they started for me. Night after night, I would fall asleep, and I would see those eyes. They were dead eyes. Accusing eyes. And it got to the point where it was happening even when I wasn't asleep. Reid, everywhere I went, I saw those eyes.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What'd you do?
Derek Morgan: Gideon. He knew. I didn't tell him. I was like you, I didn't want anybody to know. He just... he knew. And he sat me down and he... he just kind of talked me through it. I still have the nightmares to this day, just not nearly as often. But when they come back, I know how to handle them better.


"Criminal Minds: Natural Born Killer (#1.8)" (2005)
[Garcia enters the room with a cardboard box]
Derek Morgan: Please tell me you brought some breakfast.
Penelope Garcia: Trust me, sugar. You're not going to want to eat when you see what's in here.

Derek Morgan: [talking through the unsub's murders] Okay, so I've got Helen DiMarco tied to the chair. He probably killed her first.
Jason Gideon: Proof to the others that he had no mercy. Psychological torture before the physical pain.
Derek Morgan: [sigh] Only there was no satisfaction from her death. It was too brief. It was over too quickly. And the husband... with him, he took his time. There doesn't seem to be any wasted effort, no hesitation on the unsub's part. I mean, Gideon, look around. What he did... it's a lot of work. We're either dealing with a professional or...
Jason Gideon: A pure psychopath.

Jason Gideon: Have Garcia go through open files in Maryland, see if any of them involve this level of torture.
Derek Morgan: Got it.
Jason Gideon: Have her check the surrounding states, as well. If... the guy's a pro, why do jobs only close to home?
Derek Morgan: How far back do you want her to go?
Jason Gideon: At least ten years. Guy's no rookie.

Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: [searching a residence registered to Jimmy Baker] Morgan, this is weird. There's nothing here. It's like nobody lives here. I guess he wasn't expecting company.
Derek Morgan: Something's wrong.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Yeah, I know.
Derek Morgan: Look at this place. It's an artificial dwelling... to match an artificial past.

Derek Morgan: Hotch!
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Yeah?
Derek Morgan: We got a hot weapon. Oh, no. It's a Glock 19. And this round is standard law enforcement issue.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: So you're saying Baker's an undercover cop?
Derek Morgan: I'm saying I did 18 months deep cover, and this place has got all the makings of a crash pad.

Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: So far it sounds like a standard double homicide, so why are we here?
Derek Morgan: Massive overkill


"Criminal Minds: The Sandman (#11.17)" (2016)
Derek Morgan: [opening quotation] "Parents are the bones on which children sharpen their teeth." - Peter Ustinov.

Derek Morgan: He was in his pajamas. Ronnie Brewer. Out there by Sideler Road, he was still in his pajamas. I'm sorry, kid, I... I don't know. Six months on the sidelines, I guess I still have a few blisters where I used to have calluses.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't think that's what this is.
Derek Morgan: Oh, no? Then what is it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: You're about to be a dad. You know? You have to expect the world to start to feel different.
Derek Morgan: It just feels so hard. Not as in difficult. Literally hard, like asphalt. It's hard, like... like pavement.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Children are soft.
Derek Morgan: Yeah. Defenseless.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's why every day, we try to make this world a little safer. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that you and Savannah are going to be great parents.

Aaron Hotchner: We're looking for a family annihilator. We believe he's a white male in his early to mid thirties. He is intelligent, well-organized, and meticulous.
David Rossi: Family annihilators are often quick and ruthless, but this unsub prolongs the suffering of his victims.
Dr. Tara Lewis: He appears to kill in stages. First the father, then the mother, and finally the child.
Derek Morgan: The mother seems to be the primary target of the unsub's rage. She is forced to endure a sense of helplessness for up to an hour while her child is in danger.
Sgt. Natalie Whitfield: So we're dealing with a sadist?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yes, but not sadism as we typically think of it. Despite the savagery of the attacks, the killer does not derive gratification from inflicting pain; it's from observing the panic in his victims. The sadism is psychological.
Derek Morgan: Something may have happened in the unsub's childhood where he felt unprotected. Perhaps his own mother turned a blind eye to a real or perceived danger.
Aaron Hotchner: And this could explain the ritual of placing sand and glue in the parents' eyes, symbolically blinding them as punishment.
Dr. Tara Lewis: Ellie Zumwalt survived her injuries, and this may discourage this unsub and make him more cautious.
David Rossi: Or have the opposite effect. It could infuriate him and spur him to attack again soon with increased violence.

Derek Morgan: [Rushing out of his office] Hey, hey, hey, there you are! How you're settling in?
Derek Morgan: Well, you know, it's like riding a bike
David Rossi: Oh yeah, I've been meaning to ask, uh, I've got an opening in my poker group next week. Why don't you join us?
Derek Morgan: Oh, my dance card's kind of full these days, Rossi, you know, getting ready for a baby
David Rossi: Well, that's all the more reason to play, you know, jump start the kid's college fund a little money
Derek Morgan: Okay. Okay, I will see what I can do. I left a file in the conference room
David Rossi: I... I was just in there. I didn't see any files
Derek Morgan: You're sure about that?
David Rossi: Positive! No files! I... I would have noticed
Derek Morgan: All right, your eyes start to do that little thing they do. Let's have it
David Rossi: Have what?
Derek Morgan: It's not my birthday and I said to you: please no welcome back party
David Rossi: All right, look, I'm not saying, but, ehm, I was supposed to distract you, so do me a favor and act surprised when you go in there, all right?
Derek Morgan: All right, I got you covered
[starts walking in, Rossi blocks him]
David Rossi: And let's just keep it an extra 30 seconds, just to be sure
Derek Morgan: [laughs] No problem
David Rossi: So, my eyes do this thing, huh?
Derek Morgan: Little bit
David Rossi: I better work on that before poker night

Derek Morgan: [On the phone] What you got, baby girl?
Penelope Garcia: What I've got is fail, fail, and more fail
David Rossi: Remember Thomas Alva Edison, Penelope: "I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work"
Penelope Garcia: Okay, let me rephrase what I just said: I currently waist-deep in what's not working

Derek Morgan: [closing quote] "Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through. Life's been good to me so far" - Joe Walsh


"Criminal Minds: Sense Memory (#6.14)" (2011)
Derek Morgan: "Hunting is not a sport; in a sport, both sides should know they're in the game." ~~ Comedian Paul Rodriguez

Penelope Garcia: Spin the wheel, and it is sunny Los Angeles, people.
Derek Morgan: Two times in one year?
David Rossi: Remind me again why it's called the City of Angels.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It was originally called "The Town of our Lady the Queen of the Angels."... That was a rhetorical question, wasn't it?

Dr. Spencer Reid: Methanol is compositionally speaking, the simplest of the alcohols. It's actually ubiquitous in the environment. There are small traces of its vapor in the atmosphere, but atmospheric methanol is easily oxidized by sunlight.
Emily Prentiss: Is it toxic?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Ingesting ten milliliters of it will cause permanent blindness, and as little as 30 is potentially fatal.
Derek Morgan: Well, these victims had between five and six ounces in their lungs.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, if they were immersed in it, they would have died even without ingesting or inhaling it. When absorbed through the skin, it depresses the central nervous system to an unsustainable degree.
Derek Morgan: Well, what's it used for?
Dr. Spencer Reid: What isn't it used for? A solvent, an antifreeze. In World War II, the Germans used it for rocket fuel. It's used in wine-making. Its most commonplace use however, is in the creation of other chemicals. Methanol can become plastic, plywood, paint, explosives, permanent-press textiles. It's essentially the chemical used to separate other chemicals from each other.

Derek Morgan: Considering the wide divergence of abduction and dumpsites, this guy could be anywhere. LA is over 500 square miles.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Ah, 498.3.

Penelope Garcia: Live from Quantico, VA, it is divine Miss Penelope. Los Angeles, you're our first and favorite caller. Talk to me.
Derek Morgan: Okay, woman, you do know you're crazy, right?
Penelope Garcia: But like you always say, "Don't hate the playa, hate the game."
Derek Morgan: Okay, playa, my bad.

Derek Morgan: One of the drivers may have picked someone up off the meter.
Aaron Hotchner: The cabs have GPS?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. Taxis are tracked more than Gaga's Twitter.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What does that mean?
David Rossi: I'll explain it to him, Garcia.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, teach him to worship the other Lady G, boss. Ta and ta.


"Criminal Minds: Broken Mirror (#1.5)" (2005)
Dr. Spencer Reid: There's no code of conduct that says agents can't socialize.
Derek Morgan: Well, see, my code of survival says never mess with a woman that carries a gun.

Elle Greenaway: You took a taser hit.
Derek Morgan: Yeah, I did, so?
Elle Greenaway: So, nobody expects you to finish the Davenport file tonight.
Derek Morgan: I guess it's still fresh in my mind. Nothing like fifty thousand volts in the back to keep you motivated.

Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm just saying it's possible. I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think that I do.
Special Agent Derek Morgan: I never said that. When have I ever said that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Every day since I met you!
Elle Greenway: This morning at breakfast...
Agent Aaron Hotch: Yesterday when he beat you at cards. Um... we've got one minute.
Special Agent Derek Morgan: Anybody ever heard of sarcasm?
Dr. Spencer Reid, Elle Greenway: Mm-hmm.

Elle Greenaway: You think Cheryl's a whack job because she claims she can feel her sister's anxiety?
Derek Morgan: I never said "whack job".

Derek Morgan: So what happened with you and JJ at the Redskins game?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Top secret!

Derek Morgan: [after phone call with the unsub and Trish] Guys, she wasn't blindfolded
Jason Gideon: No
Derek Morgan: If she's seen his face... as soon as he gets that money...
Jason Gideon: He'll kill her!


"Criminal Minds: Proof (#7.2)" (2011)
Penelope Garcia: Okay, you can be honest. I can take it.
David Rossi: Okay, I prefer my pasta al dente, and the pancetta was a little weird.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, that's 'cause it's tofu.
David Rossi: Tofu? I give you my recipe and you do an improv?
Penelope Garcia: No, no. I followed it down to the micron, aside from the pig. Look, master of all things Italian, I am having a Fellini festival at my house this weekend, and I must serve the beautiful food of his country.
David Rossi: Maybe you should show a Disney film and stick with burgers.
Derek Morgan: You know, Rossi, you could always give Penelope a cooking lesson.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, my gosh, that would be amazing. That would be like... That would be like the Iron Chef meets the BAU. And we could do it at your house.
David Rossi: I don't have a house, I have a mansion.
Aaron Hotchner: All right. Let's get started.

[last lines]
David Rossi: Cooking is the most sensual art form. And these are my paints.
Penelope Garcia: So your hands must be brushes.
David Rossi: Don't interrupt. In a pot of boiling water, we cook our spaghetti until it's al dente, firm to the tooth. Here you go. Everybody pass it around. See? Feel the texture. There we go. Okay. Now, in a large pan, we fry up our pancetta. Keeping a sharp eye that the edges are crisp.
Aaron Hotchner: But careful not to burn the onions.
David Rossi: Bravo, Aaron! We sauté until translucence.
Derek Morgan: [hearing ding-dong] I got it.
David Rossi: Grazie mille!
[seeing JJ raises the glass to her lips, puts up a hand to stop her]
David Rossi: Oh! Now, we mix in the eggs, the parmesan, the spaghetti and parsley. You see, it's all about timing and rhythm. And if you don't feel yourself doing it properly, please, order a pizza.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Sorry, I'm late.
David Rossi: Yeah. And this is why I cook alone.
Emily Prentiss: So, when do we get to drink the wine?
David Rossi: Almost there. Okay. We start at the beginning. You eat what you cook, I'll supervise, but we're gonna do this all together, just like a family.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [holding the glass] Okay now?
David Rossi: Now. Salud!
Penelope Garcia, Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan, Dr. Spencer Reid, Emily Prentiss, Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Salud!

Emily Prentiss: Hey, Morgan? What do I do about Reid?
Derek Morgan: Emily, there's a lot about you being back that's unresolved.
Emily Prentiss: Oh... are you pissed at me, too?
Derek Morgan: Come on, now. How can I be? You're here.
Emily Prentiss: [relieved] Thank you. Because I know what you went through. Grief counseling, you carried my coffin.
Derek Morgan: Yeah, I sure did. What was in that thing, anyway?

[Lyla is explaining her history with Cy in high school]
Lyla Bradstone: I didn't know what to do. My friends laughed, but... I didn't want to be mean, so I went in the closet with him.
Derek Morgan: And what happened next?
Lyla Bradstone: I let him feel me up.
Emily Prentiss: How did he behave after that?
Lyla Bradstone: He started following me around at school. Then one day, he overheard me tell a friend how gross I thought he was.
Derek Morgan: How he talked, how he smelled.
Matt Bradstone: [Lyla nods] Why didn't you tell me this?
Lyla Bradstone: I was sixteen. We had just started dating.
Emily Prentiss: Does Cy know about your recent marital problems?
Matt Bradstone: Yeah. I... I told him a couple of months ago.
Derek Morgan: [to Lyla] And then he probably started making advances towards you which you had to reject.
Emily Prentiss: That's what triggered the killings.
Lyla Bradstone: [crying] I did this?
Derek Morgan: No. No, ma'am. The events did.

Aaron Hotchner: All right; let's get started.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Oh.
[Realizes the cases are not hers and proudly hands the information over to a thankful Garcia]
Penelope Garcia: Alright, Mes Amis.
[stands to present]
Penelope Garcia: You are jetting to Durant, Oklahoma, because, in the last three days, two women have been found dead after being sexually tortured and then blinded with a sulfuric acid solution. Abby Elcott is our first victim; 19-year-old art student; she was heading to campus for an advanced drawing class. She'd been missing for two days. Same goes for our second victim, Beth Westerly, 17.
[draws a breath]
Penelope Garcia: She had just finished her coffee shop shift and was on her way to a bar method class.
Emily Prentiss: Both low-risk victims.
Derek Morgan: And physically similar.
David Rossi: How close are the two abduction sites?
Penelope Garcia: [looking down at information] 5 miles apart at bus stops. Abby's cell was found near one. Beth's scarf near the other.
[map illustrates her words]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Where're the dump sites?
Penelope Garcia: One in an alley, the other in a field.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So he stapled their eyes open, then he blinded them.
[Spencer's reaction to JJ is seen and she notices it]
Derek Morgan: It's about power and control; maybe he didn't want them to watch while he hurt 'em.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Or it could be about shame; perhaps the unsub is disfigured himself. Blinding the victims leaves them helpless, lost, totally dependent; it may be a manifestation of how he sees himself in this world.
Emily Prentiss: It is a form of enucleation, just without the scalpel.
David Rossi: His face is the last they see before darkness.
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia, come up with a list of jobs that would give the unsub access to sulfuric acid. The rest of us, wheels up in 30 minutes.
[arises from seat]

Dr. Spencer Reid: [voiceover as plane flies] If it is a miracle, any sort of evidence will answer. But if it is a fact, proof is necessary. Mark Twain.
Aaron Hotchner: Victimology is very similar. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed teenage girls.
[looks at photos]
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: We believe they were each abducted near public transportation stops.
Emily Prentiss: [holds up photo] When was this photo taken?
Derek Morgan: Beth was caught on a bank surveillance camera 3 hours before she disappeared; that's a recent photo of Abby.
Emily Prentiss: So, she wasn't found in the same clothes she was abducted in.
David Rossi: Maybe he changed them because hers were burned by the sulfuric acid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's possible. Sulfuric acid can turn human flesh into soap.
[JJ's face as Reid is talking is shown as affected due to their conflict]
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia, any recent similar cases in the surrounding area?
Penelope Garcia: [on laptop] Actually, yes. Two months ago, a prostitute and a runaway were both found raped and killed and they had stab wounds to their eyes.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So maybe he practiced on high-risk victims first.
Derek Morgan: And then advanced to chemical enucleation.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Isn't that a rare paraphilia?
Emily Prentiss: Well, the chemical part is. It would exacerbate the pain.
David Rossi: Like Ed Kemper, he's probably practicing on surrogates, before going after the real object of his rage.
Aaron Hotchner: Dave, you and I will talk to the parents. Morgan and Prentiss, go to the disposal sites. JJ, you and Reid to the abduction sites.
[JJ and Reid's faces reflect their feelings about the orders]


"Criminal Minds: Rite of Passage (#5.19)" (2010)
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: You alright?
Derek Morgan: Yeah.
Emily Prentiss: [shouts] No! Are you out of your mind? You blew out my eardrum!
Derek Morgan: What did you want me to do? He was coming right at us.
Emily Prentiss: I told you I had him!
Derek Morgan: He was shooting at us, Emily.
Emily Prentiss: Well, you could've given me a heads up!
Derek Morgan: What, a loaded MP5 and a shooting lunatic wasn't enough? Come on.

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Be careful with those. I don't need broken MP-5s on our budget.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Hey, guys, here's the thing. I don't think I technically have authorization to carry a weapon like that.
Derek Morgan: You don't.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: [at the same time] You don't.

Derek Morgan: [getting in Unsub's house trailer] Oh, God. We're definitely in the right place. Guys, just breathe through your nose like normal.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Smell is the weakest sense. In a few more minutes, you won't even notice it.
Emily Prentiss: What about the taste?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I think that's in our head.

Emily Prentiss: Hey, where's Hotch?
Jennifer Jareau: Budget meeting
Derek Morgan: Well, maybe he'll get us a raise
David Rossi: They're cutting, not raising. I just hope they don't take the coffee
Dr. Spencer Reid: Then I quit
David Rossi: Oh, yeah. That'll save them like 50 bucks a week

Emily Prentiss: So, what we have is a hundreds of miles of unincorporated desert and an endless supply of anonymous victims crossing the border every day
Derek Morgan: It's a serial killer's perfect storm

Emily Prentiss: [Derek just floored a suspect] Nice!
Derek Morgan: I played a little strong safety in college
Emily Prentiss: No idea what that means


"Criminal Minds: Magnificent Light (#8.9)" (2012)
Penelope Garcia: By the way, uh, totally different subject. I happened upon that invitation guest list for the British embassy thing. Did you know that Madonna and Stephen Hawking are going? Not together, but they're going.
Derek Morgan: Penelope...
Penelope Garcia: Seriously, you're gonna miss a chance to meet Stephen Hawking? Reid will kill you.
Derek Morgan: Well, then I'm dead.
Penelope Garcia: Why don't you want to go?
Derek Morgan: It's personal. How about that?
Penelope Garcia: Oh. Oh, my God, it's personal? That never occurred to me that it would be personal. I thought it was like stock market related or 'cause of the weather.
Derek Morgan: Will you cut it out, already?
Penelope Garcia: Okay. Keep your super secrets to yourself, 007.

Derek Morgan: [closing, voiceover] "The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for." - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Derek Morgan: A policeman pulled over a man, and he said to him, "Sir, your eyes look bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" And that man replied, "Officer, your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?"
[people laugh]
Derek Morgan: You see, that right there was last joke that my father ever told me before he died. A special gift in my life are the eleven years that I did have with him. Because as brief as they may have been, my dad gave me unconditional love. He taught me a sense of duty. And he gave me a reason to keep working hard. Because each and every day, I do all that I know how to do to make my father proud. Now, my dad was taken from this world way too soon. But if he wasn't, I wouldn't be the man that I am today. Now, you may be wondering why I'm talking about him here. It's because my father, the man that I admire the most, looked up to Mr. Jason Ryder, who was honor here tonight. Jason was the most important person in my father's life outside of his family. He was his partner and his best friend. Like my father, Jason strived to be the best he could be. He inspired me to be fearless and to go out into the world and find my inner light. And for that, Jason, I am eternally grateful.
[applause]

Derek Morgan: [Picks up his mobile] Hey Garcia, you're on speaker. What do you got?
Penelope Garcia: The 4-double-1 on Barry Flynn. Hey, has anyone been listening to his "Unlimited Courage", 'cause it's pretty amazing! I've just finished the first CD and I've already signed up for kickboxing class and I'm painting a wall in my apartment white, which is a risky color in my world
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia!
Penelope Garcia: Oh, Sorry!

Derek Morgan: Hey, Baby Girl
Penelope Garcia: If loving you is wrong, Baby Boy, but I don't wanna be right
Derek Morgan: Well, likewise, mama

Jennifer Jareau: While we initially thought Barry Flynn might be a suspect, it turns out we're looking for one of his followers. An unsub who suffers from erotomania. He's obsessed with Flynn, his latest abductee, and he may believe that Flynn's also in love with him.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Erotomania has very little to do with sex. It's a romantic or spiritual connection that erotomanics crave. Victims of the delusion tend to be from a higher social status and have done very little to stimulate or encourage such a belief.
David Rossi: In fact, it's likely the unsub and Barry Flynn have had no previous contact. His infatuation probably began from afar, considering Flynn's celebrity status.
Alex Blake: The patience required to commit his crimes makes us believe he's a male in his late thirties to forties, who is single and socially immature. He's a loner with poor social skills.
Derek Morgan: And although he is capable of holding down a job, he most likely neglects his duties to focus on his obsession. This is a guy who spends much of his time living in his delusional fantasy world, and he may have been tracking Flynn for quite some time.
Aaron Hotchner: And with erotomania, the most likely recipient of violence is the person standing in the way of the desired object.
Alex Blake: It's possible the unsub witnessed an interaction between his two first victims and Flynn, killing them in a jealous rage.
Jennifer Jareau: Another possibility is that the unsub killed them to prove his devotion.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The weapon used had a ceremonial quality to it, which means the unsub probably views these victims as sacrifices, and the messages he is leaving may be meant for Flynn.
Derek Morgan: In his head, he may believe that he's already involved in a personal relationship with Flynn. And now that Flynn is under his control, the situation is especially precarious.
David Rossi: If the unsub is under the delusion that Flynn also cares about him, then any misstep by Flynn that contradicts that belief could lead to more victims, or even Flynn's own murder to prove they have a special bond.
Aaron Hotchner: And with each passing hour, it's increasingly unlikely that Flynn will be able to match the unsub's expectations for him, so we must act quickly. Thank you.


"Criminal Minds: Unfinished Business (#1.15)" (2006)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Guys, we are about to meet Max Ryan, the guy responsible for catching the Boise Child Killer. Have you ever talked to him before?
Aaron Hotchner: He's pretty intense. Brusque, not much of a bedside manner.
Elle Greenaway: Sound like anyone else we know?
Derek Morgan: I heard he was forced into early retirement.
Aaron Hotchner: No, he chose to retire.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He's written a new book on the Keystone Killer case.
Aaron Hotchner: He moved to Philadelphia to be closer to the crime scenes.
Elle Greenaway: That's retirement?
Derek Morgan: BAU style.

Max Ryan: [reading a letter from the Keystone Killer] "Isn't Scott Harbin an inelegant creature? A monster. There is no light with him. No balance. He is pure evil. Balance is what gives one mercy. You'll be reminded of my brand of mercy tomorrow, Max."
Derek Morgan: What does that mean?
Jason Gideon: Scott Harbin's a predator, just not the one we're looking for.

Derek Morgan: Well, that's gotta be a first: a killer actually leading us to another killer.
Jason Gideon: Oh, come on. We all know they make the best profilers. They admire each other's work.

Max Ryan: Did Jason ever tell you about the time that he found the Director's itinerary in a bomber's car?
Dr. Spencer Reid: What? What?
Jason Gideon: Max, come on.
Derek Morgan: No, no, he never said anything.
Max Ryan: Well, let me fill you in, then. We had this bomber case; it was one of Jason's first. So we had him go over and search the bomber's car, which was in the Quantico garage. Except for me and the guys had planted this piece of paper that had all these times and locations of where the FBI Director was gonna be over the next forty-eight hours. Anyway, Jason takes one look at this piece of paper, and before we could stop him, he takes off, runs up twenty-five flights of stairs to the Director's office, barges in.
Derek Morgan: [laughing] Get out of here!
Max Ryan: Interrupting a meeting with the Attorney General himself.
Derek Morgan: [slapping Gideon's knee] Yeah!
Jason Gideon: The Director didn't find it very funny.
Max Ryan: He was the only one who didn't.

Derek Morgan: I need a list, sweetness.
Penelope Garcia: Aw, sugar, you're in luck. Lists are my specialty. Go.
Derek Morgan: All, right. Philadelphia, 1988. I need all car accidents resulting in injuries.
Penelope Garcia: Wow, there's a lot of them. I guess friends let friends drive drunk back then. Okay, I got injuries - thirty-six in a twelve month period.
Derek Morgan: How many were American-made cars?
Penelope Garcia: Almost all of them. Except only five were serious enough to send the drivers to the hospital. Let's hear it for Americian-made safety.

Max Ryan: [reading a note] "In order for the light to shine so brightly, darkness must be present"
Jason Gideon: It's quoting Sir Francis Bacon now
Max Ryan: I used this specific quote...
Dr. Spencer Reid: In your book on page 184. I, eh, read it on the plane
Max Ryan: And you remembered the page number on that quote?
Derek Morgan: Don't ask!


"Criminal Minds: Children of the Dark (#3.4)" (2007)
Derek Morgan: Hey girl, you're on speaker. Behave.
Penelope Garcia: Or what, you'll spank me?

Tyler: They're lies.
Derek Morgan: I know. But you could have come in here and you could have made her pay. And you didn't, because you're good. You're not Gary. No, you're nothing like him.

Derek Morgan: Look at me. I don't want to hurt you, okay? Let's make a deal. You give me that gun, I promise you I will walk you out of here and you will never have to come back. Sound pretty good?

Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: We're looking for two men. Probably white, given the neighborhoods that they hit, mid to late twenties, intelligent, and organized.
Derek Morgan: These are career criminals. One or both has done hard time, but neither presents as a convict. They would appear clean-shaven, well dressed...
Emily Prentiss: Neighborly. This helps them talk their way into the homes. They may also be using a ruse.
Lt. Nellis: What kind of ruse?
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Given that the invasions have taken place in the evening, it could be anything. Could be door to door sales, person in distress, car trouble.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, Derrick Todd Lee used a tape of a baby crying to get women to open their doors in Baton Rouge. Never underestimate their creativity.
Emily Prentiss: These men share a very tight bond, and a mutual compulsion to kill, but their signatures reveal two very distinct personalities.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: One brutalizes the parents. This is the dominant one. Sadistic, remorseless, extremely volatile.
Emily Prentiss: The other prefers a needle. His injections are consistent with an angel of death. He's more withdrawn, sensitive, and he has a warped sense of mercy.

Derek Morgan: Yeah, I understand that. I'm just... I'm asking some type of alternative for that... Nothing? Yes, I got it. Don't ask me if I like it.
Emily Prentiss: Oh, what? What is it?
Derek Morgan: Social Services won't intervene to a regular formal investigation.
Emily Prentiss: We have to take them home?
Derek Morgan: Yeah.

Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: You answer your door and the next thing you know everyone you care about is gone!
Derek Morgan: If it's me, I wanna be gone too!


"Criminal Minds: Magnum Opus (#8.13)" (2013)
Derek Morgan: What's up, Reid?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Have the cornea or pupils been harmed in any way?
Derek Morgan: No, no. Blake said it looked like a very sharp instrument was used.
Dr. Spencer Reid: If he's taking care not to damage the eyes, then line of sight is probably what's important to him.
Derek Morgan: So this guy wants them to see what he's doing. Hey, Reid? How are you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I gotta go.
[hangs up]

Alex Blake: He removed the white blood cells. Plasma.
David Rossi: Why would he take the plasma?
Aaron Hotchner: It would make it thicker. Easier to use as a paint.
Derek Morgan: What type of equipment would it take to do that?
Alex Blake: You can easily buy a centrifuge online these days for a couple hundred bucks.
Aaron Hotchner: What other reasons would he have for separating the plasma from the blood?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's a habit.
Aaron Hotchner: Reid.
Jennifer Jareau: Spence.
Aaron Hotchner: I didn't expect you back this soon. You sure you're ready?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, but I think I figured something out.

Dr. Spencer Reid: I think Hughes may have his next victim. An Alan Archer just came in and reported his boss missing. Madison Riley owns an art gallery in the Mission District. Said there was blood, signs of struggle. Hughes even left a painting of his on the wall this time. It's the same signature and it's definitely made of blood, which got me thinking about Maeve's stalker. If this guy's a tortured artist searching for approval, in his mind there may be only one way to get it.
Derek Morgan: Suicide. Thanks , Reid.

Penelope Garcia: Ladies and gents, the Golden State awaits. Meet who is formerly Gary Porter. He was found dead outside a San Francisco nightclub last night, and Pamela Hurd, she was found near a cable car stop in San Francisco's Mission district.
Jennifer Jareau: They were both found wrapped in clear plastic.
Derek Morgan: Says here they were dead only a few hours before they were found. And that's not long enough for the elements to have made them that pale.
Penelope Garcia: Because that's where we enter the town of Weirdville on the corner of eww and icky icky. Both victims were almost completely drained of their blood. Less than a pint left.
Alex Blake: He's exsanguinating them.
Aaron Hotchner: While they were still alive.
Derek Morgan: Well it might be utilitarian. He needs them alive so they can pump out the blood themselves.
David Rossi: Draining a body like that is extremely hard to do. Once the heart stops pumping, it's difficult to continue to extract the blood.
Alex Blake: So the question is how is he doing it?
Penelope Garcia: Oh, I wish you wouldn't ask that, 'cause now I've gotta show this picture.
Aaron Hotchner: There are large bore holes in the femoral artery of each victim.
Jennifer Jareau: Our unsub could have medical knowledge.
Aaron Hotchner: It's possible. We'll know more when we get there. Wheels up in thirty.

Aaron Hotchner: We believe that this unsub is a white male in his 20s or 30s, and he thinks of himself as a painter or an artist.
Alex Blake: The placement of the victims tells us a lot about who he is.
Jennifer Jareau: Pamela Hurd was found near a painting done by a little-known San Francisco artist, Henry Floyd.
Derek Morgan: Gary Porter was posed near a piece of graffiti art by a street artist named Cypher, who is currently wanted by the police.
Aaron Hotchner: And the third victim, Lynn Stevens, was found near a mural painted by inner-city youths.
Alex Blake: Finally, Amy Fortner was placed near the statue of St. Luke, patron saint of the artist.
Jennifer Jareau: This is a compulsion; it's not accidental. He is obsessed with art.
David Rossi: All of the works of art are neglected, ignored, cast aside. It's how he feels about himself.
Aaron Hotchner: We believe it's also the reason that he's evolved into removing the victims' eyelids. He's forcing them to see what he sees.
Jennifer Jareau: There's no sexual component with these murders, but that's because the blood and the use of the blood is his sexual release.
Det. Lennon Miles: So, wait. What... what is he doing with the blood?
Aaron Hotchner: Because he's so obsessed with art, we believe he's painting with it.
David Rossi: He has a quick kill pace. More blood means more paint. The more paintings he does, the greater the chance someone will recognize his work.
Aaron Hotchner: We think that because of his need for acceptance, he may be trying to sell the paintings, so focus your canvassing on places that might sell this kind of fringe art.

Derek Morgan: What's up, baby girl?
Penelope Garcia: I'm worried about Reid.
Derek Morgan: I am, too.
Penelope Garcia: What do you think he's doing?
Derek Morgan: I think he's taking the time that Hotch gave him.
Penelope Garcia: I get it, he's sad. He should be sad, with the... I'm just... I'm so worried, and... and when someone I love is hurting, it's like I hurt, too, which I know is super co-dependent, but it's just how I roll, and I feel like I should be doing something and I... I don't know what it is.
Derek Morgan: All right, slow down. All right? Just slow down.
Penelope Garcia: Could you call him?
Derek Morgan: I have. He's just not ready to talk to anybody right now.
Penelope Garcia: I... I need to hear his voice. It's impairing my ability to work.


"Criminal Minds: The Caller (#9.10)" (2013)
Derek Morgan: [calls Garcia] Yeah Baby Girl, I need you, boo
Penelope Garcia: Always ready and eager to serve you!

Marla Golden: When I first came to this country, I did things I'm not proud of. But I had to survive.
Derek Morgan: Did you ever do anything involving a child?
Marla Golden: No, I would never.
Derek Morgan: What about any S&M? Were you ever paid to be tortured?
Marla Golden: Once a long time ago, there was a couple. It was an American man, and his wife from... Eastern Europe or somewhere. She was very petite. The man wanted to torture us with whips and videotape it.
David Rossi: How bad was the torture?
Marla Golden: For me it was pretend. I didn't let it get too far. But his wife seemed really scared. For her I think it was brutal.

Jennifer Jareau: No signs of forced entry or a struggle, according to the initial police report.
Penelope Garcia: Mom and dad put him to bed at ten. Woke up this morning, he was gone.
Alex Blake: Any visitors or workers to the house recently?
Penelope Garcia: No, but the parents say in the last two weeks, they've received five phone calls from what sounds like a little boy prank calling them.
Aaron Hotchner: They complained to authorities, but police determined that no laws had been broken.
Penelope Garcia: Mm-hmm. The little boy says "I'm gonna get you", according to police reports. There's a lot of crazy people talking in the background; it sounds like it's coming from an asylum or prison.
Derek Morgan: Well, I'd say the calls might coincidental, except the boy called again right after the parents found Andy missing, and he had a different message this time; "Did you see what I did?".
Jennifer Jareau: So he's taunting them. Maybe this is about revenge.
Alex Blake: "I'm gonna get you" is typically a threat, but in the case of children, it can also be a phrase used during play.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, this sounds similar to a cold case from fifteen years ago. Frankie Clayvin of Memphis.
David Rossi: I remember that. Gideon handled it. It obviously pre-dates all of you.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Frankie Clayvin was nine years old at the time. He never made it home from school one day, was found dead in the woods thirty-six hours later five miles from his house.

Jennifer Jareau: Phone calls before an abduction/murder? It's a rare signature.
Derek Morgan: But if it is the same unsub, a dormancy period of fifteen years is highly unusual. Maybe we're looking at a copycat.
David Rossi: If I'm not mistaken, Frankie Clayvin was killed within two hours of his abduction.
Aaron Hotchner: Which means we're wasting time. Let's go.

Malcolm Taffert: The police made us sit and wait until something went wrong.
Lida Taffert: It makes no sense at all.
Derek Morgan: I know it feels that way, and we're very sorry, but we're just...
Malcolm Taffert: You're sorry? You're sorry. Do you have kids?
Derek Morgan: No.
Malcolm Taffert: Then you have no idea what this feels like!
Derek Morgan: Sir, we don't presume to understand how hard this is for you, but what we can do is help you try to find Andy.


"Criminal Minds: The Tribe (#1.16)" (2006)
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: [indicating the hogtied prisoners] We took down these four.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Without firing a shot?
John Blackwolf: Captain America here shot number five.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: You're welcome. Number six is cut up pretty bad. I don't think he's gonna make it.
John Blackwolf: At least I didn't shoot him.
Derek Morgan: I think I'd rather be shot.

Derek Morgan: Ingrid isn't catatonic anymore, but she's answering every question with only her name and Social Security number.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Like a prisoner of war.
Derek Morgan: There's more. Garcia did some checking. Ingrid hasn't been enrolled in school for over a year. She had good grades. Just suddenly dropped out and vacated her campus apartment. She left no forwarding, Hotch. We have no idea where or how she's been living.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Thanks.
[Hotch hangs up]
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: I need to see Peter Griesen's phone records.
[cut to Hotch entering the interrogation room with Griesen]
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: How long has your daughter been in a cult?

Elle Greenaway: What are you doing out of your bunker?
Penelope Garcia: [distracted by Sean] I was on my way to file the things that I... file.
Sean Hotchner: [approaching] Excuse me.
Elle Greenaway: Hi.
Sean Hotchner: I'm...
Derek Morgan: [entering] Sean, hey. Derek. You must be looking for your brother.
Sean Hotchner: Yeah.
Derek Morgan: Right this way.
Elle Greenaway: Brother, as in... that's Hotch's brother?
Penelope Garcia: Maybe Hotch is adopted.

Jennifer Jareau: Terra Mesa, New Mexico. Five dead, all from Mesa University. No signs of sexual assault, and no sign of theft.
Derek Morgan: Five nineteen-year-olds, minimal defensive wounds. One of them was impaled on a six-foot wooden pole.
Elle Greenaway: Who'd want to torture five college freshmen?
Derek Morgan: They weren't tied up and no one escaped?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No single unsub could've exerted this much control over so many people.
Elle Greenaway: So you think there were was more than two.
Jason Gideon: I think we're looking at a pack.
Jennifer Jareau: A pack?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Three or more that kill in unison. As in nature, the group dynamic dictates the pack's survival is dependent on their ability to hunt successfully.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: And as in nature, a pack will keep on killing until it runs out of prey or is stopped.
Elle Greenaway: Stopped by what?
Jason Gideon: A stronger pack.

Derek Morgan: You know, your rhetoric sounds just hateful enough to justify violence.
Roy Minton: We don't need to stoop to their level. We're fighting the Indians in court.
Derek Morgan: Is that right? Then why all the guns, Roy? Our records show that your 200 members carry over 450 firearms.
Roy Minton: We're simply exercising our constitutional right under the Second Amendment. We have the right to defend ourselves.
Derek Morgan: 450 guns, Roy. I don't think so. That's not self-defense. That's plain paranoid.


"Criminal Minds: Final Shot (#9.3)" (2013)
Derek Morgan: 12 shots were fired?
Agent Tanya Mays: That's right
Jennifer Jareau: It sounds like an amateur
Agent Tanya Mays: You'd think?
Derek Morgan: Well, 6 people were hit. That's a 50% success rate, during a crowded lunch hour with a high powered riffle at a range of 200 yard. An average Joe can hit that many people
Jennifer Jareau: Trained snipers hit 98% of their targets

Derek Morgan: Hey. Talk to me, baby girl.
Penelope Garcia: I've been reading these heinous things that have happened to these women at the hands of their abusers, and can I just say, thank God for men like you who are strong, yet gentle at the same time...
Derek Morgan: Okay. Guess what I'm about to put you on speaker. Maybe you want to stick to the facts.
Penelope Garcia: Right. The facts, okay.

Aaron Hotchner: We're looking for an LDSK, or a long-distance serial killer. He's a very skilled marksman with a god complex.
Derek Morgan: He derives pleasure out of remaining unseen and determining the fates of people from afar.
Jennifer Jareau: He's criminally sophisticated and methodical, concealing his method of ingress and egress, leaving little evidence behind in the sniper perches.
Alex Blake: This suggests a great deal of experience, so this unsub has a military or a law enforcement background, possibly even Special Forces.
Dr. Spencer Reid: His victims at first to be targets of opportunity, but it now appears that one or more of them are targets of choice. The remaining victims were collateral damage to be used as a forensic countermeasure; similar to what John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo did with the D.C. sniper case in 2002.
Derek Morgan: This means there's some unknown connection between one or more victims at the first and second crime scenes.
Agent Tanya Mays: What about the Caucasian male that an eyewitness saw at the plaza?
Derek Morgan: It's something to consider, but we can't rule out others. We know that the unsub is likely in his late thirties to forties, in order to have the means and patience to plan and execute these attacks.
Aaron Hotchner: If he still has specific targets, it's likely he won't wait long to attack, so the public needs to remain vigilant.

Dr. Spencer Reid: We have to hope Maya follows the rules. The shelter says the women are supposed to remain in hiding for at least two months. They're supposed to stay behind closed windows, closed doors. Volunteers bring supplies and food to them.
Agent Tanya Mays: Maya left her husband six weeks ago, so the killer's gotta wait another two weeks for her to come out. There's a good chance he'll give up. He can't wait forever.
Aaron Hotchner: Well, a sniper can wait up to seventy-two hours without sleeping.
Agent Tanya Mays: Seriously?
David Rossi: That's part of their training. They can stay awake for seventy-two hours and reamin completely focused on their target.
Agent Tanya Mays: How?
Aaron Hotchner: By using a mental exercise called fantasy integration. The sniper creates a scenario involving the target that keeps that person at the forefront of their mind.
Derek Morgan: Often, they'll imagine a place where they're with the target doing something together that takes time; for example, building a car.
Jennifer Jareau: For some, the fantasy begins the minute they're assigned a target, and nothing will distract them.
Agent Tanya Mays: So as long as she stays inside, she should be safe, right?
Alex Blake: The problem is staying cooped up for a couple months without a breath of fresh air is hard to do.
David Rossi: It's what the sniper's counting on, and she has no idea he's waiting for her.

Jennifer Jareau: A guy who works for a paramilitary company probably thinks he's invincible.
Derek Morgan: I don't know. He knew something about his wife. The way he smiled at me before he died, he was smug. It's like he was trying to say "You're not gonna find her in time."
Agent Tanya Mays: He'd rather die than let her live.
Derek Morgan: It's the classic psychology of the narcissistic abuser. You know, we may be looking at two unsubs.
Jennifer Jareau: He hired someone to kill her.


"Criminal Minds: The Black Queen (#9.12)" (2014)
Penelope Garcia: Oh, beauty and brains! Hey eyebrows: when they do the men of the FBI calendar, is it just 12 months of you?
Derek Morgan: Welcome to the team!

Derek Morgan: [opening quote] "People often say that this or that person ''has not yet found himself'', but the self is not something one finds, it's something one creates" - Thomas Szasz

Penelope Garcia: It's time.
Derek Morgan: Time for what?
Penelope Garcia: Isn't it obvious, eyebrows? I have to get into character.

Shane Wyeth: When I win, what do I get?
Penelope Garcia: When you log on to the DOJ website, there'll be a picture of me and Super Special Agent Derek Morgan with shoes on our heads.
[Shane grins and disappears]
Penelope Garcia: He just left the table.
Derek Morgan: Did he take the bait?
Penelope Garcia: I don't know.
Derek Morgan: What's the shoe on the head mean?
Penelope Garcia: Uh, it's an Internet thing.

Penelope Garcia: So, I have a confession to make.
Derek Morgan: Mm.
Penelope Garcia: You are not the first guy to call me "baby girl."
Derek Morgan: Get outta here.
Penelope Garcia: It's true.
Derek Morgan: It better not be that guy.
Penelope Garcia: Oh. No. Actually, it was a different guy.
Derek Morgan: Okay, I'll bite. How did this pretender to the throne end up stealing my fire?
Penelope Garcia: I'm going to tell you, but first, I have to explain an explicit, sexually inappropriate detail what a flarpy blunderguff is. Okay, so, you need like an oil-based paint and some charcoal and some sort of food that you love. I mean love, because you are gonna be with it...


"Criminal Minds: In Name and Blood (#3.2)" (2007)
Derek Morgan: Garcia, baby girl, please tell me something I wanna hear.
Penelope Garcia: You're a statuesque god of sculpted chocolate thunder.
Derek Morgan: How about something I don't already know.
Penelope Garcia: I have a sweet tooth?

Erin Strauss: Call in S.W.A.T., secure the perimeter, wait for him to come out.
Derek Morgan: Ma'am he's holding a woman inside.
Erin Strauss: We don't know that for certain. We don't have probable cause.
Aaron Hotchner: She's right.
Erin Strauss: If he's got her he waits 48 hours, he's not gonna kill her yet.
Derek Morgan: He's changed the pattern of the dump sites, now he's changed how he abducts them. Do we really want to gamble that he's sticking to the rest of the model?
Cop: So let's pound on the door! Maybe he'll panic.
Aaron Hotchner: But he could spook just enough to kill her early.
Emily Prentiss: I want to go in alone. The boy's in the family room, he'll answer the door.
Erin Strauss: No.
Emily Prentiss: We need to get invited in that door. He's looking for female authority figures. If he lets me in I can signal as soon I see anything that gives us cause.
Erin Strauss: Technically you're not even in the FBI.
Aaron Hotchner: All the better.
Erin Strauss: She's interfering with a federal investigation!
Emily Prentiss: Well if I'm no longer in the FBI then you have no authority over me. I'm just a civilian knocking on a little boy's door.
Derek Morgan: Prentiss.
[hands her a gun]
Emily Prentiss: Thanks.
Aaron Hotchner: As soon as you have probable cause, give us the signal and get out of there.
Emily Prentiss: Okay.

Derek Morgan: Derek Morgan. Spencer Reid, Jennifer Jareau, and Section Chief Strauss.
Det. Vic Wolynski: Vic Wolynski, Milwaukee P.D.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You worked on Jeffrey Dahmer case?
Det. Vic Wolynski: Sixteen years ago. I worked and studied it. You remember my name?
Jennifer Jareau: He remembers everything.
Derek Morgan: It's what he does.

Derek Morgan: What? No Hotch, now no Gideon?
Jennifer Jareau: No, not yet
Derek Morgan: These guys have been out two weeks! You'd think at least they can do is be on time!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah! 'Cause you're never late!
Derek Morgan: So, where is Prentiss?
Jennifer Jareau: Her phone keeps going straight to voicemail
Derek Morgan: Well, this team gets smaller and smaller, doesn't it?

Erin Strauss: So do we have a working theory?
Derek Morgan: Sure we do: somebody really doesn't like women!


"Criminal Minds: True Genius (#7.11)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] Three can keep a secret, if two are dead. -Benjamin Franklin

Derek Morgan: At the very least, the Zodiac would have to be about sixty by now.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Yeah, but it doesn't take a lot of strength to pull a trigger.
Derek Morgan: No, but it takes a lot of skill not to get caught for forty years.

Derek Morgan: What's he doing?
Dr. Spencer Reid: We've been thinking about this case too linearly. Based on the complexity of the code, it's obvious this UnSub is operating on several different levels, so we need to start thinking in multiple dimensions.

[last lines]
Emily Prentiss: Hey, Reid. Hotch wants to talk to you. What's wrong?
Dr. Spencer Reid: He probably wants to talk to me about why I've been kind of weird lately.
Emily Prentiss: You are making a difference, you know, one person at a time.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Thank you. You know, I've been thinking a lot lately about why I stayed after Gideon left, why I didn't take any of those other offers.
Emily Prentiss: Nothing is accidental.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And I realized, I don't know, there's just something incredibly right about being here, with you guys.
Emily Prentiss: Well, I'm glad to hear that. Otherwise this would have been really awkward.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What would have been really awkward?
Penelope Garcia: Surprise!
Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia, Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan: Surprise! Happy birthday!
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Happy birthday!
Penelope Garcia: Happy birthday!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Thank you.
Aaron Hotchner: Do you feel like 30?
Derek Morgan: Happy birthday, old man. Happy birthday. Almost 40 now.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm getting close.

Penelope Garcia: Wait for it
[and shows picture of the crime scene]
Derek Morgan: The Zodiac?
David Rossi: No way
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Come on, it's got to be the 2.0 version


"Criminal Minds: With Friends Like These (#6.19)" (2011)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] Siddhartha Buddha said, "It is not his enemy or foe that lures him to evil ways".

Derek Morgan: Penelope, you gotta stop staring at her. Prentiss wouldn't want us to sulk. You know that.
Penelope Garcia: I'm not sulking. I'm surrounded by testosterone now.

Derek Morgan: Did this guy and Karen interact?
Ben Foster: [in Paul's flashback] I have a hypothetical for you.
Paul Jones: He said something to her, but she blew him off.
Derek Morgan: Just put her head down and said something dismissive back?
Paul Jones: Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
Derek Morgan: We tend to do that when strange people talk to us. Unfortunately, it can backfire.

Mrs. Donnolly: Gosh, I've been in this building 27 years. Now, the worst incident we ever had was when Benjamin Headley up in 402 found out his wife was sleeping with the cleaner guy and shot him in the groin.
Derek Morgan: You've been a really big help, Mrs. Donnolly. Thank you very much.

Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, that profile kind of makes it sound like schizophrenia leads to serial killing.
Derek Morgan: That's not what we said at all, Reid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, my mom has schizophrenia. There are many different types.
Derek Morgan: I know that.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Catatonic, disorganized... Just because someone suffers from an inability to organize their thoughts, or they can't bathe or dress themselves, it doesn't mean they'd stab someone in the chest 30 times postmortem.
Derek Morgan: Reid, what's really going on?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Our UnSub's hallucinations aren't fractured like a typical schizophrenic. They're vivid and clear, leading me to believe that we're missing an important variable. Rather than making crazy conjectures, I think we should be trying to figure out what it is.
Derek Morgan: Okay, listen to me. I know this is a scary age for you. It's when schizophrenic breaks happen. Have you talked to anybody about this?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Emily.
Derek Morgan: Have you seen a doctor?
Dr. Spencer Reid: They all say I'm fine.
Derek Morgan: Then why don't you believe them?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Because predicting one's chances of developing a genetic condition are like finding a penny in an ocean. I have terrible headaches. I can't sleep at night. I can't focus on our cases. I only read five books last week.
Derek Morgan: Come on, kid, you gotta cut yourself some slack. You're also depressed about Prentiss, and I get it. We all are. Reid, I miss her every day. But if your mind was splitting, do you really think you'd be able to figure out that this team is missing a variable?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm just speculating that we are. I need to prove it.
Derek Morgan: Okay, then, you do that. The moment you are wandering around the streets aimlessly, that's when I'll be concerned about you. Come on, pretty boy. Let's get to work.


"Criminal Minds: Self Fulfilling Prophecy (#7.9)" (2011)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] Things do not change. We change. -Henry David Thoreau

Derek Morgan: [voiceover] Beware, so long as you live, of judging men by their outward appearance. -Jean De La Fontaine

Erin Strauss: Were all the victims friends of Bailey's?
Colonel Ron Massey: "Brotherhood is the very price and condition of man's survival."
Derek Morgan: Carlos Romulo.
Colonel Ron Massey: All of my boys are brothers.

Derek Morgan: Colonel Ron Massey, you're under arrest.
Colonel Ron Massey: I've done nothing.
Derek Morgan: You texted Chris Shelton the coordinates of the campsite. That makes you an accessory to murder.
Colonel Ron Massey: Texted?
Derek Morgan: Okay, fine. You had Tawes do it.
Colonel Ron Massey: Why would I do that?
Derek Morgan: Because you had no power or control over Josh, and you couldn't handle that. The problem is, he wasn't gonna go away quietly. He wanted you to pay for all these years of abuse.
Colonel Ron Massey: No one will believe Josh. He's a troubled boy.
Derek Morgan: He's a grown man, Colonel. You should be proud.

Aaron Hotchner: Dave, did you find anything in the woods?
David Rossi: Josh's tent was secluded, his things were left behind. He just took off.
Aaron Hotchner: Massey said he never got any respect from Josh.
Jennifer Jareau: Josh's own parents said he was impossible to control.
Dr. Spencer Reid: His course load indicates increased isolation.
Emily Prentiss: Isolated, smart, angry. That could be a budding psychopath.
Erin Strauss: What are you saying? Josh Redding killed his classmates? And he's not missing, he's on the run.
Derek Morgan: And he has been for a week.
David Rossi: One hell of a head start.
Emily Prentiss: With all the skills he could ever need.


"Criminal Minds: Profiling 101 (#7.22)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: Does anybody here know exactly what a serial killer is?
David Zimmerman: Someone who's committed more than one murder.
Derek Morgan: That's very good. By statute, three is the magic number. And it's actually more qualitative than quantitative for us.
David Rossi: Today we're going to talk about how some serial killers get made. Because if you can understand that, then you can figure out a way to catch them.

Derek Morgan: In the meantime, Agent Rossi retired, but the BAU grew. We trained more profilers, hired tech analysts, press liaisons, and we even got our own resident genius.
Penelope Garcia, Dr. Spencer Reid: Thank you.

David Zimmerman: How come I've never heard of this guy?
Derek Morgan: Have you ever heard of Efren Saldivar?
David Zimmerman: No.
Derek Morgan: David Parker Ray? How about John Edward Robinson? See, at any given time, we have at least 25 open cases. Every year we're able to close around 15, yet new ones still seem to pop up. There are more serial killers out there than you may think.

David Rossi: Irish statesman and author Edmund Burke once wrote: The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. This job isn't just what I do, it's who I am.
Devin: Is it worth it?
David Rossi: For every life we save? Damn right it is.
Derek Morgan: Absolutely it's worth it.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I can't imagine doing anything else.

Emily Prentiss: This focus on reproductive organs could also indicate a deep-seated sense of self-loathing. He might have hated the fact that he was born.
Jennifer Jareau: Or he had some sort of traumatic life-changing event associated with birth.
Derek Morgan: And he could have hated his own mother. The strained mother/child relationship is a hallmark for many killers.
Diane: That doesn't make any sense. "I hate myself, or I hate my mother, so I kill women by ripping out their wombs"?
David Rossi: It only needs to make sense to him. One man's logic is another man's crazy.


"Criminal Minds: Dorado Falls (#7.3)" (2011)
Derek Morgan: Emily, I thought I lost you, and I blamed myself. Now you're back, but I don't want to be worried about losing you again and get distracted.

Derek Morgan: So, Synalock is clean.
Penelope Garcia: As a whistle. Which reminds me, you know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and blow.
Derek Morgan: I love it when you talk old movies. Later, baby girl.

Derek Morgan: He said his parents had been replaced.
Emily Prentiss: He just sounds delusional.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, he might have Capgras syndrome. It's a delusional disorder in which one believes that their friends and loved ones have been replaced by imposters.
Derek Morgan: Sort of like Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It typically involves only one sense, such as sight. Basically, the neural connection between the visual cortex and the emotional center of the brain becomes severed, so that looking at a loved one doesn't elicit the same emotional response one would expect.
Aaron Hotchner: So, you think they're an imposter.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And the interesting thing is that the auditory connection remains intact, so that if they were to hear a loved one speak and not see them, they'd think that they were real.

David Rossi: All right. Luke, you don't want to be aiming that around. Snipers have the building covered.
Derek Morgan: You're in the crosshairs right now, I can guarantee that.
Luke Dolan: Windows are bulletproof. High-density Lexan, right?

[last lines]
Emily Prentiss: So you wanted some reassurance.
Derek Morgan: Yeah, something like that.
Emily Prentiss: Morgan, I cannot imagine what you went through.
Derek Morgan: It was seven months of hell.
Emily Prentiss: How can I make it up to you? I will do whatever it takes.
Derek Morgan: Just give me ten hours of training.
Emily Prentiss: Okay, you got it.
Derek Morgan: Shooting range on Sundays.
Emily Prentiss: I'm there.
Derek Morgan: And my morning coffee and a neck rub every day.
Emily Prentiss: Oh, buddy, you're really pushing it.


"Criminal Minds: Scared to Death (#3.3)" (2007)
[last lines]
Derek Morgan: I, um... can't sleep.
Aaron Hotchner: Want me to turn off the light?
Derek Morgan: No. I wouldn't be able to sleep.
Aaron Hotchner: What's the matter?
Derek Morgan: What's the matter with you, Hotch? You're sitting here doing work when you'd normally take a break. Please don't tell me it's about Gideon leaving.
Aaron Hotchner: You know, we made a deal a long time ago not to profile each other.
Derek Morgan: Am I wrong? You know, Hotch, today was a huge, huge victory for all of us. I mean, I never thought I'd say this, but... we're doing just fine without Gideon. Hotch. What's keeping you up tonight?
[pause]
Aaron Hotchner: Haley's left. And I don't know if she's coming back.

Dr. Spencer Reid: [Morgan pushes several buttons in stuck elevator] Don't! Stop it! Don't!
Derek Morgan: Why? What's problem?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Don't do that.
Derek Morgan: Why not?
Dr. Spencer Reid: 'Cause, there are six elevator related death per year with making ten thousands injuries required hospitalization. Chill out.

Dr. Spencer Reid: It hit me Morgan freaked out when he got stuck in the elevator.
Emily Prentiss: Got stuck in elevator?
Derek Morgan: I freaked?
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's not important. Here's what it is.

Derek Morgan: Baby girl, there's nothing to know. I hit a couple of buttons when I got stuck. That's it. What do you want?
Penelope Garcia: And?
Derek Morgan: Okay, I freaked out, a little bit.

Derek Morgan: What the hell is that?
Penelope Garcia: I've beyond googled this! To the untrained eye it looks totally legit, 'cause someone went to a great length to make the website decent, the articles are well written. But, as my brilliant and bespectacled eyes can see, they all lead to dead ends!


"Criminal Minds: 'Til Death Do Us Part (#11.3)" (2015)
David Rossi: I married the third ex-Mrs. Rossi at a drive-in wedding chapel in Las Vegas. I had an Elvis impersonator perform the ceremony.
Dr. Tara Lewis: [snickering] You're kidding.
Aaron Hotchner: Wait for it.
David Rossi: I'm playing 21. I've got a streak going, I can't lose even if I try. Krystall's the dealer; one thing leads to another... I should have known it wouldn't last. Krystall spelled her name with a "K" and two "L"s. We sobered up the next morning, the divorce was... was just as quick. I'll never make that mistake again.
Derek Morgan: What, getting married or having the King of rock and roll as your justice of the peace?
David Rossi: Both.
[in an Elvis impression]
David Rossi: Thank you very much.

David Rossi: So, Morgan, when are you and Savannah walking down the aisle?
Derek Morgan: Hey, whoa, whoa. Baby steps. Baby steps.
Dr. Spencer Reid: When Derek Morgan says "I do", it'll be a national day of mourning for single women everywhere.

Derek Morgan: [Picks up his mobile] Hey, what's up mama? Wild guess: we got a case?
Penelope Garcia: You're correct! Please pass GO and collect 200 kisses from moi and Hotch wants to see us
Derek Morgan: For what?
Penelope Garcia: He didn't say, but I'm having flashbacks to being in highschool, having to go to the principal's office

Derek Morgan: Wearing a bride-to-be sash must be like waving a red cape at a bull
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, bulls are colorblind, so it doesn't really matter what color cape a matador waves. It's the cape's movement that elicits an aggressive charge response...
[everyone gazes at Reid]
Dr. Spencer Reid: but Morgan's metaphor still applies here

Derek Morgan: Baby girl, are you there?
Penelope Garcia: Speak now or forever hold your peace


"Criminal Minds: Closing Time (#7.14)" (2012)
Emily Prentiss: He's castrating the victims postmortem, so torture isn't his game.
Derek Morgan: Shot to the head is efficient. I don't think he wants his victims to suffer.
Aaron Hotchner: And a quick kill is impersonal. It lacks the thrill on which a lot of unsubs thrive.

Derek Morgan: Look, JJ, all I'm saying is I am never making you angry again. I mean, who knew the Pennsylvania petite could give such an ass-whupping?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Well, I'm just glad my hand-to-hand coach could work his schedule around my state department duties.
Derek Morgan: It's my pleasure. I'm just really grateful it all paid off. You were great out there. I'm proud of you. Well, why don't you get your little butt home? I'm sure Will's waiting on you.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Yeah, well, we did have dinner reservations, but I'm thinking we'll do takeout instead. Thanks, Derek.
Derek Morgan: Yeah.

Aaron Hotchner: [knock, knock] Come in. Hey.
Derek Morgan: Hey. I thought I was the one supposed to be burning the midnight oil.
Aaron Hotchner: Well, with Strauss away, the director asked me to do a little extra. I'm actually looking forward to having her back.
Derek Morgan: Right. It's not the greatest way to spend Valentine's Day, now, is it? I forgot, too. Some of the singles were gonna go find a bar and grab a drink if you want to come along. I mean, unless there's someplace else you could be.
Aaron Hotchner: I think I'll pass, but thank you.
Derek Morgan: What about the paperwork?
Aaron Hotchner: Well, when Strauss comes back next week, I don't want her to be bored.
Derek Morgan: Good night, Hotch.
Aaron Hotchner: Good night, Morgan.

Derek Morgan: [At the end of their phone call] Thank you, crazy
Penelope Garcia: Any time. Fantasy Fatale bids you good day

Derek Morgan: Hey, baby girl. Tell me you got something good.
Penelope Garcia: Hey. The M.E. report came back, and... none of the victims were sexually assaulted, aside from that unfortunate appendage removal thing.


"Criminal Minds: Fear and Loathing (#2.16)" (2007)
Aaron Hotchner: The suspect we're looking for is a black male, statistically between the ages of 20 and 35. We know he's black because of his victims. Sexually motivated killers almost always kill within their own race.
Derek Morgan: The victims he's chosen are good girls. They're good students. No behavioral problems. They're what we call "low-risk".
Emily Prentiss: And the lower the risk of the victim, the higher the intelligence of the unsub.
Jason Gideon: Guy's a smooth talker. Makes people feel at ease. Gains their confidence. You'd be amazed what these guys can talk people into.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Jeffrey Dahmer was once pulled over by police officers for driving over the center line. He'd a garbage bag full of body parts in the back seat of his car, but he was so calm and so self-assured that he convinced the officers not to look in the bag. He then went on to kill at least fifteen more people.
Aaron Hotchner: This guy's a hustler. He may not have a lot of education, but he knows how to trick impressionable young girls. Victor Paleologus used to trawl shopping malls pretending to be a movie producer. He told Kristi Johnson he could get her an audition for a James Bond movie. And that was the last time she was ever seen alive. We think because all these girls are singers, that the unsub may be connected in some way to the recording industry.
Derek Morgan: We know the unsub has a vehicle. Big enough to transport a body. It's clean. It's not too old. Nice enough to make a girl feel comfortable inside, but it's not flashy. This is not a guy who wants to attract attention to himself.
Aaron Hotchner: Probably a large, dark sedan.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: We recommend putting this profile on the news, the paper, anywhere it might be seen by the people in this county.
Derek Morgan: This guy's ruse didn't work on everybody. Somewhere out there is at least one woman who didn't fall for his game, and... that's who we need to find.
Aaron Hotchner: The key to this unsub's psychology is the souvenir he takes. We don't know what it is yet, but we know that once he has it, his victim then becomes disposable, and that's when he kills her.
Jason Gideon: The unsub's ritual was interrupted when he killed Sandra Davis. We don't believe he was able to take a souvenir from her. We think he may revisit her house or any place she may have frequented.
Aaron Hotchner: We recommend surveillance in locations where the unsub might approach young girls. Churches, high schools, libraries, coffee shops.
Jason Gideon: Stick with the community. The people of this county should be able to offer some good leads.

Det. Ware: Don't you ever wish it didn't matter?
Derek Morgan: "It"?
Det. Ware: Color.
Derek Morgan: Judge me by the content of my character.
Det. Ware: I mean, why does it even have to be part of the equation? People are dying. We need to get the bad guy. That should be it. No half-cocked reverends running around, getting people mad about the wrong thing. No mayors so afraid of offending black folks, he doesn't even wanna tell the community what to look out for.
[sighs]
Det. Ware: It's exhausting sometimes.
Derek Morgan: It's the way it's always been, man. Politicians, community leaders, they do what they do. You and me, we do what we do. We're the foot soldiers in these streets getting the job done.

Penelope Garcia: I was beginning to think you guys has forgotten all about me!
Derek Morgan: We need you now more than ever, Hot Stuff!
Penelope Garcia: Candy to my ear, Sugar! Go!

Emily Prentiss: You're alright?
Derek Morgan: [Nods yes] I was just thinking. I know what it's like to grow up without a father
Emily Prentiss: Their father died a hero
Derek Morgan: So did mine. Doesn't make it any easier

Derek Morgan: Good morning, Emily. Had a good weekend?
Emily Prentiss: Yeah! No. Yes
Derek Morgan: [giggles] Oh, I've been there
Emily Prentiss: No, it wasn't... I don't want to get into it
Derek Morgan: No problem
Emily Prentiss: It... it just feels weird for me to talk about my personal life her, you know? I don't really know all you guys that well yet
Derek Morgan: I totally get that
[walks away]
Emily Prentiss: [loud] I think, I totally screwed up this date
Derek Morgan: [returns] Okay, what happened?
Emily Prentiss: You've to understand: I am a nerd, like seriously. And I can fool people, days, weeks even but sooner or later I blow my cover and I say something so geeky and then he doesn't respond and I lose all confidence
Derek Morgan: What did you say?
Emily Prentiss: "Kilgore Trout"
Derek Morgan: Guy has a problem with Kurt Vonnegut?
Emily Prentiss: You know Kilgore Trout?
Derek Morgan: I read "Slaughterhouse Five" when I was twelve! It blew my mind. Seriously, I could not get enough, so I just kept going and read them all
Emily Prentiss: Yeah, yeah, me too! What's your favorite?
Derek Morgan: Oh, "Modern Knight"
Emily Prentiss: The one about the American spy
Derek Morgan: Who pretends to be a Nazi
Emily Prentiss: "You are who you pretend to be"
Derek Morgan: "So be careful who you pretend to be"
Emily Prentiss: Oh my God! I can't believe you're a Vonnegut fan. You just made my day!
Derek Morgan: Anytime


"Criminal Minds: The Eyes Have It (#5.6)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: [opening quotation, voiceover] "And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out and cast it from thee." - Matthew 5:29.

Derek Morgan: [closing quotation, voiceover] "Dwell in peace in the home of your own being, and the messenger of death will not be able to touch you." - Guru Nanak.

Derek Morgan: Alright, let's meet on the plane in 30

Aaron Hotchner: [Arrives at the crime scene] What happened here?
Lt. Brantley: Took him down by himself
Derek Morgan: [Walks further] Hotch! Brantley says you took him down solo!
Aaron Hotchner: He wasn't far behind me
Derek Morgan: You know you should have waited for backup
Aaron Hotchner: Would you have?

Derek Morgan: Woman, you have lost your mind! But you are the best
Penelope Garcia: I completely agree


"Criminal Minds: The Boys of Sudworth Place (#10.8)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: [closing quotation, voiceover] "Our moral responsibility is not to stop the future, but to shape it, to channel our destiny in humane directions and to ease the trauma of transition" - Alvin Toffler.

Penelope Garcia: I am made of cream! Give me your coffee!
Derek Morgan: Hey Baby Girl, listen you're on speaker!

Kate Callahan: I don't get it! Why get married if you're just going cheat?
Derek Morgan: Well, some people think the grass is greener on the other side
Kate Callahan: Yeah, what about you?
Derek Morgan: My grass is plenty green!

Derek Morgan: You know what happened to me, don't you?
Kate Callahan: [nods her head]
Derek Morgan: Who told you?
Kate Callahan: You did! How you handled this case, body language, all of it. Look, you can tell me as little or as much as you want to. Or whatever happened. I am sorry


"Criminal Minds: True Night (#3.10)" (2007)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [arriving at the crime scene] Should have listened to me.
Derek Morgan: It wouldn't have saved that much time, Reid. Let it go.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The interchange between the 405 and the 101 freeways is consistently rated the worst interchange in the entire world.
Derek Morgan: Why do you know that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's a government report.
Derek Morgan: So what?
Dr. Spencer Reid: So, you work for the government. What, you don't read the reports?
Derek Morgan: On traffic patterns in a city twenty-five hundred miles from where I live?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Twenty-two hundred and ninety-five miles.
Derek Morgan: Don't make me smack you in front of all these people.

Penelope Garcia: Hey, do you know who Frank Miller is?
Derek Morgan: Frank Miller. Um... it sounds familiar. Unsub?
Penelope Garcia: [laughing] No. Graphic novelist. 300? Sin City?
Derek Morgan: Oh. Right, right, right. Cool movies.
Penelope Garcia: Anyway... he said something once and it makes me think of you. "The noir hero is a knight in blood-caked armor. He's dirty, and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time."

Dr. Spencer Reid: Same victimology?
Detective Brady: We don't have a positive id on either one of them yet, but the clothing fits. You really think this is only one guy, huh?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The level of overkill suggests an unsub in a psychotic break. Multiple unsubs in violent psychotic breaks operating in the exact same location is exceedingly unlikely
Derek Morgan: Yeah, it's probably one guy

Derek Morgan: [On the phone] Just leave it alone until I get there! Hey, hey, hardhead! Don't make me spank you when I get back
Dr. Spencer Reid: Don't listen to him, Garcia, he's all talk...
[Derek hits him on the head]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Aah! JJ! He just hit me!
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You boys behave or I will ground you both


"Criminal Minds: God Complex (#8.4)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: Reid, you getting a migraine?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No. No, I haven't had one of those for months, ever since I...

Dr. Spencer Reid: This unsub stitched the skin flap so tightly over Tony's stump that it didn't allow for proper blood flow and lead to gangrene. He's not a surgeon!
Derek Morgan: Then, what is he?
Dr. Spencer Reid: A butcher!

Dr. Spencer Reid: This doesn't make any sense, Morgan
Derek Morgan: Well, does it ever, Reid?

Dr. Spencer Reid: [discussing one of the unsub's victims] The camera pick up anything?
Derek Morgan: He dropped him off a block away. This poor guy limped into the hospital on a leg that wasn't his.


"Criminal Minds: Painless (#7.4)" (2011)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [the music on Morgan's iPod suddenly stops, and is replaced by Reid's voice] We interrupt your regularly scheduled musical selection with an important announcement: never wage a practical joke war against an MIT graduate, because we have a history of going nuclear. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the dulcet sounds of me screaming in your ear. AAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Derek Morgan: [Morgan takes off his headphones] Okay, kid, that was cute. But that's all you got?
[Reid snores, feigning sleep]
Derek Morgan: [his phone rings] Hey, baby gi...
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Reid's recording cuts in] AHHHHHHH!
[still feigning sleep, Reid smirks; to diffuse the situation, Rossi waves a white flag of surrender]
Derek Morgan: Uh-uh. All right, Reid, it's on. Just know that paybacks are a bitch.

Dr. Spencer Reid: [muttering] I will crush you.
Derek Morgan: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: [innocently] What?

Derek Morgan: Then why come back? What does a loser like you have to gain by seeing all the kids by seeing all the kids that he hated so much ?
Lewis Ramsey: [showing a medal] I came this close to flushing two years of sobriety down the toilet tonight. Not just because Chelsea died, but because I knew that they were gonna cancel that ceremony. See, tomorrow night I was gonna tell people what I did. And I knew that I would be arrested as an accomplice. I knew it, but I had to. This is my final amends.

Emily Prentiss: What else do we have to go on?
Jennifer Jareau: Spence said the UnSub would have broken his hand beating Chelsea to death. Did you notice anyone with a cast on their hand, someone who seemed hurt?
Emily Prentiss: No.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I might know why. This UnSub doesn't feel pain. There's a medical condition called pain asymbolia, where patients register harmful stimuli without being bothered by it. They've been documented holding their hand over an open flame because their brain doesn't send pain signals to the central nervous system.
David Rossi: Sounds pretty rare. You sure the UnSub has it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The crime scenes prove it. This UnSub displayed an unusual level of savagery towards his victims. And consider this, he smashed through a glass display case, but there were not cuts on Jerry. That means he most likely punched through it as a show of force. Now, the only way the human body could withstand that level of pain is if he couldn't feel it at all.
David Rossi: It must take a major toll on someone's emotional development.
Derek Morgan: A significant contributor to our sense of empathy is the way we personally experience pain.
Aaron Hotchner: And the UnSub didn't develop his sense of empathy because it was cut off. Does every person with asymbolia have this?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, most feel empathy just fine, which makes me think the rest of our profile is still accurate. Loner, invisible, outcast, boiling rage...


"Criminal Minds: The Inspiration (#9.1)" (2013)
Derek Morgan: All right, Rossi, talk to me. What's up?
David Rossi: Only the sun. I like the sun.
Derek Morgan: Cute. That's real cute. Look, when I was the gym, conversation around the free weights is Hotch is interviewing to be Strauss's permanent replacement.
David Rossi: I know nothing.
Derek Morgan: Come on, man, you sure about that? Why do I get the feeling you're being a profiler?
David Rossi: If you have any questions about Hotch, maybe you should ask Hotch.
Derek Morgan: Ok, look, I get it. Doing double duty after the sequester, fine, but taking on a desk job full-time? You know what they say about desk jobs.
David Rossi: That's how you get the ladies?
Derek Morgan: No. Sitting is the new smoking. That'll kill Hotch, and you know that.

Dr. Spencer Reid: The consistency of the disposal sites and methodologies tell us that he has no known or identifiable connection between any of the victims, and in fact wants them to be found, in order to convey his pose prayer message.
Derek Morgan: Well, the parks will give us behavioral clues to help us fill out our profile.
Aaron Hotchner: All right, we should split up when we hit the ground. He's probably already chosen his next victim.

Aaron Hotchner: Garcia, Heather Clarke is the victim that our unsub's been feeding to the others.
Penelope Garcia: Yikes.
Aaron Hotchner: See if she had any enemies.
Penelope Garcia: [typing] No. I mean, she was her company's top regional manager, she... she looks loved.
David Rossi: Well, the unsub's rage has probably been brewing for a long time.
Alex Blake: And he most likely expressed his disdain for her long before he killed her.
Derek Morgan: Baby girl, check middle and high school records.
Penelope Garcia: [typing again] No, zero. Zero, there's nothing there.
David Rossi: There's gotta be something. See if her parents ever filed a restraining order.
Penelope Garcia: [finding a result] Oh, creepy bingo.

Penelope Garcia: Two women, Sarah Beck and Jill Elks, were found in a park in Glendale, Arizona within the last three days. Both of them were single in their late twenties, and following their normal low-risk routines when they were abducted.
Alex Blake: Where we they taken from?
Penelope Garcia: Sarah was on her way to her theater group rehearsal, and Jill was abducted form her apartment. The unsub broke in through a window.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Well, clearly he's hunting a specific type.
Derek Morgan: He left the jewelry untouched.
Aaron Hotchner: Yeah, it's not about robbery.
Penelope Garcia: Both women were sexually assaulted and then they were shot in the heart and left in that... prayer position.
Jennifer Jareau: It's odd.
David Rossi: Maybe it's religious. Looks like they're leaning on a cross.
Derek Morgan: Their hands are titled forward.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He could have made them supplicate and their hands clenched in rigor mortis.
Jennifer Jareau: So they're possibly trying to atone for their sins.
Alex Blake: I doubt that. Both women have pretty clean backgrounds.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Since the posing was done postmortem, maybe it's representation of the way in which he made them beg for their lives.
David Rossi: We've definitely seen that before.
Aaron Hotchner: Hmm. He's getting off on the power. Let's head to Arizona. Wheels up in thirty.


"Criminal Minds: In Heat (#3.17)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: [looking at J.J. and Will kissing in the hallway with Prentiss and Reid] Well, finally.
Emily Prentiss: Mm. I thought she was never going to admit it.
[walks away]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, what's it been like, a year?
[follows Prentiss]
Derek Morgan: Yeah, something like that.
[walks away, opposite of Reid and Prentiss]

Detective Tina Lopez: This Garcia girl of yours is good.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's an understatement.
Detective Tina Lopez: Hey, you can't go wrong with a Latina at the controls.
Derek Morgan: Yeah, that's my girl. But, uh, she's not nearly as Latino as the name sounds.

Dr. Spencer Reid: [Gets out of the car] Ah! Is it always as hot?
Derek Morgan: [Looking at girls walking by] Every day holiday!
David Rossi: That's South Beach!
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, that's not what I am talking about
Aaron Hotchner: They know

Emily Prentiss: He could be suffering from cluster B
Detective Tina Lopez: Cluster B?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Ah, cluster of personality disorders. It's also called a erratic, dramatic emotional cluster. An enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that differentiates itself markedly from the expectations the individual's cultures. It manifests...
Derek Morgan: [Interrupts Reid] This guy is a sick dude!
[Reid nods yes]


"Criminal Minds: Run (#7.24)" (2012)
Emily Prentiss: No, it's more personal than that. It's their story.
Derek Morgan: What?
Emily Prentiss: All of the details are a part of their story. Their timeline suggests they were both destructive before they met.
Erin Strauss: So, we're talking about ex-military turning on their country.
Emily Prentiss: It's rare, but soldiers become disenfranchised no matter what the nationality. And if he met someone like-minded at that time, there'd be no stopping them.
Aaron Hotchner: So, you're thinking they met during the civil unrest in Chad in '08.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, and one or both of them are pilots.
Emily Prentiss: So, if Garcia concentrates on that region, specifically weapons running in and out of Libya, there's a good chance we'll find their paths crossed.
Penelope Garcia: Okay, multiple entries into Libya from a private pilot named Matthew Downs in '08, but I don't have her name.
Emily Prentiss: Well, because she had aliases. It's the only way to stay a ghost. Here's the thing. They are a couple. Regardless of what we believe of them, they will celebrate themselves and their connection. Is there anything that happened on this date in Chad?
Penelope Garcia: Oh, you are good, Emily Prentiss. But this news is not. Yes, there were multiple explosions on this date in '08.
Aaron Hotchner: Where were the most casualties?
Penelope Garcia: At a church. No, no, a train.
Derek Morgan: Semtex and C-4?
Penelope Garcia: Yep.
Aaron Hotchner: Are trains still arriving at Union Station?
Erin Strauss: Yes, but only the authorities are allowed in.
Emily Prentiss: That's why they needed Will.

Erin Strauss: Agent Morgan, a word? I... I haven't had a chance to speak with you. I sort of hit the ground running. It took a lot of courage to confront me about my drinking. You changed my life. Thank you.
Derek Morgan: Honestly, ma'am, that's not necessary.
Erin Strauss: A simple "you're welcome" would suffice.
Derek Morgan: I'm just glad you're back.
Erin Strauss: No, you're not.

Penelope Garcia: What?
Emily Prentiss: I... I'll tell you later.
Penelope Garcia: I do not like the sound of "I'll tell you later."
Emily Prentiss: It's JJ's night, and I don't want to...
Penelope Garcia: All right. If you are telling me that there is something bad happening right now to balance out the goodness that is tonight, I will have none of it, because I don't believe in that. Although it's totally one of the truths of life, isn't it? The bitter and the sweet mixed up together in a cosmic soup that we've all signed up for.
Derek Morgan: Penelope. Penelope. Breathe. Breathe.
Penelope Garcia: I think Kevin's here tonight. It would make sense that he would come tonight. Don't you? He's here. He's here and he's with her, so I'm gonna go somewhere which is not... Go somewhere that is not that is not here.

David Rossi: They say that good things happen to good people. Today is one of those days, and these are two of those people. We love you.
David Rossi, Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau, Detective William LaMontagne Jr., Emily Prentiss, Dr. Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, Sandy Jareau, Beth Clemmons, Penelope Garcia: Cheers!


"Criminal Minds: Damaged (#3.14)" (2008)
David Rossi: Morgan, obsessional crimes are your specialty.
Derek Morgan: Well, there's two kinds of obsessional offenders that would send gifts to survivors. Sadists, who want to make the families keep reliving the crime, or guilt-laden offenders, desperately trying to find some type of way to apologize.
David Rossi: Sadists usually use something they know will remind the family of the person or the crime. Jewelry, newspaper clippings.
Emily Prentiss: These don't look like the kind of things you would send to inflict pain on someone.
David Rossi: So, guilt-laden.
Emily Prentiss: You know, they actually look like the kind of thing a child would send.
Derek Morgan: Okay. Well, it's rare, but an unsub who feels this much guilt sometimes commits the crime unintentionally. They tend to be developmentally disabled, extremely low IQ offender, and generally, well, they're physically large and they're very strong. Strong enough to hurt somebody accidentally.
Emily Prentiss: Like Lennie in "Of Mice and Men".

David Rossi: I was here on a serial rapist in '88. It was pretty short work. The guy wasn't gonna win any IQ contests. The day after we, uh, collared him, a local detective was driving me to the airport, and, um, he hears a call on his walkie of kids screaming in a house not far from where we were. He asks if I mind taking the job in with him. We were first on the scene. Inside we found...
Derek Morgan: [placing the case file on the table] Found this.
David Rossi: The ax had been left behind, but it had been wiped clean. It turns out it belonged to the family. The, uh, oldest daughter, Connie, told me her father bought it on Christmas Eve a few months earlier, to cut down the Christmas tree. Now I, uh, always associate the whole thing with Christmas. Never been able to put a tree up myself again.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So he... he never hurt the kids at all?
David Rossi: Not physically.
Derek Morgan: But he would have known that the kids were in the house.
David Rossi: He only hurt the parents and then left.
Emily Prentiss: Okay, so using a weapon he found at the scene and not eliminating all of the potential witnesses, that makes him disorganized.
Derek Morgan: But he left no evidence, which suggests he's organized.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: There was a fingerprint.
David Rossi: But it was behind the bedroom door. I don't even think he knew it was there. There should have been prints in other places, but they were wiped clean. An open back door, a... a drinking glass left in the kitchen. And that one good print... was not a match anywhere. I've been over this a million times. I... I keep thinking if there was just one more piece, one more thing to go on. The answer was right in front of me.
Emily Prentiss: He might be dead.
David Rossi: I have to be sure.
Derek Morgan: Rossi, if he's dead, you may never really know.
David Rossi: When we arrived on the scene... before any of the other units got there, I could hear them... before I even got out of the car. It was a warm morning and the, um, the windows were open in the upstairs bedroom. And their voices... floated out into the street. They were crying and calling for their mommy and daddy. Three terrified children screaming for their murdered parents. I've seen so much death and pain, but that sound... it's been twenty years and I can still hear them screaming every night... crying. If I can't tell them for sure that whoever's responsible will never do it again... that screaming might never stop.

Derek Morgan: I can't believe people actually pay good money to play these fixed games
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Men
Derek Morgan: Excuse me?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: It's not people, it's men
Derek Morgan: Is that a fact?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Only a man would waste $50 trying to win back that $3 stuffed animal

Kevin Lynch: Agent Rossi? We need to talk, about Penelope, man to man
David Rossi: Man to man
[both walk away]
Derek Morgan: What about Penelope?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't know
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [singing] She and Kevin sitting in a tree...
[turns around and walks away]
Derek Morgan: Get out of here! Are you serious?
[joins JJ]
Emily Prentiss: Just when I thought nothing scandalous was every gonna happen around here
Dr. Spencer Reid: What? What does that mean?
Emily Prentiss: Didn't you hear JJ?
Dr. Spencer Reid: That song meant something? No! No I missed it
Emily Prentiss: It... it... You know what, never mind
Dr. Spencer Reid: [looks around bewildered] What?


"Criminal Minds: 25 to Life (#6.11)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] "There is no such thing as 'part' freedom." ~~ Nelson Mandela

Derek Morgan: [voiceover] "All truths are easy to understand, once you discover them; the point is to discover them." ~~ Galileo

Erin Strauss: My office will handle the press from here on.
Derek Morgan: That's unnecessary.
Erin Strauss: You don't need any more distractions. He looks genuinely distraught. He's very convincing. I can see why you fell for it. I don't need to remind you that your reputation's on the line here.
Derek Morgan: That's not what matters to me right now.
Erin Strauss: It should.

Erin Strauss: You want to arrest James Stanworth? Are you out of your mind?
Derek Morgan: He's got motive. Mary Rutka had a tape. She was blackmailing him.
Erin Strauss: It was a hooded figure. You can't prove it was him on that videotape.
David Rossi: He fits the profile, Erin.
Erin Strauss: Forgive me, but your profile sounds like a self-made man, not the psychopath you claim he is.
Derek Morgan: We said he'd be destructive. In 1998 alone, he fired 6,000 people from one of his companies. Some of those employees took their own lives. That is the type of power and devastation that he enjoys.
Erin Strauss: Hearsay. Slander if you're not careful.
Derek Morgan: Ma'am, he got into politics to be hard on crime. He would have access to keep tabs on Don Sanderson.
Erin Strauss: And now you're sounding as paranoid as Don Sanderson. You cannot accuse a man without a shred of physical evidence.
Derek Morgan: Mary Rutka had skin under her nails. Maybe she left a mark.
Erin Strauss: And you cannot arrest a man based on the possibility of a scratch.
David Rossi: We can't arrest this man. That's what you mean. Don't pull any punches now, Erin.
Erin Strauss: You don't understand what the politics are, do you, Dave? You never have.
David Rossi: No, I do. I just don't care.
Derek Morgan: Ma'am, all due respect, but we have an innocent man in our custody, and the killer is still out there. It just might be James Stanworth.
Erin Strauss: You don't have enough proof. The BAU functions without you. Don't push it.


"Criminal Minds: A Real Rain (#1.17)" (2006)
Derek Morgan: You've never been to New York?
Dr. Spencer Reid: We've never had an unsub there.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: [to Gideon] I thought you were going to talk to Reid about taking some vacation time.
Jason Gideon: What's vacation time?

Derek Morgan: With no discernible victim patterns, the killer's practically impossible to stop.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Did you know the original Zodiac Killer actually continually changed his victims. Young, old, men, women, white black.
Jason Gideon: Exactly. And he killed for thirty years without ever being caught.

Derek Morgan: [Reid is fumbling his food while trying to eat with a pair of chopsticks] You don't know how to use 'em, do you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's like trying to forage for dinner with a pair of number two pencils.

Derek Morgan: [searching for a clue to indicate the unsub's next target] You know, this is a lot of boxes. How are we supposed to narrow it down?
Jason Gideon: Check and see if it ended in acquittal. If it didn't, toss it aside.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: It has to be a capital case. He's escalating. The more brutal, the better.
Elle Greenaway: Why not go by most recent?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Judging by his elaborate filing system, Doyle obviously has obsessive-compulsive disorder. People with OCD often finish tasks, and then go back to the beginning and start over.
Derek Morgan: So he continually goes through the transcripts and the first one to trigger him becomes his next victim.
Elle Greenaway: Here's one. This is a liquor store owner who was shot with his own gun.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Flip to when they present the defense. Did the defendant testify?
Elle Greenaway: No.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Stick with the ones where the accused took the stand. This is personal. He hears their voices.
Jason Gideon: Doyle's victims all claimed to be a type of victim themselves. The first two threw themselves on the mercy of the court, pleading alcohol and drug dependency. The priest said he was a victim, victim of recent hysteria.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Look for key phrases: victim, mercy, anything that signifies they thought their crime wasn't their fault.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I think I might have one, guys: Ted Elmore. He shot and killed both his parents after claiming self-defense for years of physical abuse.
Jason Gideon: Doyle lost his own parents. Hearing someone get away with killing their own, that would haunt him.


"Criminal Minds: Hashtag (#10.7)" (2014)
Savannah Hayes: Run a tox screen, I'm guessing her severe pain is another case of oxy withdrawal.
Nurse Velma Bradford: I'm on it.
Derek Morgan: [Walks in] You have a patient that suffers severe withdraws right here, doc.
Nurse Velma Bradford: Does he need an exam?
[Savanna frowns at her]
Nurse Velma Bradford: I'm running to the lab.

Derek Morgan: [On the phone to Savanna] ... make it tonight... I know... Okay... Hey, I love you
[hangs up; turns chair towards Garcia]
Derek Morgan: What?
Penelope Garcia: You owe that woman something spectacular when this is all over
Derek Morgan: Ah Penelope, look that was the plan! I swear. Work, it always seem to get in the way
Penelope Garcia: Uh, I don't buy it. I know you
Derek Morgan: There's got to be some kind of balance
Penelope Garcia: You both save lives for a living! If anybody understands our crazy hours it's her!
Derek Morgan: Okay Oprah, what do I do?
Penelope Garcia: Stop making big plans. Commit to something you can actually make happen! It is the littlest gestures that go the longest ways. Trust me. When I am grumpy Sam does this Dalek impersonation, he stretches his arms out like a Cyberman, which makes no sense, but it delights me. My point is, do something to delight her. Okay, I'm done.

Derek Morgan: [opening quote] "Naivety in grownups is often charming, but coupled with vanity it is indistinguishable from stupidity" - Eric Hoffer

Derek Morgan: [closing quote] "There is a fellowship more quiet even than solitude and which rightly understood is solitude made perfect" - Robert Louis Stevenson


"Criminal Minds: The Silencer (#8.1)" (2012)
Penelope Garcia: Now that superwoman is on the case you don't need me.
Derek Morgan: You know what, I'm gonna chalk that up to a little jealousy.

Alex Blake: I don't feel comfortable speculating in front of them.
Derek Morgan: What about the rest of us?
Alex Blake: Dr. Reid and I are coming up theories. You're welcome to join us.

Penelope Garcia: Okay, you never gave your vote on who should get what.
Derek Morgan: Give Reid the mug.
Penelope Garcia: Really? That means that JJ gets the double-decker bus?
Derek Morgan: I thought that was for Kevin.
Penelope Garcia: No, we're not talking right now.
Derek Morgan: Garcia, you guys were just talking yest... Never mind.

Derek Morgan: You and Strauss got a little history?
Alex Blake: Ah. In another life.
Derek Morgan: There's a story in there.


"Criminal Minds: To Hell... And Back (#4.25)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: You got here fast.
Det. Benning: [shrugs] Detroit's not that far.
Derek Morgan: Did you bring the case files?
Det. Benning: I got 35 open missings.
Derek Morgan: That's all?
Det. Benning: That's not enough?
Derek Morgan: [indicating the shoes found next to the pig pen] 89 pairs.
Det. Benning: 89?
Derek Morgan: So far.
Det. Benning: Oh, God!
Derek Morgan: I don't think God's been out here in a long time.

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: The rest of us will meet with the legal attaché before we hit the royal Canadian mounted police
Jennifer Jareau: Actually, sir, the officer in charge said that his team was part of a fellowship the BAU gave to train the police forces in profiling
David Rossi: Ah, that was the first one we ever did. Jeff Bedwell
Jennifer Jareau: You know him?
David Rossi: Yeah
Derek Morgan: Is he any good?
David Rossi: He better be! I trained him

Emily Prentiss: Did you hear that?
Derek Morgan: What?
Emily Prentiss: Was that a scream? I... I don't even know what direction it came from
Derek Morgan: That's another reason I hate these damn woods! It messes with the sound

Derek Morgan: You've been with this team, what, 2 years, right?
Emily Prentiss: Almost three already.
Derek Morgan: It's seven for me. I mean, that's all I can think of all day. 'Cause the entire time I've been with the BAU, working almost non-stop, having no real life, these brothers have been out there killing 89 people and we didn't even know about it.
Emily Prentiss: Well, we know now and we'll make them pay.
Derek Morgan: But how many others are still out there, Prentiss? Hmm, hunting and killing? I mean, the thing is, no matter what we do, no matter how hard we work, no matter how good we are at what we do, this is never gonna end.


"Criminal Minds: Exit Wounds (#5.21)" (2010)
Emily Prentiss: [sees Rossi walking into the conference room wearing a suit] Wow!
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Sorry to ruin your night.
Derek Morgan: [smugly] What are you working on wife number four?
David Rossi: I see you people *way* too much.

Penelope Garcia: [after witnessing the unsub commit a murder] He was still alive.
Derek Morgan: Baby, there's nothing else you could have done.
Penelope Garcia: I felt him leave. He was there one second, and then... just a body.
Derek Morgan: I'm really sorry that you had to see all of that.
Penelope Garcia: Derek, I didn't see... I was in it. I was sort of used to seeing horrible things from the safety of my screens every day, but this was... right there.
Derek Morgan: Why didn't you go and find someone before you ran out there?
Penelope Garcia: Because when I got shot, I remember thinking "The last thing I'm ever gonna see in this life is the man who killed me", and I couldn't let that happen to him. He had to see something good before he died.

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: It looks like we'll have to double up.
Derek Morgan: I'm not sleeping with Reid.
Penelope Garcia: [taking Morgan's hand] Dibs.
Kevin Lynch: [via phone to Garcia] What do you mean you're sharing a room with Morgan?

Derek Morgan: It sucks, doesn't it?
Penelope Garcia: What?
Derek Morgan: Just knowing that we couldn't have done any of this without you.
Penelope Garcia: [scoffing laugh] Yeah, pretty much.
Derek Morgan: I'm proud of you, Penelope. Despite everything that happened, you came back... and you got the job done.
Penelope Garcia: The sight of blood used to make me run away. And two nights ago I ran towards it.
Derek Morgan: It means you're changing into someone stronger than you realize. You cared enough to risk your own life to try and save someone else.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, but... what's the difference between being strong and being jaded? I'm scared, Derek. I don't want to lose who I am just so I can do this job.
Derek Morgan: We are in one of the most beautiful places on Earth. I know you see that, don't you?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah.
Derek Morgan: Then we have nothing to worry about. It's who you are, baby girl. You see the beauty in everything and everyone no matter where you go. That part of you is never gonna change, and I won't let it.
Penelope Garcia: I don't need you to protect me.
Derek Morgan: Tough. I think I'm gonna stay on the job a little while longer.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah?
Derek Morgan: Mm-hmm.
Penelope Garcia: How much longer?
Derek Morgan: Every day of my life.
Penelope Garcia: I kind of love you, Derek Morgan.
Derek Morgan: I kinda love you, Penelope Garcia.


"Criminal Minds: Conflicted (#4.20)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: Talk to me. What is this?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Tobias Hankel.
Derek Morgan: Tobias Hankel drugged and tortured you for two days. He almost killed you.
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, the altered persona of his father did those things to me. The real Tobias Hankel saved my life. He brought me back from the dead.
Derek Morgan: So you think because of Tobias, somehow you owe Adam?

Derek Morgan: [Reid is fretting about Adam's situation] Kid. You're gonna have to accept the fact that sometimes we can't save everyone.

Derek Morgan: Where are we?
David Rossi: Honestly? Nowhere. We just watched our two most viable suspects walk out the door.
Emily Prentiss: If Adam isn't our unsub, he has all the makings to become one someday.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Reid?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Tell me the question that he spiked under in the polygraph.
Derek Morgan: It was a control question to set the baseline.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It was a geometric equation?
Derek Morgan: Reid, I really think he was just intimidated. He tried, he got it wrong, but he wasn't supposed to know the answer anyway.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What if he lied? What if... what if he knew the answer to the question but intentionally got it wrong?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Why would he do that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Because he realized that he wouldn't know that answer.
Derek Morgan: You're losing me, kid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Adam said he wasn't getting any rest. He takes midday naps because he's always exhausted. He has a history of blackouts, reclusive behavior, prolonged repeated abuse suffered at the hands of a dominant male who transferred abuse from his female spouse to his prepubescent child.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Where are you going with this?
Dr. Spencer Reid: What if our ubsub couple isn't a couple at all?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Dissociative identity disorder.
David Rossi: You think Adam's a multiple personality?
Emily Prentiss: Well, it fits. Recurrent physical abuse, knowledge he shouldn't have. We've seen this before.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Look at this. All right? The-the first intervention is timid. It's apprehensive, right? But then he gets knocked down... there's a moment of calm, and then his entire body language changes. I saw this exact same transformation when Adam left the station, only it wasn't rage, it was, uh... arrogance. Like... like the alter ego wanted me to know.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Why?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't know. Power, control. All I know is the person that stared me down over there was not Adam. He's not assertive like that. He doesn't make eye contact.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So you think the stress of the interrogation blurred the line between Adam and his alter personality?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I think the unsub surfaced for just a moment. It-it-it knew the answer to the question, realized Adam wouldn't, and lied.

Derek Morgan: How many cameras do you have on the property?
Julie Riley: Not enough


"Criminal Minds: Sex, Birth, Death (#2.11)" (2006)
Special Agent Derek Morgan: How did she know to call Reid?
Penelope Garcia: Nathan set Reid's business card on the table before he cut himself. Like a suicide note.

Special Agent Derek Morgan: Reid, you know this is not your responsibility?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It is. I can't explain.
Special Agent Derek Morgan: Well try me.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He knows I understand him.
Special Agent Derek Morgan: Of course you do. You're a profiler.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's more than that.
Special Agent Derek Morgan: How?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind.

Jason Gideon: In the last 6 months, your husband start asking you to play out sexual fantasies?
Ronald's wife: Excuse me?
Jason Gideon: Possibly even braided you if you played along?
Ronald's wife: I don't think that's appropriate.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: When it finally stopped about a month ago you were relieved.
Special Agent Derek Morgan: Ma'am, you're afraid to ask why we're here. Now, in your heart you know we're not here because Ronald's helping us with this investigation.
Ronald's wife: Good night.
Jason Gideon: You've been glad to have him leave the house at odd hours because he's been angry and frustrated. When he comes home he feels like the man you married again.

Dr. Spencer Reid: What's up with Hotch today?
Special Agent Derek Morgan: [chuckles] I don't know. Maybe he tied that knot in his tie a little too tight again.


"Criminal Minds: The Fox (#1.7)" (2005)
Derek Morgan: Suspect's cell is going straight to voicemail.
Dr. Rachel Howard: Karl's a good man.
Derek Morgan: That's what everybody says until they find a body in the basement.

Derek Morgan: You move, I'm gonna break your neck.

Jason Gideon: Karl Arnold, he has a boy and a girl, just like the Millers and the Crawfords.
Aaron Hotchner: Target family will be the same.
Dr. Rachel Howard: How could I not have seen it?
Derek Morgan: Well, because he's that good. If he wasn't, we would have caught him sooner.

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: [Looking at baby Jack] It's so gorgeous
Haley Hotchner: Thank you
Dr. Spencer Reid: If you find baldness and wrinkles attractive
Penelope Garcia: Look at his little, witty, bitty nose!
[to Derek who walks in]
Penelope Garcia: Don't you want one of these?
Derek Morgan: Hm, I'll stick to practicing


"Criminal Minds: Divining Rod (#7.21)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: What do we got, baby girl?
Penelope Garcia: Thank you, sir. We have a killing in Enid, Oklahoma. And not... the capital punishment one you are thinking of right now. I'm talking about a woman named Cara Smith, who was murdered in her apartment minutes after the execution of Rodney Garrett.
Aaron Hotchner: A neighbor saw her front door open and discovered the body.
David Rossi: Look familiar?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Young, pretty, short blonde hair.
David Rossi: And stabbed directly through the heart.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's exactly the way Garrett killed his victims.
Derek Morgan: So are we looking at a copycat?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Or someone creating doubt the right person was executed.
David Rossi: In Garrett's case, there was no doubt. His guilt was the slam dunk of all slam dunks. Prints, DNA, a confession.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He even led police to where he buried two of his victims.
Emily Prentiss: Garrett killed twenty-five women before he was caught. If this new unsub is a copycat, body count's just started.

Emily Prentiss: [browsing through mail Garrett received in prison] Get a load of this one. "Dear Mr. Garrett, it took a lot of courage to do what you did. Most people are cowards and don't do what they feel inside them. You are an inspiration, and I applaud you."
[scoffs]
Emily Prentiss: "I applaud you."
David Rossi: These are supposed to be the non-wacko letters.
Penelope Garcia: Hey, guess what? JJ's genius has struck again. That hunch about the hair was right. I'm sending you an ATM image of Cara Smith. She's the first victim. This was taken ten hours before her murder. Check it.
Detective Childers: The unsub cut her hair, too.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, there could be a sexual element involved. Trichophilia is a fetish where one becomes aroused by the removal of hair.
Derek Morgan: Well either way, it's starting to look less like a copycat. The unsub's deviating too much from Garrett's M.O. Garrett never took trophies.

Derek Morgan: Hey, say it like you mean it, baby.
Penelope Garcia: Yon know, I'm gonna. So, if you look in the dictionary, the word "normal," you will see Cara Smith. College student, well-liked, straight A's, English lit. major. Speaking of which, I just got a transcript of Rodney Garrett's last words, hot off the press, and a gold star to the first person who can identify the source of this. "She comes like fullest moon on happy night. Taper of waist..."
Dr. Spencer Reid: "With shape of magic might." It's from *The Thousand and One Nights*. Not the exact translation that I would have used, but it's got its own merits.
Emily Prentiss: And in a shocking non-upset, we have a winner.
David Rossi: Garrett was sixth-grade dropout. An unlikely guy to be quoting from a Harvard Classic.

Emily Prentiss: There was definitely something a little strange about her.
Aaron Hotchner: It's curious, one woman at the center of two serial killers.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Yeah, what are the odds of that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Astronomical. Removing from the calculations serial killer groupies...
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Sorry I asked.
Derek Morgan: You know, whether she knew it or not, maybe Helen Garrett did give Dylan something. I mean, someone once said that every seed, even malignant ones, they won't grow unless they get water from someplace.


"Criminal Minds: Risky Business (#5.13)" (2010)
Emily Prentiss: [glancing at the completed star puzzle] There's a lot to hate about you, Dr. Reid.
David Rossi: Play poker with him sometime.
Derek Morgan: Try playing chess with him.
Penelope Garcia: Or Go.

Penelope Garcia: Sir, it's not that I'm not glad to be coming with you, because I am. I just don't understand the why.
Aaron Hotchner: One of the aspects of an equivocal death investigation when suicide is a probability is an indirect personality assessment. Our victims are all Internet generation kids. There should be invaluable personal data on their computers to mine for the evaluation.
Derek Morgan: If they committed suicide, evidence of it will probably be in their cyber world.
Penelope Garcia: So I'm gonna snoop through dead kids' computers?
David Rossi: This plane seldom makes pleasure trips.

Aaron Hotchner: We believe the unsub responsible for these deaths may be a teenager.
Emily Prentiss: He's a loner. He doesn't participate in team sports or group activities. He's withdrawn, very low self-esteem.
Dr. Spencer Reid: His only form of pure interaction is online. He engages in activity that draws attention to himself yet isolates himself from his peers.
Jennifer Jareau: [presenting the profile to a group of adults] Parents and teachers should watch out for the warning signs: kids with bloodshot eyes, marks on their necks, severe headaches, disorientation.
David Rossi: In real life, he considers himself a loser. In cyberspace, he can pull strings. Makes him feel powerful.
Deputy #1: Does this kid know that other kids are dying because of him?
Derek Morgan: He's choking himself and daring others to do it, so we're most likely looking at reckless homicides here.
Jennifer Jareau: If you see anything that's unusual or suspicious, just call the sheriff's department and we will try to direct you as best we can. All right, thank you.
[the crowd breaks up]
Jennifer Jareau: Well, we told as many parents as we could.
Sheriff Samuels: Do you think it helped?
Jennifer Jareau: Not as much as getting through to the kids will.

Derek Morgan: Hope you got a plan B!


"Criminal Minds: The Good Earth (#8.5)" (2012)
Jennifer Jareau: Excuse me, everybody. I have an announcement to make. As I'm sure some of you were aware, Henry was a little nervous about going trick-or-treating this year. But he's decided to go anyway.
David Rossi: Great. What changed his mind?
Jennifer Jareau: The BAU did. I told him that he should go out on Halloween and try to figure out which monsters are real and which ones are not.
Derek Morgan: So he wants to be a profiler.
Jennifer Jareau: Ah, he wants to be his favorite profiler.
[Henry appears in Reid-like wear]

Derek Morgan: It says here that vomit was found at the vicinity of his abduction
Penelope Garcia: Hmm, thank you for reminding me of that disgusting detail, Dreamy D.! Yes that vomit has been collected and is being analyzed as we speak and I am very grateful that I have this job and someone has that one, that's not me!

Derek Morgan: Hey, you're talking to the room, PG
Penelope Garcia: Hm, If by PG you mean Parental Guidance strongly advised, I'd say PA prudent advice!

Derek Morgan: He's efficient and well-organized. It's not easy to make four people vanish and then stay vanished.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It has been done before, though. Uh, political kidnappings frequently require holding multiple adults simultaneously.
David Rossi: Or they're already dead. Nothing says "can't be found" like a shallow grave in the middle of nowhere.


"Criminal Minds: The Edge of Winter (#9.19)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: [opening quote] "No one is ever a victim, although your conquerors will have you believe in your own victimhood. How else could they conquer you?" - Barbara Marciniak

Derek Morgan: [closing quote] "There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. There are times when reality is nothing but pain and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind"- Patrick Rothfuss

Derek Morgan: Blake?
Alex Blake: Yeah, what's up?
Derek Morgan: I think I figured it out! Check every shelf in that house for a wooden box
Alex Blake: What's in the box?
Derek Morgan: The answer to this case!

Derek Morgan: I'm more concerned about the MO. Is this peakeristic or flat out sadist?
David Rossi: Could be a combo platter with a side order of *psycho.*


"Criminal Minds: Into the Woods (#6.9)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] Ralph Ellison said: I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me.

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Reid said he'd need painkillers right away. He left his supply in the mine.
Derek Morgan: Well, there was a lot of money left in that backpack. I don't know how much he's got on him, but those drugs aren't cheap.
David Rossi: But he's got Robert. For some people, that's as good as cash.

Derek Morgan: What'd you find, Reid?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I went back ten years, matching reports of missing children with Daniel and Tyler's victimology, and in my estimation, this UnSub may have taken 12 victims.
David Rossi: How can you attribute all of those to the same offender?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The dates and locations of the abductions create an unmistakable pattern.
Emily Prentiss: Now, if he's been abducting children for ten years, why weren't we called in before now?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The thing is, he walks the entire trail, end to end, and each way takes approximately six months. His sixth victim was taken from Dawsonville, Georgia, in 2006. Then he walked all the way to Manchester, Vermont, and he took a seventh victim in 2007. He wasn't down south again until 2009, when James Clutter's parents woke up from a night of camping, he was gone. They just assumed he wandered off.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: We didn't get called in because nobody knew he existed. The crimes are years apart and across state lines.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The interesting thing is, ten years ago he was a more aggressive hunter, likely on the move hunting and killing all 365 days a year, but two years ago he stopped travelling so far.
Emily Prentiss: He's slowing down.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I think something's affected his mobility, or old age, or an injury from years of living on the trail. But the odd thing is, for the past two winters, he's returned to this 30 mile radius. He takes a victim with him in the fall to stay with him until spring somewhere within that area.
David Rossi: These are harsh winters. He needs to find shelter.
Derek Morgan: And it would have to be heavily camouflaged. Even the most experienced hikers haven't seen it.

Derek Morgan: [seeing a kidnapped child being reunited with his parents] How often does *that* happen?
David Rossi: Not often enough.


"Criminal Minds: Outfoxed (#5.8)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: [opening quotation, voiceover] "Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else, unless it's an enemy." - Albert Einstein.

David Rossi: Hudson, this is Dr. Spencer Reid.
Field Agent Anne Hudson: [shaking Reid's hand] Field agent Anne Hudson. The, uh, father is serving in Iraq. Three nights ago the cops found his family buried over there.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Buried?
Emily Prentiss: Neighbors heard the dog barking, came over, he was scratching at the grave. Lucy, their oldest child, she's still in her swimsuit.
Aaron Hotchner: What does the father know?
Field Agent Anne Hudson: Some of it. He was on patrol. Took his unit a couple of days to reach him. He arrives today.
David Rossi: Last year, the Williams family was killed and found exactly the same way. They lived in Newport News.
Derek Morgan: The father, Dan Williams, was also serving overseas.
Field Agent Anne Hudson: Now the police are overwhelmed and getting serious heat from the military. We need some answers fast.
Jennifer Jareau: As do the media. They're already calling this the work of a serial killer.
Aaron Hotchner: They're right. It is.
Field Agent Anne Hudson: But why bury them? I mean, it can't be to hide the bodies.
David Rossi: It's a sign of remorse.
Derek Morgan: And when they're done being remorseful, this will happen again.

Derek Morgan: They don't start with entire families. There are more victims, we just haven't them found yet

Dr. Spencer Reid: Mirror neurons and stressors relating to the unsub's past may have triggered this. The strongest of which is smell
Derek Morgan: And sounds


"Criminal Minds: The Slave of Duty (#5.10)" (2009)
David Rossi: [finding evidence at Belser's apartment] Look at these.
Derek Morgan: Garage door openers?
David Rossi: Universal garage door openers. This solves the problem of having to copy a key. Some drivers are smart enough to use a valet key, but no one thinks to take a garage door opener with them.
Emily Prentiss: That's how he got into Melissa Johnson's house. We only found prints on the interior garage door. We thought it was from when he moved the dog into the garage.
David Rossi: People rarely think to lock a door that lies beyond another locked door.

David Rossi: We believe our unsub is already with his next victim. If he matches pattern, she'll be a successful woman, probably brunette, early 30s to mid-40s. She'll be at home in Nashville's upper echelon.
Dr. Spencer Reid: This means that he fits in. He drives the right car, he wears the right clothes, he's highly intelligent, and probably comes from a place of status.
Derek Morgan: This guy's sociable, and he's endearing. You would never suspect that this man is capable of murder. But he will do whatever it takes to protect the fantasy that he's trying to relive.
David Rossi: It's this fantasy which fuels his drive. He's recreating a romantic evening, repeating it with each of his victims.
Derek Morgan: He most likely recently had a relationship taken away from him. So look at men who have lost loved ones or gone through a messy divorce.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Like Bundy, these women are representations of that first loss. Uh... Bundy picked victims who had similar features to the woman that abandoned him, and we believe that our unsub is doing the exact same thing.
Emily Prentiss: These women were confident, successful, and strong, and they fought back. Which means he has the ability to overpower them fairly easily.
David Rossi: He believes, or fantasizes, he's in a relationship with these women. No matter how fleeting the initial interaction is, it's everything to him, an invitation.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Our technical analyst has compiled a list of locations that the victims visited prior to their death. These are high-class establishments. We're going to want to visit the same places.
Derek Morgan: So look for men who fit the profile, but also women who match victimology. If somebody's been paying a little too much attention to them, talk to them. Get a read, then jot their name down so that we can check them out.
Det. Landon Kaminski: All right, folks, pick up your canvassing assignments and get to work.

Sympathetic attendant: If there's anything I can do...
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: [shakes hand] Thank you.
Evidence Tech Gina: I'm so sorry for your loss.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Thank you, Gina. Thank you for coming.
David Rossi: [next in receiving line] I think you could use some air. Jack's okay. I saw him with his cousins.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Okay. Jessica, would you make sure that, uh, Jack gets something to eat?
Jessica Brooks: Sure.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I'll be right back. Thanks.
[follows Rossi and the men pass the team sitting in chairs at a table, and go off-screen]
Emily Prentiss: [gravely] What do we do?
Derek Morgan: There's nothin' we can do. We just gotta wait him out.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [looks up] You think he'll ever come back?
Jennifer Jareau: [stoically] Would you?
Derek Morgan: He'll come back. I just don't know what he's gonna look like when he does.
Jennifer Jareau: We just... need to be there for him when he's ready.

Derek Morgan: All right, baby girl. Talk to me. I need employer records and a list of venues that Culpepper contracted out to this weekend!
Penelope Garcia: Oh, sir, check your email. It hit you inbox 60 seconds ago
Derek Morgan: Thanks, Penelope


"Criminal Minds: The Replicator (#8.24)" (2013)
Aaron Hotchner: Dave, a figure 8?
David Rossi: That's what it look like. I just sent you all a picture
Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe it's an infinity symbol
Alex Blake: Well, if it's infinity, he could be boasting "I'll go on forever"?
Derek Morgan: Or if it's an 8. Strauss was his 8th victim
Jennifer Jareau: And the unofficial 8th member of our team

Penelope Garcia: He inherited a family compound in rural Virginia. Coordinates are on your phone.
Alex Blake: What else do you have on Curtis?
Penelope Garcia: Just like you thought. John Curtis was demoted in the FBI after the Amerithrax case. He was slated to take over the coveted New York field office, but then was shipped to the not coveted Kansas City one. He worked there for many years quietly before he was able to weasel his way back into the nation's capital. On paper, he is a rock star. He immediately transferred to the Department of Justice, the Intelligence Oversight section. He's a genius on multiple levels.
Aaron Hotchner: What's his background?
Penelope Garcia: Only child, parents died when he was 18. Never married. Total loner, just like Blake said.
Aaron Hotchner: And all he's ever had to care about is his work.
Derek Morgan: And when he lost that, he snapped.

Derek Morgan: He's got the placed lined with C-4. We've only got three minutes.
Dr. Spencer Reid: This seems too easy. Zugzwang also means a dilemma in chess where the best move is not to move at all.
[Blake stands up after Reid unlocks all locks]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Wait, don't get up! It's a pressure sensor.
[the door closes]

Penelope Garcia: [the team is reminiscing about Strauss] Do you guys remember that one time that she called me, but I thought that it was somebody else?
[indicating Morgan]
Derek Morgan: Oh, no.
Jennifer Jareau: That... that was funny.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, maybe to you. I was mortified.
Alex Blake: What did you say?
Penelope Garcia: [laughing] I said "Talk dirty to me."
Derek Morgan: Yes, she did.
Alex Blake: [open mouthed surprise] Are you kidding?


"Criminal Minds: The Apprenticeship (#8.6)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: You're gonna like this, kid. I promise. See it and hit it. Just relax. Here we go.
[Reid misses a ball]
Derek Morgan: Okay, okay. First try. Keep your eye on the ball.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Gravity plus drag coefficient plus magnus... I see what you're saying. If I can adjust the velocity of my swing...
Derek Morgan: No, what I'm saying is get out of your head. Just feel it.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Feel it. Feel it.
Derek Morgan: Don't think. Just feel it.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Just feel. Don't think. Just feel it.
Derek Morgan: Here it comes.
[Reid misses another ball]
Derek Morgan: Reid, that's not feeling it.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm feeling like an idiot.

Derek Morgan: [opening, voiceover] "Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher." - Japanese proverb

Derek Morgan: [points at a kissing young couple] Reid? You remember those days?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Not really.
Derek Morgan: Where did you hang out as a teenager?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Library, chemistry lab, library...
Derek Morgan: No, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about normal, non-genius teenage type of stuff. Malls, coffee shops, parks.

Derek Morgan: Hey, mama. Tell me something good.
Penelope Garcia: Well, I cleaned up this nut bag's laptop. The guy was a torture porn connoisseur. The dude makes Rick James seem Amish...


"Criminal Minds: Route 66 (#9.5)" (2013)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Hey, you wanna read? I always read when I'm anxious.
[hands Derek a book]
Derek Morgan: [reads the title] "The Magical Mathematics of Quantum Physics" - ah! Nope.
[hands it back]
Derek Morgan: I'm good, I'll wait for the movie.

Derek Morgan: Well, we can't cover everything! Texas is huge
Dr. Spencer Reid: 286,581 square miles to be exact. Largest state in the contiguous 48 and the 2nd most populous. Don't mess with Texas!

David Rossi: As you all know, Eddie Lee Wilcox is armed and dangerous.
Jennifer Jareau: He's also smart and criminally sophisticated. He knows police procedure and how to use it.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He's flush with cash from his robbery in Chicago, but he'll try to maintain a low profile, so he may resort to his robbery skills at some point.
Derek Morgan: Eddie's a car thief. And he's a good one, so he'll switch vehicles often.
Jennifer Jareau: He was last seen in a Chevy minivan, but we do not count on him being in it for long.
Derek Morgan: So canvass crowded parking lots and malls. That's most likely where he'll ditch cars and find new ones.
David Rossi: We've been calling this a child abduction, but Eddie's daughter Samantha may actually be an unwitting participant.
Alex Blake: We know she wanted to run away from home, and her father's somehow taking advantage of that.
Derek Morgan: This guy's evolved into a sociopathic spree killer, and he's got the ego of a career criminal, so there's no telling how far he'll go to save himself.
David Rossi: That ego may be feeding a sort of pipe dream that if he does escape, he may actually get to have a healthy relationship with his daughter.
Jennifer Jareau: A relationship he believes was taken from him.
Alex Blake: But when reality sets in, his dream will be shattered and that's when Samantha will be in the most danger.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The majority of these cases end in either murder-suicide or suicide by cop.
Jennifer Jareau: Up to this point, we've been reacting to him, but the roadblocks and the media blitz are set up to make him react to us.
Derek Morgan: So if you spot him, call for backup and proceed with extreme caution. He's probably sleep deprived and irrational.
David Rossi: The closer we get, the more dangerous he becomes.

Jennifer Jareau: Bleeding internally from what?
David Rossi: They think it's probably all the scar tissue.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Torn adhesions from his stab wounds.
Derek Morgan: George Foyet returns from the grave.
Alex Blake: What's the prognosis?
David Rossi: He's stable right now. They did an ultrasound, but they can't seem to see exactly where the bleeding was coming from.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He'll need an exploratory laparotomy.
Jennifer Jareau: Does Jack know?
David Rossi: Not yet. We talked to Haley's sister Jessica. We didn't want to worry the little guy.
Alex Blake: And what about Beth?
David Rossi: I left a message, but she's on a business trip in Milan. Look, I know you're all worried; so am I, but a teenage girl's been abducted, and Hotch would want us to focus on the case, not on him, and that's exactly what we're gonna do. When the plane lands, Morgan, JJ, I want you to interview Samantha Wilcox's mother. Reid, Blake, you go check out the abduction site. I'm catching the next flight to Wichita and I'll meet you there.
Alex Blake: What about Hotch?
David Rossi: Garcia's here. She's not going anywhere. Now let's go find this girl.


"Criminal Minds: The Fisher King: Part 2 (#2.1)" (2006)
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: That was Hotch.
Derek Morgan: Don't tell me. Reid already figured it out and we drove all the way out here for nothing, right?
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Derek...
Derek Morgan: What? What?
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: The... the unsub... Elle was shot in her apartment this morning.
Derek Morgan: [stopping the car] What?
[Morgan turns the car around]
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: What are you doing?
Derek Morgan: I'm going back.
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: No, no, no. Hotch said not to.
Derek Morgan: I don't give a damn what Hotch said.

Derek Morgan: Detective, I've seen kids missing for a decade, and their rooms look exactly the way they did the day that they left. Parents don't just pack up their kid's stuff and put 'em in boxes in the garage. Parents don't give up, ever.

Aaron Hotchner: What the hell was that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: He had a bomb.
Derek Morgan: You didn't think we needed to know that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I told you to go downstairs.
Derek Morgan: Well, you didn't say "bomb". You left that part out.

Dr. Spencer Reid: There's something familiar about it. I think I heard it somewhere before
Derek Morgan: Thought you had a photographic memory
Dr. Spencer Reid: Eidetic memory, that's primarily related to things I read. Like I said, this is something I think I've heard


"Criminal Minds: The Return (#9.8)" (2013)
Penelope Garcia: You are not really looking at my project. You always look at my projects, Derek. What's wrong?
Derek Morgan: Ah, Baby Girl, I am sorry. I don't know, but me and Savannah we had like this amazing night and it cut to 4 hours later and she throwing me an air kiss and rushing out the door to work and I got stuck at 2 o'clock in the morning, walking her little pup
Penelope Garcia: Oh, you got Morgan-ed
Derek Morgan: Morganed? What? What are you talking about?
Penelope Garcia: You are on call, 24/7 and when a case comes in, you drop whatever and whoever you are doing and whole ass back to work
Derek Morgan: Well I guess I never thought about it like that
Penelope Garcia: And now you have what Oprah calls an aha-moment. Think about it: if you would have gotten the call, you would have done exactly the same thing to her. Because your job comes first and so does hers. And that's why you two work
Derek Morgan: Sigh
Penelope Garcia: Oh my gosh, she is you in heels
Derek Morgan: You're right
Penelope Garcia: I am always right. Also you are secretly in love with me.

Derek Morgan: [opening quote] Alfred Hitchcock said: "There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it"

[last lines]
Derek Morgan: How did you know I was going to be home?
Savannah Hayes: Sit... Penelope sent me a text when you guys left Chicago.
Derek Morgan: Oh, she did?... And you did all of this for me?
Savannah Hayes: Yes. And... I made you... this.
Derek Morgan: Well.
Savannah Hayes: Which is why takeout will be here in 20 minutes. I hope you like Indian.
Derek Morgan: Anything is better than whatever that is.
Savannah Hayes: I know. It's kind of bad... Stop!
Derek Morgan: How was your day? Did you save some lives?
Savannah Hayes: Mm. We both did.
Derek Morgan: Yeah, we did... So, uh, what do you got in mind for the next 20 minutes?

Aaron Hotchner: It's possible we're dealing with a terrorist organization with one man at the center. We're basing our profile on his motivation.
Derek Morgan: We believe these children were abducted by a preferential offender who targets pre-pubescent boys.
Alex Blake: Our unsub is likely a male in his forties, with some military or law enforcement training.
Jennifer Jareau: We think he has a secluded location that provides enough privacy to hold his victims captive for several years.
David Rossi: In that time, he breaks these kids down, rebuilds them to be hardened soldiers.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We believe they're suffering from an extreme case of Stockholm syndrome. Much like Patty Hearst, who came to view the SLA as her new family and the rest of the world as adversaries, we believe he's attempting to instill this same feeling within his army.
Derek Morgan: He likely uses military torture techniques to get his victims to see his enemies as their own.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He puts them through a rigorous and punishing military training regimen in order to prepare them mentally and physically for his war.
Derek Morgan: And once this happens, the physical threats stop and the reprogramming begins.
Jennifer Jareau: And now that he has their trust, he maintains this connection by bolstering them with love and affection.
David Rossi: His connection to them is important. It ensures once they're released, they will not deviate from their orders.
Alex Blake: His ultimate target has yet to be determined, but it could be as broad as American citizens.
Dr. Spencer Reid: These attacks have been well orchestrated, methodical, and extremely violent in order to maximize destruction and panic.
Aaron Hotchner: Which is why we need to get ahead of him in order to prevent more bloodshed. But in order to do that, we need to identify the source of his rage.


"Criminal Minds: Snake Eyes (#7.13)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: It doesn't take much to ignite a Mob war.
David Rossi: And collateral damage means nothing to these guys. If we don't get a handle on this soon, innocent people are gonna die.

Penelope Garcia: [picks up a phone] If this is a sales call on a Sunday morning...
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Settle. It's me, JJ. I tried your cell. Listen, something's come up. You need to get down to the office pronto.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, you are kidding.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I know. I wish psychopathic killers would be a little more respectful of our weekends, too. But what are you gonna do? Is everything okay?
Penelope Garcia: No. Kevin and I got in a fight last night, and to self-soothe, I drank a lot of wine. And, JJ, you know I can't drink wine. Why did I drink so much wine?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You'll be fine.
Penelope Garcia: No, I don't know. 'Cause right now, everything is blurring. Oh, my God. My hair hurts. How is that possible? He's coming out of the shower. I hate confrontation. It was such a fight. I hate confrontation.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Then don't confront. Just kiss, make up, and get your butt over here.
Penelope Garcia: [ding-dong] What is this, Grand Central Station?
[knock, knock]
Penelope Garcia: Oh, God.
[opens the door]
Penelope Garcia: Kevin.
Kevin Lynch: I am so sorry about last night. I should not have stormed out like that.
Penelope Garcia: You stormed out?
Kevin Lynch: Yeah.
Penelope Garcia: You stormed out all last night?
Kevin Lynch: Yeah. What's...
[Garcia closes the door and finds Morgan]
Derek Morgan: Hey. You see we gotta go in, right?
Penelope Garcia: Yes. Yes. JJ just called me, too. Let's go. My things. This is mine and this is mine and this is yours. This is mine. See you there.
[opens the door, to Kevin]
Penelope Garcia: Hey, let's go.

[last lines]
Derek Morgan: Hi, Miss thing. Enough is enough. It's time for you and me to have a little sit-down. What's going on with you? Half the time I call, I get your voicemail. When I do get you, I don't get even a little bit of sass coming my way. Now, what's the deal? Hello!
Penelope Garcia: Okay. Look. I get it that men and women are different and Venus and Mars and all that stuff, but I do not understand how you...
Derek Morgan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump your brakes. What is this about?
Penelope Garcia: You were in my shower at 7:00 in the morning.
Derek Morgan: Because I shower at 7:00 in the morning. Baby, you had a little too much to drink the other night. You called me to come over and keep you company.
Penelope Garcia: I know. I remember that, but...
Derek Morgan: Okay, what happened between us was popcorn. And a movie on TV. Which you fell asleep in the middle of, by the way.
Penelope Garcia: So, you slept on the...
Derek Morgan: Couch.
Penelope Garcia: Yes, you did. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you, God, for maintaining the integrity of my most beloved of friendships, and from now on, I promise only mostly the purest of mineral water will cross these lips.
Kevin Lynch: [comes in] Hey, plum sauce, are you coming?
Penelope Garcia: Yes. I'll be right there.
Kevin Lynch: Hey, Derek.
Derek Morgan: Hey, what's up, man?
Penelope Garcia: Since the fight, we have decided to have a standing date every Tuesday night.
Derek Morgan: Good luck with that with this job. You got a great guy out there. You know that, right?
Penelope Garcia: I know. What does a girl do when she has two great guys?
Derek Morgan: She doesn't pour that extra glass of wine.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. Okay, love you, bye.
Derek Morgan: Plum sauce?

Penelope Garcia: And that's why we were able to get a match on his prints so fast
Derek Morgan: You've always been fast, baby girl
Penelope Garcia: [Freezes] Eh, yeah. Got to go!
[hangs up]


"Criminal Minds: Safe Haven (#6.5)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] All humanity is one undivided & indivisible family. I cannot detach myself from the wickedest soul. -Mahatma Gandhi

Derek Morgan: [voiceover] "But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep." Robert Frost

Derek Morgan: [Jeremy is holding his sister at knifepoint] Do you wanna die?
Jeremy Sayer: You won't shoot me when Mommy's little angel can get hurt.
Derek Morgan: Yes or no?
Jeremy Sayer: I'll cut her neck open. I know how to do it. I've practiced.
Derek Morgan: I'm not gonna ask you again, Jeremy.
Jeremy Sayer: You can't shoot a kid.
Derek Morgan: I can shoot a killer. And I will, believe that. If that knife even twitches, I'm gonna put a bullet right through your brain.

Kendra Sayer: I was pregnant with twins. And then one day I wasn't. Is that what you want to hear? The doctor said one fetus consumed the other.
Jeremy Sayer: I wasn't even born yet and you blamed me?
Kendra Sayer: You are rotten to the core! You always have been!
Derek Morgan: [Morgan comes in] FBI! Drop your weapon.
Kendra Sayer: Maybe I made you into a monster because I hated you when you were inside me!
[Prentiss tries to stop her]
Kendra Sayer: But I think I hated you because I knew what you were!


"Criminal Minds: Compulsion (#1.2)" (2005)
Penelope Garcia: Okay, you know how on 'Star Trek' when Captain Kirk asked McCoy to do something totally impossible, and McCoy says, "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor not a miracle worker"?
Derek Morgan: Hey, what are you telling me? Not to expect a miracle?
Penelope Garcia: No, I'm saying I'm not a doctor.

Elle Greenaway: Well, what is the most sinful place on campus?
Derek Morgan: Come on Elle, when I was in college it was everywhere.

Derek Morgan: OCD? I'm thinking more like OMG.
Elle Greenaway: OMG?
Derek Morgan: 'Oh my God'.

Derek Morgan: Hey, Reid, you got a statistic on arsonists?
Dr. Spencer Reid: 82% are white males between 17 and 27. Female arsonists are far less likely, their motive typically being revenge.
Derek Morgan: Sounds like our boy's a student.
Jason Gideon: Oh, don't be so sure. You rely too much on precedent, you never allow for the unexpected.


"Criminal Minds: There's No Place Like Home (#7.7)" (2011)
Penelope Garcia: P.G. at your service, don't let the name fool ya.
Derek Morgan: Baby girl you're on speaker.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Garcia can you look for grave robberies in tornado alley over the last five years?
Penelope Garcia: Okey Dokey, searching.Oh it's a shockingly big list. Who knew grave robbing was so on trend?

Dr. Spencer Reid: It's Frankenstein.
Derek Morgan: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The UnSub isn't just trying to put his brother back together, he's trying to bring him back from the dead. He believes that tornadoes have the power to take life, so conversely, they should have the power to restore it.

Penelope Garcia: So, local PD have IDed your victims. I'm putting this all on your tablets if you'd like to follow along. First up is Jason Meredith, sixteen year old runaway from Garden City, Kansas. Mom said he took off over a year ago. Next up is Eric Janelle. Fifteen year old foster kid from Wichita. He's been gone three weeks. Oh, both of these kids have records, for possession and prostitution.
Emily Prentiss: They were street hustlers.
Aaron Hotchner: High-risk kids. This could be a sexual predator.
Derek Morgan: An extremely violent one, if the unsub is responsible for the damage done to the bodies, especially those missing limbs.
Emily Prentiss: Well, now, he could be keeping the body parts for some sort of fetish.
Penelope Garcia: Ugh! Okay, eww. That is my cue. I'm here if you need me, with my binary machines that don't say gross things.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Who's that with Hotch?
Dr. Spencer Reid: There's been another abduction. A boy named Shaun Rutledge. That's his younger brother Billy.
Derek Morgan: Says a young white guy in an RV attacked them with a crowbar in the rain.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He's also changed his victim selection criterion. The boy he grabbed gets straight A's, plays football, even volunteers at his church.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So he wanted him so badly he was willing to leave a witness?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Which suggests he's losing touch with reality and his delusions are starting to take over.
Derek Morgan: What is it about this kid that was so attractive to him?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: He was teenage and Caucasian like the others, right?
Dr. Spencer Reid: We also think that a sexual element may actually not be at play.
Derek Morgan: So then what the hell is driving this guy?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Maybe it's love. What if he's trying to recreate someone he loves?
Derek Morgan: It is an emotion that drives us to extremes.


"Criminal Minds: Perennials (#8.11)" (2012)
Penelope Garcia: I can't believe you were shot with...
Derek Morgan: I got shot in my bulletproof vest, baby girl. It's just a couple bruises. I'm okay.
Penelope Garcia: Why don't they make better vests? That's not bulletproof. It's like when you fall in the pool and your watch stops working. That's water-resistant, not waterproof. They should...
Derek Morgan: I'm just fine. See? It's just a couple bruises.
Penelope Garcia: How... how long do you have to... be taped up like this?
Derek Morgan: I don't know. A couple days, maybe.
Penelope Garcia: Oh. Okay.
Derek Morgan: Are you relaxed now?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, I'm relaxed. Hey, if you need someone to help you, you know, put new bindings on, rewrap or wrap, unwrap...
Jennifer Jareau: Hey, you guys... Uh. Well, hey. Hope I'm not interrupting anything.

Derek Morgan: Well, let me guess: she doesn't know nothing about nothing
David Rossi: Practically a direct quote! How did you know that?
Derek Morgan: Ah, it's a busy enough street, broad daylight, house is fully exposed. Either this unsub is really, really good or this is the worst neighborhood watch program

[last lines]
Aaron Hotchner: Yesterday while we in were in Florida, a body was found in the desert outside Las Cruces, New Mexico.
David Rossi: A man had his leg amputated and replaced with the leg of someone else.
Aaron Hotchner: And as you know, last month a body was found in Dallas with its mouth sewn shut, like the Silencer.
David Rossi: What looked then to be a possible one-time copycat now has to be examined in a different light.
Derek Morgan: Someone's out there mimicking the crimes we've solved.
David Rossi: That's how it looks.
Aaron Hotchner: This is now an active case, which we'll be investigating along with our other cases.


"Criminal Minds: Gabby (#9.16)" (2014)
Penelope Garcia: He was released last year for slinging bennies and heroin
Derek Morgan: Where is he now?
Penelope Garcia: Sleeping I imagine! I'm sending you his home address. There it is!

Derek Morgan: Mama, is it even possible for somebody to live completely offline these days?
Penelope Garcia: Sure, if you live in an Afghani cave or certain parts of New Jersey, other than that not so much

Derek Morgan: JJ, you okay?
Jennifer Jareau: They don't have any place safe to be.
Alex Blake: It's not ideal, but they'll be in foster care until they find a family.
David Rossi: Yeah, but how many more kids like that are out there?
Aaron Hotchner: That's a good question.


"Criminal Minds: Won't Get Fooled Again (#1.3)" (2005)
Derek Morgan: My bomb fragments, let's start putting this bad boy together.
Penelope Garcia: Why bother, don't you just dust for prints and... stuff?
Derek Morgan: Garcia, what are you doing in the FBI?
Penelope Garcia: I didn't get into medical school.

Derek Morgan: You ready to do some work?
Garcia: Why not? I haven't slept this week,I might as well give up eating too.
Derek Morgan: Awwh,poor baby. Try not to let the tears hit the paper, it gets a little messy.

Derek Morgan: [showing Garcia the bomb fragments] How these things are put together can tell you how the unsub thinks.
Penelope Garcia: You sound like Gideon.
Derek Morgan: Okay, ouch. Oh, you think it's bull? Okay... all right.
[showing Garcia an evidence baggie]
Derek Morgan: You see that section of pipe? Okay, that right there used to be part of the cap. It screwed onto these threads right here. But see, here's the thing: it had to be done very carefully because even if one tiny grain of powder got onto those threads while he was working, that little bit of friction would have ignited the bomb. Boom, boom, boom. See you later, unsub. Now, he didn't have to use a powder that fine. He didn't have to use threaded caps, and he didn't even have to use a steel pipe, and it would have been a whole lot safer if he hadn't. But the bomb wouldn't have been nearly as deadly. So what does that tell you about our unsub?
Penelope Garcia: He's one sick puppy?
Derek Morgan: [laughs] To say the least. One sick puppy that aims to kill. Not scare, not vandalize, or make some kind of political statement. Kill.


"Criminal Minds: Paradise (#4.4)" (2008)
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Three nights ago outside of Reno, this car was hit by a tractor trailer.
Derek Morgan: Any survivors?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: The truck driver walked away unharmed. Jonathan and Rebecca Gallen, the passengers in the car, were DOA. When the local sheriff arrived on the scene, he noticed several things - no blood spatter inside the car, no seat belt burns, no lacerations from the air bags.
Dr. Spencer Reid: They were dead before the accident.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: The autopsy report confirmed that, and the cause of death. Blunt force head trauma and evidence of rape and torture to the woman.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Well, the unsub wasn't very successful at hiding the fact that he murdered two people.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Hey, if you guys are hungry, I know a pretty good Indian restaurant that's open all night.
Emily Prentiss: Oh, I can't. I have a date.
Derek Morgan: You got a date? With who?
Emily Prentiss: My hot tub.
Derek Morgan: Oh, now that sounds like a party.
Emily Prentiss: [amused laugh] You're so not invited.

Betty: [Derek and Emily entering the diner] Be right with you
Derek Morgan: It's not even lunchtime yet
Emily Prentiss: Well, the sign said: People travel miles for Flo's donuts
Betty: Sorry to keep you waiting! Would like a dozen to share?
[E&D show their badges]
Betty: Ooh, FBI!
Derek Morgan: Ma'am, we're trying to trace the steps of a couple that may have been here a few days ago
Betty: Darling, I've waited on 87 folks since we opened this morning. Someone would have to come through here doing cartwheels on fire for to remember him
Emily Prentiss: Will you take a look anyway please?
Betty: Eh,
[picks up the photos]
Betty: Hm, well I'll be... I do remember them!
Derek Morgan: Where they doing cartwheels?
Betty: No! But I was! The lady left me $10 tip for breakfast, two days in a row. Nice couple


"Criminal Minds: The Pact (#8.2)" (2012)
Penelope Garcia: [badgering Rossi about his unused vacation days] Everyone likes vacation.
David Rossi: Vacations are overrated.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Didn't you take a vacation two years ago?
David Rossi: Luckily, two days in I was called back.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, and now he's got thirty-one days.
Alex Blake: A month?
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, sunshine is an essential source of Vitamin D. You should go to Florida and get some sunshine.
David Rossi: That's for old guys.
Derek Morgan: What about a safari in Africa?
David Rossi: Too hot.
Dr. Spencer Reid: How about Italy?
David Rossi: Too many relatives.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Something's just... off about this guy.
Derek Morgan: Gut feeling?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Deep gut.
[finds a box in the drawings]
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Jennifer Jareau, your gut knows what it's talking about.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Ugh! Why are men so messy?
Derek Morgan: I don't get down like this, I'm a clean freak!
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Huh, why does that not surprise me?


"Criminal Minds: The Boogeyman (#2.6)" (2006)
Derek Morgan: So, why the woods, JJ?
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Hmmm?
Derek Morgan: Your fear, you said it was of the woods.
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Err, I used to be a camp counselor when I was a teenager, in the woods up around Vermont. I had the night shift, you know, tuck the girls in, turn off the lights, you know, the typical drill. Everything seemed fine. The kids were asleep, you know, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Until... I noticed that there was some blood, on the hallway floor. So I followed the blood trail down the hall to the camp director's cabin, walked up to his bed, and... he was just lying there, under his covers, dead. Someone stabbed him. I ran out of there so fast, out the door, down the hall. I can just remember it being really dark. Once I got to the door, there was another counselor; I guess she heard me scream. They caught the caretaker on his way in to town. I guess he still had the knife on him. Anyway, I guess that's probably when I decided I didn't like the woods.
Derek Morgan: You're serious?
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: [sips coffee looking serious and pauses] No!
[shakes head]
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: I mean you fell for that?
[they laugh]
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Come on! I don't know why I'm afraid of the woods! I am. Why is he still afraid of the dark?
Derek Morgan: Yeah, Reid why are you still afraid of the dark?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Because of the inherent absence of light!
[they laugh]

Dr. Spencer Reid: Elle was cleared?
Derek Morgan: It was self defense
Dr. Spencer Reid: So it was a good shoot?
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Well, she hit what she was aiming for
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's not what I meant
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: I know!

Dr. Spencer Reid: Here's a question: if a tree falls in a forest does it make a sound if there is nobody there to hear it?
Derek Morgan: What the hell are you reading over there?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm just thinking


"Criminal Minds: Our Darkest Hour (#5.23)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: Come on, think. Who was it?
Billy Flynn: [in Detective Spicer's flashback] Hello there.
Detective Matt Spicer: He was... He said "Hello there."
Derek Morgan: That was his first message. What's he doing?

Derek Morgan: [voiceover, opening] Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote : And out of the darkness came the hands that reach thro' nature, moulding men.

[a young child is a witness to his mother's murder]
Derek Morgan: Hey. Look, I'm really glad the kid didn't see anything, but it could have been helpful.
Detective Matt Spicer: But covering his eyes like that, that means he couldn't cover his ears.


"Criminal Minds: Blood Hungry (#1.11)" (2005)
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: We are looking for a 20 to 30 year old male.
Derek Morgan: The unsub engages in anthropophagy. It's a psychotic conviction that he must drink human blood, and possibly eat human flesh.
Dr. Spencer Reid: For Richard Trenton Chase, the Vampire Killer, he drank his victims' blood because he believed that aliens had invaded his body and were slowly drinking his blood.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: And if he didn't get the blood he needed... he'd die. Anthropophagy suggests such an extreme level of psychosis and disorganization that he couldn't have ventured very far from home to commit these crimes.
Derek Morgan: This guy lives, or has lived, in this town.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: He knows the territory.
Derek Morgan: You've all seen him. Maybe at the ballpark. Or riding his bike home from the grocery store. He wasn't always a threat. He could have been your neighbor. He might have been your friend. We think something about his delusion is keeping him here in town.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: So we're gonna start at Annie Stuart's house and we're gonna spread out there in quadrants. We're going to eliminate all of his hiding places.
Sheriff Hall: Paul Thompson's funeral is this afternoon. A lot of his neighbors are gonna be there.

Derek Morgan: [to a suspect with a crowbar in his hands] I've got a bullet that travels 1500 feet a second! How fast do you think you can get to us with that thing? Let's go! Put it down

Elle Greenaway: [looking at the GPS history of a car] It's got every stop she made and how long she spent there
Derek Morgan: You know, these things could cost more divorces that internet porn


"Criminal Minds: A Higher Power (#3.15)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: Hotch would never have taken this case. And I say "case" in the loosest sense.
David Rossi: Profile the facts as they are without bias. Isn't that what we do?
Derek Morgan: What facts, Rossi? Look at us. We don't have a single file.
David Rossi: Okay, let me help you out. Jump right in anytime. Fact one - there are no files, so it seems no case.
Emily Prentiss: But what if there is?
Dr. Spencer Reid: One fire, fourteen deaths, five suicides.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: All the suicides are connected to the original fire.
Emily Prentiss: And all exactly two weeks apart.
David Rossi: Come on, Derek, you can't tell me that doesn't feel a lot like a pattern.
Emily Prentiss: And a timeline.
David Rossi: Right?
Derek Morgan: A lot of people lost their kids in that fire. That's a whole world of grief, and for a few... suicide's their only way out.
David Rossi: Or someone decided it was.
Derek Morgan: And made it look this way?
David Rossi: What if they have?
Derek Morgan: Then we're looking for one very smart unsub.

Derek Morgan: There was a GFI unit installed in the kitchen. I put them in all my properties, especially bathroom and kitchen. Any surge of electric current shuts power down the source.
Emily Prentiss: Properties?
Derek Morgan: [pause] Yeah.
Emily Prentiss: How many properties?
Derek Morgan: Four.

Emily Prentiss: We'd also like to take a look at your brother's house
Det. Ronnie Baleman: I'll take you there
David Rossi: I think it is better if you stay here
Det. Ronnie Baleman: It's my case, I... I brought you here
Derek Morgan: Technically there is no case and if there was you wouldn't be on it


"Criminal Minds: Solitary Man (#5.17)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover, closing] Christopher Lasch said: Family is a haven in a heartless world.

[last lines]
Derek Morgan: You know, Prentiss, when I think about the things we see on a daily basis, all the bad, I'm still amazed at all the good.
Emily Prentiss: Yeah, but... do you think it evens out?
Derek Morgan: I'd like to think it does.

Sheriff Sanders: Hey, what's going on with him? :
Derek Morgan: That's what we need to find out


"Criminal Minds: A Badge and a Gun (#11.15)" (2016)
Derek Morgan: [opening quote] "The darkness always lies" - Anthony Liccione

Derek Morgan: [In front of a door to a gated area] Well, he could have just pushed all the buttons, hope somebody let him in
David Rossi: Or...
[tries to open the gate, which works]
David Rossi: he just walked right in

Derek Morgan: Hey, Baby Girl. Listen, I need you to check the neighborhood around our crime scenes. See if any unrelated crimes went down before ours
Penelope Garcia: Whatever you want, my caramel mocha surprise


"Criminal Minds: Lockdown (#10.16)" (2015)
Warden Miles Tate: Sorry, there is no cell signal inside the walls. We had to jam it.
Derek Morgan: You get inmates smuggling phones in?
Warden Miles Tate: Yeah, it's been a problem, one of many
Jennifer Jareau: What about WiFi?
Warden Miles Tate: We got you set up as close to the router as possible, but it's still glitch. Drives me nuts. Back when I worked on the Hill I couldn't survive without my phone
Kate Callahan: Hm, I got a teenager at home who knows exactly how you feel!
Warden Miles Tate: Ha ha, Well, we have got our good old fashion landlines and a fax machine for you, though.
David Rossi: I thought I was the only one that still use those!

Penelope Garcia: [On the phone] Chocolate Thunder! Chocolate Thunder! Where have you been? I left like four messages!
Derek Morgan: I am sorry, mamy. You know there is no signal inside
Penelope Garcia: Ah! That is cruel and unusual punishment! You that if I don't phone flirt with you at least twice a day, I get all itchy! Promise me you will check in more!
Derek Morgan: Hey what do you think, I am doing right now? Come on! Breathe!

Penelope Garcia: Hey, take care of yourself
Derek Morgan: Come on, you know me
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, I do, that's why I am saying it!


"Criminal Minds: Hero Worship (#10.14)" (2015)
Derek Morgan: TNT doesn't pack much bang for its buck. It'd be pretty hard to hide the amount needed to cause the damage to that coffeehouse
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's like page 118.
[Derek looks surprised]
Dr. Spencer Reid: The Anarchist Cook Book, TNT for Dummies?

Derek Morgan: How the hell did we beat the bomb squad here?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I could give you the statistics, but I don't think this is the time

Derek Morgan: Now he's graduated to nitroglycerine
Dr. Spencer Reid: Page 113


"Criminal Minds: Burn (#10.2)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: [opening quote] "The further backward you can look, the further forward you can see" - Winston Churchill

David Rossi: So where are Garcia and Morgan? Are they finally having that love child?
Derek Morgan: [walking in and tapping Rossi's shoulder] Heard that.
David Rossi: Busted!
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia is taking some personal time.
Jennifer Jareau: Is everything okay?
Kate Callahan: I hope it wasn't those burritos we had yesterday?
Aaron Hotchner: She's fine; Kevin Lynch will be presenting the case.

Dr. Spencer Reid: What's going on with Penelope?
Derek Morgan: Reid, I'll talk to you more about that when we're alone, alright?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Okay, but she's isn't sick, isn't she?
Derek Morgan: That really depends on your definition of sick.


"Criminal Minds: Heathridge Manor (#7.19)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: Hey, baby girl, you're on speaker. Give me the lowdown.
Penelope Garcia: Chocolate thunder, you can have the whole kit and caboodle. Just say the word.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Guys, I think these numbers are dates. If you reverse them and chop off the 11 at the beginning and end...
Aaron Hotchner: That's two days after each woman went missing.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's more than that, though. Look. March 1st is Saint Eichatadt day. March 21st is the spring equinox, and the 24th is the Feast of the Beast. All important holidays in the Satanic calendar for sacrifices.
Derek Morgan: What about the 11 on the end?
Dr. Spencer Reid: To many occultists 11 is symbolic of Lucifer.
Jennifer Jareau: Okay, I thought we were moving away from Satanic killings.
Aaron Hotchner: Apparently we need to reconsider.
Dr. Spencer Reid: There's gotta be some sort of connection to the Devil here.
Aaron Hotchner: Reid, what other upcoming dates are significant to Satanists?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Good Friday, then Easter eve. Then preparations begin in mid-April for the most important holiday of all, Walpurgis Night on April 30th.

Jennifer Jareau: Damn!
Derek Morgan: It looks like we just found our first victim!


"Criminal Minds: Lo-Fi (#3.20)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: Who in the hell thinks they can get away with murder in the middle of the day in New York City?
David Rossi: Someone patient, who waits for the one who gets separated from the flock.
Derek Morgan: [pantomimes holding a gun to Rossi's head] Bang.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Is that the spot?
Detective Brustin: Yeah, thereabouts.
David Rossi: Are we boring you? Look, I know you don't like SSA Joyner. Fine, I get it. But we're here to do a job.
Detective Brustin: Have any of your people ever been cops?
Derek Morgan: Chicago.
Detective Brustin: Then you'll understand. I take it real personal if something like this happens in my city. I was a beat cop during the Son of Sam. This is worse. He's not just going after one type; he's going after everybody. And I need everybody working on this case taking it personally.
Derek Morgan: You have that.
Detective Brustin: We'll see.

Derek Morgan: [about telling off SSA Joyner] I know, I was out of line.
David Rossi: You get too emotionally involved sometimes. I know the feeling.
Derek Morgan: I just felt like Hotch was taking her side.
David Rossi: There are no sides here.
Derek Morgan: I know.
David Rossi: The word is, they have an eye on you if SSA Joyner gets canned. People talk. But if she were to get fired, it would be because we didn't solve this case.
Derek Morgan: Rossi, I hope you're not saying you think I want her to fail.
David Rossi: Of course not. But I've never seen you push a superior like that before. So would you take the job?
Derek Morgan: I don't know. It might be nice to finally be the one making the calls.
David Rossi: And dealing with the politics of running a field office? That doesn't seem like you.
Derek Morgan: BAU wears people out, man. Look at Gideon. That man was *the* best, and in the end, he simply ran away. I mean, Hotch hasn't even thought about cracking a smile in over a year. That man has to take a personal day just so he can have a conversation with his own kid. What about you? How many times you been married?
David Rossi: I get it. But I'll make you a deal. If I think you're losing it, I'll pull you out myself. But right now, I see someone who wants to get back on the job. Or is there another reason why you haven't even touched that beer?

Penelope Garcia: [while entering the plane] How come I only get to travel with you guys only like every two years?
Derek Morgan: Trust me mama, it can get old
Penelope Garcia: Oh, right, like the way spa treatments in five star hotels can get old
Emily Prentiss: Remember the time we get onboard and they hadn't chilled the crystal?
Derek Morgan: Oh, I almost quit the BAU that day!
Penelope Garcia: Hey, you know what? You guys can joke all you like, 'cause I am never leaving this plane!


"Criminal Minds: Psychodrama (#2.4)" (2006)
Derek Morgan: [answering phone] Yeah
Penelope Garcia: Um pals, don't be ticked, but I think I may have missed the sort of glaringly obvious here. How would you make yourself taller, without being a different person entirely or having some weird sort of chinese surgery?
Elle Greenaway: Heels
Penelope Garcia: Right sunshine, but we'd have seen heels. Unless the UnSub had them hidden inside his shoe, the point is lifts.
Derek Morgan: Lifts?
Penelope Garcia: Lifts. All hidden up inside his boot, with a little fancy footwork, pun emphatically intended, Garcia here managed to dig 'em out.
Derek Morgan: Thanks girl.

[Greenaway holds out the unsubs hotel room key to Morgan]
Elle Greenaway: Key?
Derek Morgan: No, I got one.
[He kicks open the door]

[Hotchner watches a clip on his phone]
Derek Morgan: What's that?
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: My son's first steps. I was out of town. Haley sent me the file
Derek Morgan: When's been?
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: It's five month ago, I haven't loaded on it since
Derek Morgan: Okay, so you film a new one when you get home


"Criminal Minds: Open Season (#2.21)" (2007)
Emily Prentiss: It looks like they were out there for a long time before they were killed.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: At least six or seven days.
Derek Morgan: What happened in that week?
Penelope Garcia: I don't wanna to know.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Look at they way they're dressed. They didn't voluntarily go into the woods like that.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Yeah, neither did this man. Found yesterday with similar wounds. There's still no ID.
Penelope Garcia: Okay, so I'm gonna look for missing persons in Washington.
Jason Gideon: Look everywhere. We don't know where this victim came from. We only know where he ended up.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Kills both males and females.
Aaron Hotchner: Victims were found with their clothes on. No degradation, no experimentation. Doesn't look like he's interested in either.
Emily Prentiss: A serial killer with no sexual preference?
Dr. Spencer Reid: That'd be a first.
Aaron Hotchner: Broken nose, and bark's embedded in his face. Looks like he ran into a tree.
Derek Morgan: Now how do you miss a huge tree?
Aaron Hotchner: Too busy looking behind you.
Dr. Spencer Reid: None of these are defensive wounds.
Emily Prentiss: Courtney Jacobs' hands are torn up.
Derek Morgan: Shane Everett's only got one shoe on. It's like he ran out of the other one.
Aaron Hotchner: He sustained numerous injuries and just kept going.
Jason Gideon: Only one thing you run that hard for. Your life.

Ranger Lizzie Evans: How was the drive up the mountain?
Derek Morgan: Well, before or after the flat tire?
Ranger Lizzie Evans: That good, huh?

Derek Morgan: How long have you been a ranger?
Ranger Lizzie Evans: Five years now, but I've lived in these woods my whole life.
Derek Morgan: Growing up out here help you do your job?
Ranger Lizzie Evans: Look around. Do you see or hear anything right now?
Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan: No.
Ranger Lizzie Evans: There's a black bear about twenty-five yards to your right.
[Morgan and Prentiss turn and see said bear]
Emily Prentiss: [awed] How long before we're able to do that?


"Criminal Minds: Mr. & Mrs. Anderson (#9.15)" (2014)
Penelope Garcia: Okay, Valentines day: I planned everything, from dinner to desert and by desert I mean me. I texted him and tell about. He wrote back: "sounds great", octopus emoticon.
Derek Morgan: I'm not quite sure I know what that means, but I guess it is kinda sweet? What's wrong with that?
Penelope Garcia: Not you too!
Derek Morgan: Okay, Baby Girl. Did you tell him about this?
Penelope Garcia: Did I tell him? I wanted him to take charge! Not really, not at all
Derek Morgan: Okay, let me get you on a secret: guys, we don't do well on subtle clues, okay? You got to be direct, straight up. Just tell him exactly what you want!
Penelope Garcia: [sigh] I learn something from you every day!

Aaron Hotchner: But the M.E. report says neither was sexually assaulted.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's odd given the fact that 80% of crimes against women involve some sort of sexual component.
Derek Morgan: Well, it's the choking that gets him off. Some form of erotic asphyxiation filtered through a psychopath's need for power and control.

Derek Morgan: Come here, come here.
Savannah Hayes: You know, that's why I blame you.
Derek Morgan: What, me?
Savannah Hayes: Yes. One more time turned into two more times, and now there's no way we're getting a table on such short notice.
Derek Morgan: Girl, look at you. Can you blame me? But as long as I'm with you, we can go anywhere you want... Oh, wait a minute. Hello, what are you doing here?
Penelope Garcia: Oh, my God.
Savannah Hayes: Penelope?
Penelope Garcia: Wow, it is so nice to finally meet you.
Savannah Hayes: You, too.
Derek Morgan: Hey, you must be Sam.
Sam: Sam I am. I've heard a lot about you.
Derek Morgan: Oh, not guilty. Not guilty.
Penelope Garcia: Look at you guys. You're literally flawless. You're like the live-action Ken and Barbie.
Sam: So where are you guys headed?
Derek Morgan: Well, we actually had a change of plans.
Sam: Same here.
Penelope Garcia: Is what's happening right now what I think is happening right now?
Savannah Hayes: Why, I believe so.
Penelope Garcia: This is our first double date.
Sam: In that case, after you.
Savannah Hayes: All right.
Derek Morgan: And after you, sir.


"Criminal Minds: Brothers in Arms (#4.10)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: You think I don't know how bad you want this guy? I was a uniform, just like you. I saw a lot of cops go down. Before that, I watched my father get shot. He was killed doing his job, a cop's job. So don't think I don't know.

Derek Morgan: [opening quote, voiceover] "We are all brothers under the skin. And I for one would be willing to skin humanity to prove it." - Ayn Rand.

Derek Morgan: [closing quote, voiceover] "For he today who sheds his blood with me shall be my brother." - William Shakespeare.


"Criminal Minds: Somebody's Watching (#1.18)" (2006)
Lila Archer: [Lila takes a sip of Reid's soda] You don't mind sharing with me, do you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No.
[Lila takes off her robe. She is wearing a bikini underneath. Reid stares at her as she walks away]
Derek Morgan: You don't mind sharing with me, do you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Shut up!

Dr. Spencer Reid: Hey, Morgan? Has there ever been a girl that you wanted to be with for, you know, more than just one night?
Derek Morgan: Excuse me?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I've never seen you with the same girl twice.
Derek Morgan: What, are you calling me a dog?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, no, not at all. I'm just trying to figure out if this feeling I have is ever gonna go away.

Aaron Hotchner: With this unsub, we're looking at a compound profile: a Type-4 delusional assassin with an erotomanic fixation on the actress Lila Archer.
Derek Morgan: Erotomanics are a form of stalker who possess the delusional belief that another person, usually of a higher social status, is in love with them.
Elle Greenaway: In the United States, at any given time, there are over 200,000 people being stalked. Our unsub is having a fantasy love affair with Lila Archer, the way John Hinckley did with Jodie Foster.
Aaron Hotchner: Ms. Archer was not aware of her stalker until yesterday. He wasn't trying to impress her. He was more likely an unwanted, very violent guardian angel.
Jason Gideon: When the stalker feels as if they've been in some way betrayed by their love object, this often leads to violence against the target.
Dr. Spencer Reid: In the case of John Robert Bardo, when actress Rebecca Schaeffer took a role where she had to have a sexual relationship with another character, it was enough to force him to snap and seek her out to kill her.
Aaron Hotchner: Though stalkers can be either male or female, it's most likely we're looking for a single male, a loner, in his late twenties to early forties, very intelligent, with ample time to follow his victim and study her habits.
Dr. Spencer Reid: As of yet, the unsub has not directed any violence towards Ms. Archer. But he has shifted his focus from those around her to her directly.
Jason Gideon: This doesn't preclude the fact that anyone who has the vaguest association with Ms. Archer is a potential target.


"Criminal Minds: Corazon (#6.12)" (2011)
Penelope Garcia: Attention, intrepid BAU adventurers. The land of Bermuda shorts, white leisure suits, and Sansabelt slacks requests your presence.
David Rossi: Vegas?
Derek Morgan: Arizona?
Emily Prentiss: Palm Springs?
Aaron Hotchner: Please.
Penelope Garcia: I was going to say Miami, but point well made about the dizzying number of locales with unfortunate fashion tendencies. Here we go.

Derek Morgan: Hey, what's the matter with you? You've not gonna give me a bunch of facts about the area and the demographics?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The Allapattah neighborhood is named after the Native American word for alligator.
Derek Morgan: There you go. There's the kid I know.

Aaron Hotchner: Reid? Anything helpful?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah. Yeah... The Afro-Caribbean syncretic religions began when slaves mixed their traditional religions with Catholicism in order to camouflage them. The elements in this altar look to me like Santeria. It's a Yoruban-based religion developed in Cuba. Practitioners worship Orishas, deities that roughly correspond with Catholic saints.
Derek Morgan: And what about the shells?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Let's see. This is Ellegua, the deity of the crossroads, a trickster and the impartial enforcer of justice.
Ashley Seaver: So, is the UnSub sacrificing the victims to him?
Dr. Spencer Reid: None of these religions openly call for human sacrifice, only animals.


"Criminal Minds: Parasite (#5.14)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: Hey baby girl, it's me. You're on speaker.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, sug, I don't care who hears. It's always been you.

Derek Morgan: You're not enjoying this, are you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I like a good paper-trail. I find it meditative.
Derek Morgan: Is it really that hard for you to be normal just one time?

David Rossi: Con men usually don't murder, but when they do, it's to conceal their crimes.
Derek Morgan: Con man's a nice name for these guys. They profile as psychopaths.


"Criminal Minds: Demonology (#4.17)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: Rossi, don't tell me you believe in evil.
David Rossi: Don't tell me you do this job and you don't.
Derek Morgan: I believe there are evil acts, but those are choices - brain chemistry. What do you think, Hotch?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I think, deep down, we're all capable of unspeakable things. Where it starts or what you call it, I don't know.

Emily Prentiss: Hey, FBI
Officer Lundy: Seriously?
Emily Prentiss: Yeah, what can you tell us?
Officer Lundy: Eh, white male, been dead for hours, the medics say it was a brain aneurism
Derek Morgan: Mind if we take a look at the scene?
Officer Lundy: Knock yourselves out

Dr. Spencer Reid: This is kind of starting to freak me out a little bit
Derek Morgan: Let's figure out if we have a crime before we start freaking out


"Criminal Minds: Cradle to Grave (#5.5)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: What is this?
Aaron Hotchner: It's a tactical arrest plan. I'd like you to write it up for this case.
Derek Morgan: You want me to write up how we apprehend these unsubs without risking the lives of the children.
Aaron Hotchner: Yes.
Derek Morgan: [scoffs] Hotch, I've led dozens of tactical assaults. You've never made me write up one of these before.
Aaron Hotchner: That's because I always do it for you after each case.
Derek Morgan: [scoffs again] You know what? I'm sorry Strauss is coming down on you.
Aaron Hotchner: This is not about Strauss.
Derek Morgan: Really? I disagree. Look, I understand that you're under the gun. But I gotta say it. I'm really not all that surprised. I've watched you walk away from a bunch of cops gunning down unsubs in D.C., you walked in unprotected to a hostage situation in Louisville. Of course the Bureau's worried about you. Man, *I'm* worried about you. But just because you're the one who's under the magnifying glass, that doesn't mean I can't do my job.
Aaron Hotchner: Morgan, there's a big part of your job that I do for you, because I don't need you worried about paperwork and politics. I need you in the field and focused in catching the next unsub. But I can't do that anymore. I don't have to justify my orders to you, and you do have to follow them.
Derek Morgan: I've always followed your orders, when they made sense.

Penelope Garcia: Okay, know this: most adoption people are like the nicest, most dedicated people in the world. There are however real skeezy ones
Dr. Spencer Reid: How skeezy?
Penelope Garcia: Super skeezy. I've got a spreadsheet of one of them, expecting compensation for the baby I'm having
Derek Morgan: Something you want to tell me, Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: Uhm, that's the sad part, my prince. The genetically perfect offspring of Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan wouldn't fetch top dollar
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Who does?
Penelope Garcia: White babies are in higher demand than minorities. Boys are more popular than girls, at least this year anyway. And then there is the Swedish supermodel rule
Emily Prentiss: The what?
Penelope Garcia: If I were to deliver a blond haired, blue eye, bundle of joy I would set for life. I would!

Derek Morgan: JJ, I need you to call these fertility specialists and get them over here for interviews
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [Looks at the paper she got from Derek] Wow!
Derek Morgan: Yeah, I know. Hotch wants to focus on the prenatal drugs the unsub has given the victims. He thinks we can build a new suspect poolvand he wants it done yesterday
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: There's two pages of names here. Shouldn't we narrow it down?
Derek Morgan: JJ, just do it! Okay?
[JJ frowns]
Derek Morgan: I'm sorry
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Is everything okay?
Derek Morgan: Hotch has been on me ever since we got here. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why


"Criminal Minds: The Angel Maker (#4.2)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Think about who shares the exact DNA makeup of another person.
Derek Morgan: Read, you're not seriously floating around the idea of an evil twin, are you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, I'm not. I'm floating the idea of an *eviler* twin.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: This is Delilah Grennan. She was bludgeoned and raped during the night at her home in Lower Canaan, Ohio.
Emily Prentiss: Lower where?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Small town forty miles outside of Cincinnati.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Staging the body face up with the arms across the chest like that.
Derek Morgan: Ritual. Nice hair, by the way.
[Morgan flips a lock of Reid's hair into his face]
Dr. Spencer Reid: [brushing his hair back] Thanks.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Uh, there's more. Small puncture wounds on her stomach. Note the lack of blood.
Emily Prentiss: They were inflicted postmortem. Were there any other victims?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Kind of. Victimology and signature match a serial killer from the same town ten years ago. Six victims spanning over ten months. He called himself...
Aaron Hotchner: The Angel Maker. I remember the case.
Dr. Spencer Reid: They caught that guy.
David Rossi: And executed him.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: That's right. He was put to death by lethal injection a year ago yesterday.
Emily Prentiss: Yesterday.
Derek Morgan: So we're looking for a copycat.
David Rossi: Honoring the anniversary of his hero's death.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It says here they found semen at the crime scene. Perhaps locals will get a DNA match when they run it through VICAP?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Well, that's where it gets weird. They ran it already and they got a match, too.
Emily Prentiss: Well, if they already have a name, why'd they call us?
David Rossi: [reading the report] They've got to be kidding. The match they got back on the DNA is to a Cortland Bryce Ryan. Otherwise known as... the Angel Maker.

Penelope Garcia: Did you know that John Wayne Gacy painted clowns? A murdering pedophile paints clowns and people hang them on their walls. It's creepy on so many levels. I mean, clowns...
Derek Morgan: Garcia? I didn't know you had that hang up
Emily Prentiss: Coulrophobia, abnormal fear of clowns
Penelope Garcia: Oh, no, there's nothing abnormal about it. When I was 12, a hobo clown groped my breasts at a birthday party and made this old timey honking noise when he did it! Apparently making it funny, makes it okay


"Criminal Minds: Epilogue (#7.6)" (2011)
Derek Morgan: [Irritatedly] Come on, guys. Gentle lights, shadowy figures? Those are the lights in the emergency room and the doctors hovering over the patients, we all know that. No one actually sees the afterlife.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I did.
[Everyone in the room turns to look at him]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Before Tobias Hankel resuscitated me, I had that exact experience, and I wasn't in an emergency room. I was in a shed.
Derek Morgan: [More gently] Reid, you never told me that.

Jennifer Jareau: Now, that I noticed.
Derek Morgan: Is something going on?
Emily Prentiss: How did it go the other night?
Derek Morgan: What happened the other night?
Dr. Spencer Reid: You okay?
David Rossi: Well, why wouldn't I be?
Jennifer Jareau: You seem distracted.
David Rossi: I'm considering a purchase.
Derek Morgan: Come on, now, Rossi, you know we're not buying that. What's really going on?
David Rossi: Look, it was a late night with Ringo and not enough coffee. I mean, the guy's a world-class drummer, but don't think I didn't wipe the floor with him in Rock Band.
Jennifer Jareau: All right, what do you think?
Emily Prentiss: He could be telling the truth. I only played him to the easy level.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I can't tell.
David Rossi: And you never will.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Let's get started.

Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm a man of science. I didn't know how to deal with it. There's no quantifiable proof that God exists, and yet, in that moment I was faced with something that I couldn't explain. I still can't.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: What if this UnSub has had a similar experience and this is his way of looking for answers?
David Rossi: If that's the case, why kill Jake Shepherd? Why not just talk to him?
Emily Prentiss: He wanted to see if he had the same experience as before.
Jennifer Jareau: Once isn't enough?
Emily Prentiss: Not if Jake didn't see the same thing the UnSub did. He wants to know if the experience can change. I can relate to that. Reid felt a warmth and saw a light. When I coded in the ambulance, all I felt was cold and darkness. And I would like to think that there's a different future waiting for me.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You actually died?
Derek Morgan: All right, but resuscitation is hit or miss. He can't guarantee that he can actually bring anyone back, let alone that anyone will remember what happened in their moment of so-called death.
David Rossi: Reid, what's the best way to make sure his victims had an experience?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Keep them dead longer.


"Criminal Minds: Limelight (#3.13)" (2008)
Jill Morris: Great stuff guys! Keep me posted.
[walks away]
Derek Morgan: [to Reid] She does know we're not working for her, right?

Dr. Spencer Reid: I think it's only a matter of time before he grows comfortable and starts killing closer to home.
Emily Prentiss: Unfortunately that only helps us if there is a fresh kill.
Derek Morgan: So there is a woman out there right now who has to die so we can do our job.

Derek Morgan: Garcia? We need those pretty little hands of yours, mama!


"Criminal Minds: Amplification (#4.24)" (2009)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [wakes up in hospital] Are you eating jello?
Derek Morgan: Hey kid.
[to the hallway]
Derek Morgan: Hey, Doc. He's awake.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [to Morgan] Is there any *more* jello?

Dr. Spencer Reid: [entering the BAU office] Case must be local. JJ said not to bring a go bag.
Derek Morgan: What's the Army doing here?
Emily Prentiss: What the hell is going on?

Jennifer Jareau: Last night, twenty-five people checked into emergency rooms in and around Annapolis. They were all at the same park after 2 p.m. yesterday. Within ten hours, the first victim died. It's now just past 7 a.m. the next day. We have twelve dead.
Derek Morgan: Lung failure and black lesions. Anthrax?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Anthrax doesn't kill this fast.
Dr. Linda Kimura: This strain does.
Emily Prentiss: What are we doing about potential mass targets - airports, malls, trains?
Aaron Hotchner: There's a media blackout.
Emily Prentiss: We're not telling the public?
Derek Morgan: We'd have a mass exodus.
David Rossi: The psychology of group panic would cause more deaths than this last attack.


"Criminal Minds: Retaliation (#5.11)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: I get why you're back.
Aaron Hotchner: Do you?
Derek Morgan: You were never going to sit behind a desk. You know why? Because your son knows that you get the bad guys. And if you're not out there trying to catch them, what's he gonna think?
Aaron Hotchner: Well, tonight he's gonna think I wasn't there at bedtime.
Derek Morgan: You're his hero, Hotch.
[Morgan holds out some paperwork]
Derek Morgan: I, uh, figured I'd save you a couple hours.
Aaron Hotchner: You don't have to do that anymore.
Derek Morgan: I know I don't. But I also know what it's like to be raised by a single parent. Every minute counts.

Emily Prentiss: It just happened. It'll never be clearer.
Derek Morgan: How many shots did you fire?
Emily Prentiss: Three.
Derek Morgan: You emptied your clip.
Emily Prentiss: No... I did?

Aaron Hotchner: Yeah, but I want every single employee in the year that he was arrested
Penelope Garcia: Okay, give me a minute
Derek Morgan: A whole minute? Come on, baby girl. What, you're losing your touch?
Penelope Garcia: Oh, watch your pretty mouth! Personnel files are come at you now


"Criminal Minds: Identity (#3.7)" (2007)
Dr. Spencer Reid: A popular theory among leading astrophysicists estimates that the hyper-matter reactor would need about 10³² Joules of energy to destroy a planet the size of Earth. Now, Lucas said it took 19 years to build the first Death Star, right? If you look at the universal chronology, there's a tested prototype for Superlaser - where're you going?
Derek Morgan: Take back the last five minutes of my life.

[snooping in Rossi's office, in order to learn more about him]
Dr. Spencer Reid: What happened to the moratorium on inter-team profiling, guys?
Derek Morgan: Come on, Reid, team? I don't think this guy knows the meaning of the word.

[last lines]
Derek Morgan: So, what starts you to think about coming back?
David Rossi: Unfinished business.
Derek Morgan: There's one thing you'll learn about me, Rossi. I'm relentless. I'll find out.


"Criminal Minds: The Performer (#5.7)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: All right, so tell us about blood drinkers, Reid
Dr. Spencer Reid: Human blood consumption, or clinical vampirism, is known as Renfield's syndrome. Named after the, eh, insect eating character in Bram Stoker's novel Dracula
Emily Prentiss: Are they sadists?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Not necessarily. Pain to the victim is usually only a byproduct, blood is the focus. Renfield's syndrome is usually accompanied by varying levels of schizophrenia and occasionally more classic cannibalism, if the condition evolves
David Rossi: Classic cannibalism! Lovely job we have
Dr. Spencer Reid: I will say this: true cases are exceedingly rare
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Uh, that's comforting. Sort of

Derek Morgan: Garcia, all these people drink blood?
Penelope Garcia: Au contraire. They mostly just dress up like Prentiss did in high school and they make believe. It's all kinds of delicious
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's not the same thing at all. As a matter of fact, I... I... we should refer to this unsub as vampirist, not a vampire. And they would be attracted to the subculture merely for it's professed worship of blood

Derek Morgan: Okay, we need to talk to this Dante guy
Emily Prentiss: Garcia, can you get us an address?
Lt. Detective Owen Kim: Eh, that's gonna take a little while. These celebrities are protected by layers of privacy. It's like finding information on a deeply...
Penelope Garcia: 22423 Greenvale Circle, Holmby Hills. GPS coordinates are uploading to you now. And his name is Paul Davies, by the way
Emily Prentiss: Run him for a criminal record too
Penelope Garcia: You got it
Emily Prentiss: Thanks, PG.
Lt. Detective Owen Kim: I'd hate to think what she could find out about me
Emily Prentiss: Oh, I prefer not even to consider it!


"Criminal Minds: Normal (#4.11)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: [while holding JJ's baby] What's he doing? He's smiling at Derek Morgan.
Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia: [Together] Gas!

Jordan Todd: This is Orange County, California. Ten days ago, Judy Hannity, a real estate worker and a mother, was shotgunned on the 91 freeway.
Emily Prentiss: She survived this?
Jordan Todd: Barely. She's paralyzed from the waist down. The second and third victims were both DOA. There were different vehicles for each shooting. A small black SUV, a black sedan, a white sedan. No makes, no plates.
Derek Morgan: No solid witnesses?
Jordan Todd: The first victim described the shooter as a normal, middle-aged white guy in an SUV.
Aaron Hotchner: She gave that description but she couldn't remember anything else?
Jordan Todd: Isn't that consistent with trauma?
Emily Prentiss: Uh, actually, no. Trauma victims either remember everything or nothing.

Penelope Garcia: Give it to me
Derek Morgan: Hey Baby, can you pull up a map of the crime scene area for me?
Penelope Garcia: Sugar, I could shut down the power grid of the whole city if you told me to


"Criminal Minds: A Family Affair (#7.16)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] Eckhart Tolle said, "Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath."

[Garcia, JJ, and Prentiss are hung over after a night of salsa dancing]
Derek Morgan: What did you guys drink last night?
Penelope Garcia: The green fairy. You're in the FBI; could you get the entire crowd to stop cheering?

Derek Morgan: So, he parks in the road and then carries the body... What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: 52.6 yards.
Derek Morgan: Uphill. So, he's got to be in great shape.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, more often than not, prostitutes are murdered and dumped in the same area that they work.
Derek Morgan: So, then, why take the time to drive the extra 40 miles outside the city?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe he's already up here. He picks them up downtown, takes them to a secondary location, kills them, and gets rid of the body as fast as possible.
Derek Morgan: Which means he lives nearby, in the suburbs.
Dr. Spencer Reid: With 76,728 other people.


"Criminal Minds: Poison (#1.13)" (2006)
Jason Gideon: We know there are four types of poisoners who target multiple victims.
Aaron Hotchner: There's the true believer, the political terrorist/religious cult.
Derek Morgan: There's the extortionist, product tamperer who holds a business hostage in exchange for money.
Elle Greenaway: Or the prankster, usually a younger offender who doesn't mean any harm and it's basically just a big practical joke.
Aaron Hotchner: And the avenger. Someone with a personal vendetta who choses poison as their weapon.
Jason Gideon: So we need to find out as quickly as possible which type he is, 'cause with the exception of the prankster, all these types commonly test their poison on a small scale before carrying out a larger attack.
Derek Morgan: Well, let's hope this was just a prank.

Aaron Hotchner: We believe whoever poisoned these people was motivated by revenge.
Derek Morgan: The randomness of the victimology, average people in an average-sized town, all points to a local resident.
Elle Greenaway: We know that people who poison for the purpose of revenge primarily act alone.
Aaron Hotchner: However, he may have manipulated someone close to him to assist him. The unsub usually disposes of these accomplices when they are of no further use to him.
Elle Greenaway: The unsub is likely a cautious, deliberate, and highly functioning male between the ages of 35 and 50.
Aaron Hotchner: He chose LSD for a reason. LSD is about altering perception. We think that this unsub is striking out because he feels that's he's been inaccurately perceived by the community, or a subset of it.
Derek Morgan: He feels that these attacks will affect and alter a reality that he is caught in, that he perceives to be unjust.
Aaron Hotchner: He's so self-centered, he believes his victims will know the reason for the attack and who did it.
Dr. Spencer Reid: This individual was savvy enough to use Rohypnol to obstruct our investigation, erasing the memories of the victims of how they were poisoned.
Detective Hanover: Hold on. If this guy believes that his victims know who he is, why is he covering his tracks?
Jason Gideon: Because these victims aren't his primary targets.
Aaron Hotchner: We... we know from precedent that this kind of offender, the avenger, tests his weapon first. This attack was a test run.
Detective Hanover: A test run for what?
Aaron Hotchner: We don't know yet. What we do know is this is not the first time he's aired his grievances. While it's not likely that he has a criminal record, it is possible that he has filed criminal charges, or pursued a civil action against his perceived adversaries. And now, to measure the results of his test, he's watching.
Jason Gideon: And he wants to see the results of his test. Once he has them, all those years of pent-up rage will be unleashed in the form of a larger attack. Profile indicates a lot of people could die.

Derek Morgan: Wait a minute! What if it's not the profile that's wrong, but the target?
Elle Greenaway: Not this cafe
Derek Morgan: Just because a bunch of victims came to eat here, doesn't necessarily mean that they get poisoned here


"Criminal Minds: Memoriam (#4.7)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [walks into his hotel room with a box, surprised to see Rossi and Morgan there] What are you guys doing here?
Derek Morgan: Hey. What's it look like we're doing?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, breaking into my room and watching Days of Our Lives.
David Rossi: The Young and the Restless.

Derek Morgan: [to Reid and Rossi] It's Garcia.
[answers phone]
Derek Morgan: Yeah, talk to me baby girl.
Penelope Garcia: I'm not interrupting boy time a Crazy Horse 2 am I?
Derek Morgan: You know that's not my thing. I'm more for in room entertainment.
Penelope Garcia: Well, I can't help you there. But I do give good phone.

David Rossi: [to Reid] Before we go down this road, you need to be sure
Derek Morgan: He's right. Some rocks don't need looking under


"Criminal Minds: Mayhem (#4.1)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: I'm your ride.
Aaron Hotchner: I thought Agent Davis was driving me.
Derek Morgan: She was. I had her re-assigned.
Aaron Hotchner: Don't you have something better to do?
Derek Morgan: Than to annoy you for three hours? Hell no.

Penelope Garcia: Morgan?
Derek Morgan: Yeah, Baby
Penelope Garcia: You sound stressed
Derek Morgan: Do I?
Penelope Garcia: Where are you?
Penelope Garcia: Not where I want to be right now

Derek Morgan: There's something I really want you to know, Garcia.
Penelope Garcia: Save it. Just get out.
Derek Morgan: No, no, no. I'm not quite there yet.
Penelope Garcia: Morgan...
Derek Morgan: Just listen to me.
Penelope Garcia: Morgan, please.
Derek Morgan: You know what you are, Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: Morgan!
[Ambulance explodes]
Penelope Garcia: Derek?
Derek Morgan: Garcia? I'll tell you what you are to me. You're my God-given solace. Woman, you promise me one thing - whatever happens... don't you ever stop talking to me.
Penelope Garcia: I can't right now 'cause I'm mad at you.
Derek Morgan: I can wait.


"Criminal Minds: Lessons Learned (#2.10)" (2006)
Derek Morgan: [the team has two days to break a detained terrorist] We have two days to do what the CIA hasn't managed in two months?
Jason Gideon: We could be looking at the first attack on our soil since 9/11.

Penelope Garcia: Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up!
Derek Morgan: Yeah, it's Morgan. Hello...? Garcia, can you hear me?
Penelope Garcia: We saw the explosion on TV!
Derek Morgan: Yeah, I know. We lost a SWAT agent
Penelope Garcia: Oh God!
Derek Morgan: Don't worry; don't think you're gonna get rid of me that easy
Penelope Garcia: Do you need anything?
Derek Morgan: I'd know who to call, thanks Baby Girl!

Derek Morgan: What's going with you? You look like you've seen a ghost back there
Aaron Hotchner: Haley is supposed to take Jack to the new mall to have his portrait taken
Derek Morgan: Go ahead and call her!
Aaron Hotchner: It's a breach of security!
Derek Morgan: You lose Haley and Jack, screw this job! You won't have a life!
Aaron Hotchner: [dials... ] I can't reach her!


"Criminal Minds: The Bittersweet Science (#7.10)" (2011)
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia, I need all the information you can find me on the Philadelphia boxing scene.
Penelope Garcia: Well, let's see. There's *Rocky I* through *V*. And let's not forget about the last one.
Derek Morgan: Penelope.

Derek Morgan: Penelope, how's the greatest computer tech this side of the Mississippi?
Penelope Garcia: Floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee, Garcia's gonna find what only her screens can see. What do you need, baby?

Jack: Tony will work with anyone, those coming up, those going down
Jennifer Jareau: We need a list of names
Derek Morgan: Tony training tomato cans?
[JJ looks puzzled]
Derek Morgan: Professional guys that loose all the time


"Criminal Minds: Fatal (#9.22)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: Hey baby girl, I need you to work that magic of yours
Penelope Garcia: Rub my lamp, release the Genie

Dr. Spencer Reid: These pieces of twine are all different length
Derek Morgan: And you're just figuring that out?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I think it's by design! Starting with the first victim, the lengths are 25, 15, 12 and 19 inches
Derek Morgan: Yeah, so what?
Dr. Spencer Reid: If you convert inches to centimeters, you'll have a 64, 38, 31 and 48, the exact ages of all four victims! I think I know what this is about!

Dr. Spencer Reid: Detective, can you make the surveillance videos go any faster?
Detective Jimmy Tavez: How much speed do you want?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Go back to the beginning; I'll watch all 5 weeks in the video
Detective Jimmy Tavez: But that's...
Dr. Spencer Reid: 525 hours
Detective Jimmy Tavez: Yeah, we don't have time for that
Derek Morgan: Reid, tell him what you did this morning for breakfast
Dr. Spencer Reid: I read "War and Peace". Reread it actually, this time in original Russian
Derek Morgan: Trust me detective, there is enough time!


"Criminal Minds: Public Enemy (#5.15)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: [reviewing the case file] Aside from m.o., victimology's all over the place. It's like this guy doesn't care who he's killing, just how.
David Rossi: And he's doing it in public without compunction for who sees him.
Aaron Hotchner: Do we have a sketch?
Jennifer Jareau: All anyone can agree on is that it's a white male between 25 and 40.
Emily Prentiss: Well, that narrows it down to all of Providence.
David Rossi: Hard to fault the witnesses, given how bloody these murders must be.
Derek Morgan: What bothers me is the cooling-off period is getting shorter and shorter, but no attempt to hide who he is or what he's doing. I mean, an unsub this bold could be suffering from a major psychotic break.
Jennifer Jareau: I already asked Detective Moreland to pull recent releases on prisons and mental hospitals.
Aaron Hotchner: We need to get to Providence ASAP. Whether he's suffering a psychotic break or not, this could be the start of a spree.
David Rossi: And anyone is a potential target.

Aaron Hotchner: We suggest that you think of this unsub not as a slasher but as an arsonist. Because the gratification he's getting isn't from the physical act of murder, but from the public's reaction to it.
Emily Prentiss: Arsonists draw attention to themselves through the fires they set. The locations they choose are highly symbolic to them. While this unsub will never set an actual fire, he has the same psychosis as one who does.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Our unsub fits that model. His locations have been pillars of the community. The victims he picks aren't as important as the effect of killing them outside of your favorite restaurant or place of worship.
Derek Morgan: By picking locales with the highest visibility, he's creating the highest level of fear in that neighborhood, which reinforces his feeling of power.
Detective Jake Moreland: Yeah, but arsonists don't set out to hurt people. This guy clearly does.
Derek Morgan: That's true. And this unsub definitely falls in the category of sociopath.
Emily Prentiss: His victims are there only to achieve his goal. He doesn't have the ability to empathize with them. To him, they're just... tools for him to use, no different than a can of gasoline and a match.
David Rossi: But even how he kills tells us something. Slashing a throat is a messy, visual act. It's designed to create attention, just like a fire.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Arsonists are often mission based. They need to make sure their first fire has burnt out before they set another one. They're also highly disciplined and focused. If conditions aren't right to set a fire or, in this case, slash a throat, they'll move on.
Aaron Hotchner: In addition to his need to kill, he has self-control. He has a short cooling off period because he's enjoying what he's doing. This in turn feeds his ego and keeps him covering his tracks.
David Rossi: This makes him even more dangerous. If he gets frustrated, encounters too many obstacles, or suffers a blow to his narcissistic ego, he could go on an all-out rampage.


"Criminal Minds: Hanley Waters (#6.20)" (2011)
Derek Morgan: [voiceover] poet Antonio Porchia wrote, "Man, when he does not grieve, hardly exists."

Aaron Hotchner: The assessment's routine. I asked her to let me do it rather than bring in somebody from the outside.
Derek Morgan: So, let me guess, it's about the five stages of grief. You want to figure out where we all are. All right. Denial. I'm fine, this can't be happening to me. Well, it didn't happen to me, did it? So, that rules that out. What else is there? Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Well, obviously I haven't accepted it, otherwise I wouldn't be in here. So, where does that leave me?
Aaron Hotchner: Angry.
Derek Morgan: Angry. Yeah. Yes, sometimes I feel like I want to quit my job and spend my time chasing down the son of a bitch who killed Emily. You're damn right, I'm angry.


"Criminal Minds: Derek (#11.16)" (2016)
Hank Morgan: When you're in the field, what do you rely on?
Derek Morgan: My training, instinct
Hank Morgan: And?
Derek Morgan: My team! The one I really need isn't here!
Penelope Garcia: [Suddenly present] Hey there! What? All you had to do was ask. Hold on. Oops. Hi
[to Hank]
Penelope Garcia: Let's go
Derek Morgan: He was giving me a name and a serial number
Hank Morgan: Military training
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, but that combination of letters and numbers isn't in my database. My database being your brain

Derek Morgan: I'm scared pap! I can't feel anything! Pap, I'm scared
Hank Morgan: Dying is easy. You know what's hard? Not being there for your son


"Criminal Minds: Soul Mates (#4.12)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: [closing quotation, voiceover] British historian C. Northcote Parkinson said "Delay is the deadliest form of denial."

Dr. Spencer Reid: [about William's correspondence with his accomplice] One side of the discourse made a reference to the Devil's Strip.
Detective Linden: What the hell's that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, it's a small patch of grass that separates the sidewalk from the street. Now, that term is only used in central Ohio. William lived in Atlanta for twenty years, but he grew up in Columbus. The other guy uses words like "turnpike" and "filling the gas tank", both specific regionalisms for Florida.
Derek Morgan: Kid, you sure about this?
[Reid gives Morgan an "are you serious?" look]
Derek Morgan: Right.


"Criminal Minds: Awake (#11.8)" (2015)
Derek Morgan: [Making himself some coffee] Hey, did you want a cup?
[JJ moans]
Derek Morgan: Oh! Right, right without the whole, uhm... Yeah JJ:
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, I'm still nursing. That's okay, only 45 days, 3 hours and 6 minutes left, but who's counting?
Derek Morgan: You're really not messing around
Jennifer Jareau: No, you don't stand between a woman and her caffeine
Derek Morgan: Well, listen when your sentence is up, first cup's on me
Jennifer Jareau: Deal

Jennifer Jareau: [Yawns] Oh, I'm sorry
Derek Morgan: Wow, kids really are game changers, aren't they?
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, how is it that I wake up more exhausted than when I went to bed?
Derek Morgan: Why don't you try to get some shut-eye before we land?
Jennifer Jareau: Oh, trust me, I tried! It's not happening
[looks at her phone]
Derek Morgan: Hey Rossi, I remember Reid told me once, eh, I think it went something like this:
[mimics Reid]
Derek Morgan: "Hey Morgan, you know electronics, they emit a sleep depriving type of blue light that prevent you from falling asleep at night"
David Rossi: Yeah, I remember that. Actually it was more like, uhm
[mimics Reid]
David Rossi: "Studies show that we need between 7 and 9 hours of sleep a night"
[Both chuckle; they look at JJ who fell asleep]
David Rossi: Works like a charm!


"Criminal Minds: Strange Fruit (#9.9)" (2013)
David Rossi: Look...
Derek Morgan: You don't have to explain, man.
David Rossi: No, you don't understand.
Derek Morgan: A locker? Really? You took a leak on the guy?
David Rossi: I was working him, Derek... But I'd like you to do something for me.

Charles Johnson: Ooh... okay. Send the black guy in. I was wondering when they were gonna play that card. Attention all FBI employees, will the one negro in the building, please, get to the sixth floor.
Derek Morgan: You finished?
Charles Johnson: But then again... You're not fully black... are you? Well, that's okay. They say even one drop counts.


"Criminal Minds: Zugzwang (#8.12)" (2013)
Diane Turner: [to Reid] Excuse me, Doctor. Agent Hotchner said he was done with me upstairs. Can you tell me what's going on?
Derek Morgan: We'll be in touch, ma'am. Thank you.

Derek Morgan: All right, kid. Talk to me. I can tell you're having something up in your head. What is it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: 2,412. That's the number of hours we spent communicating, counting phone calls and letters.
Derek Morgan: All right, that's about a hundred days.
Dr. Spencer Reid: 100.5. What if that's all I get?
Derek Morgan: Well, it's not.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You can't say that.
Derek Morgan: Yes, I can. 'Cause when we find her alive, and you finally get to lay your eyes on her, what's the first thing you're gonna say to her?
Dr. Spencer Reid: A couple of months ago, we were getting off the phone and... and she said "Bye. Love you". Just like that, "bye, love you." I know it was just a slip, but...
Derek Morgan: But she said it, Reid. She said it. You didn't say it back to her, did you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I was waiting for when we finally met.


"Criminal Minds: Hope (#7.8)" (2011)
Derek Morgan: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, Where do you think you're going?
Penelope Garcia: I'm going with you.
Derek Morgan: No, that can't happen. It could be way too dangerous.
Penelope Garcia: Okay, either you let me go with you or you're going to have to forcibly remove me from the SUV. Your choice.

Penelope Garcia: Bill, I know the pain you feel. I get you. I know. I heard you talk about it in group.
Bill Rogers: Why doesn't Monica understand that?
Penelope Garcia: Bill, I just think she needs more time to understand it.
Monica Kingston: What? What?
Penelope Garcia: Listen, Bill. I know all you've ever wanted was just somebody to love. You were trapped inside a cocoon just waiting for somebody to set you free.
Bill Rogers: Hope made me feel... For the first time in my life, I felt love.
Monica Kingston: She was my baby!
Penelope Garcia: You brought Monica here because you're heartbroken. And you're desperate to recreate what you lost with Hope.
Monica Kingston: I lost my child!
Penelope Garcia: Bill, you need to tell her. You can do this, okay? You need to let her know why this is all happening. You need to tell her. You can do this.
Monica Kingston: Say something. Say something!
Bill Rogers: Our baby...
Monica Kingston: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, my baby.
Bill Rogers: Hope was pregnant.
Derek Morgan: Bill, drop the gun.
Penelope Garcia: Do what he says.
Derek Morgan: Drop it. Now.
Penelope Garcia: It's okay, Bill.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Nice and easy.
Derek Morgan: [Bill drops the gun] Now put your hands where I can see them.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Slowly step away from Monica.
Derek Morgan: Easy...
[Monica takes the gun]
Penelope Garcia: Monica!
[Monica shoots Bill]


"Criminal Minds: Bully (#9.11)" (2013)
Jennifer Jareau: Everybody's grieves in their own way. You can't be mad at her for going internal.
Derek Morgan: I'm not mad at all, I just... thought she might say something.

Detective Scott Miller: Hello?
Damon Miller: You're late.
Alex Blake: Like... what... five minutes.
Damon Miller: You're still late.
Detective Scott Miller: Hey Pop.
Damon Miller: How's the melon?
Detective Scott Miller: It's all right. It's fine.
Damon Miller: Uh, you two made up, didn't you? Yeah, I figured... been doing that since you were kids. Fight like cats and dogs, then forget about it 10 minutes later. Used to drive your mother crazy. Then she'd drive me crazy.
Detective Scott Miller: Hey, Pop, you know she got shot?
Alex Blake: Oh, that's great.
Detective Scott Miller: Well...
Damon Miller: Yeah, I heard.
Alex Blake: You heard?
Penelope Garcia: Mr. Miller? We need more ice.
Damon Miller: Help yourself.
Penelope Garcia: Hey, what's up?... You must be Scott. I'm Penelope.
Detective Scott Miller: Hi.
Alex Blake: What are you doing here?
Damon Miller: I invited them.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. It's only a two-and-a-half-hour flight. When I hear Kansas City barbecue, I come a runnin', for the sides and the fixings. I'm a vegetarian.
Alex Blake: What do you mean, them?
[comes out to the garden]
Alex Blake: Oh, you're all here. My words are colliding.
Aaron Hotchner: And your dad promised ribs.
Derek Morgan: And your pops is no joke on this grill.
Damon Miller: Can't celebrate unless the whole family's here.
Alex Blake: I can't argue with that.


"Criminal Minds: Distress (#2.17)" (2007)
[Morgan has just telephoned Garcia from Houston, Texas]
Penelope Garcia: Are you lonely in the Lone Star State? And are you wearing chaps?
Derek Morgan: [laughing] Only in your dreams, Garcia.
Penelope Garcia: [laughing] Oh, not necessarily. I have Photoshop.

[They are next to an open manhole where a murder occurred]
Jason Gideon: Someone has to go down
Derek Morgan: Ah, see, this ain't cool!
[Prepares to descent]
Derek Morgan: I putting in for hazard pay
Jason Gideon: Good luck with that!


"Criminal Minds: Compromising Positions (#6.4)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: You know what your only mistake has been since you started?
Penelope Garcia: Oh, hooray. More criticism.
Derek Morgan: You are trying to replace J.J. Nobody can replace J.J. Now, take the other one out, too.
Penelope Garcia: I'm not trying to replace her. I'm... I'm trying to do this job the way she'd want it done.
Derek Morgan: You know what J.J. would want? She'd want you to find a way to do this job on your own terms. Play to your strengths.
Penelope Garcia: Okay, all my exstensive knowledge of operating systems and internet protocol is not really gonna help me out here.
Derek Morgan: That's not what I'm talking about.
Penelope Garcia: What are you talking about?
Derek Morgan: You need to go O.G. Original Garcia.
Penelope Garcia: Derek Morgan, I'm a little blind right now, but it appears the rough blur that is you just threw out my only pair of contact lenses.
Derek Morgan: [putting Garcia's glasses back on her face] There she is. I know you.
[Morgan gives Garcia a teasing wave]
Penelope Garcia: How often do I tell you I love you?
Derek Morgan: Every day. It's implied.

Derek Morgan: Well, look at you, look at you.
Penelope Garcia: Meet your new communications liaison. Trial communications liaison.
David Rossi: Garcia, I don't get to say this often, but I had no idea there was this side of you.
Penelope Garcia: Well, I figured since I'm gonna have to interact with the mass populace, I should dress in the traditional costume of a mere mortal.
[Garcia widens her eyes]
Derek Morgan: What's wrong?
Penelope Garcia: It's my contact. It keeps getting weird and... There it goes... No. Yes. No.


"Criminal Minds: Revelations (#2.15)" (2007)
Derek Morgan: This guy sits here for days and just watches these people, and he waits for them to commit a sin.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, but Reid's completely innocent.
Derek Morgan: But if you dig deep enough in any of us, we all have our sins.
[Nervously]
Derek Morgan: Including Reid.

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Everybody, right now, what's my worst quality?
[nobody answers]
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Okay, I'll start. I have no sense of humor.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You're a bully.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I'm a bully.
Derek Morgan: You can be a drill sergeant sometimes.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Right.
Emily Prentiss: You don't trust women as much as men.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Okay, good. I'm all of these things. But none of you said that I ever put myself above the team, because I don't, ever. Reid and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism, and he knew that I would remember that. And he also quoted Genesis chapter 23, verse 4. Read it.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: "I am a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead out of my sight."
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: He wouldn't get it wrong unless it was on purpose.


"Criminal Minds: The Gathering (#8.17)" (2013)
Derek Morgan: Any witnesses?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, sort of. Nicole was last seen at the restaurant with her boyfriend, John Butler. They had some sort of icky spat
David Rossi: Then he's on the short list!
Penelope Garcia: No, he isn't. He actually has a solid alibi, uh... liquid. He was drinking at the bar all night

David Rossi: Anything?
Derek Morgan: Well, these women practically lived online. Their posts went up 5, 6 times an hour
Derek Morgan: [Reads a post] "Brian used his own toilet for the first time today"
Alex Blake: Ah, cut her some slack, she's excited her son is potty trained!
David Rossi: Brian is her Cocker Spaniel!


"Criminal Minds: A Shade of Gray (#4.21)" (2009)
Capt. Lancaster: [about his family dying in a car accident] I spent my life on the streets. And I couldn't be there for them. Every day, I wonder why it wasn't me in that car... and why I have to live every single day without them. You know, when Dan called, I thought... maybe this is it. Maybe I'm suffering so he doesn't have to.
Derek Morgan: Your kids died in an accident. Nobody can make sense of that. This family, your friends, they lost both kids the minute Danny killed Kyle.

David Rossi: You know what we're looking at: 99% of abducted children are killed in the first 24 hours
Capt. Lancaster: I know. I'm gonna check on them
[Walks away]
David Rossi: We saw the pictures, we know what this guy does to little boys
Derek Morgan: Rossi, Kyle Murphy might be the 1% that makes it
David Rossi: Could take a miracle
Derek Morgan: For his sake, let's hope we get one


"Criminal Minds: A Place at the Table (#10.20)" (2015)
Derek Morgan: His name is Ezra Warren, he's 23 years old, works as a waiter in DC. He's got a clean record
David Rossi: So, except for being covered in blood at the scene of a mass murder, just your average Joe.

Derek Morgan: You know, this is beginning to remind me of clue: Colonel Mustard in the billiard room with the candlestick


"Criminal Minds: Zoe's Reprise (#4.15)" (2009)
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Victim one, Travis Bartlett, was last seen at a gay bar. He was shot at night in a park. Victim two, Lily Nicks, a thirty-four year old prostitute, her throat was slashed. Victims three and four, June Appleby and Troy Wertsler, were shot in their car at a parking lot outside of a movie theater. And victim five was a twenty-eight year old single woman, Kayla James, killed in her home. She was bound, suffocated with a bag over her head, evidence of rape.
Emily Prentiss: And then the sixth victim was Zoe.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Victimology, weapons used, and C.O.D. are all different. I mean, it's hard to imagine it's even the same unsub.
David Rossi: It can't be a coincidence that Zoe goes to Kayla James' house and gets murdered.
Aaron Hotchner: All right, let's say it is the same killer. Does anybody see a pattern?
Emily Prentiss: Well, maybe. Okay, in the first crime, he shoots the victim. The second crime, he rapes a woman and slashes her throat; that's more personal. And the third crime, he escalates to killing two people, and the fourth, he escalates even more by raping a woman, binding her, and suffocating her.
Aaron Hotchner: So if it is the same unsub, you could argue that there's a progression of violence with every kill.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It could be an anger excitation offender getting more daring with each crime.
Derek Morgan: I think I got something here. Look at this. The slashes in the prostitute's throat, they're all shallow, unsure cuts. The Kayla James crime scene, telephone cord, rope, and duct tape were used. It's like he couldn't decide how to bind her.
Aaron Hotchner: So without a gun, he's sloppy, inexperienced.
Derek Morgan: The young couple shot in the car... that crime scene remind you of anything?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, they were shot with a .44 Bulldog, just like the Son of Sam used on his victims, which were also young couples in parked cars. It might be nothing, but you're right, there is a parallel there.
Emily Prentiss: With the second victim, it's hard not to think of Jack the Ripper. The obvious similarity being it's a prostitute whose throat was slashed.
Aaron Hotchner: Kayla James was bound, tortured, raped, with a plastic bag over her head, like BTK.
Derek Morgan: What about victim number one?
David Rossi: Garcia, what neighborhood was he found in?
Penelope Garcia: At a park in the Kingsbury Run area.
David Rossi: Zoe reminded me last night that Cleveland's most famous serial killer was the Butcher of Kingsbury Run. He found his victims in gay bars, shot them, and dumped their body there. Travis Bartlett was last seen at a gay bar, and his body was found in Kingsbury Park.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So these are copycats of famous serial killers?
David Rossi: He's a serial killer studying serial killers.
Aaron Hotchner: See you in Cleveland, Dave.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [Showing pictures] This is Henry wearing booties my mom knitted him
Penelope Garcia: I can't get over his cuteness
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [Giggles] Oh, and this is him wearing the customized leather jacket aunty Penelope got him
Penelope Garcia: When he grows up he's gonna be a rebel!
[Phone rings]
Penelope Garcia: Is this David Rossi, the famous bestselling author David Rossi?
Derek Morgan: What you're doing? You're not supposed to call when you're on annual leave
David Rossi: I think my AL just ended


"Criminal Minds: The Forever People (#10.11)" (2015)
Aaron Hotchner: How many boats are there on Lake Mead?
Dr. Spencer Reid: 1908
Kate Callahan: Come on! You just know that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, there are 1908 boats on Lake Mead
Kate Callahan: Where did you get that number?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Based on the population density of the area, I estimated
Kate Callahan: You guessed! I mean: is this guy really a genius or does he just says things with authority and we all believe him?
Derek Morgan: Oh wow, thank you! Ten years! It took ten years for someone to finally have my back. Alright Einstein, she just called you out, bring it!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Look it up!
David Rossi: I am... And the kid's right!
Derek Morgan: Ah
Dr. Spencer Reid: [to Kate] I accept your apology.
[to Derek]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Load up
Derek Morgan: Never!
Aaron Hotchner: [Hotch secretly loads up with Reid]

Penelope Garcia: All this talk of cold makes me cold. Is that weird?
Derek Morgan: Nothing weird about that, Baby Girl!


"Criminal Minds: Bloodline (#4.13)" (2009)
[Morgan and Garcia are speaking to each other on the telephone. Morgan has placed her on speaker phone so that the other investigators in the room can hear Garcia's information]
Penelope Garcia: Hiya, baby.
Derek Morgan: Hey baby girl. We need to talk.
Penelope Garcia: PG or NC17?
Derek Morgan: You're on speaker phone.
Penelope Garcia: I charge extra for groups.

David Rossi: Jorden was right, you know, on the plane
Derek Morgan: What you're talking about?
David Rossi: We hide behind language. We don't talk about the ugliness we see
Derek Morgan: Rossi, we talk about it every day
David Rossi: No, we talk facts, signature, MO, pathology
Derek Morgan: What you're getting at?
David Rossi: We're working a case were a family is grooming their son to kill. They're not just murdering people, they're stealing children, poisoning minds. Where's the horror?
Derek Morgan: We can't do this job if we let it get to us
David Rossi: Exactly


"Criminal Minds: Roadkill (#4.23)" (2009)
Emily Prentiss: I think it's safe to assume our unsub is male
Aaron Hotchner: I agree with you, given what we know about aggressive driving and road rage
Emily Prentiss: And the fact that men have an unnatural bond with their cars
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: That is true!
Derek Morgan: Wait a minute, I don't know about unnatural
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I once dated a guy who washed his car more than he washed his hair
David Rossi: A nice car needs love
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: And a woman doesn't?
David Rossi: Uh, I'm not qualified to answer that

Detective Quinn: I can start a list from DMV matching what we've got
Derek Morgan: A list like that's gonna kill a lot of trees


"Criminal Minds: House on Fire (#4.19)" (2009)
David Rossi: [about a serial arsonist] Whoever set these went from no victims to thirty-one in less than two weeks. That's a hell of an escalation.
Emily Prentiss: Why didn't they call us in sooner?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: The local police and fire department knew they were dealing with an arsonist, but they had no idea he'd become a killer.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Most arsonists don't. They just like setting fires; any deaths that occur are almost always accidental.
Derek Morgan: Thirty-one victims is not an accident.
Aaron Hotchner: Police chief knows he made a mistake. And he learned the hard way that even though not all arsonists are killers, they do have one thing in common: once they start, they can't stop.

Derek Morgan: The bar matches his previous locations. It's another local hot spot.
David Rossi: Only five victims this time. Why lower the body count?
Derek Morgan: [pointing to a chain on the bar door] Rossi. There's something else that's different.
David Rossi: The front and back?
Derek Morgan: He really wanted to make sure nobody got out this time.
David Rossi: But why bother? No one made it out of the other ones.
Derek Morgan: Maybe he knew the fire department would show up sooner.
Fire Captain Danny Wales: Yeah, we're faster now. Practice makes perfect. What the hell difference does it make? And what good are you guys doing us? You see chains, figure he didn't want anyone to get out? I could have told you that.
David Rossi: We're not criticizing anyone. Our job is to look at the same things you do, but to try and see them from a different perspective.
Fire Captain Danny Wales: Sure.
Derek Morgan: Look, all due respect, captain, but you look at that chain and you say the killer wanted to make sure nobody got out, right? Well, we look at that chain and we see a little more. That chain is different than the first two fires. Now, either we're looking at an entirely new arsonist, or this unsub wanted to make absolutely certain that nobody got out. Now if this is true, that means something changed. Maybe his emotions changed. Maybe his agenda, but something. See, this chain tell us this is the fire that matters. This fire is gonna help us catch this guy.


"Criminal Minds: Unknown Subject (#7.12)" (2012)
Jennifer Jareau: Evanescence, Linkin Park, and Nickelback.
Derek Morgan: So Herman Scobie's into that nu-metal goth stuff.
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, and his tramp stamp probably spells out *Massengill*. This guy doesn't ever have any Rage Against The Machine. I rock.
Dr. Spencer Reid: How old were you when you started listening to that band?
Jennifer Jareau: I was probably a teenager. Why?
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, 14 is when we start to make our own musical choices. Our cognitive development evolves at that age and we start to form our own cultural identity.
Derek Morgan: We stop listening to the music that our parents put on and we start listening to the music that our friends listen to.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And those musical experiences imprint on us. Our hormonal surges as teenagers may make the choices seem more personal and passionate. And later on in life we might experiment with other musical selections, but no music ever impacts us as much as that which we listen to at age 14.
Jennifer Jareau: Herman Scobie's what, 30?
Derek Morgan: If that.
Jennifer Jareau: Okay, so mid to late '90s is when he started to take music seriously, stuff like this.
Derek Morgan: And the Piano Man's songs were all early '80s.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Which means the signature doesn't fit. Herman Scobie's too young to be the Piano Man.

Jennifer Jareau: They wake up with no memory of the assault or how they got the permanent scar the wire leaves.
Emily Prentiss: So he's branding his victims. How does he dose them?
Penelope Garcia: Houston PD still isn't sure. 'Cause, you know, date rape drugs metabolize quickly, and he's keeping them for twelve hours.
Derek Morgan: So why are they calling us in now?
Penelope Garcia: 'Cause with these most recent attacks, this piece of work has elevated sick and twisted to a whole new dimension.


"Criminal Minds: The Big Game (#2.14)" (2007)
Emily Prentiss: Hey Morgan, be careful, the one in the back can take your wallet!
Derek Morgan: That's alright; I'll be a broke, happy man!

Derek Morgan: [picks up his cell phone] Yeah, talk to me, Baby Girl
Penelope Garcia: Are you at the crime scene?
Derek Morgan: Yeah
Penelope Garcia: Is there like a... a burgundy settee against one wall?
Derek Morgan: Uhm, if a settee is a low couch


"Criminal Minds: What Happens in Mecklinburg... (#9.21)" (2014)
Savannah Hayes: Dinner was great last night
Derek Morgan: Desert was better
Savannah Hayes: So, how'd you sleep?
Derek Morgan: Like a rock
Savannah Hayes: Sounded like it. All that snoring
Derek Morgan: Whoa, wait! Hey, hey, hey, I do not snore
Savannah Hayes: [giggles] Oh, then I must have a Grizzly bear living under my bed

Derek Morgan: I'll drive
Savannah Hayes: Uhm... no way!
Derek Morgan: What? What do you mean?
Savannah Hayes: I have seen you driving! I'm driving
Derek Morgan: Oh, so, this is how it's gonna be?
Savannah Hayes: Yep, get used to it


"Criminal Minds: L.D.S.K. (#1.6)" (2005)
Derek Morgan: Hey Reid, you okay?
[Reid gives Morgan back his whistle]
Derek Morgan: Touche', kid!

[Answering his cellphone]
Derek Morgan: Yeah, Morgan.
Penelope Garcia: Isn't this spooky?
Derek Morgan: Isn't what spooky?
Penelope Garcia: That right now you were thinking about me, and out of the blue your phone rings? And it's me. Huh? How's that for a spiritual connection?
Derek Morgan: Umm... Do I know you?
Penelope Garcia: Why do you hurt me?
[Morgan laughs]


"Criminal Minds: Supply and Demand (#6.24)" (2011)
Dr. Spencer Reid: What happened to you?
Derek Morgan: Guy was huge. Seriously.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You should start working out.
Derek Morgan: You got jokes now?
[Reid chuckles]

David Rossi: What is it, kid?
Ashley Seaver: We only rescued seven victims today. What about the rest of these?
David Rossi: It never ends.
Derek Morgan: But today, I think we did good.
David Rossi: Yeah, we did.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, if we weren't so exhausted I would toast us.
Aaron Hotchner: [Hotch comes in] Good work, everybody. Go home and get some rest. Nobody needs to come in until nine... Thirty.
[Hotch leaves]
Penelope Garcia: We were supposed to talk... Has he ever left before us?
Derek Morgan: Baby girl, I don't blame him. It's been a long-ass day.
Penelope Garcia: Well, you heard the man.
David Rossi: Go home.


"Criminal Minds: The Wheels on the Bus... (#8.8)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: These guys are replicating a video game?
David Rossi: In the game, you take over a form of public transportation. Subway, train, bus. That's how you get your players.
Alex Blake: Wait a minute. You've played this game before?
David Rossi: Well, I may have played it once or twice. As I remember, the game consists of five players. Captain, lieutenant, a pair of soldiers, and the pawn.

Derek Morgan: [closing, voiceover] Frederick Douglass said, "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."


"Criminal Minds: The Longest Night (#6.1)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: [about Detective Spicer getting killed] I told him that we should wait for backup, but he wouldn't listen to me. We split up, and he headed around back before I could stop him.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Morgan, sometimes when it comes to family, common sense and procedure go out the window.

Billy Flynn: Do you believe in heaven?
Derek Morgan: This is your last chance.
Billy Flynn: You think I might see her there? Maybe get a second chance?
[stands up]
Billy Flynn: I'd really like that.
[moves his right hand]


"Criminal Minds: Nanny Dearest (#8.21)" (2013)
Tara Rios: So, what makes you think that it's gonna work this time?
Jennifer Jareau: Well, we're gonna try something new. It's a psychotherapy called EMDR.
Derek Morgan: It stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. It's very effective with PTSD and memories that have been buried especially deep.
Tara Rios: What if I can't? What if there's really nothing in there?
Jennifer Jareau: There's evidence that suggests we process intellectual material in a different part of the brain than emotional material. EMDR helps link the two.
[pause]
Jennifer Jareau: Tara, we will be with you the whole time.

Derek Morgan: Hey Tara. It's been a long time
Tara Rios: What are you guys doing here?
Derek Morgan: We need to talk to you
Tara Rios: Well, you could have called me first
Jennifer Jareau: We did! You never called us back


"Criminal Minds: Machismo (#1.19)" (2006)
Derek Morgan: What's all this?
Deputy Borquez: Dia de los Muertos
Dr. Spencer Reid: Day of the dead. Three day Latin holidays where souls of the dead relatives are send return to earth to enjoy the pleasure they once knew of
Deputy Borquez: He sounds like he is reading that out of a book
Derek Morgan: Trust me, he always sounds like that
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, I was reading I picked this pamphlet at the airport

Derek Morgan: Nothing like jet-sleep, right?
Elle Greenaway: Yeah, it's kind a like a night of drinking without the drinking


"Criminal Minds: The Big Wheel (#4.22)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: [closing quotation, voiceover] "No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible." - George Chakiris.

Derek Morgan: A serial killer asking for help. Well, that's a new one on me.


"Criminal Minds: Cold Comfort (#4.14)" (2009)
[their victim's mother is making a public appeal to her daughter's kidnapper]
David Rossi: Wish she would have waited until we had a chance to coach her.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I don't know, she seems to be doing a pretty good job.
Derek Morgan: Good enough to make the unsub think twice about killing Brooke.
David Rossi: If he hasn't already. Chances are this is all too late.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: It's her daughter. She has to have hope, right?
David Rossi: Hope's one thing. False hope is something else.
Derek Morgan: I guess you've worked with psychics before?
David Rossi: Yeah. Not by choice.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You know, there are cases where people believe they've helped.
David Rossi: When people are vulnerable, they'll believe a lot of things.

Aaron Hotchner: By now, we know the DNA found on the victims did not match anyone in the system, so we're gonna have to look beyond physical evidence to identify the killer.
Emily Prentiss: Our unsub is a white male in his mid to late 20s, and he has money. He lives alone, in a large residence. There's enough space and ventilation to accommodate an embalming suite.
Aaron Hotchner: He's awkward with people, especially women. An inability to relate socially is common in homicidal necrophiles.
Derek Morgan: Because of the alterations to the bodies, we believe the unsub is attempting to recreate a woman he once loved.
Detective Duran: Like a girlfriend?
Aaron Hotchner: Or a wife, a mother. Someone who left or died suddenly.
Dr. Spencer Reid: This projection of the loved one coupled with his need to preserve the victims through embalming is similar to the psychopathology of serial murderer Ed Gein. Gein had an Oedipal complex which developed in the years he nursed his paralyzed mother back from a stroke. After she died, his obsession compelled him to dig up corpses of women who resembled his mother. So persistent was his desire to resurrect his dead mother that he actually dressed in female suits fashioned from human skin. Eventually, Gein grew unhappy with the flesh of dead bodies, which had a tendency to dry and crack, so he shifted his focus to live victims, whose bodies he could better preserve.
Aaron Hotchner: The evolution from dead to live victims will also be mirrored in our unsub's maturation.
Emily Prentiss: We've put together a list of incident reports prior to 2006. You're gonna want to follow up on these. Uh, they are inappropriate postmortem conduct, cadaver theft, and graveyard disturbances.
Dr. Spencer Reid: 60% of necrophiles work in the death business, so be sure to canvas local cemeteries, mortuaries, and morgues.
Derek Morgan: And since we have the killer's DNA, we're gonna be sending you out with kits to swab potential suspects.
Aaron Hotchner: The odds of finding Brooke Lombardini alive are slim, but the quicker we identify the killer, the better her chances are. For her sake, let's work fast.


"Criminal Minds: The Crossing (#3.18)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: We all know domestic disputes can be some of *the* most violent.

Detective Steve Berry: Aren't you guys a little overqualified for this case? I mean, this guy's no serial killer.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We construct behavioral profiles for a variety of investigative scenarios. That includes stalking.
Derek Morgan: We've seen this kind of thing before, and it can get ugly real fast.


"Criminal Minds: 200 (#9.14)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: Whoever took Cruz and JJ is highly trained and highly organized. Justice, Defense, and State? They wouldn't be on edge like this if this was a simple matter of two missing agents.
David Rossi: Is Hotch worried that the recovery won't be made a priority?
Derek Morgan: It's our job to find the leverage that ensures it is. Let's get it done.

Undersecretary Rosemary Jackson: What you need to do, Agent, is stand down. We are handling this. This needs to be managed a little more delicately than by the coarse hands of the BAU. What that means, no more SCIF break-ins, no more database searches... Go back to chasing serial killers. This is a state matter.
Aaron Hotchner: [leaves the room and picks up his cell phone ringing] Yeah.
Derek Morgan: They just locked us out. The State doing anything to find JJ and Cruz?
Aaron Hotchner: No.
Derek Morgan: So, what are we gonna do?
Aaron Hotchner: We call in reinforcements.
Emily Prentiss: [cell phone rings in London] Prentiss. Hotch, what's wrong?... Debrief me on the plane. I'm on my way.


"Criminal Minds: The Inspired (#9.2)" (2013)
Derek Morgan: [opening quote] "We are not only our brother's keeper, in countless large and small ways, we are our bother's maker" - Bonaro Overstreet

Derek Morgan: It's all conjecture, because there's nothing deviant in this guy's history. But if you wanted to do something bad, wouldn't it be nice to have another version of you to blame it on?


"Criminal Minds: JJ (#6.2)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: Serial killers are kings of manipulation.

Derek Morgan: Hotch, we can't lose her.
Aaron Hotchner: Strauss thinks we're all replaceable. I went over her head to try to explain that we're not.


"Criminal Minds: Outlaw (#11.4)" (2015)
Derek Morgan: With unsubs this violent, how do you just disappear and go dormant for 6 years?
Aaron Hotchner: They may have been in prison. That would explain the criminal experience
David Rossi: Crime U., the best education taxpayer money can buy

Derek Morgan: [Picks up mobile] Hey, what've you got cooking, baby girl?
Penelope Garcia: Besides that I'm all hopped upon dark roast and Espresso beans?


"Criminal Minds: Protection (#10.22)" (2015)
Derek Morgan: [Phone rings] Hey Baby Girl, what's good?
Penelope Garcia: Hooray, happy breathing! I wasn't invited! What's the occasion?
Derek Morgan: I was just having a run with JJ
Penelope Garcia: Uh, that's boring. See, couldn't you just make something up so satiate my fabulous filthy imagination?
Derek Morgan: Cut it out

Detective Spreewell: Why don't we start with him? Eddie Parrish, Tasha Brooks' pimp. He calls himself Sweetness
Derek Morgan: Oh, come on now, that's Walter Paytons nickname! This is wrong


"Criminal Minds: The Internet Is Forever (#5.22)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: Too bad there's no wireless in prison. Get him outa here!

Derek Morgan: If there's one thing I've learned the hard way, is the last person you want to tick off is Miss Penelope Garcia.
Penelope Garcia: Aww... that a compliment, right?


"Criminal Minds: In the Blood (#9.6)" (2013)
[last lines]
David Rossi: Well, I guess this is proof positive that ancestry ain't all bad.
Penelope Garcia: How about a toast to the 30 or 40 of us?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Cheers!
Derek Morgan: Cheers!
Jennifer Jareau: Cheers!
David Rossi: Salute!

Aaron Hotchner: We're looking for a physically fit male from his late twenties to mid-thirties.He's brazen, confident, and organized.
Derek Morgan: This person may be a moral vigilante. Abby Stafford had drug issues, Gloria Carlyle moved in with her boyfriend, Parker Mills was a sexual deviant.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Moral vigilantism typically has its roots in repression and guilt. This generally manifests itself in low self-esteem and self-loathing. By punishing others, the unsub may also be punishing himself.
Aaron Hotchner: He's also literally branding his victims. We're not sure why, but he's likely marking them as his own.
Alex Blake: His organizational skills suggest someone who can get and keep a full-time job.
David Rossi: But the work is likely low-level. His impaired social development would not allow him to move very far in the professional world.
Jennifer Jareau: Consequently, this is someone most comfortable working in solitude, having minimal interaction with others.
Derek Morgan: And this makes it a challenge to determine how and where this person is choosing his victims.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The two female victims were reserved and studious; Parker Mills lived quietly in the margins of conventional society.
Jennifer Jareau: So the killer may frequent or work in locations that attracts this type of person. Uh, places of solitude, contemplation.
Alex Blake: Museums, gardens and parks, bookstores.
David Rossi: His choice of a city square, rather than a remote canyon, means he's gaining confidence.
Derek Morgan: But the recklessness of killing in such a public space suggests that this confidence may be stemming from a delusion.
Jennifer Jareau: He may believe he's in a place in time that makes him invulnerable.
Aaron Hotchner: And if his delusion is gaining in strength, then his next killing may be riskier and more dramatic. Thank you.


"Criminal Minds: The Perfect Storm (#2.3)" (2006)
Elle Greenaway: Dominant one is the mastermind. That's not to say that the submissive partner is in any way pure or innocent in this exchange.
Jason Gideon: If their criminal desire wasn't present, their partnership wouldn't work.
Derek Morgan: The offenders share a common delusion. It's one that you and I would never accept, but it's this bond that justifies their actions.
Detective Robert Portillo: So we're looking for two sick minds who complete each other.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's kind of like the perfect storm. Once these deviant personalities collide, they're deadly and unstoppable.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Like the D.C. snipers or the Columbine assassins. Sometimes they've met in childhood. Other times, they can be related, like the Hillside Stranglers, Angelo Buono and Kenneth Bianchi, psychopathic cousins who terrorized women in Los Angeles. The dominant partner makes the submissive one feel invincible. That's his reward for doing as he's told. Unfortunately, there are countless opportunities for these twisted minds to meet. And once they've pulled off their vicious acts, the two accept this as common behavior and become bored with normal activity. They live only for their new reality. They're obsessed with it, addicted to it. And there's a fierce loyalty between the two. The submissive one, however, is usually less intelligent and easier to catch, and once caught, he is easier to turn.
Jason Gideon: Lack of remorse increases their aggressiveness. Sexual sadists will stop when they're caught.

Derek Morgan: You're okay?
Penelope Garcia: I am okay? Eh, let me see: I have got images of a girl being tortured burned inside my brain over this strain over this once carefree choice of music. I isolated 4 sources from one track and each one is more distorted that the next. So no, I am not okay, that is going to take a while!
Derek Morgan: Penelope, you know I appreciate your doings
Penelope Garcia: Thank you sugar, but right now even that doesn't feel good


"Criminal Minds: If the Shoe Fits (#10.6)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: None of the girls Brubaker filmed were under aged!
Kate Callahan: Oh, gosh! Do you think I gave Shane the wrong impression?
Derek Morgan: Kind a like you style, Callahan!

[Kate spills some coffee on her sleeve]
Derek Morgan: You're okay?
Kate Callahan: That's so typical! My mother used to say: if clumsiness were a virtue I would be anointed Katherine the first


"Criminal Minds: The Last Word (#2.9)" (2006)
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: This is the story for tomorrow.
[Hands Morgan the printout of the newspaper with the victim's of the Hollow Man]
Derek Morgan: [Reading from the paper] They were our daughters, sisters, mothers and friends.
Jason Gideon: They have every right to be remembered and memorialized.
Dr. Spencer Reid: They didn't mention the shooter.
Aaron Hotchner: He was a nobody who wanted to be somebody by killing people, and they didn't give him that. Good.

Dr. Spencer Reid: The Hollow Man uses simple statements, all first person. Uh, for example, "I won't be ignored." He's obviously tired of feeling this way. It's quite possible he has a job in solitude or one that he feels strips him of his identity. His job might require him to wear a uniform, something that shows absolutely no individuality. Or he may be overqualified for his menial job and feels like he doesn't get the respect that he necessarily deserves.
Aaron Hotchner: But today, he's killed two women, which tells us he's growing confident. This makes him unpredictable and dangerous. And because he has no physical contact with his victims, it's going to make him that much harder to catch.
Derek Morgan: We have more information on the Mill Creek killer, because he spends a lot of time with his victims before and after his kills.
Jason Gideon: Because his victims willingly follow him in broad daylight, he appears harmless. He's most likely handsome.
Agent James Sheridan: Handsome?
Jason Gideon: Yes. These women wouldn't follow an unattractive man. They just wouldn't.
Derek Morgan: He's handsome, and he's got the social skills to trick his victims. Those who know him well, they'd be shocked to learn that he's the man that we're after.
Jason Gideon: He's been able to get his victims away from family, friends. Obviously, this makes him feel powerful.
Agent James Sheridan: If this guy is so smart, why would he risk driving his victims from the abduction site to the woods?
Jason Gideon: Because of the ritual. It's become the most important thing to him. Dominates his thoughts. Woods provide the privacy he needs.
Derek Morgan: The Hollow Man is motivated by external pressures. This is a guy who simply wants attention. The Mill Creek killer, on the other hand, he's driven by internal forces. He's a sexually motivated offender. Now, this makes him a lot more predictable, but don't think for a second it makes him any easier to catch.


"Criminal Minds: The Fisher King: Part 1 (#1.22)" (2006)
Derek Morgan: Hour be none?
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Walks right in] 3 PM. He Guys, Garcia told me where to find you
Jason Gideon: 3 PM?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's medieval the days used to be broken into hourly intervals, canonicals hours of the Breviary: Prime: 6 AM, Terce: 9 AM, Sext: 12 noon, None: 3 PM and Verspers: 6 PM
Elle Greenaway: Reid, do not ever go away again!
Jason Gideon: Medieval, that's why the language changed

Penelope Garcia: [aggitated] All work and no play, huh? All work and no play? You just wait until I am through with you!
[picks up ringing phone]
Penelope Garcia: What?
Derek Morgan: Garcia, I need a rundown on a guy
Penelope Garcia: No!
Derek Morgan: What?
Penelope Garcia: The information super highway is closed.
Derek Morgan: What you're talking about?
Penelope Garcia: Someone had the nerve to run a black hat op into my computers, Morgan. They hacked me, okay? You can bet your sweet ass I will find them! I've got honey pot farms hidden behind UML kernel data packets and a first generation honey net I personally programmed. My snort logs every visitor, every server request, every keystroke on this entire network. If I had to backtrack his IP all the way to the freaking stone age, I will find this son of a bitch! So bye


"Criminal Minds: X (#10.1)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: Well, how did you do last night?
Penelope Garcia: Three hours, again
Derek Morgan: Baby girl, you can't function on three hours of sleep. Trust me, I've tried
Penelope Garcia: I know, but it's better than the nightmares
Derek Morgan: There's got to be something you can do
Penelope Garcia: I've tried everything. Trust me
Derek Morgan: Have you tried not drinking coffee?
Penelope Garcia: This is tea! It's herbal! No caffeine! What else you've got?
[Derek starts gesture]
Penelope Garcia: Better be a good answer!
[Derek stops]
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, that's what I thought!

Penelope Garcia: You'd think after 10 years I'd seen them all
Derek Morgan: How many sites are there, Mama?
Penelope Garcia: Hundreds and that gem of fellow you've got in custody has looked at all of them at one time or another


"Criminal Minds: Seven Seconds (#3.5)" (2007)
Derek Morgan: Well, you are breaking my heart baby girl. Where are you going?
Penelope Garcia: And who are you with?

Marie Samuels: Realistically, it'll take at least three hours to cover this place.
Derek Morgan: Realistically, we have less than half that time.
Marie Samuels: How do you figure?
Dr. Spencer Reid: 99 percent of abducted children were killed or died within the first 24 hours, 75 percent within the first three hours, and like, of course you know, Jessica Davis, 44 percent of children were abducted and killed in the first hour.


"Criminal Minds: 100 (#5.9)" (2009)
The Reaper: [Hotch has Foyet down and is beating him] You got me... I surrender. I surr...
[Hotch's beating intensifies as his own life flashes before his eyes... Morgan, Prentiss and Rossi enter, and Morgan restrains him]
Derek Morgan: HOTCH! HOTCH! He's dead! Hotch, stop! Come on, stop! It's over! It's over... it's OK... it's over, man.
[Hotch breaks down sobbing, then frees himself from Morgan's grip]

Penelope Garcia: He is creepy good
Dr. Spencer Reid: How good?
Penelope Garcia: He wiped his hard drive. Might have been in a hurry to leave, but whatever was on there he did not want us to see it
Derek Morgan: Garcia, tell me that you hacked in and you can rebuild it
Penelope Garcia: Watch me work, darling


"Criminal Minds: The Itch (#10.4)" (2014)
Penelope Garcia: You know that throw away cell phone that called Albert Stillman?
Derek Morgan: Yeah
Penelope Garcia: It made another call this morning to a dr. William Suri. He is a researcher scientist of entomology of all things
Derek Morgan: Baby girl, hold on a second
[Derek: walks to a room a reads a whiteboard]
Derek Morgan: This guy works at Barnett Collega?
Penelope Garcia: I know you guys are psychic but how did you do that?

Derek Morgan: This is an inherent contradiction about who this victim is
David Rossi: Only one?


"Criminal Minds: Faceless, Nameless (#5.1)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: We're not working a case, why call us to a crime scene?
David Rossi: I was hoping you knew

Penelope Garcia: [Picks up the phone] Emily?
Derek Morgan: No, sorry, Baby Girl, just little old me. You're out of luck
Penelope Garcia: Right, sorry


"Criminal Minds: The Witness (#11.2)" (2015)
Derek Morgan: [opening quote] It is in your moment of decision that your destiny is shaped" - Tony Robbins

Derek Morgan: Garcia, did he write anything that could make him a potential target?
Penelope Garcia: Hm-mmm, nothing. Everything is really non-offensive and I have delicate sensibilities
Derek Morgan: It's part of your charm, mama
Penelope Garcia: [Melts] Aww!


"Criminal Minds: Aftermath (#2.5)" (2006)
Derek Morgan: Oh, one last favor. Look up the words sexy and brilliant in that computer of yours and tell me what you come up with.
Penelope Garcia: Look at that, it's me.
Derek Morgan: You are a goddess woman, ciao.
[Flicks the phone shut. Women in the waiting room are staring at him]
Derek Morgan: It was a... It was a work call.

[Phone rings]
Penelope Garcia: Dayton, Ohia, you're on the air
Derek Morgan: I'd like to make a request
Penelope Garcia: With that sultry voice? You name it!


"Criminal Minds: Legacy (#2.22)" (2007)
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: We're going to provide a psychological profile of the man we're looking for. It contains some unusual, specific personality traits that someone out there is bound to recognize.
Jason Gideon: Which will make him relatively easy to locate. Long-lasting, negative impression he leaves on anyone he might meet.
Derek Morgan: We have a term for the killing behavior this unsub displays: cleaning house. Fixing what's wrong with the world.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He's deeply rationalized this behavior, and while he certainly knows the killing is wrong, he truly believes that he's doing the world a great service.
Derek Morgan: Ultimately, this type of unsub becomes a loner. There won't be too many people that can still tolerate him. Now, if he does have a relationship at all, the person will not be his equal. It'll be someone subservient to him.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He'll be... fastidious, tending toward obsessive-compulsive disorder, and he'll have an overwhelming sense of indignation towards the things that he's judged to be wrong. He wouldn't even consider the reasons why someone might disagree with him.
Detective One: He sounds like a real jagoff.
Derek Morgan: Exactly. Class "A" scumbag.
Emily Prentiss: Detective McGee started noticing the disappearances a year ago. The ubsub probably had a stressor at this time. The death of a family member, or someone who had some semblance of control over him. Right now, no one has control over him.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's probable that he isn't currently working after this many victims and the devolution that it brings, a job just wouldn't leave him time to practice his true calling.
Capt. Wright: Which is...?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: A predator. A killing machine. By now, it's become all he thinks about.

Emily Prentiss: Damn!
Derek Morgan: That is a lot of people
Dr. Spencer Reid: Homeless man, homeless women, runaways, prostitutes, and drug users
Emily Prentiss: Can all of their disappearances be a coincidences?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Technically it wouldn't really be a coincidence, since a number of these people share high-risk triaits, which throws the curve off. You see the word coincidence...
Derek Morgan: Hey kid!
Dr. Spencer Reid: implies more...
Derek Morgan: We do not need a vocabulary lesson right now
Dr. Spencer Reid: Right! Sorry


"Criminal Minds: Honor Among Thieves (#2.20)" (2007)
Derek Morgan: In America, they can only hurt you if you don't ask for help.
Natalya Chernus: Is that really true?
Derek Morgan: Most of the time.

Derek Morgan: What am I looking for?
Jason Gideon: Anything that helps!


"Criminal Minds: Doubt (#3.1)" (2007)
Jason Gideon: This last kill had a different signature!
Derek Morgan: I know! I also know that Richard Jewel fit the profile of the Olympic Bomber to the "t" and he was innocent, but the accusations tore apart his life!

Jennifer Jareau: I can't believe he is walking out of here!
Derek Morgan: It's the right thing to do
Jennifer Jareau: Remind me of that the next time I have to tell someone their friend or daughter is murdered!


"Criminal Minds: Lauren (#6.18)" (2011)
Derek Morgan: She threw a flash bang grenade into a car, she's lucky the three people inside didn't die. Is anybody else bothered by that?
David Rossi: Well, three bad guys.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Illegal as it is, I think Prentiss knows she has to be as ruthless as Doyle.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He's come to the US to wage a public vendetta and hired a group of mercenaries to remain loyal to him. He has nothing to lose, so she has to act the same way.

Dr. Spencer Reid: It's another spy whose cover is LR.
Emily Prentiss: [in Reid's flashback] Lauren Reynolds is dead.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Lauren Reynolds is dead.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Lauren Reynolds is dead. Prentiss said that on a phone call 17 days ago. But her intonation wasn't surprise or grief. It was like a mantra, like she was reminding herself. Lauren Reynolds, LR.
Derek Morgan: She left her badge and gun? Why would she do that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: That doesn't make sense. Why run? We're her family. We can help.
David Rossi: Doyle's killing families. She's not married, not close to relatives. He was ready to wipe us out. She ran to protect us.


"Criminal Minds: The Lesson (#8.10)" (2012)
Jennifer Jareau: [Looking at some clothes] This is all very Spencer'ly
Derek Morgan: Yeah, it sure is. But at least his style is consistent
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, what's going on with him anyway?
Derek Morgan: Oh, I think pretty boy has got a girl friend
Jennifer Jareau: You do? Why hasn't he told us?
Derek Morgan: I respect his privacy
Jennifer Jareau: No, you don't!
Derek Morgan: You're right, I don't, but I'm not about to play 20 questions with someone I'm not sleeping with!
Jennifer Jareau: Hm!

Jennifer Jareau: Well, I think after this long, hard week we just had, we should all head over to Rossi's and pop open some old, expensive wine
David Rossi: That's a plan
Penelope Garcia: Could we maybe play some games, too?
Derek Morgan: Oh, what kind of games?
Penelope Garcia: You tell me, sweet cheeks!
[Derek laughs]


"Criminal Minds: No Way Out, Part II: The Evilution of Frank (#2.23)" (2007)
Leopold: Agent Morgan?
Emily Prentiss: What the hell?
Leopold: "They say beauty can cover a multitude of sins"
Derek Morgan: What?
Leopold: "But underneath it all..."
Leopold, Frank Breitkopf: "we all look exactly the same!"
Derek Morgan: That's Frank! He said that to me in the diner!
Leopold: "Give me Jane or I'll kill them all"
Derek Morgan: Frank thinks we have Jane?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: We need to find him, fast!
Leopold: Can I have my ten bucks now?

Derek Morgan: Is that wise?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: No, but it is an order!


"Criminal Minds: Out of the Light (#6.22)" (2011)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Autopsy report revealed fragments of glass in some of Angela's wounds.
Aaron Hotchner: Were they able to identify the blades used?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Only that there were a number of them.
David Rossi: The doctor mentioned she had heavy metals in her blood.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, the highest one being lead.
Derek Morgan: Well, add that to the unique patterns of her wounds and the glass in her cuts. Maybe this guy worked with stained glass. Talbot had stained glass in his front door.
Ashley Seaver: The Owens had stained glass window chimes in their condo.
David Rossi: Lead fumes can get into your system during the soldering process.
[Seaver gives Rossi a weird glance]
David Rossi: What? My second wife was crafty.

David Rossi: What have you got?
Derek Morgan: It looks like this guy Talbot had another hobby. The girls in these photos can't be more than 16 years old.
David Rossi: Photos? Morgan, how many are there?
Derek Morgan: I'm thinking 30, 40.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Fifty-four.
Derek Morgan: Excuse me. That's 54.


"Criminal Minds: Alchemy (#8.20)" (2013)
Derek Morgan: [phone rings] Hey mama, tell me something I don't know.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, hot chocolate, the thing I could spill to you...
Derek Morgan: Hey, hey, you're on speaker.

Derek Morgan: We believe that the unsub that we're looking for is a woman who's trying to get pregnant. She's experiencing what we call black widow maternal desire. She has a desperate need for a child, which most likely stems from the recent loss of one.
Alex Blake: That child may have died or been taken away in a custody situation.
Dr. Spencer Reid: She's drugging her male victims in order to keep them under her control for forty-eight hours, and we believe she's using them as breeding partners to help replace the child that she lost.
David Rossi: Her victims are surrogates for a male figure in her life. One she may have already killed. He could be a boyfriend or husband who most likely fathered the child she lost.
Aaron Hotchner: And the signs of torture indicate that she may blame the child's father for this loss and is exacting her revenge on these victims.
Alex Blake: After they're dead, she dismembers them for easier disposal.
Derek Morgan: The strength required to do this, and transport body parts, it's likely that she's working with a submissive partner she dominates with her agenda.
David Rossi: Based on the sophistication and patience required for these crimes, we believe this unsub is probably in her thirties and no older than her early forties, if pregnancy is her goal.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: And she works at night, luring victims from parties or bars. She may even have an illness, or feign one to gain their sympathy.
Aaron Hotchner: Chad Dumont's been missing for almost thirty hours, and if the unsub keeps to her schedule, he may still be alive. But time is of the essence.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Even though the first two victims are dead, we can certainly step up our game so we can give the victims' families some answers
Aaron Hotchner: Thank you.


"Criminal Minds: Persuasion (#9.17)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: The woman killed yesterday was wearing a uniform. She could have been a waitress or maid
Dr. Spencer Reid: There are 93 hotels in Las Vegas, 260 motels and inns, 1510 basr and 2996 restaurants, not to mention nearby Summerlin, which is growing popularity


"Criminal Minds: Hit (#7.23)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: Tactical's been deployed, snipers are moving into position.
Erin Strauss: The director's ordered a full tactical assault.
Derek Morgan: His last orders cost us an agent.
Detective William LaMontagne Jr.: SWAT's getting itchy fingers.
Aaron Hotchner: Well, you remind SWAT that bank robberies are federal jurisdiction. No one fires until they're ordered to.
Detective William LaMontagne Jr.: Right.
Aaron Hotchner: All right, when the crossfire starts, what's gonna happen to the hostages caught in the middle?
David Rossi: That's the wrong call, Erin, and you know it.
Erin Strauss: It's not my call.
Aaron Hotchner: You're here and you're in charge.
Erin Strauss: So, you want me to disobey the director?
David Rossi: Yes.
Aaron Hotchner: No. I just want you to buy us a little time. Don't be quite so efficient.
Erin Strauss: Whatever you're gonna do, do it fast.
Aaron Hotchner: All right.


"Criminal Minds: The Thirteenth Step (#6.13)" (2011)
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, what if they really are struggling with sobriety? If they're really working the program, they could be working on the hardest steps.
Aaron Hotchner: Which are?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Seven, eight and nine. Acknowledge your shortcomings, accept responsibility, and make amends. The trouble is, these UnSubs already broke one of the most important steps.
Derek Morgan: What's that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The 13th step. Members aren't supposed to enter relationships with each other while trying to get sober.


"Criminal Minds: The Uncanny Valley (#5.12)" (2010)
Aaron Hotchner: The unsub we're looking for is a woman. She's a collector. It's a psychopathology similar to hoarding.
David Rossi: So when we say "collector", we're not talking about stamps or baseball cards. It's not what your kids, or even you, might pursue as a normal hobby.
Aaron Hotchner: This is an attachment to objects that's become obsessive, by someone who is antisocial and extremely introverted.
Emily Prentiss: These people attach a part of themselves to their collection. If you try to separate them from it or take it away from them, they will react violently, even psychotically.
Dr. Spencer Reid: They've suffered damage to their prefrontal cortex. That's the part of the brain that regulates basic Freudian fantasy/reality. They can still function, like drive a car or go to work, even do their taxes.
Derek Morgan: In fact, she excels at goal-oriented jobs, like the precision of sewing, or the details of abduction.
Dr. Spencer Reid: But they've lost their ability to categorize the difference between living and dead, uh, belonging and loss. That has been irreparably destroyed.
Detective Marty Cotrone: So what's she collecting, women?
David Rossi: Actually, we think she's collecting dolls.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Technically, replacing them. Uh, we believe that she lost the originals sometime within the last three months, and this is what served as her stressor.
David Rossi: She searched for a replacement, and when she couldn't find them, she started abducting the closest possible surrogate.
Emily Prentiss: Women of different ethnicities but a similar physicality.
Derek Morgan: The drug-induced paralysis is part of the fantasy. She puts her victims in a position where they can't talk back so she can fetishize them like the objects she's lost.
Detective Marty Cotrone: Um... look. I respect your analysis, but this woman kidnapped six women and killed three of them. And you're telling us this is about dolls?
Emily Prentiss: This unsub stitched a wig onto the scalp of her latest victim. It's a technique used to attach hair to porcelain dolls.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And keep in mind, collectors and serial killers do share certain traits. Uh... a lot of serial killers take trophies, attaching the same significance to them that this collector does to objects.
David Rossi: But this unsub's intent isn't violence. She needs this collection to be complete so she can feel in control of her life, probably to overcome some trauma she experienced.
Dr. Spencer Reid: She really only feels that control when the collection is complete, which is why she's repeating an abduction pattern with living victims. If she loses a doll, or in this case, if she loses a woman who represents a doll, she has to replace it.
Aaron Hotchner: This woman works alone. We know she has medical training. Look for nurse's aides or orderlies who were fired for a lack of social graces. She can't fake a bedside manner.
Emily Prentiss: We believe she's currently working as a tailor or a seamstress, and we're following those leads now. But do let us know if you notice any overlap in your suspect pools. Thank you.


"Criminal Minds: Tabula Rasa (#3.19)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: [in Hotch's flashback during his testimony] Hey, what's the new tech girl's name?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Ah, Gomez, I think.
Derek Morgan: [to Garcia] Excuse me, Gomez!
[Garcia starts walking away]
Derek Morgan: Hey, baby girl!
Penelope Garcia: Baby girl?
Derek Morgan: Ah, forgive me. I just didn't know your real name...
Penelope Garcia: I've been called worse. What can I do for you?


"Criminal Minds: To Bear Witness (#9.4)" (2013)
Derek Morgan: [opening quote] "Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too was a gift" - Mary Oliver


"Criminal Minds: Mr. Scratch (#10.21)" (2015)
Derek Morgan: Do we know who in witness protection?
Penelope Garcia: Well, that's the $64,000 question, isn't it? And I will pay you the $64,000 if you can answer it!


"Criminal Minds: Minimal Loss (#4.3)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: Garcia, what do we got on Cyrus?
Penelope Garcia: Um... we've got bupkis. It's like the guy never cast a shadow on the known universe. However, his predecessor, Leo Cane, is doing a seventeen year stretch at Dearfield Federal Prison. Apparently, Libertarians do not like paying taxes.
Derek Morgan: Seventeen years for tax evasion?
Penelope Garcia: Oh, no. That would be two years for tax evasion and fifteen for going after four IRS agents with a Louisville Slugger.


"Criminal Minds: It Takes a Village (#7.1)" (2011)
Aaron Hotchner: Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle. But the doctors were able to stabilize her, and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under covert exfiltration. Her identity was strictly need to know. And she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris, where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to, for her security.
Penelope Garcia: She's alive?
Dr. Spencer Reid: But we buried her.
Aaron Hotchner: As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me.
Derek Morgan: [angry] Any issues? Yeah, I got issues.
[Prentiss appears in the doorway]
Penelope Garcia: [near tears] Oh, my God.


"Criminal Minds: The Instincts (#4.6)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: I thought you didn't believe in dream analysis?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Freud has been discredited, but Jung still has its merits


"Criminal Minds: The Fallen (#8.7)" (2012)
David Rossi: That's pretty brave what you did, running into that fire on your own.
Chad Mills: Yeah? Look how that turned out.
Derek Morgan: I don't know, if you ask me, I say it was pretty stupid.
Chad Mills: Stupid?
Derek Morgan: Yeah, that's right. You went in without protective gear. Looks like maybe you were trying to prove something.
Jennifer Jareau: Third generation fireman. What's there to prove? It's in his genes.
Derek Morgan: Quite a legacy to try to live up to. But you just wanted to be the best, didn't you?
Chad Mills: I am the best!
David Rossi: Guess we'll never know for sure.
Chad Mills: My whole life, I knew I was gonna be a fireman. That I would matter!
Jennifer Jareau: You do matter, Chad. Everyone matters.
Chad Mills: Not him! He doesn't.
David Rossi: That man is a marine. He risked his life to protect us. You telling me that doesn't matter?


"Criminal Minds: Remembrance of Things Past (#6.3)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: Rossi, what's in the box?
David Rossi: Evil.


"Criminal Minds: Target Rich (#11.7)" (2015)
Derek Morgan: [seeing how fit JJ is upon her return from maternity leave] Okay, you did not just have a baby.


"Criminal Minds: What Happens at Home... (#6.10)" (2010)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Well, the fact of the matter is, "Beam me up, Scotty," was never actually said. The closest they ever got was "Scotty, beam us up" in "The Gamesters of Triskelion" and "The Savage Curtain" episode, but interestingly enough...
Derek Morgan: Reid, come on. Give it a rest.


"Criminal Minds: Charm and Harm (#1.20)" (2006)
Derek Morgan: Why are you acting so weird?
Elle Greenaway: We're sitting with a guy who knows that there are 800 kernels of corn on the average cob...
Dr. Spencer Reid: Arranged in 16 separate rows.
Elle Greenaway: ...and you're calling me weird?


"Criminal Minds: Angels (#9.23)" (2014)
Jennifer Jareau: So, we get Henry to bed and, you know, we're about to finally have some alone time with mommy and daddy and... you guys know the rest!
Derek Morgan: Ah, trying to dust off the old cobwebs
Penelope Garcia: Inappropriate! Seriously, how long has it been?
Jennifer Jareau: Too long!


"Criminal Minds: #6 (#8.22)" (2013)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Up until now, he's been an equal opportunity, anger retaliatory sadist.
David Rossi: Which is fancy talk for he hates the husbands as much as the wives.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Most likely because his own marriage failed in a humiliating way, and his wife left him for a man she may be engaged or even already married to.
Derek Morgan: But a major shift happened with Mary Hammond. He wasn't able to kidnap the husband, but he needed someone to cut her.
Jennifer Jareau: So his MO was forced to evolve. We believe he's abducted the sixth victim, a man, probably someone who reminds him of his own failed marriage.
Alex Blake: And he's keeping number six alive so he can repeat the process with Emma Churchill.
David Rossi: Number six could be a surrogate for the ex-wife's new husband or actually be the new husband.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Which is why the fastest way to find this UnSub is through this most recent unknown victim.


"Criminal Minds: 3rd Life (#3.12)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: Are you okay, Reid?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I tried.
[pause]
Dr. Spencer Reid: I tried, but I couldn't.


"Criminal Minds: Mosley Lane (#5.16)" (2010)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Mr Lynch, I think you should know, that nothing could have stopped these people from taking your daughter
Frank Lynch: Yeah. Well, I never would have let go of her hand!
Barbara Lynch: Frank, please!
[Frank and Barbara walk quarreling away towards their home]
Barbara Lynch: Frank!
Derek Morgan: We've done all we can
Dr. Spencer Reid: It doesn't make walking away any easier
Derek Morgan: No, it doesn't


"Criminal Minds: Reflection of Desire (#6.8)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: [learning Garcia acts in her spare time] When did you plan on telling me?
Penelope Garcia: Oh, I wasn't gonna tell you. We all have things for ourselves. You know, you have property, I have the theater.
Derek Morgan: Well, can you at least tell me what it's about?
Penelope Garcia: Mm-hmm. It's about a woman who's attacked by a serial killer, but she catches him, and she knocks him out, and she keeps him for days.
Derek Morgan: Garcia, of all the plays in the world, you choose something like that?
Penelope Garcia: I get to vent.


"Criminal Minds: Catching Out (#4.5)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: So wait, she knew your name?
Derek Morgan: I don't know how I could forget a face like hers
Dr. Spencer Reid: You've been with so many girls that you can't remember all their names?
Emily Prentiss: Oh, come on! You're surprised?
Derek Morgan: This has never happened to me before!
Dr. Spencer Reid: It hasn't happened to me before either
Emily Prentiss: Well, it can't happen to you, you have an eidetic memory
Derek Morgan: And besides, you only have one name to remember


"Criminal Minds: The Hunt (#10.23)" (2015)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Although the observable universe is continually expanding, there's really no way of knowing the whole thing is gonna ultimately collapse into one gargantuan Black Hole.
Derek Morgan: Wow, there's actually something our little genius doesn't know.


"Criminal Minds: No Way Out (#2.13)" (2007)
Derek Morgan: Garcia's gonna love this
[takes a picture of a body]
Penelope Garcia: Oh, it's so not the way to a girl's heart


"Criminal Minds: Blood Relations (#9.20)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: Is that barbed wire?
Penelope Garcia: Indeed it is, arranged to fit like a noose.
Derek Morgan: How do you wrap that into a noose?
Penelope Garcia: I guess it's the same way that porcupines make love. Very carefully.


"Criminal Minds: The Job (#11.1)" (2015)
Derek Morgan: I don't take kindly to being blown up. In fact, it kind of pisses me off.


"Criminal Minds: Jones (#2.18)" (2007)
Derek Morgan: You gonna tell me why you missed that flight to Galveston?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I already told you, there was no cell reception.
Derek Morgan: [skeptically] Right.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What?
Derek Morgan: Reid, any time you want to come up with a better answer, I'm standing right here.


"Criminal Minds: Devil's Night (#6.6)" (2010)
Lt. Al Garner: Do you know how rare it is for an arsonist to be a burn victim?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Less than 3.5%.
Derek Morgan: This guy's not an arsonist. He's a serial killer who uses fire.


"Criminal Minds: Internal Affairs (#11.9)" (2015)
Derek Morgan: Hey baby girl, I need you to look into something for me
Penelope Garcia: Tell me it's your melted chocolate eyes, because I'm so there
Derek Morgan: Likewise, but first things first, silly girl


"Criminal Minds: Pariahville (#11.6)" (2015)
Derek Morgan: [opening quote] "I swear from the bottom of my heart I want to be healed. I want to be like other men not this outcast nobody wants." - E. M. Forster


"Criminal Minds: Valhalla (#6.17)" (2011)
Emily Prentiss: I'll be waiting for it. Thanks.
Derek Morgan: They got something?
Emily Prentiss: I don't know. We'll see.
Derek Morgan: You know, Emily, you really need to trust people.
Emily Prentiss: I trust people.
Derek Morgan: No, you don't. You don't because you can't. And I get it. Every time you tried to count on someone, they let you down, so you go it alone. You'll never admit that because you're just too damn stubborn. It's all right. It doesn't really matter. But I'll tell you what does matter. That you can trust me, Emily. With anything. I'm serious. No matter how awful you think it is, I promise you, you are not alone. I just wish you would believe that.
Emily Prentiss: I do. You profile me again, you'll wish you hadn't.
[both smile]


"Criminal Minds: What Fresh Hell? (#1.12)" (2006)
Penelope Garcia: Penelope Gracia's house of "How May I Save Your Ass Today?"
Derek Morgan: You can give me sex offenders registry for Wilmington, Delaware
Penelope Garcia: Ah, that's always a fun group!


"Criminal Minds: Through the Looking Glass (#8.3)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: Hey Sweetness, what do you've got?
Penelope Garcia: Tidbits as sweet as you, love shack!


"Criminal Minds: Brothers Hotchner (#8.23)" (2013)
Penelope Garcia: [Picks up the pohone] Go for greatness
Derek Morgan: Hey Baby Girl, I need you to run a search on delayed onset MDMA Meth amphetamine mixtures. See if you can find anything about...
Penelope Garcia: Wow!
Jennifer Jareau: What?
Penelope Garcia: Double oh to the wow to the oh wow power! There's a drug called para-methox... ish...
Dr. Spencer Reid: Para- methoxymethamphetamine?
Penelope Garcia: Yes! What you just said: PMMA for short


"Criminal Minds: The Fight (#5.18)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: So, he gets abducted off the street, quietly enough, that there's no witnesses, but then he fights for his life, only let the unsub shoot him execution style?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: In other words: What the hell is he doing with them?


"Criminal Minds: The Stranger (#6.21)" (2011)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you wanna know why horror movies are so successful?
Derek Morgan: Why is that, genius?
Dr. Spencer Reid: They prey on our instinctual need to survive. In tribal days, a woman's scream would signal danger and the men would return from hunting to protect their pack. That's why it's always the women and not the men who fall victim to the bogeyman.
Ashley Seaver: Count on you, Reid, to break a movie down to science.


"Criminal Minds: Pay It Forward (#8.19)" (2013)
Penelope Garcia: [Morgan's phone rings] Penelope Garcia beaming in.
Derek Morgan: Hey, throw me a bone, baby girl.
Penelope Garcia: Lover, I'm tossing you a 24-ounce tofu steak.


"Criminal Minds: The Road Home (#9.13)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: [Open quote] "Beware the fury of a patient man", John Dryden


"Criminal Minds: Reckoner (#5.3)" (2009)
David Rossi: I, eh, may be able to hit on some old contacts, but I need to do it alone
Emily Prentiss: Contacts?
Derek Morgan: Do we want to know?
Emily Prentiss: Best not


"Criminal Minds: About Face (#3.6)" (2007)
Derek Morgan: [after Reid sneaks up behind him in a mask and scares him] See, that right there is why Halloween creeps me out.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You're scared of Halloween?
Derek Morgan: I didn't say I was *scared*, I said I was *creeped out*. There's a difference there, youngster, you should look it up.
Emily Prentiss: What creeps you out about it?
Derek Morgan: I don't know, people wearing masks. I don't like folks in disguises.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's the best thing about Halloween! You can be anyone you wanna be!
[Reid throws Morgan a piece of candy]
Derek Morgan: Nah, I'm pretty good just being me.
Emily Prentiss: Yeah, why is it that neither of those points of view surprise me?


"Criminal Minds: Pleasure Is My Business (#4.16)" (2009)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Female serial killers are a fascinating field. We don't have much information on them, but what we do know involves throwing the rules completely out the window. Signature, for instance. They don't torture or take trophies.
Derek Morgan: Because there's no sexual gratification when a woman kills.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Exactly. Murder is the goal. They don't have to do anything extra.


"Criminal Minds: Haunted (#5.2)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: He's only had a month off, Rossi
David Rossi: Technically, 34 days
Derek Morgan: You think that's long enough?
David Rossi: You don't? Tell him
Derek Morgan: No thanks, I like my job!
David Rossi: You like him more


"Criminal Minds: Ashes and Dust (#2.19)" (2007)
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: The unsub we're looking for is a highly intelligent, underachieving, 35 to 45 year old white male with a severe narcissistic character disorder.
Jason Gideon: Nothing in his life works for long. If he was married, he's now divorced. If employed, it won't last.
Derek Morgan: What he wants is admiration, but he's got no respect for others. Not their feelings, and most certainly not their safety.
Jason Gideon: He feels entitled. He's like a petulant adolescent. He both resents and he absolutely expects others to take care of him.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: And given that a male relative wouldn't tolerate this behavior, he most likely lives with a female relative; his mother, grandmother, aunt, whom he exploits.
Derek Morgan: His arson kit is expensive. Fire suit, oxygen mask. This suggests that he may be employed, but his personality will not allow him to work closely with others in an office setting.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: This, along with the information about his vehicle, lead us to believe that he's a traveling salesman of some sort who works for a company big enough not to notice that he's a sociopath.
Det. Leah Castro: Okay, this scumbag has issues. We all get it. But why fire?
Dr. Spencer Reid: He's, uh, like a drug addict. Only fire's his drug, and each time an addict needs a fix, they need more of the drug to get off. So his crimes will most likely get much worse. It would be almost impossible for him to quit without help.


"Criminal Minds: Birthright (#3.11)" (2007)
Derek Morgan: Garcia has got something
Penelope Garcia: Don't worry, it's not contagious