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Quotes for
Roy L. Fuchs (Character)
from Used Cars (1980)

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Used Cars (1980)
Roy L. Fuchs: I'll tell you something. This country is going to the dogs. You know, it used to be when you bought a politician, that son of a bitch stayed bought.

Rudy: So. Roy L... What can I do you for?
Roy L. Fuchs: Uhhh... I'd like to talk to my brother.
Rudy: Well, you're gonna have to talk kinda loud. He left for Miami late last night.
Roy L. Fuchs: Miami?
Rudy: Yeah. Miami Beach.
Roy L. Fuchs: Miami Beach?
Jeff: Florida.
Roy L. Fuchs: I know where the fuck Miami Beach is, dummy.

Luke Fuchs: $10,000. Is that all it takes to be elected senator these days.
Rudy: Well, that's more like a down payment. After I'm elected its 50-50 on all the graft I take.

[Roy L. and Slaton are discussing Barbara's trial]
Roy L. Fuchs: I can't believe you got Hangin' Judge Harrison. He's not on the take; he's legit.
Sam Slaton: Remember that colored kid that got caught stealing a case of beer?
Roy L. Fuchs: Billy Ray? Billy Ray Washington?
Sam Slaton: [nods] Hangin' Judge Harrison gave him thirty five years hard labor! You need somebody who'll throw the book at this broad. I've paid off all the experts, all the witnesses; I've even got her lawyer on my payroll.
[cut to her attorney, who's fast asleep]
Sam Slaton: I can win this case, Roy... Trust me!

[President Carter on TV]
President Carter: -high inflation. What is the solution?
[TV cuts to commercial for Luke's yard taking place in Roy's yard]
Jeff: You want the solution to inflation? Hi, friends. Marshall Lucky here for New Deal Used Cars, where we're lowering inflation not only by fighting high prices, not only by murdering high prices, but by blowing the living shit out of high prices. Yessir. Here's an example. It's a 1972 Cadillac Coupe DeVille, for sixty-two ninety-nine. That price is too high.
[shoots car]
Jeff: Yessir. Here's another one. It's a Lincoln Continental, Mark IV, 1973. It's loaded. It's got air conditioning. It's got a stereo. It's got white-wall radial tires. It's got power steering, power brakes, power seats, power windows. And a price that is just too high.
[shoots car]
Jeff: Yessir.
[Jim appears on car behind him in costume]
Freddie: [on microphone] Look out, Marshall Lucky. It's High Prices.
Jeff: Take this, you dirty ol' High Prices.
["shoots" Jim, who puts on a very convincing act]
Jim: AHHHH. Ya got me Marshall. Ahhhhh...
Jeff: [shocked] Jesus Christ.
[winks at screen]
Jeff: Yessir, that's New Deal Used Cars... Now wait just a Goddamn minute. What the hell is this? Is this a 1974 Mercedes 450SL for *twenty-four thousand dollars*? That's too fucking high.
[blows up car with dynamite. Roy watches at home]
Roy: You sonova bitch.
Jeff: [laughs] Yessir. We blew the shit out of that over-priced motherfucker just the way we blow the shit out of *all* high prices, down here at New Deal Used Cars. So y'all come on down. Did you hear what I said? New Deal Used Cars. So y'all come on down. Did you hear what I said?
[TV cuts back to President]
President Carter: I have heard you, with unmistakable clarity...
Roy: You sonova bitch.
[kicks TV and electrocutes himself]

[Jeff digs up mud, and accidentally dumps it on Roy's shoes]
Roy L. Fuchs: Now aren't you a little big to be playing in the fucking mud?

Rudy: Luke told me that if you came around here to have you arrested for trespassing. Now, are you going to leave, or are we going to have to call the cops?
Jeff: Yeah, do we have to call the cops?
Roy L. Fuchs: What are you, a fucking parrot?
Sam Slaton: Come on, Roy. Let's go.
Roy L. Fuchs: Suck-ass son of a bitch.

Mickey: [Luke's just explained he heard from his long lost daughter] I know how ya feel, Old Man. I had a dog once... ran away... only she got hit by a truck. Now what's the story on this '57 Chev here, uh $2400? C'mon, you gotta be jackin' me!
Luke Fuchs: [proudly] Now son, you're lookin' at one of the finest automobiles on this lot. Y'know, I rebuilt that engine with my own two hands.
Mickey: [skeptically] Does it run?
Luke Fuchs: Does it run? Like a dream.
Mickey: Well Old Man... for $2400, it better run like a *wet* dream.