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Quotes for
Howie Blitzer (Character)
from L.I.E. (2001)

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L.I.E. (2001)
Howie: On the Long Island Expressway there are lanes going east, lanes going west, and lanes going straight to hell.

[Laying on the ground as a woman passes by]
Kevin Cole: Her dress is so short, you can see her clint.
Brian: What?
Kevin Cole: Her clint, it's in her pussy.
Howie: You mean "clit."
Kevin Cole: Fuck you, I mean like... clintasaurus.
Howie: It's clitoris, you fuckin' idiot.
Kevin Cole: It's a CLINT.
Brian: Yeah, like you can see Clint Eastwood in her pussy.

Counselor: Just so you know, I know you're different, okay.
Howie: Different ?
Counselor: You're not a nerd, you're not a jock, you're not a scholar or a romeo.
Howie: Or a gangsta.
Counselor: Or a clown.
Howie: So what am I then ?
Counselor: You are a Howie Blitzer.
Howie: My own category, wow.

Big John Harrigan: And if I was a spy, what would you think of me then ?
Howie: Well, I'd think that you are just like James Bond except James Bond doesn't go around blowing boys.

[first lines]
Howie: L.I.E. Long Island Expressway. You got the lanes going east, and you got the lanes going west. And you also got the lanes going straight to hell. Lot of people died on it. Harry Chapin, Alan Pakula, the movie director. You probably heard of them. But you never heard of Sylvia Blitzer, my mom. She died on a crash on Exit 52. I really miss her. It's taken a lot of people and I hope it doesn't get me.

[last lines]
Howie: L.I.E. Long Island Expressway. You got the lanes going east, and you got the lanes going west. And you also got the lanes going straight to hell. Lot of people died on it. Harry Chapin, Alan Pakula, the movie director. Sylvia Blitzer, my mom. But I'm not gonna let it get me.

Howie: You fuckin' arrogant prick!

Howie: [sitting in police station waiting room] What if no one comes for me?
Desk Sergeant: [distracted] What?
Howie: What if no one comes for me?
Desk Sergeant: [smirks] I guess we'll have to put you in jail then.
[chuckles]