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Quotes for
Suzanne (Character)
from "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" (2006)

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"Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: B-12 (#1.10)" (2006)
Danny Tripp: You'll learn. Did you read Martha O'Dell's column on Tuesday?
Suzanne: Yes.
Danny Tripp: Do you agree it's terrible that she sourced an anonymous web post to support her point?
Suzanne: I liked the piece.
Danny Tripp: Never disagree with me.
Suzanne: It made me sick.

Danny Tripp: Took a lot of convincing, but Suzanne's agreed to be your assistant.
Matt Albie: Yeah?
Suzanne: If you'll take me.
Matt Albie: I'll take the hell outta ya.
Suzanne: Is there a way you'd like me to dress?
Matt Albie: Sure, but I have to wake up for school now.
Danny Tripp: Tell Karen to draw you two hundred dollars from petty cash and buy some nice work clothes.
Suzanne: Two hundred dollars?
Danny Tripp: It's on us.
Suzanne: Am I working for Matt in 1963?

Suzanne: You both need to get B-12 shots from the nurse.
Matt Albie: I've had mine and Danny can't have one.
Danny Tripp: Why not?
Matt Albie: Memo said you can't have the shot if you're pregnant.
Danny Tripp: Yeah.
Matt Albie: Seriously, it can be dangerous if you're pregnant.
Danny Tripp: I'm not pregnant.
Matt Albie: Have you checked? You're been pretty hormonal.
Danny Tripp: It's testosterone.
Matt Albie: It's Estrogen. Suzanne, why don't you get Danny one of those little kits - you probably keep a bunch in your car.
Danny Tripp: [to Suzanne] He's trying to get a riff going. Don't feed the fire and it will go out.
Matt Albie: One more thing...
Danny Tripp: What?
Matt Albie: You can't get that shot if you're pregnant.
Danny Tripp: You know Chevy Chase woke up one day, and he just wasn't funny any more.


"Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Monday (#1.12)" (2007)
Matt Albie: [believes Luke Scott is bidding on a date with Harriett for a Women United Through Faith online charity auction] Bid $501!
Suzanne: Really?
Matt Albie: Yes
Suzanne: $501?
Matt Albie: I am not giving these people any more money than I have to, bid $501!
Suzanne: Any choice of user name?
Matt Albie: Make something up.
Suzanne: [typing] Boss... sexy.
Matt Albie: NOT Boss Sexy!
Suzanne: Ahh, too late!

Matt Albie: Lukes5858, is he still bidding?
Suzanne: He's the last bid, $1200.
Matt Albie: $1200 I gotta give to abstinence people?
Suzanne: $1201?
Matt Albie: [pause] Alright, do it. And can you find me some non-profit organization that fundamentally does the opposite of what these guys do so I can donate an equal amount to them and make it a wash?
Suzanne: That means an organization that encourages people to have sex.
Matt Albie: It's L.A! You should be able to throw a rock and hit one!


"Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: The Christmas Show (#1.11)" (2006)
Matt Albie: What the heck happened to my tree?
Suzanne: I was drying my socks.


"Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: The West Coast Delay (#1.4)" (2006)
Suzanne: Ms. McDeer, Jack Rudolph on the phone.
Jordan McDeere: [taking the phone] My boyfriend's calling me.
[to phone]
Jordan McDeere: Hey Jack!
Jack Rudolph: What the hell is going on over there?
Jordan McDeere: It's all under control, plus if you had any money on the Bangalore Union Cricket club, then its your lucky day.


"Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: The Harriet Dinner: Part I (#1.13)" (2007)
Matt Albie: [bidding on a date with Harriet that supports abstinence groups] Bid $5301!
Suzanne: And $5302 for the sex club?
Matt Albie: It's not a sex club, it's a group that supports polyamourous sexual activity with multiple partners... not sure what that is, but I'm pretty sure it upsets the abstinence people.
Suzanne: They want to give you an award at their next dinner.
[pause]
Suzanne: I should tell them no?
Matt Albie: Meh, an award's an award.


"Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Pilot (#1.1)" (2006)
Suzanne: We're blowing off 4-A.
Lilly: You're kidding.
Suzanne: No.
Lilly: It killed at Dress. It was smart!
Cal Shanley: It never had a chance. What are we filling with?
Suzanne: 'Peripheral Vision Man.'
Cal Shanley: Ricky and Ron are just going to keep writing that one until somebody laughs, huh? What was the time on 4-A?
Lilly: 4:10.
Cal Shanley: What's the time on 'Peripheral Vision Man'?
Lilly: 3:45.
Cal Shanley: All right, tell the writer's room they're going to have to strecth it another twenty-five seconds, and I'm sure that making it longer was the missing ingredient in making it funny.