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: [Matt has brought a small, misshapen Christmas tree into the writer's room
] That happens to be a noble fir, they grow to 10 feet tall. Darius Hawthorne
: Yeah, I don't think that one's gonna make it.
: Screw Christmas? Not on my watch! Look, I hate Los Angeles like everybody else but I have to work here 'cause in any other part of the country I'm unemployable so we are going to deck the halls with boughs of holly. I wanna hear sketch ideas with Santa and Rudolph and chestnuts and burning logs. Darius Hawthorne
: We could set the... Matt Albie
: Shut up!
: [while Andy reads a new sketch
] What do you think? Andy Mackinaw
: I'm on page 2 and I still don't know what it's about. Darius Hawthorne
: See, it's about the world's dumbest criminal who takes hostages in a bank... Andy Mackinaw
: 'Kay, well you're going to have to explain it to everybody in the audience exactly like that, because I'm on page 2 and I still don't know what it's about.
: [after Darius and Lucy's sketch receives absolutely no laughs at the dress rehearsal
] Yep... That's what tanking is like. Lucy Kenwright
: That was unbearable. Was that really only 3 minutes? Andy Mackinaw
: Actually it ran short. No one had to hold for laughter. Darius Hawthorne
: Come on, let's get out of here. Andy Mackinaw
: Wait here a minute. Darius Hawthorne
: For what? Andy Mackinaw
: The metaphor. Andy Mackinaw
: [Darius suddenly has a door thrown right in his face by a person running out of the studio
] Okay, come on.
: [finishing typing the script
] I'm finished. Ricky Tahoe
: It's done? Lucy Kenwright
: I meant with my career. Ricky Tahoe
: That's just not true.
] Ricky Tahoe
: Plus, if things don't work out for you here, you can always go back and write for Benny Hill Lucy Kenwright
: Bite me. Ricky Tahoe
: Give me a kiss. Lucy Kenwright
: I don't think so. Matt Albie
: [walking into the room
[Lucy walks over to Matt and kisses him full on the mouth
] Lucy Kenwright
: [to Ricky
] That was to be mean to you. Goodbye!
[exits, Darius behind
] Matt Albie
: [to Darius
] You just keep on walking! Darius Hawthorne
: Yes sir!