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: Where's your Mom? Marty Coslaw
: She and Dad are out back lighting the barbeque, yeah, and Jane's walking around in all these new clothes showing off her tits, acting like no one ever had tits before her.
: You wanna know what I think? Marty Coslaw
: No, we just called you out here to admire your pretty little face. Uncle Red
: You better watch your mouth, right now. You're on thin ice with me, son.
: You know who used to have a baseball bat like that? Mr. Knopfler. Uncle Red
: So? Jane Coslaw
: It looked like Bigfoot had used it for a toothpick!
: I mean, uh, what the heck you gonna shoot a .44 bullet at anyway... made out of silver? Mac
: How about a werewolf?
: I feel like a virgin on prom night.
: Holy jumped-up baldheaded Jesus palomino! Jane Coslaw
: Uncle Red... Uncle Red
: [to Jane then Marty then Jane again
] From him I'd expect it. Sometimes I think your common sense got paralyzed along with your legs. But from you, Jane - you're Miss Polly Practical! Jane Coslaw
: You don't understand. Uncle Red
: I understand that my niece and my nephew are sending little love notes to the local minister suggesting he gargle with broken glass or eat a rat-poison omelette!
: [after Jane and Marty tell him about the werewolf
] I'm a little too old to be playing "Hardy Boys meet Reverend Werewolf"!
: There are no such things as werewolves!
: [trying to explain having a silver bullet made
] My nephew has just discovered the Lone Ranger.