Bonnie Barstow
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Quotes for
Bonnie Barstow (Character)
from "Knight Rider" (1982)

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"Knight Rider: The Topaz Connection (#1.16)" (1983)
Photographer: I hardly recognized you with your clothes on!
Bonnie Barstow: What did you say?
Photographer: Didn't I shoot you last year - Miss June?
Devon Miles: I think you've got the wrong young lady... or the wrong month.

Bonnie Barstow: I've programmed KITT with everything imaginable on Royce's publishing empire, along with all the past issues of Escape magazine.
Michael Knight: Including the centerfolds?
Bonnie Barstow: I anticipated your every need.

Michael Knight: The story have a title?
Devon Miles: Well, he referred to it by codename: Topaz.
Michael Knight: Did you run that through the computers?
Bonnie Barstow: Nothing. The word doesn't seem to connect to anything in Royce's personal or corporate life. It is however a birth stone... mine.
Michael Knight: [stuttering] Eh... November 24. I'm sorry, I forgot your birthday didn't I?

"Knight Rider: Knight & Knerd (#3.18)" (1985)
Bonnie Barstow: That beam melted poor K.I.T.T.'s tire like it was a piece of ordinary rubber.
K.I.T.T.: Yes, and it was most embarrassing.

Bonnie Barstow: Michael Knight, allow me to introduce Elliott Sykes.
Elliott Sykes: That's, eh, Elliott with two ll's and two t's, like in latitudinal

Devon Miles: [Devon is dismayed at spotting broken crockery on the floor] My beautiful Wedgewood service!
Bonnie Barstow: Elliott was just showing me how to brew tea by computer.
Elliott Sykes: Sorry, eh, normally it's mega efficient.

"Knight Rider: Knight of the Drones (#3.1)" (1984)
Michael Knight: It's like old times, huh?
Bonnie Barstow: Don't kid yourself.

Bonnie Barstow: Kitt, I'm gonna make you as good as new. No, I'm gonna make you better.

Bonnie Barstow: You're still tall.
Michael Knight: You're still beautiful.

"Knight Rider: Trust Doesn't Rust (#1.9)" (1982)
Michael Knight: Why wasn't I told about the other car?
Devon Miles: Oh, Michael please.
Michael Knight: No Michael please, I had a right to know.
Devon Miles: Yes you did. Let me explain. Six months before we found you in the desert, near death, Wilton activated what was probably the crowning achievement of his life.
Michael Knight: KITT.
Devon Miles: No, KARR. K-A-R-R.
Michael Knight: What's KARR?
Devon Miles: The Knight Automated Roving Robot. That was Wilton's title for his prototype vehicle.
Michael Knight: I think I like KITT better.
Devon Miles: You can say that again. Now, KITT's primary function is to serve you. To protect you from harm.
Bonnie Barstow: But KARR had no such programming. Instead, it's primary fuction is self-preservation.
Michael Knight: And that was a mistake?
Devon Miles: A major one. Consider the circumstances, just as Wilton realized he made a mistake by not programming KARR properly, he company was virtually toppled from within by the same people that left you for dead on that desert highway. As we struggled to save your life, and I attempted to build a safer car, the earlier model was put in storage. I thought Wilton had it dismantled before he died. But, I was wrong.
Michael Knight: Ok, I'm sorry. But I still don't see how one computer program can make all that much difference.
Bonnie Barstow: Michael, KITT's primary function to protect human life, is for one of a better word, altruistic.
Devon Miles: But KARR without that program is self-serving. Almost animalistic in nature. Being devoid of a conscience, it's potentially dangerous. If the people who now have it, misuse it. Program it with information that it considers threatening, they could create a menace that would quickly grow beyond their control.
Michael Knight: Devon?
Devon Miles: Yes, Michael?
Michael Knight: I think we should get that car back.

KARR: KITT, I am warning you. Change course at once!
KITT: I am not in control, KARR.
KARR: Then tell the humans to turn away. This is folly, KITT.
Bonnie Barstow: He's right.
KITT: He's right.
Michael Knight: No way.
KITT: Michael, what are you doing?
Michael Knight: Remember Zeno and that immovable object thing? We're about to find out that answer.
KARR: Your lives mean nothing to me!
KITT: Michael, please. Pardon the expression, but he does have a few screws loose. Turn. KARR doesn't have my programming to protect human life.
Michael Knight: That's what I'm counting on, buddy.
Bonnie Barstow: What?
KITT: Michael, I cannot allow you to jeopardize your life. I am assuming control.
[engages Auto Cruise Mode]
Michael Knight: No, you're not, KITT!
[presses Normal Function button]
Bonnie Barstow: Michael, you know all those times I've called you irresponsible and impulsive? I didn't mean it.
Michael Knight: Bonnie, remember all those times I called you bossy and demanding? I didn't mean it, either.
KITT: Michael, Bonnie...
Michael Knight, Bonnie Barstow: Yes, KITT?
KITT: Why are you lying to each other?
KARR: Turn away. Turn away.
[KARR swerves away from KITT and jumps off a cliff]
[crashes and explodes into the ocean]

"Knight Rider: Inside Out (#1.10)" (1982)
Michael Knight: Hi.
Bonnie Barstow: I was so worried, are you all right?
Michael Knight: Yeah, I'm ok, I got a couple of bruises.
Bonnie Barstow: [completely ignoring Michael] How are your shocks? Are you still in alignment?
KITT: Everything's is in proper order, Bonnie, but thank you for your concern.
Bonnie Barstow: Oh K.I.T.T., that's sweet, but let me check anyway, your surveillance scanners might need adjustment.

Bonnie Barstow: [having just finished refurbishing K.I.T.T] He's all set to go. Right now there's only one thing wrong with this car.
Michael Knight: Yeah, I know...
[together with Bonnie, in a loud monotone chant]
Michael Knight: The-nut-behind-the-wheel.
[in a humorously disgusted undertone]
Michael Knight: Oh, that's funny... that's VERY funny.

"Knight Rider: Knight in Retreat (#3.20)" (1985)
Bonnie Barstow: Actually the Foundation was thinking of adopting Sheeba as a pet.
K.I.T.T.: You have to be kidding!
Michael Knight: Hey, we have a K.I.T.T... Why not have a cat?
[Sheeba roars]
K.I.T.T.: Very funny!

Bonnie Barstow: So this is the Retreat huh?
Michael Knight: Was, past tense. It's all over now.
Bonnie Barstow: But it was great while it lasted, huh?
Michael Knight: Oh, come on, Bonnie, what's so great about beautiful women running around in bikini's catering to your every need?
Bonnie Barstow: I don't know. You tell me.
Michael Knight: You got a couple of hours?

"Knight Rider: Circus Knights (#3.22)" (1985)
Bonnie Barstow: [in the audience at the circus] I have to admit, Devon, he looks fantastic.
Devon Miles: Yes. In spite of that ridiculous outfit he's wearing.
Bonnie Barstow: No, I'm talking about K.I.T.T.!

Devon Miles: Did I ever tell you about the time that I...
Bonnie Barstow: [interrupting] You went undercover in occupied France as Valentino the knife thrower.

"Knight Rider: Sky Knight (#4.4)" (1985)
Michael Knight: Bonnie, flying is safer than driving a car.
[into his comlink]
Michael Knight: Tell her, K.I.T.T.
K.I.T.T.: It may be safer than traveling by automobile, Michael, but there is no doubt that air travel is one of the most unnatural modes of transportation ever devised by the mind of man.
Michael Knight: Oh, thanks a lot, you've really helped.
Bonnie Barstow: It's not K.I.T.T.'s fault, Michael, he was programmed to be afraid of flying.
Michael Knight: Aha, but you were the programmer.

Michael Knight: What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
Bonnie Barstow: I was just about to ask you the same thing.

"Knight Rider: Out of the Woods (#4.14)" (1986)
Devon Miles: Last time we came here to a party, the guests danced on tables until sunrise. It took me two days to recover.
Bonnie Barstow: You must have taken someone else. Devon, I think I would've remembered you dancing on a table.
Devon Miles: Really?

"Knight Rider: Halloween Knight (#3.5)" (1984)
Michael Knight: [seeing the outbuilding's door banging noisily and then creaking open slowly, revealing a wildly-swinging hanging lamp inside with a thick fringe of cobwebs wreathing the edge of its large conical metal shade] Someone's got a real morbid sense of humor.
Bonnie Barstow: [in a wary, apprehensive tone] I wouldn't go that far.
Michael Knight: Morbid?
Bonnie Barstow: Sense of humor!

"Knight Rider: A Nice, Indecent Little Town (#1.17)" (1983)
Devon Miles: Well, now that Aunt Martha is back at the helm of the Halleluja press again, she wanted each of you to have a keepsake.
Bonnie Barstow: Ah, a bible.
Michael Knight: Hey, that's nice.
Bonnie Barstow: Beautiful, isn't it?
Devon Miles: Yes, quite. And informative.
K.I.T.T.: May I ask who programmed it?
Michael Knight: [Michael, Devon and Bonnie laugh awkwardly] Well, that's, eh, kind of a long story, Kitt.
K.I.T.T.: That's all right, Michael, I have plenty of time.

"Knight Rider: Short Notice (#1.22)" (1983)
Michael Knight: Harold T. Turner is a hard guy, so what? We've been up against hard guys before.
Devon Miles: Turner is much more than a hard guy, Michael. As ex-president of the Satan's Stompers motorcycle club he has at his disposal over 300 hard guys, not to mention whatever other resources his various underworld activities provide.
Bonnie Barstow: He's right, Michael. According to the federal investigation the Satan's Stompers have developed extensive ties with criminal organizations. It's not like Peter Fonda riding around on a chopped Harley with a heart of gold underneath two days growth of beard.

"Knight Rider: Knight of the Juggernaut (#4.1)" (1985)
Bonnie Barstow: [Bonnie has found the cheapest garage available] It belongs to RC3's father.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Yeah.
Michael Knight: Don't tell me: RC2.

"Knight Rider: The Ice Bandits (#3.3)" (1984)
Devon Miles: This is delicious wine! So sorry you can't have any, K.I.T.T.
K.I.T.T.: That's okay, Devon - - I never need wine to feel good about myself.
Bonnie Barstow: Here's the painting that Jody made of Kit!
K.I.T.T.: [catching a glimpse of the painting and seeing to his pride-bruised dismay that it's a lovely portrait of THE DONKEY, not of him] On second thought, Devon... maybe a glass of wine IS what I need now!

"Knight Rider: Nobody Does It Better (#1.21)" (1983)
K.I.T.T.: [having just beaten Bonnie at a video game] Sorry Bonnie, would you like to try again?
Bonnie Barstow: No thank you, Kitt. You know how low my resistance is. I don't want to get hooked on 'Space Cadet'.
K.I.T.T.: Whatever you say, Bonnie. However I'd like to point out that this a game of skill, designed not only to challenge ones hand-eye coordination, but to stimulate strategic thinking as well.
Bonnie Barstow: As long as you put it that way, one more quickly.

"Knight Rider: Knight by a Nose (#3.13)" (1985)
Michael Knight: K.I.T.T...
Bonnie Barstow: Did you bet a horse?
Devon Miles: With Foundation money?
K.I.T.T.: Michael, I was just trying to bail out your auto currency statement. Statistically, I couldn't lose.
Devon Miles: That's what they all say.
K.I.T.T.: Michael, can I ask you a favor?
Michael Knight: [leans closer] Yeah partner, what is it?
K.I.T.T.: Lend me 20 dollars?

"Knight Rider: No Big Thing (#1.8)" (1982)
Michael Knight: Devon's busted? Come on, that's ridiculous.
Bonnie Barstow: [on phone] Unfortunately it also happens to be true.
Michael Knight: What did they get him for? Assault with a deadly crumpet?

"Knight Rider: Knight Song (#4.11)" (1985)
Bonnie Barstow: [Josh, Michael and RC have all been beaten up] This looks like the graduating class of the Tex Cobb school of boxing.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Not funny.
Josh Bevin: I don't know, I give it about a five and a half.
Michael Knight: I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting sick and tired of being a victim.

"Knight Rider: Knight Behind Bars (#4.10)" (1985)
Bonnie Barstow: [Michael busts Bonnie out of a solitary cell] Five minutes more in there I think I'd be off the deep end.
Christine Brooks: Think how you'll feel after five years.

"Knight Rider: Hearts of Stone (#1.14)" (1983)
K.I.T.T.: Bonnie, ai-yee! Ay que chula.
Bonnie Barstow: [giggles] Why thank you, Kitt.
Michael Knight: Show off.

"Knight Rider: Junk Yard Dog (#3.14)" (1985)
Bonnie Barstow: K.I.T.T., what's the square root of 256 and the capitol of Montanna?
K.I.T.T.: Bonnie, really.
Bonnie Barstow: K.I.T.T., do you know the answer?
K.I.T.T.: Can Michael Jackson moonwalk?

"Knight Rider: Ten Wheel Trouble (#3.19)" (1985)
Michael Knight: You might say that Bonnie is K.I.T.T.'s mother. She takes care of him with all the maternal love and the ferocity of a tigress.
Bonnie Barstow: [laughs awkwardly] Michael's kidding. Eh, K.I.T.T. is his, I just put him back together again.
Devon Miles: And Michael gives her a great many opportunities to do so.

"Knight Rider: Fright Knight (#4.20)" (1986)
Michael Knight: [via video phone] Bonnie, put RC on will ya, I need him out here on this one.
Bonnie Barstow: Oh RC, what about me, Michael you know how much I love Westerns.
Michael Knight: [impersonating John Wayne] Well, I know, pilgrim. Maybe I can get you one of those gutsy Maureen O'Hara roles.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: You know Michael, you do a great Jimmy Stewart.
K.I.T.T.: Very funny.

"Knight Rider: The Wrong Crowd (#4.6)" (1985)
Bonnie Barstow: Now I know how Michael felt when K.I.T.T. was destroyed. Like half of me is missing.
Nicholas Arkett: Well Bonnie, the, the half that's here's kinda neat.

"Knight Rider: Chariot of Gold (#1.18)" (1983)
Bonnie Barstow: Devon, I never seen you so excited.
Devon Miles: Not every day one is inducted into so prestigious a society as Helios. Why is it that when one is in a hurry, ones tie never seems to go right.
Bonnie Barstow: I think it's called Devon's first law of nervousness.

"Knight Rider: Knight Racer (#4.9)" (1985)
Devon Miles: What do you want me to do?
Bonnie Barstow: Lend me Michael. He can get to the bottom of this.

"Knight Rider: Just My Bill (#1.6)" (1982)
K.I.T.T.: Bonnie, with those hands, you should have been a surgeon.
Bonnie Barstow: That's what my dad always said. I had to practically slash my wrists to convince him I couldn't stand the sight of blood.
Michael Knight: Medicine's loss, our gain.

"Knight Rider: Knight Sting (#4.7)" (1985)
Bonnie Barstow: [posing as Alicia Craven-Hall] I can't tell you how pleased I am to find a man who shares at least one of my passions.
Simon Carascas: And we'll soon find out if you share one of mine. I am obsessed by authenticity.

"Knight Rider: Many Happy Returns (#4.8)" (1985)
Bonnie Barstow: If this works, I'm gonna put sorcery on my resumé.
Michael Knight: You've always been a magician to me.

"Knight Rider: A Plush Ride (#1.12)" (1982)
K.I.T.T.: Why do you suppose they excluded me, Bonnie?
Bonnie Barstow: I don't know, K.I.T.T.
[slams K.I.T.T.'s hood shut]
Bonnie Barstow: But don't take it personaly.
K.I.T.T.: I won't. You know I can't take anything personally.

"Knight Rider: Redemption of a Champion (#4.16)" (1986)
Bonnie Barstow: K.I.T.T's broken down the components of a smell he picked up on it's old factory scan. It's a micture of natural gas and, eh 'Avec Moi', a perfume.
Devon Miles: Expensive, but not uncommon.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: How can a perfume cause an explosion?

"Knight Rider: K.I.T.T. vs. K.A.R.R. (#3.6)" (1984)
Devon Miles: Michael, do what you need to do, but please be careful.
Michael Knight: Right.
Bonnie Barstow: If anything happens to KITT...
Michael Knight: Love you, too.
[blows a kiss and grins at Bonnie]

"Knight Rider: Killer K.I.T.T. (#4.13)" (1986)
Michael Knight: [using his new comlink while rinding RC's bike] Tell RC his bike's running just fine. I'll take good care of his pride and joy.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: You hear that Bonnie? My 'pile of junk' is humming along.
Bonnie Barstow: I heard RC. Michael also said he'd take good care of it. And you know how he takes care of equipment.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Oh, my wheels!

"Knight Rider: Deadly Maneuvers (#1.3)" (1982)
Bonnie Barstow: What's wrong with you?
K.I.T.T.: It's my alpha circuit, Bonnie.
Bonnie Barstow: Your alpha circuit? Kitt, the only way you could damage that is to do something stupid like... towing another car. Right?
K.I.T.T.: Bonnie? No comment.
Michael Knight: You're one in a million, pal.
K.I.T.T.: I know.

"Knight Rider: Give Me Liberty... or Give Me Death (#1.15)" (1983)
Michael Knight: Em, listen, when you finish up work tonight, how about you and I going out for a little dinner?
Bonnie Barstow: I'd love to Michael, but I'm spending the night with Kitt.
Michael Knight: Oh well, you two have a real good time.
Bonnie Barstow: [sits down] First I have to recharge his components, then I have to convert the engine to run on liquid hydrogine, then I have to flush his systems... and adjust his timing.
Michael Knight: Recharge his components? Flush his system? Kitt, don't you dare take advantage of her tonight.
K.I.T.T.: I won't.
Bonnie Barstow: Would you get out of here, you yo-yo!
[Michael leaves]
Bonnie Barstow: Kitt, I hope you're not picking up his warped sense of humor.
Bonnie Barstow: I'm trying my best not to.