Michael Knight
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Quotes for
Michael Knight (Character)
from "Knight Rider" (1982)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Knight Rider: Goliath: Part 1 (#2.1)" (1983)
KITT: It wasn't a fair fight, April. It's like putting Sugar Ray in the ring against a overgrown heavyweight.
April Curtis: I'm sure it was KITT.
KITT: It won't happen again I can assure you of that.
April Curtis: It better not! We have you patched together with scotch tape and bailing wire as it is.
KITT: [Referring to Goliath] If I ever see that snout-nosed ignoramus again...
Michael Knight: You better hope he is heading in the opposite direction.
KITT: I'm already reviewing my computer logs of our confrontation. In a matter of hours I will know everything there is to know about that banana-headed bovine!
Michael Knight: You tell 'em KITT!

Garthe Knight: Michael Knight is a living, breathing, insult to my existence.

Michael Knight: Now I know what getting run over by a truck really feels like.
KITT: [strained voice box] Michael, my computer functions are damaged, so I can't make a diagnosis, but you sound terrible. You need a doctor.

Michael Knight: Kitt, look at it this way: gambling is all odds. Pure mathematics. Come on, I'll show ya.
[pushes some buttons]
KITT: I'd rather not.
Michael Knight: Little computer Blackjack, dollar a hand. I'm the house, you're the player.
KITT: I believe the word is 'sucker'.

Michael Knight: [taking a look at Kitt's Emergency Schematic Blueprint] This looks like Greek to me.
KITT: I beg your pardon?
Michael Knight: That's just a phrase... that's just a phrase...

Michael Knight: [Kitt has won the first round of Blackjack] They call that beginners luck, pal.
KITT: As I understand it, the phrase is 'Shut up and deal'.

Michael Knight: [still struggling with Kitt's Emergency Schematic Blueprint] And I thought putting a barbeque together was hard...
KITT: Michael, I've never felt this way before...
Michael Knight: That makes two of us.
KITT: I mean so vulnerable, so... mortal. Do you think it's possible I could cease to exist?
Michael Knight: If I don't get you running pretty soon, you can put money on it.

Michael Knight: What did Wilton Knight do, restructure my face in Garthe's image?
Devon Miles: Well, he was certain, as we all were, that Garthe's would never be seen by anybody again.

Tsombe Kuna: [indicating Goliath] A miracle of American technology.
[laughs]
Garthe Knight: If this is anyone's miracle, it's mine.

Elizabeth Knight: I was hoping your brush with life imprisonment would teach you something about discipline.
Garthe Knight: Discipline has never been a problem, mother dear. Mark my words: Michael Knight will die. After all, he was designed by my late, great father to replace me, wasn't he? How could I possibly tolerate his life on this Earth?

Garthe Knight: No one tells me how to proceed with Red Bluff. My mother doesn't and you don't. Without me you'd still be in the bush, dodging speeders
Tsombe Kuna: Without me you'd still be rotting in jail. So you see we are mutually indebted to each other.

KITT: Michael, the phrase 'yes and no' is an insult to the precision of the English language.
Michael Knight: [laughs] That's why I like it.

Garthe Knight: This is kidnapping.
Devon Miles: [pointing a gun at Garthe] A relative term. Under the circumstances I think your late father would have approved.

Elizabeth Knight: I believe you two already know each other?
Devon Miles: Yes. It's been quite some time. Before your African experience.
Garthe Knight: You know you're amazingly like my late father. Perhaps that's why I dislike you so.
Devon Miles: Garthe, I came here to reason with you and your mother.
Garthe Knight: It's too late for reason, Mr. Miles. It's too late for anything but war. Our victory, your defeat. And you will be defeated. You, the Foundation for Law and Government and Michael Knight. Especially Michael Knight.

KITT: Michael, I'm getting a reading about a mile further down the road.
Michael Knight: Alright, what you got?
KITT: People, an RV, a large plane and - Michael, that brute, that misserable mechanical masher, he's there too. Three to one he won't brutalize me again. Four to one!
Michael Knight: Ok pal. We're on.

Garthe Knight: I'm please you'll be here to witness my penultimate glory.
Michael Knight: You know, it's people like you who give revolution a bad name.
Garthe Knight: This isn't revolution, it's a personal conquest.
Michael Knight: That's what I mean.
Garthe Knight: Ah, a man of principle. Able to my Cain, my brother.

Garthe Knight: I look forward to sharing so many things with you. After all, we have so much in common: our surname, our faces, my father, why not our future?
Michael Knight: What's that supposed to mean?
Garthe Knight: On conclusion of my mission I'm returning to Africa. You're coming with me.
Michael Knight: Garthe, you're out of your mind.
Garthe Knight: No, but you may be. You see, African prisons can have that effect on a man's mind.
Michael Knight: Prison?
Garthe Knight: Precisely. The same hell-hole I was subjected to while my father turned his back on me and gave you everything that was rightfully mine.

Michael Knight: Kitt, how big is that weak spot, where the trailer and tractor connect?
KITT: [showing it on his viewscreen and highlighting the area] No larger than a quarter.
Michael Knight: Even David had a bigger target when he went after Goliath.


"Knight Rider: Knight of the Phoenix: Part 1 (#1.1)" (1982)
[Michael Knight has just gotten his first view of KITT's interior]
Michael Knight: Looks like Darth Vader's bathroom.

[Devon and Michael are celebrating the successful first mission]
Devon Miles: Shall we drink to what is the start of...
Michael Knight: Of what?
Devon Miles: One Man's dream
Michael Knight: And to our future. No matter who it may take us up against or where.

[Michael insists on going after Tayna, despite a serious gunshot wound]
Devon Miles: KITT, can he make it?
K.I.T.T.: You want the truth, in front of him?
Michael Knight: If I'm going down, I'm taking them with me!

Michael Knight: You are about as much fun as a divorce, which is not a bad idea!
K.I.T.T.: I want custody of me!

Michael Knight: What are you guys up to, people sneaking in and out of here at all hours of the day and night?
Devon Miles: Look at who's talking.

Michael Knight: [feeling K.I.T.T.'s hood under the impression that it's his own Pontiac] What's this, a new paint job? It feels like baby skin.

Michael Knight: Oh, and I want you to know something: I kinda got to like you.
Devon Miles: What?
Michael Knight: Never mind. What's that mean coming from a primitive anyway?

Michael Knight: Why do I get the feeling this isn't gonna be the last time I run into trouble in this town?

Michael Knight: Maggie!
Maggie: Get lost! I'm warning you, this bag is full of mace.
Michael Knight: I stayed in my car so I wouldn't scare you.
Maggie: Well ain't you the David Niven?

Buddy: I wonder what this button...
Michael Knight: Don't start pushing things, I don't even know what those things do!

Michael Knight: [on payphone in jail] What are we going to do?
Devon Miles: We? That's wonderful, a couple of days ago you practically drove over my foot to be on your own.

Carney Miller: I wanna know what that machine of yours is made of.
Michael Knight: Sit and spin.

Michael Knight: I've spend years of my life fighting criminals of one type or another who always had the upper hand and now this. That's a loner's dream come true. It's been handed to me on a silver platter. The world's most fantastic car. All the money and all the resources of the Knight Foundation. And most of all the best chance I'll ever get to prove that one man really can make a difference.

[Michael hears K.I.T.T.'s voice for the first time]
Michael Knight: Might as well put on some music. All these weird gadgets, you'd think they'd give you a radio.
K.I.T.T.: What would you like to hear?

Michael Long: [communicating via earpiece] Muntzy, be careful...
Muntzy: Hey, hey, I got ten years on ya, buddy. I'm the original man of steel. You're the one I'm worried about, you're in that bed of snakes.


"Knight Rider: Dead of Knight (#3.9)" (1984)
K.I.T.T.: Michael, do you know what I think you could use right now?
Michael Knight: The antidote.
K.I.T.T.: Aside from that.
Michael Knight: Don't tell me. A little stress relief.
K.I.T.T.: Very well, since you insist.
[K.I.T.T. produces the sound of a drum roll, Michael groans loudly]
K.I.T.T.: When I was a kid...
Michael Knight: You were never a kid!
K.I.T.T.: Not now, Michael, I'm on a roll. Now when I was a kid, we were so poor... Michael?
Michael Knight: Al right... how poor were you?
K.I.T.T.: We couldn't afford cheese to bait the mouse trap.
Michael Knight: Another mouse joke?
K.I.T.T.: Please, no heckling. Anyway, we had to cut out a picture of cheese for bait.
Michael Knight: So, what happened?
K.I.T.T.: We caught a picture of a mouse.
[another drum roll and another big groan]
K.I.T.T.: Michael, what is it, are you in pain?
Michael Knight: No, it's your jokes, they're killing me!

K.I.T.T.: Michael! What on Earth is this?
[a pumped up bodybuilder walks by]
Michael Knight: [laughs] looks like the boardwalk Arnold Schwarzenegger.
K.I.T.T.: And what exactly is an Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Michael Knight: Well, what do we have here?
[a bearded man in army fatigues arrives on the scene]
Michael Knight: The resident Fidel Castro.

K.I.T.T.: The other night I was parked in a garage that was so small, the mice were hunchbacked.
Michael Knight: K.I.T.T., that is terrible.
K.I.T.T.: Michael is my act dying?
Michael Knight: No, but it's nog going to Vegas, either.

Michael Knight: [Michael hears the motor of a car] K.I.T.T., is that someone coming or going?
Rosemary: It's Rosemary. And why are you talking to your arm?
Michael Knight: [responding through comlink] It's a van, Michael loaded and getting ready to leave the premises.
Rosemary: [as Michael runs off] Come back any time?

Michele: What can I get you?
Michael Knight: Orange juice. Fresh if you got any.
Michele: Sure you can handle it?
Michael Knight: Yeah, I can handle it.

Michael Knight: You're telling me you had no idea that Sonny was selling poisoned chemicals?
Rosemary: Do I look like a chemist? I can barely type!

Michael Knight: K.I.T.T., Renard is in to this up to his geraniums.

Michael Knight: Al right, K.I.T.T., let's haul him in. Before he gives garbage a bad name.

K.I.T.T.: [Michael is succumbing to geranium poisoning] Michael!
Michael Knight: Huh?
K.I.T.T.: A friend of mine flew to Las Vegas yesterday and boy are his arms tired. I know a man who made so much money in Las Vegas, they're still looking for his body.

Cindy Morgan: [extremely weak] Michael... we're not gonna die, are we?
Michael Knight: No baby, we got a date, remember?

Devon Miles: Congratulations! This calls for a celebration, and I have just the thing:
Michael Knight: Ah, better be a good year...
Devon Miles: [reveals a bottle of orange juice] Ah good year? It's an excelent year, 1984, squeezed this morning.
[Michael groans in disgust]

K.I.T.T.: Speaking of jokes...
Michael Knight: We weren't speaking of jokes.
K.I.T.T.: Did I ever tell you about my cousin who thought he was an orange?
Michael Knight: No, but I got a feeling you're going to.
K.I.T.T.: Well, we would have put him a way, except we needed the juice.

[In a backroom inside the Catina, Eva, Renard's assistant, is tending to Michael "supposed succumbing" of the poison in his system; Michael then wakes up]
Michael Knight: [weakly] Don't tell me I've died and gone to that hot place.
Eva: Don't rush it. You've so little time left, why spend it on unpleasantries?
[Eva kisses a "weak" Michael]
Michael Knight: [sighs] Where's Renard?
Eva: [chuckles] Michael Knight, true to your reputation. Drawing your last breaths and still fighting.


"Knight Rider: Goliath Returns (#2.18)" (1984)
Michael Knight: Alright, Kitt, lets try April's new device.
K.I.T.T.: Michael, I have serious reservations about this.
Michael Knight: Hang on buddy, and get ready to make like a bird!

Michael Knight: You got me. That's what you want, isn't it?
Garthe Knight: Yes! But I want you to suffer in every way imaginable. My possession of Devon Miles and April Curtis causes you great anguish. How could I possibly deny myself that pleasure?

Michael Knight: KITT, can you hear me?
KITT: Michael, is that you?
Michael Knight: Yeah. You okay?
KITT: No, I'm not okay. I'm nowhere near okay. Most of my functions are out of order, and I'm being treated like a side of beef.
Michael Knight: Where are you?
KITT: In the garage, and it's not a pleasant experience.
Michael Knight: I'm not exactly in the Palace Hotel either. Don't worry, we'll get out of this.
KITT: I certainly hope so. Police impound would be preferable to the company I'm forced to keep now.

Adrianne St. Clair: Oh, such passion. Is it me you love, or your freedom?
Garthe Knight: Only a fool would answer that question.

Michael Knight: I sure hope that's the last we see of Garthe and Goliath.
KITT: So do I, Michael.
[KITT makes a truck horn honk that sounds like Goliath]
Michael Knight: What's that?
KITT: I recorded it as a souvenir.
Michael Knight: Oh! Oh! Oh! That's very funny. Yes, that's very funny. As a matter of fact, I have a little surprise for you, too.
KITT: Please, no cliffs. Do you hear me?
[Michael accelerates]
KITT: Michael, I'm serious.
[he accelerates faster]
KITT: Michael.

Garthe Knight: Our last encounter wasn't a defeat, it was merely a temporary setback. I will succeed this time. It is my destiny.
Devon Miles: Your destiny is self destruction.
Garthe Knight: Destruction, yes. But Michael Knights, not me.

Michael Knight: [Devon's office has been wrecked] Alright, Devon. Another one of your wild toga parties, huh?
Devon Miles: That is not very funny, Michael.

Garthe Knight: [to Adrienne] So cold and so ruthless. Did I ever tell you you remind me of my mother?

Michael Knight: You ok? You're awful quiet.
Christina Bergstrom: Oh, I'm sorry. You know I havent even thanked you for rescueing me from that... eh... that...
KITT: Masquerading, misanthropic Klaus-clone.
Christina Bergstrom: Exactly.

Garthe Knight: [holding Adrienne forcibly by the neck and shouting into her face] It's about time you understand that my life does not revolve around you. It was my will that forced you to break me out of prison. It was my brilliance that resurrected Goliath. And it was my planning that captured Michael Knight.

Garthe Knight: So, the great escape concludes neither great nor succesful.

Michael Knight: Bingo.
KITT: Bingo indeed. It's Goliath.


"Knight Rider: White-Line Warriors (#2.15)" (1984)
Michael Knight: You know K.I.T.T.? Sometimes I think I got the best job in the world. A lot of men would die for duty like this.
K.I.T.T.: You nearly have on several occasions.
Michael Knight: You're all heart, buddy.

Manny Carmichael: Carmicheal's the name, auto alarms is the game. Friends call me Manny, I hope will too.
[shakes Michael by the hand]
Michael Knight: Yeah, well, Manny, I hate to stop ya in mid-pitch, but I really don't think I need an alarm system.
Manny Carmichael: Well, if you'll just permit me a little demonstration? 30 seconds to break into this baby. 30 seconds
[pulls out a common household coathanger]
Manny Carmichael: And I'm just an amateur, mind you.
Michael Knight: I'll tell you what, I've got an appointment, but you shoot your best shot. If you can break into this baby, we'll do some business, ok?

Michael Knight: What's been going on?
Marietta Mattheson: Filthy rotten hoodlum bums! Decent people can't stay in business. This used to be a quiet lovely town until these Weekend Warriors started coming in.

Mace Beaudry: [about Cindy] You know, she's a great little dancer but as a waitress you could starve to death.
[turns to Michael]
Mace Beaudry: You play pool?
Michael Knight: Never before dark.

Michael Knight: Some things never change, huh.
Cindy Mattheson: You've been here before?
Michael Knight: No, not here, but this place reminds me of myself about ten years ago. clubs, a wrap, turbo-burgers... nothing changes but the sideburns.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, it's one thing to have to hear that music from my own speaker, but to be assaulted from all sides, I feel like Custer at Little Big Horn.
Michael Knight: Hang in there, buddy, this isn't your last stand.

Michael Knight: [K.I.T.T. has just shielded Michael from exploding dynamite] I'm ok. You alright?
K.I.T.T.: After surviving that music last night, this was a piece of cake.

Michael Knight: Alright, we've lit the fuse. Now let's just sit back and see if anything explodes...

Michael Knight: Alright! Let's go shake the tree and see who falls out!

Manny Carmichael: Hi Mike!
[Michael sighs]
Manny Carmichael: 30 seconds and these are the guys who can prove it. These are real professionals.
Michael Knight: Sorry, Manny, the deal is off. You've convinced me, having a car is too much trouble, I'm gonna get myself a moped.
K.I.T.T.: Moped indeed...


"Knight Rider: Knight Moves (#1.20)" (1983)
Terri Calley: [admiring Kitts's dash] This car has more gators than my tractor.
Terri Calley: [Terri and Michael laugh] Where's the CB?
Michael Knight: It's gotta be in there somewhere.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, I've been monitoring CB channels and Terri's right, 'Kitt' is rather dull. How about 'Hot Knight'?
Michael Knight: Hot Knight? Hot Knight... That's definitely got a ring to it.
K.I.T.T.: Thank you.
Michael Knight: Don't let it get to your computer banks.
K.I.T.T.: I won't.

K.I.T.T.: I must say the more I listen to CB channels, the more impressed I am with truck drivers.
Michael Knight: Yeah? Why is that?
K.I.T.T.: They're concerned for wildlife for example. Every time one of them spots a bear, they immediately report it to all the others. I find that most praiseworthy.
Michael Knight: Me too, Kitt, me too.

Michael Knight: One minute you're telling me to leave town, the next minute you're telling me to stick around. A fellow can get real dizzy listening to you, Sheriff.

Michael Knight: Hey, were'd you come up with a name like Cedric, anyway?
Devon Miles: It was my father's name.
Michael Knight: Great name.

Terri Calley: Some people are mountain people. Some are ocean people. I'm a desert person, how about you?
Michael Knight: I'm a road person all the way.
Terri Calley: Me too.

Terri Calley: You know what? The last time I wore a dress was at my high school gratuation
[giggles]
Michael Knight: I'll tell you what, when this thing is all over, you put on your prettiest dress and I'll take you dancing at Tick-Tock all night long, 'till the roosters crow.
[Terri giggles some more]

Michael Knight: You ready?
Terri Calley: I was born ready.

Rick Calley: [on CB] Big Brother to Hot Knight, we're gonna tag along and guess what? Brusker is buyer.
Trucker Kurt: If that's ok.
Michael Knight: [on Kitt's intercom] That's ok, Curt.
[Mike and Terri the Tiger laugh out loud]
K.I.T.T.: Michael, the correct response in CB parlance would have been: breaker breaker, Hot Knight to Big Brother, that's a big ten four, over and out.
Michael Knight: All right good buddy, that's a big ten four. Over and out.
[they laugh it up again]

K.I.T.T.: Michael. what's a 10-33?
Michael Knight: A call for help!


Knight Rider 2000 (1991) (TV)
Michael Knight: It's either sink or swim with you, huh, pal?
K.I.T.T.: I expect a full simonize once this is over.

K.I.T.T.: Is that you, Michael?
Michael Knight: Yeah.
K.I.T.T.: You look like crap.
Michael Knight: Well, so do you, pal.
K.I.T.T.: At least I have an excuse. You've obviously gone down the toilet since we split up, Michael. Get a life.
Michael Knight: I got a life and a body, too, which is more I than I can say for you.

Devon Miles: Do you remember what Wilton always said? 'One man can make a difference'.
Michael Knight: I remember. But that man is not me anymore. Me is fishing and taking care of my Chevy outside. Me is taking advantage of life for a change instead of life taking advantage of me.
Devon Miles: No one ever suggested that what we do is easy. Nothing worthwile ever is.

K.I.T.T.: I can't even play a round of Pac-man in here.
Michael Knight: Oh, you're dating yourself, buddy-boy. Pac-man's in the Smithsonian now.
K.I.T.T.: Probably an exhibit or two away from you.

Russell Maddock: Wonderful. A car with an attitude.
K.I.T.T.: [Kitt is now encased in a '57 Chevy] You'd have a disposition too if you suddenly went from state of the art to this. I may not catch every criminal, but I'll sure look good at the drive in.
Michael Knight: Kitt, there are no more drive-ins.
K.I.T.T.: In that case I'm useless.

James 'Scotty' Doohan: [having been stunned by Kitt] They set their phasers on stun, captain... I don't like the looks of it.
K.I.T.T.: Michael, shall I mirandize him?
Michael Knight: [helping Doohan stand up] Kitt, it's Scotty.
K.I.T.T.: Who?
Russell Maddock: Star Trek, you idiot, he's James Doohan. The actor who played Scotty in the original series and all ten movies.
Michael Knight: Don't tell me you're a closet Trekkie?
James 'Scotty' Doohan: The dilithium crystals are fading fast... I don't think I can hold her Mr. Spock...

Michael Knight: [about Shawn] All the chips in the world and she has to end up with Kitt's...

Shawn McCormick: Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you leave the Foundation in 1990 to run an unprofitable bass charter?
Shawn McCormick: [Michael does not reply] It seems you get along better with fish than you do with people.
Michael Knight: Hey, I know some fish with better personalities than you.

K.I.T.T.: [Kitt just drove off a pier] I trust you both are alright?
Michael Knight: Oh yeah, just fine, Kitt. If you forget the fact that my Chevy just sank past a school of bass.

K.I.T.T.: [Kitt is sinking fast] I only have about 30 seconds of voice transmission left.
Michael Knight: If water gets in your CPU you're out of here...
K.I.T.T.: I know. I guess this is goodbye. I'm sure some of my chips will be salvagable, Shawn. Of course you're welcome to pick and choose.
Shawn McCormick: I'll do that.
K.I.T.T.: Michael... take care of yourself?


"Knight Rider: Deadly Maneuvers (#1.3)" (1982)
Michael Knight: Michael, I can no longer sanction your wild goose chases.
Devon Miles: Devon, someone tried to kill me last night.
Devon Miles: I have an alibi

Bonnie Barstow: What's wrong with you?
K.I.T.T.: It's my alpha circuit, Bonnie.
Bonnie Barstow: Your alpha circuit? Kitt, the only way you could damage that is to do something stupid like... towing another car. Right?
K.I.T.T.: Bonnie? No comment.
Michael Knight: You're one in a million, pal.
K.I.T.T.: I know.

Robin Ladd: [about Devon] How can he tell such outrageous lies?
Michael Knight: With sincere expression.

Michael Knight: [having just lost a computer game] Well, these computer things are just a waste of time anyway.
K.I.T.T.: Ahum.
Michael Knight: Oh, present company excluded, of course.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, I'm afraid I have some alarming news.
Michael Knight: I'm sitting down.
K.I.T.T.: I've checked my circuits, and due to that towing incident, my Alpha circuit is non functioning.
Michael Knight: Yeah, I'm real sorry, K.I.T.T., but think we can manage for a while without it.
K.I.T.T.: Michael, what if it were your Alpha circuit?
Michael Knight: Ok, ok, you're still under warranty. Call the home office.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, I detect a certain tone in your voice.
Michael Knight: Oh, what tone is that?
K.I.T.T.: The one were you're convinced you've come up with a brilliant idea, the next thing know, you're doing something foolhardy and in my surveillance mode.
Michael Knight: K.I.T.T.?
K.I.T.T.: Yes, Michael?
Michael Knight: Go into your surveillance mode.

Lt. Hugh Rainey: What exactly were you doing, Mr. Knight?
Michael Knight: [posing as a hotdog vendor] Just trying to make a buck, Major, is that a crime?
Lt. Hugh Rainey: No. Then you could explain the cards in your wallet?
Michael Knight: What cards?
Lt. Hugh Rainey: Michael Knight: speedy repairman. Michael Knight: quick carpet cleaner. M. Knight Enterprises: Swedish massage while you wait.
Michael Knight: Major, times are rough. I gotta take odd jobs to make ends meet. I was very lucky that uncle Sanch gave me this job.

Michael Knight: Hey K.I.T.T., how about a little music, huh?
K.I.T.T.: Sorry, the Alpha circuit took out the radio too.
Michael Knight: You're never gonna forgive me for that are you?
K.I.T.T.: Michael, forgiveness implies an emotional state that has no application in my case. However, I doubt that I shall ever forget it.

Michael Knight: [driving over a army testing range] Let's hit it!
K.I.T.T.: [a mortar shell hits the ground in front of them and explodes] Michael, could you use another word besides 'hit'?

Robin Ladd: Is this a car or a spaceship?
Michael Knight: Little bit of both.


"Knight Rider: Good Day at White Rock (#1.4)" (1982)
Sherry Benson: [preparing a hamburger] Eh, how would you like this cooked?
Michael Knight: Medium.
Sherry Benson: [gets out her notebook] Eh, anything else with that?
Michael Knight: Yeah, how 'bout some French fries, well done.
Sherry Benson: And anything else?
Michael Knight: Meaningful conversation?
Sherry Benson: Rare.

Michael Knight: You're, eh, sister got a steady boyfriend?
Davey Benson: In this town?
[referring to K.I.T.T]
Davey Benson: She's beautiful.
Michael Knight: [still thinking about Sherry] Yeah, I noticed.
Davey Benson: Great body.
Michael Knight: Yeah, I noticed that too.

Michael Knight: You know, you and your buddies must have watched too many bad movies on TV when you were kids.
Hilly: Why is that?
Michael Knight: 'Cause your accidentally lousy manners are ten years out of date. You can't be real.
Hilly: Oh I'm for real, I'm a Scorpion. Hilly.
[draws switchblade]
Sherry Benson: Davey, run. Go get the sheriff, quick!
Hilly: This... is Stinger. You're about to be the stingee.
Michael Knight: Before or after the commercial?

Michael Knight: Got any ideas?
K.I.T.T.: I thought I'd let you try first. It always makes you feel so much better on those rare occasions when you outthink me.
Michael Knight: Oh that's funny. That's, that's very funny.

Sheriff Bruckner: I'll see if I can arrange some kind of a reward for you, Sherry, for aprehending the prisoner.
Sherry Benson: Oh come on, Sheriff, he is not a criminal.
Sheriff Bruckner: Yeah, a few hours ago I might have believed you. Since then he has stolen his vehicle from the impound lot and broken out of jail.
Michael Knight: I didn't steal my car.
Sheriff Bruckner: Oh I suppose you want me to believe that it drove itself over here and picked you up?

Michael Knight: You sure you wanna stay in the car?
Sherry Benson: Well, Sally Field stayed in the car in Smokey and the Bandit...

Devon Miles: You don't seem to be able to low profile it anyway, do you?
Michael Knight: Just lucky I guess.
Devon Miles: There are some who might say that eh, 'disaster prone' would be a better way of putting it.

K.I.T.T.: [Michael pushes the autopilot and starts kissing Sherry] Am I safe in assuming that nobody wants to play geography at the moment?
Michael Knight: Yes. You're right. Just keep driving.
K.I.T.T.: But for how long?
Michael Knight: Hmm. 'Till one of us runs out of gas.
Sherry Benson: Hmmm!

K.I.T.T.: What does relax mean?
Michael Knight: Um. It's kinda like when I put you in neutral.
K.I.T.T.: Oh. How very unproductive.


"Knight Rider: Soul Survivor (#2.9)" (1983)
Michael Knight: [April has crammed Kitt's intelligence into a portable TV set] Kitt, are you ok?
K.I.T.T.: I am not ok. I am being held captive inside a television set.
April Curtis: Kitt, it's the best we can do to make you portable.
K.I.T.T.: I'm totally ridiculous. I feel like the booby prize at a Halloween party.

Michael Knight: [Kitt's body has just turbo boosted over Michael in a convertible] You know something, I don't much care for being on this end of things.
K.I.T.T.: That makes two of us.

Michael Knight: [Michael's convertible is slowing down] Kitt, what's wrong?
K.I.T.T.: A chronic problem with petrol dependent vehicles: we're out of gas.
Michael Knight: Outta gas?
[sighs]
Michael Knight: Why didn't you tell me we were running out of gas?
K.I.T.T.: Why didn't you watch the gage? You're the driver, I'm only along for the ride.

Michael Knight: [Kitt is still housed in a portable TV] Kitt, keep one thing in mind: I can always switch you to a gameshow.

Michael Knight: [playing a game of Pac-man] What's the problem? I thought you'd appreciate my getting into computers.
K.I.T.T.: Playing a video game where circles eat blobs is hardly 'getting into computers'.

Michael Knight: Quite a place you got here.
Adrianne Margeaux: Hm, thank you. I'm an art dealer. I love having beautiful things around me.

Michael Knight: Her voice and that music literally drained the strength out of me.

Michael Knight: [driving a convertible, facing K.I.T.T.'s body] K.I.T.T., that's our car, and nobody's driving it!

Michael Knight: Lets play a little 'hooky'.
K.I.T.T.: 'Hooky?' I'm not familiar with that term.
Michael Knight: Then allow me to educate you in one of life's finer pleasures.
[engaging KITT's pursuit mode]
K.I.T.T.: [as speed builds up] Oh, this does feel good!
Michael Knight: [laughs, raises voice] How 'bout a little turbo boost?
K.I.T.T.: Dare we? Without sufficient reason?
Michael Knight: Without sufficient reason' is the definition of hooky! Shall we, as they say, 'go for it?
K.I.T.T.: Let's!


"Knight Rider: Voo Doo Knight (#4.22)" (1986)
Michael Knight: I owe you one.
Devon Miles: Only one?

K.I.T.T.: What's the matter, Michael?
Michael Knight: What makes you think something's the matter?
K.I.T.T.: When music like this is on the radio, my steering wheel usually takes a beating.
Michael Knight: [sighs] I don't know, K.I.T.T., I'm just trying to decide whether I should go back to Lorenzo's boutique for men, pick up that jacket I saw.
K.I.T.T.: Do you need it?
Michael Knight: Well, it's not that I need it, I mean, nobody needs a black eelskin bomber jacket, that's not the point.
K.I.T.T.: What is the point?
Michael Knight: I want it... It matches my boots.
K.I.T.T.: You're boots are a long way from your jacket, do you think anyone will notice that they match?
Michael Knight: [exasperated] You'll never understand.

K.I.T.T.: My scanners show four people in the building, three of them wearing the receivers. The fourth is the girl who went to the party with you.
Michael Knight: Elizabeth. Are you sure?
K.I.T.T.: Unless she has a twin with identical DNA structure. And Michael, her heart rate is above normal. She's frightened.

Michael Knight: Thank you Devon, now it's time I had a heart to heart talk with Mr. Crane.
[leaves]
Devon Miles: Hey, don't leave you're coffee!

Harana: Correct me if I'm wrong but eh... it was not my charm that brought you back?
Michael Knight: You know that it wasn't.

Michael Knight: [faced with Harana's bodyguards] Well, my favorite tag team: Hulk Hogan and Sgt. Slaughter.

Michael Knight: [having just escaped from a collapsing building] Nice K.I.T.T., very, very nice.
K.I.T.T.: No applause, just a wash and wax please.
Michael Knight: [laughs] You got it.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: [RC's bike was left in the building] Yeah... and a new bike.
Michael Knight: Yeah, sorry about that.

Donald Crane: Well, to quote Blanche Dubois: I've always depended on the kindness of strangers.
Michael Knight: Hm, you're welcome, just tell me where the crown is.

Michael Knight: Sorry, Harana, but a stolen crown never made a man a king or a woman a princess.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Hey that's good, Michael. What is that, eh... Shakespeare?
Michael Knight: Hm hm, Michael Knight.


"Knight Rider: Knight of the Drones (#3.1)" (1984)
Michael Knight: EGM?
K.I.T.T.: Electrical generating mode. Puts out enough current to power a small city.
Michael Knight, Devon Miles: Shocking!

Michael Knight: [while electrocuting Clifton] Morning, Clifton. Rather electrifying day don't you think?

Michael Knight: Give 'em some more juice.
K.I.T.T.: One freshly squeezed DC coming right up.

Margo Sheridan: [pointing a gun at Michael] If I ever run for president, I'll be sure to make you my running mate.
Michael Knight: It would be a first.

Michael Knight: [looking at Kitt's new and improved dashboard] Now if I only knew what some of these things do.
K.I.T.T.: Only one way to find out, Michael, but don't push the turbo boost.
Devon Miles: He's still got a sense of humor.

Michael Knight: It's like old times, huh?
Bonnie Barstow: Don't kid yourself.

Bonnie Barstow: You're still tall.
Michael Knight: You're still beautiful.

Michael Knight: Too bad Bonnie's not around.
Devon Miles: Didn't I tell you?
Michael Knight: What?
Devon Miles: She is, she's taking advance studies at the university here.
Michael Knight: No kidding. Did you talk to her?
Devon Miles: Yes. And if you're wondering why I haven't asked her to return to the Foundation, I have. Her answer was no. A very polite but firm no.

Michael Knight: Kitt, there's no one inside here.
K.I.T.T.: Michael, that's impossible. A car doesn't drive by itself.
Michael Knight: Doesn't it?


"Knight Rider: Short Notice (#1.22)" (1983)
K.I.T.T.: I don't understand the concept of fishing, Michael.
Michael Knight: What don't you understand, buddy?
K.I.T.T.: According to my information the object of fishing is to catch fish.
Michael Knight: That's right.
K.I.T.T.: But we've been gone two days, and despite all the time you spend fishing, you didn't catch any fish.
Michael Knight: They just weren't biting, pal, that's how fishing is. Sometimes they bite, sometimes they don't.

Michael Knight: [having gathered information at a motel] Only one room left.
Nicole Turner: [groans] Wonderful.
Michael Knight: But it's got two single beds. Now it's up to you. I don't mind if you don't mind.
Nicole Turner: Never knew a man who did.

Devon Miles: If you're bound over for trial, the prosecutor will start an immediate investigation into your past. Now I need to tell you how difficult that would be for you, the Foundation, for the future of our work together.
Michael Knight: In that case... I'd better find Nicole.

K.I.T.T.: Since you haven't asked, I'll tell you: it was demoralizing, demeaning.
Michael Knight: [a bit aggravated] What?
K.I.T.T.: Police impound.
Michael Knight: Oh, you had me worried there for a minute.
K.I.T.T.: Michael, I don't think you have any idea what those places are like. I was surrounded by criminal types with dented fenders and bullet holes...
Michael Knight: Jail was no picknick either, pal.

Michael Knight: Harold T. Turner is a hard guy, so what? We've been up against hard guys before.
Devon Miles: Turner is much more than a hard guy, Michael. As ex-president of the Satan's Stompers motorcycle club he has at his disposal over 300 hard guys, not to mention whatever other resources his various underworld activities provide.
Bonnie Barstow: He's right, Michael. According to the federal investigation the Satan's Stompers have developed extensive ties with criminal organizations. It's not like Peter Fonda riding around on a chopped Harley with a heart of gold underneath two days growth of beard.

Arthur Wexley: Nicole's not the kind of girl who leaves bridges intact once she's passed over them. Do you understand women? I don't understand women. I... I thought loving a daughter would be much easier than loving a wife. Less, less apt to fail. I was wrong, it isn't. The failuire is no less painful.
Michael Knight: For what it's worth, I don't think Nicole's across that bridge yet. Not all the way.

Michael Knight: Welcome to Calamity, you're typical authentic Western movie town.
[brief pause]
Michael Knight: Looks like business is lousy.

Michael Knight: You know last time I saw you two together I felt like a referee in a street fight.
Arthur Wexley: [they all chuckle] She's too tough for me, I quit.
Nicole Turner: Me too. Does that mean we lose a good referee?
Michael Knight: Looks that way.


"Knight Rider: The Topaz Connection (#1.16)" (1983)
Lauren Royce: Okay, there's the smile. Let's see, what else do we have? Ah, the cake, champagne... anything else?
Michael Knight: I'll tell ya what; you do the cake, I'll do the champagne, and then we'll see what else comes to mind.

Lauren Royce: Are you sure you can handle me?
Michael Knight: No. Are you sure you can handle me?
Lauren Royce: No.

Bonnie Barstow: I've programmed KITT with everything imaginable on Royce's publishing empire, along with all the past issues of Escape magazine.
Michael Knight: Including the centerfolds?
Bonnie Barstow: I anticipated your every need.

[Michael and KITT are outside a gambling hall filled with slot machines]
K.I.T.T.: Michael, I'm picking up some unusual vibrations.
Michael Knight: That's probably just the one-armed bandits.
K.I.T.T.: Shall we pursue them?

Michael Knight: The story have a title?
Devon Miles: Well, he referred to it by codename: Topaz.
Michael Knight: Did you run that through the computers?
Bonnie Barstow: Nothing. The word doesn't seem to connect to anything in Royce's personal or corporate life. It is however a birth stone... mine.
Michael Knight: [stuttering] Eh... November 24. I'm sorry, I forgot your birthday didn't I?

K.I.T.T.: Why are all those young ladies running around in such skimpy attire?
Michael Knight: When I find out, you'll be the first to know.

Lauren Royce: You're right. You hardly know me, but you're right. How come you're so right all the time?
Michael Knight: It's my specialty.

K.I.T.T.: [Kitt is part of the Escape magazine centerfold] Overall it's a very flattering layout. However there is one small detail that keeps it from being picture perfect.
Michael Knight: No kidding. What's that?
K.I.T.T.: Please remove the staple from my fender.


"Knight Rider: Return to Cadiz (#2.6)" (1983)
KITT: But you heard April. There are unanswered questions regarding the viability of my Third Stage Aquatic Synthesizer.
Michael Knight: Maybe we'll answer 'em here and now, me hearty.
KITT: Michael, this is no time for Long John Silver!

KITT: You have an attraction with her, don't you?
Michael Knight: Um, she has a pretty smile. Don't you think so?
KITT: Michael, silicon chip circuitry is pretty to me. 200 miles on a gallon of gas is pretty to me. I'm not programmed to react to a girl's smile. You on the other hand, are programmed to react to nothing else.

April Curtis: [on viewscreen] Are you ready for the test, Michael?
Michael Knight: Oh, hi April, I'm ready if Kitt's ready!
April Curtis: Kitt?
KITT: I'm glad you asked, April. In light of the extensive micronetics involved in the system interface, not to mention -
Michael Knight: [laughs] He's ready.
Michael Knight: Michael, I prefer speaking for myself. In truth there's a primary aversion involved.
Michael Knight: I know buddy, you hate the smell of fish.
KITT: I dislike the smell of fish. I hate salt water.
Michael Knight: Think of it this way: April want to see if you can swim, and I'm along for the ride.

Jennifer Shell: You like lobster? I happen to have a real beauty left from Bobby's last dive.
Michael Knight: Is that an invitation?
Jennifer Shell: How 'bout tonight?

KITT: Michael, you're awfully quiet. And upset despite my efforts to cheer you up.
Michael Knight: [pause] I'm thinking Kitt, I'm not upset.
KITT: You're pulse rate is up, you're blood pressure is high and you're gripping the steering wheel with alarming pressure.
Michael Knight: [lets go of steering wheel] Yeah, white knuckles give you away every time, huh?

KITT: Aye, me hardy. Is it a ration of grog you're needing?
Michael Knight: Grog?
KITT: Aye, grog. Broth to you landlovers. Oh no, you're not back on that programme again, are you?

Michael Knight: April?
April Curtis: Hm?
Michael Knight: Listen, thanks a lot for jumping in when I needed some help.
April Curtis: Sure. Actually it was fun. I, eh, I was thinking, maybe we should trade jobs once in a while.
Michael Knight: That's not a bad idea. Kitt's Long John Silver quotes are driving me nuts.

Michael Knight: [speaking into his watch] Good work, Kitt. Real good work.
Jennifer Shell: Who's Kitt?
Michael Knight: [untying her hands] He's a... ah, he's a friend of mine.
Jennifer Shell: Whoever he is, I'd like to thank him myself, may I?
Michael Knight: Be my guest.
Jennifer Shell: [speaking into Michael's watch] You were wonderful, Kitt.
KITT: Just call me the scourge of the seven seas.


"Knight Rider: K.I.T.T. vs. K.A.R.R. (#3.6)" (1984)
KITT: That can't be KARR. We destroyed KARR two years ago.
Michael Knight: Then who or what is that?
KITT: But I saw him explode! You saw him explode!
Michael Knight: I know, gimme a scan of his license plate.
KITT: Good idea!
[KITT scans KARR's license plate]
Michael Knight: [sighs] So much for wishful thinking

Devon Miles: Michael, do what you need to do, but please be careful.
Michael Knight: Right.
Bonnie Barstow: If anything happens to KITT...
Michael Knight: Love you, too.
[blows a kiss and grins at Bonnie]

Michael Knight: Devon, I really admire you, you know. I admire your maturity, your wisdom, your sense of proportion - I even like your tie. But I'm telling you, K.I.T.T. and I are going out of here in three minutes with or without those reflectors, or your blessing.

KITT: If this plan of yours fails, I want you to know it's been a beautiful partnership.
Michael Knight: The feeling is mutual.

Devon Miles: I demand an explanation.
Michael Knight: When I think one up, you'll be the first to know.

Devon Miles: With a little more time I'm sure we can come up with something.
Michael Knight: Time is the operative word here, we don't have any.

Michael Knight: [to Mandy] Alright, I'll give it to ya straight: your boy friends in way over his head. As a matter of fact, he's drowning. And you're just about the only person on this earth who can save him right now.

KITT: Honking in a tunnel, really Michael, I fail to see the point.
Michael Knight: K.I.T.T., It's an American tradition, like raising your hands on a rollercoaster.
KITT: Unsafe, unsound behaviour if you ask me.
Michael Knight: Now that you mention it, I didn't.


"Knight Rider: Knights of the Fast Lane (#3.4)" (1984)
Devon Miles: Michael, what's this I hear about K.I.T.T. playing football?
Michael Knight: I tell ya, Devon. K.I.T.T. is the next O.J.

Jim Courtney: This belonged to a partner of mine. You remind me of him a lot.
Michael Knight: No kidding, what was his name?
Jim Courtney: Michael Long... a special guy. By any standard
[hands over Long's old police badge]

K.I.T.T.: Why do I feel like I'm entering the jaws of a cougar?
Michael Knight: It's football fever, pal!
K.I.T.T.: Well, I sure hope there's a cure.

Michael Knight: Maybe it's time we started working together.
Jim Courtney: [flabbergasted] Working together?
Michael Knight: Yeah, Jimbo, working together!
Jim Courtney: Now wait a minute, 'Jimo', that's a name out of the past. What made you call me that?
Michael Knight: I don't know, it just seemed natural.
Jim Courtney: Natural, huh? Sure that's all it is?

Michael Knight: Just remember one thing: we're on the same side here.
Jim Courtney: Yeah? What side is that? If anyone smelled a little kinky it's you, Mr. Michael Knight. I checked you out. Up to two years ago, you didn't exist. Now do me a favor: disappear again.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, If you're going to use a multi million dollar system to read a 25 cent paper, you could at least read the front page. Be well informed.
Michael Knight: Ok, wise guy, lay a little world, national and local on me.
K.I.T.T.: That's more like it.

K.I.T.T.: 22 men in mock war regalia knocking each other down for posession of an air filled bladder made of a pigskin... Well, some human institution confuse me but football is a total mystery.
Michael Knight: I wish I could help you out, K.I.T.T., but it's a little like butter milk: either you like it or you don't


"Knight Rider: Halloween Knight (#3.5)" (1984)
Norman Baines: She's gone away.
Michael Knight: Somehow you make that sound so permanent.

Michael Knight: [to Grant] You know, some way your illusions are a lot more convincing than you are...
[moves towards exit, turns round]
Michael Knight: But I got some special effects of my own, like making you disappear for twenty years, man!

Michael Knight: [Bonnie's apartment has been trashed] When was the last time you saw Denise?
Simon: You don't think that she...
Michael Knight: Let's put it this way: if they hung people for circumstantial evidence, right now she'd be slowly twisting in the wind.

Esmeralda: My name is Esmeralda, and I'm the top witch of the northern high. You wouldn't happen to be a warlock, would you?
Michael Knight: I don't think so.
Esmeralda: Pitty. It's so hard to find a good warlock these days.
K.I.T.T.: Have you tried Warlocks Anonymous?

Esmeralda: [talking to her black cat, in pretend preparation to put a curse on Michael] Come, Voodoo... we must take our newts out of the oven.
K.I.T.T.: If you ask me, Michael, she has newts in her BELFRY!
Michael Knight: Let's hope they STAY there.

Michael Knight: [seeing the outbuilding's door banging noisily and then creaking open slowly, revealing a wildly-swinging hanging lamp inside with a thick fringe of cobwebs wreathing the edge of its large conical metal shade] Someone's got a real morbid sense of humor.
Bonnie Barstow: [in a wary, apprehensive tone] I wouldn't go that far.
Michael Knight: Morbid?
Bonnie Barstow: Sense of humor!

K.I.T.T.: [feeling a bit horrified after having analyzed the tuft of black fur that Michael found caught in Denise's closet door] It's hair from a REAL GORILLA, Michael!
Michael Knight: Don't worry, buddy... I don't think that gorilla has peeled any bananas lately.


"Knight Rider: Inside Out (#1.10)" (1982)
KITT: A little higher, a little lower, stop.
Michael Knight: I'm getting out of here.

Michael Knight: Hi.
Bonnie Barstow: I was so worried, are you all right?
Michael Knight: Yeah, I'm ok, I got a couple of bruises.
Bonnie Barstow: [completely ignoring Michael] How are your shocks? Are you still in alignment?
KITT: Everything's is in proper order, Bonnie, but thank you for your concern.
Bonnie Barstow: Oh K.I.T.T., that's sweet, but let me check anyway, your surveillance scanners might need adjustment.

Devon Miles: [about Kincaid] You know several law enforcement agencies and military intelligence have tried to put an end to his criminal career several times. And all those efforts have come to a disastrous end for each one of the operatives concerned.
Michael Knight: Can you rephrase that?
Devon Miles: They got knocked off.
Michael Knight: Huh?
Devon Miles: They didn't come back.
Michael Knight: You know I liked it better the first way.
Devon Miles: Really.

Michael Knight: [looking at Bonnie] I wonder if there's a real woman under those overalls or just a robot?
KITT: Under the overalls she's 168 centimeters tall. 54 kilos in weight. Other measurements: 97 centimeters, 61 -
Michael Knight: K.I.T.T.?
KITT: Yes Michael?
Michael Knight: Shut up.

Linda Elliott: Any questions?
Michael Knight: [posing as Dugan the driver] Yeah, how about a personal one?
Linda Elliott: You mean 'what's a nice girl like me doing in a racket like this'?
Michael Knight: Well I would have phrased it better.
Linda Elliott: You'll get the same answer: I'm here because I spend too many of my formative years with lowlife and scum.
Michael Knight: Like Kincaid.
Linda Elliott: Like you.

Michael Knight: Maybe I can get something from the girl?
KITT: I wouldn't touch that line with a ten foot drive shaft.
Michael Knight: Oh, what's that supposed to mean?
KITT: Merely that you always seem to use our assignments as convenient springboards for your social life.
Michael Knight: Don't be ridiculous. That girl is a source of information, that's all.
Michael Knight: I've heard that one before...

Bonnie Barstow: [having just finished refurbishing K.I.T.T] He's all set to go. Right now there's only one thing wrong with this car.
Michael Knight: Yeah, I know...
[together with Bonnie, in a loud monotone chant]
Michael Knight: The-nut-behind-the-wheel.
[in a humorously disgusted undertone]
Michael Knight: Oh, that's funny... that's VERY funny.


"Knight Rider: A Knight in Shining Armor (#2.13)" (1984)
Michael Knight: Are you gonna sulk all the way to the foundation?
Katherine Granger: You got your dashboard to keep you company.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, that young lady is such a brat, I can't help but wonder why anyone would leave her a goodbye note, let alone an treasure.
Michael Knight: Kitt, she's Charlie's daughter. Blood's thicker than water.
K.I.T.T.: So is my water oil, but he didn't leave me anything.

Michael Knight: Don't cheat yourself out of the honor of being Charlie Grangers daughter. He was a great man. The last of a breed they don't make anymore.

Michael Knight: Kitt, if you were Stone, where would you hide a treasure map?
K.I.T.T.: One of the greatest treasure hunters, Stephen Dubois, used to hide his maps in imitation cannons by his bedroom window.
Michael Knight: I think we should look for something more conventional, like a safe.
K.I.T.T.: You're just not a romantic.

K.I.T.T.: Oh and Michael, you might also check the drapery. Albert the second of Austira used to weave his treasure maps into the material.
Michael Knight: I don't think Stone's that clever with a needle.

Michael Knight: Kitt, do you happen to speak 10 place coordinates?
K.I.T.T.: [Kitt configures the coordinates] The location is in an area known as Devil's Basin.
Michael Knight: Let's go beat the devil.

K.I.T.T.: I'm programmed to be a treasure hunter, not a caveman.
Michael Knight: Consider it a new program.


"Knight Rider: Many Happy Returns (#4.8)" (1985)
Michael Knight: Devon, if I meet a young woman I want her to whisper sweet nothings in my ear, not crisis involving military hardware.

Michael Knight: Alright, it's no use announcing our presence, I got a few other moves to put on Mr. Quincy.
K.I.T.T.: No more try outs for the swim team I hope?
Michael Knight: No way, pal!

Michael Knight: Ok, smile, Quincy. You're gonna be on Knight Industries Candid Camera.

Michael Knight: [having been interrupted while kissing Amy] I'm sorry, duty calls.
Amy Lowell: That's ok, we'll just have to get to adolescence and maturity later.
Michael Knight: Count on it.

Bonnie Barstow: If this works, I'm gonna put sorcery on my resumé.
Michael Knight: You've always been a magician to me.

Michael Knight: If there was ever a time for SPM...
[pushes Super Pursuit Mode buton]

Michael Knight: [capturing bad guy] You're not much, but you're the only birthday present I got... Except for the cupcake


"Knight Rider: Knight of the Juggernaut (#4.1)" (1985)
Devon Miles: We bombarded a massive plutonium with titanium mines, thereby creating a new isotope.
Michael Knight: What's that in English?
Devon Miles: That is English.
Michael Knight: Oh.

Michael Knight: [Michael has been put on probation] What exactly does that mean?
Lloyd: It means no more notoriety, no more stunts, no more car chases, no more James Bond fantasies.

Ardell: Are you always this persistent?
Michael Knight: [fake laugh] Are you always this evasive?
Marta Simmons: [nervous laugh] Gentlemen, please, I'm sure everything's alright.
Michael Knight: She's sure, I'm not. Now once again, who did they meet with?

Fake Devon Miles: Michael, you're always complaining about aborted vacations, well, now's your chance.
Michael Knight: Now?
Fake Devon Miles: Yes, four whole weeks to do with as you please.
Michael Knight: What is going on here? You don't just throw K.I.T.T. away like a TV set or a toaster!

Bonnie Barstow: [Bonnie has found the cheapest garage available] It belongs to RC3's father.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Yeah.
Michael Knight: Don't tell me: RC2.

Jennifer Knight: Devon told me you were on a tropical vacation. What'd you do, trade your ticket in for burglars tools?
Michael Knight: Ok, so you don't like me. Except for the fact that you're the daughter of a man I respected, I don't like you very much either. But we got something in common here.
Jennifer Knight: Yeah, we're mammals.


"Knight Rider: Forget Me Not (#1.13)" (1982)
Michael Knight: Any ideas Kitt?
K.I.T.T.: Yes I think a striped tie would be very nice with that suit, or perhaps a simple paisley, don't you think?

Micki Bradburn: What's your name anyway?
Michael Knight: My name is Michael.
Micki Bradburn: Hey, no kidding, they ever call you Mickey?
Michael Knight: Never.
Micki Bradburn: It's a good thing. It could get confusing. I mean 'cause that's my name, Micki with an i. I know it's a dumb name, but it's the only one I got.

Marie Elena Casafranca: I don't like it. We are playing right into the hands of that jackal.
Michael Knight: Trust doesn't too come easy for you, does it?
Marie Elena Casafranca: There's no time left for trust.

K.I.T.T.: I hate to be the one to break this to you, but automobiles are not human. They have no lineage or personality.
Michael Knight: I wonder why I keep forgetting that?
K.I.T.T.: You have probably begun to form an psychological attachment to me. That would be a logical human response.
Michael Knight: No, I think it was that ' 56 Chevy I had in high school. Boy, I loved that car!

Michael Knight: Kitt, go into surveillance mode, huh?
K.I.T.T.: Michael?
Michael Knight: Yeah, Kitt?
K.I.T.T.: Could your 1956 Chevrolet go into surveillance mode?
Michael Knight: No, but we sure had some fun cruising hamburger joints.

Micki Bradburn: But what if nobody does report me missing?
Michael Knight: [gently takes Micki's attractive slender hands in his and gazes admiringly into her lovely kind face framed with thick shiny blonde hair] Well, then they don't know what they're missing!


"Knight Rider: Hearts of Stone (#1.14)" (1983)
K.I.T.T.: Michael, what do you think of my new voice modulator?
Michael Knight: Nice, Kitt. Real nice.

Michael Knight: Kitt, don't fall in love with one of these beautiful cars and, eh, run off on me huh?.
K.I.T.T.: I wouldn't dream of it. Michael, have you finished reviewing my new data banks?
Michael Knight: Something I should know?
K.I.T.T.: Don't drink the water.
Michael Knight: Kitt, we're not in Mexico, we're just outside 'o Houston, Texas
K.I.T.T.: I hear Marachi's.

Devon Miles: How's Kitt?
Michael Knight: Practicing Spanish every chance he gets.

K.I.T.T.: Devon's calling again.
Michael Knight: Tell him -
K.I.T.T.: [interrupting] Michael, I'm not constitutionally constructed to lie.
Michael Knight: None of us are, Kitt, think of it as a temporary condition for a good cause.
K.I.T.T.: What cause?
Michael Knight: My hide.

Michael Knight: Need a lift?
Devon Miles: You don't think I'm going to hoof it, do you?
Michael Knight: Why, I see you're picking up on the local vernacular.
Devon Miles: All I need to learn now is the Texas two-step.
Michael Knight: I would have thought the Viennese waltz was more your style.
Devon Miles: Yeah well, eh, the foxtrot is as far back as I can go.

K.I.T.T.: Bonnie, ai-yee! Ay que chula.
Bonnie Barstow: [giggles] Why thank you, Kitt.
Michael Knight: Show off.


"Knight Rider: Not a Drop to Drink (#1.7)" (1982)
Michael Knight: Where do I start?
Devon Miles: She's not only their leader, she's also almost as impuslive as you. Stubborn, rebellious, constantly indignant. As a matter of fact, I can't think of two people who deserve each other more.

Michael Knight: That was a close one. I wonder how they knew we were coming?
K.I.T.T.: Are you positive it was a deliberate assault on us?
Michael Knight: No question about it.
K.I.T.T.: How can you be so sure?
Michael Knight: Because earth-movers don't mate this time of year.

Michael Knight: Do something about that bull, will ya, K.I.T.T.?
K.I.T.T.: A bull? Really Michael, you want me to chase a bull? I'm not a matador.
Michael Knight: K.I.T.T.!
K.I.T.T.: Very well, Michael.

K.I.T.T.: It's about time.
Michael Knight: You can't be impatient, that's a human trait.
K.I.T.T.: I'd just like to know what's going on. I'm only as good as my input, you know.

Michael Knight: I think we both know what's going on around here. I just thought I'd tell you that whatever you have in mind, it isn't gonna happen. So what do you say we make life easy on everybody and leave the status as quo as possible?

Francesca Morgan: And I do hope you'll accept our invitation to come back soon. I know Kevin will be very disappointed if you don't.
Michael Knight: Just Kevin?


"Knight Rider: Slammin' Sammy's Stunt Show Spectacular (#1.5)" (1982)
Michael Knight: You know, for a collection of micro processors you're awfully touchy.
K.I.T.T.: Wrong. It's just that my circuits function better when we operate in a reality mode.
Michael Knight: K.I.T.T.?
K.I.T.T.: Yes Michael?
Michael Knight: Just keep driving.

Devon Miles: [puts down phone] Bonnie's ready for you.
Michael Knight: Oh, I only wish that meant what it sounded like.

K.I.T.T.: Well Michael, if our object is to save this enterprise, we best come up with something quite exceptional.
Michael Knight: That seems logical.
K.I.T.T.: What else would it be?
Michael Knight: Now that we've got that settled, what would you sugest we do?
K.I.T.T.: How should I know? You're talking showbusiness. And that's completely outside the scope of any known system of logic.
Michael Knight: You know what, K.I.T.T.?
K.I.T.T.: What Michael?
Michael Knight: Sometimes you're no help at all.

K.I.T.T.: Did you hear that announcer? He called me 'Cat'. That's a four legged feline.
Michael Knight: So go complain to your agent, huh?

Michael Knight: Devon, don't let anyone tell you differently - you are a little strange.

Michael Knight: Whether Blake is in jail or not, Sammy, Mark and Lisa can't make it without a show stopper. Until Sammy can drive again, K.I.T.T. and I are going to have to pitch in for him.
Devon Miles: And how much longer is that going to take?
Michael Knight: Maybe three weeks.
Devon Miles: [shocked] Three weeks?
Michael Knight: [adamant] That's right.
Devon Miles: Well, we'll look forward to seeing you in three weeks then.
Michael Knight: Maybe not. Why don't you and eh, Bon-bon drop by and catch our act?
[hands them both a ticket]


"Knight Rider: The Rotten Apples (#3.7)" (1984)
Michael Knight: Where does Old Canyon Road go?
K.I.T.T.: Were I to hazard a guess, I'd say into an old canyon.

Michael Knight: Kitt, I think this place needs a new disc jockey. Put on something I can dance to.
K.I.T.T.: [speaking on wristwatch comlink] How about Swan Lake?

Marilyn: Well, I got a bus to catch.
Michael Knight: Yeah. You eh, you know where to?
Marilyn: Yeah, wherever it's going.

Big Ed Barton: Tell me, are you a bettin' man, Mr. Knight? Yeah.
Michael Knight: Yeah.
Big Ed Barton: You see that buckin' bronco over there?
Michael Knight: Oh, that thing. I thought that went out with the hula-hoop.

Marilyn: My name's Marilyn, like in Monroe.
Michael Knight: My name's Michael. Like in, eh, Knight.

Michael Knight: Well, looks like the hoosgow over there.
K.I.T.T.: Hoosgow? Is that something like moo-cow?
Michael Knight: No, it's not something like moo-cow. It's western for jail, buddy
K.I.T.T.: Don't tell me. They even have their own language?


"Knight Rider: A Plush Ride (#1.12)" (1982)
Michael Knight: So with no leads, I got less than one week to catch a bad guy who may not even exist. It doesn't sound to me to be too simple.
Devon Miles: On the contrary Michael, it seems perfectly simple to me.
Michael Knight: Devon, let's say there is a bad guy, and he overreacts and decides to waste me.
Devon Miles: Oh, that would be a most serious and unfortunately resolution, Michael. But, you're quite right. It would solve our problem.

Michael Knight: I hate to be the one to break this to ya, but this isn't Club Med.
Margo Wells: You mean I'm not gonna need my perfume, my make-up, my sexy gowns and string bikini?
Michael Knight: That sounds great to me, but it's probably the wrong kind of ammunition.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, wear your pants.
Michael Knight: Never mind. K.I.T.T. I got a bone to pick with you.
K.I.T.T.: According to my data on human anatomy, you have 206 bones, give or take some questionable cartilage.

Michael Knight: Devon, you look ridiculous.
Devon Miles: [wearing a cowboy hat] Really? I thought I looked like Gary Cooper.

Margo Wells: I'm sorry about this, Michael. I really am.
Michael Knight: Yeah, I bet you are. You know Margo, I liked you. I liked you a lot. But I think behind your pretty smile and your pretty face, there's nothing but a grinning skull.

[repeated line]
Michael Knight: KITT?
KITT: Yes, Michael?
Michael Knight: Shut Up!


"Knight Rider: A Good Knight's Work (#2.20)" (1984)
Michael Knight: When Tanya shot me in the face I was unarmed. It's a little different now, isn't it Zachary?
Cameron Zachary: [grabs a sword from the wall] No... I still hold all the cards.

Cameron Zachary: [on phone] Mr Knight? Or should I say Mr. Long?
Michael Knight: [on other line] Alright, what do you want from me?
Cameron Zachary: I want you and I want your car. And If I don't get what I want, I'm gonna kill Gina Adams.

K.I.T.T.: Gina appears to be such a nice girl, Michael. People so often turn out not to be what they seem. How can you who to trust and who not to?
Michael Knight: You can't, buddy. You just gotta take your chances.

Michael Knight: Zachary owns the Triple M toy company. But the project he's working on is no toy, it's a laser handgun.

Michael Knight: Keep your scanners peeled for bearnappers.
K.I.T.T.: Baby sitting a pin cushion. How demeaning.

Gina Adams: Michael, I feel so shaky!
Michael Knight: Sounds like a normal, healthy reaction to being shot at.


"Knight Rider: Out of the Woods (#4.14)" (1986)
K.I.T.T.: You know, I have to admit I hope it turns out Whitby is innocent. I owe him a favor.
Michael Knight: Alright, let me have it...
K.I.T.T.: He forced you to take off that hat.
Michael Knight: Funny, K.I.T.T., that's very funny.

K.I.T.T.: [talking like a New York cabbie] Mickey, for you the moon, you know that!
Michael Knight: [severely annoyed] Get me the moon, get me the data, get me a pizza, but please, stop talking like that, just do it without talking, please.

K.I.T.T.: [riding a bumpy road] Backroad? This isn't even a cowpath.
Michael Knight: Tell me about it. Riding that bull was easier. I'm getting bruises on my bruises.

Michael Knight: [phoney New York accent] Hey, this is your lucky day. I'm gonna make yous an offer yous can't refuse. I won't tease you about your New York accent, if you won't tease me about my serious cowboy hat.
K.I.T.T.: Very good Michael, I accept your offer.

Michael Knight: Hi, name is Knight. Mike Knight.


"Knight Rider: K.I.T.T. the Cat (#2.7)" (1983)
K.I.T.T.: My sensors indicate you're somewhat disturbed, Michael.
Michael Knight: Yeah, you could say that. Look, I want you to scan the building. I wanna find out if Eliott's was robbed last night or not.
K.I.T.T.: [Kitt starts his scan] Fret like abrasions indicate the play cable against the edge of the office window. I also detect the residue of a foreign substance with considerable abrasive properties.

Michael Knight: Kitt, wait a minute, run a medical scan on Griffin. See if you can find the old war injury.
K.I.T.T.: [Kitt scans Griffin who is walking on the opposite side of the street] I do detect an early trauma to Mr. Griffin's left upper femur.
Michael Knight: Well, in that case it seems kinda strange that he limps on his right leg, don't you think?

Michael Knight: So much for old war wounds, huh?
K.I.T.T.: To quote the cliché, it appears the butler did it.

Michael Knight: Oh yeah, how do you feel about heights?
K.I.T.T.: They are quite literally for the birds, Michael.
[Michael laughs like Burt Reynolds]

K.I.T.T.: You know, Michael, I've been thinking of changing my name.
Michael Knight: Oh yeah, what's that, pal?
K.I.T.T.: K.I.T.T. the Cat.


"Knight Rider: Trust Doesn't Rust (#1.9)" (1982)
Michael Knight: KITT, we gotta get this guy to a hospital, buddy.
KITT: Michael, that car. It could've been my twin. It was exactly like me.
Michael Knight: Not exactly, buddy. It almost killed me.

[Referring to Bonnie]
KITT: She's right, Michael.
Michael Knight: Ah, you always liked her better!

KITT: Michael, why do you need to socialize with so many women? Wouldn't one be sufficient?
Michael Knight: KITT, you're beginning to sound like my mother, here. I mean, what's wrong with a little companionship?
KITT: Eh?
Michael Knight: You can understand that.
KITT: No, Michael, I cannot. When you're one-of-a-kind, companionship does not compute.

Michael Knight: Why wasn't I told about the other car?
Devon Miles: Oh, Michael please.
Michael Knight: No Michael please, I had a right to know.
Devon Miles: Yes you did. Let me explain. Six months before we found you in the desert, near death, Wilton activated what was probably the crowning achievement of his life.
Michael Knight: KITT.
Devon Miles: No, KARR. K-A-R-R.
Michael Knight: What's KARR?
Devon Miles: The Knight Automated Roving Robot. That was Wilton's title for his prototype vehicle.
Michael Knight: I think I like KITT better.
Devon Miles: You can say that again. Now, KITT's primary function is to serve you. To protect you from harm.
Bonnie Barstow: But KARR had no such programming. Instead, it's primary fuction is self-preservation.
Michael Knight: And that was a mistake?
Devon Miles: A major one. Consider the circumstances, just as Wilton realized he made a mistake by not programming KARR properly, he company was virtually toppled from within by the same people that left you for dead on that desert highway. As we struggled to save your life, and I attempted to build a safer car, the earlier model was put in storage. I thought Wilton had it dismantled before he died. But, I was wrong.
Michael Knight: Ok, I'm sorry. But I still don't see how one computer program can make all that much difference.
Bonnie Barstow: Michael, KITT's primary function to protect human life, is for one of a better word, altruistic.
Devon Miles: But KARR without that program is self-serving. Almost animalistic in nature. Being devoid of a conscience, it's potentially dangerous. If the people who now have it, misuse it. Program it with information that it considers threatening, they could create a menace that would quickly grow beyond their control.
Michael Knight: Devon?
Devon Miles: Yes, Michael?
Michael Knight: I think we should get that car back.

KARR: KITT, I am warning you. Change course at once!
KITT: I am not in control, KARR.
KARR: Then tell the humans to turn away. This is folly, KITT.
Bonnie Barstow: He's right.
KITT: He's right.
Michael Knight: No way.
KITT: Michael, what are you doing?
Michael Knight: Remember Zeno and that immovable object thing? We're about to find out that answer.
KARR: Your lives mean nothing to me!
KITT: Michael, please. Pardon the expression, but he does have a few screws loose. Turn. KARR doesn't have my programming to protect human life.
Michael Knight: That's what I'm counting on, buddy.
Bonnie Barstow: What?
KITT: Michael, I cannot allow you to jeopardize your life. I am assuming control.
[engages Auto Cruise Mode]
Michael Knight: No, you're not, KITT!
[presses Normal Function button]
Bonnie Barstow: Michael, you know all those times I've called you irresponsible and impulsive? I didn't mean it.
Michael Knight: Bonnie, remember all those times I called you bossy and demanding? I didn't mean it, either.
KITT: Michael, Bonnie...
Michael Knight, Bonnie Barstow: Yes, KITT?
KITT: Why are you lying to each other?
KARR: Turn away. Turn away.
[KARR swerves away from KITT and jumps off a cliff]
KARR: No!
[shouts]
KARR: No!
[crashes and explodes into the ocean]


"Knight Rider: Knight of a Thousand Devils (#4.17)" (1986)
Devon Miles: Looks like a carefully constructed trainwreck.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Come on, boss, stop putting down my wheels!
Michael Knight: He meant the drawings, RC, I got them before the place blew up tonight.

Anna-Lucia Cortez: You're a nice person, Michael Knight.
Michael Knight: So are you Ana-Lucia, so are you.
Anna-Lucia Cortez: I kept you up all night.
Michael Knight: That's alright, after the race is over I'm gonna come back and demand equal time.
Anna-Lucia Cortez: You don't have to demand...

Anna-Lucia Cortez: Whew, this is some set of wheels.
Michael Knight: Thank you. You're not bad so yourself.

'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: This baby taught the Baja a lesson.
Michael Knight: Not to mention bringing half of it back with you. Look at this.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Now there you guys go putting down my wheels again.
K.I.T.T.: Don't look at me, RC. My vocal board is sealed.

Michael Knight: [about RC's motorbike] Look, just because this thing has been on the road longer than Willie Nelson and looks it...


"Knight Rider: No Big Thing (#1.8)" (1982)
K.I.T.T.: If you'll glance at my fuel gages you shall see that I'm virtually operating on fumes.
Michael Knight: Well, you're right. Bonnie really goofed up this time, didn't she?
K.I.T.T.: It wasn't Bonnie's fault. It's just that her route plan didn't include the 200 mile diversion involved in you and that young lady you met back in -
Michael Knight: Yeah, yeah, never mind that.
[puts on Bela Lugosi accent]
Michael Knight: I'll, I'll find you some blood, Dracula.
K.I.T.T.: A very innept annalogy if I may say so. Blood has virtually no combustable capabilities at all.

Michael Knight: Devon's busted? Come on, that's ridiculous.
Bonnie Barstow: [on phone] Unfortunately it also happens to be true.
Michael Knight: What did they get him for? Assault with a deadly crumpet?

K.I.T.T.: Michael, remember we're due in Phoenix at five today.
Michael Knight: Yeah, that can wait. I wouldn't miss the chance to bail out our illustrious leader for all the pasta in Italy.
[laughs]

Michael Knight: That trucker sure has a strange way of getting his jollies.
Carol Reston: That's only because you think he was kidding.

Devon Miles: Your timing couldn't have been more felicitous.
Michael Knight: Felicitous? That mean you're glad to see mee?
Devon Miles: I've never been happier to see anyone in my life.


"Knight Rider: Burial Ground (#4.5)" (1985)
Michael Knight: Let's do some old style trackin'.
Susan Christopher: Please, no Indian jokes.

Cyrus Oakes: You seem to know so much, Mr. Knight, since when did you become an Indian?
Michael Knight: When I went through a snake ceremony and lived.

Michael Knight: The Foundation manual specifically states on page 47 section C: when not otherwise engaged, the semi driver should be behind the wheel.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Yeah, but Bonnie's autopilot is so smooth...
Devon Miles: Too smooth. Now RC, I would prefer a more personalized driving experience.

K.I.T.T.: You know, Michael? This being a god is very demanding.
Michael Knight: Yeah, well, stick with what you know, huh?

Michael Knight: Where you're going, you're gonna end up with all the land you're ever gonna need: an eight by eight cell. No digging allowed.


"Knight Rider: Knight in Retreat (#3.20)" (1985)
Bonnie Barstow: Actually the Foundation was thinking of adopting Sheeba as a pet.
K.I.T.T.: You have to be kidding!
Michael Knight: Hey, we have a K.I.T.T... Why not have a cat?
[Sheeba roars]
K.I.T.T.: Very funny!

Bonnie Barstow: So this is the Retreat huh?
Michael Knight: Was, past tense. It's all over now.
Bonnie Barstow: But it was great while it lasted, huh?
Michael Knight: Oh, come on, Bonnie, what's so great about beautiful women running around in bikini's catering to your every need?
Bonnie Barstow: I don't know. You tell me.
Michael Knight: You got a couple of hours?

K.I.T.T.: Michael, are you really certain you want to go through with this?
Michael Knight: K.I.T.T., is my hunch is right, the contacts are somehow made at the Si14 Restaurant, and I gotta have to pass my self off as one very hot piece of space age man power.

Michael Knight: K.I.T.T., I know it'll be asking a lot, but can you make me into a brilliant computer scientist?
K.I.T.T.: Michael, that's not asking a lot, that's asking a miracle.

Michael Knight: That's right, it's called para-sailing.
K.I.T.T.: Wrong, it's called total insanity.
Michael Knight: Well, it just happens to be one of the most popular sports in Acapulco. Only there they do it off the backs of motorboats.
K.I.T.T.: Michael, we're not in Acapulco, and I have about as much in common with motorboat as you have with a seagull.


"Knight Rider: Knight Behind Bars (#4.10)" (1985)
Matt Erickson: Well, the Lone Eagle of the Highway finally landed.
Michael Knight: The Lone Eagle landed two hours ago. You were just too busy to notice.
Matt Erickson: Well, when you're hot you're hot, what can I say, you know?

Michael Knight: [talking into his comlink] K.I.T.T., look for a pretty girl with dark hair leaving in a hurry.
K.I.T.T.: What happened, did the Lone Eagle strike out again?
Michael Knight: Very funny. She's a pickpocket. Keep your scanners peeled.

K.I.T.T.: I don't like this plan, Michael. The people in that place are not nice and I don't mean the prisoners.
Michael Knight: Don't worry, we'll get Julie and Bonnie outta there.

Michael Knight: [to Julie] If they gave out medals for guts, you'd get the gold.

Michael Knight: [Julie has left talk powder prints on Devon's suit] Take it easy, Devon, you could always establish the Foundation dry cleaning fund.
Devon Miles: [Julie, Bonnie and RC start to laugh but Devon is not amused] Ha bloody ha.


"Knight Rider: Speed Demons (#2.17)" (1984)
Michael Knight: Looks like I got a little challenge for you parner, I hate to do this to you...
K.I.T.T.: That's all right, Michael, It's for charity.

K.I.T.T.: Are you going to stop the race?
Michael Knight: That's like stopping a stampede. No, Kitt, you and I have just become the first four wheeled motor team in history.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, I've been watching the race and I've come to the conclusion that there is very little difference between motorcyclists and lemmings jumping off cliffs.
Michael Knight: Right now I need your attention on something a little less hairy. I want you to access Lee Carstairs' agency contracts.
K.I.T.T.: Every time I interface with agency computers I come away wanting to count my circuits. Must I?

K.I.T.T.: Michael, based on the information April gave me on motorcycle racing I must say I'm competely appaled.
Michael Knight: What's the problem, buddy?
K.I.T.T.: Why is so much time and money wasted on a means of transportation that has improved very little since the turn of the century?
Michael Knight: I guess a lot of people just like the feeling of the open air.
K.I.T.T.: Dust and dirt is more like it. If you want wind you can simply open a window without getting half the roadway in your face.

Michael Knight: I know the proceeds are going to charity here, but how the Foundation get involved in a tough sport like motorcycle racing?
April Curtis: Well, you may not believe this, but Devon happens to be quite a fan.
Michael Knight: You're right. I don't believe it.
April Curtis: Well as a matter of fact, when he was a boy he made quite a name for himself in the Tourist Trophy races in Britain.


"Knight Rider: Blind Spot (#2.5)" (1983)
Michael Knight: Alright, I was told to wait in the mall. You wait here. The foreman'll come by and drop the evidence in the window in about two minutes.
K.I.T.T.: Now I'm a mobile mailbox?

Michael Knight: Boy, you're touchy. What you do, wake up on the wrong side of the garage this morning?
K.I.T.T.: Very funny.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, I've been thinking about David Dudley's sportscar. I'm afraid it may have met with a dreadful end.
Michael Knight: I don't follow.
K.I.T.T.: It's occurred to me that in so far as the car is essentially evidence in a shooting, those hoodlums may have disposed of it in that crusher at the wrecking yard.
Michael Knight: Oh, well that would make a compact out of it, wouldn't it?
K.I.T.T.: I fail to see the humor in that. It's a most humiliating way to go, transformed into a tin can..
Michael Knight: Well, I'll remember that the next time I have sardines.
K.I.T.T.: Really, Michael. Sometimes you're so insensitive.

K.I.T.T.: Now is the winter of my discontent, made glorious summer by the son of York.
Michael Knight: Say what?
[Julie laughs out loud]
K.I.T.T.: Shakespeare. I wanted Julie to hear the tonal purity of my voice.
Julie Robinson: Very nice, really.
[Michael laughs]
Julie Robinson: But do I detect a slight reverberation in your tremble?
K.I.T.T.: That does it. I'm tweeters are sealed.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, you've regained consciousness.
Michael Knight: [still groggy] Kitt, where are we?
K.I.T.T.: Inside the compacter. My worst nightmares are being realized. I can see me now, tin cans, TV dinners, garbage can lids.
Michael Knight: Not if I can help it! Give me every ounce of turbo boost you got!


"Knight Rider: Chariot of Gold (#1.18)" (1983)
[discussing the Helios Mansion]
Michael Knight: Let's just say this isn't my kind of place.
Devon Miles: I'm well aware of that, Michael.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, I hope it won't be much longer. This dirt beginning to clog some of my most sensitive instruments.
Michael Knight: We're almost there, buddy. And it isn't just dirt, it's the stuff of ancient Indian civilizations.
K.I.T.T.: Perhaps. But the stuff of ancient Indian civilizations is wreaking havoc on my turbine.

K.I.T.T.: And Helios, the Greek sun-god, the god of brilliance rode to his palace in a chariot of gold.
Michael Knight: Kind of like a Rolls-Royce, right?
K.I.T.T.: I fail to see the logic of that statement.

Michael Knight: Hey, nice jacket!
Irving Farber: [wearing a very loud and unsightly plaid jacket] Oh, thank you. Well, look your best, and you'll always look best to her.

Michael Knight: You're insane.
Graham Deauville: [rubbing the bridge between his eyes] No... not insane, advanced intelligence! And who better to survive than the most intelligent people on the earth?


"Knight Rider: The Final Verdict (#1.11)" (1982)
Devon Miles: Let me present you with your next case.
[hands over a folder]
Michael Knight: I... I got a problem.
Devon Miles: My dear boy, don't be so modest. You have a wide range of problems.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, wouldn't it be more advantageous to go the local D.A. and arrange for expedition?
Michael Knight: I don't think so, K.I.T.T., take too long.
K.I.T.T.: But perhaps they'd overrule Lieutenant Dickerson and allow us to transport Marty back to Albuquerque?
Michael Knight: Remember what Dickerson said? This is his turf, he calls the shots. I don't see that man giving us any help at all
K.I.T.T.: In that case, my microwave jammers are ready.
Michael Knight: All right.
[pushes button]
K.I.T.T.: Showtime!

Marty King: There's one thing you still don't seem to understand.
Michael Knight: [shouting] What?
Marty King: I'm a coward.

Al Farland: I imagine the cops will give you a very nice bonus for that set of books.
Michael Knight: I'm not working for the police.
Al Farland: Oh no? That's too bad. I hear they give very good funerals.

Michael Knight: What's the matter now?
Marty King: There's something I gotta tell ya... I get car sick.


"Knight Rider: White Bird (#1.19)" (1983)
K.I.T.T.: [Michael is humming along with the music] Michael?
Michael Knight: Yeah, Kitt?
K.I.T.T.: C is beyond your grasp and D is beyond your vision.
Michael Knight: I didn't know you had perfect pitch.
K.I.T.T.: It's a cross I have to bare.
Michael Knight: You do it so well.
K.I.T.T.: Thank you.
Michael Knight: De nada.

Michael Knight: Bonnie...
[sighs]
Michael Knight: ...in my other life when I had a different face, when I didn't have this identity, when I was Michael Long... Stephanie and I were engaged to be married.

Michael Knight: [driving Kitt] What are you looking for?
Stephanie: The microwave and the sunlamp
[Michael laughs]

Michael Knight: I lover her Devon. Are you telling me I can never love anybody?
Devon Miles: Everything changes Michael. I can't look into the future but I know that right now you have a choice to make. A decision. I know you'll make the right one.

Michael Knight: Now my plan for the first one is to start rattling cages. And I'm gonna keep rattling cages until all the monkeys fall. So you get yourself a real good grip.


"Knight Rider: Merchants of Death (#2.4)" (1983)
K.I.T.T.: Michael, I don't see the appeal of these songs. They're all about surfing, sun and girls in bikinis. What exactly is the allure of Southern California?
Michael Knight: You just said it, pal. And thanks to the Foundation, that's our next stop...

Devon Miles: I wonder what it was Amelia found this time?
[sits down]
Michael Knight: What do you mean, this time? There were others?
Devon Miles: Oh yes, she was the most inquisitive woman I've ever known.
Michael Knight: You loved her, didn't you?
Devon Miles: Yes I did. To think, always at the back of my mind there was the possibility that one day, perhaps...
[pause]
Devon Miles: She married someone else. Over the years we saw each other very seldom, but every time we did meet, it was as if we had never been apart.

K.I.T.T.: It must be very difficult to erase people from ones memorybanks.
Michael Knight: That's the problem Kitt, you don't... you can't.
K.I.T.T.: If that's true they become a permanent part of you.
Michael Knight: The best of 'em do, buddy. The best of 'em do just that.

Michael Knight: What's all that?
April Curtis: [hands over a bundle of clothes] Eh, the latest in mercenary wear. It comes pre-soiled.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, why is it you never go undercover as an aristocrat or a count?
Michael Knight: Good question, Kitt. I'm gonna have to ask Devon about that.
K.I.T.T.: I'll bet not a soul in there speaks French.
[Michael laughs]


"Knight Rider: Big Iron (#2.24)" (1984)
K.I.T.T.: [Michael and Kitt have just caught their man] I'm afraid the only big iron you'll be handling for a long time is going to belong to the department of corrections.
Michael Knight: I couldn't have said it better myself, pal.

Michael Knight: Lucy, you really hate Frank that much?
Lucy Sanderson: Why would I steal from Frank? He gives me everything I want. Materially at least. Which is funny. Because all I ever wanted was someone to love me.

Michael Knight: Something in my bones tells me I'm right.
K.I.T.T.: The ultraphonic analyzer indicates there's absolutely nothing unusual about your bones.
Michael Knight: I'm talking about a feeling here, I'm talking about a gut reaction.
K.I.T.T.: And I'm showing no unusual activity in your gastrointestinal system.

Michael Knight: Well, looks like Joe Glover's home.
K.I.T.T.: Yes, but you forgot the 'Hair of the dog'.
Michael Knight: Guess I'll have to rely on boyish charm.

Michael Knight: You don't trust me, huh? You've never seen me before, you don't exactly know what I'm up to and don't care for my aftershave.
[the waitress giggles at Michael's boyish charm]


"Knight Rider: Custom Made Killer (#3.12)" (1985)
Michael Knight: [driving KITT] I'm on my way in.
Devon Miles: [through KITT's video monitor] Good. You've been rather difficult to reach lately, particularly last night.
Michael Knight: I got a weakness for dancers.
Devon Miles: Dancers pirouette on their toes to the strains of violins and flutes. They do not gesticulate wildly to the throbbing beat of bongo drums and saxophones.
Michael Knight: Devon, they are innocent girls working their way through college.
Devon Miles: [Devon glares at Michael]
Michael Knight: Besides, every once in a while, I gotta get away...
KITT: Away from whom?
Michael Knight: Uh - I just gotta get away, period.
Devon Miles: This subject is closed, for now.

Michael Knight: [trying on new jacket] Fits like a glove.
Louis: It's supposed to fit like a jacket.
Debra: I haven't heard that line since I left New York.
Louis: It was time.

Michael Knight: Don't you think we owe her a little something more?
Louis: Like what? She's got enough money from insurance.
Michael Knight: Like Grebb's scalp!
Louis: [laughs] I know this is the West, but there's no more cowboys and indians.
Michael Knight: Hey, it's the same difference, you know, we're just a bunch of small time operators here fighting the Big Bad Wolf, you know, the cattle baron. And none of us can fight this guy alone. We need to get a group of our own people together. A posse.
Louis: That car musta hit you too hard. How's your head?

Michael Knight: He uses the garment industry to clean up his money, he's got a legitimate cash flow.
Devon Miles: In Harvard they call it 'vertical Integrity'.
Michael Knight: On the street they call it 'Monopoly'.
Devon Miles: Really?

KITT: The similarity of hocky and a war between various cavemen tribes on a frozen lake bares a very close parallel.
Michael Knight: Are sure you're not becoming a bit of a snob?
Devon Miles: [view screen flashes 'Priority Overide', Devon appears] Snob? Who are you calling a snob?


"Knight Rider: Killer K.I.T.T. (#4.13)" (1986)
Michael Knight: K.I.T.T. said the image wasn't clear.
Devon Miles: Why would he say that?
Michael Knight: I don't know, Devon, he's having some kind of attitude problem. It happened right after the attack. The impact must have knocked Bonnie's adjustments out of line.

Michael Knight: Now get me Bonnie.
K.I.T.T.: You can dial direct, Michael.
Michael Knight: Alright, that's it. I'm sorry, buddy. I'm shutting you down.

Michael Knight: [using his new comlink while rinding RC's bike] Tell RC his bike's running just fine. I'll take good care of his pride and joy.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: You hear that Bonnie? My 'pile of junk' is humming along.
Bonnie Barstow: I heard RC. Michael also said he'd take good care of it. And you know how he takes care of equipment.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Oh, my wheels!

Michael Knight: How you doing, pal?
K.I.T.T.: I ain't your pal.
Michael Knight: You said 'ain't'. You must be sick.

K.I.T.T.: It was horrible.
Michael Knight: You know, you would've hated yourself, you even said the word 'ain't'.
K.I.T.T.: Ugh! Unforgivable.


"Knight Rider: Buy Out (#3.15)" (1985)
KITT: How are you going to get in?
Michael Knight: I'm going to pick the locks.
KITT: But, Michael, that's illegal!
Michael Knight: So was the way we parked.

Michael Knight: Blowing me up in your garage won't fall into your patern of accidents.
Eugene Hanson: [holding a gun on Michael] Going to prison doesn't fall into my pattern of living.

Michael Knight: The armored plate in the door on that limousine was so below spec you could use it to wrap sandwiches.
Eugene Hanson: That's a powerful accusation.
Lilah Graham: Ease up, Gene. He hasn't proved a thing. He's a driver, he's got a gas tank for a brain and a tail pipe for a mouth.
Michael Knight: That's right. And I've been behind the wheel long enough to know when I'm on the right track.
Eugene Hanson: You trying to say something?
Michael Knight: I just did.

Michael Knight: Ok, let's look good pal, there's a lot riding on this one.
KITT: Michael, I always look good.


"Knight Rider: Hills of Fire (#4.18)" (1986)
Michael Knight: That was great! I feel like a kid.
K.I.T.T.: So do I, Michael, and I've never been one.

Michael Knight: Arson's a nasty habit, but prison can also burn you out.

K.I.T.T.: He's heading for that slope again, Michael.
Michael Knight: Yeah, only this time we can really stick it to 'em.

Michael Knight: Well, that explains why Gomez turned firebug. Drugs were the deal, arson was the insurance.


"Knight Rider: Mouth of the Snake (#2.21)" (1984)
Michael Knight: Look, you just saved my skin. And whether you like it or not we're after the same think here, so why don't we pool our resources?
David Dalton: I work alone.
Michael Knight: Well, me too, but I don't make a religion out of it.
[Dalton starts walking, Michael joins him]
Michael Knight: Alright, cards on the table: you're name's David Dalton. You live in Washington DC, you're seldom there. You have a quote unquote unofficial relationship with the former department of justice VIP named Archibald Hendley. You disappear weeks at a time, doing things you couldn't discuss at cocktail partners. Those are the highlights, I'm working on the details.
David Dalton: You're Michael Knight. You work for the Foundation for Law and Government with an Englishman named Miles. You've been here nearly three years. Who or what you did before that seems to be a real mystery. Probably not the kind of things you can discuss at your fancy fundraisers. I'm working on the blank spots too.

Michael Knight: So, the plot thickens. I bet this guy David Dalton is not down in Mexico looking for the world's biggest burrito.

Michael Knight: Joanna, you're stretched tighter than a drum, I can see it in your eyes.
[she turns to him]
Michael Knight: You know, it's ok to cry.

Michael Knight: Boca Culebra is a perfect description. The mouth looks like an abandoned mine shaft, a hole where the dirt comes out. The snake is an underground tunnel dug by force labor.


"Knight Rider: Brother's Keeper (#2.3)" (1983)
K.I.T.T.: I must say, Michael, this adventure does have a certain appeal.
Michael Knight: [looking at a model being photographed] Yeah, I see what you mean.
K.I.T.T.: Think of it, we're fugitives of a sort. Desperado's on the lam. We must be extremely careful, if we're careful we could end up on a chain-gang.
Michael Knight: Chain gang? That's the 30s, pal. I'd end up in the pen stamping license plates. And I'd probably be making them out pieces of you.
K.I.T.T.: They'll never take me alive.

K.I.T.T.: How did it go, Michael?
Michael Knight: Fenton's definitely our man. But he sure plays a mean game of chess.
K.I.T.T.: Chess, the two of you played chess?
Michael Knight: No, I mean the man's got ice in his veins.
K.I.T.T.: Oh dear, that does sound serious.

K.I.T.T.: Aren't we rather foolhardy to move at our present speed and make ourselves quite so visible to police officers? After all, we are fugitives.
Michael Knight: No time for hide and seek now.
K.I.T.T.: Very well, but it defies criminal logic.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, I have a confession. I'm rather pleased our life of crime has come to an end.
April Curtis: [sits down on Kitt's hood] Well now, that makes two of us.
Michael Knight: What's the matter? Tired of living in the fast lane, pal?
K.I.T.T.: No, it's simply that my research indicates that not one vehicle or steed of a noted desperado ever received the acclaim of its owner. Nor did they share in any of the criminal profits. It's quite clear: crime doesn't pay.


"Knight Rider: Diamonds Aren't a Girl's Best Friend (#2.14)" (1984)
K.I.T.T.: Michael, I'm not sure I understand. What will these models be wearing?
Michael Knight: Next spring's fashions, why?
K.I.T.T.: If the clothing last spring seemed satisfactory, why create new apparel?
Michael Knight: Kitt, people's taste's change. They like new designs, new lines.
K.I.T.T.: Why can't people be content with what they have?
Michael Knight: Think at it this way, Kitt, if Detroit had been content, you'd still be a model T
[chuckles]

Devon Miles: Tea?
Michael Knight: No thank you, I'm going to a party.

Devon Miles: Oh and Michael, remember, the Foundation has no legal jurisdiction in Mexico.
Michael Knight: Neither does Bernie Mitchell.

K.I.T.T.: I do not intend to set one wheel inside an airplane.
Michael Knight: Kitt, buddy, I need you to translate for me. Why don't you wanna go?
K.I.T.T.: Because... I don't like flying.
Devon Miles: But Kitt, you've never flown before.
K.I.T.T.: One doesn't have to be bitten by a dog to dislike dogbites. Besides, if cars were meant to fly they would have been made with wings.
Michael Knight: Alright, if that's how you feel, I'll go alone, I'll pick up a rental car in Mexico city.
K.I.T.T.: A rental car? Michael, you wouldn't.
[pause]
K.I.T.T.: Perhaps I could make this one flight an exception.
Michael Knight: I had a feeling you'd see it that way.


"Knight Rider: Knightmares (#2.11)" (1983)
Devon Miles: [on Kitt's video monitor] You're still tracking the truck, Michael?
Michael Knight: Not any more, I'm chasing it. With a little luck, my Swamp Fox technique will pay off.
K.I.T.T.: What on earth is Swamp Fox?
Michael Knight: The greatest tracker of all time, Kitt. My childhood hero.
Devon Miles: Well, please remember, it's the catching that's the important part of the chase. Now keep me posted.
[signs off]
K.I.T.T.: Swamp Fox. Really, Michael...

Michael Knight: Alright. I drive from here on.
K.I.T.T.: Absolutely.
[switches to Normal Cruise]
K.I.T.T.: Providing you'll promise me one thing.
Michael Knight: What?
K.I.T.T.: Please do not refer to me as a 'car' or a 'set of wheels', it's most demeaning. I'm the Knight Industries Two Thousand. You always called me 'Kitt'.
Michael Knight: Alright, Kitt, let's see what you can do.

K.I.T.T.: Welcome back, Michael. I thought as a little present I'd play you some of that appaling music you like so much.
Michael Knight: Thanks, buddy. Come on, let's shatter some airwaves.

Michael Knight: So, K.I.T.T. - - you say that I was your partner, and that my name was Michael Knight. Well, tell me, then - - what was this 'Michael Knight' like personality-wise?
K.I.T.T.: Well, I remember that he was bright, agile, and often quite logical. He could also be stubborn, impatient, and arrogant, he often drove like a maniac, he was readily distracted by pretty girls, and he listened to perhaps the most appalling music to ever shatter my airwaves.
Michael Knight: [approvingly] Really? Sounds like my kinda guy.
K.I.T.T.: Yes, I was afraid you'd say that. And there's something else I remember about him, too.
Michael Knight: What's that, K.I.T.T.?
K.I.T.T.: [complacently] I was also extremely fond of him.


"Knight Rider: Nobody Does It Better (#1.21)" (1983)
Michael Knight: Hey Devon, wanna play? See if you can beat me?
Devon Miles: Michael, I have no intention of engaging in a game of 'Space Cadets'.
Michael Knight: Why not?
Devon Miles: Because I fail to understand the attraction of such a frivolous pasttime.
Michael Knight: I bet your mother used to tell you the same thing when you'd run off and play cricket.
Devon Miles: [miffed] Cricket's frivolous? Actually it was my nanny, and I happened to be in kindergarten at the time.

K.I.T.T.: [loud music is playing at Delton Micronics at night] Does that sound like business or pleasure?
Michael Knight: You got me, pal.

Michael Knight: [just after Flannery discovered a dead body] You just had a pretty strong dose of reality, it'll take you a while to shake it off.
P. I. Flannery Roe: It was my first murder, that's all. They say once you get the first one under your belt, it hardens you.
Michael Knight: No, that's not true. You never get used to it.

Michael Knight: I thought you learned something about yourself last night.
P. I. Flannery Roe: What I learned was that the tough don't have to get going just because the going gets tough.


"Knight Rider: Circus Knights (#3.22)" (1985)
Michael Knight: [being charged by a circus clown firetruck] Now I've seen everything!
K.I.T.T.: What are they going to do? Kill us with confetti?

K.I.T.T.: Michael, I have that information you wanted on ITZ. Michael, I have that information you wanted on ITZ.
Michael Knight: Lay it on me.
K.I.T.T.: It's not exactly what you'd call a high profile organization. It has more puzzling twists and turns than an Agatha Cristie novel.

Michael Knight: Okay KITT, break a leg.
K.I.T.T.: In my case, it's 'blow a tire'

Michael Knight: For those of you who haven't already heard of me, allow me to introduce myself: I am the world renowned Turbo Man.
[the circus folk mutter his name in awe]
Michael Knight: And this is my flying carpet, Kitt.
K.I.T.T.: You're flying carpet...
Michael Knight: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, my talking flying carpet, Kitt.


"Knight Rider: Junk Yard Dog (#3.14)" (1985)
Michael Knight: I thought you were one of those old type heroes, you know. The kind who just drove off into the sunset, secure in the knowledge that you could handle any situation that might arise.
K.I.T.T.: I don't know if those old time heroes were so much. I mean they always drank sarsaparilla and never kissed the girl. Well what was all that about? Michael? Michael?
[Michael is busy kissing the girl]

Michael Knight: [K.I.T.T. is in pieces, being rebuild from the ground up] Hey pal, it's me, Michael...
K.I.T.T.: [after a pause, quite weak] Hello, Michael.
Michael Knight: Hey, how ya doing, buddy? Ready for a couple of one-eighties, maybe a couple o' nineties, a little crash through a wall? Huh?
[pause]
Michael Knight: I'm just kidding here.
[another pause]
Michael Knight: K.I.T.T.?
K.I.T.T.: I guess my humor mode needs a little more work.

Michael Knight: [about Acid John] He likes his manicures today, but he came up from the streets, and there's still plenty of dirt left under those fingernails.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, Devon is calling.
Devon Miles: [on video screen] Hello Michael.
Michael Knight: Hello yourself, if you'd waited a couple more minutes, we could talk face to face, we're almost back to the semi now.
Devon Miles: Well, that's why I called you. I'm afraid I won't be there, I injured my back. And I don't want any cracks about falling off barstools, chasing blondes, slipping on banana peels or anything like that.
Michael Knight: Somehow that image didn't occur to me.


"Knight Rider: Race for Life (#2.16)" (1984)
Becky Phillips: [Michael and April visit Becky in hospital] We rode in an ambulance, and we ran a red light.
April Curtis: Ooooh!
Michael Knight: No kidding? Was the ambulance faster than Kitt?
Becky Phillips: Well... maybe, but not as nice.

Julio Rodriquez: Hey, what is this, you got some guy at the shop you're talking to?
Michael Knight: No, I got a computer right here. Julio, meet Kitt. Kitt's part of the family.
K.I.T.T.: Thank you Michael.

Julio Rodriquez: Hey Mike, when someone buys it in the street, you gotta put the finger somewhere. Otherwise you got no place to put all the anger.
Michael Knight: Why don't you put it on the truth?

Michael Knight: You think the enemy shot your brother, but sometimes the most dangerous enemy can be the one you trust the most.


"Knight Rider: Just My Bill (#1.6)" (1982)
K.I.T.T.: Bonnie, with those hands, you should have been a surgeon.
Bonnie Barstow: That's what my dad always said. I had to practically slash my wrists to convince him I couldn't stand the sight of blood.
Michael Knight: Medicine's loss, our gain.

Sen. Maggie Flynn: It, it talks! Is there anything this car can't do?
Michael Knight: Well, it can't cook.
K.I.T.T.: I wasn't programmed to cook.
Sen. Maggie Flynn: Touché.

Michael Knight: All right, where to now, Senator?
Sen. Maggie Flynn: Back to the office. Hm. I have a climbing date with a mountain of paperwork.

Michael Knight: [K.I.T.T. is being shot at] It's ok, it's ok, Maggie. K.I.T.T.'s got a pretty thick skin.
K.I.T.T.: Please be precise, Michael, it's not thick, it's simply a bulletproof alloy.
Sen. Maggie Flynn: I can't tell you how I'm counting on that.


"Knight Rider: Redemption of a Champion (#4.16)" (1986)
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: What's Davis got to do with it?
Michael Knight: Maybe nothing, maybe forty million reasons called dollars.

Ruth Keeler: What kind of car is this?
Michael Knight: Eh... it's an '87. I got an early delivery.
K.I.T.T.: Really, Michael.
Ruth Keeler: It talks?
Michael Knight: [nodding] Yeah.
Ruth Keeler: What'll we have in '88?
Michael Knight: Hopefully, quieter cars.

Michael Knight: Buddy, have you heard the poem 'How do I love thee, let me count the ways'?
K.I.T.T.: Michael, this is no time for sentimentality.
Michael Knight: You're right, pal.

Michael Knight: Make sure you protect your head, will ya?
Bo Keeler: Yeah. You make sure you can fight as well as you talk.
Michael Knight: [laughs] Don't worry, I got a real good corner man... K.I.T.T.?


"Knight Rider: Knightlines (#3.16)" (1985)
Michael Knight: [threatening to detonate an explosive] Don't mess with me. If I go, I don't mind taking slime like you with me.

Devon Miles: Michael, I want those men.
Michael Knight: You and me both!

Michael Knight: Hang loose, I'll be right back.
K.I.T.T.: Hang loose?

K.I.T.T.: Twisted Sister, Quiet Riot, Iron Maiden, Michael, where do they get these names?
Michael Knight: [laughs] Heavy metal, partner, heavy metal. Macho rock and roll.


"Knight Rider: Give Me Liberty... or Give Me Death (#1.15)" (1983)
Michael Knight: Em, listen, when you finish up work tonight, how about you and I going out for a little dinner?
Bonnie Barstow: I'd love to Michael, but I'm spending the night with Kitt.
Michael Knight: Oh well, you two have a real good time.
Bonnie Barstow: [sits down] First I have to recharge his components, then I have to convert the engine to run on liquid hydrogine, then I have to flush his systems... and adjust his timing.
Michael Knight: Recharge his components? Flush his system? Kitt, don't you dare take advantage of her tonight.
K.I.T.T.: I won't.
Bonnie Barstow: Would you get out of here, you yo-yo!
[Michael leaves]
Bonnie Barstow: Kitt, I hope you're not picking up his warped sense of humor.
Bonnie Barstow: I'm trying my best not to.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, I can serve you better if I'm familiar with your strategy.
Michael Knight: Good point, Kitt. Our game plan is simple yet complex. We lay low, we blend in with the other racers on and off the course. We observe, deduce and analyse.
K.I.T.T.: In other words were winging it, as usual.
Michael Knight: [laughs] You got it.

K.I.T.T.: [Michael has rescued Liberty from certain death but has neglected to untie her] Michael, she would like you to take the gag off.
Michael Knight: Oh.
[laughs]
Michael Knight: I don't think so. You know, this is the first conversation I've ever had with you where I get a word in edgewise?

Michael Knight: What do you think Devon?
Devon Miles: It goes against the grain to see a man rewarded for insubordination.


"Knight Rider: Knight Strike (#3.21)" (1985)
Michael Knight: I think I'll rattle Jastrow's cage and see what crawls out.

Shiela: You guys are all the same. You drive a jazzy custom car, blow dry your hair...
[sighs]
Shiela: and your eyes never stop wandering. I just want a guy, oh, who's dependable, personable and bankable, huh, am I making myself clear?
Michael Knight: Look Sheila, I think they're called husbands.

Edgar: You're pall here just hit me.
Michael Knight: [disbelieving] He hit you?
Edgar: I don't chew my cabbage twice!


"Knight Rider: Knight of the Chameleon (#3.11)" (1984)
Armand Pressler: I'm sorry, I already have another buyer. However, I'm not a man to let honor stand in the way of greed. Shall we say the price is five million, cash of course?
Michael Knight: [posing as Jack Smith] Shall we say: when can I get it?

K.I.T.T.: [Chasing master of disguise 'The Chameleon'] He's outsmarted himself, Michael. It dead ends in a cliff just ahead. We got him.
Michael Knight: Don't count on it, he might disguise himself as a rock or a bush... or even a chameleon.

K.I.T.T.: Since soldiers of fortune invariably use aliases, you can choose between John Doe, Jack Smith or Joe Brown.
Michael Knight: I'll take Jack Smith. Sounds like a winner.


"Knight Rider: A Nice, Indecent Little Town (#1.17)" (1983)
Michael Knight: Boy, I don't believe this place. It's like it's frozen out of the fifties. I keep expecting to see Wally and the Beaver.
K.I.T.T.: Wally and the Beaver? That doesn't compute Michael. Are they a part of the counterfeit operation?

Michael Knight: Writing is hell? I thought the expression was 'war is hell'.
Jobina: Obviously said by someone who never attempted to write.

Devon Miles: Well, now that Aunt Martha is back at the helm of the Halleluja press again, she wanted each of you to have a keepsake.
Bonnie Barstow: Ah, a bible.
Michael Knight: Hey, that's nice.
Bonnie Barstow: Beautiful, isn't it?
Devon Miles: Yes, quite. And informative.
K.I.T.T.: May I ask who programmed it?
Michael Knight: [Michael, Devon and Bonnie laugh awkwardly] Well, that's, eh, kind of a long story, Kitt.
K.I.T.T.: That's all right, Michael, I have plenty of time.


"Knight Rider: The Scent of Roses (#4.12)" (1986)
K.I.T.T.: Michael, I may not be flesh and blood, but I am a friend. And I wish you happiness, but I still don't understand.
Michael Knight: In a way... neither do I.

K.I.T.T.: [Last Lines] Where are we going Michael?
Michael Knight: We are going home to family. We are going to the Foundation.

Michael Knight: The day he killed my wife he signed his own death certificate! You got 59 MINUTES!


"Knight Rider: Knight of the Rising Sun (#4.21)" (1986)
Michael Knight: O'Brien served with Devon on the allied command in Korea in the early fifties.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: You got any idea what kind of jackpot this guy is in?
Michael Knight: All I know is, we are not here to send K.I.T.T. to the far east and have him come back as a crate of ghetto blasters.
K.I.T.T.: Michael, you're analogy is quite disturbing.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Hey, don't worry, K.I.T.T. I am a strong advocate of buy American. I wouldn't buy you if you had a foreign label.
K.I.T.T.: That's very patriotic of you, RC.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Thanks, K.I.T.T.
K.I.T.T.: Now if you'd just work on your taste in music...

'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Something tells me these... are the bad guys.
Michael Knight: Something tells me you're right.

Michael Knight: You're rising sun just set, Tanega!


"Knight Rider: The Ice Bandits (#3.3)" (1984)
Michael Knight: It'll have to look like the police are hot on my tail. I got it: we invent a crime, feed it to the wire services.
K.I.T.T.: As you wish, Michael. Let's see. I think you fit the embezzler mold.
Michael Knight: [smiles] Thanks a lot, pal, but I was thinking of something a little more violent.

Brother Francis: You'll have to forgive brother Tyrone, he's taken a vow of silence. Unfortunately, he was never able to work without talking.
Michael Knight: [donkey in background bleats] Yeah, I, eh, I know what that's like.
Brother Francis: And that's Kit.
Michael Knight: How did you know that?
Brother Francis: Oh but I named him when he was just a little ass.
K.I.T.T.: I beg your pardon?
Michael Knight: [donkey bleats again] You're donkey's name is Kit?
Brother Francis: Yes.
K.I.T.T.: Well you won't see any flies on me.

K.I.T.T.: [Michael has just been in a fight] Michael, are you alright?
Michael Knight: Yeah, I'm just a little dusty.
K.I.T.T.: I don't suppose he has any diamonds on him?
Michael Knight: No Kitt, not even a rhinestone.


"Knight Rider: Knight by a Nose (#3.13)" (1985)
Michael Knight: K.I.T.T...
Bonnie Barstow: Did you bet a horse?
Devon Miles: With Foundation money?
K.I.T.T.: Michael, I was just trying to bail out your auto currency statement. Statistically, I couldn't lose.
Devon Miles: That's what they all say.
K.I.T.T.: Michael, can I ask you a favor?
Michael Knight: [leans closer] Yeah partner, what is it?
K.I.T.T.: Lend me 20 dollars?

Michael Knight: Speaking of which, how about dipping into Bonnie's little magic money machine for me, will you partner?
K.I.T.T.: Michael, it's called an Auto Currency Dispenser and there's nothing magic about it. We have to account for every penny.
Michael Knight: I know, I know, I'm just a little lean on cash this week.

Michael Knight: Sleek, spirited and moves like a hurricane.
K.I.T.T.: Michael, you're too kind.
Michael Knight: Not you pal, the fortuity preview on Max's horse.
K.I.T.T.: What, a horse? Try stubborn, skittish and expensive to maintain.
Michael Knight: Not at all like you.


"Knight Rider: Lost Knight (#3.10)" (1984)
KITT: Do we know each other?
Michael Knight: Know each other? Butch know Sundance? Smith know Weston? Abbot know Costello?

Conrad Morris: Who are you?
Michael Knight: Just a guy who knows who you are.

Michael Knight: Kitt, say something to me, will ya?
KITT: I am... Knight Industries... I am a... I... would you please repeat the question?


"Knight Rider: The Nineteenth Hole (#3.17)" (1985)
Michael Knight: What kind 'a camera did you use?
Jamie Downs: The best. My grandfather used it in the war.
Michael Knight: [examines the camera] What war was that?
Jamie Downs: I figured if it was good enough for the battle of the bulge, it was good enough for the Marberry motel.

Daisy Doolittle: [pointing at K.I.T.T] What's that funny little red light in front?
Michael Knight: That is eh... eh, automatic garage door opener.
Daisy Doolittle: Ah!
Michael Knight: Can you tell me where I can find the sponsor?
Daisy Doolittle: Right over there. Eh, it's winner take all. In case your interested, that was my nickname in high school.
Michael Knight: Winner?
Daisy Doolittle: All.

Michael Knight: [driving to a race event] A quiet peaceful retirement community?
K.I.T.T.: Bonnie meticulously revises my databanks regularly. Is it possible we are in the wrong Marberry?
Michael Knight: I don't think so. It seems to me, Marberry has changed its image, partner.
K.I.T.T.: None for the better if you ask me. Is nothing sacred? Isn't there anywhere safe from fast cars and Rock 'n Roll?
Michael Knight: You tell me, you're the one with the meticulously revised databanks.
Daisy Doolittle: [walking around K.I.T.T] Is that thing blown?
K.I.T.T.: I bet your pardon?
Michael Knight: Not now K.I.T.T. I beg your pardon?
Daisy Doolittle: Eh, you know, blown as in supercharged.
Michael Knight: Eh, does it matter?
Daisy Doolittle: Only if you want to win.
Michael Knight: I'll let you know.
Daisy Doolittle: [pointing at K.I.T.T] What's that funny little red light in front?
Michael Knight: That is eh... eh, automatic garage door opener.
[flashes big grin]
Daisy Doolittle: Aaah!
Michael Knight: Can you tell me where I can find the sponsor?
Daisy Doolittle: Right over there. Eh, it's winner take all. In case your interested, that was my nickname in high school.
Michael Knight: Winner?
Daisy Doolittle: All.
Michael Knight: [while walking away] The wisdom of youth.


"Knight Rider: KITTnap (#4.3)" (1985)
Michael Knight: Devon, I'm telling ya, you should have seen that jump, K.I.T.T. was beautiful, just like a gazelle.
K.I.T.T.: Michael, I prefer to be likened to a rocket. Cars with animal names are very common.

Michael Knight: They got Karen, and now they got K.I.T.T. I'm the one they want here, maybe I should just go to Martin and offer myself in exchange.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Hey, wow, I'm into chivalry myself, man but Martin's the kind of guy who that'd say to you 'Yeah, come ahead' and then he'd blow ya'll away.

Devon Miles: [on viewscreen] Good luck Michael. Oh, and 'Cave Canem'.
[signs off]
Michael Knight: Cave Canem? What happened to 'be careful'?
Karen: Well, that's what he said, in Latin. Literally translated it means 'beware of the dog'.


"Knight Rider: Ten Wheel Trouble (#3.19)" (1985)
Devon Miles: [the Flag semi is being used to haul cargo] By the way, what kind of produce is it?
Michael Knight: Onions.
Devon Miles: Onions? Really Michael, barring any accidents, the smell could last for months.
Michael Knight: Well, if you whistle or you put a pin in your mouth, I won't have to watch a grown man cry.

Michael Knight: You might say that Bonnie is K.I.T.T.'s mother. She takes care of him with all the maternal love and the ferocity of a tigress.
Bonnie Barstow: [laughs awkwardly] Michael's kidding. Eh, K.I.T.T. is his, I just put him back together again.
Devon Miles: And Michael gives her a great many opportunities to do so.

Michael Knight: [Michael and K.I.T.T. are stuck in a traffic jam] How did you let me get into this, anyway?
K.I.T.T.: Sorry, but you were driving.
Michael Knight: I know, I know, but why is this happening to me?
K.I.T.T.: I know, I know, but why is this happening to me?


"Knight Rider: Fright Knight (#4.20)" (1986)
Devon Miles: [on videophone] Hello Michael, how are things in Hollywood this morning?
Michael Knight: A little rocky. Hitchcock would've loved it... we've got a saboteur on our hands.
Devon Miles: Well I'm glad you didn't say psycho.
Michael Knight: Maybe that too.

Michael Knight: What's with the darkened windows, pal?
K.I.T.T.: This is Hollywood, Michael. I'm wearing my sunglasses.

Michael Knight: [via video phone] Bonnie, put RC on will ya, I need him out here on this one.
Bonnie Barstow: Oh RC, what about me, Michael you know how much I love Westerns.
Michael Knight: [impersonating John Wayne] Well, I know, pilgrim. Maybe I can get you one of those gutsy Maureen O'Hara roles.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: You know Michael, you do a great Jimmy Stewart.
K.I.T.T.: Very funny.


"Knight Rider: The Wrong Crowd (#4.6)" (1985)
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: [driving the FLAG rig] I dropped Bonnie and Devon off at the stroke of nine. Now I'm sure they're eagerly awaiting your tardy arrival...
K.I.T.T.: He's gloating, Michael. Did he expect me to turbo boost over ten miles of bumper to bumper traffic? I mean sustained flight has never been my strength.
Michael Knight: Don't let him ruffle your breaking fins, pal.

Michael Knight: [while fighting Hollander] I told you: the lady isn't on the menu!

Michael Knight: [K.I.T.T. has saved Michael from being blown to pieces] Thanks a lot, pal, thanks a lot. If it wasn't for you, sustained flight would hardly describe what I'd be doing right about now.


"Knight Rider: Knight Racer (#4.9)" (1985)
K.I.T.T.: If I keep feeling that beat, I won't just loosen up, I'll fall apart.
Michael Knight: No way, you're uni-welded. You can take it.
K.I.T.T.: But I don't want it.

Michael Knight: Going through life with your foot to the floor, you blow right past the stuff that counts.

K.I.T.T.: [indicating a private yacht] Very seaworthy, Michael.
Michael Knight: [referring to a bikini clad blond] Hmm, good on land too!
K.I.T.T.: The boat, Michael.


"Knight Rider: Knight Sting (#4.7)" (1985)
Michael Knight: There's no way K.I.T.T. and I handle do this alone. All of us are going into the field.

K.I.T.T.: [conversing via comlink] Are you alright, Michael?
Michael Knight: Yeah, if you consider being locked in a six by six filthy room alright, I'm doing great.

Michael Knight: [to K.I.T.T] You've just been slimed!


"Knight Rider: Silent Knight (#2.12)" (1983)
K.I.T.T.: The frequency of the oil spots seem to be growing rather than diminishing, Michael.
Michael Knight: Just keep your nose to the black top, buddy.
K.I.T.T.: And to think that some poor animals are forced to do this for a living.

April Curtis: [on viewscreen] Michael, just what are you up to?
Michael Knight: Nothing. Well, not much, at least. I ran into a gypsy kid who was a witness to a robbery. He and his sister...
April Curtis: His sister? Yeah, I should have known.
Michael Knight: April, it's not like it sounds.
April Curtis: Michael, now you know how seriously Devon takes the annual Christmas banquet. Now he's seated you between Lady Pinwall and the dutches s of Chipstead. So please remember, he's counting on you.
April Curtis: Oh, I'll be there, sure as St. Nick.
Michael Knight: For your sake I hope you are, St. Nick.

Michael Knight: I love Christmas. The lights, trees, music, the whole spiritual season makes me feel great.
K.I.T.T.: It confuses me. What could a portly man in a red suit positively have to do with the birth of a religious leader?
Michael Knight: Kitt, Christmas is a time for giving and a time for love and Santa is the greatest giver of them all. Speaking of giving, I'm a bit perplexed about what to get you. Being a car, it is rather difficult to know what's appropriate.
K.I.T.T.: Anything but pajamas, cheap cologne, ties and argyle socks. Especially argyle socks.


"Knight Rider: Sky Knight (#4.4)" (1985)
Michael Knight: Bonnie, flying is safer than driving a car.
[into his comlink]
Michael Knight: Tell her, K.I.T.T.
K.I.T.T.: It may be safer than traveling by automobile, Michael, but there is no doubt that air travel is one of the most unnatural modes of transportation ever devised by the mind of man.
Michael Knight: Oh, thanks a lot, you've really helped.
Bonnie Barstow: It's not K.I.T.T.'s fault, Michael, he was programmed to be afraid of flying.
Michael Knight: Aha, but you were the programmer.

K.I.T.T.: Michael, you wouldn't! You know I'm terrified of flying.
Michael Knight: Sorry pal, but there's no choice.
[drives up the ramp of a moving plane]

Michael Knight: What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
Bonnie Barstow: I was just about to ask you the same thing.


"Knight Rider: Knight in Disgrace (#3.8)" (1984)
Michael Knight: [pointing a gun at Devon] Save the moral indignation, I've had enough to last a lifetime.

Michael Knight: Well, I'd like to trust YOU, too, Linda, but I find it difficult after you put that drug in my drink last night.
Linda: [meekly] Boyd told me to do that.
Michael Knight: [in a contemptuous tone of reproachful disgust] Oh, I see - - and you always just do what Boyd tells you to, like a good little girl?

Michael Knight: [LaSalle has just said he will off Linda and Mary Beth if Michael tries to double-cross him] Well, hey, she's your girlfriend, not mine - - why should I care what happens to her?
Boyd LaSalle: [in a smug, "I'm wiser than that" tone] Somehow, I don't think you mean that, Michael, which is why I assume you'll make sure nothing goes wrong with the delivery - - nothing at all.


"Knight Rider: Custom K.I.T.T. (#2.8)" (1983)
Michael Knight: Devon sure looked great in that blazer, didn't he?
K.I.T.T.: I had the distinct impression he was trying to impress the car.
Michael Knight: Can you blame him? The Pennington Ascot Regency is a classic.
Michael Knight: [Kitt is silent] Not that you aren't in its class.
Michael Knight: [still no reply] Actually, Kitt, you are in a class all by yourself. You're one of a kind.
K.I.T.T.: Thank you.

Michael Knight: Can you tell me who runs the show?
Carrie Haver: Sure, eh, Susan Weston. She's over there. Look for the tight pants.


"Knight Rider: Deadly Knightshade (#4.15)" (1986)
Ariel Marsden: Like all those who've sold their souls to the devil, Austin Templeton must be left to destroy himself.
Michael Knight: You really believe that?
Ariel Marsden: What I believe isn't important. Austin believes he's a true sorcerer. And if you're going to catch him, Mr. Knight, you'll have to catch him in the act, so to speak.

Michael Knight: [after rescuing Devon from drowning in a tank] You ok?
Devon Miles: Right as rain, my dear fellow.
[looks down]
Devon Miles: Oh blast, Ive ruined my suit.


"Knight Rider: Knight Flight to Freedom (#4.19)" (1986)
K.I.T.T.: [driving through a river of lava at 600 degrees] Michael, my molecular bonded shell can't withstand the extreme heat of this lava much longer.
Michael Knight: Hang in there, buddy, hang in there.

Michael Knight: [talking into his newly recovered comlink] K.I.T.T.? You tuned in out there, pal?
K.I.T.T.: Michael? Michael, of course I am. I've been monitoring your channel round the clock. Where are you?
Michael Knight: With RC. We're out of jail but we're still in prison, so to speak.


"Knight Rider: Ring of Fire (#2.10)" (1983)
Michael Knight: Kitt, can you give me a visual, or a location?
KITT: I'll most certainly try.
Layla Charon Callan: Mon Dieu!
Michael Knight: It's ok, it's a computer. Very complicated.

Layla Charon Callan: The shack! The poachers shack, I know this place!
Michael Knight: The Lacroix know about this place too?
Layla Charon Callan: Everybody know. My father build it. Then the poachers take it away. Now they use it for their dynamite, their food.
Michael Knight: Then you know a way out of here?
Layla Charon Callan: I'm like your car, Michael, I can make good guess...


"Knight Rider: Knight Song (#4.11)" (1985)
Charley Connors: You must, eh... be about 6'4", 6'5"?
Michael Knight: Yeah, I'm about that. How'd you know that?
Charley Connors: Cause I had to reach up so high to take hold of your arm. That's why, you know, they don't use giraffes for seeing eye dogs.
Michael Knight: Oh, that's why?

Bonnie Barstow: [Josh, Michael and RC have all been beaten up] This looks like the graduating class of the Tex Cobb school of boxing.
'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Not funny.
Josh Bevin: I don't know, I give it about a five and a half.
Michael Knight: I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting sick and tired of being a victim.


"Knight Rider: Knight Rider (#1.0)" (2008)
Mike Traceur: Michael? Will I ever see you again?
Michael Knight: I hope so.

Michael Knight: About 25 years ago, there was a man named Wilton Knight who on his deathbed told me "One man can make a difference." I was that man.


"Knight Rider: Knight & Knerd (#3.18)" (1985)
K.I.T.T.: His name is Fuji Hakito. Given he's a Takishi, might I suggest caution?
Michael Knight: [gets out] My middle name, partner, my middle name. Sayonara.


"Robot Chicken: Gold Dust Gasoline (#1.3)" (2005)
Fez: [phone rings] Kelso!
Michael Kelso: Fez! I just took your picture with my phone! I just sent it to you!
Fez: [checks phone] Oooh... what a sexy photo! It really captures my metrosexuality!
Steven Hyde: Okay... who just text messaged me saying I'm a douche bag?
Michael Kelso: *Burn!*