Jeff Greene
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Quotes for
Jeff Greene (Character)
from "Curb Your Enthusiasm" (2000)

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Larry David: Curb Your Enthusiasm (1999) (TV)
Larry: I have a tendency to nod to black people.
Jeff Greene: Wait... what reason would you have to...
Larry: I don't know, I don't know! I just find that I nod to them. More so than white... I never nod to white people.
Jeff Greene: I've never heard of, uh, "white liberal nodding guilt."
Larry: Yeah. It's a way of kind of making contact. You know, like "I'm okay. I'm not one of the bad ones."

[repeated line]
Jeff Greene: HBO pays for the porn.

"Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Doll (#2.7)" (2001)
Susie Greene: [after discovering that Larry and Jeff stole the head from her daughter's doll] You four eyed fuck and you fat piece of shit! Get the head!
Jeff Greene: [later] Boy I did not need that.

Jeff Greene: Hey, do you want to have dinner tomorrow before the show?
Larry David: Oh I don't know...
Cheryl: We've got plans.
Larry David: We don't have plans we just don't want to have dinner with you.
Cheryl: [exasperated] Larry....

"Curb Your Enthusiasm: Opening Night (#4.10)" (2004)
[after Larry turned down sex from Cady Huffman because she had a Bush picture in her dressing room]
Jeff Greene: What the fuck were you thinking! A picture of Bush, who gives a flying fuck? I'd fuck her with a Bush mask on!

"Curb Your Enthusiasm: Krazee-Eyez Killa (#3.8)" (2002)
Jeff Greene: [after Larry said he didn't want to take a tour of Suzie and Jeff's new house] I don't want to make a big deal out of this. I am just going to mention it and that's it... It wouldn't have killed you to have taken the house tour.
Larry: I feel very queer taking house tours.
Jeff Greene: What queer? My wife shows you the house...
Larry: I gotta march up and down the house going,
[in a gay voice]
Larry: "Oh it's nice, it's nice..."
Jeff Greene: Did you have to go somewhere?
Larry: No.
Jeff Greene: Alright, you know what then...
Larry: [in the gay voice again] "Oh, that looks good. Hey look at that closet! Oh ho hey, very nice beams up there. I like those beams, yeah. What's the name of that architect?"
Jeff Greene: [sighs]
Larry: [takes a sip of coffee] Good coffee.

"Curb Your Enthusiasm: Mary, Joseph and Larry (#3.9)" (2002)
Larry David: I think I tipped that guy twice.
Jeff Greene: What? Why wouldn't he tell you?
Larry David: Because he got twice the money.
Larry David: Why?

"Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Shrimp Incident (#2.4)" (2001)
Jeff Greene: [In a meeting with NBC execs, the President asks Larry sarcastically how his "step-father" is feeling. Larry becomes offended and walks out of the meeting. Jeff and Julia Louis-Dreyfus soon follow, catching up with Larry near the elevator] Larry, what was that? Why did you walk out?
Larry: He implied that I was lying about my step-father being sick.
Jeff Greene: But you don't have a step-father.
Larry: I know, but I didn't like the implication.

"Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Korean Bookie (#5.9)" (2005)
Jeff Greene: What's with the hat?
Larry: What? I'm married. I can wear whatever I want.