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: You want us to study? Shoop
: The thought did cross my mind. Denise
: Well, what's in it for us? What do we get out of it? Shoop
: So, you're all alone and you like young girls.
: Can anybody tell me why writing is important? Pam
: Because it's a form of communication. Shoop
: Very good, it can also get you free stuff. Kids
: Free? Shoop
: Free, I'm writing it down... here's how it works, we've all been ripped off, right? Pay phone steals your money... not enough cheese on your pizza... Chainsaw
: My shades keep falling apart! Shoop
: That's a perfect example. Now you're going to write that company a letter and you're going to see action, but only if the letter is well written and it threatens to hurt their business, and it's signed, excuse me Chainsaw, Francis Gremp, President: Consumer Against Faulty Eyewear. Chainsaw
: You want me to lie? Okay.
: [Chainsaw pours a large fish tank on the couch to put out a fire
] My fish! Pam
: How many were there? Shoop
: Just one.
: Denise: no previous test score because you ditched every test, but a 38. Mrs. Green
: Honey, that's terrific! Denise
: We'll get 'em next time. Shoop
: Kevin, from a 48 to a 75! Kevin Winchester
: Yeah, I'm back on the team!
[Kevin and his did share football shouts and hug
: Chainsaw: last score was a 6, this time: 59. Monster comeback! And Dave: from a 26 to a 70. Dave
: I passed! Anna-Maria Mazarelli
: You made it! Chainsaw
: You passed? You passed and I failed, asshole! How could you do that to me? Dave
: It was an accident. I'll take it again, I can fail, I know it. Shoop
: Pam went from a 53 to an 82. Pam
: Was that the highest? Shoop
: Well, almost. That guy who spent six weeks in the bathroom got a 91. But look, there's more going on here than test scores and grades. You all worked hard and improved. Phil Gills
: And that's very nice, Mr. Shoop. The point here is that we are here to discuss Mr. Shoop's flagrant violation of school policies. Principal Kelban
: Hold it, Gills. According to my numbers, the average scores have increased from 28 to 63. That's 125% improvement. Now that's teaching. Mr. Shoop, I'm granting you tenure.