Otis Campbell
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Quotes for
Otis Campbell (Character)
from "The Andy Griffith Show" (1960)

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"The Andy Griffith Show: Deputy Otis (#2.31)" (1962)
[Otis receives a letter at the courthouse]
Otis Campbell: Would you mind readin' it fer me, Andy? I ain't got my glasses.
Barney Fife: Can't you read without 'em?
Otis Campbell: Only labels.

Otis Campbell: See, I've always been the black sheep of my family, and it just felt good changin' colors.

Otis Campbell: Gosh, I been comin' in here a long time, Andy, but I never figured there was chance for advancement.

Ralph Campbell: Well, whadda you do mostly, Otis
Andy Taylor: Oh, uh, we... we all have our, uh, little jobs on the force. Uh, Otis' specialty is trackin' down stills.
Ralph Campbell: Stills?
Andy Taylor: Yeah, yeah. The minute, the minute anyone starts makin' moonshine around this area, Otis sniffs 'em right out. And then you know what he does? He goes right down there where they're makin' the stuff and brings it all back right by hisself, don't ya, Otis?
Otis Campbell: Well, yeah. I did that just last night, didn't I?

"The Andy Griffith Show: Aunt Bee the Warden (#2.23)" (1962)
Otis Campbell: It will be my pleasure, dear lady, to be incarcerated in your domicile.

Aunt Bee Taylor: What was that you said about being a prisoner?
Otis Campbell: Oh, I said I'm a prisoner in this house and I expect to be treated like one.
Aunt Bee Taylor: Well, if you're a prisoner, I'm responsible for you, and that makes me the warden.
Otis Campbell: Oh, Aunt Bee, don't holler so much, please. I got a head that feels like it was in a drawer all night. Now, will you go away?
Aunt Bee Taylor: [dumps a vase of water over his head] Get up, prisoner, and get to work!
Otis Campbell: Work?
Aunt Bee Taylor: That's right, and you can start with your room! Clean it up!
Otis Campbell: Clean? OH! Andy! Where's Andy? I'm a prisoner!

Otis Campbell: Andy, you GOTTA get me outta this. She's about to work me to death.
Andy Taylor: Aunt Bee?
Otis Campbell: Aunt Bee? Bloody Mary.

Otis Campbell: Andy, can we go now? I don't ever wanna see The Rock again.

"The Andy Griffith Show: A Plaque for Mayberry (#1.25)" (1961)
Barney Fife: Now, I'm gonna test your reactions and your reflexes.
Otis Campbell: This jail's gettin' to be as bad as home.

Otis Campbell: You know, Andy, I've given that woman some awful bad times, but wait till you see her at that presentation. She's go'n be as proud as a peacock.

Otis Campbell: I've been thinkin' about the big, long speech I can make here, then I got to studying about how that was all wrong. See, I don't deserve this award. I didn't do nothin'. Bein' descended from a hero don't make YOU one. Shucks, a man can't take credit just for being born; so, I want to give this to Mayor Pike to accept for the town of Mayberry, of which I am proud to be its citizen.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Alcohol and Old Lace (#1.17)" (1961)
Otis Campbell: Don't forget to wake me up Monday. That's the beginning of National Potato Week and I wanna celebrate.

Andy Taylor: Well, now, Barney, I doubt that Otis is goin' to do any talkin'. He seems mighty set on not helpin' us.
Otis Campbell: I wished I could, Andy, but it's a matter of ethics. Us town drunks have a code we live by.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Otis the Artist (#6.16)" (1966)
Otis Campbell: [speaking of a mosaic he created] I find I do my best work when I'm just a little gassed.
Deputy Warren Ferguson: Oh, Otis.
Otis Campbell: Oh, don't act so sad. Now I've got two hobbies.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Wedding Bells for Aunt Bee (#2.26)" (1962)
Andy Taylor: I know it's Friday, Otis, but ain't you a little early?
Otis Campbell: Oh, I'm dead sober, Andy, but I s'pect I'll get over it.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Bringing Up Opie (#1.32)" (1961)
Andy Taylor: Now, the fine is two dollars or twenty-four hours. Now, what'll it be?
Otis Campbell: Andy, you know I always take the twenty-four hours. I wouldn't waste two dollars on somethin' that didn't have a cork in it.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Ellie for Council (#1.10)" (1960)
Otis Campbell: No. No-no. No, Andy. Don't never apologize to a woman. I say, if you got an argument with a woman, stand up and fight it out.
Andy Taylor: Well, fightin' it out's what put you behind them bars, Otis.
Otis Campbell: But she threw a dish at me.
Andy Taylor: Well, you swung a leg of lamb at HER.
Otis Campbell: But I missed her.
Andy Taylor: Yeah, but cha hit her mother.
Otis Campbell: [in fond remembrance] Yeah. Right in the mouth.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Andy Saves Barney's Morale (#1.20)" (1961)
Otis Campbell: Drunk or sober, I can't tell very much without my glasses.
Andy Taylor: Well, were you drunk when Deputy Fife arrested you?
Otis Campbell: I can't tell. I wasn't wearin' my glasses.