Goober Pyle
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Quotes for
Goober Pyle (Character)
from "The Andy Griffith Show" (1960)

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"The Andy Griffith Show: Goober Takes a Car Apart (#5.17)" (1965)
[repeated line]
Goober Pyle: You wouldn't believe how he abuses this car. Speed, speed, speed's all he ever thinks about.

Goober Pyle: [Climactic eruption] Gilly, you can't drive a car fast all the time - you gotta take her slow every now and then!

Sheriff Andy Taylor: [menacingly backing Goober up against the gun case] Now Goober, I'm gonna run on home, because if I don't, I'm liable to start hollerin'. And when I'm done hollerin', I'm liable to take down one of these guns and shoot you, you understand?
Goober Pyle: [Terrified] Yo!

"The Andy Griffith Show: Sam for Town Council (#8.27)" (1968)
Howard Sprague: Job like that the world's your oyster.
Goober Pyle: What?
Howard Sprague: Just an expression, Goob.
Goober Pyle: Boy, they're sure comin' up with some crazy ones.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Goober Goes to an Auto Show (#8.22)" (1968)
Goober Pyle: Hey, Andy
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Hi, Goob
Goober Pyle: I got Aunt Bee's car in tip-top shape.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Oh, good.
Goober Pyle: What are you doin' with a Raleigh paper?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Readin' it.
Goober Pyle: Andy, that's yesterday's paper.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: I know it.
Goober Pyle: You know that's not as stupid as it looks, readin' a day-old paper. I do it myself sometimes - kinda gives you a sense of power, don't it? I mean knowing how everything's gonna come out.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: I'm-I'm looking for the announcement of the auto show in Raleigh; it opened yesterday.
Goober Pyle: Well, you want to know where it's at? It's at the convention hall all weekend. Who's going to the auto show, Andy?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, Aunt Bee wants to see the new models; she's thinking of trading in her old car.
Goober Pyle: That's a good thing - that car is on its last leg.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: You said it was in tip-top shape.
Goober Pyle: That's before I knew she was going to trade it in.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: She's just thinking of trading it in; she might keep it.
Goober Pyle: Well, it's still got plenty of miles on it.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Anybody ever tell you you're a straw in the wind?
Goober Pyle: No. A feller in the service called me a hayseed though. I let him have it.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Emmett's Brother-in-Law (#8.18)" (1968)
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Aww, Emmett does all right.
Goober Pyle: Yeah, but he don't drive a big car like that.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, they're nice to have, but they're not everything. Emmett's got a good life. He's got good friends and a nice wife. Those things are important.
Goober Pyle: Well, they got to be if you ain't got a big car.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Howard and Millie (#8.12)" (1967)
Sheriff Andy Taylor: That just proves that opposites attract.
Goober Pyle: Attract what?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Each other.
Goober Pyle: Oh! Well, when I get married, I'm gonna marry exactly the same kinda woman I am. That ain't gonna be easy to find, ya know.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Andy and Helen Have Their Day (#5.13)" (1964)
[Andy and Helen have just explained to Goober that William Holden, not Cary Grant, was in "Picnic"]
Goober Pyle: I can't do William Holden. He talks like everybody else.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Goober's Replacement (#6.28)" (1966)
Goober Pyle: I know! But a employee aught to have a vacation every now and then. To fish and rest. I don't wanna burn myself out. I 'member my daddy tellin' me a person's only got one body, and he was right, too.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Aunt Bee on TV (#6.10)" (1965)
Goober Pyle: Did you know she's been walkin' all over town wearin' it?
Floyd Lawson: Yeah. It's mink!
Goober Pyle: Yeah, she told me. They're vicious little animals, ya know.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Opie's Group (#8.9)" (1967)
Goober Pyle: Are you sayin' I don't like music?
Emmett Clark: I didn't say that.
Goober Pyle: Well, you better not.
Emmett Clark: You may like music as much as I do.
Goober Pyle: Watch your step.
Emmett Clark: Oh, yeah? Did you ever hear the Raleigh Philharmonic?
Goober Pyle: I been busy.