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: Howdy. I am, uh... I'm Pete Johnson. Ellie Walker
: I'm Ellie Walker. I'm pleased to meet you. Pete Johnson
: I know.
: You a desperate hunter, Miss Ellie? Ellie Walker
: Not really. Opie Taylor
: 'Cause I know where you can get yourself a possum.
: How dare you think I'd wanna marry you? Who do you think you are? Just because I accepted what I thought was a friendly, neighborly invitation... And for your information, Mr. Sheriff, I've given dozens of children free ice cream cones - even if they weren't the children of such gorgeous, charming, desirable catches as yourself! Well, let me tell you something, you big, brave hero - I wouldn't go to the dance with you if you were the last man on Earth, let alone marry you! Nor do I need your generous help in getting an escort. And just to prove it to you, I'm going to go with the first single, unattached man who comes through that door! Deputy Barney Fife
] Hi. Ellie Walker
: YOU! Deputy Barney Fife
: Me? Ellie Walker
: Yes. Are you taking anyone to the church dance Saturday? Deputy Barney Fife
: No. Ellie Walker
: In that case, I accept your invitation! Thank You!
[Ellie storms off
] Deputy Barney Fife
: [to Andy
] I just come in here for some foot powder.
: Okay, Barney, what'll it be. Barney Fife
: Does it have to... BE anything? Ellie Walker
: Well, no. No, you can sit down if you like. I just have this prescription to finish. Barney Fife
: You know the light in here does crazy things to your hair. Ellie Walker
: What? Barney Fife
: Oh, why pretend? I LIKE you, Ellie. You're my kind o' woman. Ellie Walker
: What? Barney Fife
: Let's not try to fight it... baby. Ellie Walker
: Barney Fife, have you been drinking? Barney Fife
: Oh, baby... Ellie Walker
: [slaps his hand
] Oh, now stop. I haven't time for this nonsense. Now-now, stop acting like a juvenile. Barney Fife
: I feel sorry for you, baby. You-you had your chance to fly with me but you wasn't woman enough. Now the balloon's gone up without cha.
: Supposing I do make the rabbit run. Maybe you could work the same trick on YOUR little bunny.
: Ah... folks, uh, in order to judge a beauty contest I-I think it's good to know what beauty really is. Now, they-they's outside beauty - I guess we can all see that, aheh - and then they's inside beauty. Henrietta Swanson
: Sheriff, are you gonna name the winner or not? Andy Taylor
: I-I'm goin' to, ma'am. I'm goin' to right now. Miss, uh, Bishop, would you bring up the robe please? Thank ya. Wait, wait, Miss Bishop, wait. Folks, to present to you the most logical choice, most obvious choice and in fact the only choice, I present to you her royal highness, Miss Mayberry... Miss Erma Bishop. For doin' such a beautiful job with this here pageant and just behavin' beautifully through the whole thing, I crown thee, Miss Mayberry.
[contestant losers all burst out crying, save one...
] Ellie Walker
: Andy, it WAS the best choice. Andy Taylor
: Well, maybe I better see if I can stop this cryin' jag.