Gomer Pyle
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Quotes for
Gomer Pyle (Character)
from "Gomer Pyle: USMC" (1964)

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"Gomer Pyle: USMC: Gomer Learns a Bully (#1.5)" (1964)
Pvt. Gomer Pyle: [while raking] See-saw Majorie Dawl, Jack shall have a new Master. He shall make but a penny a day, because he can't work any faster

Sgt. Vince Carter: I don't get it Pyle, how come you can knock that Phillips flat yet you can't handle that little Lombardi guy?
Pvt. Gomer Pyle: Well sir, you see the big feller needed a lesson, the little feller didn't

"The Andy Griffith Show: The Great Filling Station Robbery (#3.22)" (1963)
Deputy Barney Fife: Gentlemen, I give you science in action, proof positive! The camera does not lie - THERE is your criminal!
[Slams picture from security camera on desk, only to discover it's a picture he accidentally shot of himself setting up the device]
Deputy Barney Fife: [Aghast] It's ME!
Gomer Pyle: Hey, you take a purty good picture, Barn! Me, I never do.

Barney Fife: Gentlemen, I give you science in action. Proof-positive, the camera does not lie; it sees all, tells all. There is your criminal.
[lays down photograph; Andy and Gomer look at the photo, and then at Barney, who then looks at the photo]
Barney Fife: Well, that's me!
Gomer Pyle: You take a real good picture, Barney. Me, I never do.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Barney and Thelma Lou, Phfftt (#4.30)" (1964)
Gomer Pyle: [Barney is upset with Gomer and walks out, refusing to speak to him] What's the matter with Barney?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well Gomer, Barney's been bitten by the green eyed monster.
Gomer Pyle: He has? Well they got some stuff down at the drugstore that'll keep 'em off of you. One fell on me just yesterday!

"The Lucy Show: Lucy Gets Caught Up in the Draft (#5.9)" (1966)
[last lines]
Lucy Carmichael: What did you say?
Pvt. Gomer Pyle: I said, I'm this here Carmichael's replacement.
Lucy Carmichael: [to Marine Sergeant] Good luck. buddy.

"The Andy Griffith Show: Citizen's Arrest (#4.11)" (1963)
Deputy Barney Fife: Gomer, I have to uphold the law, no matter what! It's only what any responsible person should do. Why, even if I weren't a policeman, I would still arrest you for making a illegal U-turn... any person can do that, you know... it's called a citizen's arrest.
Gomer Pyle: [seeing Barney make a U-turn with his squad car as he drives away] Hey! HEEEYYYY - - BARNEY! You made an illegal u-turn YOURSELF! You're breakin' the law, and so I, as a responsible person, need to arrest you! Citizen's arrest! Citizen's arrest!

"Gomer Pyle: USMC: They Shall Not Pass (#1.11)" (1964)
Gomer Pyle: Quallerbattoo!

"The Andy Griffith Show: Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. (#4.32)" (1964)
Sheriff Andy Taylor: What's wrong?
Gomer Pyle: Nothing. Why do you ask?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, Gomer, whenever I see a man settin' by hisself in a Quonset hut with a bucket on his head, I've got to ask, "What's wrong?"