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Quotes for
Doug Holt (Character)
from Inventing the Abbotts (1997)

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Inventing the Abbotts (1997)
Doug Holt: My brother and I were born strangers. Same last name, same address, but everything else about us was different. Back then, Jacey was a complete mystery to me, and I was a constant source of embarassment to him.

Doug Holt: [sarcastically] Every time an Abbott girl gets her period they throw some kind of party!

Pamela Abbott: Stop treating me like an Abbott!
Doug Holt: How the hell am I supposed to treat you?
Pamela Abbott: Like you used to; like just plain Pam. And you don't have to say you're sorry! Don't look at me as though someone just ran over your dog! It makes me want to scream sometimes.

Doug Holt: Either you're mad at me because you're mad at me or you're mad at me because you like me, because that's how girls act. I mean... I don't know much but I know that. So, uh, which is it?
Pamela Abbott: Both.

Doug Holt: Backyard nudity is hypocritical. It's insincere. People should do and say exactly what they feel and think and not try to hide things.

Pamela Abbott: Look, I'm not rich, my father is. And I didn't pick my father. And if I had a choice between having tons of money or having another father, I'd be absolutely delighted to be poor. But unfortunately, life is just not a cafeteria.
Doug Holt: Life is not a cafeteria?
Pamela Abbott: You know what I mean.

Doug Holt: You always loved me no matter what I did, right?
Pamela Abbott: Yeah.
Doug Holt: Maybe that's how I love you. No matter what. It's the best kind of love, you know?

Doug Holt: Hey, Jacey... Remember that time I got my dick caught in my zipper? Remember in school, in the first grade?

Pamela Abbott: So who do you look more like, your mother or your father?
Doug Holt: Oh, I don't know.
Pamela Abbott: What did your father look like?
Doug Holt: Like a photograph.

Doug Holt: Why's it okay for you to sneak around with me, but it's not alright for Alice to sneak around with Jacey?
Pamela Abbott: Because it's different. I'm not Alice and you're not Jacey. Alice is like my mother, they get hurt so easy. They're like turtles without shells.

Doug Holt: I'm not like you, Jacey. I don't want to be.
Jacey: I'm sorry.
Doug Holt: Yeah, you are.

[last lines]
Doug Holt: A year later, the impossible finally happened. One of the Holt boys married one of the Abbott girls. We had two daughters. Named the youngest Helen, after my mom.