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: You shouldn't grab me, Johnny. My mother grabbed me once... ONCE!
: [scoffs at Johnny's interest in Lil
] Dames are put on this earth to weaken us. Drain our energy. Laugh at us when they see us naked.
: I got something to stop him.
[draws a gun with an unusually long barrel
: They made it for him special. It's an .88 Magnum. Danny Vermin
: It shoots through schools.
: [points to a parking space
] Park there. Dutch
] It's for the handicapped. Danny Vermin
: I AM handicapped. I'm psychotic.
[puts a sign in the front window
: [to Mrs. Kelly
] You shouldn't kick me in the balls, lady. My sister kicked me in the balls once...
[Stumbles in pain
: I enjoy collecting protection money, putting whores to work, loan-sharking. I enjoy planting bombs in people's cars. These are a few of my favorite things. Johnny Dangerously
: You know, Danny, I think you get too much sugar in your diet.
: You shouldn't hang me on a hook, Johnny. My father hung me on a hook once. Once!
[Leaving a crime scene with his sidekick, Dutch
] Danny Vermin
: Hey, doll, how'd you like to make some money? Mary-Margaret Catharine Dineen
: One at a time, or both of you together?
: I've been fulfilling a lot of people's prophecies about me; I've become a real scumbag.
: This goes through armor. And through the victim, through the wall, through a tree outside...
: You shouldn't have shot me, Johnny. My grandmother shot me once...
: Alright here it is. Johnny Dangerously is going legit. Member of Dundee's gang
: Le-what? Johnny Dangerously
: Legit. Charley
: Le-why? Danny Vermin
: I'll tell you le-why. Because Johnny Dangerously is really Johnny Kelly, brother of the D.A., Tommy Kelly.