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: The Lower East Side. This really sucks.
: Bless the saints, it's an ashtray! I've been thinking of taking up smoking. This clinches it!
: I know what you can't say. You wanna get laid. Tommy Kelly
: Mom! Ma Kelly
: You wanna hump your brains out. Tommy Kelly
: [Tommy clamps his hands over Sally's ears
] Ma Kelly
: [does mock pushups
] Baboom, baboom, baboom, baboom! Tommy Kelly
: [Tommy drags Sally from the room
: You've gotten to be like a daughter to me and I wanna share somethin' with ya. Lil
: Awww, what's that Mom Kelley? Ma Kelly
: I go both ways. Lil
: I love him, but someday I'm gonna knock him on his ass.
[Ma Kelly is pouring drinks for everybody
] Tommy Kelly
: Mom, it's prohibition! Ma Kelly
: Oh, shut up! Stop acting like some fag choir boy!
: With a father like "Killer" Kelly, it's a wonder neither of you turned out to be a piece 'o shit criminal!
[Johnny sees a steaming pot on the stove
] Johnny Dangerously
: Whatcha cookin' here ma? Ma Kelly
: Beer. Johnny Dangerously
: With noodles! Great idea!
: [Ma Kelly pours a shot for Tommy
] Mom, it's Prohibition. Ma Kelly
: Aw, shut up! Stop acting like a fag choir boy.
: Open up! It's Ma Kelly! Mary-Margaret Catharine Dineen
: [opens her door
] What do you want? Get out of here. Ma Kelly
: I got to talk to you. Mary-Margaret Catharine Dineen
: We don't have nothing to say to each other. Ma Kelly
: We got plenty to say to each other. We got a lot in common. Mary-Margaret Catharine Dineen
: Yeah, what? Ma Kelly
: We both scrub floors. We're both swell lookers. And neither one of us is Chinese.
: Ma, you got to take better care of yourself. I don't want you living like this. I don't want you doing other people's laundry. Ma Kelly
: What are you saying? Give up me career?