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: Hooolllddd it! Wait a minute! WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? Alice
: Nothing, Ralph. Carlos was just teaching us to do the mambo. Trixie
: Right, Ralph. Carlos was just teaching us to do the mambo. Ralph
: Ohhhhhhh, Carlos was teaching to do the mambo. Oh ho ho! That puts a different light on everything. For a minute there, when I walked in here, I didn't know what you were doin'. Now I know, Carlos was teaching you the mambo. That makes a world of difference! EVERYBODY OUT! OUT! Angelina Manicotti
: But, Mr. Kramden, it's fun! Ralph
: [pointing at her
] And YOU, at YOUR age, should be ASHAMED of yourself!
: Hello, Mrs. Kramden. It's nice of you to have us. My, what a beautiful place you have here! By the way - mambo, anyone? Trixie
: Not now, Ed.
: He's had me doing the mambo all morning! Ed Norton
: Pardon me, Mrs. Kramden. Is your spouse on the premises? Alice
: He's in the bedroom making the bed. Ed Norton
: Oh, what a gentlemanly thing to do! If you will allow me to take my leave, I will retire to the boudoir and join my bosom companion.
[He mambos out of the room
: [looking at a ring Norton has
] Hey, that's a very handsome ring. Who's it for? Ed Norton
: Jim McKeever. He gave me my start in the sewers. My first push, so to speak. We recently appointed him foreman, so I thought it'd be nice to give him a little something. Trixie Norton
: Ed was all for buying him a pair of suspenders, but I thought a ring would be more suitable for the occasion. Ed Norton
: Well, I happen to know that Jim McKeever has a weakness for red suspenders. Alice
: Oh, well, I think Trixie's right, Ed. A man would rather have a ring than suspenders. Ed Norton
: Not if his pants are always falling down.
: [Loudly from the Norton's apartment
] Shut up! Trixie Norton
: What did you say? Ed Norton
: You heard me, Trixie. Shut up! Trixie Norton
: Don't ever say 'shut up' to me! Ed Norton
: Put down that soup bowl, Trixie! Don't you throw that soup bowl!
[Loud smashing sound
] Ed Norton
: You could have taken the soup out first. Now you've got noodles all over the wall. Trixie Norton
: I won't miss you next time! Ed Norton
: Ha ha! I could do a little throwin' myself, you know.
] Trixie Norton
: Shut up, you miserable
] Trixie Norton
: ! Ralph Kramden
: [Storming out of the bed room
] I'll put a stop to this! I'll put a stop to this! Alice Kramden
: Now Ralph, stay out of this. It's none of your business. Ralph Kramden
: What do you mean it's none of my business? They're keeping me awake, aren't they? Alice Kramden
: They've stopped. Ralph Kramden
: This is a disgrace. This is a disgrace. People their age screaming and yelling at this hour of the night, keeping everybody up. And nobody else in this house is any better either. It's all gettin' terrible, every day worse, screamin', yellin', hollerin'. Alice Kramden
: Sure they're screaming yelling and hollering for you to shut up!
[Alice is planning the menu for Ralph's birthday party
: On second thought, I better make that coconut cake. Trixie
: Why? Ralph's crazy about chocolate cake. Alice
: That's just it. I bought him a new belt for his birthday, and I wanna make sure it fits the day after. Trixie
: Well, you can always exchange it for a larger size. Alice
: There is no larger size.
: Hi, how can I help you today? William Davis
: Yes, uh, Alice, I would like an egg-white omelette, and if I could get a clean glass of water. Alice Kramden
: Well, precious, we don't separate our eggs here and that's about as clean as it's gonna get. William Davis
: Well, what do you have that's similar to an egg-white omelette? Alice Kramden
: Eggs. William Davis
: Well then, by all means why don't you just bring me whatevers convenient for you. Trixie Norton
: Do I need to take of my heels? Alice Kramden
: No, no. Not yet. William Davis
: I've angered you, I'm sorry. It happens alot. Alice Kramden
: Oh, hi Miss Benvenuti. How are you? Miss Benvenuti
: I'm fine. Hi Trixie. William Davis
: Ah, Miss Benvenuti, what a pleasure. Please
[gestures for her to sit
] Miss Benvenuti
: If you'd just buy my house, that will be pleasure enough. Alice Kramden
: Oh, Miss Benvenuti, you're selling that cute little duplex over on Hart Street? Miss Benvenuti
: Yes, I can't take the winters anymore. Mr. Davis here and his company are thinking of buying the house. William Davis
: Yes, we are. So if you girls could just go and cook something... Trixie Norton
: Ignoring you! Alice Kramden
: Yeah, I wish we would've known because we've been looking to buy a duplex for years. William Davis
: Well, I'm sorry, but my company's already buying this one. Trixie Norton
: Yes, well, we're not a company or anything, but we would like a nice place to move into with our husbands, have a few little babies, a little Trixie. Alice Kramden
: But everything's so expensive nowadays! William Davis
: Yes, it is. Kinda wishing you hadn't dropped out of high school right about now, huh? Alice Kramden
: *Still* ignoring you! So Miss Benvenuti, how much are you asking for the duplex?
: Whoever said the Age of Chivalry is dead was right. I know the two guys that killed it. Oh, Alice, our campaign has been a complete flop. On the way to the bus they walked twenty feet ahead of us. And they only talked to each other. And if that isn't bad enough, on the bus there are just two empty seats. And who sits in those two empty seats? Alice