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Quotes for
Sandy Louise Harling (Character)
from "Melrose Place" (1992)

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"Melrose Place: Lonely Hearts (#1.8)" (1992)
Sandy Louise Harling: It's nice having someone to cook breakfast for.
Jake Hanson: It's nice having someone cook breakfast for you... occasionally.

Sandy Louise Harling: I was just stupidly hoping for a little compassion.
Jake Hanson: Well, I'm sorry. Wrong gender.

Sandy Louise Harling: [about Paul] Rhonda, I've kissed walls with more passion.

Sandy Louise Harling: You're waiting up for me?
Rhonda Blair: I'm hoping for a vicarious thrill.

[first lines]
Sandy Louise Harling: Hats make no sense. Really, what good is a hat in L.A.?
Rhonda Blair: Sandy, we're talking about the ultimate accessory here. Hats give a woman presence, the chance to make a statement. You got his attention. Mr. Tall, Dark and Cute, he's checking you out.

Jake Hanson: Hey, to some people, flirting just comes naturally.
Sandy Louise Harling: You know, Jake, you really piss me off sometimes.


"Melrose Place: For Love of Money (#1.4)" (1992)
Rhonda Blair: Shop talk about sunscreen isn't foreplay.
Sandy Louise Harling: Applying it is.

Allison Parker: Sandy is the actress, not me.
Sandy Louise Harling: [Rhonda snickers loudly] Shut up!

Sandy Louise Harling: [after Perry leaves] Bitch!

Sandy Louise Harling: Can I ask who's calling?
Perry Morgan: Who are you, his secretary?
Sandy Louise Harling: I'm a lot of things.


"Melrose Place: Pilot (#1.1)" (1992)
Sandy Louise Harling: [to Rhonda] Daytime is just a dress rehearsal. Anything - and I mean anything - worth knowin' happens at night.

Sandy Louise Harling: [to Jake and Kelly] What can I get you, a beer and a chocolate milk?

Sandy Louise Harling: Jake, I have just decided that if you're gonna date high school girls, I'm gonna date high school boys. Starting with this one.
[to Steve]
Sandy Louise Harling: You're cute.
Steve Sanders: Steve Sanders.
Sandy Louise Harling: Hi. Sandy. So, where you all from, anyway?
Jake Hanson: Beverly Hills.
Sandy Louise Harling: Oh, Beverly Hills. Handsome and rich.
[about Kelly]
Sandy Louise Harling: Is she from Beverly Hills too?
Steve Sanders: Yeah.
Sandy Louise Harling: Well, I do believe I'm beginning to get the picture.
Jake Hanson: Sandy's an actress. Don't believe anything she says.
Sandy Louise Harling: Shut up, Jake.
Steve Sanders: You know, my Mom's an actress. Samantha Sanders.
Sandy Louise Harling: Like the Samantha Sanders from Hartley House? Oh my God. Well, I would do just anything to meet her.
Steve Sanders: Let me give you my number, and maybe you can drop by this weekend.

Sandy Louise Harling: When it comes to women, you just don't think with your brain. I know that from first hand experience, remember? You probably don't.
Jake Hanson: Of course I do.


"Melrose Place: My Way (#1.7)" (1992)
Sandy: He was all over me like a cheap suit.

Sandy: I am an unbalanced personality, aren't I?
Rhonda Blair: Yes, you are. But we kind of balance each other out.

[first lines]
Sandy: [screams] My God, who are you? What do you want? Stay away, don't come near me. Please.
Director: Fine. That was... That was really, really great.

Sandy: First day of shooting and my stomach's just turning somersaults. How do I look?
Rhonda Blair: Like you're prime to be killed. Actually, I think you're gonna make a wonderful bloody corpse. After all, red's your best color, right?
Sandy: Yeah, well you've got a swelled head.
Rhonda Blair: I don't need this, right now. I'm shooting in an hour.
Sandy: Look at you. Man, you've changed. Just like that.
Rhonda Blair: I gotta find my purse.
Sandy: One funky little slasher movie and you throw your friends away like a wad of used toilet paper.


"Melrose Place: Second Chances (#1.6)" (1992)
Billy Campbell: She didn't say a word. She went right into her bedroom and collapsed. She was exhausted.
Sandy Louise Harling: Really?
Billy Campbell: Spent.
Sandy Louise Harling: I get the picture.

Allison Parker: [Allison leaves Jake's apartment] What's going on?
Sandy Louise Harling: Knock me over with a feather.

[last lines]
Sandy Louise Harling: I knew there couldn't be anything going on between you and Jake.
Allison Parker: Of course not... But he is a great kisser.

[first lines]
Jane Andrews Mancini: I want more blue.
Sandy Louise Harling: I'm out. No sense in throwin' good chips after bad.


"Melrose Place: Responsibly Yours (#1.9)" (1992)
Sandy Louise Harling: [referring to Jake] He was all over me like a cheap suit!

Jake Hanson: Well, you know what they say: "Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder".
Sandy Louise Harling: I think that's 'absence'.
Jake Hanson: Whatever.

Jane Andrews Mancini: [Sandy bangs hard on Jane's door. Jane opens it] Woah. Take it easy. You nearly took the door off. What's up?
Sandy Louise Harling: At least your door opens, which is more than I can say for my dress closet.


"Melrose Place: Lost & Found (#1.3)" (1992)
Jake Hanson: You know what they say, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
Sandy Louise Harling: That's absence.
Jake Hanson: Whatever.

Sandy Louise Harling: Who do you think you are, Mrs. Marcus Welby?
Jane Andrews Mancini: Marcus Welby was a widower.
Sandy Louise Harling: See? You might as well be dead!

[last lines]
Sandy Louise Harling: Good night, Jake.
Jake Hanson: Good night, Sandy.


"Melrose Place: Leap of Faith (#1.5)" (1992)
Sandy Louise Harling: [to Jane] Are you pregnant? The only reason why I ask is because I've had a couple of pregnant friends before. Just one whiff of fish, upchuck city. All over the place.
Rhonda Blair: Sandy! You know, you have the sensitivity of a doorknob.

Sandy Louise Harling: I hate fish.
Rhonda Blair: Yeah? Well, you're gonna shut up, and you're gonna eat it.


"Melrose Place: Burned (#1.10)" (1992)
Sandy Louise Harling: All right, Jake. Get pissed. 'Cause that's the way you handle everything anyway.

Sandy Louise Harling: Oh my God, I'm a waitress too, at the bar around the corner. I'm really an actress though.
Stella Rivers: I'm really a waitress.


"Melrose Place: Friends & Lovers (#1.2)" (1992)
Sandy Louise Harling: [to Jake] I've got way too much respect for myself to play anyone's second choice, including yours. Have a nice night.