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Quotes for
Steve Sanders (Character)
from "Beverly Hills, 90210" (1990)

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"Beverly Hills, 90210: A Fine Mess (#10.4)" (1999)
Steve Sanders: I want to marry her.
Noah Hunter: Then ask her.

Janet Sosna: I like neat. I like a neat desk. Neat drawers. I like charts and graphs and schedules. I like order. I thrive on order, and right now I don't have order. I have chaos, and I hate chaos. Chaos just freaks me out. It is messy. You are messy.
Steve Sanders: Ergo, I freak you out.
Janet Sosna: Completely!
Steve Sanders: Because I'm messy?
Janet Sosna: And unpredictable and unreliable, and I'm so completely in love with you, it terrifies me.

Steve Sanders: I got news for you, life isn't about charts or graphs it's about dealing with disorder and chaos. That's what life is about.

Steve Sanders: I don't want to know because I want it to be a surprise.

Steve Sanders: Hey, check this out.
Dylan McKay: Ooh, nice!
David Silver: Wow.
Steve Sanders: You don't think it's too much?
Dylan McKay: No.
Noah Hunter: It's great, considering it's been in your trunk all week.
David Silver: Dude, what are you waiting for?
Steve Sanders: Well, she turned me down once. Part of me thinks I should just leave it at that.
Dylan McKay: Nah, no way. Look, show... show us your proposal.
Steve Sanders: I don't think so.
David Silver: Yeah. Noah, be Janet.
Steve Sanders: What?
Noah Hunter: Without my lip gloss?
David Silver: Steve, come on.
Noah Hunter: I'll give it a shot. Come on. Come on!
Steve Sanders: [Steve gets down on one knee and takes Noah's hand] Janet, I know we've been through a lot, and I know you're worried about my commitment. But I think you're the most incredibly ugly, hairy-knuckled...
[All the guys laugh]
Steve Sanders: I'll never be able to fake this!
David Silver: That's not gonna work at all! You're horrible!
Dylan McKay: You're in there, Romeo!

Steve Sanders: Janet, I love you. Marry me.
Noah Hunter: Oh, that's right! Cheat on me!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Angels We Have Heard on High (#6.15)" (1995)
Rush Sanders: I always knew you were stupid, but I never thought you'd be so self-destructive!
Steve Sanders: Thanks for the support, as usual.
Rush Sanders: Oh, good sonny boy. Keep up that sarcasm on the unemployment line.
Steve Sanders: What does that mean?
Rush Sanders: It means you lost your job at ITM, and you embarrassed the hell out of me considering that I was the one that got you that job in the first place. Scott Coveny told me to tell you that you're finished there. He even told me to tell you not to even come back to clean out your office.
Steve Sanders: What are you talking about?
Rush Sanders: You messed up is what I'm talking about! You delivered the present that Scott was sending to his mistress to his niece. His wife's sister's kid got a leather bustier. His mistress got a Holly Home Maker oven! What the hell is wrong with you, you idiot? That note that was included in the bustier is gonna cost Scott a fortune now since his wife is going to sue him for divorce.
Steve Sanders: [incredulous] Dad... I just delivered the packages to the addresses on the labels as Scott told me to. I didn't write them. I didn't put the address labels on the wrong packages or vice versa. I didn't screw up. Somebody else did.
Rush Sanders: [scoffs] Somebody else screwed up? That's your MO, kiddo. Did you just make that up, or did you rehearse it by saying it in front of a mirror before saying it to me? Yeah... sure, you mess up and it's always somebody else's fault! You used that same excuse just last year for the bloody fire!
Steve Sanders: You know what? I don't need to take that crap from you. That's your MO. I didn't do anything wrong, and you never believe me. I got nothing further to explain to you, 'cause you just will not believe me.
Rush Sanders: Sometimes I'm ashamed to call a loser like you my son.
Steve Sanders: Then don't bother. You're not my father anyway!
Rush Sanders: Don't say that.
Steve Sanders: Why not? You're not my father! You've got nothing to be ashamed about, and neither do I!

Steve Sanders: [At the Peach Pit the next morning] What kind of mood is he in?
Nat Bussichio: Not good pal.
Steve Sanders: That makes two of us.
[Goes to join his father]

Steve Sanders: [At the park talking with Steve] It went great!
David Silver: So you in the will again?
Steve Sanders: Very funny Silver Bells.

Steve Sanders: Incoming!
[a snowball that Steve has just thrown hits Colin in the shoulder]
Colin Robbins: [Colin looks at Steve] Are you kidding me Sanders?
[Drops the hot chocolate and throws a snowball at Steve]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Injustice for All (#5.14)" (1994)
Steve Sanders: This system is so screwed up.
Jesse Vasquez: Now, wait... wait a minute, Steve. The legal system works fine for some people. I don't hear Griffin or his father, Ted Stone, complaining about it.
Steve Sanders: That's because they had nothing to lose. Griffin betrayed my trust. I was misled to how serious the charges were against me by everyone. On top of that, my father, Rush, sold me out to the judge by providing that I don't partake in parties or planning for two years!
Jesse Vasquez: You really think you got ripped off?
Steve Sanders: Yeah, I do. As much as your client got let down, I got let down too.
Jesse Vasquez: [angry tone] Well... maybe you did. But I'll just bet that if you weren't a rich, spoiled white boy, you'd probably be sitting in jail right about now! So, don't you ever... EVER, again say to me that we have a screwed up system! Is that clear?

Griffin Stone: What more do you want from me? It's over.
Steve Sanders: It's not over! We've got two years of probation. We've got community service. And now, thanks to you, I can't even...
Griffin Stone: [interrupting] Steve, if that's all you're worried about, relax. We'll never have to do those hours. I know a court clerk who knows my father that's right in our pocket and he can get us off with a few phone calls and some rigging of the hours we are supposed to serve.
Steve Sanders: [shaking his head incredulously] You know, I was going to go easy on you and give you until the end of the week to move out, but I just changed my mind. You have one day... no, till the end of today, to pack your things and get the hell out of here! You are to move out of this room, out of this frat house, off campus and never talk to me again!
Griffin Stone: [cocky] Or what?
[Steve slams Griffin against a wall and grabs him by his collar]
Steve Sanders: Here's what: first I'm going to bash in your head. Then, I'm going to squeeze your neck so hard that you're head's going to pop off! You think I'm kidding? You want to test me? Huh? HUH?
Griffin Stone: [angry, but intimidated] All right! I give. You win. I'll move out. You'll never have to see me again.
Steve Sanders: Good. I'm outta here. You better be gone by the time I get back!

Rush Sanders: Steve, any person who steals a house key to use for a rave does not deserve any understanding.
Steve Sanders: [caught off guard] What did you say? I didn't steal any key.
Rush Sanders: Drop the innocent act. Griffin told me yesterday how both of you lifted that key to the brownstone house from his father, Ted Stone's reality office. Now if I know you, I'd say the whole thing was your idea considering the West Beverly High break-in during your senior year.
Steve Sanders: Wait, Griffin said I lifted the key to the house? Griffin told me that he had permission! That's the only reason why I gave him a cut of the profits in the first place!
Rush Sanders: [scoffs] Yeah... right. Still more lies. At least I'm so glad I don't have to listen to any more parties or planning them.
Steve Sanders: How can you say that? I am not lying here! I didn't know Griffin lifted that key until just now when you told me. Yet, you provide that I cannot operate or partake in parties or raves anymore. This was going to be my career, my living... my livelihood!
Rush Sanders: I'm afraid I can't stand and listen to any more of your lying, whining, and moaning. It's over, Steve. You should thank God that you got off light. Now if you don't mind, I have another meeting downtown. Oh, and one more thing... the next time you get into trouble with the law and you need someone to bail you out, do me a favor: don't call me. Call your mother.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: My Desperate Valentine (#2.16)" (1991)
Steve Sanders: I thought you blew her off!
Brandon Walsh: I did, she blew back in!

Cindy Walsh: What did you say to her?
Steve Sanders: Basically, he told her to drop dead!
Cindy Walsh: Brandon!

Steve Sanders: How ya doin'? This is Sal's Pizzeria, we got em large, small, fourteen declicious toppings all justa for you!
Steve Sanders: Hello?

"Beverly Hills, 90210: All That Jazz (#7.28)" (1997)
Steve Sanders: [about the Television Award show that is honoring his mother] If I get sick my mother's gonna kill me!
Brandon Walsh: Steve, it's not that contagious.
[Val walks in sneezing and coughing. Steve grabs a napkin]
Steve Sanders: Apparently not! Hope your feeling better Val.
[Walks out with the napkin over his nose and mouth]

Steve Sanders: [to Brandon at the Award show] Clare has been giving me a hard time about my mother.

Steve Sanders: [Confronts his mother about her behavior] Don't you think you should pay a little more attention to your date?
Samantha Sanders: [Condescendingly] Don't you think you should pay attention to your own business?

"Beverly Hills, 90210: The Penultimate (#10.26)" (2000)
Steve Sanders: [helping David dig a message to Donna in the sand] You said something about making a sign, but nothing about manual labor.

David Silver: I open myself up to you guys and look at what I get.
Steve Sanders: Riddicule.
Dylan McKay: Of course.

Kelly Taylor: [On her patio] Doesn't it seem like for the longest time we have been living in a Stephen King novel. Where your afraid to turn the next page because something terrible might happen to someone in the group?
Steve Sanders: I don't know. Maybe we have been. Maybe there's someone out there devising this unbeilevably, horrific plan for us to go through. Just makes it more amazing that we survived. That after all these years were still friends. Friends who depend on each other, friends who help each other.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Smashed (#6.25)" (1996)
Morton Muntz: Hey Sanders! Are these two fair game?
Ryan Sanders: How are we supposed to be any good if we don't practice?
Morton Muntz: The boy has a point!
Steve Sanders: One round!

Steve Sanders: [after Ryan has passed out from alcohol poisoning] You mean he could die?

Rush Sanders: [At the hospital] How the hell could you let something like this happen?
[He walks away]
Steve Sanders: [to Clare] What if he does die?

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Duke's Bad Boy (#3.23)" (1993)
[after Brandon confides in Steve about owing $1,500 to a mobster bookie]
Steve Sanders: Brandon, why didn't you tell me a little bit about this sooner? Maybe I could have helped you.
Brandon Walsh: I didn't want anyone to know. It's my business.
Steve Sanders: You can always go to your Dad and ask him to bail you out.
Brandon Walsh: No, no, I can't tell my Dad. I've been lying to him for too long by telling him that I'm just betting chump change. It's not his problem, and I can't drag him into it. He ever finds out that I've squandered all my money and then some on sports and that I've been lying to him about it, he'll never trust me again.
Steve Sanders: Well, which is worse? Telling your Dad about the trouble you're in, or telling Duke that you can't pay him?
Brandon Walsh: I don't know. I really don't know. I'm out of control, man... I don't know what I would have done to that kid out there if you hadn't shown up.
Steve Sanders: How could you even expect Jeff to come up with than kind of money?
Brandon Walsh: I don't know! I got an angry bookie after me for $1,500 of losses, and... Nat's right... I'm totally out of control. I'm hooked. All I can think of is grabbing the nearest phone and trying to decide which bookie to call to place a bet. Wait... maybe you can go to your Mom. Tell her some sob story to get the money.
Steve Sanders: No, I don't think so. She put the breaks on that kind of thing a long time ago. She gives me a check at the beginning of the month for a grand and I have to make it last. And, it's all gone right now except for $300.
Brandon Walsh: I'll take it.
Steve Sanders: [gives Brandon all his cash] All right here. But then what?
Brandon Walsh: I don't know! I'll pray. What do you think they're gonna do to me if I can't pay all of it? Break my nose? Maybe, break my thumbs?
Steve Sanders: No, not for $1,500.
Brandon Walsh: Steve, he's got this big goon that drives him around.
Steve Sanders: Nah. I think Duke's just trying to scare you. You'll see.
Brandon Walsh: I don't think so.

Donna Martin: Steve, please will you come and see what's going on!
Steve Sanders: What are you talking about?
Donna Martin: I went over to the recording studio at Icon Records to see David, and his recording manager, Serge... whats-his-name, was making him sing this really awful song! A song that's nothing like David's hip-hop material. When I talked with Serge by asking him what he was doing, he had me thrown out of the studio and he won't let me talk or see David at all! He's killing David's music and David apparently doesn't realize that!
Steve Sanders: Not my problem anymore, Donna.
Donna Martin: How can you say that?
Steve Sanders: David fired me as his manager. He made his choice. He choose to work with that scumball Curtis Bray and his hacks at Icon Records instead of sticking with me.
Donna Martin: I know and David feels awful about it. He really does. But he didn't have a choice.
Steve Sanders: Yes, he did have a choice! Nobody held a gun to his head and told him to drop me. I don't want to see David or even talk to him... ever again!
Donna Martin: Will you at least come with me to the recording studio just to see what Serge is doing to David's music? Please? If not for David, do it for me. I'm really concerned about David.
Steve Sanders: [after a pause] All right, fine. I'll go with you to the studio to see what they're doing over there.

Donna Martin: So? How did the meeting with Curis Bray go?
David Silver: Down the tubes.
Donna Martin: Down the tubes?
David Silver: They dumped me. I'm fired. Finnished from Icon records.
Donna Martin: What? Why?
David Silver: Bray hated the song!
Steve Sanders: We all hated the song!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Judgement Day (#7.12)" (1996)
Steve Sanders: No one can humiliate Steve Sanders more than he can humiliate himself because...
Steve Sanders, Brandon Walsh: Steve Sanders has no shame!

Steve Sanders: [In his room after Clare yells at him for copying Brandon's sociology quizzes] Randall's sociology quizzes. Friday quizzes, Columbus Day Massacre. I failed that quiz.
Clare Arnold: Right. You got an 84 how can you prove that you failed?
[Arms crossed disbelief]
Steve Sanders: It's easy Clare. I failed them all. Come on.
[He takes her hand and they leave]

Steve Sanders: [At the hearing, after Clare points out that Steve does have a right to be there with information that can help the defendant] The test he said I cheated on, I failed that test. Columbus Day Massacre. I tanked huge!
Chancelor Milton Arnold: [Picks up the course ledger] The course ledger says you got an 84?
Steve Sanders: [Holds up his quiz for the board to see] Look at my quiz, a 17!
Professor Cory Randall: Ok, so maybe I got the date wrong.
Steve Sanders: No, no, I failed them all Randy.
[He gives the borad a different quiz]
Steve Sanders: October a 17, November a 17, another Friday quiz an oldie but goody 13!
[the board looks shocked]
Professor Cory Randall: Objection! Where did these tests appear from in the nick of time?
Steve Sanders: [Looks at Randall] Students save their old exams for study sessions.
Chancelor Milton Arnold: [to Randall] I am appalled. I am appalled that you would prevert the honor of this university by manufacturing evidence. All the charges against Brandon Walsh are dismissed. And you will have a hearing of your own to look forward too!
[Randall looks defeated and knows he is in trouble]
Steve Sanders: [Smiles] Sounds like the fat lady is singing to me!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Everything's Coming Up Roses (#6.4)" (1995)
Clare Arnold: [Correcting Steve's math homework] Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Steve Sanders: Clare, if you gave me a multiple choice, at least I'd have half a chance.
Clare Arnold: Steve, I don't think you get it, okay? You see, math is the one subject where you kind of can't take the easy way out.
Steve Sanders: Oh, yeah? Then why did they invent calculators, huh?

Clare Arnold: I'm starting to feel really sorry for you, so I'm going to ask you an easy question, okay? If I have two tickets to a Royal Ball, but I'm only using one, how many do I have left?
Steve Sanders: Uh, one ticket.
Clare Arnold: Yay! You got it right. Congratulations.
Steve Sanders: Great. So what do I win?
Clare Arnold: A date with me.

Brandon Walsh: "Sensitive, gentle, caring"? Ever hear of truth in advertising?
Steve Sanders: Well, yeah, but you get more honey with flies.
Brandon Walsh: Can't argue with logic like that!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Brandon Leaves (#9.5)" (1998)
Brandon Walsh: I talked to my parents.
Steve Sanders: Oh, you didn't have to call your parents.
Brandon Walsh: The house is yours for as long as you want it.
Steve Sanders: But I'm glad you did.

Steve Sanders: [after Brandon recalls meeting Donna at West Bev] I remember that.
Steve Sanders: Boy did she ever save your butt!

Brandon Walsh: [after listening to everyone's goodbye at the Peach Pit] So what you're all saying is get the hell out of here?
Steve Sanders: Pretty much.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Commencement: Part 1 (#3.29)" (1993)
Steve Sanders: Bro! Bro! Mrs. Teasley's actually writing me a letter of recommendation to any college I want to go to! You know what this means? This means I get to go to any college I want to! I'm gonna go to California University with you, man! You the man!
Brandon Walsh: Steve! Steve! You kiss me, I'm gonna slap you.
Steve Sanders: You didn't think that she liked me, did you? She loves me a lot! She loves me because I'm...
[Steve walks off and walks up to a random girl and kisses her]
Steve Sanders: For a year I've wanted to do that to you!

Mrs. Yvonne Teasley: You know, Steven, it's been my experience that every class has at least one un-redeemable student, a student who's values are so warped that punishment has no effect.
Steve Sanders: Is this your way of telling me I'm not graduating tomorrow?
Mrs. Yvonne Teasley: May I finish, please?
Steve Sanders: Sure. Knock yourself out.
Mrs. Yvonne Teasley: And I realized early on that you were the member of the class of '93 whom I would have to write off... until I realized I'd misjudged you.
Steve Sanders: You had?
Mrs. Yvonne Teasley: Your grades since December have improved, no doubt due to the extra study time in detention, but the real awakening came when I found out that, on the day after you had won $10,000 for making the half court shot at the Laker game, someone donated $10,000.00 to the Alvarado Street Camp fund.
Steve Sanders: Really?
Mrs. Yvonne Teasley: Someone who's return address happened to be the Hartley house.
Steve Sanders: What a coincidence.
Mrs. Yvonne Teasley: What a wonderful thing to do!

Donna Martin: Nat, what would you leave me?
Nat Bussichio: That singing group that came in here to serenade you.
David Silver: Color Me Badd!
Brenda Walsh: What about me Nat?
Nat Bussichio: Oh that one is easy,
Nat Bussichio: Laverne!
David Silver: Wait a minute, who's Laverne?
Steve Sanders: She's that crazy chick who used to work for Nat!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Truth and Consequences (#4.29)" (1994)
Laura Kingman: I don't suppose you could kidnap her and lock her in the closet.
Steve Sanders: That's tempting!
Laura Kingman: How about some kind of injury like a broken finger or toe. Though you would have to make it look like an accident.
Steve Sanders: Laura, you aren't serious, are you?
Laura Kingman: She didn't play fair, why should we?

Steve Sanders: Laura showed her true colors. I mean this girl is wacko with a capital "J". She wanted this part so badly she cranked called Brenda's house so she could miss the first rehearsal.
Kelly Taylor: Cute.
[Looking disgusted]
Steve Sanders: It gets worse. Now she is trying to pull a Tonya Harding and she wants me to put Brenda out of commission.

Laura Kingman: [Outside the auditorium] They took the part away from me!
Steve Sanders: Laura, it was never yours to begin with.
Laura Kingman: She wasn't supposed to be there! Why didn't you help me?
Steve Sanders: Because Brenda never slept with him!
Laura Kingman: So now you believe Brenda!
Steve Sanders: Laura, get a grip on yourself, you're starting to lose it!
Laura Kingman: [Turns to face him. Anger on her face] What? Now you think I'm crazy!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Something in the Air (#3.28)" (1993)
Brenda Walsh: [into the phone] That's right. At 10:00 exactly, you walk out.
Kelly Taylor: [into the phone] Listen, I'm sure you've heard about what's happening to Donna Martin...
David Silver: [into the phone] All you got to do is get up from whatever exam you're taking and walk out the door...
Steve Sanders: [into the phone] No, you don't need a note from your mother...
Andrea Zuckerman: [into the phone] Everyone's going to be doing it, and you don't want to be left there all alone.
Brandon Walsh: [into the phone] See you tomorrow, cool. Bye.

Dylan McKay: Tell Superintendent Ephardt that summer registration is going to break the record this year.
Steve Sanders: [to Ms. Teasley] Donna Martin graduates!
Kelly Taylor: [to Ms. Teasley] Donna Martin graduates!
Dylan McKay: Donna Martin graduates!
[Chant begins with Brenda]

Steve Sanders: [after Donna is allowed to graduate and the students are on the steps] I got a great idea, let's all get drunk!
Mrs. Yvonne Teasley: Steven, I know I didn't hear that.
[Toby gives a smirk]
Mrs. Yvonne Teasley: Everyone fun's over; let's go back to school, afternoon finals will proceed as scheduled.
[groans and Mrs. T. turns to Donna]
Mrs. Yvonne Teasley: You too, Donna.
Donna Martin: You know Mrs. T., I have never been so happy to take a final in my entire life.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: I Will Be Your Father Figure (#10.19)" (2000)
Janet Sosna Sanders: Why is Ryan staying with us and not at your dad's place?
Steve Sanders: Because Rush is out of town.
Janet Sosna Sanders: Try again.

Ryan Sanders: Morning.
Steve Sanders: Morning? It's 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Where the hell were you?

Steve Sanders: Normally I wouldn't care but Ryan almost died of alcohol posioning 4 years ago.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Jobbed (#7.14)" (1997)
Steve Sanders: [At the Peach Pit after telling Clare about the woman coming onto him at the Job Fair] She said she was going to be at the job fair tomorrow if I changed my mind. Maye I should to shut you up.
[Walks away hurt and angry]
Clare Arnold: Steve!

Steve Sanders: [after busting the woman for hitting on Steve] What upsets me the most is the fact that you didn't believe me.
Clare Arnold: [Turns away knowing he is right] You're right. I was foolish.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Class of Beverly Hills (#1.0)" (1990)
Steve Sanders: She is the biggest bitch at West Beverly High. I should know. I went out with her for a year.

Steve Sanders: You got a nose job!
Kelly Taylor: Yeah, I did.
Steve Sanders: Looks good.
Kelly Taylor: Big improvement, huh!
Steve Sanders: Yeah, they took about a foot off.
Kelly Taylor: Now I know why I broke up with you.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Straight Shooter (#7.21)" (1997)
Brandon Walsh: [Outside the After Dark there is a shrine to Dick complete with a bong] Look how they remember him; man!
Steve Sanders: [Walks up and picks it up] Who left this here?
[Nobody fesses up]
Steve Sanders: I see; it's nobody's bong.
[In anger and hurt he throws the bong to the ground. Kelly, Tracy and Clare jump at the sound]

Steve Sanders: [about Dick] This isn't cool, this is stupid. I know what I'm talking about. I'm alive today because Dick died first. I was next in line to catch that same bus. I told him to save me some. I found him in the bathroom.
[Looks at the crowd]
Steve Sanders: Want to know what is last words were. I don't want to die.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye (#4.1)" (1993)
Steve Sanders: That's not the best part!
[pulls out a key]
Brandon Walsh: They sent you a master key with your registration packet.
Steve Sanders: I knew you were going to say that!

Steve Sanders: [Glass breaks] Tell me I didn't hear that!
David Silver: You didn't hear that.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Wild Horses (#3.14)" (1992)
Steve Sanders: You all overrated me.
[Looks sadly at Brandon]

Steve Sanders: Andrea, I never needed a reason to be nice to you.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Vital Signs (#4.30)" (1994)
Steve Sanders: [In Laura's dorm room] Is Clare out of your system?
Brandon Walsh: Clare is gone but the curse of Clare remains!

Brenda Walsh: [to Steve] Talk is cheap Steve!
Steve Sanders: Man, that girl is never going to forgive me!
Kelly Taylor: See the play Steve!
Brandon Walsh: See the play!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Let's Eat Cake (#10.2)" (1999)
Steve Sanders: [after Janet leaves and all four were looking at her boobs] Well she had a boob job.
Noah Hunter: You tell us, you're the one sleeping with her.
Steve Sanders: Not lately.
Dylan McKay: That is why you're not happy about this Steve.
Steve Sanders: Why wouldn't she tell me she was going to have it done?
Matt Durning: I heard that they feel different.
Noah Hunter: [to Matt] You never had them?

Janet Sosna: Steve, the reason my body is different is because I'm pregnant.
Steve Sanders: What?
[Comes closer to her]
Steve Sanders: Say it again?
Janet Sosna: I'm pregnant.
Steve Sanders: This is so unexpected.
[Hugs her]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: The Final Proof (#10.16)" (2000)
Steve Sanders: [to Dylan after learning of Noah being kidnapped by Josie and Shane] This superhero complex of yours is going to get somebody killed.

Steve Sanders: Your going to need help.
Dylan McKay: You got a wife and a kid.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Chuckie's Back (#2.17)" (1991)
Steve Sanders: Know what you are Wilson?
Chuck Wilson: No, big guy why don't you tell me.
Steve Sanders: Your has been!

Samantha Sanders: [Enters Steve's room and sees Brandon and Steve] Steven, why didn't you tell me we had company?
Steve Sanders: Brandon's not company.
Brandon Walsh: I heard about the Hartly House Reunion show. Good luck.
Samantha Sanders: Don't Jinx it. Norman says everything looks good. If we can get Charles to agree.
Brandon Walsh: Charles?
Steve Sanders: Chuckie.
Samantha Sanders: Whatever you do gorgeous, don't call him that tonight at dinner.
Steve Sanders: On second thought I think I'll eat at Brandon's.
Samantha Sanders: No your not.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: The Phantom Menace (#10.1)" (1999)
Steve Sanders: When you regain your sanity you can join me.

Steve Sanders: She loves me.
David Silver: Wow! Sometimes I don't get you at all.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: The Easter Bunny (#10.22)" (2000)
Janet Sosna Sanders: I'm sorry, Booth Gunderson is obnoxious.
Steve Sanders: Why, because he doesn't like tabloids? You don't like tabloids.
Janet Sosna Sanders: Yes, but I have a constructively critical attitude.
Steve Sanders: Calling your husband's ideas moronic is not constructive.
Janet Sosna Sanders: Wives can call their husbands morons. Neighbors cannot.

[trying to replace the rabbit the dog they're sitting has killed]
Janet Sosna Sanders: You know this is grounds for divorce.
Steve Sanders: Shh! Quiet! You know what to do?
Janet Sosna Sanders: Sure. Once you trespass, I hand the cage down to you, thereby becoming an accessory after the fact. And then I watch to make sure that no one sees you make a complete fool of yourself.
Steve Sanders: Okay. And if you see someone?
Janet Sosna Sanders: I can't say it.
Steve Sanders: Oh, come on! That's the most important part!
Janet Sosna Sanders: I hoot. Like an owl.
[Steve leans in and kisses Janet]
Steve Sanders: You're the best.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Leap of Faith (#6.23)" (1996)
Steve Sanders: [He, Clare and Val are watching a high speed chase on tv] Isn't that Colin's van?

Steve Sanders: [after the ground crew gets an up close shot of Colin being arrested] It's Colin alright.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Eddie Waitkus (#10.18)" (2000)
Steve Sanders: [In Dylan's hotel room] One of the passengers looked like your dad.
Dylan McKay: My dad's been dead for seven years.

Steve Sanders: [Dylan and Steve watch as the news anchor repeats the tape with the passengers] Tell me that guy isn't an exact replica of your father.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Mother's Day (#7.29)" (1997)
Steve Sanders: [In the living room of the Beach Apartment; telling Clare about the talk he had with her father] He showed me some pictures. Thought you might like to see them.
[Pulls out a photo album]
Clare Arnold: He looked at these?
Clare Arnold: He hasn't opened that book since she died.
Steve Sanders: That's not true. Your dad told me he looks at a picture of your mom every night. He even talks to her.
Clare Arnold: He's never told me that!
[Really shocked and on the verge of tears]
Steve Sanders: You've never asked him. He thought you just didn't want to talk about her; but he did.

Steve Sanders: I was wrong about your father Clare, he is over her as much as anyone could be over someone they loved. It's you Clare, you're the one who's not over her.
Clare Arnold: She's my mom! I miss her.
Steve Sanders: Talk to her, let her back in your life, she'll help you heal!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Home Is Where the Tart Is (#6.1)" (1995)
Ray Pruit: [to Brandon] Don't worry, man. I have the ultimate set of tools.
David Silver: It's going to take a lot more than tools to fix up this place.
Steve Sanders: There is nothing that money can't fix.
Brandon Walsh: Your money, thank you very much.
Steve Sanders: Big deal.
Donna Martin: Look, Brandon we'll all help. We'll put everything back the way it was, okay?
Clare Arnold: Yeah, you know what my dad says. You make your bed, you gotta sleep in it.
Ginger LaMonica: Just don't sleep in it alone.

Brandon Walsh: I pity you Silver!
Steve Sanders: Don't pity him, have pity on me; I busted my butt in summer school and I'm still not a Junior!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: The Leprechaun (#9.19)" (1999)
Steve Sanders: [after finding the door to the Beverly Beat flooded with pledges for the man with the dying son] Another $75.
Janet Sosna: $50.00. How many letters do you think are here?
Steve Sanders: Must be a couple hundred.
[Start to go through finding more money]

Janet Sosna: It's a miracle!
Steve Sanders: No its not, It's a pot of gold!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Parental Guidance Recommended (#3.20)" (1993)
Steve Sanders: What's the problem?
David Silver: I've been trying to tell you all day. Bray wants to give me a recording deal, but... he wants to make some changes. Big changes.
Steve Sanders: Are you still worried about that? David, I told you, your music is the ticket. Whatever the catch is, say yes. If he wants to change your music, then you should argue with him about it and I'll help you any way I can.
David Silver: Steve, it's not the music that he wants to change. It's the personnel.
Steve Sanders: Huh?
David Silver: Curtis Bray will give me a recording deal... only if I let you go as my manager. He was very firm on that. He said either you go, or no deal.
Steve Sanders: Well... at least we found out sooner than later that Curtis Bray's not only a shark, but he's also a major sleazeball. It's a little setback, but it's okay. We'll find somebody else. I mean, they're not powerful or well known like Curtis Bray, but...

David Silver: Steve, I'm going to tell him yes.
Steve Sanders: [enraged tone] You're gonna tell him what? I hooked you up with this guy!
David Silver: I don't have any another choice.
Steve Sanders: Yes, you do!
David Silver: If I say no to Curtis Bray, he woun't give me any record deal. Worse still, he will not speak highly of me or recommend me to any other record producer.
Steve Sanders: So?
David Silver: SO? So, what good is it going to do any one of us if I get nowhere?
Steve Sanders: When I was shelling out bribes at the Beverly Hills Beach Club this summer just so you could get your first gig, that's when you were nowhere!
David Silver: Steve, if this thing goes anywhere, you know I'll come back for you.
Steve Sanders: Don't do me any favors! Without me there at Icon Records to look after you, Curtis Bray and his sharks are gonna eat you alive, David!
David Silver: I'm sorry. I just got to do what's right for me, that's all.
Steve Sanders: You know, I've done some pretty pathetic things in my life, but this... at least now I know I'm not the lowest of the low!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: A Night to Remember (#3.27)" (1993)
Steve Sanders: Well, no nookie for you tonight hey Silver?
David Silver: I'm never gonna get any.

Donna Martin: I bet my dear mom was up there being head warden. She's been trying to get something like this passed for years!
Steve Sanders: What's with your mother Donna, does she have a wild bug in her ear?
Donna Martin: It's more than a bug, she wants to run for mayor!
David Silver: God help us all!
Donna Martin: Hey, this is my mom we are talking about!
David Silver: [Corrects himself] To know her is to love her!
Donna Martin: Thank you.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Ode to Joy (#10.27)" (2000)
Steve Sanders: [His toast] I think I speak for everyone in this room when I say "It's about time". The only good thing to come out of you guys waiting so long is that we got the chance to pick a perfect song for your long awaited first dance.

Steve Sanders: It is entitled, "Ode to Silver." In fair Beverly Hills a boy did reign, Davy Silver was his name. From far and wide the girls did speak for they heard of Davy's bedroom deeds.
[Hands it off to Dylan]
Dylan McKay: Donna Martin, with the golden hair was the first into our David's lair. Virgins we the couple swore until a girl named Ariel blew David's door.
[Hands it to Noah]
Noah Hunter: Clare was next and then some fox named Malone. Sophie and David took it all the way home. Yeah alright.
[Hands it to Muntz]
Morton Muntz: Denise was fun and Carol too!
[looks at David for the last part and waves the paper at him]
Morton Muntz: Claudia couldn't get her green card and that made poor David weep.
[Hands it back to Steve]
Steve Sanders: Don't forget Katie, the sex addict she. Robyn who hated his radio personality. Marta the artist, wasn't she fun? And Gina Kincaid, Oh number one!
Dylan McKay: I'll second that!
[Noah laughs and smiles]
Steve Sanders: One stop was left. Her name was Camille. We thought it might last but come on guys, get real. There's only one dame, her name's Donna. She's fine, my God Silver, it's about time!
[Nat and Mel clap. He gives the copy to David]
David Silver: I'll burn that. Thank you.
Steve Sanders: It's okay I have an original that I framed and you can hang it up.
[David pretends to rip the poem]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Emily (#4.13)" (1993)
Steve Sanders: [In the beach front apartment, Steve comes out wearing a dress] Don't say anything.
Donna Martin: You look beautiful!

David Silver: [Steve is in the Student Union wearing the dress and handing out flyers] You make the perfect Keg girl!
Steve Sanders: This is embarrassing enough without you here, so could you please just bail!
Kelly Taylor: I think he looks sexy.
Donna Martin: He is wearing my lipstick!
Steve Sanders: Enough already!
David Silver: Now I know why I didn't join a fraternity!
Dylan McKay: Must be a drag. Huh Steve... drag.
[He and David laugh and collapse on each other]
Steve Sanders: Yeah I get it! Ha! Now beat it.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: She Came in Through the Bathroom Window (#3.26)" (1993)
[Dylan, Steve, and Ginger are dressed up in green skin suits for a TV commercial]
Dylan McKay: I started the day studying for the SAT's, and now look at me, Steve. I'm Kermit the Frog!
Steve Sanders: With a rash!

Brandon Walsh: Oh Ginger!
[Dylan pops up above him around the bathroom door]
Dylan McKay: Oh Tina!
[Steve pops his head in above Dylan]
Steve Sanders: Oh Adrienne!
Brandon Walsh, Dylan McKay, Steve Sanders: [Look at each other and enter the men's bathroom] Oh Marla!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Senior Week (#7.30)" (1997)
Steve Sanders: Did you say no safety net?
Rush Sanders: Not a stitch. From now on your on your own!
[Steve is upset]

Brandon Walsh: We're graduating from school bro, not each other.
Steve Sanders: That means I'm stuck with your face!
Brandon Walsh: The feeling's entirely mutual!
[Both laugh]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Hello Life, Goodbye Beverly Hills (#5.30)" (1995)
Steve Sanders: [about her always helping him academically] Think of it this way its the last time you will ever have to help me again.
Andrea Zuckerman-Vasquez: Steve don't say it that way ok, I'm just going to get sad.

Andrea Zuckerman-Vasquez: [In the Peach Pit for one more tearful goodbye with the gang] You better be nice to me. I got something in that diaper bag that you really need!
David Silver: Oh, Steve she left you a dirty diaper!
Steve Sanders: My paper, I took to heart what you said and wrote my own last night.
Andrea Zuckerman-Vasquez: You don't want it?
Steve Sanders: I'll still take it!
[Jesse gives him the paper]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Homecoming (#5.6)" (1994)
Steve Sanders: [about stealing the rivals mascot for the big game] Once 30 years ago, my dad and some of his KEG brothers pulled this off!
Griffin Stone: It is definitely time for history to repeat itself.

Valerie Malone: [after hearing about Kelly, Steve's and Griffin's plot to steal the mascott] I have an idea but it's kind of cruel!
Griffin Stone: Cruel is preferable!
Steve Sanders: Cruel is very good!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Sentenced to Life (#5.16)" (1995)
Saul Howard: Chuckie, I... I know I'm losing my mind.
Steve Sanders: [holding back tears] No, don't say that, Saul. You're going to get better.
Saul Howard: Nah. You don't have to lie to make me feel good. I know all about my Alzheimer's and what it does to me. Makes me often or occasionally go in and out of these spells, like you saw this morning and this afternoon. Believe me, today was just one of my good days. So, if I do anything strange or crazy, please... don't let it bother you, kid.
Steve Sanders: Don't worry, Saul. I won't.

Saul Howard: You're a good kid, Chuckie. No matter what Rush did, he raised a good boy.
Steve Sanders: Look, do me a favor, okay? Don't mention his name. I'm not talking to my father right now.
Saul Howard: Don't say that. Please. The most important thing is family.
Steve Sanders: Yeah. Tell that to my old man. I don't think even he knows what the word means.
Saul Howard: What are you bitching about? You got it so bad? Look at you. You got your whole life ahead of you. Why don't you stop complaining?
Steve Sanders: You don't understand. I hate my father. He makes my life miserable.
Saul Howard: My daughter hated me, too. She said I worked too hard. She was right. I was always on the road, and when I was around, I fought with that kid night and day, 'til we finally stopped talking. Months went by. Then one day I just, out of the blue, I called her on the phone, and I said, "I just want you to know, honey... no matter what happened between us, darling, I love you and I'll always love you." And she accepted it. Two weeks later, I lost her in that car accident I told you about. But I thank God every day that I made that phone call and got to talk to her before her time was up. Chuckie... listen to me. Do the right thing. Don't let too much time go by before you make up with your father. Otherwise, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Nancy's Choice (#6.19)" (1996)
Steve Sanders: [about Elle] You didn't tell her?
Clare Arnold: Tell me what?

Steve Sanders: Elle has a peeky!
Clare Arnold: You guys must think I'm really stupid!
Brandon Walsh: Clare, Elle is a transvestite!
[Clare walks away disgusted not believing them]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Remember the Alamo (#7.1)" (1996)
Brandon Walsh: Huh. That's a bus to Houston. It's a sign from God. You got to get on it.
Steve Sanders: Hmm. Yeah?
Brandon Walsh: You think I want to listen to you complain and watch you limp around for the next two days? Why don't you just get out of here?
Steve Sanders: Okay, listen, if you call home, don't tell anybody. I want to surprise Clare.
Brandon Walsh: I'm sure you will. But be gentle, big boy. She's a small girl.
Steve Sanders: Like a man possessed!

Steve Sanders: [Sees Clare at LAX] Clare? Clare!
Clare Arnold: Steve?
[In slow motion, Steve runs and jumps over seats to get to her while Clare pushes through the crowd to get to him]
Steve Sanders: What are you doing here?
Clare Arnold: I was trying to surprise you, you knucklehead. Why weren't you where you were supposed to be?
Steve Sanders: I couldn't help it; I wanted to see you.
Clare Arnold: I wanted to see you, too.
Steve Sanders: [Kissing Clare] Mm I wanted to hold you.
Clare Arnold: Mm I wanted to hold you, too.
Steve Sanders: So you're not mad at me?
Clare Arnold: Of course I'm mad at you. You're going to be punished again and again.
Steve Sanders: Where are we going?
Clare Arnold: The nearest motel!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Girls on the Side (#5.28)" (1995)
[about a gathering of state-wide school student body presidents Brandon has to attend]
Brandon Walsh: It had to be in Sacramento.
Steve Sanders: Why?
Brandon Walsh: [can't believing Steve doesn't get it] Sacramento is the capital of California.

Steve Sanders: Yeah but I don't understand why it's not in some big vacation area like Santa Barbara, Carmel, or Lahoya?
Brandon Walsh: Steve it has to be in Sacramento.
Steve Sanders: Why?
Brandon Walsh: Sacramento's the capital of California.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Gift Wrapped (#7.13)" (1996)
Brandon Walsh: Aren't you supposed to meet Clare for lunch?
Steve Sanders: Well, yeah. But I don't want to desert you.
Brandon Walsh: [deadpan] Please, desert me.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Ever Heard the One About the Exploding Father? (#10.20)" (2000)
Janet Sosna Sanders: There's a picture of you in the CU yearbook, in drag, hanging upside down from the KEG House roof.
Steve Sanders: [smiling reminiscently] I got a lot of dates from that picture.
Janet Sosna Sanders: My point is, you were on the idiot track.
Steve Sanders: I beg your pardon. I was the president of the KEG House!
Janet Sosna Sanders: Okay, so you were the idiot in chief.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: The Loo-Ouch (#10.5)" (1999)
Noah Hunter: Yeah, you got lunch with your old man!
Steve Sanders: The fun never ends.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Skin Deep (#8.28)" (1998)
Steve Sanders: [Walsh Kitchen] Hey Kell, Munt here is getting married.
Kelly Taylor: You are! Congratulations.
[Kisses him]
Morton Muntz: Thanks.
Kelly Taylor: [the Playboy magazine that Kelly found under Brandon's bed is on the counter] I guess you won't be needing these.
Morton Muntz: Yeah, I got to cancel my subscription.
[Flips through the magazine with a pained look]
Morton Muntz: God, that hurts!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: A Pig Is a Boy Is a Dog (#4.23)" (1994)
Dylan McKay: [In the Walsh's driveway] I lent you my girlfriend and you made a move on her!
Steve Sanders: You made a move on Kelly?
Brandon Walsh: Nothing happened.
Dylan McKay: Then you send your little sex freak over looking for a hand out!
Brandon Walsh: Temporary moment of insanity. I wasn't thinking with my head!
Dylan McKay: You weren't thinking at all!
Steve Sanders: Hold on a second, can we back up to the part of the sex freak?
Dylan McKay: You obviously have some kind of problem with me. You wanna hit me; now here's your chance. Come on!
Brandon Walsh: I don't wanna hit you but if you feel like you wanna hit me go ahead!
[Dylan takes a swing and Brandon ducks; Steve gits hit in the nose and falls over]
Steve Sanders: Ouch! Do you know how much a nose costs? I still have two good eyes maybe you each want to gauge those out!
[Shoves Dylan and Brandon off of him]
Brandon Walsh: This is my fault guys!
Dylan McKay: Nothing is your fault until I say it is. It's your fault. I was looking forward to giving you a beating but now I see the beating is going to come from Lucinda!
Brandon Walsh: I know. Look at us she has got us at each other's throats; she has got be loving this.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: All This and Mary Too (#6.22)" (1996)
Nat Bussichio: [In the Peach Pit] So how was the weekend?
Steve Sanders: [Steve and Clare give him a look with their eyes] Oh, you'll see!
Nat Bussichio: [Camera shows the door being opened and Susan on crutches with Brandon right behind her] Oh boy!
[Nat comes over]
Nat Bussichio: Did you break it?
Susan Keats: No, it's just a bad sprain.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Wedding Bell Blues (#2.28)" (1992)
Steve Sanders: So, how are things between you and Joke?
Kelly Taylor: Jake.
Steve Sanders: Whatever.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Graduation Day: Part 1 (#7.31)" (1997)
Steve Sanders: [to Muntz after showing off the illegal confetti used for the prank] Good job agent Muntz!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Loser Take All (#7.9)" (1996)
Steve Sanders: [At the Walsh's talking about Val's supposed abortion] I told Kelly thinking she might want someone to talk to!
Brandon Walsh: You told Kelly and they talked? Right church wrong pew!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: I'm Back Because (#9.8)" (1998)
Steve Sanders: Mrs. Teasley!
Mrs. Yvonne Teasley: Steve Sanders. Some things never change!
[Walks away]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: The Following Options (#9.9)" (1998)
Samantha Sanders: Bill, who plays my husband in the show, dropped a kiss at the end of the scene. It's in the script, we're both professional actors, suddenly he's afraid I'd hate it.
[referring to the National Whisperer]
Samantha Sanders: I hate that.
Steve Sanders: I'm sorry.
Samantha Sanders: Do you know how hard it was for me to tell you I'm gay? I knew it would hurt you.
Steve Sanders: Look, this is a rag. Nobody takes it seriously,
Samantha Sanders: I do.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Senior Poll (#3.25)" (1993)
Donna Martin: What are you going to do with all that money?
Steve Sanders: I'm going to spend it all in one place.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Cuffs and Links (#4.24)" (1994)
Rush Sanders: You wanna drive Brandon?
Brandon Walsh: Love to!
Steve Sanders: Wait a minute! How come he gets to drive and not me?
Brandon Walsh: I don't think Brandon's gotten three speeding tickets in 18 months.

"Melrose Place: Pilot (#1.1)" (1992)
Sandy Louise Harling: Jake, I have just decided that if you're gonna date high school girls, I'm gonna date high school boys. Starting with this one.
[to Steve]
Sandy Louise Harling: You're cute.
Steve Sanders: Steve Sanders.
Sandy Louise Harling: Hi. Sandy. So, where you all from, anyway?
Jake Hanson: Beverly Hills.
Sandy Louise Harling: Oh, Beverly Hills. Handsome and rich.
[about Kelly]
Sandy Louise Harling: Is she from Beverly Hills too?
Steve Sanders: Yeah.
Sandy Louise Harling: Well, I do believe I'm beginning to get the picture.
Jake Hanson: Sandy's an actress. Don't believe anything she says.
Sandy Louise Harling: Shut up, Jake.
Steve Sanders: You know, my Mom's an actress. Samantha Sanders.
Sandy Louise Harling: Like the Samantha Sanders from Hartley House? Oh my God. Well, I would do just anything to meet her.
Steve Sanders: Let me give you my number, and maybe you can drop by this weekend.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Here We Go Again (#7.2)" (1996)
Steve Sanders: [Austin and Ryan are fighting] Hey brothers! What's going on here?
Ryan Sanders: He's and idiot that's what's wrong!
Austin Sanders: Hey! If we we hadn't gotten caught you would not be complaining.
Steve Sanders: What happened?
Ryan Sanders: He had the bright idea to sneak into Beth's cabana so we could take a look at her coming out of the shower.
Steve Sanders: You what?
Ryan Sanders: It was his idea!
Steve Sanders: Get over here!
[Grabs them both and walks them over to a secure place]
Steve Sanders: How stupid could you guys be?
Austin Sanders: Like you never did anything like that!
Steve Sanders: So that makes it smart?
Ryan Sanders: All I know is that I ruined everything with Beth and its his fault.
[Pushes Austin]
Steve Sanders: No, no. Its both of your faults! You got to respect women if you want themm to respect you back!
Austin Sanders: I don't want them to respect me...
Steve Sanders: Hey! Shut up. This may come as a surprise to you but women are human too! Do you think that's a way to a woman's heart? You're wrong! I learned that the hard way. I don't want to see you guys make the same mistakes I made. Understand me?
Ryan Sanders, Austin Sanders: Yeah.
[Ryan looks more ashamed than Austin]
Steve Sanders: If I see you guys pull another stunt like that; were through! I've had it!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Spring Fever (#10.21)" (2000)
Steve Sanders: [Kelly wants to use Maddy for a print ad] My mom was on "The Hartley House", and I grew up around all these child actors. Print ads lead to commercials, which lead to sitcoms, which lead to sex, drugs, and rock star boyfriends. Before you know it, we'll be raiding her bank account, and then she'll be dissing us on "E! True Hollywood Stories." No.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Bobbi Dearest (#9.18)" (1999)
Matt Durning: You can't be sued for libel if what you print is true.
Steve Sanders: Yes!
[Janet rolls her eyes]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Meeting Mr. Pony (#2.25)" (1992)
Kelly Taylor: You know you can be such a jerk sometimes!
Steve Sanders: You wouldn't be laughing if you were failing English.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Snowbound (#6.18)" (1996)
Valerie Malone: Aren't any of you a little disturbed by all this? I mean, didn't you get a good look that them?
Steve Sanders: Kelly and Colin?
Valerie Malone: No. The ghosts from Christmas Past. Yes, Colin and Kelly. Don't you think that this is manic behavior?
Steve Sanders: You heard what she said. Her father gave her some extra cash to blow. She's having a good time, and it seems that she and Colin are happy again. What's the big deal? I don't know about you people, but I'm feel loved.
Valerie Malone: Well, from looking at them, there were both blowing more than cash.
Clare Arnold: What? You think Colin was high again?
Valerie Malone: They both were.
Steve Sanders: Kelly? High? I don't think so.
Clare Arnold: No way. She's been all over Colin from the very beginning about this.
David Silver: That is kind of a far stretch. I don't think she'd be using after what she went through with her mother.
Steve Sanders: And that whole intervention thing with Dylan?
Valerie Malone: Oh, guys, I mean come on! All I keep hearing about is Dylan, and Kelly's mother, and David. When does anybody learn anything from the lessons of the past? From one who used to experiment with coke, as did my own father and mother, I mean trust me. These are guilt gifts. Kelly's getting high.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: I'm Using You 'Cause I Like You (#10.14)" (2000)
Noah Hunter: [about Darby] She called me Hercules!
Steve Sanders: CU Gymnastic team?
Noah Hunter: Yeah, you got a problem here buddy.
[Noah leaves. Steve is panicked]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Camping Trip (#2.7)" (1991)
[the gang are stranded under a shack in the pouring rain]
Kelly Taylor: Steve, I cannot believe you forgot to check the weather report.
Steve Sanders: I didn't forget to check the weather report. I just didn't believe the weather report.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Alone at the Top (#5.22)" (1995)
Steve Sanders: [In a restaurant] Did you sleep with Valerie?
Rush Sanders: What?
Steve Sanders: Don't play dumb with me.
Rush Sanders: You got quite an imagination or a dirty mind.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Toil and Trouble (#8.8)" (1997)
Steve Sanders: [after seeing the table all messed up from sex] We're we robbed?
Brandon Walsh: No.
Steve Sanders: What happened? Small tornado blew through the neighborhood.
Brandon Walsh: Kelly and I...
Kelly Taylor: Couldn't wait to get up stairs.
Steve Sanders: Oh that's a really good one. What happened?
Brandon Walsh: Is that so hard to believe?
Steve Sanders: Maybe not upstairs in the privacy of your bedroom but down here not a chance!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Graduation Day: Part 2 (#7.32)" (1997)
Steve Sanders: [to Val] Rush said he didn't know if he was prouder of my diploma or my senior prank!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: The Game Is Chicken (#3.17)" (1993)
Steve Sanders: Bran, get the cops while I stall them!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: The Big Hurt (#6.28)" (1996)
Steve Sanders: [about Clare's childhood friend being in town who's a prince] The guys is a real prince!
Clare Arnold: [Obviously disgusted at the memories she has of Carl and her] That impresses you?
Steve Sanders: Yeah!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Unreal World (#5.24)" (1995)
Brandon Walsh: [All watch as Brandon and Steve talk about Kelly] Would you put Kelly on that list?
Steve Sanders: If Kelly would take me back; I'd go in a second.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Housewarming (#7.6)" (1996)
Steve Sanders: [David has just emerged from the bathroom] Can I get you a shot of tequilla?
David Silver: [Sarcastic] That's really funny!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: The Morning After (#9.1)" (1998)
Steve Sanders: You call off the wedding and then you sleep with her?
Brandon Walsh: I know.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Radio Daze (#4.5)" (1993)
Steve Sanders: This girl is pissed at me. I screwed up so now what am I going to do?
Brandon Walsh: In a situation like this there is only one thing to do!
Steve Sanders: What's that?
Brandon Walsh: Beg!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello (#9.7)" (1998)
Steve Sanders: Dylan, Hey man
Dylan McKay: Hey buddy
Steve Sanders: Right on. Come on in, it's good to see you
Dylan McKay: How you doing brother?
Donna Martin: Oh my god
David Silver: Good. You on vacation or something?
Steve Sanders: How long you back for?
Dylan McKay: I don't know
Steve Sanders: You know you just missed Valerie
Donna Martin: How's Brenda?
Dylan McKay: Why don't you call her and ask her
Donna Martin: Were sorry were just so good to see you
Kelly Taylor: What's going on?
Dylan McKay: Happy thanksgiving Kel
David Silver: So when you get in?
Dylan McKay: I cleared customs about an hour ago, you don't look happy to see me
Kelly Taylor: I'm just um shocked. How long are you staying?
Dylan McKay: I don't know, but I'm still waiting for my hug
Steve Sanders: I've been saving this for a special occasion
David Silver: Oh and there's no more a special occasion than this very occasion
Matt Durning: Who's that guy?
Kelly Taylor: Um an old friend
David Silver: To Dylan
Steve Sanders: Back amonst the living
Dylan McKay: For the moment

"Beverly Hills, 90210: What's in a Name (#10.10)" (1999)
Steve Sanders: We had a girl, who's as beautiful as her mom.
Janet Sosna Sanders: We did?

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Pride and Prejudice (#8.7)" (1997)
Steve Sanders: [holding up a parcel] This is for Zach.
Carly Reynolds: You shouldn't have.
Steve Sanders: I know. But I wanted to.
Carly Reynolds: I mean you really shouldn't have. You already got him a baseball glove and a model airplane. Toys won't replace a trip to Magic Mountain. Stop playing Santa.
Steve Sanders: Carly, I like Zach. I want him to have these things.
Carly Reynolds: No! Look, your problem is that you don't know when enough is enough. Kids get all excited when they get something new. They play with it every minute of the day until they burn out and then the toy just collects dust in the garage.
Steve Sanders: So, what's your point?
Carly Reynolds: My point is that little boys and grown men who behave like little boys have something in common. Don't use him to get to me. I don't want Zach getting attached just when you decide to go off and find a new toy for him to play with.
Steve Sanders: I thought we were past this.
Carly Reynolds: We were. We're not anymore.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Confession (#9.6)" (1998)
Steve Sanders: [after learning how many issues they have to write themselves] We're dead!
Janet Sosna: We are not dead! I believe in you.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Breast Side Up (#6.12)" (1995)
Steve Sanders: [At the Faculty mixer] Well my mother used to say her show used to remind her of the works of Noel Coward. You know the Comedy of Manners.
Elmo Pickering: I don't mean to pry but who is your mother?
Steve Sanders: Samantha Sanders. Maybe you've heard of her?
John Bardwell: Of course. The Hartley House. One of my favorites.
Steve Sanders: [Looks nervously at Prof. Bardwell] You putting me on Mr. Bardwell?
John Bardwell: No not at all!
Elmo Pickering: Your mother is a comic genius.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Mr. Walsh Goes to Washington (#4.31)" (1994)
Steve Sanders: [about Andrea] Great girl; smart, funny, great kisser.
Jesse Vasquez: [Shocked] You kissed my wife?

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Change Partners (#4.22)" (1994)
[at the door of Andrea's dorm room, Steve is trying to hide Kathy]
Andrea Zuckerman: Steve, I'm not going to lose my room over this!
Steve Sanders: Andrea, wait!Andrea, wait!
[Andrea pushes the door open and sees Kathy half naked]
Andrea Zuckerman: Kathy?
Kathy Fisher: Andrea, Hi!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Love Hurts (#5.23)" (1995)
[after a Flaming Lips concert]
Steve Sanders: You know, I've never been a big fan of alternative music, but these guys rocked the house!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Sibling Revelry (#10.11)" (1999)
Steve Sanders: Ohhhhhhhh, and wait 'til you taste ice cream! Ice cream's really good.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: You Gotta Have Heart (#5.20)" (1995)
Steve Sanders: [about blowing the telethons main act] Clare, I really blew it this time.
Clare Arnold: Well the girls are great anyway.
Steve Sanders: What girls?
Clare Arnold: Joi, Di, and Tonya.
Steve Sanders: Jade's here?
[Looks thrilled and shocked]
Clare Arnold: Yeah!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: It's Only a Test (#1.17)" (1991)
Steve Sanders: You know what?
Andrea Zuckerman: Hmm?
Steve Sanders: You're pretty cute without your glasses
Andrea Zuckerman: Laughs God. Is that supposed to be some kind of compliment?
Steve Sanders: No, this is. He kisses her
Andrea Zuckerman: She grabs him and kisses him back.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: A Mate for Life (#7.3)" (1996)
Steve Sanders: And there she goes. Go figure.
Brandon Walsh: My advice, give her 25 years.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: The Kindness of Strangers (#3.15)" (1992)
Steve Sanders: Mom I...
Samantha Sanders: Don't even talk to me!
[He closes his mouth and she leaves]
Steve Sanders: Mrs. Teasley.
Mrs. Yvonne Teasley: [Holds her hand up and gives him an annoyed look] Don't talk to me either!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: I'm Happy for You... Really (#10.25)" (2000)
Janet Sosna Sanders: [learning Maddy has grown her first tooth] Her first tooth, and I missed it? What's next, her first tuba recital?
Steve Sanders: Oh, no. Our daughter's not playing the tuba. She won't have any dates when she's older if she's playing the tuba.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Somewhere in the World It's Christmas (#4.15)" (1993)
Steve Sanders: Nat, why is it that every Christmas there is something major going on in my life? Two years ago I ran away on a bus to New Mexico to find my birth mother, turns out she is dead. Last year I break into the school to try to change my grades and I almost got expelled.
Nat Bussichio: Are you telling me, that you are in the same hot water again?
Steve Sanders: It ain't pretty Nat. I got busted breaking into a professor's office.
[Nat glares at him]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Doc Martin (#10.17)" (2000)
Steve Sanders: [to Dylan and Noah outside the Peach Pit] Donna's dad died last night. He had a stroke.
[Noah and Dylan give pained sympathy looks]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: I'm Married (#9.14)" (1999)
Donna Martin: [after finding out Noah cheated with glasses that can read marked cards] Double-cross my boyfriend?
Steve Sanders: He did have you down to your g-string!
Donna Martin: [At the thought of last night] OOh, I'm so in!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: You Say It's Your Birthday: Part 1 (#6.31)" (1996)
Steve Sanders: [Watching his half brothers make a Birthday wish to Steve and how they want to be just like him] Keep drinking!
[Everyone laughs]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Aloha Beverly Hills: Part 1 (#8.1)" (1997)
Steve Sanders: [Val walks back into the hotel room] The huntress returns from her hunt!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Heaven Scent (#7.25)" (1997)
Steve Sanders: [after hooking up the hardware to retrieve her paper] What did you name it?
Clare Arnold: Ap-Physics.Arnold.
Steve Sanders: Come to papa.
Clare Arnold: That's my term paper.
[Shows her paper crypted]
Steve Sanders: That's it. Just relax it's transcribing.
Clare Arnold: [paper shows up on the screen] Oh my God. You did it.
[Excited cry]
Steve Sanders: There'll be some holes to fill in but I'm sure you can handle that.
[Walks away]
Clare Arnold: Where you going?
Steve Sanders: My work here is done.
Clare Arnold: You're leaving?
Steve Sanders: Yeah, that's right Clare. I might not know a lot about computers but I do know that you can find yourself another punching bag.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Slipping Away (#9.17)" (1999)
Janet Sosna: There's nothing racist about wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone with shared values.
Steve Sanders: We have shared values.
Janet Sosna: Steve, you're sorting through trash.
Steve Sanders: Yeah. And I own a tabloid, and I'm white, and my mom's gay, and I love you, and I love the Three Stooges. So who cares about the rest?
Janet Sosna: What did you just say?
Steve Sanders: I said I love the Three Stooges.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Commencement: Part 2 (#3.30)" (1993)
Steve Sanders: Now here is your host David Silver!
[David comes out]
David Silver: Steve, could you come here for a minute please?
[Steve grudgingly comes over]
David Silver: Now someone found something and they think it might belong to you.
[He pulls out a fake key]
David Silver: Ah, a legacy key, they say it unlocks all the doors to the boys bathrooms.
[camera shows Mrs. Teasley laughing]
Brandon Walsh: Aren't you late for detention Steve?

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Withdrawal (#9.13)" (1999)
Ben: Hey, hello. So are there gonna be a lot of little Nipeys running around?
Janet Sosna: That's not Nipsey.
Ben: Because, uh, if it didn't take, the little guy's ready for another round.
Janet Sosna: Just tell me that's not Nipsey.
Ben: [Nipsey jumps up and starts humping Janet's leg] Down, down. Down, down, boy. I'm sorry, the little Nipster loves the ladies. Sorry.
Janet Sosna: Would you excuse us for just a minute, please?
[Janet grabs Steve by the arm]
Janet Sosna: Come here. A beautiful looking animal?
Steve Sanders: Nipsey's got character. Nipsey's got personality.
Janet Sosna: Nipsey has two rear ends, Steve.
Steve Sanders: You're so shallow.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: The Girl from New York City (#4.2)" (1993)
Dylan McKay: Don't sweat it, you'll be starting school in a few weeks and I hear rumors... there are girls.
Celeste Lundy: Don't tell Steve that!
Steve Sanders: You have nothing to worry about.
[cuddles her]
Dylan McKay: He's a liar!
Brandon Walsh: He's lying!
Dylan McKay: He's lying!
Brandon Walsh: I already said that!

"Beverly Hills, 90210: If I Had a Hammer (#7.11)" (1996)
Clare Arnold: [after Steve tells her he might be expelled] Why?, What did you do?
Steve Sanders: I took one of Brandon's term papers off the computer and turned it in with my name on it.
Clare Arnold: [Shocked and annoyed] What?

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Speechless (#6.6)" (1995)
David Silver: A porno!
Ray Pruit: For real? They're gonna shoot it here!
David Silver: And Brandon okayed this?
Steve Sanders: I haven't exactly told him about that part yet.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: You Better Work (#10.3)" (1999)
Janet Sosna: [about her baby's heartbeat] It was so strong, like a little hummingbird.
Donna Martin: Oh, that must have been incredible.
Janet Sosna: Just talking about it makes me want to cry.
Kelly Taylor: How is Steve?
Donna Martin: Did he freak out?
Janet Sosna: He was so excited, he could barely speak. He's going to be a great father.
[cut to the Walsh house]
Steve Sanders: I'm going to be a horrible father!
Matt Durning: Steve, you've got to relax.
Steve Sanders: Relax? Look who you're talking to! I'm Steve Sanders. I'm the original party animal. I'm an irresponsible goofball. I'm...
Dylan McKay: Well, you've had your moments. I'll give you that, Steve.
Steve Sanders: [sarcastically] Thank you very much. Ladies and gentlemen, my good friend Dylan McKay.

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Aunt Bea's Pickles (#8.25)" (1998)
Abby Malone: [At Valerie's surprise birthday] Bill, she's onto us!
Valerie Malone: Onto what?
Abby Malone: The ring.
[Cut to Kelly's face and Valerie's face]
Abby Malone: We're getting married.
Steve Sanders: Well, you guys will be sisters now.
[Val and Kelly give each other a glare]

"Beverly Hills, 90210: Love Is Blind (#10.24)" (2000)
Dylan McKay: What is that?
Steve Sanders: Oh, it's a beer hat. You know, when you're watching the game and you don't want to run back to the kitchen for a refill.
Dylan McKay: Why are you wearing it?
Steve Sanders: I was feeding Maddy.
Dylan McKay: Ale or lager?
Steve Sanders: Very funny, Dylan. But meanwhile, she gets her milk and I get to keep my hands free. I'm actually thinking of applying for a patent.

"Melrose Place: Lost & Found (#1.3)" (1992)
Steve Sanders: All I'm saying is I think you're headed for a serious heartbreak with this guy, Kelly.
David Silver: Look, I heard this thing on the love lines about guys with wounded souls who attract women who think they can heal them, only it's the women who end up wounded.
Kelly Taylor: Look, you don't understand. Jake is just going through a bad time right now.
Steve Sanders: Oh, like that guy down in the unemployment line that Jake clobbered?
Kelly Taylor: Look, he just needs me on his side, to be there for him.
David Silver: Well, I think he gets the idea. I mean, you call him five times a day, and of course, he never answers.
Kelly Taylor: David, shut up. It's none of your business.
David Silver: I'm your brother.
Kelly Taylor: Stepbrother.
David Silver: Whatever.