Arsne Lupin III
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Arsne Lupin III (Character)
from Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)
Daisuke Jigen: Which are we helping?
Lupin III: The girl!
Daisuke Jigen: Typical!

Daisuke Jigen: Did you slip into that castle?
Lupin III: It's a story more than ten years old. I tried to solve the mystery of the Goat Money. I was still a young punk...
Daisuke Jigen: So what happened?
Lupin III: They gave me hell! I ran away with my tail between my legs.

Waitress: I feel sorry for Lady Clarisse. The count's known for being a real playboy.
Lupin III: Oh, really? Just like me! Say, are you busy tonight?

Lupin III: That's Zenigata, truly the ideal of the Shoowa Period. A man incomparable for his determination to his work.

Daisuke Jigen: Hey there, Lupin. You figure a way in yet?
Lupin III: Nope. That place is incredible. A nest of lasers and radar.
Daisuke Jigen: I see. We may even need a tank.
Goemon Ishikawa: That's why you called Zenigata, right?
Daisuke Jigen: What? Is that true, Lupin?
Lupin III: Exactly! You've got good intuition.
Goemon Ishikawa: Use poison to fight poison, eh?

[about the Roman ruins]
Lupin III: This is a treasure for all mankind. Too big for my pocket, anyway.

Daisuke Jigen: [suddenly angry] Hey... you knew that that girl we met today was the daughter of the Archduke, didn't you?
Lupin III: [scornfully] Oh... you mean I didn't tell you?

[looking at Clarisse's tower]
Lupin III: Shit... that's a cruel cage they've shut you up in indeed!

Lupin III: What say we make a temporary truce, until we get out of here?
Inspector Zenigata: Fine. But I won't aid and abet crooks. I'll arrest you when we escape, I guarantee it!
Lupin III: Terrific. Let's have a proper shake on it.
[holds out his hand]
Inspector Zenigata: I won't become intimate with you!
Lupin III: Good grief...

[Lupin wakes up]
Daisuke Jigen: Lupin?
Lupin III: Jigen! How long have I been out? How many days has it been?
Daisuke Jigen: Three... three days.
Lupin III: What? The wedding is tomorrow! I've got to...!
Daisuke Jigen: Take it easy! You'll tear open your wound!
Lupin III: Food! Bring me food!
Daisuke Jigen: Food? You mean rice gruel?
Lupin III: I've lost a lot of blood. Anything will do, just bring me lots of it!

Lupin III: The first thing we'll do is escape the castle. Jigen, Goemon, cover us!
Daisuke Jigen: Leave it to us! We'll hold them off here!
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Take care of yourselves, please. You too, Mr. Jigen.
Daisuke Jigen: Wha...?
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Please come back safely. I'll never forget your kindness as long as I live.
Goemon Ishikawa: Go on, get out of here!
Lupin III: Hurry, Clarisse!
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: I'm coming!
[Clarisse and Lupin leave]
Daisuke Jigen: She called me MISTER Jigen...
Goemon Ishikawa: She's sweet.
Daisuke Jigen: Let's get started!

[while on the road, Lupin meets a fellow traveler]
Lupin III: Fujiko!
Fujiko Mine: Lupin, look at my trophies!
Lupin III: The counterfeit plates... Hey! Hey! Let's be friends!
Fujiko Mine: So long!
[drives off]
Lupin III: Hey! Hey! Hey! Wait a second!

[English dub]
Lupin III: Good ol' Zenigata, the archetypal Japanese man. Totally devoted to his work.

[first lines]
Daisuke Jigen: We got five billion in various denominations! It's a shower of bills, look out!
[a pile falls on Lupin]
Lupin III: There's a lot of them, isn't there? More! Bury me with them!
[Jigen buries Lupin with the bills as ordered, but sees Lupin look downcast]
Daisuke Jigen: What's wrong, Lupin?
Lupin III: Dump them.
Daisuke Jigen: WHAT?
Lupin III: These are fakes. Good ones, but fakes.
Daisuke Jigen: These? It can't be! We stole these from the vault of the national casino!
Lupin III: It's Goat Money.
Daisuke Jigen: Goat Money? You mean the phantom counterfeit?
Lupin III: It's even hit the national casino... Jigen! I've decided what our next job will be! First, we're gonna celebrate!
Daisuke Jigen: Damn, damn, damn you!

Daisuke Jigen: I've never heard of the Duchy of Cagliostro.
Lupin III: With a population of 3500, it's the smallest nation in the world to be a member of the U.N.
Daisuke Jigen: And that's the source of the Goat Money?
Lupin III: There's a notorious legend about it, according to those in the know. They call it "The Black Hole of the Counterfeit World."
Daisuke Jigen: Black Hole?
Lupin III: They say that no one has gotten close to it and returned to tell about it.
Daisuke Jigen: Well, I'M sure scared. I'm so scared, in fact, that I'm gonna catch some Zs...

Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Who's there?
Lupin III: A thief.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: A thief?
Lupin III: Good evening, Miss Bride.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: You! You're that man from before, aren't you?
Lupin III: [holding her ring] You left this behind.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: You risked getting caught and killed by the Count... for this?
Lupin III: Why, it's the way of thieves to risk their lives. If the job is finished, I'll leave.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: The job? I wish I had something to give you, but for now I'm a prisoner.
[holds out a trinket]
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Take this!
Lupin III: My prize is a treasure, locked away atop a high tower by an evil magician. Please allow this humble thief to steal it.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: You mean me?
Lupin III: I will reclaim the treasure locked away in the vault, and I will release in a green field the girl they are attempting to force into becoming a bride. It's all in a thief's work.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: You mean you'll set me free? Thank you. I'm very happy. But you don't understand how terrible the House of Cagliostro is. Please go away.
Lupin III: Oh, what a terrible thing. The girl believes in the power of the evil magician, but she won't try to believe in the power of the thief. If she would only believe, the thief would be able to fly through the air, and even drain a lake of its water.
[plays a few tricks and offers her some sweets]
Lupin III: This is all I can do for now.

Inspector Zenigata: These are coffins!... What is this? These are 10,000-Yen bills! Is that what all of these are?
Lupin III: These are well made! Have a look, Old Man!
Inspector Zenigata: West German 1000-Mark bills!
Lupin III: Pounds! Dollars! Francs! Roubles! Rupees! Pesos! Crowns! Lira! Oh, and they've even got Won! All the world's currencies!
Inspector Zenigata: Lupin! Is this the secret of this castle? Counterfeiting?
Lupin III: That's right. This is the source of the Goat Money, which was valued above the real thing at one time. Since the upheavals in Medieval Europe, the mysterious counterfeit currency has been there, always squirming in the shadows. It brought about the collapse of the Bourbon Dynasty, and became the source of Napoleon's funds. It also triggered the worldwide panic of 1927. The Goat Money - the Black Hole - the star on the backstage of history. All those who tried to eliminate the heart of the problem were never heard from again.
Inspector Zenigata: I've heard the stories about it, but I never dreamed that an independent nation was running it...
Lupin III: What are you gonna do, Old Man? You can't turn your back on it, now that you've seen it.
Inspector Zenigata: I know. It would shame my policeman's blood.

Lupin III: Hurry up, Old Man! We're gonna have company soon!
Inspector Zenigata: Evidence! I need evidence!

[an injured Lupin gorges himself on food]
Daisuke Jigen: Hey, stupid, don't wolf it down like that! Your stomach won't put up with it!
Lupin III: Shut up! I'll be fine in twelve hours and going like a jet!

Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Will you be going now?
Lupin III: Since all the old men have come, yes.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Take me with you. I can't be a thief yet, but I'll learn. Please, take me! I want to go with you!
Lupin III: Clarisse... don't talk stupid. Do you want to go back into the darkness again? You've come out into the sun at last. Hey... your life begins now. Don't become filthy like me. I'll tell you what - if you're ever in trouble, I'll fly straight to you no matter when, even if I'm on the other side of the world.

[last lines]
Lupin III: Oh, no! It's the Old Man again!
Inspector Zenigata: Lupin! I'll get you this time for sure!

Lupin the 3rd: The Mystery of Mamo (1978)
Arsene Lupin III: Time does us all in, Mamo! That's the way it's supposed to be.

Arsene Lupin III: I don't believe it!
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: [laughing] Serves you right, lover boy!
Arsene Lupin III: Shall we?
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Let's go, buddy!

Arsene Lupin III: Hey look who's got his game face on!
Goemon Ishikawa: An unworthy target defiles the weapon.

Daisuke Jigen: I have a sinking feeling about this.
Arsene Lupin III: You just gave me a great idea, buddy.

Arsene Lupin III: Aye yi yi she's awful.
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: That's how women are!
Arsene Lupin III: Pops!
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: So, let's get away for now!

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Ah son of a bitch!
Arsene Lupin III: Hey Pops, take it easy, exercise can be awfully dangerous at your age ya know!
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Shut up you!

Fujiko Mine: [gasps] Lupin?
Arsene Lupin III: Alas... only what's left of him.
Fujiko Mine: Hm. What exactly is that supposed to mean?
Arsene Lupin III: [walks to her with a rose] It means, my dear Fujiko, that you are a rose, and I have been pricked by the thorn of your indifference...
Fujiko Mine: "The thorn of my indifference?" Oh, brother...
Arsene Lupin III: [smells the rose] Fatally pricked, and now, almost completely wasted away, my darling.
Fujiko Mine: [chuckles] Fatally pricked, huh? You gotta love karma!
Arsene Lupin III: Yet, there is still one thing that could save me.
Fujiko Mine: What might that be?
Arsene Lupin III: If your petal-like lips would but caress my own unworthy sad ones, I might yet survive, my love.
Fujiko Mine: I would, but you know you'd just prick yourself all over again.
Arsene Lupin III: [throws the rose away] Boy, you're all thorns. And after all I went through to get you that damn Stone!

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Lupin! Lupin! Don't you know you're supposed to be dead?
Arsene Lupin III: So it seems, and that's what's been troubling me.

Arsene Lupin III: Why, Detective Zenigata! Long time no see, Old Man.
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Lupin! You're dead! Wait a second, that stiff in the coffin, that was you, right?
Arsene Lupin III: So they say. I'm a little confused myself.
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: They guaranteed that you were deader than a doornail! There wasn't a shadow of a doubt!
Arsene Lupin III: It's news to me. Frankly, I've never felt better in my life.
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Well, just hold still a second and we can fix that!
[swings a piece of wood at Lupin, who dodges, commencing a chase. By the time Zenigata catches up, Lupin has already reached his escape vehicle]
Arsene Lupin III: Hate to cut this short, but dead or alive, I think it's time I got out of here. Now don't forget to write!
[takes off]
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Ya little...! I'll be writing "REST IN PEACE" on your tombstone when I'm done with you! That lousy little thief, I knew he was still alive! HAHAHAHAHAHA! You had everyone else falling for it! Not Zenigata! This is one detective you can't shake that easily! This is one guy who will dog your every step to the very gates of Hell!

Goemon Ishikawa: This infantile need to prove your virility is humiliating to behold... and dangerous. Your lust for this creature has blinded you to her true nature.
Arsene Lupin III: [sighs] You're jealous. Both of you.
Goemon Ishikawa: I warn you - abandon these indecent cravings for the sake of your soul.
Daisuke Jigen: Save it. You'll never change him by preaching at him, Goemon.
Goemon Ishikawa: And you. What kind of friend are you, Jigen? You just encourage him. You treat it as some kind of joke. You're worse than he is.
Daisuke Jigen: Hey, I don't have to listen to this!
[a standoff between Goemon and Jigen ensues]
Goemon Ishikawa: Be careful I don't sink my blade into that hat of yours.
Daisuke Jigen: Yeah? You just try it.
Goemon Ishikawa: On second thought, I'd probably hit solid rock.

Goemon Ishikawa: Bad enough that your infantile addiction to this woman has consistently rendered you an unreliable business partner. But even now, as she conspires with others to have us killed, you continue to defend her! It shows that...
Arsene Lupin III: Please. Go on. Shows what?
Goemon Ishikawa: ...that you are a weak man of no conviction and no honour.
Daisuke Jigen: Come on. You're being a little too harsh, aren't you, Goemon?
Goemon Ishikawa: It is only natural for you to defend the actions of Lupin, especially since you are responsible for some of his sins as well.
Daisuke Jigen: What? Why, you pious jerk!
Goemon Ishikawa: What?
[a standoff between Goemon and Jigen ensues]
Goemon Ishikawa: I've always wanted to slash that ridiculous hat of yours!
Daisuke Jigen: Huh? What was that?
Arsene Lupin III: Guys, come on!
Goemon Ishikawa: It's probably hiding a bald spot as big as your ass!
Daisuke Jigen: Now that's it!
Arsene Lupin III: Hey, wait! Come on! Look! You're right, OK? I'll turn over a brand new leaf! The woman is history! Word of honor! Now shake hands, and let's move on, OK?... I said let's go, alright, guys?

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Get back here! LUPIN! What the hell are you up to?
Arsene Lupin III: Oh, I'd say... at least several hundred feet, with any luck. See ya!
[takes off]
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: What the hell? Hey! HEY!
Arsene Lupin III: [chuckles] Bye! Catch you later!

Goemon Ishikawa: A samurai warrior cannot work for a female. You accepted the commission to steal the stone for her only because you like the look of her ass. The wise man has said, "nice asses turn men into asses."
Arsene Lupin III: True... that sure was a wise guy.
Goemon Ishikawa: Your degenerate mockery is getting dangerously irritating!
Daisuke Jigen: Goemon, you ain't gonna get anywhere, so give up like I have.
Goemon Ishikawa: And do you dare to represent yourself as his friend? Willingness to amputate without ether is the test of friendship, and you have failed it!
Daisuke Jigen: God, you're such a boring schmuck!
[a standoff between Goemon and Jigen ensues]
Goemon Ishikawa: The time has come for me to slice off your hat!
Daisuke Jigen: Mm? Just try!
Goemon Ishikawa: We shall see how little brain you have underneath it!
Daisuke Jigen: Okay! Try your luck!

Fujiko Mine: [referring to Mamo's promise of eternal life] I can't believe it. It was all a lie!
Arsene Lupin III: Maybe it wasn't. I think he was researching immortality...
Daisuke Jigen: He's just another wacky old rich guy.
Arsene Lupin III: Or a clone.
Daisuke Jigen: Say what?
Arsene Lupin III: You said it yourself. The guy had the bucks to pull anything off! Technologically, it's not a big deal anymore. Just a little dab of DNA'll do ya, and theoretically, if you repeat the process over and over again, you - or, successive copies of you - could live forever.
Daisuke Jigen: Well, it certainly would explain the mystery of your dear departed doppelganger...
Arsene Lupin III: And a single strand of my hair is really all anybody would have needed to do it.
Daisuke Jigen: Anybody with a few billion dollars to play with...

Daisuke Jigen: Don't be a friggin' idiot!
Arsene Lupin III: That's just it... I'd be an idiot if I didn't go!
Daisuke Jigen: The world is full of women, Lupin!
Arsene Lupin III: It's lousy with women. But not with love.

Mamo: The process has its limitations.
Fujiko Mine: Limits?
Mamo: The transfer of the chromosomal data is never accomplished with complete fidelity. There are... anomalies, infinitesimally small in each case, but the cumulative effect of such - chaotic - pollution... can be observed after only a dozen or so generations, and what you see before you is a 130th generation facsimile. I am but a faint, distorted echo of myself.
Arsene Lupin III: But you were always distorted by your obsession.
Mamo: But is it not... everyone's obsession?

Mamo: [shows off the people he's cloned] This is the work of 10,000 years. A masterwork, if I say so myself. The leading lights of science, philosophy, art. All under one roof, and all are perfectly real!
Arsene Lupin III: Hm! So, sort of a Noah's Ark?
Mamo: Let's just say that if you've never given any thought about the world, starting now would either be a particularly good idea, or a pathetically pointless one, if you catch my drift, Mr. Lupin.
Arsene Lupin III: Uh?
Mamo: Because the time is nigh, Mr. Lupin, but sadly the guest list is... quite short. Only the elite of history's most brilliant and beautiful people!
Arsene Lupin III: Oh, uh... I'm sorry to hear that.
[laughs hysterically]
Mamo: I imagine you are.
Arsene Lupin III: No, I mean, it's just after all that work... an ugly, demented gnome like you isn't even eligible!

Mamo: Obviously, eternal life would be wasted on a vulgarian like that man there.
Arsene Lupin III: [mishears] That's not true... I eat meat!

Lupin the Third: The Gravestone of Daisuke Jigen (2014)
[from trailer]
Arsene Lupin III: Can you make it?
Daisuke Jigen: Who are you talking to? Do you think that I will be beaten? In the end, you're a business partner, not a friend.

Arsene Lupin III: [reads newspaper headlines] "Queen Marta, world-renowned singer from East Doroa, assassinated in West Doroa... non-aggression pact between East and West broken, national relations tenuous..." is West Doroa trying to make an enemy out of the world by breaking that peace treaty?
Daisuke Jigen: Who knows what they're thinking? My sympathies are for all the citizens getting caught in this divided-nation crap.
Arsene Lupin III: What's up with you?
Daisuke Jigen: It was my job to protect her, that's all...

Arsene Lupin III: That bastard! Who the hell had the balls to shoot at us?

Arsene Lupin III: Why are you after Jigen?
Yael Okuzaki: Any motives are not my own, I just take out the targets I'm given.
Arsene Lupin III: Is that so? Then you've overstepped your boundaries. A sniper should never get this close to his target. And there's no man who can beat Jigen on the draw!
Yael Okuzaki: You have made two mistakes. Firstly, you assumed that my only skill is sniping. Secondly, you two have greatly overestimated yourselves.

Arsene Lupin III: [to Okuzaki] You've shown me that you know your way around a gun, but if you ask me you're noting but a gun yourself! Without someone to hire you to pull your trigger, you're just a worthless tool that has no will!

Arsene Lupin III: [sees a naked Fujiko] That's one hell of a view!
Fujiko Mine: [covers herself] Don't look at me!

Daisuke Jigen: It isn't easy to play dead at the drop of a hat.
Arsene Lupin III: Oh, your act was very realistic. You should go on Broadway, you'd act the hell out of a corpse.
Daisuke Jigen: Spare me!

[Lupin and Jigen check out Okuzaki's hideout]
Daisuke Jigen: [checks out the wardrobe] Identical suits, really?
Arsene Lupin III: Prada... looks like you two have something in common.
Daisuke Jigen: I've got a wide range of suits, from Givenchy to Fendi!

Arsene Lupin III: He has us in his sights!
Daisuke Jigen: If we don't make it to the warehouse, we're screwed!
Arsene Lupin III: Then we'll just have to make a run for it!
Daisuke Jigen: Wait a minute! If we're not careful we'll be sitting ducks out there! And I ain't ready to go just yet!
Arsene Lupin III: Just relax. He doesn't know when we'll run! On the count of three, right?
Daisuke Jigen: This is a gamble, not a plan! It's ME he's after, you know! Screw this up, and I'll haunt you for the rest of your days!

[Fujiko is being held hostage in a club and is about to be tortured by a giant robot's drill]
Arsene Lupin III: Quite a spectacle you have going on here... too bad Lupin the Third's about to steal the show! I advise all the perverted boys and girls to leave the building in an orderly fashion!

Daisuke Jigen: How could they kill a singer from their own homeland who only desired peace?
Arsene Lupin III: No one can understand the mind of a tyrant.
Fujiko Mine: Oh, it's quite simple! Everyone loves money!

[Fujiko absconds with the Calamity File]
Daisuke Jigen: Are you ever gonna wise up? You ain't doing yourself any damn favours by keeping that woman around.
Arsene Lupin III: Don't be like that...
[holds up the FIle]
Daisuke Jigen: Jeez, I don't know why I put up with you...
Fujiko Mine: [looks through a duplicate] What the hell is this?

Arsene Lupin III: Could I ask you something? Why did you send Queen Marta's Calamity File to the media?
Daisuke Jigen: [remembers Queen Marta] I just... needed a good smoke.
Arsene Lupin III: Now that I can agree with.
[burns the File]
Daisuke Jigen: You sure about this?
Arsene Lupin III: It's not like we were ever trying to be heroes.
Daisuke Jigen: Damn straight. Just a thief...
Arsene Lupin III: ...And a gunslinger.
[both light their cigarettes with the burning file, and laugh]

"Lupin the Third: A Woman Called Fujiko Mine: Blood-Soaked Triangle (#1.5)" (2012)
Arsene Lupin III: Criminals have always been in the know before anybody else. It's been like that for centuries.

Arsene Lupin III: You're gonna pay dearly for being a grave robber, you know!
Daisuke Jigen: What, and you're not?
Arsene Lupin III: I'll be fine! I'm just a generic robber!

Arsene Lupin III: Now drop the gun! I've never known a Magnum to fire a seventh round!
Daisuke Jigen: Or a Walther to fire a tenth!
[they grapple]

Arsene Lupin III: Why would you need some deity to tell you how heavy your sins are, when you already know what you've done in this life? Besides, even if you're rewarded with rebirth, there's no guarantee your new life is gonna be a good one.
Daisuke Jigen: Doesn't matter. My future is dark either way.

Daisuke Jigen: She's the reason you're here? You came to this hellhole for her?
Arsene Lupin III: And that oughta tell you just how much she's worth: more than any other treasure I've ever seen!
Daisuke Jigen: Seems to me that all she does is go around spreading trouble!
Arsene Lupin III: If there's no trouble, it's not worth stealing! That's the code of the Lupin family!

Daisuke Jigen: Hey! We're about to be burnt to a crisp here!
Arsene Lupin III: [looks around] It should have a secret exit. Traps like this one pretty much always do, don't they? That way the builders don't have to worry about whoever commissioned it trying to seal them inside. And sure enough, there it is!
Fujiko Mine: It's just an air vent! We can't get out through there!
Arsene Lupin III: Don't get hysterical. This wall opens up. See, there's a keyhole.
Fujiko Mine: It's shaped like... No! Don't even think about it! Do you know how much work it took me to get this?
[the keyhole is peacock-shaped]

Arsene Lupin III: It's only a red-feathered fortune-bestowing peacock while it's inside the pyramid. I guess you could choose to be locked up with it, then you could be a legendary peacock too.

Arsene Lupin III: Where's the excitement in swiping something like that? Such a gaudy piece.
Fujiko Mine: [naked except for a jeweled chain] It's plenty exciting, Lupin. Nothing looks gaudy if you know the right way to wear it.

Arsene Lupin III: I thought you would enjoy a gemstone bouquet.
Fujiko Mine: They are pretty enough... although red does tend to be an overdone choice.
Arsene Lupin III: Oh, yeah? Then please, allow me...
[turns off the lights, and the roses change color]
Fujiko Mine: Oh, alexandrite... its color is dictated by the light that hits it.
Arsene Lupin III: Appears blue when seen by sunlight, and turns red in firelight. Pretty princely gift, don't you think?

Rupan sansei: Pilot Film (1969) (TV)
[first lines]
[a police inspector sits at a desk, his hand on a top secret report of Lupin, when the phone rings]
Inspector Koichi Zenigata - Cinemascope version: [on the phone] Yes, this is Police Inspector Zenigata in the Investigation Department...
Arsene Lupin III - Cinemascope version: Hello, Inspector. You sound carefree to me. Are you playing shogi by yourself? How AWFUL are you?
Inspector Koichi Zenigata - Cinemascope version: Who is this?
Arsene Lupin III - Cinemascope version: Do you mind if I play shogi with you, by phone?
Inspector Koichi Zenigata - Cinemascope version: You can't be...!
Arsene Lupin III - Cinemascope version: Lupin III!

Inspector Koichi Zenigata - Cinemascope version: [playing shogi] What's the matter with you, Lupin? There is no way you can win now!
Arsene Lupin III - Cinemascope version: No, there is no way YOU can win now!
Inspector Koichi Zenigata - Cinemascope version: Hey, wait, I did that first!
Arsene Lupin III - Cinemascope version: No, you did it WRONG! There is a fake piece in front of you!
[Zenigata checks out a piece in front of him, and sees Lupin's mark on it]
Arsene Lupin III - Cinemascope version: I replaced your piece with mine! I've won this game!
[Lupin gives a triumphant laugh; an enraged Zenigata scatters all the pieces]
Inspector Koichi Zenigata - Cinemascope version: DAMN LUPIN!
Narrator: This man is Police Inspector Zenigata, the seventh-generation descendant of Heiji Zenigata. He devotes his all in his pursuit of Lupin III.

[Lupin reaches for a glass of sake... which is shot into splinters by Jigen]
Arsene Lupin III - Cinemascope version: What's the matter, Jigen?
Jigen Daisuke: It's better if you don't drink that sake.
Narrator: Daisuke Jigen: Lupin's partner. His shooting speed is 0.3 seconds. His favourite gun is a .38 caliber Colt Executive, with double action.

Jigen Daisuke: There are many people who want to kill you.
Arsene Lupin III - Cinemascope version: Once again you saved me... but I know who did this.
Jigen Daisuke: Who...?
Arsene Lupin III - Cinemascope version: THERE!
[throws a knife behind Jigen, to cut down a curtain, and reveals... ]
Fujiko Mine: Well done, Lupin. But it wasn't me.
Narrator: Fujiko Mine: a mysterious woman who appears and disappears without a trace.

Fujiko Mine: I did not poison your drink, Lupin.
Arsene Lupin III - Cinemascope version: Then who did? Many people are out to get me...
[looks out a window and spots... ]
Arsene Lupin III - Cinemascope version: But I don't think HE would've done this...
Narrator: Goemon Ishikawa XIII: a swordmaster. After training long and hard, he discovered the techniques for quick sword moves. Inspired by his great sword, he seeks to kill Lupin III. A lonely man who has devoted his life to killing Lupin III - such a man is Goemon Ishikawa.

Akechi Kogoro - Cinemascope version: You're having a hard time arresting him, aren't you? Would you like me to try, for a change?
Inspector Koichi Zenigata - Cinemascope version: Have you got any good ideas?
Akechi Kogoro - Cinemascope version: You'll see... first, I throw this rope into that window...
[Akoro follows his words, and walks towards a car]
Akechi Kogoro - Cinemascope version: Then, I tie this rope to the bumper...
Inspector Koichi Zenigata - Cinemascope version: Aha? What's going to happen next?
[Akoro gets in the car]
Akechi Kogoro - Cinemascope version: Next, I start the car's engine...
[the car moves rapidly, with Zenigata running to keep up]
Inspector Koichi Zenigata - Cinemascope version: [panting] And then? Then what?
Arsene Lupin III - Cinemascope version: [removing his Akoro disguise] And then... THIS!

"Lupin the 3rd: The Dashing Entrance of Lupin III (#1.1)" (1977)
[last lines]
Fujiko Mine: Though the ship was built for revenge, 1.2 trillion yen has gone into the ocean. Such a waste!
Arsène Lupin III: You know what was a waste? That annoying Pops, who followed me everywhere, went down with the ship too. I feel so empty inside.
Daisuke Jigen: Flowers fall in a storm. Farewells are a part of life.
Goemon Ishikawa XIII: Rest in peace, Inspector Zenigata.
[all four have a moment of silent prayer]
Arsène Lupin III: [cries] Pops...
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: HEY! Wait, wait Lupin, wait! Lupin!
Arsène Lupin III: [pleased] We thought you'd died, but it was like Sleeping Beauty! Now our eternal chase begins again! Let's go, guys!

Arsène Lupin III: [in a note to his friends] "Hey guys, I don't know if you've heard about this or not, but the Sirloin is the first of an entirely new class of super-luxury liner. It's absolutely incredible. It makes the Queen Mary look like a minnow. Anyway, she's leaving for Lisbon on the 3rd for her maiden round-the-world voyage, and since it sounded like a great excuse for a reunion, I took the liberty of booking passage for all of us. So, don't have any regrets, just be there. Lupin."

[at dinner]
Arsène Lupin III, Daisuke Jigen, Goemon Ishikawa XIII, Fujiko Mine: Cheers!
Arsène Lupin III: Sorry I'm late, I had a minor matter to attend to.
Daisuke Jigen: Tell me about it, I'm guessing you had to lift a Van Gogh or even two to pay for all of our tickets!
Arsène Lupin III: Huh?
Daisuke Jigen: Hey, whatever! Any guy who's willing to shell out this kind of cash to treat his old friends to a good time is aces with me!
Arsène Lupin III: Hey, wait a minute, what do you mean? Whoa, back up! What do you mean, treat you?
[Confused, Jigen, Goemon and Fujiko show Lupin the letters he sent them]
Arsène Lupin III: Huh?... Well, I hate to break it to you guys, but I got one too!
[takes out a letter and gives it to Fujiko]
Fujiko Mine: [reading the letter] "My darling Lupin, you've been in my dreams every night for five long years. Oh, darling, I can't bear being apart from you any longer, I simply have to see you immediately. Rendezvous with me at the Sirloin liner, and we shall be together forever. Your love, Fujiko." Oh, please! That doesn't sound anything like me!
Arsène Lupin III: Or smell like you!
[sniffs the letter]
Fujiko Mine: What's that?
Arsène Lupin III: There's not even a trace of Chanel No 5. Trust me, I nearly stuck the whole thing up my nose.
Daisuke Jigen: So this is just a steaming pile of...
Goemon Ishikawa XIII: Very bad karma.
Arsène Lupin III: Exactly, my friends! We've all fallen into someone's very ingenious trap!
Daisuke Jigen: Not you, though! You figured it out for a trap, Lupin, and you waltzed right into it anyway! What the hell's up with that?
Arsène Lupin III: I don't know about it, Jigen, but I like to know who my enemies are, and the sooner they show their hand the sooner I can show them mine!
Goemon Ishikawa XIII: We must remain as vigilant as the owl.
Arsène Lupin III: Exactly...

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: [roar of triumph] I've got you cornered at last!
[runs towards Lupin's table]
Arsène Lupin III: [excited, jumps up and kisses Zenigata] Zenigata! At last! Pops, it's been so long! Oh, I've missed you so much!
[sits down]
Arsène Lupin III: Hey, I heard you were transferred to some pot-of-crap hole since the last time we slipped through your fingers! Pretty slow work for a fine investigative mind like yours, but I'm sure you didn't let the tedium get to you...
[Lupin imagines Zenigata going mad from boredom]
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: Oh, yeah? Well, here these are YOUR transfer papers, wise guy, straight from maximum security! Read it and weep!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: Hold on now! Are you really Lupin?
Arsène Lupin III: That's what my mother called me!

Arsène Lupin III: Sorry to disappoint you, but you don't ave any authority to arrest me on this ship, Inspector Zenigata!
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: Are you blind? I have a warrant right here!
[brandishes the warrant]
Arsène Lupin III: I know, and it's a lovely one too, except for one little thing: There's no watermark. And as you know, without a watermark it's not considered legal in a court of law!
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: [examines the warrant] Huh?... It's a forgery! How in the world could that have happened?
Arsène Lupin III: Well, what do you know? Looks like Pops here has been lured into the same exact trap as the rest of us!
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: [bursting into tears] No no no no no! It's not fair! It's just not fair!
Arsène Lupin III: Hey, take it easy Pops, there's not nuch any of us can do right now but hang around and wait. Have a drink, take a load off!
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: Huh?... Why should I, huh?
Arsène Lupin III: Let's shake on it, huh?
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: You're nuts! Shake on what?
Arsène Lupin III: Our temporary inter-alliance agreement! Here's the deal, listen up: Right now we join forces to defeat our mutual enemies, and after that I'm all yours! What do you say, Pops? Do we partner up or not?
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: Hmmm... well, all right. But how the heck are we supposed to smoke out these bad guys?
Arsène Lupin III: By just sitting back, enjoying the cruise and playing dumb. Sooner or later they're bound to make their move and then we'll see what's what! So what do you say, Old Man, are you in or are you out?
[Zenigata considers this proposal]
Arsène Lupin III: Deal? Come on, we'll seal it, the old-fashioned way!
[spits on his palm and hlds it out. aAfter a pause, Zenigata brusquely shakes it]

"Lupin the 3rd: A Bouquet of Bills Blossom in Rio's Sunset (#1.2)" (1977)
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: I'm not giving up! I'll chase you to hell and back!
Arsène Lupin III: We'll go broke if he keeps his mind on us...

[changing behind a curtain]
Arsène Lupin III: Sorry, but if you want to see more you'll have to pay in candy and cigarettes like everyone else!

Lupin: [to security camera] Sorry, but if you wanna see me naked, you're just going to have to offer candy and cigarettes like everyone else!

Fujiko Mine: Got a backup-backup plan, Lupin?
Lupin: Oh, sure! Just turn around while I pull it out of the usual place!

[Lupin, Jigen, and Goemon have been tapping Morse Code to each other from their jail cells]
Jail Security Guard: Hey, knock it off with that tapping in there! You're driving us crazy!
Lupin: Oh, sorry. But you're not officially crazy until you go
[makes funny face]

Lupin III: The Pursuit of Harimao's Treasure (1995) (TV)
Arsene Lupin III: [sees the monkey statue on a ramen pot] Pops, what... what is that?
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: This is my fancy ramen noodle holder! Nice, huh?
[Lupin makes a grab for the statue]
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: NO YOU DON'T! Keep your hands off it!
Arsene Lupin III: [whines] But I want it...

Arsene Lupin III: [bluffing about the statue] It's one of my old good-luck charms...
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: What is it?
Arsene Lupin III: Well, it belongs to my mother's uncle's second wife's father...
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Like I believe THAT!
Arsene Lupin III: Ah, you left me no choice...
[removes his cuffs]

Goering: They say the heart stops beating before you hit the ground. Let me KNOW!
[throws Lupin out a window, Lupin snags his necktie with a grappling hook]
Arsene Lupin III: Find out FOR YOURSELF!
[pulls out Goering]

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: How long you been riding the Lupin Express?
Diana: Excuse me, but I've never seen this man before today!
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Come on, Lupin, what does this woman have to do with this?
Arsene Lupin III: Okay, Pops, here's the deal: we've been dating each other for about six months. From the start, it was kismet. She may be feisty, and a bit on the hairy side, but...
Diana: [slaps Lupin] Who are you calling hairy?
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Who cares? It's obvious that the two of you are in this TOGETHER! I'm taking the two of you to Paris so they can throw the book at you!
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYMORE!

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Lupin the Third, you're under arrest!
[handcuffs Goering]
Arsene Lupin III: I'm hurt! How could you possibly think that guy was me?
Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Sorry, force of habit!

Lupin III: Burning Memory - Tokyo Crisis (1998)
[car chase]
Maria: [driving] If I speed, you might get suspended again!
Inspector Zenigata: [pops his head out the passenger's seat] Whatever! My only goal is to put Lupin the Third behind bars!
Lupin III: Good old Pops...

[Zenigata passes by himself]
Inspector Zenigata: Hey there, Zenigata... Lupin, is that you?
Lupin III: Yo, Pops! Fancy meeting you here!

Lupin III: Why don't you team up with me?
Maria: With a thief?
Lupin III: Every day is an exciting roller-coaster ride!
Maria: It's tempting...
Inspector Zenigata: Your roller-coaster leads right into jail!

Arsene Lupin III: If you don't watch out, someone might end up cloning you! I don't want that happening to me! I'm an original!

"Lupin the 3rd: A Present for the President (#1.12)" (1977)
[Zenigata receives a letter]
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: What? A letter? Nice! I wonder if it's from Mother...
[checks the sender's name]
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: LUPIN?
[tears the envelope and reads the letter inside]
Arsène Lupin III: "Hey, Pops, you know that famous bottle of wine that's going to Washington for the President? Well, it's not. Catch you later, Lupin. P.S. Don't you EVER take that coat off?"
[Zenigata storms around the room in a rage]
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: That no-good thief's just taunting me! Damn you!
[hurls the bread into a car, wrecking it]

[down in a cellar]
Fujiko Mine: This would be real homey if I were a spider or a corpse...
Arsène Lupin III: Actually, it's perfect for wine storage! You see, the coolness and the dark allow it to age without spoiling.
Goemon Ishikawa XIII: So this must be the place where Dick Clark lived...

Daisuke Jigen: Lupin, let's just grab this bottle and vamoose, okay?
Arsène Lupin III: Sure, it's, uh, right over there.
[points to a room full of wine bottles]
Daisuke Jigen: Uh, could you be just a little bit more specific?
Fujiko Mine: How in the world are we ever going to find it?
Arsène Lupin III: Well, uh, I'm pretty certain the bottle's green.
[all the bottles are green]
Daisuke Jigen: [sarcastic] Well, that's a lot of help.

[note to Zenigata]
Arsène Lupin III: "Dear Inspector: In recognition of your nearly successful efforts, here's some really cheap crap. HA!"

"Lupin the 3rd: Steal File M123 (#1.10)" (1977)
[after a reporter is found dead at the party]
Arsène Lupin III: Look at these guys. I don't know who's colder, them or that body they just took away.
Fujiko Mine: Think about it. A man drops dead at a party, the host assures everyone to just resume dancing, and they do.

Arsène Lupin III: I know, I know. I never should've accepted that stupid invitation to begin with.
Daisuke Jigen: It's frigging careless, Lupin. How many times do we have to frigging warn yah? But you had to impress frigging Fujiko, and isn't that frigging ironic now?
Arsène Lupin III: You're right. I'm a frigging idiot. I was thinking with my frigging pants and now I'm in big frigging trouble!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: Ha! Lupin, this is great! Never thought I'd show up, huh? Officer, arrest this man immediately!
Arsène Lupin III: [disguise] Hey! I'm Zenigata! You're an impostor!
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: You liar! I'm the only inspector Zenigata in this room, dammit! I'm telling you that guy there is Lupin the Third!

"Lupin the 3rd: The Great Caribbean Adventure (#1.14)" (1978)
Arsène Lupin III: You're not fooling me! I saw "The Wizard of Oz" 100 times!

Arsène Lupin III: I don't suppose there was anything in that local legend about a secret ski lift to the top of this thing, was there?

Daisuke Jigen: There's got to be something we haven't thought of. I mean, it's not impossible. Whoever pinched that ruby figured it out.
Arsène Lupin III: Sure, that's great, rub it in! Not only is it a personal failure, it's also a professional humiliation!

"Lupin the 3rd: What Do You Think of Ukiyoe Blues? (#1.9)" (1977)
[at the museum]
Arsène Lupin III: Well, they sure tightened up the security.
Goemon Ishikawa XIII: No surprise there.
Arsène Lupin III: It's okay. Tomorrow the whole exhibit hits the road again. That's even better in a way, right?
Daisuke Jigen: [appears] Sounds like fun.
Arsène Lupin III: You're in? What turned you into a sentimental fool all of a sudden?
Daisuke Jigen: Nothing. I just figured the sooner we get this charity gig over with, the sooner we can get back to being selfish jerks again.

[the trio notice that the transmitter on the painting is still active despite the painting being buried with Sharaku]
Daisuke Jigen: Hey, what the hell's going on? Weren't you supposed to take the transmitter off the real one?
Arsène Lupin III: I guess I must've forgot. But...
Daisuke Jigen: So that means Goemon's ancestor is walking around on its own.
Arsène Lupin III, Goemon Ishikawa XIII: Huh?

[after tricking Fujiko]
Daisuke Jigen: You know, I still say that broad ain't nothing but trouble. But little moments like these kinda make it all worth while somehow.
Arsène Lupin III: [removes his disguise] I just paid a very high price for this, I have a feeling. But you know, I gotta admit it, fellas, it sure does feel good.

"Lupin the 3rd: I'll Tell You How to Transport Gold Bullion (#1.5)" (1977)
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: Nowhere to run, Lupin! It's the end of the line!
Arsène Lupin III: You really need to think about getting a life, Pops.
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: Grr! Tell you what, Lupin, I'll get a life... as soon as you get life behind bars!

Fujiko Mine: [about the golden van] Ooh, I just love the look of it, but I'm afraid a solid gold van might draw attention.
Arsène Lupin III: Oh, no! Tell me we don't have to paint it now!
Fujiko Mine: Only the gold part.

Lupin: I should have listened to my dear old grandfather. He always used to say, "Stick to real women, sonny!"
Zenigata: Damn good advice.
Lupin: You know, another one of his favorite sayings was...
[steps on Zenigata's toes]
Lupin: "Watch your step!"

"Lupin the 3rd: Black Panther (#1.18)" (1978)
[spying on Conaiseau]
Daisuke Jigen: It sounds like they're getting ready to hit the road. Yeah, you called it, Lupin.
Arsène Lupin III: I still can't figure it, though. This guy's nuts. At least with Pops, it's all, you know, pretty damn... predictable.
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: [suddenly appears] Well, well!
Arsène Lupin III: Usually, anyway!

[chased by a mob of angry women]
Conaiseau: That's no way to charm a lady!
Arsène Lupin III: Oh, like I'm gonna take lessons from you!

Daisuke Jigen: [looking through binoculars] Hang on a second. On that island up ahead, there's a sign. It looks like it says something like "Nature Camp."
Arsène Lupin III: Nature what? Are you sure you got that right?
Daisuke Jigen: [shocked] You're not gonna believe this... holy crap!
Arsène Lupin III: What is it? What's the matter?
Daisuke Jigen: Well, it's... you gotta see this.
[Lupin looks for himself]
Arsène Lupin III: Wha-wha-wowow! Now THAT's what I call a Nature Camp! Damn, I love my work! Wha-wha-hahaha-wowow! WE'RE GONNA SEE NAKED LADIES!

"Lupin the 3rd: Lupin Becomes a Bride (#2.16)" (1978)
[after a long chase from Onabes]
Arsène Lupin III: Okay, you win! I give up! But pre-marital sex is out of the question!

Onabes: As they say in my country, "dsjd, dspj! ndsfilajanpw!"
Arsène Lupin III: What does that mean?
Onabes: It means: "I want you, I must have you! Let me take you and start a family!"
[a flabbergasted Lupin gets tackled by Onabes]
Onabes: I absolutely refuse to let you off this liner unless you agree to marry me!
Arsène Lupin III: WHAT? That's impossible!
[gets kissed; he flips Onabes over in a judo grip]
Arsène Lupin III: Snap out of it!
Onabes: Oh yeah baby, treat me like a hamburger!
[Lupin covers his mouth and flees]

"Lupin the Third: A Woman Called Fujiko Mine: Vissi d'arte, vissi d'amore (#1.4)" (2012)
Arsene Lupin III: Oh, Zenigata, wherefore art thou, Zenigata?

Inspector Zenigata: [chases Lupin] I carry the Zenigata family name, and you the name of a thief! Blood will always tell!
Arsene Lupin III: It's blood you want, eh?
[gets shot and bleeds... then sprays Zenigata]
Inspector Zenigata: I can't see!
Arsene Lupin III: A lovely red sauce, mixed with a touch of chili powder! Here, I'll give you some extra on the house!

"Lupin the 3rd: The Rose and the Pistol (#1.26)" (1978)
Arsène Lupin III: [fiddling with thumbcuffs on his hand] I don't dare set foot outside wearing this fleschuganah thing on my pinkie! I mean, what if it's some weird code that says I wanna get spanked by a skinhead or something?

Goemon Ishikawa XIII: You promised me that there would be a Japanese restaurant here in Barcelona!
Arsène Lupin III: Look, I apologize...!
Goemon Ishikawa XIII: An empty apology, for an empty stomach!
Arsène Lupin III: Goemon, I said I'd make it up to you! Now are you coming or not?
[Goemon sits still while his belly rumbles]
Arsène Lupin III: I'll take that as a no...

"Lupin the Third: A Woman Called Fujiko Mine: Dying Day (#1.8)" (2012)
Daisuke Jigen: Why did you save me?
Lupin III: You were being so clumsy in front of me... I didn't plan on doing so, but... maybe, because we almost ended up going to hell together?
Daisuke Jigen: I don't like it.
Lupin III: Don't say that. Eat up! It's potato gnocchi with a special bologna ragu sauce!

Lupin III: This once-unknown fortune teller suddenly became famous in the underworld three years ago.
Daisuke Jigen: A fortune teller who could predict your dying day would be popular indeed.
Lupin III: But that's not the only reason for his fame. All of his clients were people I had robbed. And there's one other interesting person...
Daisuke Jigen: That woman is in this, too?... I don't like it. But I don't want to be indebted to you.

"Lupin III: The False Play (#1.2)" (2015)
Arsene Lupin III: MI6 has such good intelligence, they know what color underwear you wear!
Jigen, Daisuke: I wouldn't call that useful intel.
Arsene Lupin III: Used in the right way, even the most insignificant intel can be a goldmine.

Arsene Lupin III: Tell me something, Brozzi. Why do you still want to play after all this?
Mauro Brozzi: It's simple: I'm not doing it for myself. I feel I owe this team, they mean everything to me. I can't miss the next match.
Arsene Lupin III: What?
Mauro Brozzi: The owner and coach signed me on when I was a nobody, they had faith in me. It's the last chance I've got to show my gratitude.
Arsene Lupin III: Through winning the league tournament.
Mauro Brozzi: We're so close, we can' lose.
Arsene Lupin III: It sounds like a real point of honor. But will you be able to play?
Mauro Brozzi: I can't tell you that for sure. But as long as there are goals to score, I sure won't back down.
Arsene Lupin III: Good answer.

"Lupin the 3rd: The Woman the Old Man Fell in Love With (#3.18)" (1979)
[Lupin finds Zenigata in his bedroom]
Arsène Lupin III: Contrary to what you might have heard, my bed is not a drive-through!

Arsène Lupin III: Whoa! Get a load of this! It's Pops, and he's being chased by somebody. And there's a girl with him, and she's hot! What the hell is wrong with this picture?
Daisuke Jigen: Well, if you're right, it's the end of the frigging world!

"Lupin III: The Harmony of the World: Part 2 (#1.27)" (2015)
Leonardo Da Vinci: [dying] So I'm just an imitation, born in the wrong era...
Arsene Lupin III: No, you are the real Leonardo Da Vinci.
Leonardo Da Vinci: But no one will ever know...
Arsene Lupin III: [taps his head] I'll know, and remember you.

Rebecca Rossellini: Lupin... Let me keep your name.
Arsene Lupin III: No, I'm not interested in being connected to you in the tabloids.
Rebecca Rossellini: This isn't for the tabloids! I want you to keep your eye on me, to see me become a great woman.
Arsene Lupin III: You're already a great woman.
Rebecca Rossellini: No. I need to improve, to become someone you can't resist.
Arsene Lupin III: You've got me there. Rebecca, don't be too hard on yourself, okay?

"Lupin the 3rd: The Mad Fantoma Mark III (#3.2)" (1978)
Arsène Lupin III: How dare you think of using my ruby and Fujiko for something like that!

"Lupin the 3rd: You're a Cat, I'm a Dried Tuna (#4.3)" (1979)
Arsène Lupin III: Why would I steal a pencil-eating cat?

"Lupin III: The Marriage of Lupin III (#1.1)" (2015)
Arsene Lupin III: If Italy is the country of love, then all of love is in my hands!

"Rupan sansei: The Coming of Goemon the Thirteenth (#1.5)" (1971)
Ishikawa Goemon XIII: I plan on killing a man with my one and only beloved sword.
Arsène Lupin III: Really? And who is this man?
Ishikawa Goemon XIII: Lupin the Third.
Arsène Lupin III: Um... do you know what Lupin looks like?
Ishikawa Goemon XIII: Unfortunately, I have no idea.

"Lupin the 3rd: The Great San Francisco Chase (#1.13)" (1977)
Arsène Lupin III: I'm always choosing! Sex and money, and money and sex! I'm only human!

"Lupin the 3rd: Find Princess Kaguya's Treasure (#2.15)" (1978)
[an insomniac Fujiko bangs on Lupin's door in the middle of the night]
Arsène Lupin III: Oh man, when the hell's this potion ever gonna wear off?... I'm too tired to appreciate the irony...
[goes back to sleep]

"Rupan sansei: Is Lupin Burning... ?! (#1.1)" (1971)
Fujiko Mine: [her clothes torn] You should've come sooner!
Arsène Lupin III: On the contrary, I think I should've come a little later.

Lupin the Third: The Legend of Twilight Gemini (1996) (TV)
Inspector Zenigata: Well, now I gotcha, Lupin! You're under arrest!
Arsène Lupin III: Pops, you might want to focus more on not getting shot!

"Lupin the 3rd: The Venice Superexpress (#1.8)" (1977)
Fujiko Mine: Lupin, it's a pleasure to see you. I assume you have something to share with all of us.
Arsène Lupin III: Yep. Here it is.
[hands Fujiko a small bag]
Fujiko Mine: What? This is all of it?
Daisuke Jigen: I don't get it. You're saying that's all there was? I mean, that won't even cover the truck rental!
Arsène Lupin III: Martino went nuts and I just, I don't know, you know, something hit me...
Daisuke Jigen: You mean like on the head?
Fujiko Mine: Well, I think he means somewhere else.
Goemon Ishikawa XIII: Pity never did a man any good.

"Lupin the 3rd: Is the Leaning Tower of Pisa Standing (#1.6)" (1977)
Arsène Lupin III: Hey Pops, why don't you straighten out the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

Lupin III: Voyage to Danger (1993) (TV)
Inspector Zenigata: [takes a shot of booze] This was delivered to me this morning...
[holds out a notice]
Arsene Lupin III: [reads] "Detective Zenigata: today, July 23, as of tweve o'clock noon, you are hereby dismissed as Chief Investigating Officer of the Lupin Task Force." Dismissed?
Inspector Zenigata: That's right! From this moment on, I'm not responsible for the arrest of you and your little cronies!
[bursts into tears]
Inspector Zenigata: Oh, my life is falling apart! But after chasing you for twenty years and not having a single conviction, how can I blame them?... What hurts the most, is that some cocky young hotshot is gonna come in guns blazing and do what I never could!
Arsene Lupin III: [takes a seat] I'll drink with ya, Pops. Let's toast to your newfound freedom.
Inspector Zenigata: MORON! Are you even listening to me? I'm depressed!

"Lupin the 3rd: Versailles Burned with Love (#3.50)" (1979)
Arsène Lupin III: Love is a mystery, isn't it?

"Lupin the 3rd: Lupin Laughs While the Alarm Bell Rings (#2.22)" (1978)
[driving down the road]
Arsène Lupin III: [listening to rock] Grooving down the road, top down, cranking the good stuff: This is the reason God invented America!
Daisuke Jigen: Oh, please! What are you, fourteen?
Arsène Lupin III: Hey, I remember how we used to hit the clubs together every other night. What the hell happened, Jigen?
Daisuke Jigen: Yeah, I used to suck my thumb too. Classical music is the ONLY stuff!
[switches the radio to classical music, to Lupin's dismay; Goemon grabs the radio from Jigen]
Daisuke Jigen: Huh? What're you... hey!
Goemon Ishikawa XIII: Enka's the stuff! Listen to this...
[switches the radio to Japanese blues, to BOTH Lupin and Jigen's dismay]

Lupin III: Missed by a Dollar (2000) (TV)
Cynthia: You're an awful man.
Arsene Lupin III: I've always wanted to be told that.

"Lupin III: The Left Hand of the Magician (#1.5)" (2015)
Arsene Lupin III: Was it a real romance with him, or was it just a swindle?
Fujiko Mine: [smiles] Why should I tell you?

Rupan sansei: Dead or Alive (1996)
[fighting off Nanomachine's army of sentient blade-wielding tendrils]
Daisuke Jigen: Now would be a good time to leave!
Arsene Lupin III: What, you're afraid of a couple of pointy sticks? No, I'm staying here, Jigen!
[Lupin gets his buttocks slashed, he screams and bolts]

"Lupin the 3rd: Classic Thieves and Mynah Birds (#3.19)" (1979)
Arsène Lupin III: Hey, Pops! Nice of you to drop by. What are you in for?
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: Good gravy! Lupin, you're actually locked up!
Arsène Lupin III: Very good. So tell me, what eventually gave it away? Was it my handsome face?
Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: Handsome? That monkey face of yours would even scare away other monkeys, you idiot!

"Lupin the 3rd: A Pretty Woman Has Venom (#2.23)" (1978)
Arsène Lupin III: Don't make me kill you. That wouldn't make either of us happy.

"Rupan sansei: Killer Sings the Blues (#1.9)" (1971)
Arsène Lupin III: [to Poon] I'm taking her with me!
[carries Fujiko]

"Lupin III: Kidnapped (#1.8)" (2015)
Arsene Lupin III: Listen, I'm just a thief who stole a kidnappers' car!

"Lupin the 3rd: Lupin Dies Twice (#2.6)" (1978)
[Lupin's epitaph]
Arsène Lupin III: "Here Lies Lupin, Fujiko-less / At least if she visits, he can look up her dress."

Lupin the 3rd: Treasure of the Sorcerer King (2002) (VG)
Arsene Lupin the 3rd: I've got my own magic stick, I've got no need for hand-me-downs!

"Lupin the 3rd: I Can Hear Nessie's Song (#1.4)" (1977)
Arsène Lupin III: Help! I'm being eaten by a quaint folk legend!

"Lupin the 3rd: Face the Midnight Sun and Fire (#2.5)" (1978)
[Lupin has successfully managed to get the two feuding sisters in the same room together naked]
Arsène Lupin III: Illuminating tattoos!... Thanks a lot!
[GTFO as fast as possible]