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Quotes for
Manuel (Character)
from "Fawlty Towers" (1975)

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"Fawlty Towers: Communication Problems (#2.1)" (1979)
Manuel: [after Manuel loses Basil's money by "knowing nothing"] See, I know nothing!
Basil Fawlty: I'm gonna sell you to a vivisectionist!

Mrs. Richards: Are you the manager?
Basil Fawlty: I am the owner, madam.
Mrs. Richards: What?
Basil Fawlty: I am the owner.
Mrs. Richards: I want to speak to the manager.
Basil Fawlty: I am the manager, too.
Mrs. Richards: What?
Basil Fawlty: I am the manager as well.
Manuel: Manajer, he manajer.
[Basil smacks him]
Mrs. Richards: Oh, you're Watt!
Basil Fawlty: I'm the manager!
Mrs. Richards: What?
Basil Fawlty: I'm the manager!
Mrs. Richards: Yes, I know, you've just told me. What's the matter with you?

Mrs. Richards: [to Polly, acidly] Isn't there anyone else who could help me? Really! This is the most appalling service I've ever...
Polly: What a good idea. Manuel? Could you lend Mrs. Richards your assistance in connection with her reservation?
[Manuel looks around, confused]
Mrs. Richards: [to Manuel] Now, I reserved a very quiet room with a bath and a sea view. I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, so please make sure I have it.
Manuel: Que?
Mrs. Richards: What?
Manuel: Que?
Mrs. Richards: Kay?
Manuel: Si.
Mrs. Richards: Sea?
[Manuel nods]
Mrs. Richards: Kay, sea? Kay sea? What are you trying to say?
Manuel: No. No, no, no. Que... what.
Mrs. Richards: Kay Watt?
Manuel: Si, que: what.
Mrs. Richards: C.K. Watt?
Manuel: Yes!
Mrs. Richards: Who is C. K. Watt?
Manuel: Que?
Mrs. Richards: Is he the manager, Mr. Watt?
Manuel: Oh, manajer!
Mrs. Richards: He is?
Manuel: Ah, Mister Fawlty!
Mrs. Richards: What?
Manuel: Fawlty!

Mrs. Richards: What are you talking about, you silly little man?
Mrs. Richards: [to Polly] What is going on here? I ask him for my room and he tells me the manager is a Mr. Watt, aged forty.
Manuel: No, no, no, no. FAWLTY!
Mrs. Richards: He's faulty? What's wrong with him?
Polly: It's all right, Mrs. Richards. He's from Barcelona.
Mrs. Richards: The manager's from Barcelona?
Manuel: No, no, no, he's from-a Swanage.
Polly: And you're in 22.
Mrs. Richards: What?
Polly: You're in Room 22. Manuel, take these cases up to 22, will you?

Mrs. Richards: Now, listen to me. I'm not satisfied, but I've decided to stay here; however, I shall expect a reduction.
Basil Fawlty: Why? Because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment?
Mrs. Richards: No, because the room is cold, the bath is too small, the view is invisible, and the radio doesn't work.
Basil Fawlty: No, the radio works. You don't.
Mrs. Richards: What?
Basil Fawlty: [crossing over to it] I'll see if I can't fix it, you scabby old bat!
[He turns it on, loudly; it works fine; Manuel plugs his ears]
Basil Fawlty: I think we got something then!
Mrs. Richards: What?
Basil Fawlty: [loudly] I think we got something then!
Mrs. Richards: [looking at Manuel with his fingers in his ears] What ARE you doing?
Manuel: Que?
Basil Fawlty: [after smacking Manuel's head] Madam, don't think me rude, but, may I ask, do you by any chance have a hearing aid?
Mrs. Richards: A what?
Basil Fawlty: A HEARING AID!
Mrs. Richards: Yes, I do have a hearing aid.
Basil Fawlty: Would you like me to get it mended?
Mrs. Richards: Mended? It's working perfectly all right.
Basil Fawlty: No, it isn't.
Mrs. Richards: I haven't got it turned on at the moment.
Basil Fawlty: Why not?
Mrs. Richards: The battery runs down.

Manuel: Ah, your horse. It win! It win!
Basil Fawlty: [wanting him to keep quiet about his gambling venture] Shhh-shh-shh, Manuel. You - know - nothing.
Manuel: You ALWAYS say, Mr. Fawlty, but I learn.
Basil Fawlty: What?
Manuel: I learn. I learn.
Basil Fawlty: No-no-no-no-no.
Manuel: I get better.
Basil Fawlty: No-no. No-no, you don't understand.
Manuel: I do.
Basil Fawlty: No, you don't.
Manuel: Hey, I do understand that!

Basil Fawlty: Shhh-shh-shh-shh-shh. You know nothing... about... the horse.
Manuel: [parroting] I know "nothing... about... the horse."
Basil Fawlty: Yes.
Manuel: Ah. Which horse?
Basil Fawlty: What?
Manuel: Which horse I know nothing?
Basil Fawlty: My horse, nitwit!
Manuel: Your horse - Nitwit.
Basil Fawlty: No-no-no. Dragonfly.
Manuel: It won!
Basil Fawlty: Yes, I know!
Manuel: I know it won, too!
Basil Fawlty: What?
Manuel: I put money on for you. You give me money; I go to betting shop.
Basil Fawlty: Yes, I know, I know, I know.
Manuel: Then why you say I know nothing?
Basil Fawlty: [desperately] Look, look, look, you know the horse?
Manuel: Uh, Nitwit or Dragonfly?
Basil Fawlty: Dragonfly! There isn't a horse called Nit... YOU'RE the Nitwit!
Manuel: What is Witnit?
Basil Fawlty: It doesn't matter. Look, it doesn't matter. Oh, I can spend the rest of my life having this conversation. Now, please, please, try to understand before one of us dies.
Manuel: I try.
Basil Fawlty: You're going to forget everything you know about Nitwit.
Manuel: No, no. Dragonfly.
Basil Fawlty: Dragonfly!

Manuel: I know nothing.

"Fawlty Towers: The Builders (#1.2)" (1975)
Manuel: [to the workman, two of whom are clean-shaven] Please, which one is man with beard?

Manuel: Ah... Hello, men!
Lurphy - workman #1: Good day, now.
Manuel: Eh, you are men!
Lurphy - workman #1: You... What?
Manuel: You're men!
Lurphy - workman #1: Are you tryin' to be funny?
Manuel: Huh?
Lurphy - workman #1: I said, are you tryin' to be funny?
Kerr - workman #3: Not here, sport, not here.
Manuel: You are men with Orelly!
Jones - workman #2: What?
Manuel: You Orelly men!
Lurphy - workman #1: What does that mean?
Manuel: You Orelly!
Lurphy - workman #1: [angry] You watch it!
Manuel: Where Orelly?
Jones - workman #2: What's he goin' on about?
Kerr - workman #3: He means O'Reilly.
Lurphy - workman #1: Wha...! Oh, yes! Dat's right, yeah. We are "Orelly men."
Lurphy - workman #1: [to the other workmen under his breath] Thick as a plank.

Manuel: [to garden gnome] No room 16. No room 16. No, no pay, no Room 16!

Basil Fawlty: Now while we're away - gone - clean the windows.
[Manuel looks very confused]
Basil Fawlty: Oh, look... Cuando nosotoros somos... away. What's "away" in Spanish?
Manuel: Eh...?
Basil Fawlty: You know, away, AWAY!
Manuel: Oh, si si!
Basil Fawlty: [grabbing Manuel before he scurries away] No, not you! While we're away, CLEAN the windows!
Manuel: Green?
Basil Fawlty: No, no, look. Clean...
[Pulls handkerchief from pocket, puts it in Manuels hand and makes a cleaning motion]
Basil Fawlty: ...the windows! Clean...
Manuel: [still not comprehending but parroting Basil] ... clean... clean...
Basil Fawlty: ...the windows.
[exasperated, Basil picks up Manuel and carries him under his arm into the dining room]
Manuel: AHH!
Major Gowen: [as the two pass] Morning, Fawlty!
Basil Fawlty: [carrying Manuel] Morning Major!
Major Gowen: [setting Manuel down and forcing him to clean the windows] The windows, see? Look. Clean the windows!
Manuel: [finally getting it] Si! Comprendo, comprendo.

"Fawlty Towers: The Germans (#1.6)" (1975)
Manuel: [practicing his English while cleaning behind and beneath the front desk] How are you, sir? You see, I speak English well. I learn it from a book... Hello... I am English... Helloooo...
[Manuel continues as Major walks into the room]
Manuel: [unseen] How are you, sir?... I can speak English.
[Major looks at the moose head on the desk, thinking it's talking to him, and turns away astonished]
Manuel: [popping up for a moment and spotting the major] Ah, hello, Major. How are you today?
[Manuel returns beneath the front desk]
Major Gowen: [Major turns to look nervously at the moose head, not spotting Manuel] Well, buh, buh, buh, I-I-I'm fine, thank you.
Manuel: [back to reciting is lessons] Is a beautiful day today.
Major Gowen: Is it? Oh-oh-oh, yes, yes, I suppose it is.
Manuel: Yes, I can speak English... I learned it from a book.
Major Gowen: Did you? Did you really?

Manuel: Ohh, he hit me on the head.
Major Gowen: No! You hit HIM on the head. You naughty moose!
German Guest: How ever did they win?

Basil Fawlty: Look, uh, go and get me a hammer.
Manuel: Uh, como?
Basil Fawlty: Hammer.
Manuel: Hammer, oh... Oh, hamma sandwich!
Basil Fawlty: Oh, do I have to go through this every time? Look, a HAMMER.
Manuel: My hamster?
Basil Fawlty: No, not your hamster. How could I knock a nail in with your hamster? Well... I could try, no, it doesn't... No, I'll get it. You come here and tidy. You know - tidy?
Manuel: Oh, tidy. Si.
Basil Fawlty: [walking away] Yes, I'll get hkhammer and hkhit you on the hkhead with it hkhard.

"Fawlty Towers: Basil the Rat (#2.6)" (1979)
[Manuel wants to keep his pet rat]
Manuel: [to Sybil] Mrs. Fawlty, please understand: If he go, I go.
Basil Fawlty: Well, goodbye.

Sybil Fawlty: [about Manuel's rat] Perhaps it would be simplest to have him put to S-L-E-E-P.
Basil Fawlty: Who? Him or the rat? Might get a discount if we have them both done.
Manuel: 'Spleep'?

[Polly struggles to keep Mr. Carnegie, the health inspector, from learning of Manuel's pet rat, Basil - named after Basil Fawlty - running loose in the hotel]
Manuel: The Major try to kill Basil!
Sybil Fawlty: Kill BASIL?
Manuel: No, not Mr. Fawlty. I mean Basil, my little...
Polly: [suddenly, before Manuel can say 'Rat' in front of the health inspector] RATATOUILLE!
Mr. Carnegie: Basil the little...
Polly: Ratatouille. The chef calls the ratatouille 'Basil' because he puts quite a lot of basil in it.
Manuel: He put Basil in the ratatouille?
Polly: Yes!
[Manuel runs off to the kitchen screaming, Polly following]
Sybil Fawlty: [charmingly to Mr. Carnegie] He's from Barcelona.

"Fawlty Towers: The Anniversary (#2.5)" (1979)
Manuel: [helping Basil improvise an excuse for his wife's absence at their anniversary party] Is surprise party?
Basil Fawlty: Yes!
Manuel: She no here.
Basil Fawlty: Right.
Manuel: That is surprise!

Roger: Did you hear that? I said "Syb ill."
Basil Fawlty: Yes?
Roger: Wha', chu got it?
Basil Fawlty: No, no, no, I'm fine.
Roger: [explaining] No, no, no. Well, I call her... I call her "Syb," right? So "Syb - ill." "Bas - well."
Manuel: "MAN - well!"

"Fawlty Towers: The Hotel Inspectors (#1.4)" (1975)
Basil Fawlty: Manuel.
Manuel: Ah, si?
Basil Fawlty: The bottle.
Manuel: Uh... yes.
Basil Fawlty: Where is it?
Manuel: Qué?
Basil Fawlty: Donde es...
Manuel: Oh, I take it. I take it, I take it.
Basil Fawlty: Come here.
Manuel: Qué.
Basil Fawlty: You're a waste of space.
[Basil thwacks him on the forehead with a spoon]

"Fawlty Towers: A Touch of Class (#1.1)" (1975)
Basil Fawlty: [seeing Manual with three trays] Manuel.
Manuel: ¿Si?
Basil Fawlty: [speaking slowly] There is too much butter on those trays.
Manuel: ¿Que?
Basil Fawlty: There is too much butter... on... those... trays.
Manuel: No. No, no, senor. Not... not "on... those... trays"... No, sir.
Manuel: [counting the trays instructively] "Uno, dos, tres".

"Fawlty Towers: The Kipper and the Corpse (#2.4)" (1979)
Manuel: Mr. Fawlty, I no want to work here anymore.

"Fawlty Towers: Gourmet Night (#1.5)" (1975)
Basil Fawlty: Where's Sybil?
Manuel: ¿Que?
Basil Fawlty: Where's Sy-bil?
Manuel: Where's... the bill?
Basil Fawlty: No, no, not a bill! I own the place!