Polly Sherman
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Quotes for
Polly Sherman (Character)
from "Fawlty Towers" (1975)

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"Fawlty Towers: Communication Problems (#2.1)" (1979)
[Mrs. Richards comes downstairs for lavatory paper; Polly thinks she wants writing paper]
Mrs. Richards: Girl, there's no paper in my room. Why don't you check these things? That's what you're being paid for, isn't it?
Polly: We don't put it in the rooms.
Mrs. Richards: What?
Polly: Well, we keep it in the lounge.
Mrs. Richards: [aghast] In the lounge?
Polly: I'll get you some. Do you want plain ones or ones with our address on it?
Mrs. Richards: Address on it?
Polly: How many sheets? Well, how many are you going to use?
Mrs. Richards: Manager!

Mrs. Richards: [Scolding Polly for not revealing where her eyeglasses were located] Are you blind? They were on my head all the whole time, didn't you see?
Polly: Yes!
Mrs. Richards: Didn't God give you eyes?
Polly: Yes, but I don't use 'em 'cause it wears the batteries out.

Mrs. Richards: [to Polly, acidly] Isn't there anyone else who could help me? Really! This is the most appalling service I've ever...
Polly: What a good idea. Manuel? Could you lend Mrs. Richards your assistance in connection with her reservation?
[Manuel looks around, confused]
Mrs. Richards: [to Manuel] Now, I reserved a very quiet room with a bath and a sea view. I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, so please make sure I have it.
Manuel: Que?
Mrs. Richards: What?
Manuel: Que?
Mrs. Richards: Kay?
Manuel: Si.
Mrs. Richards: Sea?
[Manuel nods]
Mrs. Richards: Kay, sea? Kay sea? What are you trying to say?
Manuel: No. No, no, no. Que... what.
Mrs. Richards: Kay Watt?
Manuel: Si, que: what.
Mrs. Richards: C.K. Watt?
Manuel: Yes!
Mrs. Richards: Who is C. K. Watt?
Manuel: Que?
Mrs. Richards: Is he the manager, Mr. Watt?
Manuel: Oh, manajer!
Mrs. Richards: He is?
Manuel: Ah, Mister Fawlty!
Mrs. Richards: What?
Manuel: Fawlty!

Mrs. Richards: What are you talking about, you silly little man?
Mrs. Richards: [to Polly] What is going on here? I ask him for my room and he tells me the manager is a Mr. Watt, aged forty.
Manuel: No, no, no, no. FAWLTY!
Mrs. Richards: He's faulty? What's wrong with him?
Polly: It's all right, Mrs. Richards. He's from Barcelona.
Mrs. Richards: The manager's from Barcelona?
Manuel: No, no, no, he's from-a Swanage.
Polly: And you're in 22.
Mrs. Richards: What?
Polly: You're in Room 22. Manuel, take these cases up to 22, will you?

"Fawlty Towers: The Germans (#1.6)" (1975)
[Basil's constant mention of World War II has reduced a German girl to tears, so he decides to cheer her up with a Hitler imitation]
Basil Fawlty: Look, she'll love it! She's German!
[Basil almost holds a finger underneath his nose]
Polly Shearman: [recognizing what's to come, with horror] NO, Mr. Fawlty!
Basil Fawlty: What?
Polly Shearman: Do Jimmy Cagney instead!
Basil Fawlty: What?
Polly Shearman: Jimmy Cagney!
Basil Fawlty: Jimmy Cagney?
Polly Shearman: You know! "You dirty rat!"
Basil Fawlty: I can't do Jimmy Cagney!
Polly Shearman: Oh, please try! "I'm gonna get you..."
Basil Fawlty: Shut up!
Basil Fawlty: [to the Germans] Here, watch. Who's this then?
[He holds a finger underneath his nose and shouts in mock German, which makes the German girl cry even more]
Basil Fawlty: OK, I'll do the funny walk!
[Basil goose-steps into the lobby and back, all the while chanting in mock German]

Basil Fawlty: Polly, what's that smell?
Polly Shearman: Flowers. I just got them from the garden.
Basil Fawlty: Well, what are you stinking the place up with those for? What's happened to the plastic ones?
Polly Shearman: Being ironed.

Basil Fawlty: [nailing the moose head to the wall] There, tell the Tyrant Queen her cardies are safe forever. Mr Moose is up. It's done, done, done!
Polly Shearman: It's up.
[the moose head falls off and hits Basil on the head in the process]
Polly Shearman: It's down again.

"Fawlty Towers: Basil the Rat (#2.6)" (1979)
[Terry is examining a piece of possibly-poisoned veal the cat had been chewing on]
Terry: Right! Now, how's the cat?
Basil Fawlty: [Incredulously] How's the c...? How's the cat? We're about to take the life of a public health inspector and you want to know "how's the cat"? IT'S GONE TO LONDON TO SEE THE QUEEN! What're we going to do?
Polly: [bringing in the cat] He's fine!
Terry: Great!
Basil Fawlty: [leaping about hysterically] HOORAY! HOORAY! THE CAT LIVES! THE CAT LIVES! LONG LIVE THE CAT! What are we going to DO?
Terry: Mr. Fawlty - if the cat is all right, that means that slice is all right.

[Polly struggles to keep Mr. Carnegie, the health inspector, from learning of Manuel's pet rat, Basil - named after Basil Fawlty - running loose in the hotel]
Manuel: The Major try to kill Basil!
Sybil Fawlty: Kill BASIL?
Manuel: No, not Mr. Fawlty. I mean Basil, my little...
Polly: [suddenly, before Manuel can say 'Rat' in front of the health inspector] RATATOUILLE!
Mr. Carnegie: Basil the little...
Polly: Ratatouille. The chef calls the ratatouille 'Basil' because he puts quite a lot of basil in it.
Manuel: He put Basil in the ratatouille?
Polly: Yes!
[Manuel runs off to the kitchen screaming, Polly following]
Sybil Fawlty: [charmingly to Mr. Carnegie] He's from Barcelona.

[Polly, with a piece of cheese, is looking for Basil the Rat under a table]
Polly: Basil. Basil? Cheesies! Basil...
Basil Fawlty: [coming up behind her] Yes?
[Polly bangs her head beneath the table]
Basil Fawlty: Here I am.
Polly: [coming out from under the table] Oh, Mr. Fawlty I...
Basil Fawlty: [taking the cheese] Oh, that's for me, is it? Thank you.
Polly: [as he eats it] Shall I get you some more? There's plenty...
Basil Fawlty: He's called "Basil," is he? Don't play dumb with me. I trusted you. You're responsible for this!

"Fawlty Towers: Gourmet Night (#1.5)" (1975)
[Basil learns of Kurt's crush on Manuel]
Basil Fawlty: I should never have hired a Frenchman.
Polly: He's Greek, Mr. Fawlty.
Basil Fawlty: Greek?
Polly: Of course.
Basil Fawlty: Well, that's even worse. I mean, they invented it.

Polly: [trying to clue Basil unto a problem while in front of his guests] It's Kurt.
Basil Fawlty: Yes?
Polly: He's POTTED... the shimps.
Basil Fawlty: What?
Polly: He's POTTED... the shimps.
Basil Fawlty: Shrimps? We're not having shrimps tonight, Polly. Now, if you would...
Polly: He's SOUSED... the herrings.
Basil Fawlty: What're you on about?
Polly: He's PICKED the onions and he's SMASHED the eggs IN HIS CUPS, UNDER THE TABLE.

Colonel Hall: Waitress.
Polly: Yes?
Colonel Hall: There's a hair in my mousse.
Polly: Well, don't talk too loud. Everybody will want one.
Colonel Hall: WHAT?

"Fawlty Towers: The Builders (#1.2)" (1975)
Polly: Don't panic!
Basil Fawlty: [shouting] WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO?

[Basil is raving at Polly about the remodeling fiasco]
Polly: Well, it's not my fault!
Basil Fawlty: You fell asleep and it's not your fault?
Polly: He forgot to wake me!
Basil Fawlty: WHO forgot to wake you?
Polly: [pause] It IS my fault.
Basil Fawlty: [shouts] MANUEL! I KNEW IT! MANUEL!

"Fawlty Towers: The Hotel Inspectors (#1.4)" (1975)
Mr. Hutchinson: How do you do?
Polly: How do you do?
Mr. Hutchinson: Wait a minute a minute, we've met before, I think.
Polly: Yes, I served you at breakfast.
Mr. Hutchinson: Oh, yes, and you spilled the grapefruit juice, didn't you, you naughty girl?
Polly: And you moved the glass, didn't you?

"Fawlty Towers: The Psychiatrist (#2.2)" (1979)
Sybil Fawlty: Good evening, Mr. Johnson!
Mr. Johnson: Evening! Any messages?
Polly: Um, three, I think.
Sybil Fawlty: Three! Everybody wants you, don't they?
Mr. Johnson: [chuckles] I wouldn't say that.
Sybil Fawlty: Ah, well, you're only single once.
Basil Fawlty: [calling from office] Twice can be arranged.

"Fawlty Towers: The Kipper and the Corpse (#2.4)" (1979)
Basil Fawlty: He's stone cold!
Polly Sherman: Yes.
Basil Fawlty: Oh, joy!