Mae Coleman
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Quotes for
Mae Coleman (Character)
from Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical (2005) (TV)

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Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical (2005) (TV)
Ralph Wiley: [shouting at the radio's report of Jimmy being executed] Shut up!
Mae Coleman: We can't just let Jimmy die.
Ralph Wiley: Shut up! Shut up!
Sally DeBains: Look, the kid's yesterday's headlines, and there's nothing we can do about it. When's Jack bringing some more boys home?
Ralph Wiley: [overturning the table] Shut up! Shut up!
Sally DeBains: You shut up! What're you? Nuts?
Ralph Wiley: [crazy look] I'm... *fine* Perfectly... in... control.

Mae Coleman: I oughtta leave him, but something makes me stay. It's the stuff. I try to kill him, but my guy gives me love and the stuff. Sometimes he's rough. He throws me down the stairs, but deep inside he cares. He buys me lingerie... and the stuff.
[flashbacks to when Jack first met Mae and got her hooked on reefer]
Mae Coleman: I was a student, good grades and so naive to the stuff. A handsome stranger, some empty promises, lots of stuff. But I don't get hooked. I'm not addicted, no. I just enjoy the glow. I like to have my fun. No harm to anyone. Though the fun sometimes escapes me when Jack gets stone and rapes me! Nothing numbs me better than the stuff.

Mae Coleman: Aww Jack, this kid can't be more than 15.
Jimmy: Oh 16, madam.
Mae Coleman: The name's Mae. And a madam runs a different kind of house.

Mae Coleman: The kid's a goner! They're gonna make him pay for the stuff!
Jack Stone: Here!
[hands Mae a joint]
Jack Stone: Simmer down, will ya?
Mae Coleman: I've seen my honor rolled up and burned away with the stuff! Well, it's gotta stop!
[Jack grabs her breasts from behind]
Mae Coleman: Let go of me!
Jack Stone: What? I'm trying to comfort you here.
Mae Coleman: I said, let go!
[yanks Jack's hands off her]
Mae Coleman: I should show him the door. He treats me like a whore! I don't need Jack no more or the stuff!
[throws the joint to the ground and stomps on it]
Jack Stone: [slaps her] Dumb slut, that was a half a jay of good mooter you just wasted!
Mae Coleman: I know.
[picks up a garden hoe and starts twirling it]
Jack Stone: Hey, what are you doing with that garden hoe?
Mae Coleman: Taking care of a big... fat... weed!
Jack Stone: Alright, that's it.
[takes out a gun]
Jack Stone: Say goodnight, Gracie.
[shoots, but there are no bullets]
Mae Coleman: [smirks] Goodnight, Gracie.
[hits him with the hoe]
Mae Coleman: So, this is it, Jack! Last night of ballyhoo for the stuff!
Jack Stone: Get away from me, you crazy skirt!
Mae Coleman: This one's for Ralph, Jack! This one's for Sally, too! Had enough? Yeah, you're not so tough!
[continues beating him]
Mae Coleman: You once had all the brains! Now they're just carpet stains! You're in no shape to fight my bid to make things right! 'Cause there's blood upon your necktie. Your corpus is delecti. And I have been delivered from the stuff!
[cuts out Jack's heart]

Jimmy Harper: [after eating a hashish brownie] This brownie is yummy! / It's the greatest brownie known to man! / It's chewy, it's nutty, this brownie's really good! / Don't offer me a macaroon. / My brownie suits me fine! / There's frosting on the top, and best of all it's mine!
Sally DeBains, Jack Stone, Ralph Wiley, Mae Coleman: Eat the brownie! Eat the brownie! Eat the brownie! Eat the brownie!
Jack Stone: Let's go home!
Jimmy Harper: Okay. / I shimmer electric! / I'm a one-man marching brownie band. / I love it! My brownie! / And my brownie loves me, too! / It's smooth, it's sweet, it's chocolaty. / It forms a perfect square. / And the bestest part of all, is I don't have to share.
Sally DeBains, Jack Stone, Ralph Wiley, Mae Coleman: He doesn't have to share!
Jimmy Harper: And the bestest part of all is I don't have to share!
Ralph Wiley: Eat the brownie!
Sally DeBains: Eat the brownie!
Jack Stone: Eat the brownie!
Mae Coleman: Eat the brownie!
Sally DeBains, Jack Stone, Ralph Wiley, Jimmy Harper, Mae Coleman: Yeah!

Zombies: [singing] Open the gate and abandon hope! / We're the ghosts of the kids that got hooked on dope!
Ralph Wiley: Way down where it's hot / They are saving us a spot!
Zombies: You murdered us, Ralph! / Murdered 'em! Murdered 'em! Murdered 'em! Murdered 'em!
Ralph Wiley: Bad zombies! Shoo! Go away!
[runs inside and backs his imaginary pursuers off with a garden hoe]
Sally DeBains: He's losin' it, Jack!
Jack Stone: Gee, you don't suppose?
Mae Coleman: He's liable to crack and spill all he knows!
Sally DeBains, Mae Coleman: He's really acting weird!
Jack Stone: Perhaps it's time he disappeared / He'd never be missed / I could murder him! Murder him! Murder him! Murder him!

Mae Coleman: Ralph? Sally? We're back! We got take-away from Dim Foo's. Sally? Ralph?
[Mae screams as Sally's disembodied head rolls down the stairs]
Ralph Wiley: [jumps down the stairs nibbling on Sally's arm. He picks up Sally's head and sings] I found me a snack, it was nice and fresh!
Lecturer, Zombies: The weed made him hungry for human flesh!
Jack Stone: Step away you mug! / 'Cause that's a brand new Persian rug!
[Ralph mockingly runs the bloody end of Sally's head on said rug]
Mae Coleman: He's not gonna stop!
Mae Coleman, Jack Stone: Murder him! Murder him! Murder him! Murder him!

Sally DeBains: [chant] Come on, Jimmy, Come on, Jimmy, suck it down for Sally/Come on, Jimmy, come on, Jimmy, suck it down for Sally!
Jimmy: Umm... no thanks... I don't think I ought to
Sally DeBains: [chant] Come on, Jimmy, Come on, Jimmy, suck it down for Sally/Come on, Jimmy, come on, Jimmy, suck it down for Sally!
Jimmy: Um... I have to go now... thanks for having me...
Jack Stone: [chant on top of Sally] Take a toke of T-stick, Take a toke of T-stick/Take a toke of T-stick, take a toke of T-stick
Mae Coleman: [chant on top of the others] Smoke it, you make choke at first, but then the worst is over/Smoke it, you may choke at first, but then the worst is over!
Ralph Wiley: [chant on top of the others] Don't be a chicken!/Don't be a chicken!
Lecturer, Parents: [repeated on top of others] Don't, Jimmy! Don't do it! Don't be a fool!/Don't, Jimmy! Don't do it! Don't be a fool!
Sally DeBains, Jack Stone, Mae Coleman, Ralph Wiley, Lecturer, Parents: [All chants repeated several times until Jimmy takes a hit]
Lecturer, Parents: *NO*!

Jimmy: Someone save me/There's no place to hide/From this salacious/Magic carpet ride!
Sally DeBains, Jack Stone, Mae Coleman, Ralph Wiley: Open up your mind!/Let your body soar!/Arms and legs entwined/Cry: More! More More!
Jack Stone, Ralph Wiley: If a year goes by, it might seem a day
Sally DeBains, Mae Coleman: If a day goes by, it could take a year

Zombies: Open the gate and abandon hope! We're the ghosts of the kids that got hooked on dope!
Mae Coleman: Now I see 'em, Jack! And they all want their childhoods back! We murdered 'em, Jack!
Mae Coleman, Zombies: Murdered 'em! Murdered 'em! Murdered 'em! Murdered 'em!
Zombies: Open the gate and abandon hope!
Jack Stone: Pull it together!
Zombies: We're the ghosts of the kids that got hooked on dope!
Jack Stone: Don't flip your skirt!
Mae Coleman: Now I see 'em, Jack!
Jack Stone: Now you do the things you gotta do...
Mae Coleman: And they all want their childhoods back!
Jack Stone: In this dog eat dog eat dog world!
Mae Coleman: We murdered 'em, Jack!
Jack Stone: Survival of the fittest! So you...
Jack Stone, Mae Coleman, Zombies: Murder 'em!
Jack Stone: Before they murder you!
Mae Coleman, Zombies: Murdered 'em! Murder! Murder! Murder! Murder! Murder! Murder! Murder!
Jack Stone: The winner is the last one left...
Jack Stone, Mae Coleman, Zombies: Alive!

Mae Coleman: He's wound up like an eight day clock! One too many giggle sticks.


Reefer Madness (1936)
Mae: What time is it?
Jack: Time to get up and give this place the goin' over. It looks like the marines have landed.
Mae: Well, that bunch last night was high enough to take over the marines and the navy!

Mae: I wish you'd lay off those kids!
Jack: Why don't you get over that "mother complex"?

[Jack fixes Mae a drink that is not filled as high as she'd prefer]
Mae: Hey, what an I? An orphan?
[he pours more into the glass]
Jack: Where do you put it? D'ya got a hollow leg?

[Blanche introduces Bill to Mae]
Blanche: This is Bill Harper. He's okay.
[Mae travels to other room]
Mae: There's a new one in today.
Jack: Yeah - Bill Harper. He's all right.

[after realizing the box is empty]
Ralph: Mae? MAE!
[Mae enters]
Mae: What do you want?
Ralph: Bring me some reefers!