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: Mom, you owe me an ice cream sundae... Sharona Fleming
: Oh... Benjy Fleming
: We had a bet. She said you wouldn't come outside, even once. Adrian Monk
: Oh, ye of little faith.
: [looking through a telescope
] Hey, look, I can see our room. And there's Mr. Monk's room... Sharona Fleming
: Which one? Benjy Fleming
: The first one. The one he couldn't stay in because it smelled funny.
: What did you find? Adrian Monk
: Zilch. It was the cleanest room I've ever seen. Sharona Fleming
: Really? Adrian Monk
: I'd stay there. Sharona Fleming
: Wow... look, Adrian, I hate to say it, but maybe he did make it all up. Adrian Monk
: Why would he do that? Sharona Fleming
: To impress you. Maybe... Benjy Fleming
: [standing a short distance away
] You're talking about me, aren't you? I saw what I saw. Adrian Monk
: He saw what he saw.
: Listen, I wanted to say thanks. Adrian Monk
: For what? Benjy Fleming
: For believing me when nobody else did. Though you probably just felt sorry for me 'cause my dad's not around. Adrian Monk
: Hey, I don't have to be your father to believe you. Or to be proud of you. If you say you saw a body, then something happened here. And I'm gonna find out what it is.
[watching Sharona lose on purpose to her new tennis partner
] Benjy Fleming
: Why do girls do that? Adrian Monk
: Someday you'll understand... when you do, call me and explain it to me.
: Okay, for the record, what we just did... Benjy Fleming
: Breaking and entering? Adrian Monk
: Yeah. It's wrong. Don't-don't do it.
[Sharona and Benjy are barred from their street after the earthquake
] Sharona Fleming
: We'll go to Aunt Gail's. Benjy Fleming
: Why can't we stay with Mr. Monk? Sharona Fleming
: Because I will go crazy *slower* at Aunt Gail's.
: [turns on a faucet, causing rather rusty water to come out
] The water's brown! Gail Fleming
: Oh yeah, it always gets like that after an earthquake. Fortunately, I always keep some mineral water around for situations like this... Where's my water?
[She opens the cupboard under the sink, which is empty. In the bathroom, Monk is soaking in the tub, surrounded by empty plastic bottles. Gail bangs on the door
] Gail Fleming
: Mr. Monk? Adrian Monk
: Don't come in. I'm taking a bath. Gail Fleming
: With my mineral water? Adrian Monk
: I tried the water from the tap, but it was a little rusty. Gail Fleming
: Yeah well, enjoy that bath, it's costing me ninety-five dollars! Adrian Monk
: [oblivious to her sarcasm
] Thank you!
: Are you going to do any more acting, Mr. Monk? Adrian Monk
: Anything's possible, Benjy... except for that.
: [at dinner with Sharona and Benjy
] You know, I always thought if anyone in this family ever would ended up in jail, it would be you. Sharona Fleming
: Arh. You know what? That's great. That's great. Right in front of Benjy? Benjy Fleming
: I don't mind. Cheryl Fleming
: No. You know what I'm talking about. Remember when you S-T-O-L-E the car? Sharona Fleming
: Ma, he's eleven years old. He can spell.
: [about Monk
] Can I take him to school? Like, for show-and-tell?
: Adrian, this is what normal people do on a Sunday morning. Benjy Fleming
: Mom, we're not exactly normal. Sharona Fleming
: We are compared to some people.
[glances at Monk
: They were giving him a wedgie. Adrian Monk
: What's a wedgie? Benjy Fleming
: It's when they pull your underwear up all the way out of your pants. Adrian Monk
: Oh, they called it something different when I was your age. Benjy Fleming
: What did they call it? Adrian Monk
: An "Adrian."
: Sharona, he was just standing up for a friend. Sharona Fleming
: Adrian, you stay out of this! You're not his father. Adrian Monk
: That's true, but I care about him as much as any father.
[rips off Benjy's Band-Aid for the umpteenth time
] Benjy Fleming
: OW! Mom! Stop it!
: These puzzles have 500 pieces EACH! Now we're mixing 'em toghether... OK, open your eyes! Ready... Go! Rudy
: [about Mr. Monk
] Is he a robot? Benjy Fleming
] No, he's a person! Rudy
: Wow! What else can he do? Benjy Fleming
: He vacuums a lot... And he solves murders. Rudy
: You could sell tickets to this! Benjy Fleming
: I know, I know! I want to, but my mum won't let me. He's her boss. Sharona Fleming
: Benjy, what are you doing? He's not a toy! Benjy Fleming
: He doesen't care, he likes it! Don't you, Mr. Monk? Adrian Monk
: Oh, yeah! This one's missing a corner! Rudy
: [takes another puzzle
] Do you think he would do three? Benjy Fleming
: Let's find out!
[Mr. Monk remains still with two pieces of a puzzle in his hands
: Oh, oh! We broke him! Sharona Fleming
: Adrian! Hey! You okay? Adrian Monk
: Sure! You don't still have those letters, do you? Sharona Fleming
: What letters? Adrian Monk
: The letters Joe Christie gave us. Sharona Fleming
: I don't know! That was a month ago! Adrian Monk
: 27 days!... A month... Close enough. Sharona Fleming
: Hey! It's your lucky day! They're right here! Rudy
: What's he doing now? Benjy Fleming
: Aaah, he's just thinking! Wanna play video games? Rudy
: Good idea!
[the boys leave and Benjy laughs
: I am so hungry. Sharona Fleming
: Well, get a hot dog. Adrian Monk
: No, no thanks. No. Benjy Fleming
: Mom, can I have two dollars? Sharona Fleming
: Wait. What for? Benjy Fleming
: It's a contest. There's a big jar of jellybeans, and if I guess how many are in the jar, I win a boom box. Adrian Monk
: 8,385. Sharona Fleming
: What? Adrian Monk
: That's how many jellybeans are in the jar - 8,385. Benjy Fleming
: 8,385. 8,385. Sharona Fleming
: Have you seen the jar?
[Monk shakes his head
] Sharona Fleming
: How can you guess if you haven't seen the jar? Adrian Monk
: Benjy. 8,385.
: Oh, suck it up. Adrian Monk
: I don't think it's my turn to suck it up. I think it's your turn to suck it up. Benjy Fleming
: Why don't you both suck it up? Sharona Fleming
: Excuse me! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Benjy Fleming
: No. Sharona Fleming
: Well, you should. Come here.
[Benjy answers the door holding his skateboard
] Sheldon Burger
: Hi. Benjy Fleming
: Who are you? Sheldon Burger
: I'm Sheldon Burger, Deputy Mayor. Hey, ya like skateboarding? Benjy Fleming
: [over his shoulder
] Mom! Something happened to Monk!