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Quotes for
Benjy Fleming (Character)
from "Monk" (2002)

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"Monk: Mr. Monk Takes a Vacation (#1.10)" (2002)
Benjy Fleming: Mom, you owe me an ice cream sundae...
Sharona Fleming: Oh...
Benjy Fleming: We had a bet. She said you wouldn't come outside, even once.
Adrian Monk: Oh, ye of little faith.

Benjy Fleming: [looking through a telescope] Hey, look, I can see our room. And there's Mr. Monk's room...
Sharona Fleming: Which one?
Benjy Fleming: The first one. The one he couldn't stay in because it smelled funny.

Sharona Fleming: What did you find?
Adrian Monk: Zilch. It was the cleanest room I've ever seen.
Sharona Fleming: Really?
Adrian Monk: I'd stay there.
Sharona Fleming: Wow... look, Adrian, I hate to say it, but maybe he did make it all up.
Adrian Monk: Why would he do that?
Sharona Fleming: To impress you. Maybe...
Benjy Fleming: [standing a short distance away] You're talking about me, aren't you? I saw what I saw.
Adrian Monk: He saw what he saw.

Benjy Fleming: Listen, I wanted to say thanks.
Adrian Monk: For what?
Benjy Fleming: For believing me when nobody else did. Though you probably just felt sorry for me 'cause my dad's not around.
Adrian Monk: Hey, I don't have to be your father to believe you. Or to be proud of you. If you say you saw a body, then something happened here. And I'm gonna find out what it is.

[watching Sharona lose on purpose to her new tennis partner]
Benjy Fleming: Why do girls do that?
Adrian Monk: Someday you'll understand... when you do, call me and explain it to me.

Adrian Monk: Okay, for the record, what we just did...
Benjy Fleming: Breaking and entering?
Adrian Monk: Yeah. It's wrong. Don't-don't do it.

"Monk: Mr. Monk and the Earthquake (#1.11)" (2002)
[Sharona and Benjy are barred from their street after the earthquake]
Sharona Fleming: We'll go to Aunt Gail's.
Benjy Fleming: Why can't we stay with Mr. Monk?
Sharona Fleming: Because I will go crazy *slower* at Aunt Gail's.

Benjy Fleming: [turns on a faucet, causing rather rusty water to come out] The water's brown!
Gail Fleming: Oh yeah, it always gets like that after an earthquake. Fortunately, I always keep some mineral water around for situations like this... Where's my water?
[She opens the cupboard under the sink, which is empty. In the bathroom, Monk is soaking in the tub, surrounded by empty plastic bottles. Gail bangs on the door]
Gail Fleming: Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: Don't come in. I'm taking a bath.
Gail Fleming: With my mineral water?
Adrian Monk: I tried the water from the tap, but it was a little rusty.
Gail Fleming: Yeah well, enjoy that bath, it's costing me ninety-five dollars!
Adrian Monk: [oblivious to her sarcasm] Thank you!

"Monk: Mr. Monk Goes to the Theater (#2.6)" (2003)
Benjy Fleming: Are you going to do any more acting, Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: Anything's possible, Benjy... except for that.

Cheryl Fleming: [at dinner with Sharona and Benjy] You know, I always thought if anyone in this family ever would ended up in jail, it would be you.
Sharona Fleming: Arh. You know what? That's great. That's great. Right in front of Benjy?
Benjy Fleming: I don't mind.
Cheryl Fleming: No. You know what I'm talking about. Remember when you S-T-O-L-E the car?
Sharona Fleming: Ma, he's eleven years old. He can spell.

"Monk: Mr. Monk Meets Dale the Whale (#1.4)" (2002)
Benjy Fleming: [about Monk] Can I take him to school? Like, for show-and-tell?

Sharona Fleming: Adrian, this is what normal people do on a Sunday morning.
Benjy Fleming: Mom, we're not exactly normal.
Sharona Fleming: We are compared to some people.
[glances at Monk]

"Monk: Mr. Monk and the Panic Room (#3.2)" (2004)
Benjy Fleming: They were giving him a wedgie.
Adrian Monk: What's a wedgie?
Benjy Fleming: It's when they pull your underwear up all the way out of your pants.
Adrian Monk: Oh, they called it something different when I was your age.
Benjy Fleming: What did they call it?
Adrian Monk: An "Adrian."

Adrian Monk: Sharona, he was just standing up for a friend.
Sharona Fleming: Adrian, you stay out of this! You're not his father.
Adrian Monk: That's true, but I care about him as much as any father.
[rips off Benjy's Band-Aid for the umpteenth time]
Benjy Fleming: OW! Mom! Stop it!

"Monk: Mr. Monk and the Employee of the Month (#3.7)" (2004)
Benjy Fleming: These puzzles have 500 pieces EACH! Now we're mixing 'em toghether... OK, open your eyes! Ready... Go!
Rudy: [about Mr. Monk] Is he a robot?
Benjy Fleming: [laughing] No, he's a person!
Rudy: Wow! What else can he do?
Benjy Fleming: He vacuums a lot... And he solves murders.
Rudy: You could sell tickets to this!
Benjy Fleming: I know, I know! I want to, but my mum won't let me. He's her boss.
Sharona Fleming: Benjy, what are you doing? He's not a toy!
Benjy Fleming: He doesen't care, he likes it! Don't you, Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: Oh, yeah! This one's missing a corner!
Rudy: [takes another puzzle] Do you think he would do three?
Benjy Fleming: Let's find out!
[Mr. Monk remains still with two pieces of a puzzle in his hands]
Rudy: Oh, oh! We broke him!
Sharona Fleming: Adrian! Hey! You okay?
Adrian Monk: Sure! You don't still have those letters, do you?
Sharona Fleming: What letters?
Adrian Monk: The letters Joe Christie gave us.
Sharona Fleming: I don't know! That was a month ago!
Adrian Monk: 27 days!... A month... Close enough.
Sharona Fleming: Hey! It's your lucky day! They're right here!
Rudy: What's he doing now?
Benjy Fleming: Aaah, he's just thinking! Wanna play video games?
Rudy: Good idea!
[the boys leave and Benjy laughs]

"Monk: Mr. Monk Goes to the Carnival (#1.5)" (2002)
Adrian Monk: I am so hungry.
Sharona Fleming: Well, get a hot dog.
Adrian Monk: No, no thanks. No.
Benjy Fleming: Mom, can I have two dollars?
Sharona Fleming: Wait. What for?
Benjy Fleming: It's a contest. There's a big jar of jellybeans, and if I guess how many are in the jar, I win a boom box.
Adrian Monk: 8,385.
Sharona Fleming: What?
Adrian Monk: That's how many jellybeans are in the jar - 8,385.
Benjy Fleming: 8,385. 8,385.
Sharona Fleming: Have you seen the jar?
[Monk shakes his head]
Sharona Fleming: How can you guess if you haven't seen the jar?
Adrian Monk: Benjy. 8,385.

"Monk: Mr. Monk Goes to the Circus (#2.4)" (2003)
Sharona Fleming: Oh, suck it up.
Adrian Monk: I don't think it's my turn to suck it up. I think it's your turn to suck it up.
Benjy Fleming: Why don't you both suck it up?
Sharona Fleming: Excuse me! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Benjy Fleming: No.
Sharona Fleming: Well, you should. Come here.

"Monk: Mr. Monk and the Candidate: Part 2 (#1.2)" (2002)
[Benjy answers the door holding his skateboard]
Sheldon Burger: Hi.
Benjy Fleming: Who are you?
Sheldon Burger: I'm Sheldon Burger, Deputy Mayor. Hey, ya like skateboarding?
Benjy Fleming: [over his shoulder] Mom! Something happened to Monk!