The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: Please! Please, let me stay here! Tom Valco
: No! Drew Latham
: I'll pay you. Tom Valco
: My family's not for sale, pal. Drew Latham
: I'll pay you $250,000! Tom Valco
: Welcome home, son.
: Hey, Dad. Christine Valco
: He's talking to you, genius. Tom Valco
: Yeah, Drew? Drew Latham
: Would you do me a kindness? Put this hat on. My dad always used to wear a Santa hat when we went Christmas tree shopping. Tom Valco
] In public? Drew Latham
: Yeah. Tom Valco
: Yeah, that would be no. And in private, that would be no, too. Drew Latham
: Please wear the hat. Tom Valco
: No. I'm not wearing the hat. Drew Latham
: Tom, you gotta wear the hat. Tom Valco
: I'm not wearing the hat. Drew Latham
: Wear the hat, Tom. Tom Valco
: I'm not wearing the hat. Now get it away from me before I shove it up your ass! Drew Latham
: Tom, are you familiar with the phrase "breach of contract"? Tom Valco
: Give me the hat!
: I think your mom's starting to like your grandfather hitting on her. Drew Latham
: There's a sentence you don't often hear on Christmas Eve.
] Drew Latham
: Folks, my firm's done a tremendous amount of marketing research and we've discovered two critical things, one; most Americans feel that Christmas is a time for family. Two; most Americans feel that in order to stand being around their family, for even one or two days, they need to swill as much alcohol as humanly possible.
: Wow, I can't believe it. This is amazing. This is exactly how I remember it. Brian Valco
: You mean, you're saying it was always a shithole?
: Did you hear that? That stair squeaked. You know what we used to call that squeaky stair? The squeaky stair!
: Mom, you wanna stick with Doo-Dah? Christine Valco
: Why me? Drew Latham
: He's your father. Doo-Dah
: How come you never call?
: Hey, Alicia! Want to go toboganning with me? Alicia Valco
: Oh, I'm sorry Drew. Have I been sending you mixed signals? Drew Latham
] You know, I just thought instead of maybe laying around the house all day, you might actually wanna have some fun. Alicia Valco
: No thanks. Drew Latham
: Oh, I see. You're afraid of fun. You don't like having fun! Alicia Valco
: Of course I like fun. Everybody likes fun... it's fun! Drew Latham
: So then, why won't you go with me? Alicia Valco
: Because it'll be with you.
: You do know that's a bra you're putting in Brian's drawer, right? Christine Valco
: Yeah, that's your brother. He's 15, he likes to experiment. We still love him though.
: It's fun just to buy shit sometimes!