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: Money. I hate, loathe, despise and abominate money. Mr. Alonzo Smith
: You also spend it.
, Esther Smith
] Meet me in St. Louie, Louie, meet me at... Mr. Alonzo Smith
: For heaven's sake, stop that screeching! Rose Smith
: We're sorry, Papa. Mr. Alonzo Smith
: The fair won't open for seven months, and that's all anybody ever sings about or talks about. I wish they would all meet at the fair and leave me alone.
: Papa, if losing a case depresses you so, why don't you quit practicing law and go into another line of business? Mr. Alonzo Smith
: That's a good idea. Starting tomorrow, I intend to play first base for the Baltimore Orioles. I'm sorry, Anna, if I was a little bombastic. Mrs. Anna Smith
: That's all right, dear, you'll feel better once you've had your dinner. Mr. Alonzo Smith
: I suppose so, but right now I'm going to soak in that cool bathtub for one solid hour. Esther Smith
: But that's impossible. Dinner's being served in five minutes. Mr. Alonzo Smith
: It's only five twenty-five, not six twenty-five. Mrs. Anna Smith
: We've planned on eating an hour early tonight. Mr. Alonzo Smith
: Well, the plans have just been changed. I'm taking a bath. Mrs. Anna Smith
: We're eating early for Katie's sake. Family trouble. She wants to go over there as soon as we've finished eating. Her sister's fighting with her husband. Mr. Alonzo Smith
: I see. And I suppose they'll stop fighting if I don't take a bath? Mrs. Anna Smith
: Now she's been with us for ten years, and she never asks favors. We don't want to risk losing her. Esther Smith
: No, nowadays you can't get a maid for less than twelve dollars a month. Mr. Alonzo Smith
: I don't care if we have to pay a maid fifteen dollars a month! Dinner's at six-thirty, and if Katie wants to hand in her notice, she can reach me in the bathtub!
: Hello, Papa, I buried Maude Rockefeller today, and you missed all the fun. Mr. Alonzo Smith
: Oh, I wouldn't say that. I've had a pretty full day. Tootie, remind me to spank you right after dinner. 'Tootie' Smith
: Yes, Papa. Mr. Alonzo Smith
: Lord, we thank thee for the bountiful blessing we are about to receive. Amen. 'Tootie' Smith
: Agnes, if I forget to remind Papa, you remind me. Agnes Smith
: All right.
Mr. Alonzo Smith
: Ah, corn beef and cabbage. Katie, I could smell that cabbage when I got off the trolley. Katie the Maid
: Cabbage has a cabbage smell.
Mr Alonzo Smith
: Anna, I'm curious, just when was I voted out of this family?
Katie the Maid
: Anybody want dessert? Mr. Alonzo Smith
: Dessert? What happened to dinner? Katie the Maid
: I didn't think anybody could eat meat on a hot day like this!
: Rose Smith, we can't go on like this any longer. I've positively decided we're going to get married at the earliest opportunity and I don't want to hear any arguments. That's final. I love you. Merry Christmas. Rose Smith
: Merry Christmas Mr. Alonzo Smith
: Anna, who is that boy? Mrs. Anna Smith
: Now Lonny he's a very fine young man. We'll talk about it later. Grandpa
: That young man is so excited he's liable to leave on his honeymoon without Rose.
Mr. Alonzo Smith
: Either I've lost some soup, or I've found a spoon.