Julian
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Quotes for
Julian (Character)
from Trailer Park Boys: The Movie (2006)

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"Trailer Park Boys: The Winds of Shit (#5.7)" (2005)
Julian: [to Ray in jail] All you gotta do is keep a low profile, you're gonna be fine.
Ray: Oh 'low profile'? What are you, reading books again Julian?
Julian: What's wrong with reading books?
Ray: Nothing's wrong with reading books, but there's only one books that counts Julian, and that's the Bible. It says to help your friends.
Julian: Oh yeah? Does it say anything about you rippin' off insurance companies, pretendin' to be in a wheelchair then gettin' caught drunk, dancin' with ho's makin' porn flicks? Huh? Anythin in your book about that, Ray?
Ray: [pause] It's open to interpretation, Julian, it's the Bible.

Julian: Ray, does the Bible also say something about committing Insurance Fraud by sitting in a wheelchair and then going to jail because you got caught dancing with two hookers totally drunk while doing a porn movie, does the Bible say anything about that?


"Trailer Park Boys: Mrs. Peterson's Dog Gets Fucked Up (#1.4)" (2001)
Julian: SAM. You're buying dope off of *Sam*?
Ricky: Sam's got some serious shit.
Julian: No, what Sam's got is some serious problems, Ricky.

Julian: [handing him a crowbar] Break in.
Ricky: Why do *I* have to break in?
Julian: Because it's all your fault and I'm in charge!


"Trailer Park Boys: Propane, Propane (#4.7)" (2004)
Bubbles: You're not really marrying Lahey's ex-wife are ya?
Ricky: I don't know, I think so or I don't know! Fu... I don't know!
Julian: Ricky, what do you mean you think so?
Ricky: Look Julian, I was baked out of my fucking mind, it seemed like a good idea at the time alright? It's not everyday somebody fucking asks you to get married, is it? It's pretty fucking cool Julian.
Julian: Listen to me Rick, we're about to sell a huge amount of dope here and get rich, ok? What if you marry her and it doesn't work out? Huh?
Ricky: Marry somebody else?
Bubbles: No I'll tell you what's gonna happen, she can take half your shit man. She can take half your car, half the trailer park, half your video game, she can even take half your cigarettes Ricky. That's not gonna happen man because most of that shit's ours.
Bubbles: Not just that Ricky, but you're supposed to get married to somebody that you think is special, not just somebody that fuckin' fires a lunch together for you and you go and get your freak on with. Do you even love her?
Ricky: Probably.
Julian: Ricky, Lahey will hunt you down. Ok? Go talk to Barb, tell her you were too stoned at the time and you need to think about it.


Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys (2008) (TV)
Ricky: What the fuck is going on in there, you OK?
Julian: Ah fuck. Cover me my gun's jammed.
Ricky: Sam you're about to get your empty fucking cave head full of bullets.
Sam Lasco: With a pellet gun Ricky? Put the fucking thing down right now.
Ricky: It's Bubble's pellet gun Sam. That's all I got.
Sam Lasco: Fine. Put it down. And bring me that sandwich.
Ricky: I'm not giving you my fucking sandwich.


"Trailer Park Boys: What in the Fuck Happened to Our Trailer Park? (#2.1)" (2002)
Julian: Bubbles, what happened to my trailer park, man?
Ricky: Looks like a tropical earthquake blew through here or something, man.


"Trailer Park Boys: I'm Not Gay, I love Lucy. Wait a Second, Maybe I am Gay (#1.5)" (2001)
Julian: [after listening to Lucy hitting on him and Ricky mourning his loss of Lucy on his answering machine] I need some advice. I gotta go talk to Bubbles.


"Trailer Park Boys: Give Peace a Chance (#5.1)" (2005)
[Ricky and Julian are having a gun standoff with Cyrus]
Cyrus: And give me those fucking guns too, boys! I gave those to Terry and Dennis for their birthday.
Julian: Guess what?
Cyrus: What?
Julian: This is my gun now, so fuck off!
Cyrus: No, you fuck off!
Julian: No, you fuck off!
Cyrus: No, you fuck off!
Ricky: Cyrus, you fuck off first and then we'll fuck off!
Bubbles: Ricky, just - everybody, we'll all fuck off at the same time. Calm down.
Ricky: I'm not fuckin' off.
Cyrus: Well, then I guess we're gonna fucking stand still, aren't we Ricky?
Ricky: Yeah, I know how to fix that.
Cyrus: How?
Ricky: Fuck off!


Trailer Park Boys: Countdown to Liquor Day (2009)
[Watching Randy cross-dressing]
Julian: He's a pretty good dancer though.
Bubbles: That's an odd thing to say, Julian...


"Trailer Park Boys: Who the Hell Invited These Idiots to My Wedding? (#1.6)" (2001)
Julian: [offscreen, packing the getaway car] Why do we have all these fucking bananas?


Trailer Park Boys: The Movie (2006)
[from trailer]
Bubbles: We're going to have to play ourselves boys. I'm going have to be to be Bubbles in the movie.
Julian: These people are terrible.
Ricky: What if I want to be Bubbles?
Julian: You're going to play yourself. Think, okay. You're going to be Ricky.
Bubbles: Now you're being a dick right now. You do just that.


"Trailer Park Boys: Take Your Little Gun and Get Out of My Trailer Park (#1.1)" (2001)
Julian: I want you outta that car in two days though, Ricky.
Ricky: No more than two weeks, I promise.


"Trailer Park Boys: Conky (#4.5)" (2004)
Julian: In sixth grade Bubbles made this puppet he called Conky.
Ricky: What a little asshole.
Julian: He took the doll with him everywhere. It was kind of like his confidante.
Ricky: His what?
Julian: Never mind. Anyway, we had to take the doll away, because it fucked Bubbles' mind up big time.
Ricky: Yeah, it was like, even though Bubbles was Bubbles, he was two people at the same time as bein' Bubbles. He was trying to be this other person that wasn't Bubbles, but he was still Bubbles. It was, it was fucked.