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: We're going to have to play ourselves boys. I'm going have to be to be Bubbles in the movie. Julian
: These people are terrible. Ricky
: What if I want to be Bubbles? Julian
: You're going to play yourself. Think, okay. You're going to be Ricky. Bubbles
: Now you're being a dick right now. You do just that.
: [after Lucy flashes her implants to the crowd
] What a greasy horror show...
: [to Julian, while he's talking to Ricky on his cell phone
] Should you be on the phone with him if he's masturbating?
: Boys do you think there's something fucking wrong with ten thousand people seeing us doing this and taking pictures, maybe?
: Delicate Ricky, delicate... Thats blue dye under pressure! That whore blows and we all look like those blue, bald headed dicks that beat the drums.
: [terrified & being chased by a police chopper
] THERES A HELLACOCKSUCKER BEHIND US!
: [afer smelling a kitty that spent the night in ricky's car
] Ricky! Smell him! He smells like cigarettes! Ricky
: [Smells kitty
] Yeah he does smells like cigarettes a bit I guess. Bubbles
: Kitties aren't supposed to smell like cigareets, they're supposed to smell like kitties!
: Chicken and bangin'. That's nice...
: Do you want to take it to Fucktown Lahey? Cause that's where this is headed: Downtown Fucktown! Bubbles
: No Mr. Lahey, PLEASE, we don't want to go to Fucktown!
: God, this place makes me frisky!
: Jesus Murphy!
: [from trailer
] What kind of English is that? Bubbles
: He's speaking Spanish Ricky. Ricky
: Boy here let's clear something up. Is it galapeno or halapeno? Hispanic Auditionee
: It's jalapeño. Ricky
: No, it's galapeno. Next.
: Ricky, I think you might have hurt Corey and Trevor's feelings there! Ricky
: Bubbles, look at them. They're the stupidest fuck-giraffes in the dumb-dumb salad. Bubbles
: Fuck giraffes?
: [Sweaty Randy sits in Julian's chair and leave a sweat outline in the chair
] Oh my sweet Jesus. You might get it out with baking soda but the stink, you'll never get that out!
: Mr. Leahy expects me to take care of all the food. Take a guess what it is? Fucking bologna sandwiches. I don't know whether I'm interested in all this fucking dirty dancing bologna sandwich stuff. Fuck bologna sandwiches. Fucking bologna sandwiches.
: We just mind our own business down here at the dump. Nobody comes down here fucking with anybody. I'm just bottling liquor... that's my job. Paid by the hour, no bullshit. Bottling Ray's Good Liquor. It's a dirty, sassy liquor. Ahhh... so sassy.
: [Bringing a towel to Ray who's taking a bath in a dumpster
] What happened to your neck Ray? Ray
: Fucking gulls are biting like crazy Bubs. Bubbles
: The gulls are biting? Ray
: Seagulls Bubbles
: Seagulls are nipping at ya? Ray
: Yeah, I got bit twice yesterday by one fucker. Bubbles
: My God that's greasy. Ray
: Sometimes life is greasy Bubbles.
: [hearing thunder, to Julian and Ricky
] My God boys hear that? Help hump this fucking bologna logs to the car please. It's gonna rain horse cocks tonight.
: Something's not right... something's fucky.
: It's not the best way to be covert, to be honest, to have a fucking camera crew following you around. Think we would have figured that out by now.
[Watching Randy cross-dressing
: He's a pretty good dancer though. Bubbles
: That's an odd thing to say, Julian...
: Ga'head with ya striped shaved head. It's whack, dog, and I aint feelin' it! Bubbles
: I know it is.
: Do you ever get your head where it just won't shut up and it's talking to itself, 'yap yap yap'. Fuck! What is that? Bubbles
: Thinkin', Ricky. You're thinkin'! Ricky
: That's all that is?
: You all right, Corey? I don't give a fuck, actually.
: Green Bastard, from parts unknown.
: [about piss jugs
] Well, Ray used to be on the road as a trucker, and that's what truckers do! They're drivin' along, and they've got deadlines to meet... they don't wanna pull in and... park the truck, walk in, take a pee in the toilet, then go back out and get on the road... they just have an old jug and they... put their bird in it, have a pee, cap it off, and once it's full they just drill the fuckin' thing out on the highway! I mean, I don't agree with it. I see where they're comin' from, trying to make their deadlines, but... Ray's been firing them all over the park like he's still drivin' a truck!
: Cops, cops. There's Randy with no pants on!
: Can you read, my son? Bubbles
: That depends, can you go fuck yourself?
: Have you read the Bible? Bubbles
: Maybe I have, maybe I haven't - what's it to you? Hampton - The Bible Pimp
: CAN you read, my son? Bubbles
: Well, that depends - can you go fuck yourself?
: You're not really marrying Lahey's ex-wife are ya? Ricky
: I don't know, I think so or I don't know! Fu... I don't know! Julian
: Ricky, what do you mean you think so? Ricky
: Look Julian, I was baked out of my fucking mind, it seemed like a good idea at the time alright? It's not everyday somebody fucking asks you to get married, is it? It's pretty fucking cool Julian. Julian
: Listen to me Rick, we're about to sell a huge amount of dope here and get rich, ok? What if you marry her and it doesn't work out? Huh? Ricky
: Marry somebody else? Bubbles
: No I'll tell you what's gonna happen, she can take half your shit man. She can take half your car, half the trailer park, half your video game, she can even take half your cigarettes Ricky. That's not gonna happen man because most of that shit's ours. Bubbles
: Not just that Ricky, but you're supposed to get married to somebody that you think is special, not just somebody that fuckin' fires a lunch together for you and you go and get your freak on with. Do you even love her? Ricky
: Probably. Julian
: Ricky, Lahey will hunt you down. Ok? Go talk to Barb, tell her you were too stoned at the time and you need to think about it.
: Lahey, can you please get the Flying Fuck out of our way? We gotta go get Rush tickets!
: You know whats at work here? Its shit tectonics. When two shit plates strike and come together under incredible pressure, what happens Bubbs? Bubbles
: What Mr Lahey? Jim Lahey
: He just waltzes in there, and becomes the king of the carts. What the fuck does he think I'm supposed to do? Go down to E.I. Hey there, yeah, I haul shopping carts out of ponds and sell them back to the store for a living, I've been doing it for eighteen years, so give me a fucking check please. That's not gonna fucking happen. I haven't been paying into U.I., E.I. or whatever the fuck there calling it these days.
: [to Sam Losco
] Is it just me, or can someone here go fuck themselves?
[Ricky and Julian are having a gun standoff with Cyrus
: And give me those fucking guns too, boys! I gave those to Terry and Dennis for their birthday. Julian
: Guess what? Cyrus
: What? Julian
: This is my gun now, so fuck off! Cyrus
: No, you fuck off! Julian
: No, you fuck off! Cyrus
: No, you fuck off! Ricky
: Cyrus, you fuck off first and then we'll fuck off! Bubbles
: Ricky, just - everybody, we'll all fuck off at the same time. Calm down. Ricky
: I'm not fuckin' off. Cyrus
: Well, then I guess we're gonna fucking stand still, aren't we Ricky? Ricky
: Yeah, I know how to fix that. Cyrus
: How? Ricky
: Fuck off!
Officer Erica Miller
: Stop staring at my tits, Bubbles. Bubbles
: I wasn't. Officer Erica Miller
: Yes you were. Bubbles
: I was not!
: You guys wanna stay and watch? You wanna see a rocket go, Randy? Randy
: Does it really launch, Bubbles? Bubbles
: Does it really launch? Does the Tin Man have a sheet metal cock?
: Used furniture store is not a bad idea Julian. Keep Lahay and Randy distracted, make a few bucks. Ricky
: Exactly. Get two birds stoned at once.
: [J-Roc is caught masturbating
] Turn that shit off, motherfucker! I was gettin' changed, you know what I'm sayin'? I don't want that shit on TV. I don't want motherfuckers seeing me gettin' changed! Bubbles
: Turn that thing off, he's pullin' his goalie! Ricky
: You're on fucking camera, what the fuck were you doing, J-roc? J-Roc
: I was gettin' changed, Motherfucker! Ricky
: Changed, my ass! you were fucking cranking it!
: Holy fuck Ray, look! Hot hamburger sandwiches! Ray
: More like hot pull the fuck over!
: A couple of things from the mall, and I can have this whole thing runnin' slicker than an oiled up whore at a fishing derby.