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[Amy fails to unhook Lucy's bra properly during their make-out session
: Oww! Did you just snap my bra? Amy
: Er... no. Lucy
: Yeah, you did. That hasn't happened to me since sixth grade. Amy
: I was trying to be smooth.
: Who's your best friend? Amy
: You are my best friend. Max
: And what did I say to you the very first day at the Academy? Amy
: "That's my bunk, bitch." Max
: After that.
: Nothing happened. Janet
: She was totally going to kiss you. You are so into her! Amy
: I am not! Janet
: You violated the prime directive. Plus, hello, it's a *girl*. You're so busted!
: Are you kidding me? We conduct a nationwide manhunt for you and you're boning the suspect? Did you think this was a joke? "Let's divert federal resources and man hours so I can have my collegiate lesbian fling in style." Amy
: I was doing research. Mrs. Peatree
: I'll bet.
: [to Janet
] Remember when you got drunk and nearly got the chancellor of Bulgaria killed? And remember how i covered for you? I never told anyone. If Max ever found out you would never get your stripes and NEVER graduate.
: Everybody's talking about it. Amy
: About what? Janet
: How you met Lucy and lived to tell about it. They're calling you a hero, when really you're a slut. Amy
: You shut up. Janet
: A gay slut. Amy
: I'm not gay! Janet
: Ms. Petrie wants to see you.
: It's a trap. Amy
: Whatever. Max
: Hey! Look. Creepy shadows. No bad guys in sight. Confined space! Trap! Amy
: Why are to you giving me such a hard time? Do you think I can't handle it? Max
: No I *know* you can't handle it. You wouldn't know formation kappa kappa gamma if it bit you in your forehead. Dominique
: [acknowledging that this is not the best time for Amy and Max to be fighting
] We are going to die. Amy
: [to Dominique
[turning back to Max
: As your senior officer, I'm ordering you to secure the vault, soldier! Max
: You're "ordering" me? Amy
: Yeah! Max
: [gets gun ready
] Fine! Amy
: [they run in - nothing seems amiss
] There! That wasn't so bad. I think you guys owe me an apology-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
[falls as trap doors opens beneath her
: I didn't even want to be a criminal. I wanted to be a pirate. Amy
] Pirates are criminals. Lucy
: Oh. Whoops.
: What I said to you the first time we met? Max
: "High-protein diets are overrated." Amy
: [trying to be patient
] After that.
: Come with me. Come on, what do you have to lose? Amy
: So, where're you going to? Amy
: I think... Barcelona. Janet
: I'll miss you.
: Can I have your room?
: I'm here because I feel more like me when I'm with you, than I do when I'm with me.
: I have the sweater she's wearing, but in taupe. Amy
: Really? Where did you get it? Janet
: Target. Amy
: No way. Dominique
: Silence! Janet
] They also have it in teal.
: [looking at Lucy through binoculars
] Wow. Lucy Diamond, she's... Max
: What? Amy
: I think love should be irresistible, like a drug, you know? I think when it happens you should just not be able to help yourself. I just - I wanted... more.
: [at Endgame, Amy delivers the formal acceptance speech Max wrote for her
] If there is corruption in this city, Lucy Diamond is behind it.
[Lucy enters the auditorium on an upper-floor balcony and listens in painful silence
: If there is indecency to be found, she is the root. If there is evil in this world, its name is Lucy Diamond. It's not until moments like this when you are forced to take stock of yourself that you see what you are made of. It's not until moments like this when you have to remember what's right and true. Because it's moments like this when you discover what it truly means to be a D.E.B.
[looks up, sees Lucy, and stops reading
: Which is why I can't accept this award from you tonight. Because, the truth is, the times I spent with Lucy Diamond were the happiest days of my life. And the only brave thing I've done this whole time is what I'm doing now. So if you'll excuse me, I have a date with the devil.
[smiles and runs from the podium
] Oh god, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. Amy
: Oh my god... Lucy
: Shit. Amy
: You're Lucy Diamond. Lucy
: You're a D.E.B. Amy
: You have the right to remain silent... Lucy
: You're reading me my rights? Amy
: Anything you say can and will be used against you.
[Lucy and Amy look at each other with anticipation. Amy starts to look uneasy. Lucy gives Amy a look like she's just realized how cute Amy is, then Amy talks
: Okay here's the thing. Lucy
: Yeah? Amy
: I am really not up for dying today. Lucy
: Me neither. Amy
: So, I was thinking that uh, why don't you put your gun down. Lucy
: Why don't you put your gun down? Amy
: You're the criminal and I'm the cop, so I think I'm technically more trustworthy. Lucy
: So far I was totally minding my own business on some stupid blind date when you guys decided to rain shit all over me. Amy
: Wait. You were on a blind date? Lucy
: Whatever. Amy
: With that Russian girl? Lucy
: What? Amy
: Nothing. I just didn't know you were a... Lucy
: Why would you know? Amy
: Wow that really torpedoes my thesis.
: Oh my god! She almost kissed you! And you almost let her! Amy
: Drop it! Scud
: [to Janet
] You owe me fifty bucks.
Lucy in the Sky
: Why don't you want me to meet your friends? Amy
: I do want you to meet them. It's just... Lucy in the Sky
: It's just what? Amy
: It's just that they wouldn't understand. Lucy in the Sky
: Are you ashamed of me? Amy
: No, I'm not ashamed of you. Lucy in the Sky
: You just don't want your friends to know about me. Amy
: God, do we have to do this now? Lucy in the Sky
: It's just... I come to town, I capture you, we fuck, they rescue you, and then you're gone. I don't hear from you. It's not easy for me either, you know. I have to figure out all these nefarious plans just so I can get close to you just so we can... Amy
: I love you. Lucy in the Sky
: Really? Cause I didn't know that. Amy
: Now you do. Lucy in the Sky
: Tell me again how much time do we have.
Lucy in the Sky
: [they are just starting to make out
] How much time do we have? Amy
: Three minutes and forty-two seconds.
: [after they've rescued Amy
] Oh, Janet, I borrowed your sweater. Janet
: Oh, that's okay.
: Um... did you get blood on it? Max
: Janet! Janet