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Quotes for
Cally Harper Ewing (Character)
from "Dallas" (1978)

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"Dallas: Wedding Bell Blues (#12.16)" (1989)
Cally Harper: [Cally and J.R. lying together in bed, after having consummated their marriage] Now I truly do feel like the real Mrs. J.R. Ewing.
J.R. Ewing: Can I ask you something?
Cally Harper: Now that we're man and wife, you can ask me anything you want.
J.R. Ewing: Just how long have you been pregnant?
Cally Harper: [Hesitating] With any luck at all... about... 10 minutes...
J.R. Ewing: [J.R.'s facial expression freezes, and he hastily sits up in bed] What? I checked with your doctor!
Cally Harper: You mean Sue Ellen's doctor. We told him we were funning a little bit with you, and he was happy to oblige.
J.R. Ewing: [J.R., angry] This was Sue Ellen's idea?
Cally Harper: No, my idea, but she helped me. See, I wanted you, J.R., more than anything else, and this is the only way I could catch you.
[Tricking him into marrying her by telling him that he had impregnated her about a month earlier]
J.R. Ewing: [J.R., still angry, gets out of bed, stands up and puts his robe on] Well...
[pause]
J.R. Ewing: I gotta tip my hat to you, Cally. You just might have the stuff to make a proper Ewing wife after all.
[J.R. looks angrily at Cally another few seconds, then begins to smile and finally to laugh out loud]
Cally Harper: [Cally, up until now very nervous and scared about J.R.'s reaction, begins laughing, too] J.R.!
J.R. Ewing: [Still laughing] I'm gonna go down and get another bottle of champagne, honey.
Sue Ellen Ewing: [as J.R. opens his bedroom door and steps out into the hallway, he immediately stops laughing, as he sees Sue Ellen standing right across the hall, outside her bedroom door, smiling, with the "J.R. & Cally" heart printed balloon in her right hand. Sue Ellen chuckles at J.R] You were a little quicker than usual, J.R.
[J.R. looks furiously at Sue Ellen, after which she smiles and makes the balloon in her right hand explode by pricking to it with a sharp ring on her left hand's finger, laughing]

J.R. Ewing: [the newly wed Mr. and Mrs. J.R. Ewing - J.R. and Cally - walk down the hallway and arrive to their closed bedroom door at the Southfork Ranch] In you go, Mrs. Ewing.
Cally Harper: I want you to pick me up and carry me through the door like the old custom.
J.R. Ewing: Well, now, you've been eating a lot of wedding cake today. You wouldn't want me to hurt my back, would you?
Cally Harper: And you wouldn't wanna hurt my feelings, especially right at this moment.
Sue Ellen Ewing: [the door to the bedroom right across the hall to J.R. and Cally's bedroom opens, and Sue Ellen steps out of the bedroom and into the hallway] J.R.?
[J.R. turns around and sees - to his big surprise - Sue Ellen standing - with an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne and a balloon attached to the ice bucket with a heart with J.R. and Cally's names printed on it]
Sue Ellen Ewing: Well, I'm glad to see there's a little romance still left in you.
J.R. Ewing: [Clearly irritated] I can't believe Mama put you in the room across the hall from us!
Sue Ellen Ewing: Oh, I asked for my old room.
J.R. Ewing: Ugh, well, are you planning to peek through our keyhole all night?
Sue Ellen Ewing: [Smiling] Heh, I'm not *that* interested.
[Sue Ellen walks right over to J.R. and Cally, and gives the ice bucket with the champagne and the balloon to Cally]
Sue Ellen Ewing: This is for you, Cally.
Cally Harper: [Cally, accepting the ice bucket with the champagne and the balloon, smiles] Thank you, Sue Ellen. That's really thoughtful of you.
Sue Ellen Ewing: [to J.R] Well, aren't you going to carry your young bride across the threshold?
J.R. Ewing: [Cally opens the door to their bedroom. J.R. tears the balloon away from the ice bucket, and gives the balloon to Sue Ellen] Here. You just stay away from me!
[to Cally]
J.R. Ewing: Come on.
[J.R. takes Cally in his arms and carries her through their beedroom door]
Sue Ellen Ewing: [to Cally] Watch his back.
[J.R. slams the door with his foot]


"Dallas: The Two Mrs. Ewings (#12.11)" (1989)
Calpurnia Elizabeth 'Callie' Harper Ewing: Well, I'm real surprised. You're nothing like J.R said. He said you were a hopeless drunk and you cheated on him all the time and you neglected your child.
Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing: And I'll bet right after he said all that, you went to bed with him.
Calpurnia Elizabeth 'Callie' Harper Ewing: How did you know that?
Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing: Just a wild guess. Excuse me!


"Dallas: Heart and Soul (#14.6)" (1990)
[JR just found out Cally is pregnant as she prepares to drive off]
J.R. Ewing: If you think for one second I'm going to let you raise our child in that little hick town, you've got another thing coming!
Cally Ewing: It doesn't matter what you think, 'cause you're not the father!
[starts the ignition]
Cally Ewing: JAMES IS!
[speeds off]