Clayton Farlow
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Quotes for
Clayton Farlow (Character)
from "Dallas" (1978)

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"Dallas: Mama Dearest (#6.13)" (1982)
JR Ewing: Well, hello Clayton. Come to take mama out?
Clayton Farlow: Yes, we're going out to dinner.
Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing: She'll be down in a minute. Oh, excuse me. Clayton Farlow, Roy Ralston.
Roy Ralston: How do you do?
Clayton Farlow: Oh yeah, you're the fellow that has the talk show J.R.'s been on.
Roy Ralston: Yes I do. I'm sure you share my enthusiasm for J.R.'s appearances on my show.
Clayton Farlow: Not really.
Roy Ralston: Well, J.R.'s becoming the champion of the underdog. "I have a feeling he'll be leaving for Washington right after the next election.
Clayton Farlow: Well, Dallas's gain'll be Washington's loss!
Eleanor Southworth Ewing Farlow #1: Clayton, I'm so sorry I kept you waiting.
JR Ewing: No more than we are, mama.


"Dallas: The Dark at the End of the Tunnel (#10.27)" (1987)
[Miss Ellie just found out the Justice Department is gunning for the Ewings, causing her to break down in tears]
Clayton Farlow: J.R.! You're POISON!
[starts beating him up]
Clayton Farlow: You keep stinking up our lives! And it NEVER ENDS!
[continues punching him]


"Dallas: Blocked (#5.7)" (1981)
Clayton Farlow: There's gonna be hell to pay.


"Dallas: Last of the Good Guys (#11.26)" (1988)
Clayton Farlow: [to J.R] Look, you refugee from from a stud farm, don't push your luck!


"Dallas: Country Girl (#12.15)" (1989)
Clayton Farlow: [to Bobby] I don't why she would have any problem with your family. Outside of JR, everyone is pretty normal.


"Dallas: The Family Ewing (#9.1)" (1985)
J.R. Ewing: Of course, you didn't know. How could you have known? You were too busy rollin' around in bed with that saddle-tramp. Or maybe it was gettin' stinkin' drunk at some motel.
Clayton Farlow: J.R., stop it!
J.R. Ewing: You're never around when anybody needs you. John Ross almost died; Bobby did die. All you ever think about is yourself.
Sue Ellen Ewing: That isn't true.
J.R. Ewing: Get out of here, Sue Ellen. Go back to your cowboy, go back to your bottle. I don't care where you go, just *get out of my sight!*


"Dallas: Carousel (#12.1)" (1988)
J.R. Ewing: How could you leave that little ninny alone in the house? If she's still at Southfork when I get back there, I'm gonna have her barbecued.
Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow: You moved out of Southfork, J.R. Lucy moved in.
J.R. Ewing: Where were you when she was handing my son over to Sue Ellen?
Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow: I was flying back here to see you to make sure you were all right. I even worried about you. I shouldn't have.
J.R. Ewing: Hmm. Now that female assassin's got my son.
Clayton Farlow: He's better off with her than hidden way some school.
J.R. Ewing: You butt out of this, Clayton. We're talking family here.
Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow: J.R., you keep a civil tongue in your head. Clayton is family.
J.R. Ewing: No matter what you say, mama, he's never going to be a family to me.
Clayton Farlow: J.R., wounds are no. I'll kick your butt around this room.
J.R. Ewing: Oh, that's great, yeah. Attack me when I can't defend myself. That figures. Yeah, ha, ha.
Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow: Well, obviously, J.R., you're not suffering from any serious effect from the shooting. And there's no other reason for us to stay here.
[Miss Ellie and Clayton are leaving]
J.R. Ewing: Doesn't anybody care that I was almost killed? I was almost killed!
[Door slams]