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Quotes for
Kristin Shepard (Character)
from "Dallas" (1978)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Dallas: The Kristin Affair (#3.5)" (1979)
Kristin Shepard: [Kristen is serving hors d'oeuvres to the Cartel members in a low cut top] Mr. Bradley...
Andy Bradley: Guilty as charged.
Kristin Shepard: Mr. Lee...
Jordan Lee: Just what I like.
Kristin Shepard: Mr. Luce...
Wade Luce: I sure am, honey!
Kristin Shepard: You said it, I didn't.
Wade Luce: Hey, she's fast, too!
[more raunchy laughter]

Kristin Shepard: I need a little time to think. Can you understand that?
J.R. Ewing: I'm not exactly a patient man.

J.R. Ewing: Why you little rascal.
[stands up and walks over to Kristen]
J.R. Ewing: You're what they call a devious wench.
Kristin Shepard: Why J.R., I thought you liked devious.
J.R. Ewing: I love devious.

J.R. Ewing: Kristen, with your mind and your body, it just might take me a lifetime to figure you out.
Kristin Shepard: J.R., you just pushed all the right buttons.
[they kiss passionately]

"Dallas: Power Play (#3.16)" (1980)
Alan Beam: Was that J.R. you were talking to just now?
Kristin Shepard: Aha.
Alan Beam: Well, why didn't you put me on?
Kristin Shepard: He only had time for his most urgent messages. Flunkies aren't urgent.

Kristin Shepard: [refusing to connect Serana's phone call through to J.R] I'm sure he'll be back, but he does take long lunches. Why don't you try again in say in about... six weeks.

Alan Beam: You know how important I am to J.R.
Kristin Shepard: For now. You're replaceble.
Alan Beam: What's replaceable is a secretary who do most of her work on her back.

"Dallas: Rodeo (#3.8)" (1979)
Kristin Shepard: Sue Ellen, you'd better be careful. You're beginning to make a spectacle of yourself.
Sue Ellen Ewing: I think you've supplied enough dramatics for one afternoon. Nobody's going to pay any attention to me or what I do.
Kristin Shepard: You're forgetting J.R.
Sue Ellen Ewing: Believe me, I keep trying.

Sue Ellen Ewing: I've got to hand it to you, Kristen. It took me eight years to figure out J.R. You managed to do it in, eh, few short months.
Kristin Shepard: I don't think I quite understand what you're getting at.
Sue Ellen Ewing: I was referring to my, eh, husbands little idiosyncrasy of always wanting what someone else wants - or has.

"Dallas: A House Divided (#3.25)" (1980)
Kristin Shepard: I'll kill him. I swear I'll kill him.
Alan Beam: Take a number. There are a few of us ahead of you.

Kristin Shepard: You can't scare me.
J.R. Ewing: It takes brains to know when to be scared, honey. And since that's something in short supply around here, I'm gonna help you: now is the time to be scared.

"Dallas: No More Mister Nice Guy: Part 1 (#4.1)" (1980)
John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.: Your husband may be dying and you're out gallivanting around someplace.
Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing: I wasn't gallivanting.
John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.: Then where were you?
Kristin Shepard #2: Sue Ellen was sick.
John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.: Sick. You mean DRUNK!

"Dallas: Mother of the Year (#3.13)" (1979)
J.R. Ewing: Kristen, place an overseas call to Hank Johnson at the drilling site.
Kristin Shepard: Right away.
J.R. Ewing: What time is it over there, anyway?
J.R. Ewing: It's about two a.m.
J.R. Ewing: Good. He's half asleep, he won't lie to me.

"Dallas: The Silent Killer (#3.3)" (1979)
Sue Ellen Ewing: Don't you think we have talked about me quite long enough? How was California?
Kristin Shepard: Hm. Well, pleasant. We were in a lovely apartment hotel. But the men there were so... unsubstantial. The ones I met were either married, in therapy, gay, or all three.

"Dallas: Jock's Trial: Part 1 (#3.22)" (1980)
Kristin Shepard: I'm sorry, J.R., the only thing I had to eat in the kitchen was caviar.
J.R. Ewing: Kristen, when you learned about all the ways to please a man, you got an A in bedroom and flunked kitchen.
Kristin Shepard: We'll, I'd learn if I had a man to cook for.

"Dallas: Ellie Saves the Day (#3.12)" (1979)
J.R. Ewing: [on phone] Hank, if you don't strike oil within the next week, Ewing Oil is out of business and so are you, boy!
[hangs up]
J.R. Ewing: Typhoon!
Kristin Shepard: J.R., I'm sorry.
J.R. Ewing: Well, that's not for you to worry about, I'll write you a nice reference.
J.R. Ewing: You know I'd work for you for nothing.
J.R. Ewing: I know it, I know it, I know it.
Kristin Shepard: Well maybe Mr. Leland will give you an extension on the Southfork mortgage. It's due next week.
J.R. Ewing: Now listen, that is defeatist talk, I don't want to hear any more about it. Why don't you go do some filing or something? I got some phonecalls to make.

"Dallas: Sue Ellen's Sister (#2.19)" (1979)
Kristin Shepard: I keep telling you, Sue Ellen, I know exactly what I'm going to do with my life. And being hurt is just not part of the plan.

"Dallas: Jenna's Return (#3.18)" (1980)
J.R. Ewing: A jealous woman is never a very pretty sight.
Kristin Shepard: And what about a jealous man? Is that what I have to do to get your attention? Find myself a lover?
J.R. Ewing: It might be worth a try. I'll see you in the morning.

"Dallas: Who Done It? (#4.4)" (1980)
Kristin Shepard: I can see the headline now, "Jock Ewing's Grandson, JAIL BABY!"