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Quotes for
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson (Character)
from "Queer as Folk" (2000)

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"Queer as Folk: The Art of Desperation (#1.6)" (2001)
Justin Taylor: [Justin sees Melanie and Lindsay from across the street. To Daphne] Look! That's them. Brian's lesbians.
[crossing the street]
Justin Taylor: Hey. Hey! How's it going?
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: I'm sorry, do we know you?
Justin Taylor: I'm Justin. Brian's friend. I was there the night Gus was born. I named him.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Yeah...
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Oh, right! So when Gus ends up pumping gas, we'll have you to thank.
[Lindsay laughs.]
Justin Taylor: This is Daphne.
Daphne Chanders: Hi. I'm not lesbian, but I, I... I'm a big fan.
[Lindsay and Melanie don't know what to say.]
Justin Taylor: He's gotten so big already.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Oh, well, you would too if all you did was sleep and eat all day.
Daphne Chanders: He does.
Justin Taylor: He's like the cutest baby I've ever seen. If you ever need a babysitter...
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Don't say that unless you mean it.
Justin Taylor: And if you need any help carrying stuff to the car, I'll be glad to be of...
[Lindsay immediately hands the bags over to Justin.]
Justin Taylor: [slowly] ...assistance.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Wow, you're good for a thousand and one uses.
Daphne Chanders: I'll see you later.
Justin Taylor: I don't know.

Brian: [Brian knocks on the door. Melanie opens it, and a doll greets her.] I got something for Gus.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: [laughing] That's so sweet. We'll call Michael later to thank him.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: How long have you been drawing?
Justin Taylor: My Mom brought me crayons when I was still in the crib. I never stopped.
Brian: What's he doing here?
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: We ran into each other on the street.
Justin Taylor: It was like this weird coincidence.
Brian: I bet.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: [looking at Justin's drawings] You know, these are good!
Justin Taylor: That's what my Mother says.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Lindsay's an art teacher.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: For someone your age, you have an amazing feel for the human form.
Brian: I've noticed that myself.
[throws a teddy bear at Justin]

Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: You know, there's going to be an art show at G.L.C.
Justin Taylor: What's that?
Brian: The Gay and Lesbian Center.
[Justin frowns.]
Brian: Safe haven for fags who can't get laid.

Brian: Good. Give him some activity so he'll stop stalking me.
[throws the bear at him again]
Justin Taylor: Don't flatter yourself.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: [laughs] Oh, we like Justin. Justin can stay.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: We'll make sure everyone comes.
[to Brian]
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: including you.
Brian: Bitch.

Justin Taylor: Do you think Brian's gonna come?
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: [pausing] Don't expect too much from him, okay?
Justin Taylor: What's too much?
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Anything at all. You'll have lots of relationships, Justin, with lots of interesting people. I know you don't believe that right now, but you will.
Justin Taylor: I just want him to see his picture framed, that's all.

Brian: Fuck groups.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: I thought you did.
Brian: Occasionally. But it's by invitation... only.

Michael: Lindsay, this is David.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Nice to meet you!
Dr. David Cameron: Nice to meet you!
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: [carrying Gus, greeting from afar] Whoa, Michael!
Michael: [freezes] Let's go check out the vagina sculptures first, get it over with.

Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Everyone loves your drawings!
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Yeah, check out the food?
Justin Taylor: I'm not hungry.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Okay, how about the cute guys? There are some right over there just about your age.
[Justin looks over to the entrance, and he sees the love of his life.]
Justin Taylor: [smiles] He's here.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: [sarcastically] Hmmm... Yippee.


"Queer as Folk: Premiere (#1.1)" (2000)
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Want to hold him?
[Brian approaches the baby, holding him.]
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Ca... Careful! Don't drop him.
Brian: That is just what I was planning on doing.

Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: We've been thinking of names. Mel wants to call him Abraham after her grandfather, but I like Gus.
[Brian looks at his son, then over to Justin.]
Brian: What do you think?
Justin: You wouldn't survive a day in school being named Abraham, but I guess Gus is okay.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Thank you very much, and who the hell are you?
Brian: His name's... Juh...
Michael Novotny: Justin.
Brian: You were on the phone when he shot his load all over me.
Lesbians In The Room: Ugh...
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Oh, Brian!
Brian: He can't help it. He's only seventeen.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: So you and Lindsay each had an infant tonight.
Brian: But mine doesn't suck on my tits, unless I want him to.
[looking back at Gus]
Brian: Gus! It's a good butch name. Come on Gus; give your daddy a smile.

Brian: Well, here we are. Ma and Pa.
[Lindsay starts to cry.]
Brian: Hey...
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Don't mind me. I'm just feeling a little... vulnerable.
Brian: I promise not to tell.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Who would have thought? You and me, parents?
Brian: It's pretty scary, boys and girls. Think it's too late to return it?
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: [whispering] We could try...
[laughing]
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: I guess this means we're finally grown-ups.
Brian: Don't say that Wendy! We'll never grow up!
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Don't be scared. Hell, if our parents could fuck up, so could we.

Brian Kinney: A million dollars?
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: That's the general idea.
Brian Kinney: A million fucking dollars?
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Brian, please? You'll wake the baby.
Brian Kinney: Well the answer is no. Definitely not.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: I don't understand the problem. I mean, Lindsay told me you offered to help support him.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: It was very generous.
Brian Kinney: Well that's different than a life insurance policy.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: It's simply in case something happens to you.
Brian Kinney: Like I'm decapitated on a railroad crossing? Or burned beyond recognition in some gas explosion? You know, I can just imagine the grisly deaths you've conjured up for me.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Like in case you get sick.
Brian Kinney: [pausing] ...Ah. Even better.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Considering your life. When's the last time you're tested.
Brian Kinney: Six months ago! I was negative.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: That's twenty-six weeks and a hundred and eighty-two one-night stands.
Brian Kinney: You know I've always admired people who can multiply in their heads. And I'm always careful.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Look, this isn't for us. It's for our son. We need to make sure he'll be provided for.
Brian Kinney: And all I have to do is die.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Hopefully, not before you sign these papers.
[smug-smiling at Brian]

Brian: [Lindsey has just given birth to Brian's son, Gus] Alone at last!
[jumps on the hospital bed]
Lindsay: Careful!
Brian: Well here we are, maw and paw.
[Lindsay starts crying]
Brian: Hey!
[strokes her cheek]
Lindsay: Don't mind me, just feeling a little vulnerable.
Brian: I promise not to tell.
Lindsay: Who woulda thought, you and me, parents!
Brian: It's pretty scary, boys and girls. You think it's too late to return it?
Lindsay: We could try!
[they laugh]
Lindsay: I guess this means we're finally grownups.
Brian: Don't say that, Wendy, we'll never grow up!
Lindsay: Don't be scared. Hell, if our parents could fuck up, so can we!
Brian: I don't want you to worry. About money, I mean. If you need anything...
Lindsay: No, we'll be alright. But thanks.
[kisses his cheek]
Brian: I would have fucked you, ya know. If I wasn't afraid your lover'd beat the shit out of me.
Lindsay: Stop!
Brian: I mean it. She could take on Oscar de la Renta!
Lindsay: You mean La Hoya.
[she mock-punches his jaw]
Brian: Whatever.
Lindsay: Well, you had plenty of chances.
Brian: I took advantage of a few, if I recall.
Lindsay: It wasn't half bad!
Brian: Now you tell me? You mean I could have been straight this whole time?
Lindsay: I wouldn't say that!
Brian: I guess it's just as well.
[they kiss]


"Queer as Folk: No Bris, No Shirt, No Service (#1.3)" (2000)
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: What the hell do you think you're doing? Barging in here, interrupting a religious ceremony?
Brian: You should have asked my permission first!
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: For what?
Brian: To circumcise my son!
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: We don't have to ask your permission. We're the parents!
Brian: And I'm the biological father. And that gives me more rights than you.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: I see someone's been studying his law.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Look, this is no time to be having this conversation! We have a house full of guests.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Yeah, and since when did you start caring about your son? Considering you haven't been to see him once since he was born.
Brian: Well, I'm not exactly welcome.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Oh, bull shit! You've been too busy fucking everything that moves!
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Could we please stop this? Why does it matter to you if Gus is circumcised?
Brian: It matters that he's been in this world less than a week and already there are people who won't accept him for the way he is. Who'd even mutilate him rather than let him be the way he is. The way he was born. Well, I'm not gonna let that happen.

Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: [Melanie and Lindsay walk in, Melanie's pissed.] Should I freeze this or toss it?
[Melanie slams the dish on the counter, then storms to the dining room.]
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: I'd rather not have it around when i'm trying to get back into shape...
[Lindsay walks into the dining room.]
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: So how long is this gonna go on? Or do you plan never to speak to me ever again?
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: [slams dish] What would you like me to say?
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Anything.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: All right, how about "I have a house full of uneaten cold cuts and an uncircumcised son"! How's that?
[picks up some plates and storms to the kitchen]
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: [sips some orange juice] Look,
[follows Melanie into the kitchen]
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Brian's gonna take out the insurance policy. At least he's agreed to do that. That's something, isn't it?
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Oh, my consolation prize!
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Well, it was important enough to you last week!
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: So was this afternoon. But now I have been humiliated in front of our friends, my relatives, Rabbi Protesh... Where's the goddamn plastic wrap?
[Lindsay hands it to her, Melanie snatches out of Lindsay's hand.]
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: And you let him do it!
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Me?
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: You're the one who decided to call off the brisk. Of course, I know it's not very important to you or Brian but it happens to be a very important ritual in my family.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: You know there are a lot of men who think circumcision is a cruel and barbaric practice?
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: [slams the refrigerator shut] I don't care what men think about their dicks! I care that you put Brian before me. But, you know, why should I be surprised? You always have!
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Oh, for Christ's sake, are we really gonna go through this again? I don't want to have this conversation!
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Yeah, and I didn't want Brian to be the baby's father in the first place. But no, you had to have it your way. It had to be Brian or no one! So now he's a part of our lives forever! Whether we like it or not!

Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Look, it doesn't matter who's right. We can't allow Brian to come between us as much as he'd like to.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: And you know he would.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Even if he is the Father, we're still the parents. You and me. Gus belongs to us. And that's why we had him.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: No, you had him. Aside from saying 'push and breathe' I really don't have that much to do with it.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: You had everything to do with it. I never would have had him without you. Just remember that next time you're wondering who comes first.


"Queer as Folk: Now Approaching... The Line (#1.5)" (2000)
Tattoo: [as he leaves] We'll do this again.
Brian Kinney: [sarcastically] Yeah, sure.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Let me guess. Your Italian tutor?
[handing Brian him the baby dummy]
Brian Kinney: Grazie.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: You know if you visited once in a while, we wouldn't need to drop by unannounced.
Brian Kinney: Talk to your girlfriend.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: You can't exactly blame her. The way you behave.
Brian Kinney: She's just jealous, because she thinks you love me more than you love her. And she's right.

Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Listen, about Friday... you don't have any plans do you?
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Not that I know of?
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Not working late?
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: No.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: That's good... Because I invited Brian for dinner.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Oh, Christ!
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: How about I make that chicken you like?
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Forget it. I wouldn't let him touch my silverware knowing where his hands have been.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: You know, I wish the two of you would make the slightest effort to get along, so I don't have to be the smiling lesbian in the middle.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Who asked you to be? Just leave him out of my life.

Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: [Brian is knocking at Lindsay's door. Lindsey opens the curtain, sees Brian] The kitchen's closed.
Brian Kinney: [Lindsay walks away. Brian knocks again. Lindsay finally opens the door.] Were you sleeping?
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: We have a newborn here. We never sleep.
Brian Kinney: Sorry I missed dinner.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Don't apologize, it doesn't become you. Don't think you can flash that smile and get away with it. That might have been cute at twenty but at thirty it's starting to get pathetic.
Brian Kinney: Twenty-nine.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: [sighs] Have you eaten?
Brian Kinney: No.
[flashing that smile]
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Come on.


"Queer as Folk: Queens of the Road (#1.10)" (2001)
Brian: [after all his clothes were stolen] Twelve Armani suits, four Gucci belts, and six pairs of Prada shoes, gone. You know, I'm starting to suspect gay-on-gay crime.
Lindsay Peterson: Well, I wouldn't be surprised. You've have more visitors than Disney World.

Lindsay Peterson: I guess that's what happens after six years. You just...
Melanie Marcus: ...Become one.


"Queer as Folk: Accentuate the Positive (#2.9)" (2002)
Ted: I took viagra last night. It's been 18 hours and it won't go down. What am I going to do?
Emmett: Have you tried soaking it?
Lindsay: How about a cold shower?
Brian: How about scaring it?
Justin: That's hiccups.
Brian: Boo!
Ted: Thank you all for caring.
Melanie: What about something that would completely turn you off?
Brian: That's a great idea, why don't you two show him your tits.


"Queer as Folk: Poster May Lead to the Truth (#3.11)" (2003)
Lindsay Peterson: You know how Melanie likes to watch money.
Melanie Marcus: . I-I-Is that an anti-Semitic remark?


"Queer as Folk: Stop Hurting Us (#3.7)" (2003)
[Melanie is in the bathroom taking a pregnancy test]
Lindsay: [standing outside the bathroom] You're not supposed to test everytime you tinkle!
Melanie: Says who?
Lindsay: [laughing] You have to let Mother Nature take her course in her own sweet time!
Melanie: [poking her head out of the bathroom] Easy for her to say! She's already a mother!


"Queer as Folk: Mad Dog Kinney (#3.1)" (2003)
Lindsay: [discussing Justin leaving] Well, it's not just me, it's everyone. The way you treated him. Refusing to make even the slightest romantic gesture. It's no wonder he found someone else. However, it's not too late.
Brian: For what?
Lindsay: To get him back.
[Brian rolls his eyes at her]
Lindsay: Oh, don't give me that fucking superior sneer. All you have to do is tell him you love him. It's not too much to ask. A small sacrifice.
Brian: And then we could be a happy couple. Like you and Melanie. Or Mikey and the professor. Or, God help us, Ted and Emmett.


"Queer as Folk: There's Nothing Noble About Being Poor (#3.5)" (2003)
Lindsay: Jesus Brian, you know how Stockwell feels about gay people. How could you sell your soul to the devil?
Brian: I haven't sold my soul, I'm just billing for time and expenses.


"Queer as Folk: Ted's Not Dead (#1.4)" (2000)
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: I just want you to know that Melanie feels terrible about what she said.
Brian Kinney: Do you think I care?
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Look, it's upsetting for all of us. But at a time like this, we could try showing a little compassion. Especially for Ted. Is there any word?
Brian Kinney: The machines say he's still alive.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Poor guy.
Brian Kinney: What about us?
[Lindsay looks at Brian.]
Brian Kinney: We don't have any beeps, or wires, or little white dots telling us we're alive, so how do we know? I guess we just take each other's word.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Maybe we know from what people expect from us. I mean, take Gus. He needs me to feed him, to... change him. Knowing that tells me I'm alive. So for me, right now, it's him.
Brian Kinney: What about me?
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Ted needs you now. So maybe that's what tells you you're alive. You'll do the right thing. Whatever it is.
Brian Kinney: You don't know that.