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Quotes for
Dr. David Cameron (Character)
from "Queer as Folk" (2000)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Queer as Folk: Smells Like Codependence (#1.7)" (2001)
Michael Novotny: [voice-over narration] Everybody's always wishing they had a boyfriend. We all picture how he'd look, how he'd sound, how nice it'd be to have someone to share your life, your dreams, your dental floss...
Dr. David Cameron: [referring to the trick who's cruising them] Little disconcerting when you're trying to eat.
Michael Novotny: [voice-over narration] ...so how come so few of us have one? That's because we're lying. Most of us couldn't commit to a house plant, how are we supposed to commit to having a boyfriend?
[to David]
Michael Novotny: You should see what it's like when Brian comes here. I'm so sorry, I promised I would not mention his name for ten minutes.
Dr. David Cameron: I'd settle for five.
[Michael smiles]
Dr. David Cameron: And you've gotta stop smiling like that.
Michael Novotny: [smiles] Like what?
Dr. David Cameron: Like that. It makes me want to come across the table and eat you like a dessert.
Michael Novotny: Would you like some whip cream with that, Sir?

Michael Novotny: Ma, this is David. And I... I thought tonight was your night off.
Dr. David Cameron: I, ah... Loraine got food poisoning.
[pointing to the plate]
Dr. David Cameron: I think it was the shish kebab.
[David immediately drops the shish kebab that he was about to eat, terrified.]
Dr. David Cameron: [laughing] Just kidding! Okay, I gotta get cranking. I got a lot of hungry boys to feed.

Michael Novotny: [David approaches Michael with a bouquet of flowers.] Hi.
[David kisses Michael on the lips. Michael is looking at the flowers]
Michael Novotny: These are great. My Mom will love these.
Dr. David Cameron: [laughs] Hers are in the car; those are for you.
Emmett Honeycutt: [comes over to get the flowers, whispering] The second sign: flowers.
[to David]
Emmett Honeycutt: I'll just put these in some water.
Dr. David Cameron: [puzzled] Everything alright?
Brian Kinney: He's allergic to boyfriends bringing bouquets.

Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: [David is having dinner at Michael's Mom's place] Have some more carbonara, David.
Dr. David Cameron: Hmmm... I'm stuffed. Thanks.
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: Oh, come on. With that body, you can afford to carbo load.
Vic Grassi: Yeah, you must work out all the time.
Dr. David Cameron: Well, when I can.
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: Feel those biceps.
[reaching over to touch David's arm]
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: I could never resist a hard body.
[laughing]
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: Like mother, like son.
Vic Grassi: Like uncle.
Michael Novotny: Like, will you two please leave him alone? Next you'll be asking what kind of car he drives and how much he makes.
[David laughs. Debbie and Vic look at him, staring with anticipation.]
Dr. David Cameron: I drive a Jag, and I'm comfortable.
Vic Grassi: Michael, if you don't marry this man immediately, I will!
Dr. David Cameron: I think I will have a little more.
Michael Novotny: Me too.

Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: Just like "Lady And The Tramp".
Dr. David Cameron: "Lady And The Tramp"?
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: It's Michael's favorite movie.
Michael Novotny: When I was nine!
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: You see Lady and Tramp go on this date to an Italian restaurant. And then the waiter...
Vic Grassi: Tony.
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: What else would his name be?
[laughs]
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: ...brings over this big bowl of spaghetti and meat balls. And... ehm, and they put their heads in the bowl... They're... they're dogs.
[David laughs.]
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: And they come up with this one single strand of spaghetti. And then they chew, and they chew and...
Vic Grassi: ...and they get closer, and closer...
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: ...until finally their lips meet.
Michael Novotny: [to David] It is, in my estimation, the greatest screen kiss ever.

Dr. David Cameron: [David and Michael are making out in Michael's old room.] I got a solution. I got a solution. How would you like to go away with me for the weekend?
Michael Novotny: Huh?
Dr. David Cameron: I got a cabin up in the woods.
Michael Novotny: Will we get to see anything besides the bedroom ceiling?
Dr. David Cameron: [laughing] Word of honor. What do you say?
[Michael looks into David's eyes blankly, doesn't know what to say.]
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: [shouting] Say "yes", you little asshole, or I'll disown you!
[David laughs again.]
Michael Novotny: Like I said, it's a very small house.

[last lines]
Dr. David Cameron: [to Brian about Michael] Maybe I should just disappear. You'd probably like that and he probably wouldn't think twice about it. But I'm not going to. I'm not going to disappear. Because I want him. Even more than you don't want me to have him. So if you're really his best friend, give him a chance to be happy. To have a life. His own life. Let him go.


"Queer as Folk: The Art of Desperation (#1.6)" (2001)
Dr. David Cameron: [Michael is waiting for David in his office, when he walks in.] I didn't realize we'd scheduled a follow-up visit.
Michael: We didn't. I told them it was an emergency.
Dr. David Cameron: What's the problem?
Michael: I'm a jerk. Can you adjust that?
Dr. David Cameron: Provided it's not a permanent condition.
Michael: See, the thing is, I don't date very often. You know, real, eat-a-meal, talk, stare-into-each-other's-eyes kinda date. So I... I kind of freaked. And I'm sorry, I was such an asshole.
Dr. David Cameron: You weren't an asshole.
Michael: Believe me, I've seen assholes, and...
[realizing the pun]
Michael: I mean..., ah..., I feel shitty about it..., and I really like you. And I think you might actually have liked me.
Dr. David Cameron: I do like you.
Michael: You do? Well, do you think we could start over?
Dr. David Cameron: Sit down. You're adorable, you know that?

Dr. David Cameron: I've never seen so many comic books.
Michael: That's what everybody I bring home says. I mean, people have told me that.
Dr. David Cameron: Uh-hmm. Who's the big fella?
Michael: Captain Astro. Uhm, my friend Emmett, he's staying with me. It was supposed to be a temporary thing but he's become sort of a squatter, may come home at any time, so sorry about that.
Dr. David Cameron: You don't have to apologize for everything.
Michael: I know, I do that. I'm sorry.

Emmett Honeycutt: [Emmett meets David for the first time.] Oh my God. That guy over there looks exactly like Matthew McConaughey. Maybe he smokes pot, naked.
[to David]
Emmett Honeycutt: Excuse me!
Dr. David Cameron: [laughs] He doesn't hold anything back.
Michael: He was toning it down for you.
Brian: [sits on Michael's lap] Where the fuck have you been?
Michael: Brian, this is David.
Brian: Oh, fuck me, the new beau!
Dr. David Cameron: I've heard a lot about you.
Brian: I've heard a lot about you too. Sixteen right, eleven left?
Dr. David Cameron: Excuse me?
Michael: Nothing.
[to Brian]
Michael: You're tweaked, what are you on?
Brian: Oh, E, K, G.H.B. Most of the letters on "Sesame Street".
Michael: You'll get dehydrated, taking all that shit. I'm gonna get you some water.
[to David]
Michael: You want a beer?
Dr. David Cameron: Sure.
[Michael leaves]
Dr. David Cameron: You've got him well trained.
Brian: Well, he takes care of me, and I take care of him. So, Doc, do you fuck all of your patients?
Dr. David Cameron: Well, if you're referring to Michael I released him from my care, before we went out together. What about you? What do you do?
Brian: Advertising.
Dr. David Cameron: Well, you must know a thing or two about screwing people yourself.
Brian: Yeah, I could do it in my sleep.
Dr. David Cameron: I bet you could.

Michael: Lindsay, this is David.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Nice to meet you!
Dr. David Cameron: Nice to meet you!
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: [carrying Gus, greeting from afar] Whoa, Michael!
Michael: [freezes] Let's go check out the vagina sculptures first, get it over with.

Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: [looking at the boys] "The Brian And Michael Show", blah blah blah. Stuck in perpetual reruns.
Dr. David Cameron: Was it always like that? Michael running after him?
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: It's the greatest love story never told, trust me. What was your name?
Dr. David Cameron: David.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Melanie. Trust me, David, long after you're gone, he'll still have Michael. Brian's little acolyte, poor guy. But don't worry, Michael can wait forever; Brian will never fuck him. Pardon my French.

Dr. David Cameron: So I suppose I just keep him company while Michael waits.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Oh. Oh... Oh, shit! Oh... You're with Michael?
Dr. David Cameron: [nodding] Yeah.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Ehm... Oh, Jesus, I, I... I'm sorry. I... I... I didn't mean that, I... I mean... Well I... I mean, Brian's the one that's always showing up with some new guy, so I just assumed that, uhm...
Dr. David Cameron: Don't worry about it.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Well, you know, they... they're... They love each other as friends, but that's it. That's really, that's all it is.
Dr. David Cameron: Really? It's not like I didn't know.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Do you... want a shrimp ball?
Dr. David Cameron: No... thanks.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Fuck.

[last lines]
Dr. David Cameron: Who are you thinking about?
Michael: What?
Dr. David Cameron: When you close your eyes, who are you thinking about?


"Queer as Folk: Now Approaching... The Line (#1.5)" (2000)
Dr. David Cameron: Can you lie down on your back?
Michael Novotny: Mmm... Sure. On my back. This is my favorite position. I'm just kidding.

Dr. David Cameron: [referring to Tracy] She's cute.
Michael Novotny: Yeah. What a coincidence running into you here.
Dr. David Cameron: Well, that's not really coincidence. You told me where you worked, remember?
Michael Novotny: Oh, yeah, right. Well, that's really nice, coming all this way just to see how I am.
Dr. David Cameron: Nothing is more important than my patients' health and well-being. I also wanted to get a new screwdriver.
Michael Novotny: Oh. Well, let me show you where the hardware department. We have a complete line of tools, all at everyday low prices.
Dr. David Cameron: And I wanted to, ah... ask you if you'd like to have dinner with me.
Michael Novotny: Huh?
Dr. David Cameron: Dinner. You know, where you sit at the table and eat food from a plate?

Michael Novotny: [after David asks him out] How did you...?
Dr. David Cameron: Remember that little problem you had in my table?
Michael Novotny: Yeah, but you said that even happens to football players.
Dr. David Cameron: Only the gay ones.

Dr. David Cameron: Is that Hugo Boss?
Michael Novotny: [turning to see his back] Where?
Dr. David Cameron: [pointing at Michael] Your jacket.
Michael Novotny: Oh, umm, yeah.
[referring to the jacket]
Michael Novotny: It's not even mine. It belongs to my friend Brian.
Dr. David Cameron: I bet he doesn't look half as good in it as you.
Michael Novotny: He looks better.
Dr. David Cameron: I find that hard to believe.
Michael Novotny: He can look good in anything. He even looks good in nothing.
Dr. David Cameron: Good body?
Michael Novotny: Awesome. When he walks into Babylon, heads turn like police lights just to look at him.
Dr. David Cameron: Sounds like I could make a fortune doing neck adjustments.


"Queer as Folk: Queens of the Road (#1.10)" (2001)
[first lines]
Dr. David Cameron: Michael, I have this fantasy.
Michael Novotny: Uh-huh.
Dr. David Cameron: It's Sunday morning and I'm lying in bed. And I hear the little thump of the newspaper, and the sun's just coming through the window.
Michael Novotny: Yeah?
Dr. David Cameron: And in the distance... I hear the sound of someone singing very quietly... because they don't want to wake me up.
Michael Novotny: Well, that's considerate, I think.
Dr. David Cameron: And as I look across the room... I see through the frosted glass of the shower, the shape of the guy that I love.
Michael Novotny: Am I conditioning my hair?
Dr. David Cameron: I'm being serious, Michael.
Michael Novotny: I know. I'm sorry. It sounds nice.
Dr. David Cameron: It is nice. It can be nice. It will be nice when you move in with me.
Michael Novotny: Hey, what do you know? "X-Men"'s out on D.V.D.

[last lines]
Dr. David Cameron: Just what I had in mind.


"Queer as Folk: Daddy Dearest (Sonny Boy) (#1.9)" (2001)
[last lines]
Michael: Look, I wanted to talk to you about...
Dr. David Cameron: I wanna...
Michael: You... You first.
Dr. David Cameron: Go, go.
Michael: Look, I know I disappointed you.
Dr. David Cameron: No, I let you down.
Michael: I'm an idiot and I...
Dr. David Cameron: I'm a jerk. I was insensitive. I should've been more sensitive.
Michael: I don't really fit in with your friends. I don't know if I ever will.
Dr. David Cameron: When two live in two separate places...
Michael: We're from two totally different worlds.
Dr. David Cameron: There's only one thing that we should do.
Michael: I know, I agree.
Dr. David Cameron: There's no other choice.
Michael: So, this is it. It's over.
Dr. David Cameron: Over? What's over? I want you to move in with me.


"Queer as Folk: The Ties That Bind (#1.15)" (2001)
Dr. David Cameron: How came you're sitting here on the sideline?
Michael Novotny: I told you, I can't scate.
Dr. David Cameron: Well, I'll help you.
Michael Novotny: If God wanted me to be on ice, he'd have made me a Vodka martini.


"Queer as Folk: Surprise! (#1.11)" (2001)
Dr. David Cameron: [answering the phone] Hello...? Hello...? Michael, I have caller I.D.
Michael: I must have pushed the wrong button.