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Quotes for
Dr. David Cameron (Character)
from "Queer as Folk" (2000)

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"Queer as Folk: Smells Like Codependence (#1.7)" (2001)
Michael Novotny: [voice-over narration] Everybody's always wishing they had a boyfriend. We all picture how he'd look, how he'd sound, how nice it'd be to have someone to share your life, your dreams, your dental floss...
Dr. David Cameron: [referring to the trick who's cruising them] Little disconcerting when you're trying to eat.
Michael Novotny: [voice-over narration] how come so few of us have one? That's because we're lying. Most of us couldn't commit to a house plant, how are we supposed to commit to having a boyfriend?
[to David]
Michael Novotny: You should see what it's like when Brian comes here. I'm so sorry, I promised I would not mention his name for ten minutes.
Dr. David Cameron: I'd settle for five.
[Michael smiles]
Dr. David Cameron: And you've gotta stop smiling like that.
Michael Novotny: [smiles] Like what?
Dr. David Cameron: Like that. It makes me want to come across the table and eat you like a dessert.
Michael Novotny: Would you like some whip cream with that, Sir?

Michael Novotny: Ma, this is David. And I... I thought tonight was your night off.
Dr. David Cameron: I, ah... Loraine got food poisoning.
[pointing to the plate]
Dr. David Cameron: I think it was the shish kebab.
[David immediately drops the shish kebab that he was about to eat, terrified.]
Dr. David Cameron: [laughing] Just kidding! Okay, I gotta get cranking. I got a lot of hungry boys to feed.

Michael Novotny: [David approaches Michael with a bouquet of flowers.] Hi.
[David kisses Michael on the lips. Michael is looking at the flowers]
Michael Novotny: These are great. My Mom will love these.
Dr. David Cameron: [laughs] Hers are in the car; those are for you.
Emmett Honeycutt: [comes over to get the flowers, whispering] The second sign: flowers.
[to David]
Emmett Honeycutt: I'll just put these in some water.
Dr. David Cameron: [puzzled] Everything alright?
Brian Kinney: He's allergic to boyfriends bringing bouquets.

Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: [David is having dinner at Michael's Mom's place] Have some more carbonara, David.
Dr. David Cameron: Hmmm... I'm stuffed. Thanks.
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: Oh, come on. With that body, you can afford to carbo load.
Vic Grassi: Yeah, you must work out all the time.
Dr. David Cameron: Well, when I can.
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: Feel those biceps.
[reaching over to touch David's arm]
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: I could never resist a hard body.
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: Like mother, like son.
Vic Grassi: Like uncle.
Michael Novotny: Like, will you two please leave him alone? Next you'll be asking what kind of car he drives and how much he makes.
[David laughs. Debbie and Vic look at him, staring with anticipation.]
Dr. David Cameron: I drive a Jag, and I'm comfortable.
Vic Grassi: Michael, if you don't marry this man immediately, I will!
Dr. David Cameron: I think I will have a little more.
Michael Novotny: Me too.

Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: Just like "Lady And The Tramp".
Dr. David Cameron: "Lady And The Tramp"?
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: It's Michael's favorite movie.
Michael Novotny: When I was nine!
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: You see Lady and Tramp go on this date to an Italian restaurant. And then the waiter...
Vic Grassi: Tony.
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: What else would his name be?
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: ...brings over this big bowl of spaghetti and meat balls. And... ehm, and they put their heads in the bowl... They're... they're dogs.
[David laughs.]
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: And they come up with this one single strand of spaghetti. And then they chew, and they chew and...
Vic Grassi: ...and they get closer, and closer...
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: ...until finally their lips meet.
Michael Novotny: [to David] It is, in my estimation, the greatest screen kiss ever.

Dr. David Cameron: [David and Michael are making out in Michael's old room.] I got a solution. I got a solution. How would you like to go away with me for the weekend?
Michael Novotny: Huh?
Dr. David Cameron: I got a cabin up in the woods.
Michael Novotny: Will we get to see anything besides the bedroom ceiling?
Dr. David Cameron: [laughing] Word of honor. What do you say?
[Michael looks into David's eyes blankly, doesn't know what to say.]
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: [shouting] Say "yes", you little asshole, or I'll disown you!
[David laughs again.]
Michael Novotny: Like I said, it's a very small house.

[last lines]
Dr. David Cameron: [to Brian about Michael] Maybe I should just disappear. You'd probably like that and he probably wouldn't think twice about it. But I'm not going to. I'm not going to disappear. Because I want him. Even more than you don't want me to have him. So if you're really his best friend, give him a chance to be happy. To have a life. His own life. Let him go.

"Queer as Folk: The Art of Desperation (#1.6)" (2001)
Dr. David Cameron: [Michael is waiting for David in his office, when he walks in.] I didn't realize we'd scheduled a follow-up visit.
Michael: We didn't. I told them it was an emergency.
Dr. David Cameron: What's the problem?
Michael: I'm a jerk. Can you adjust that?
Dr. David Cameron: Provided it's not a permanent condition.
Michael: See, the thing is, I don't date very often. You know, real, eat-a-meal, talk, stare-into-each-other's-eyes kinda date. So I... I kind of freaked. And I'm sorry, I was such an asshole.
Dr. David Cameron: You weren't an asshole.
Michael: Believe me, I've seen assholes, and...
[realizing the pun]
Michael: I mean..., ah..., I feel shitty about it..., and I really like you. And I think you might actually have liked me.
Dr. David Cameron: I do like you.
Michael: You do? Well, do you think we could start over?
Dr. David Cameron: Sit down. You're adorable, you know that?

Dr. David Cameron: I've never seen so many comic books.
Michael: That's what everybody I bring home says. I mean, people have told me that.
Dr. David Cameron: Uh-hmm. Who's the big fella?
Michael: Captain Astro. Uhm, my friend Emmett, he's staying with me. It was supposed to be a temporary thing but he's become sort of a squatter, may come home at any time, so sorry about that.
Dr. David Cameron: You don't have to apologize for everything.
Michael: I know, I do that. I'm sorry.

Emmett Honeycutt: [Emmett meets David for the first time.] Oh my God. That guy over there looks exactly like Matthew McConaughey. Maybe he smokes pot, naked.
[to David]
Emmett Honeycutt: Excuse me!
Dr. David Cameron: [laughs] He doesn't hold anything back.
Michael: He was toning it down for you.
Brian: [sits on Michael's lap] Where the fuck have you been?
Michael: Brian, this is David.
Brian: Oh, fuck me, the new beau!
Dr. David Cameron: I've heard a lot about you.
Brian: I've heard a lot about you too. Sixteen right, eleven left?
Dr. David Cameron: Excuse me?
Michael: Nothing.
[to Brian]
Michael: You're tweaked, what are you on?
Brian: Oh, E, K, G.H.B. Most of the letters on "Sesame Street".
Michael: You'll get dehydrated, taking all that shit. I'm gonna get you some water.
[to David]
Michael: You want a beer?
Dr. David Cameron: Sure.
[Michael leaves]
Dr. David Cameron: You've got him well trained.
Brian: Well, he takes care of me, and I take care of him. So, Doc, do you fuck all of your patients?
Dr. David Cameron: Well, if you're referring to Michael I released him from my care, before we went out together. What about you? What do you do?
Brian: Advertising.
Dr. David Cameron: Well, you must know a thing or two about screwing people yourself.
Brian: Yeah, I could do it in my sleep.
Dr. David Cameron: I bet you could.

Michael: Lindsay, this is David.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson: Nice to meet you!
Dr. David Cameron: Nice to meet you!
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: [carrying Gus, greeting from afar] Whoa, Michael!
Michael: [freezes] Let's go check out the vagina sculptures first, get it over with.

Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: [looking at the boys] "The Brian And Michael Show", blah blah blah. Stuck in perpetual reruns.
Dr. David Cameron: Was it always like that? Michael running after him?
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: It's the greatest love story never told, trust me. What was your name?
Dr. David Cameron: David.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Melanie. Trust me, David, long after you're gone, he'll still have Michael. Brian's little acolyte, poor guy. But don't worry, Michael can wait forever; Brian will never fuck him. Pardon my French.

Dr. David Cameron: So I suppose I just keep him company while Michael waits.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Oh. Oh... Oh, shit! Oh... You're with Michael?
Dr. David Cameron: [nodding] Yeah.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Ehm... Oh, Jesus, I, I... I'm sorry. I... I... I didn't mean that, I... I mean... Well I... I mean, Brian's the one that's always showing up with some new guy, so I just assumed that, uhm...
Dr. David Cameron: Don't worry about it.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Well, you know, they... they're... They love each other as friends, but that's it. That's really, that's all it is.
Dr. David Cameron: Really? It's not like I didn't know.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Do you... want a shrimp ball?
Dr. David Cameron: No... thanks.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus: Fuck.

[last lines]
Dr. David Cameron: Who are you thinking about?
Michael: What?
Dr. David Cameron: When you close your eyes, who are you thinking about?

"Queer as Folk: Now Approaching... The Line (#1.5)" (2000)
Dr. David Cameron: Can you lie down on your back?
Michael Novotny: Mmm... Sure. On my back. This is my favorite position. I'm just kidding.

Dr. David Cameron: [referring to Tracy] She's cute.
Michael Novotny: Yeah. What a coincidence running into you here.
Dr. David Cameron: Well, that's not really coincidence. You told me where you worked, remember?
Michael Novotny: Oh, yeah, right. Well, that's really nice, coming all this way just to see how I am.
Dr. David Cameron: Nothing is more important than my patients' health and well-being. I also wanted to get a new screwdriver.
Michael Novotny: Oh. Well, let me show you where the hardware department. We have a complete line of tools, all at everyday low prices.
Dr. David Cameron: And I wanted to, ah... ask you if you'd like to have dinner with me.
Michael Novotny: Huh?
Dr. David Cameron: Dinner. You know, where you sit at the table and eat food from a plate?

Michael Novotny: [after David asks him out] How did you...?
Dr. David Cameron: Remember that little problem you had in my table?
Michael Novotny: Yeah, but you said that even happens to football players.
Dr. David Cameron: Only the gay ones.

Dr. David Cameron: Is that Hugo Boss?
Michael Novotny: [turning to see his back] Where?
Dr. David Cameron: [pointing at Michael] Your jacket.
Michael Novotny: Oh, umm, yeah.
[referring to the jacket]
Michael Novotny: It's not even mine. It belongs to my friend Brian.
Dr. David Cameron: I bet he doesn't look half as good in it as you.
Michael Novotny: He looks better.
Dr. David Cameron: I find that hard to believe.
Michael Novotny: He can look good in anything. He even looks good in nothing.
Dr. David Cameron: Good body?
Michael Novotny: Awesome. When he walks into Babylon, heads turn like police lights just to look at him.
Dr. David Cameron: Sounds like I could make a fortune doing neck adjustments.

"Queer as Folk: Queens of the Road (#1.10)" (2001)
[first lines]
Dr. David Cameron: Michael, I have this fantasy.
Michael Novotny: Uh-huh.
Dr. David Cameron: It's Sunday morning and I'm lying in bed. And I hear the little thump of the newspaper, and the sun's just coming through the window.
Michael Novotny: Yeah?
Dr. David Cameron: And in the distance... I hear the sound of someone singing very quietly... because they don't want to wake me up.
Michael Novotny: Well, that's considerate, I think.
Dr. David Cameron: And as I look across the room... I see through the frosted glass of the shower, the shape of the guy that I love.
Michael Novotny: Am I conditioning my hair?
Dr. David Cameron: I'm being serious, Michael.
Michael Novotny: I know. I'm sorry. It sounds nice.
Dr. David Cameron: It is nice. It can be nice. It will be nice when you move in with me.
Michael Novotny: Hey, what do you know? "X-Men"'s out on D.V.D.

[last lines]
Dr. David Cameron: Just what I had in mind.

"Queer as Folk: Daddy Dearest (Sonny Boy) (#1.9)" (2001)
[last lines]
Michael: Look, I wanted to talk to you about...
Dr. David Cameron: I wanna...
Michael: You... You first.
Dr. David Cameron: Go, go.
Michael: Look, I know I disappointed you.
Dr. David Cameron: No, I let you down.
Michael: I'm an idiot and I...
Dr. David Cameron: I'm a jerk. I was insensitive. I should've been more sensitive.
Michael: I don't really fit in with your friends. I don't know if I ever will.
Dr. David Cameron: When two live in two separate places...
Michael: We're from two totally different worlds.
Dr. David Cameron: There's only one thing that we should do.
Michael: I know, I agree.
Dr. David Cameron: There's no other choice.
Michael: So, this is it. It's over.
Dr. David Cameron: Over? What's over? I want you to move in with me.

"Queer as Folk: The Ties That Bind (#1.15)" (2001)
Dr. David Cameron: How came you're sitting here on the sideline?
Michael Novotny: I told you, I can't scate.
Dr. David Cameron: Well, I'll help you.
Michael Novotny: If God wanted me to be on ice, he'd have made me a Vodka martini.

"Queer as Folk: Surprise! (#1.11)" (2001)
Dr. David Cameron: [answering the phone] Hello...? Hello...? Michael, I have caller I.D.
Michael: I must have pushed the wrong button.