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Quotes for
Miss Irvine (Character)
from The Witches (1990)

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The Witches (1990)
Marlene: [entering the room as they leave] Evening, madam. Just poppin' in to turn down your bed.
Miss Eva Ernst: How is the room service here?
Miss Irvine: Diabolical.
Miss Eva Ernst: Good.
Miss Irvine: How do you know that woman upstairs?
Miss Eva Ernst: Come along. Walk downstairs. The elevator is out of order.
[as they walk downstairs the elevator chimes]

Miss Eva Ernst: You may remove your shoes! You may remove your wigs!
[Grabs her wig with one hand and pulls her face mask down to her eyebrows with the other]
Miss Eva Ernst: The doors- are they locked and bolted?
Miss Irvine: Locked and bolted, your Grandness.
Miss Eva Ernst: Good. Help.

Henrietta: Poisoned sweets? We'll wipe them out like weasels!
Miss Eva Ernst: Who spoke?
Miss Irvine: [points at Henrietta and laughs] She did!
Henrietta: It's brilliant!
Miss Eva Ernst: Poisoned? And you don't mind getting caught, exposed, vilified?
Henrietta: [nervously] Well, I just thought...
Miss Eva Ernst: Mindless bumpkin! You blithering bogvumper!
[Henrietta winces in fear]
Miss Eva Ernst: No wonder that England is swarming with...
[Eva takes a deep breath to keep her cool]
Miss Eva Ernst: [now calm] Everything you sell that day will have to be treated with my very latest and very greatest magic formula.
[Eva holds out a tiny purple vial, Formula 86]
Miss Eva Ernst: [points and shouts to enunciate at Henrietta] Witches work only with magic!

[after being rejected from the banquet]
Miss Irvine: I didn't want to be one of them anyway.

Miss Irvine: [spoiler]
[after turning Luke back into a human, to Luke's mice, smiles]
Miss Irvine: Off you go, back home to Luke!

Miss Eva Ernst: What are you doing here?
Miss Irvine: The banquet, Miss Ernst.
Miss Eva Ernst: No, no, no, no! You must go to your room and prepare for...
Mr. Jenkins: Hello!
Miss Eva Ernst: ...tomorrow's flight. Yes.
[Waves to Mr. Jenkins]
Miss Eva Ernst: Have a good flight.
Miss Irvine: But it's our banquet!
Miss Eva Ernst: You are not here to enjoy yourself, you are here as my staff! Go to your room- *now*!
Miss Irvine: [long pause after Eva Ernst walks off] That's it! I quit!

Mr. Jenkins: Thought I'd like to say hello to a fellow philanthropist.
Miss Eva Ernst: You collect stamps?
Mr. Jenkins: Charitees. This RSPCC.
Miss Eva Ernst: What is this RSP...?
Miss Irvine: [whispers] Cruelty to Children!
Miss Eva Ernst: Oh, of course, you give money for the little...
Miss Eva Ernst: children. And... we of course... we also give money for the little...
[Irvine holds out a basin for he. Jenkins throws some change into it]