Miss Eva Ernst
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Quotes for
Miss Eva Ernst (Character)
from The Witches (1990)

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The Witches (1990)
Marlene: [entering the room as they leave] Evening, madam. Just poppin' in to turn down your bed.
Miss Eva Ernst: How is the room service here?
Miss Irvine: Diabolical.
Miss Eva Ernst: Good.
Miss Irvine: How do you know that woman upstairs?
Miss Eva Ernst: Come along. Walk downstairs. The elevator is out of order.
[as they walk downstairs the elevator chimes]

Nicola: Welcome Miss Ernst. Nicola Cuttle.
[Approaches and shakes Miss Ernst's hand]
Nicola: I have been so looking forward to meeting you. You look marvelous.
Miss Eva Ernst: Hm... I wish I could say the same for you, Nicola.

Miss Eva Ernst: You may remove your shoes! You may remove your wigs!
[Grabs her wig with one hand and pulls her face mask down to her eyebrows with the other]
Miss Eva Ernst: The doors- are they locked and bolted?
Miss Irvine: Locked and bolted, your Grandness.
Miss Eva Ernst: Good. Help.

Elsie: Wait! Wait!
[Miss Ernst and the others stop and turn around]
Elsie: I smell... dogs' droppings.
[all the witches gasp and begin to sniff around]
Woman in Black: Ugh! The smell!
Miss Eva Ernst: She's right! Search out this small lump of dung! Find it! It must be exterminated immediatly!

Luke: Grandma! Grandma! Wake up, Grandma! Oh please, Grandma!
[Miss Ernst and Miss Irvine enter the room]
Luke: My grandma!
Miss Eva Ernst: An old adversary I have discovered... very old...
Luke: If you hurt my grandma...
Miss Eva Ernst: Silence!

Henrietta: Poisoned sweets? We'll wipe them out like weasels!
Miss Eva Ernst: Who spoke?
Miss Irvine: [points at Henrietta and laughs] She did!
Henrietta: It's brilliant!
Miss Eva Ernst: Poisoned? And you don't mind getting caught, exposed, vilified?
Henrietta: [nervously] Well, I just thought...
Miss Eva Ernst: Mindless bumpkin! You blithering bogvumper!
[Henrietta winces in fear]
Miss Eva Ernst: No wonder that England is swarming with...
[Eva takes a deep breath to keep her cool]
Miss Eva Ernst: [now calm] Everything you sell that day will have to be treated with my very latest and very greatest magic formula.
[Eva holds out a tiny purple vial, Formula 86]
Miss Eva Ernst: [points and shouts to enunciate at Henrietta] Witches work only with magic!

[after Bruno turned into a mouse as the meeting ends]
Miss Eva Ernst: Any questions?
Millie: Madam, what would happen if one of the chocolates we give away was accidentally eaten by a grown-up?
Miss Eva Ernst: [chuckles uncaringly] Then that's just too bad for ze grown-up.

Miss Eva Ernst: [pointing her spoon at Helga as her witches turn into mice, yells] Y-you're doomed, old woman! You're doomed forever!

Miss Eva Ernst: What are you doing here?
Miss Irvine: The banquet, Miss Ernst.
Miss Eva Ernst: No, no, no, no! You must go to your room and prepare for...
Mr. Jenkins: Hello!
Miss Eva Ernst: ...tomorrow's flight. Yes.
[Waves to Mr. Jenkins]
Miss Eva Ernst: Have a good flight.
Miss Irvine: But it's our banquet!
Miss Eva Ernst: You are not here to enjoy yourself, you are here as my staff! Go to your room- *now*!
Miss Irvine: [long pause after Eva Ernst walks off] That's it! I quit!

Miss Eva Ernst: [Eva Ernst had moved towards a painting. She taps the man in the picture and stares intently] Hmm.
Janice: You look wonderful, Miss Ernst.
Dora: We *are* looking forward to this afternoon!
Miss Eva Ernst: [in disinterest] Mmm.
[walks away, Irvine approaches the painting and prepares to reach for it]
Miss Eva Ernst: Irvine?
[Miss Irvine reluctantly follows her to the elevator, the man in the painting slowly disappears]

Mr. Jenkins: Thought I'd like to say hello to a fellow philanthropist.
Miss Eva Ernst: You collect stamps?
Mr. Jenkins: Charitees. This RSPCC.
Miss Eva Ernst: What is this RSP...?
Miss Irvine: [whispers] Cruelty to Children!
Miss Eva Ernst: Oh, of course, you give money for the little...
Miss Eva Ernst: children. And... we of course... we also give money for the little...
[Irvine holds out a basin for he. Jenkins throws some change into it]

Bruno Jenkins: [enters the convention, points at the Grand High Witch] That lady promised me six whole bars of cream-whipped hazelnut milk chocolate. I've come to collect.
Miss Eva Ernst: Ladies, may I introduce Bruno? Come up here. I have the chocolate here.
[Bruno does so]
Miss Eva Ernst: [looks at her watch] I said 6:15, and that is in 15 seconds from now.
[the wicthes laugh as does Bruno]
Miss Eva Ernst: [looks at Bruno] You are in for a treat.
Miss Eva Ernst: [laughs] We all are!
[everyone including Bruno laughs]
Bruno Jenkins: [stops laughing] What's going on?
Miss Eva Ernst: [gestures him to wait] Just a few moments... Five!
Bruno Jenkins: I can't even see any chocolate!
Miss Eva Ernst: [continues as the other witches join in] Four! Three! Two! One!
Bruno Jenkins: [talks over them] Will one of you please tell me what's up?
Miss Eva Ernst: ZERO!
[Bruno groans in pain then belches loudly]
Miss Eva Ernst: We have ignition!
[the witches begin laughing in amusement]
Miss Eva Ernst: Everybody, look! It's fantastic! It's begun!
[Bruno begins turning into a mouse]
Miss Eva Ernst: I can't stand it; it's so wonderful! Look at you! It's fantastic!

[after being turned into a mouse]
Witch Chef: [runs in the restaurant to warn the other witches] Don't touch it! It's in the soup! Don't touch the soup!
Woman in Black: A child!
[she stomps on the mouse killing her instantly]
Miss Eva Ernst: Good...