Sally Solomon
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Quotes for
Sally Solomon (Character)
from "3rd Rock from the Sun" (1996)

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"3rd Rock from the Sun: Dick Is from Mars, Sally Is from Venus (#1.4)" (1996)
Sally Solomon: This is all your fault. I didn't want to be the woman. You made me be the woman.
Dr. Dick Solomon: You're a decorated veteran. I thought you could handle it.
Sally Solomon: Well, I can't. This is hard.

Sally Solomon: You just can't imagine what it feels like Dick. It's like he reached in and pulled all of the bones out of my body.
[Sally starts to cry and Dick starts moving away from her]
Dr. Dick Solomon: My God! What are you doing?
Sally Solomon: Apparently I'm leaking.

Sally Solomon: Damn it Dick. Give me some pain I can define!
Dr. Dick Solomon: I will not jam your hand in the toaster again.

Dr. Dick Solomon: Well, one of us has to experience sex and I am getting nowhere with her.
[Dick points towards Mary]
Sally Solomon: Well, why didn't you say so? I mean if sex is so important, you and I can do it right here on the desk and get it out of the way.

Sally Solomon: Tell me Dick, what kind of shampoo do you use?
Dr. Dick Solomon: I don't know.
Sally Solomon: Exactly. And you feel the urge to have an 8 pounds screaming larva rip its way out of your lower abdomen?
Dr. Dick Solomon: No, I think I can do without that.
Sally Solomon: See? Here you and I are completely different life forms and it's just some sick cosmic joke that we have to share a planet.

Dr. Dick Solomon: So, lieutenant, give us a full report on your assignment.
Sally Solomon: He was wonderful. He thinks I'm wonderful. He asked me where I've been all his life.
Dr. Dick Solomon: You didn't tell him.
Sally Solomon: All the coordinates. Thank goodness he didn't believe me so I didn't have to kill him.
Dr. Dick Solomon: What happened after dinner?
Sally Solomon: Well, he wanted to sleep with me, I wanted sex, but since he was tired I let him go home.

Sally Solomon: Hello, Brad. I've come to check your phone.

Sally Solomon: Frankly, when I think of the alternative, I just have to laugh.

Sally Solomon: Mother Earth.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Father Time.
Sally Solomon: Lady Luck.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Gentleman's Quarterley.
Sally Solomon: Daughter's of the American Revolution.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Son of Kong.
Sally Solomon: Fairy Godmother.
Dr. Dick Solomon: The Godfather of Souls.
Sally Solomon: Mississippi.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Mr. Sippi.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Assault with a Deadly Dick (#1.17)" (1996)
Dr. Dick Solomon: This planet has crossed the line. Assemble the giant robot!
Sally Solomon: Um... we didn't pack it. You wanted the room for your exercise bike.

[to Don]
Sally Solomon: If I had a gun like that, I wouldn't be sitting behind a desk until I ran out of bullets.

Sally Solomon: Dick, I've been telling you. This planet is in a bad neighborhood.

[about the stolen car radio]
Sally Solomon: Wait a minute. I know what's happened here. You see it all the time on the news.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Uh, toupees?

[referring to the mall]
Sally Solomon: I think the entire planet should be covered by one big roof.
Dr. Dick Solomon: And we should never be more than fifteen feet from a weenie on a stick.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Brains and Eggs (#1.1)" (1996)
[Sally is wearing a revealing dress]
[sarcastically]
Nina Campbell: Nice dress.
Sally Solomon: I just threw it on.
Nina Campbell: Yeah, well, you almost missed.

[Sally is fussing with her cleavage]
Sally Solomon: They seem to have greater power when they collide. I'm not wrong, am I?

Harry Solomon: Dick, I can't see through my eyelids.
Sally Solomon: Open them.
Harry Solomon: Oh, they're manual.

Dr. Dick Solomon: Sally, I want you to observe her. Find out what women on this planet do.
Sally Solomon: Well, why can't Harry do it?
Dr. Dick Solomon: Because you're the woman.
Sally Solomon: That brings up a very good question; why am I the woman?
Dr. Dick Solomon: Because you lost.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Post-Nasal Dick (#1.2)" (1996)
[after experiencing her first sneeze]
Sally Solomon: Wow!
Dr. Dick Solomon: What was that?
Sally Solomon: I don't know, but I want another one.

[after Sally had her first sneeze, Harry also had his first sneeze]
Sally Solomon: Was it as good for you as it was for me?

[explaining a wedding]
Dr. Dick Solomon: The ceremony begins with the bride being given away.
Sally Solomon: Excuse me? Given away? Like an object? As in 'free girl with every large fries'.
Tommy Solomon: Hey, there are free girls? Can I go?
Harry Solomon: Fries? Can I go?

Dr. Dick Solomon: So, how was school today?
Tommy Solomon: The best ever. I had my very first make-out session.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Good for you.
Tommy Solomon: It was with Dina, my lab partner.
Sally Solomon: Dina, the one with the--?
Tommy Solomon: [slyly] Oh, yeah.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Tell us everything, I want details.
Tommy Solomon: At first, I was conflicted. We come from very different backgrounds. I'm and alien and she's a Presbyterian. I have a highly developed mind and she's got that... big, pouty mouth. I tell you, Dick, it was a tough decision.
Sally Solomon: What tipped the scales?
Tommy Solomon: She let me.
Dr. Dick Solomon: What happened next?
Tommy Solomon: Well, I don't know what came over me, but... they were so big and round and beautiful... I just had to touch them.
Dr. Dick Solomon: And then what?
Tommy Solomon: She screamed "Ow, my eyes!" and that just basically killed the mood.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Just Your Average Dick (#3.22)" (1998)
Sally Solomon: It says here the average American uses 4.1 pounds of butter a year.
Tommy Solomon: Orally?

Tommy Solomon: [Tommy enters the room with his hair cut short] Hey guys
Sally Solomon: Who are you?
Tommy Solomon: It's me, Tommy.
Dr. Dick Solomon: You can't be Tommy, Tommy looks like a girl.
Tommy Solomon: I went to Mega cuts
Dr. Dick Solomon: If you're Tommy, answer me this, are we or are we not aliens?
Tommy Solomon: Yeah Dick we are
Harry Solomon: Tommy

Sally Solomon: [Sally drinks from a carton of milk and spits it out]
Sally Solomon: Tommy, see if this milk's gone bad
August: Not now, we're doing a report on our family's history
August: Okay, my family came to America in 1852 on a Dutch schooner. How about yours?
Tommy Solomon: Well, um, my great-grandfather, uh... escaped from the Nazis through the Alps with his family and their singing nanny.
August: Uh, Tommy.
Tommy Solomon: Yeah
August: That's 'The Sound of Music'.
Tommy Solomon: Yeah, I know. And don't think that we're not suing!


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Body & Soul & Dick (#1.8)" (1996)
[about what will happen to their earthly bodies after they go on to explore other planets]
Sally Solomon: Dick, I feel different here. I mean, I like Sally. What will happen to her when I'm gone? What happens to all her stuff? All her shoes?

Tommy Solomon: Matter into energy?
Sally Solomon: Could you have been more trite?
Harry Solomon: Why didn't you just phone it in?

Sally Solomon: [last lines - the whole family is gazing up at the night sky] When *are* we going to leave this planet?
Dr. Dick Solomon: When we know everything there is to know about life.
Harry Solomon: Whoa, good thing we have cable.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: A Dick on One Knee (#2.16)" (1997)
Sally Solomon: I've dated more than any of you.
Harry Solomon: But by no stretch of the imagination have you been the most promiscuous.

Sally Solomon: I'm getting married.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Why are you doing this?
Sally Solomon: Two reasons: I'm a woman and he asked me.

Sally Solomon: It's what women are supposed to do: Get married, have kids, hire total strangers to raise them and then wonder where they went wrong.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Dick Puts the 'Id' in Cupid (#5.11)" (2000)
Sally Solomon: Hey you guys, why is everything so red on Valentine's Day? I mean the greeting cards, and the candy, even the tire ads.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Well, red represents the blood that was spilled at the massacre.
Harry Solomon: Massacre?
Dr. Dick Solomon: Yeah, the St. Valentine's Day massacre. It's a very big deal here on Earth.

Alissa Strudwick: Hey guys!
Tommy Solomon: Hey Alissa! How you doin'?
Sally Solomon: Hey! Uuuuh...
[Runs to the kitchen]
Dr. Dick Solomon: Will you uh uh uh... Oh, look at the time.
[Runs out to his room]
Tommy Solomon: Harry?
Harry Solomon: Hm? Oh! I was just trying to stagger my exit for a more natural effect.
[Gets up to leave]
Harry Solomon: La la la, la la la la. And I'm out!

Tommy Solomon: This Valentine's Day is about me and Alissa maximizing the loving and minimizing the virginity.
Sally Solomon: Yes!
Dr. Dick Solomon: About time. I've been telling you to do that since you were 14.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: The Art of Dick (#1.11)" (1996)
Sally Solomon: Hey, Dick, why is it that you see nude people in museums but they never show them on TV?
Dr. Dick Solomon: Sure they do! But never in comedies, only in dramas and even so when the ratings sack.

Sally Solomon: These troops need a leader, not some chirpy, weak-chinned, underachieving drone. No offense.

Mrs. Hartzinger: I don't believe I've seen you before.
Sally Solomon: I don't believe you're blonde.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Lonely Dick (#1.7)" (1996)
Aviana: Are you oily or dry?
Sally Solomon: Depends on where you look.

Sally Solomon: What words are you not understanding? I want soap. I need soap. Just soap. GIVE ME SOAP!


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Dick Solomon of the Indiana Solomons (#4.11)" (1999)
Michelle Solomon: Sally, do you have a boyfriend?
Sally Solomon: Yes, I do, Michelle. His name is Don, and he's a cop.
Michelle Solomon: [chuckles] Ohhh! Cops are so hot!
Sally Solomon: [excitedly] Tell me about it! I've got me the hottest one! Hey, check him out.
[Sally takes a photo of Don from her shirt and gives it to Michelle. Michelle looks at the photo, and her chuckling instantly fades]
Michelle Solomon: [faintly] Whoa.
[Sally takes the photo back, unaware that Michelle is unimpressed of Don's look]
Sally Solomon: [smiles] Hands off, hon. He's mine.

Michelle Solomon: Hey, Sally, can I tell you a secret?
Sally Solomon: Sure, Missy. Of course you can.
Michelle Solomon: I'm a virgin.
Sally Solomon: [impressed] Wow!
Michelle Solomon: Yeah...
Sally Solomon: Really?
[Michelle nods]
Sally Solomon: God... I remember what those days were like, you know. Feel like I was the only person on Earth who hadn't had sex. Wondered what it was gonna be like.
Michelle Solomon: When did you lose your virginity?
Sally Solomon: Eh, couple of weeks ago.
Michelle Solomon: [amazingly] Wow!
Sally Solomon: Yeah... So what are you waiting for?
Michelle Solomon: I don't know... The right guy.
Sally Solomon: Oh my god! That is exactly what I did! That is so cool!
[they giggle and hug]


"3rd Rock from the Sun: See Dick Continue to Run: Part 2 (#2.2)" (1996)
[Sally is warning Dick that Evil Dick has seduced Dr. Albright]
Sally Solomon: She cares about you so much, she is upstairs, about to have sex with another man.
Dr. Dick Solomon: She would do that for me?
Sally Solomon: If you don't stop her.

Evil Dick: Now watch as I impregnate the entire population of Ohio with my demon progeny.
Tommy Solomon: Wait... even the men?
Evil Dick: Well... no, not the men.
Sally Solomon: What about little girls?
Evil Dick: No, not them, either.
Tommy Solomon: What about elderly women?
Evil Dick: I don't think so.
Harry Solomon: What about women who are already prenant?
Evil Dick: Enough! Suffice it to say that I will not be impregnating the *entire* population of Ohio, but all fertile women of child-bearing age who are not currently pregnant-and that *a lot*- will now find themselves pregnant by me.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Angry Dick (#1.13)" (1996)
[Dick is angry at Frank]
Dr. Dick Solomon: I have a plan.
Sally Solomon: Remember we're not allowed to liquefy humans.
Dr. Dick Solomon: [pauses] Ok, I have another plan.

Sally Solomon: So, does Frank know you're with me?
Patty Muller: No, I told him I was setting a perm. Does Dick know you're with me?
Sally Solomon: No, I injected him with a sedative. I've got at least two more hours.
Patty Muller: Oh, we're like Thelma and Louise, except we just came to the supermarket, we haven't killed anyone.
Sally Solomon: It's early yet.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Fun with Dick and Janet: Part 2 (#3.2)" (1997)
Dr. Dick Solomon: I don't believe it. The fake mother of my phony son... I've been dumped by my wife and my fiancee on the same day!
Sally Solomon: What about *me*? I've lost a live-in maid, a cook, a gardener, a chauffeur, and an electrician - and I loved her!

Sally Solomon: What did they do to you?
Tommy Solomon: It was pretty scary! As a juvenile, I could have spent 200 hours cleaning up other people's trash on the highway.
Officer Don: But I wanted to teach him a lesson, so I charged him as an adult.
Sally Solomon: What does that mean?
Tommy Solomon: I got a $40 fine.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Auto Eurodicka (#3.17)" (1998)
[Dick is telling about his casual sex experience]
Sally Solomon: Wait... You just met her, and...?
Tommy Solomon: Did you use a...?
Dr. Dick Solomon: Oh yeah! 3-pack! Ribbed, for her pleasure. But I turned them inside out.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Feelin' Albright (#4.3)" (1998)
[after having sex with Sally, Don gets dressed. Sally is lying naked in the bed]
Sally Solomon: [in complaining voice] Don, why do you have to go?
Officer Don: [puts on his gun belt] Why, Sally? Because ten years ago I took an oath. An oath to protect and serve this city, and nothing, not even the prospect of lying in bed naked with the sexiest, most beautiful woman I've... what the hell!
[Don drops the gun belt and jumps back to bed. He and Sally embrace and kiss passionately]


"3rd Rock from the Sun: A Nightmare on Dick Street: Part 2 (#2.26)" (1997)
Sally Solomon: I love TV.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Me too, what do you say we turn it on?
Sally Solomon: It's even better on!


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Moby Dick (#3.6)" (1997)
Sally Solomon: [to Dr Dick Solomon, who is trying to lose weight] Just be thankful you're a man, y'know, I mean, you guys can get away with it... The only time a woman is allowed to get fat is when she's pregnant, but she can't even enjoy it because she's barfing all the time and her boobs have turned into a restaurant.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Selfish Dick (#1.19)" (1996)
Sally Solomon: I've seen stuff that would make your eyes burst out of your sockets and splatter against the wall. In fact, I've seen that too.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: The Thing That Wouldn't Die: Part 2 (#6.20)" (2001)
Dr. Dick Solomon: Lieutenant. Information officer. Transmitter.
Sally Solomon, Harry Solomon, Tommy Solomon: High commander.
Dr. Dick Solomon: My family.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Green-Eyed Dick (#1.6)" (1996)
[Sally has entered the men's locker room]
Naked Guy: Hey, it says Men on the door!
Sally Solomon: And you made the cut?


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Truth or Dick (#1.10)" (1996)
Sally Solomon: You know, cars must have a huge power we haven't discovered yet. Look at this, the line, the waiting, the testing...
Harry Solomon: Can you imagine what you must have to go through to get a gun?


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Dick's Big Giant Headache: Part 2 (#4.24)" (1999)
Sally Solomon: Are you guys implying that I got this job because of my body?
Tommy Solomon: We're not implying anything. We're saying it right to your face.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Will Work for Dick (#2.22)" (1997)
Dr. Dick Solomon: Oh, good, they taught you to squat.
Sally Solomon: It's not a squat, it's a plié!
Dr. Dick Solomon: What's a plié?
Sally Solomon: IT'S A FRENCH SQUAT!


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Eat, Drink, Dick, Mary (#3.27)" (1998)
Sally Solomon: So you mean to tell me you really didn't know what you were doing the first time?
Vicki Dubcek: Please, I didn't know what I was doing. He didn't know what he was doing. The bus kept making all those stops.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: What's Love Got to Do, Got to Do with Dick? (#4.5)" (1998)
Eric: I'm waiting to get into the K-9 unit.
Sally Solomon: Ah, what's the hold up?
Officer Don Orville: Well, our dog ran away... But we're putting up fliers.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: The Physics of Being Dick (#3.21)" (1998)
Dick: Using Coulomb's Third Law, I was able to prove that he did it.
Tommy: What does that have to do with it?
Dick: Nothing. All I proved was that he's rotating around the sun, but he didn't know that. That's the wonderful thing about physics, nobody understands it.
Sally: So you can use your knowledge to bully people into submission.
Dick: That's the plan. As long as America's educational system remains woefully inadequate, I rule!


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Ab-dick-ted (#1.9)" (1996)
[subtly trying to kill Roy with a boulder to the head]
Sally Solomon: You know what really turns me on? The back of a man's head.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Father Knows Dick (#1.18)" (1996)
Sally Solomon: I want to meet your mother, we could all go out to dinner, the three of us.
Kevin Randall: Don't you think it's a little early?
Sally Solomon: No, breakfast would be a little early, dinner is fine.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Dial M for Dick (#5.4)" (1999)
Sally Solomon: I don't get it. For free, murder it's a horrible tragedy, but if you charge a hundred bucks for it, it suddenly it's a sophisticated night out.
Tommy Solomon: But it's inappropriate for kids.
Dr. Dick Solomon: This world does need more entertainment that it's acceptable for children.
Harry Solomon: Something where people are nice to each other. Something where people just love one another.
Tommy Solomon: They have that. It's called pornography.
Dr. Dick Solomon: And that's what kids should watch.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: The Loud Solomon Family: A Dickumentary (#5.9)" (2000)
Sally Solomon: [to Mary] Dad's a great guy, you'd love to meet him.
Dr. Mary Albright: Dick, you told me your father was dead.
Dr. Dick Solomon: She meant you'd like his corpse.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Dick Strikes Out (#5.16)" (2000)
Dr. Dick Solomon: I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now *Senior* Security Officer.
Sally Solomon: That'll look good on the old résumé.
Dr. Dick Solomon: Tommy, you are now *Senior* Information Officer.
Tommy Solomon: It's about time.
[everybody is quiet for a moment]
Harry Solomon: What about me?
Dr. Dick Solomon: Harry, you are now... Harold.
Harry Solomon: Champagne for everyone!


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Sex and the Sally (#5.7)" (1999)
Harry Solomon: Sally, I'm starving. What's for dinner?
Sally Solomon: Oh, I made you some hamburgers. They're down at the hamburger place. All you have to do is go there, order them, pay for them.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Dick the Vote (#2.6)" (1996)
Officer Don: Sometimes a wrinkle runs through the city, and it rears up on its haunches, like an ugly monkey ready to strike.
Sally Solomon: Oh Don! You always have your finger up the pulse of danger!


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Same Old Song and Dick (#2.17)" (1997)
Sally Solomon: You could never handle my job.
Harry Solomon: I could do it with my eyes closed.
Tommy Solomon: You do everything with your eyes closed.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Dick's Big Giant Headache: Part 1 (#4.23)" (1999)
Sally Solomon: So how was your trip, sir?
The Big Giant Head: Horrifying, at first. I looked out the window and... I saw something on the side of the plane.
Dr. Dick Solomon: The same thing happened to me!


"3rd Rock from the Sun: See Dick Run (#1.20)" (1996)
Sally Solomon: You know, I just really resent how we're supposed to jump every time the Big Giant Head sends a message.
Dr. Dick Solomon: I know, everyone knows he only got the job by kissing the Big Giant Butt.


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Red, White & Dick (#6.8)" (2000)
Tommy Solomon: Wow wow wow. What's with the new shoes?
Sally Solomon: They ain't new. I got 'em four hours ago!


"3rd Rock from the Sun: Dick and Taxes (#4.12)" (1999)
[Dick is filling out his tax form]
Dr. Dick Solomon: Line 14, 'Other gains or losses'.
Tommy Solomon: I gained two pounds.
Sally Solomon: I lost my virginity.