Burt Vickerman
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Quotes for
Burt Vickerman (Character)
from Stick It (2006)

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Stick It (2006)
Haley Graham: If you think I'm getting back on the competition floor with some stupid, watered-down, cookie cutter routine, you are seriously senile!
Burt Vickerman: Have you ever seen anyone blow a knee?
Haley Graham: No.
Burt Vickerman: You wanna keep it that way, or should we have an ambulance on call for you?
Burt Vickerman: [Whispers] Call 'em up!

Burt Vickerman: You gonna be ready soon?
Haley Graham: Yup.
Burt Vickerman: You gonna hurt yourself?
Haley Graham: Probably.
Burt Vickerman: Just don't get any blood on the equipment.
Haley Graham: [Clicks tongue] Too late!

Burt Vickerman: This is not the real world. This is my world. You don't have to like me or like it here, but you do have to respect it.
[Ivan throws Haley on some mats]
Haley Graham: Respect? Is this how you respect people? I mean, you throw 'em over a shoulder and violate their personal space?
[thumbs up]

Haley Graham: [about the girls Burt picked for the Classics] They just get their spots handed to them? What about the rest of us?
Joanne: I don't like what you're 'instimulating', Haley.
Haley Graham: [Whispers to herself] 'Instimulating'?
Joanne: I have totally earned my spot.
Burt Vickerman: Girls.
Joanne: I'm practically a Dalmatian.
Haley Graham: Dalmatians are born with spots, they don't earn them. Which is exactly my point.
Joanne: Dogs are people, too, Haley!
Burt Vickerman: Very nice, Joanne! Touche!
Joanne: Thank you!

Joanne: Vick? When can we scrap the old long-sleeved leotards? We need new ones for Championships. Every college will be scouting me!
[Haley scoffs]
Joanne: Not that *you* have to worry about any of that.
Haley Graham: New leotards might disctract, you know, the judges and scouts from you... lack of talent. It's a solid strategy.
Joanne: Gee, *Pariah* Carey, I wonder why no one's scouting you. Oh, I forgot! You don't matter!
[Walks away]
Haley Graham: [to Burt] That she can even say the word 'college' is an indictment against the whole institution.
Burt Vickerman: Hey, filibuster, no one cares.

Burt Vickerman: Go get changed, warm up and join vault rotation.
Haley Graham: Uh, sorry. I accidentally burned all my leotards last year. Hope this is okay!

Burt Vickerman: I haven't had four girls qualify for Championships in a long time.
Haley Graham: Define long.
Burt Vickerman: Actually, I haven't had four girls qualify... ever.
Haley Graham: Are you gonna cry?
Burt Vickerman: No, I'm not gonna cry! It's just, it's, it's, it's a nice thing. It's beautiful. Jesus, Hay.
[walks away]
Haley Graham: [Walking after him] What? You can cry. It doesn't make you any less of a man, Vicky! Come on, I won't tell the parents!

Burt Vickerman: You're popping your clutch, losing traction.
Haley Graham: I'm not popping shit.
Burt Vickerman: Are you sure?
Haley Graham: I'm so sure I'm practically deodorant.

Haley Graham: I heard you were strict about diet, but this is just rude.
Burt Vickerman: Hey, you piss where I eat, you don't eat.
Haley Graham: Oh, but you do? Does this mean you're eating my piss? Cause that's disgusting.

Burt Vickerman: [to Mina] Your bra was sticking out.
[Yells to the crowd]
Burt Vickerman: One tenth off, because her *bra was sticking out*!

Burt Vickerman: Why not an in house competition?
Joanne: Because we no long need-o!
Burt Vickerman: Let's get back to work, ladies. No killing Haley in her sleep!

Haley Graham: [Making a phone with her hands] Mina, right?
Mina Hoyt: [Makes the phone as well] Yeah, Mina.
Joanne: Mina, put down the phone!
Haley Graham: Can you tell Joanne that I'm gonna take over and do a *real* dismount?
Mina Hoyt: Joanne, Haley's on the phone. She says she's gonna do a real dismount.
Joanne: I heard her, thank you!
Haley Graham: How about a double back?
Burt Vickerman: You will not throw a double back without training it first, Haley!
Haley Graham: Close your eyes.
Burt Vickerman: Over my dead body.
Haley Graham: A little CPR might do you good.
Haley Graham: Haley!

Burt Vickerman: [after Haley's first scratch] Way to stick it. Next time you should stick out your tongue, too.
Haley Graham: I would, but my coach likes it when I control my tricks.

Haley Graham: [V.O] V... G... A. Otherwise known as the Vickerman Gymnastics Academy. There's only one thing worse than having no control over your life. It's being forced to live it with people who hate you. And I was suddenly the filling in the middle of an 'I-Hate-You' sandwich. Meet the bread.
Burt Vickerman: [Watching over the practice] Ladies, read my mind. Read my mind, ladies.
Haley Graham: Burt Vickerman *used* to whip up the best gymnasts west of the Mississippi. That is, until his gym started producing more injuries than champions. We'd never met, and I'd been hoping to keep it that way.
Burt Vickerman: Is my mind saying 'relax'? Maybe you can read my mind, and it's completely lost. Have I lost my mind? Is that why you're staring off into space?
[Sees Haley]
Burt Vickerman: Ah. Join us.
Joanne: What is *she* doing here?
Haley Graham: Joanne Charis. Four time National Team member. Five time National Haley-Hater. Why all the hate? Well, when you walk out on Worlds and lose Team USA some team gold, it's not personal. It's national. And in the world of gymnastics, hating me was practically a sport, in and of itself.

Burt Vickerman: [Haley does a skill and tumbles on her landing] Shall we share out philosophy with Haley, ladies? Speak my mind. What are we about?
Joanne, Mina Hoyt, Wei Wei Yong, Devon, Lacey, Brooke: Clean, safe routines, guaranteed to stick.
Haley Graham: [Gags] Is he keeping your brains in jars? Or should I be concerned about the water?

Burt Vickerman: Listen, I don't suppose college gymnastics is on your To-Do list, right?
Haley Graham: Correct. College gymnastics is one big fat To-Don't.

Burt Vickerman: Haley?
[Haley misses her Gienger and falls]
Burt Vickerman: Ouch.
[Referring to Frank and Poot]
Burt Vickerman: These yours?

Burt Vickerman: Okay, boys, time to go.
Frank: We're cool, man. Thanks.
Haley Graham: Come on. I mean, even prisons have visiting hours.
Burt Vickerman: Yeah, and they're scaring the, the mini-vans out of the moms next door.
Frank: Please, those mommies were totally hitting on us.
Poot: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hitting on *us*? Mommies and *me*, dude. Mommies and *me*.
Burt Vickerman: It's the devil's candy, boys. Trust me. Say good-bye.

Frank: What's up your butt?
Burt Vickerman: What'd you say about my butt?
Poot: Whatever it is, it's sideways!

Burt Vickerman: Haley, I'm not gonna tell you to play it safe, cause I'd be wasting my time. You wanna throw hard tricks, throw hard tricks. When you wanna control them, see me.

Haley Graham: [Leaving for the Classic] Wait! Do you have a license to practice gymnastics?
Burt Vickerman: It was revoked. Get it.

Burt Vickerman: Joanne, I need you to lend Haley your team leo for the Classic.
Joanne: Ew! Unsanitary!
Burt Vickerman: [Lacey does a trick and falls, injuring her leg] Joanne, pack your bags. Lacey, I need you to lend Haley your leo for the Classic.
Joanne: Yes!
[Does a dance and falls on her face]

Burt Vickerman: [Haley is walking out on another meet] Haley, don't do this again. Let's go back in there and finish this meet. Come on. Don't bail again! Finish this meet. Finish it for yourself.
Haley Graham: For me? Yeah, you know, you said something about the fact that this was about me. You know, helping me, my freedom. You forgot to tell me about the part you were cashing in on it!
Burt Vickerman: Haley, I meant everything I said. I never lied to you.
Haley Graham: Everything you said was an insurance policy to get those fat checks from my father!
Burt Vickerman: Haley, you're not leaving like this. You're gonna go back in there, finish this meet. Don't make this another Worlds! Don't do it, don't bail!
Haley Graham: You don't know the first thing about Worlds.
Burt Vickerman: All right, fine. I give up. You know, we gave it a shot. I'm gonna talk to your father. Maybe you should go back to Chris DeFrank's.
Haley Graham: Chris DeFrank's? You want me to go back to DeFrank's?
Burt Vickerman: Well, you don't listen to me. You know? Clearly you listened to him long enough for...
Haley Graham: Yeah, long enough to hook up with my mom.
[Whimpers]
Haley Graham: Long enough for him to... rip my family apart.
Burt Vickerman: Oh, hey. When did, when did you find this out?
Haley Graham: Before floor... At Worlds.
Burt Vickerman: Aw, Haley, I... I had no idea. I'm sorry.
Haley Graham: You didn't owe it to me to be a decent coach. You owed it to me to be a decent human being.

Haley Graham: Listen, I'll stay on one condition.
Burt Vickerman: Oh, this I gotta hear. Does it involve you and self-imposed silence?

Burt Vickerman: [Phyllis wants to leave] Joanne, you're more than welcome to stay.
Mrs. Charis: Josie, let's go.
Joanne: [Joanne walks toward the exit, then stops] I think... I'm gonna go to prom first.
[Phyllis walks out]

Burt Vickerman: That rule is ancient!
Head Vault Judge: Apparently, so is her bra.

Chris DeFrank: Hey, Burt, how ya doing? Good job today. That Haley is a handful, isn't she?
Burt Vickerman: What do you mean?
Chris DeFrank: Oh, come on, Burt. I built that kid. I mean, you can glom on for the ride, but everyone knows who built her. Make no mistake, buddy.
Burt Vickerman: Yeah, that 'kid', that kid is here in spite of you, Chris.
Burt Vickerman: You're kidding.
Chris DeFrank: You know, if I didn't have four girls competing tomorrow, I'd kick your ass just for thinking you had to do with her.
Burt Vickerman: Well, she might not have medaled, but at least she can still walk, right? Good job, Burt.

Haley Graham: [after Nastia does an amazing skill on bars] I'm so glad we picked her! I'm so glad we picked her!
Burt Vickerman: Picked her?

Burt Vickerman: [Before her final floor performance] I just want you to know...
Haley Graham: What?
Burt Vickerman: That, uh... I'm so, uh...
Haley Graham: Don't.
Burt Vickerman: No, no, no, no, no. I'm so... proud to be your coach. Now don't you dare hold back. And floor it.

Haley Graham: [about colleges scouting her] Maybe I should just tell 'em to stick it.
Burt Vickerman: Oh, yeah. Like you know how to stick it.
Haley Graham: Uh, my feet were glued!
Burt Vickerman: Yeah, to a high speed bus!
Haley Graham: You're the one that told me to floor it!
Burt Vickerman: [laughs] Yeah, you floored it, all right!