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: There's a vacancy in history. Tom Irwin
] That's very true. Headmaster
: In the school. Tom Irwin
: I was a geographer. I went to Hull.
: On enquiry I find his pupils know all the words of "When I'm Cleaning Windows".
: So the upshot is I am glad he handled his pupils' balls because at least that I can categorise.
: Fuck the Ren-ai-ssance! And fuck literature, and Plato, and Michaelangelo, and Oscar Wilde, and all the other shrunken violets you people line up. This is a school, and it isn't normal!
[talking about the school
: We're low in the league. I want to see us up there with Manchester Grammar, Haberdasher Askes, Leighton Park... or is that an open prison?
[talking about Tom Irwin
: He comes highly-recommended. Mrs. Lintott
: So did Anne of Cleves. Headmaster
: Who? He's up-to-the-minute, more "now". Mrs. Lintott
] Now? I thought history was "then".
: Ah, Irwin! Splendid news!
[pops the cork of a bottle of champagne
: Splendid news! Posner a scholarship! Dakin an exhibition! And places for everybody else!
[cops a feel of Fiona's bum
: It's... it's more then one could have ever hoped for! Irwin you are to be congratulated! A remarkable achievement! Oh and, you too, you too Dorothy of course, you, ah, laid the foundation. Mrs. Lintott
: Not Rudge headmaster. Headmaster
: Not Rudge. Oh, dear. Tom Irwin
: He said nothing, the others have all had letters. Headmaster
: There's always an outside chance. It's a pity, it would have been good to have a clean swoop.
[Rudge appears at the door, but only seen by Mrs. Lintott
: Still as I've said all along, you can't polish a turd. Mrs. Lintott
: [Rudge leaves and Mrs. Lintott takes after him down the hallway
[Rudge stops and turns around
] Mrs. Lintott
: You haven't heard from Oxford?
[Rudge shakes his head
] Mrs. Lintott
: Perhaps you'll hear tomorrow. Rudge
: Why should I? They told me when I was there. Mrs. Lintott
: I'm sorry. Rudge
: What for? I got in. Mrs. Lintott
: How come? Rudge
: How come they told me, or how come they took a thick sod like me?... I had family connections. Mrs. Lintott
] Somebody in your family went to Christ Church? Rudge
: In a manner of speaking, my Dad, before he got married he was a college servant there. This old, parson, who just been sitting there most of the interview, suddenly said was I related to Bill Rudge who was a scout in staircase seven in the ninety-fifties. So, said he was my Dad, and they said I was the kind of candidate they were looking for. Mind you I did do the other stuff, like Stalin was a sweetie and Wilfred Owen was a wuss. They said I was plainly someone who thought for himself, and exactly what the college rugger team needed. Mrs. Lintott
: Are you not pleased? Rudge
: It's not like winning a match.