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Quotes for
Scripps (Character)
from The History Boys (2006)

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The History Boys (2006)
[Dakin is annoyed because he thinks Irwin doesn't like him]
Posner: But he doesn't understand, Irwin *does* like him. He seldom looks at anyone else.
Scripps: How do you know?
Posner: Because nor do I. Our eyes meet looking at Dakin.

[Scripps is taking the mick out of Dakin for trying to please Irwin too much]
Scripps: Have you looked at your handwriting recently? You're beginning to write like him!
[turns to look at Posner's essay]
Scripps: You're writin' like 'im an' all!
Posner: I am not! Dakin writes like him, I write like Dakin.

[discussing Posner liking Dakin]
Scripps: Oh, Pos, with your spaniel heart. It will pass.
Posner: Yes, it's a phase. Who says I want it to pass? But the pain, the *pain*.
Scripps: Hector would say it's the only education worth having.
Posner: Yes. I just wish there were marks for it.

[about Irwin]
Dakin: Foreskins and stuff. "Oh, sir, you devil!"
Scripps: Have a heart. He's only five minutes older than we are.

[about religion]
Scripps: It's what you don't do.
Dakin: You don't *not wank*? Jesus, you're headed for the bin.
Scripps: It's not for ever.
Dakin: Yeah? Well, tell me on the big day and I'll stand well back.

[Fiona walks past. Dakin and Scripps gaze lustfully at her]
Dakin: Lecher though one is - or aspires to be - it occurs to me that the lot of woman cannot be easy, who must suffer such inexpert male fumblings, virtually on a daily basis. Are we scarred for life, do you think?
Scripps: We must hope so.

Scripps: What makes you think he'd do it with you?
[Dakin smiles]
Scripps: You complacent fuck.
Dakin: Does the Archbishop of Canterbury know you talk like this?

Dakin: I just wanted to say thank you.
Scripps: So? Give him a subscription to The Spectator or a box of Black Magic. Just because you've got a scholarship doesn't mean you've got to give him unfettered access to your dick.

Scripps: No more genital massage as one speeds along leafy suburban roads. No more the bike's melancholy long withdrawing roar as he dropped you at the corner, your honour still intact.

[about Dakin/Irwin]
Dakin: So how would you say thank you?
Scripps: Same as you probably. On my knees.

[about to go on the bike with Hector]
Scripps: The things I do for Jesus.

[Timms is trying to duck out of Athletics]
Wilkes: What's the matter with you, lad?
Timms: I've got a note.
Wilkes: How much for?
Wilkes: I don't *do* notes! Get changed!
Timms: Sir...
Wilkes: God doesn't do notes, either. Did Jesus Christ say, "Can I be excused the Crucifixion?" No!
Scripps: Actually, sir, I think he *did*...

Dakin: The more you read, though, the more you'll see that literature is actually about losers.
Scripps: No.
Dakin: It's consolation. All literature is consolation.

Dakin: What happened with Hector? On the bike?
Scripps: As per. Except I managed to get my bag down. I think he thought he'd got me going. In fact it was my Tudor Economic Documents, Volume 2.

Scripps: Love can be very irritating.
Posner: How do you know?
Scripps: That's what I always think about God. Must get so pissed off, everybody adoring him all the time.
Posner: Yes, only you don't catch God poncing about in his underpants.