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: Maybe what he need is for you to pop your titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up. Emily
: Excuse me, what did you say? Major Payne
: I didn't stutter, I said pop-your-titty-out-his-mouth AND STOP BABYING HIM. Emily
: I don't call it babying, I call it nurturing. Major Payne
: And I call it neutering. Emily
: And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, edictorial, ego maniacal, frigid lunatic ASSHOLE! Major Payne
: I ain't frigid.
: [She and Tiger enter Major Payne's office
] Apparently he had a little accident. Major Payne
: Apparently he pissed all over the front of his pants. Emily
: Well maybe that's because he's six. Major Payne
: Because he's six? Woman, when I was six years old I had a full time job.
[Major Payne has shaved the children bald
: Major Payne, can you please help me to understand why you shaved the children bald? Major Payne
: Oh, that's my little incentive program. These boys have to earn their do... their hair-do that is. Heh,Heh,Heh.
: He's trying to show you some affection. Major Payne
: I don't like it. It makes me feel all funny.
: Maybe I like you. Emily
: Just like? Major Payne
: Maybe I like you a lot. Emily
: That's it? Major Payne
: Don't push the "maybes", baby.
: Here. I want you to read this book. Read it. Apply it. Major Payne
: The ABC's Of Being A Positive Male Role Model?
: I surprised you ain't dropped 'bout 12 puppies by now. Ain't you never been married? Emily
: Yeah, I was. Major Payne
: What happened? You terminate his command? Emily
: No, actually he left. I wanted children, he didn't.
: [as Payne is hazing the cadets by making them run around the Madison campus in drag
] Major, WHAT are the boys doing in those DRESSES? Major Benson Winifred Payne
: Oh, they're just puttin' on a fashion show. Emily
: Do you really think THIS is the best way to gain the respect and admiration of these young men? Major Benson Winifred Payne
: They may not like me, but they WILL respect me. Emily
: Let me be more direct: they HATE you. Major Benson Winifred Payne
: Good. It'll draw 'em close together, make 'em a team. Emily
: That's a very cynical plan! Major Benson Winifred Payne
: Yeah, well at least it won't backfire. Besides, they started it.